Chapter 10: From The Outside
Fire crackled in the background as Sera curled up on the plush sofa. She stared out the half-frosted windows behind the fireplace while nursing a warm mug of chrysanthemum tea in between her hands. Slowly, she brought the warm tea to her mouth and took a small sip of it. The warm drink went down her throat and she let out a small breath of relief.
She glanced back at the falling snow and froze. A flash of red blinded her for a moment and she could have sworn, she saw blood in the snow. Shutting her eyes, her grip on the mug tightened. She was back home and she was safe, nothing to worry about. She kept reminding herself, focusing on the things she could actually feel, see, hear, smell and touch. This was real. She had won, she survived and she returned. She was home, well, a home.
It had been months since she was back. She managed to keep her promise to her family and be here for both her brother and her cousin's birthday. Nox was going to be a year older now and within days left until his birthday, he started to act more maturely and had started to help around the house even more. Ramiel found it both troubling and endearing. Sera had the same thoughts, unlike Talisssa who was just happy for extra help.
That aside, her family had moved in time, just before winter had completely engulfed the district. They were all quite fortunate enough, any later and her aunt would have struggled against the bitter chill. The home she was assigned to in the Victors' Village was in her opinion one of the nicest houses she had seen. It was actually more of a manor than a house. The house was opposite the Foret house with a backyard facing a lake, appropriately named Lake Nike.
Sera's new home was between two other houses that were empty. Unlike Sera's childhood home, the new house was not a concrete shell. The exterior was a mix of wood, metal and concrete. The floors inside were polished wood, a sharp contrast from the uneven concrete floors of their childhood home. Still she missed that concrete shell, maybe it was nostalgia that made her miss it more.
Houses in the Victors' Village were nearly identical. Each house or manor was fenced off with ample room in the front for lawn arrangements. There were also light posts strewn across the village and built-in floor lights dotted alongside the roads and path in the Victors' Village that would turn on when the sun set. It was a stunning place to live in, very different from the concrete shells of the Hollow or the glistening towers of the Lux which looked cold from the distance. The Victors' Village had the perfect façade of being welcoming and warm. Inside the village was a whole different story. Victors that lived there, lived like hermits or in constant discord among themselves.
The village was sparsely habited. Wells lived further into the village, on the opposite of Lake Nike while Leora's house was next to Huxley. She hardly when she was home but Sera had spotted her old mentor Wells coming in and out of the house now and then. She would also hear the sound of distant arguments that she and the rest of her family did their best to ignore. Porter's house was nearby but she didn't know which one it was. She didn't really care. There was also another victor that lived nearby, he was older but more quieter than the rest. Nobody hardly saw him, he preferred to keep to himself. He might've had a family. She believed he did or maybe she imagined the light jovial chatter from that house and the sound of children laughing.
That man, Uriel as Emilia had introduced him as, liked to keep his distance and Sera understood him completely. If Huxley wasn't her childhood friend and her sister's future husband, she too would have kept to herself. She knew prior to her win, Huxley and Clarisse almost never stayed in their spacious home in the village. The two preferred to stay at her house, keeping their family company. Clarisse had confessed once that though the house was nice, it was empty and the emptiness had scared her. She didn't quite understand her back then but now that she was in Huxley's position, she finally got what she meant. The emptiness was a little frightening.
It didn't help that her neighbors were so distant. Her new neighbors were welcoming enough but a single look at them and Sera could tell why they preferred to be alone. Most of them were alone. They had no family or friends left and those that did like Estelle and Huxley, preferred the company of family and friends over their fellow victors. However, Porter did try to be welcoming to Sera and her family but Huxley sent her back along with her pumpkin pie that she most likely didn't bake, no doubt it was a product of the Mandel's bakery in Foxhalo.
Sera didn't know why her mentor and childhood friend didn't get along with his own mentor but she trusted his judgment and kept her guard over Porter. There had to be a reason, even if she didn't know it yet. She simply had to trust Huxley. After all, he brought her this far and without his aid, she'd have less luck returning back home.
