Haruhi briskly walked home, because running was now out of the question. Every Time she took a deep breath she made a strange wheezing sound. She threw open the front door only to see Kakashi handing her a backpack full of everything she assumed she would be needing, his own pack resting at his feet.
They still had about an hour left, so Haruhi nodded towards the shower and practically dived in. She scrubbed the dirt and debris from working at the uchiha compound, and the sweat from all the activities. She used the special buttercream shampoo for her hair that had grown past her shoulders-when had that happened? She scrubbed so hard at her skin trying to feel clean again that her nails left thin raised red scratches in her brown skin.
She dried off shakily, throwing on the clothes Kakashi had left her on the edge of the sink. She put on her boots(closed toed, she had insisted) used the toilet, washed her hands, took one final look at herself in the mirror, and walked out.
Kakashi took one look at her and his face creased with worry.
"What? Is it because of what happened last mission?"
Well, that and Jiraiya. But what could Haruhi's say? The man that was Minato's sensei, his father figures sensei, groped her? And that they would all be traveling together for the next few weeks?
She hated this. She normally was so outspoken, but she didn't want to inconvenience Kakashi.
"Um, yeah."
He sent her a concerned look.
"Haruhi, you can tell me. I won't ever get mad at you."
When he said it like that, how could she not?
"Me and the kids, while at Naruto's trying to figure out what was going on, Jiraiya, he, uh…"
Her face heated in embarrassment.
"He what?"
Kakashi's face had grown painfully neutral. Perhaps he knew what she was going to say.
"He groped me. Said it's a shame my chest didn't grow too. And moved like he would have done the same to Karin."
A burst of killing intent, not directed towards her but still stifling, blanketed the room before Kakashi got control of himself.
"I think Karin wanted to go on this mission to learn about seals, but I don't think that's such a good idea."
"Don't worry." Kakashi said calmly, "I'll have her stay behind in Konoha."
Relieved, Haruhi smiled.
"I think you should stay behind as well, Haruhi."
She balked.
"What!? I can't! I promised Naruto I would go, and I want to go."
Kakashi sighed, exhaling sharply.
"You can be very stubborn and uncompromising, you know that? You're obviously scared to be around him, so why not stay here. I'm sure Naruto would understand."
Ouch. Haruhi chewed her lip.
"You're going, and you said you'd never leave me behind again."
Kakashi's eyes widened before he conceded defeat.
"I can't argue with that. Let's head out."
They began walking towards the gaits, Haruhi's thoughts churning with anxiety. Kakashi should be in the hospital by now, felled by Itachi's genjutsu. But he was here walking with her. What had happened to delay Itachi?
The only way to find out what she needed to know was going on this trip. Would Itachi show up again? And if he did she needed to be there for Sasuke! And as much as jiraiya scared her, he was her only ticket back home. No one else had his skill in fuinjutsu.
They arrived at the gait, Sasuke pulling up next to them and Jiraiya already waiting with Naruto.
To their surprise, Sakura and Tenten walked up, Sakura without her pack.
"Where's your stuff?" Naruto asked.
Sakura fiddled nervously with her hands. And then she beamed up at them.
"I have an announcement to make. I cannot go with you guys on the trip."
Everyone, but Haruhi especially, gawked at her.
"Why not?"
What was keeping her from going this time?
Sakura giggled nervously, the anxious energy from earlier dissipating slightly.
"My mom is pregnant! I'm going to stay and help her because she's due in the next couple of weeks. She kept it hidden because she wanted to make sure the baby was healthy! I'm going to write my bi-annuel medical report on it!"
Haruhi gasped in shock and delight, while Sasuke and Naruto fell over in surprise. Kakashi laughed delightly, and Tenten patted Sakura on the back in congratulations.
Haruhi remembered going over to Sakura's house to talk with Kizashi, Anko, and Mebuki, and how she turned down the alcohol.
This was great news, but it made Haruhi upset at the implications. The Haruno's were an older couple. It could be that the stress of the original timeline with the attack from Sound and Sand on Konoha had caused her to lose the baby.
"Congratulations! That great to hear." Kakashi said warmly.
Naruto started rapid fire talking and Sasuke smiled at her.
"I can't wait to come over and visit when we get back!" Haruhi said.
Tenten stepped forward as Sakura waved goodbye.
"I'll be taking Sakura's place. I already got permission from Gai-sensei."
Kakashi nodded and Haruhi watched as Tenten pulled out a book of seals, some of them Karins, and walked up to Jiriaya to ask him a few questions as they set off down the gates. Haruhi tensed up but she knew Tenten had a much better sense of self than Karin, and was too tomboy for Jiraiya. She would be fine.
Her eyes were glinting with ambition and cunning in a way Haruhi recognized. She was that same look in herself. She had also clearly been filled in as to what happened between Jiraiya and Haruhi, approaching wearily.
"Jiraiya-sama? Would you mind answering some of my questions on seals while we go?"
"Ugh. Fine." He grumbled, Kakashi listening in carefully.
They set down the road, Sasuke and Naruto in the front, Tenten talking seals with Jiraya, and Haruhi and Kakashi holding hands, taking up the rear.
Anything could happen now.
WOW! Sakura is gonna have a little sibling! Who would of thought? Will she and Karin be able to set aside their differences while in Konoha together? And Tenten! Clever girl. She took Karin an Sakura's spots on purpose to squeeze seal info from Jiraya and Kakashi. And maybe to also meet her idol, Tsunade.
And just how will Kakashi and Haruhi confront Jiriaya? Will Sasuke meet up with his brother? How will Sasuke deal with meeting the last Senju, his rival clan and someone similar to him?