She checked the clock on the wall again and let out a sigh. Nox would be finished soon. His school day was going to end in an hour. She needed to pick him up since she was the only one available. She was home alone as everyone in her family was busy. Her siblings were at work, Talissa had become even busier than ever since she finished her apprenticeship while her brother, Ramiel was being worked to the bone. It was no surprise there, it was winter, the season when the plants in District 5 were in capacity, working hard to keep the lights on around Panem but most importantly the Capitol and District 1.
Aunt Dahlia was also out, busy at the shop. Her health had improved a little with Sera's return but that was only temporary. Her hair had started to become lighter and thinner with white patches on the sides of her scalp while her eyes had started to become more glazed and foggy. Her vision had dulled a little as a result. She also complained to Sera about backaches that she knew her aunt didn't have before. Her mind was also deteriorating. She tried to be optimistic for her aunt but she was afraid.
It didn't help that her fears were accounted for.
Two nights ago, Sera came home late after closing the shop with Talissa. Ramiel and Nox were already in bed but Talissa had left to meet with Huxley for a moment. Sera had decided to go to bed after cleaning up but before that she wanted to check on her aunt. She expected her aunt to be in bed, sleeping. Her aunt was not sleeping.
Instead, aunt Dahlia sat up straight in the middle of her bed with curtains wide open. Her windows were also open and remnants of a crushed bouquet that she may have been working on were strewn across the floor.
Orange blossoms, petunias, pink camellias, purple hyacinths and pink carnations.
At first, she thought nothing of it and decided to tidy up the untouched and unmarred flowers. It wasn't until she had gathered all the petunias and hyacinths with the camellias and carnations still on the floor, did she realize what her aunt was attempting. She hurriedly picked up the remaining flowers and placed them on the florist bench nearby. She surveyed the flowers on her own.
Fairly ordinary flowers. Pretty flowers that had been prepped ahead of time to become a part of something even more beautiful. Yet the flowers meant something.
Orange blossoms. Eternal Love.
Pink camellias. Longing For You.
Another fairly normal meaning.
Pink carnations. 'I'll never forget you'.
Petunia. Resentment or Anger.
Purple hyacinths. Sorrow or 'Forgive me' .
"Aunt Dahlia, did someone order a custom bouquet?" Sera stepped away from the bench and walked straight in front of her aunt, blocking her view.
Her aunt ignored her and stared right through her. It was as if Sera wasn't even there. Her eyes were glazed over, her face flushed and tears stained her sunken cheeks but oddly enough there was a blissful smile on her face. Sera reached out for her aunt and gently shook her. Still, her aunt stayed in her daydream. She suddenly laughed before covering her mouth with her reddened scared hands.
Sera drew back and tried to reach out to her aunt again. This time, her aunt's soft laughter turned to sobs as tears rolled down her face while she muttered something under her breath.
"Aunt Dahlia!" Sera shouted, grabbing her aunt by her shoulders and shaking her.
Aunt Dahlia jumped and blinked rapidly. Her breaths were uneven while her eyes were red and wild. When she noticed her youngest niece in the room, she slipped on a mask and smiled brightly at her. "Seraphine, you're back." She attempted to get up but Sera gestured her to sit back down before moving to pour her aunt a glass of water.
Her voice was hoarse and her lips were dry like she had not had a drink of water in a while. Carefully, she passed the glass of water to her aunt who with shaky hands accepted the drink. The two didn't speak much after that. Aunt Dahlia never brought it up either. The next day, her aunt acted as if nothing had happened and she was perfectly fine. Sera knew better.
Aunt Dahlia was not fine.
Sera let her sister and brother know. Nox would be told after his birthday, a few weeks after. That was decided by Talissa. She always made the big decisions as the oldest among the three. Ramiel argued against it and thought that Nox deserved to know at the same time as they did, Sera agreed, though she didn't voice her agreements out loud. There was no point. Talissa would have the last say anyway, she was the most stubborn out of the three. But Nox deserved to know, it was his mother and the Reza siblings were even younger when they learned that they would be losing their own mother.
As those grim thoughts made home in her mind, Sera dug her nails into the palms of her hands. The pain from that distracted her a little but she knew if her brother or sister saw any remaining nail marks or any scars, they would be concerned so she relaxed and got up. She needed to clear her mind another way.
Taking a walk outside would be a good way to take her mind off things and it was almost time to pick up Nox. Sera finished her tea that had gone almost cold and took the empty cup into the kitchen. The kitchen was larger than her childhood home and she was convinced the kitchen itself could fit the entirety of her childhome. The kitchen came with dining space as well.
There was a separate dining room but no one really used it. Aunt Dahlia would occasionally place her unsold orders in that room, which were usually one or two bouquets. Those unsold bouquets or floral arrangements would decorate the long table that occupied the room. Those flowers along with the table and chairs were the only things that ever stayed in that room. Even when Huxley and Clarisse came over for any meals, they would have it at the kitchen's dining table after all they were family to Sera.
Sera walked over to the sink and carefully washed the cup, first making sure to discard the dried chrysanthemum flowers left in the cup. She left it to dry in the drying rack and dried her hands, checking the time again, in between. It was almost time. She headed towards the door and slipped on her new winter coat that her aunt had forced her to buy and wrapped her sister's old scarf around her neck before checking herself in the mirror and then slipping on her boots. She looked warm enough and felt warm enough, Talissa wouldn't complain if she met her on the street.
Closing the front door behind her, Sera locked the door. She knew no one would dare enter her house without permission. The victors kept to themselves and they all seemed far too busy with themselves to resort to something as breaking and entering or theft. They wouldn't even interact with each other.
That's what she thought.
"Aren't you tired? Because I am. I'm so sick and tired of you acting like you care, like you're better than us—making me feel horrible about myself. This is your fault!" Sera heard Leora shout. "It's sickening to see you act like you're innocent..."
"Leora, please." Porter sounded desperate and tired. "I had my reasons—just please listen—"
"I don't care—nobody does!" Leora's voice echoed throughout the neighborhood and Sera flinched back at the bite in Leora's voice. She tried to slowly make her way to the front yard and wanted to sneak past the two.
"L-Leora, stop it." A third voice joined into the argument. From the way he slurred his words, Sera could easily recognize him better.
"Get your hands off of me, Wells."
"T-then stop moving...around so much. You know exactly what'll h-happen to us...if one hair on her gets touched."
"Right, 'cause she's soo much more important than us. We're nothing compared to her."
"I've heard enough." Porter attempted to walk away from the argument and go back to her home but Leora rushed her and grabbed her hand. "Let go of me, Leora!" She tried to pry Leora's hands off of her but Leora wouldn't budge. "Fine! You want to know why I did it. I did it because I had to. Look at me! I'm stuck like this while the rest of you are fine! It's not fair! None of you will...ever understand me—I'm not taking back what I did or am apologizing to you all about it."
Leora let out a menacing laugh and let go of Porter's hands. Porter, thinking she was free, turned her back on Leora and started to walk back to her house while muttering something under her breath. While Porter had her back turned, Leora ran up to her and grabbed her by her hair which got caught in Porter's neck brace. Porter screamed out in shock and pain while Leora angrily tried to pull at the older victor.
"Julian! Stop her! You filthy—"
"Shut up!"
Wells rushed to stop the two women from fighting before the Peacekeepers arrived and witnessed it. Even though they were victors, they were not above the laws that was set by the Capitol.
Sera watched them carefully from where she stood underneath a tree near the front yard of her new home. She had enough of seeing the two fight and she was running late, so she tried to get past the three without making much noise but unfortunately, luck wasn't on her side. She accidentally kicked a pebble onto Porter's property and it hit one of the spotlights nearby. The pebble hit the metal casing of the light with a quiet clang that wasn't missed by either of the three victors.
The three immediately stopped fighting once they spotted her trying to leave. In her mind, Sera begged them to ignore and let her go. She didn't want to intervene or even be there. She was simply passing through. A part of her was curious about the conflict between all the victors and Porter but she didn't want her curiosity sated at the expense of her peace of mind.