Naruto. How will he deal with the fox? With his estranged godfather?
And actually lets talk about that.
Many of you were upset with what happened last chapter with Haruhi being groped by Jiraya. Some of you were upset because that is a horrible thing to do to someone. Some of you were also upset because Jiriaya is among your favorite characters, and think I am giving him a bad rap and misrepresenting him.
...Am I?
This is completely within character for Jiriaya to do. There are entire complimations on youtube of him spying, harassing, groping, and gawking unwilling people. Remember that one scene when he was teaching Naruto to focus his chakra so he could see the seal and said "You have quite a tight sexy little body." and felt him up? The clip is on youtube.
Master roshi in an episode of Dragonball super, wins his match by threatening the female opponent with rape, saying "don't blame for what happens next" before she runs off in fear.
My point being, the trope of a lovable, sometimes old, pervert is a huge part of Jiraya's character. And it is NOT okay.
This trope was established by master roshi in dragon ball and oolong. It was picked up in Naruto by Jiriaya and carried on in various other popular animes such as pokemon and Miroku in Inuyasha.
The problem with characters like this is that people watch them and their antics, and laugh. These characters frame sexual assault and harassment as a joke to millions of people who watch them.
Media is important because it is a huge power of influence. People learn about the world around them by watching media, and yes, this even includes anime and cartoons. These programs shape us as people. Look up the scully effect. The show the X-files starred a woman named Diana Scully as prominent medical doctor and tens of thousands of real life women were inspired to peruse STEM careers because of it.
Media affects real life.
And when Characters like Jiraya are show who portray these huge problems of sexual harassment as joke not to be taken seriously, it contributes to this rape culture.
It makes it harder for people who have been sexually assaulted to come forward. It allows more people to pass of their predatory behavior as harmless jokes, and allows them to get away with it. just look at how Haruhi was hesitant to tell even Kakashi! Look at how scared women were to come forward against Harvey Weinstein or bill cosby!
And jiriaya is in a position of power over almost everyone like the above examples! There are multiple clips of him harassing civilians in the bath, and its heavily implied he felt up their chests! There would be nothing they could do to stop him. It's not just Tsunade, who can actually fight back.
And even though she can fight back against jiriaya, it's still not okay that he spies on her!
When jiriaya and Master Roshi are built up as these awesome characters we should aspire too, when they are framed by the narrative of their arcs as heroes and paragons of greatness, it frames their intolerable actions, including the 'perverseness" as something that is okay.
it is not.
Someone(s) had reviewed on the previous chapters how they were upset over how Jiriaya was demonized. That I crossed a line when writing the last chapter, and I will say this;
I do regret loosing those readers. I will miss their input. I am sorry they won't be here on this journey with us anymore.
However. I do not regret writing that chapter. Far too many times I've seen too many people give jiriaya and other a pass for his abhorrent behavior, excusing him. letting them get away with it because there are other elements of themselves that supposedly make up for it. Then people adopting these view points and applying them to real life.
Well not here.
This was a line that needed to be crossed, and knowing what I know now, I'd still publish that chapter.
This fic has always been about confrontation. My goal when I wrote the first chapter was to put Haruhi into this world to critique it. Right from chapter one, there has been a critical eye on canon, with lord third going over the uchiha massacre in his minds eye. So disgruntled reviewers, you are right that my writing style has changed much. I have been writing this for 3+ years after all, before I even published the first chapter, and I have changed much since then.
But this fic has always, always, been about dissecting canon.
(This fic tackles many complex issues, including poverty, discrimination, hunger, eating disorders, mental illness, child soldiers, dictatorships, violence, isolation, war, abuse, Sexual issues, LGBT issues, immigration, social classes/privilege, PTSD, GENOCIDE, and many others. This fic has always been tackling these issues. It was subtle at the beginning, but only became more prominent with time.)
the tone was a bit different at the beginning, campy and what not, but so was the original Naruto before it got dark too.
and that brings me to making the characters dark.
a part of dissecting canon is dissecting the characters that shaped canon. Many of you were upset with my treatment of lord third. Lord Third made many mistakes, and while his death was good tearjerker material, that does not give him a pass either. Same with Jiriaya. And soon, same with Itachi.
These characters have always been dark. I am only bringing that to the light. Their gruesome mistakes and shortcomings will not be swept under the rug or glorified like in canon.
This is MY fanfiction. I will be doing what I want. (although I will always consider your input).
The final main complaint is many people speaking about how they used this fanfic as a getaway, an escape from the stressors of life. Me too.
When I see something wrong in the world, I feel powerless. When friends of mine have been sexually assaulted and are asked for details of their outfit instead of the assultor, I want to cry from helplessness.
This fic is my way of taking back some of that. It is my way of feeling powerful-not helpless. This fanfic is my way of holding people accountable for their actions or in-actions that they would normally get away with, in anime or real life.
This Fic is how I vent my frustrations to all the injustices and wrongs I see in life, that is reflected in media like Naruto. This is me confronting that in a controlled environment.
I am sorry this fic has had a negative effect on you. The tone is undeniably darker and many of you are dissapointed because of that.
I am genuinely sorry.
If you cannot read this fic anymore because of that I wish you goodbye. I would like you to know that I still plan for breather chapters in the future, including one where we are introduced to Sakura's little sibling. ( I will be running a poll for the gender).
I will also make my trigger warnings more apparent and add them in. I am sorry I did not do soon sooner. If you would like for me to add other warnings to certain chapters, type it out and I will do so.
All that being said, I would like to thank all of my loyal readers for their support and eagerly await your responses.
I know this rant has been long, but thank you for your time and attention.
Until next time.