"Seraphine…" Porter called out while Sera acted like she didn't hear her. Leora must have said something before Wells intervened again before drunkenly dragging Leora off. She heard someone hurry behind her and try to grab her again but she started walking even faster, being thankful for the snow for slowing down the person behind her.
There must have been a reason for the other victors treating Porter that way. Whatever it was, Sera didn't want to get in between.
She walked through the arched gateway of the village and started trekking towards the school grounds. It was going to be a long walk.
She blew into her gloved hands before rubbing the two together while pacing onwards. The Victors' Village was long behind her now. She had just passed the dried and snow-covered sunflower fields that were also home to several solar panel farms. The gates leading to the fields were locked and a large metal chain was wrapped around the lock, preventing vandals from trashing the solar panels. She knew no one would do that as the punishment was not worth the trouble.
She tightened her scarf and slipped her hands into her pocket. Snow crackled underneath her boots while faint chatters from the Foxhalo echoed in the distance. She craned her head towards the path leading to the Foxhalo and saw a small gathering forming as adults and younger children whose school hours had already finished walked towards the center. They always congregated near the center of District 5 at these times.
She craned her head towards the opposite end of the Foxhalo and could faintly see through the snowy white fog to the path leading to the Lux. The upper class neighborhood was shrouded in fog but she could see glimmering towers and apartment buildings from where she stood. It was the furthest away from all the plants, even the solar and wind farms. It was also the place along with Foxhalo and the different power plants where Peacekeepers would patrol the most.
When Sera was younger, she remembered how she and her cousin would envision themselves living at the Lux one day. The two always wanted a place among the glittering towers like any children from the Slog or the Hollow. No one ever envisioned themselves in the Victors' Village. No matter how nice the houses there were. The warm and nice houses were merely a façade for the ugliness of the games.
She stopped when she came to the gates of the school. It was really a set of three buildings separated by fences. The furthest building was painted in a faded sunshine yellow with a concrete and glass fence between the building next to it. It was where most of the younger ones studied and the next building was for those that were seven to fourteen, it was the largest. While the building next to it was for children fourteen to eighteen. It was smaller than the other two and more emptier too.
Most of the older students from the Hollow or Slog were already in various apprenticeships or already in jobs. The only students that regularly went to school at that age were the ones from Lux. Sera was also meant to have a more regular appearance at the school but there was no point. She'd rather help out at home or the shop than sit in a classroom full of people who barely knew or liked her. Her games didn't exactly help her popularity among her peers.
It wasn't the only reason she avoided school. One of the big reasons was that she didn't really have many friends. Clarisse was one of them but she was a year younger. There were two or three more but like most of her friends from her childhood, she grew apart from them when her illness got the worst of her and put her in bed for most of the time growing up.
It wasn't until months before the reaping for the 68th Hunger Games that she started to recover. How ironic. She gained hope to live only for it to be snatched away again when her name was called. She laughed sadly and leaned next to the gates, staring at the snow-covered trees.
The other reason for avoiding school was a fairly new one and it was to avoid Gen—Eugene's brother. She didn't know his brother's name or what class he might be assigned to but from what she remembered, his brother was her age and from the way Eugene spoke, he and his brother knew of her. They were somewhat acquainted with her aunt and Talissa through their frequent visits to the shop.
Maybe it was cowardly of her to avoid him but she couldn't bring herself to meet him. She knew she'd inevitably meet him once the victory tour started to come to an end. She'd meet him then when the tour came to an end and she would have to say words of comfort to Eugene's brother. She still didn't know what to say.
'What could she say to him?'
'Sorry for letting your brother die?'
'Sorry for leaving you without a family?'
Or maybe, she should simply say she forgave Eugene for trying to kill her.
Yes, that would seem comforting but it wasn't something she could say with ease. She didn't forgive him at all. She was sorry for surviving and leaving Eugene's brother without a family but she was not going to forgive Eugene for attempting to kill her in her sleep. If Eugene had turned against her in the typical way most tributes do to their district partner, maybe then Sera wouldn't have taken his sudden turn so personally.
However, he didn't.
He destroyed the hard-earned sponsored medicine that Huxley had to work hard to get her and then woke her up just to kill her. If she had to choose how to die, she would have preferred to die in her sleep like she always thought she would, like Jenny had died. No, he had to wake her up and make her feel the fear of death. He had to be so cruel. If only he showed her some kindness then. He showed her none, even though, all throughout the games, she had been kind and honest to him the most out of all her allies. How did he treat her? Like dirt.
Still, she couldn't hold her guilt and grudge over Eugene's brother. He was innocent and he didn't deserve to inherit those feelings. If she had to meet him, she'd do so. Do her part as the victor and move on. She made herself a promise, standing there in the cold that she wouldn't even look at Eugene's brother but to make up for his loss, she would donate a portion of her winnings to him. Eugene was from the lower ends of the Hollow, barely getting by but they were fortunate to own their house rather than rent. That was what he had told her.
A portion of her winnings would not bring Eugene back but it would aid his brother in surviving by himself. She also decided to give a portion to Gaius, Jenny, Ripley, Acadia, Thyme and the two tributes of 12 to show her appreciation of her allies. Without them she would not have won. They were truly kind and gullible. Still, she should honor their memories and besides her winnings were enough to last her two lifetimes. She had the shop and a family. Some of her allies didn't have that either.
"Is that her?" Sera heard someone whisper nearby. "That's her, isn't it?" It was then that she realized that the school had ended and the children were rushing out of the buildings. "That is her. She looks so different—" The younger ones were picked up by some of their families while the older ones gathered in small groups and started to leave the school together. "Seraphine Reza…"
She ignored the whisperings and pretended like she didn't hear them as she pulled on her hood. From underneath the hood, she could see the stares of the different people around her. Some looked at her with adoration like those in the Capitol. Some were disgusted. That was funny. She was one of the few victors with the least kills in the history of the games but a killer was a killer. Others looked at her with pity. Of course, they knew her as the girl with a time limit on her life. Of course, they would pity her.
"Seraphine Reza." She visibly flinched when she heard that voice call her name. Anyone but him. "Seraphine." A second voice called out to her. She hated it. "Are you gonna ignore us?" Another high-pitched voice joined in. "She thinks she's too good for us." The third voice added.
Reluctantly, she looked at them and sighed. She didn't have time for them. Them, being the trio that always used to pick on her when she was younger.
A blonde girl took a step forward. "Don't tell me you forgot all 'bout your 'best friends'?"
"Come on, Ira. Let it go." A thin girl with mousy brown hair and a plain face pulled at her friend's sleeve while looking at Sera apologetically. She was such a hypocrite. She was the one who brought attention to her in the first place yet here she was acting like she wasn't involved and was better than her friends. "Anton, say something." She nudged the boy with the dark hair and red coat forward to 'stop' their friend before she created a scene.
"Get off of me, Mirri and don't tell me what to do." Anton pulled his arm back and glared harshly at the small girl who shrunk back under his gaze. She looked pathetic. She half-expected Mirri to say something back but knowing Mirri, she wouldn't and she didn't.
"Looks like Seraphine really did forget about us." He turned back to her and looked down at her. "And look, she's still wearing that ratty old scarf."
Sera clenched her fists tight. This was her sister's scarf, which their mother had knitted for her. Her hand reached up to her scarf and grabbed it. There was no saying what these three would do. Her other hand was itching to reach for a blade but she had none on her. Instead, she looked up blankly at Ira.
The long-face girl with blonde curls and green eyes stared back at her with a mocking smile. She was from the Lux and one look at her, Sera could tell while Mirri was from the Hollow, her wheat colored hair and tan skin were enough proof. Anton was also from the Lux. His red coat stood out against Mirri's shabby hand-me-down faded pink coat.
"Aw. Is little Swephine going to cry?" Ira mocked.
A dark fog covered Sera's eyes for a second before she saw a shadow in the corner of her eye. One look at the shadow awakened a blood thirst that she didn't know she had. She wanted to rip Ira's throat out. There was a voice in her head egging her on but she held herself back, digging her nails onto the palms of her hand while she smiled.
"It's nice to see you again, Ira and I see Anton and Mirri—" She gestured to the small girl behind the large boy. "—and you are all still very good friends. Anton and you, especially. You two really have a bond." She laughed coyly while sparing a glance at Anton who looked at Ira with a clear look of adoration. Oh, he still liked her. How adorable. If only he wasn't so rude. "I bet you know everything about each other, even about—" She pretended to look sideways before leaning on the trio. "Oran."
"Oran?" Anton repeated that name. "What about Oran?" He looked at the two girls, confused. A blush appeared on Ira's face that had not gone unnoticed by Anton whose face scrunched up and his eyes narrowed into a glare. "Ira?"
"Hmm. Yes." Ira shyly answered before she coughed and repeated what she had said earlier.
Sera's words had gotten to them. While Anton and Ira were busy with each other, Mirri had parted from them and was trying to silently catch Sera's eyes. "What about Oran?" Anton repeated again, cutting Mirri's attempts off.
"Oh it's just, he came into the shop the other day. He bought a bouquet. It wasn't anything large or anything but it was sweet. The meaning of the flowers he chose were sweet. He only chose two, for obvious reasons." Anton and Ira nodded. They knew Oran wasn't that well off, his family was barely scraping by. They only started to prosper recently with Oran's apprenticeship at Hadrian 3 plant. "He chose daisies which stand for loyal love and forgive-me-nots for memories and true love…"
"True love…" Mirri echoed quietly. Her face flushed and her eyes wide while a soft smile graced her face.
Sera nodded. "You must have been very happy to receive those flowers, Mirri."
"What!" Ira's head snapped towards her friend. "Is this true? Did Oran give you flowers? You—"
"She's lying. He would never." Mirri tried to argue back but Anton stepped between the girls and pulled them apart before they started a fight.
Sera stared at them boredly while they argued back and forth. It would've been entertaining for them to fight but Anton just had to get in the way. She never did like him. He was decent on his own but his childish feelings towards Ira made him irritating to be around. On the other hand, Mirri was forgettable. Sera had to always remind herself who Mirri was whenever she saw that girl.
On her own, she was kind and talkative and would always bring up their past one-time friendship that Mirri discarded in favor of Ira and Anton. It didn't help her much. One look at the small girl told her enough. Their 'friendship' had reduced the once talkative and confident person into a meek and quiet girl. She looked pathetic in Sera's eyes.
"Ira, calm down." Anton grabbed Ira by her thin arms and made her face him while looking into her eyes. "Ignore Seraphine. Let's get out of here."
But Ira being Ira, a suffocatingly prideful girl, she slapped Anton's hand away. "No!" She glared hard at Sera. Her face red with anger while Mirri took that time to duck behind Anton. She felt bad for lying about Oran for a brief second but Mirri was annoying. "Look at her, standing there all smug and and…" She seemed to lose the words but instead of letting it go, she growled. Mirri flinched back as did Sera. "You think you're better than us because you're a victor now? You just got lucky."
No, she didn't. If anything, she always felt sick after her win, even more than usual. Her eyes darkened and she started to slowly walk over to Ira. Her mind had gone blank. With a smile plastered on her face, she placed a hand on Ira's shoulder. She flinched.
"Ira." Sera grinned mockingly while sparing a glance at Anton whose face had drained of color. "Are you—jealous?" She innocently asked.
"What? No? I would never." She sputtered out in response like a broken clock. "Why would I—" Anton and Mirri stared at her along with some passersby. Under the weight of the stares, she shrunk back. "I…"
"Ira's jealous of Seraphine." Someone in the crowd whispered.
"I'm not!" Ira yelled out.
A light grin appeared on Sera's face as her eyes gleamed with mischief. She cupped her mouth while feigning to be taken aback by everything. Ira was cornered now. All Sera had to do was give a little nudge to the crowd and Ira would break into a fit of tears. Sera had never seen Ira cry and she wondered what it would be like but before she could do anything, a voice interrupted Ira.
"If you wanted to be the victor so badly Ira then maybe you should have volunteered." A voice interrupted Ira whose red face looked ready to explode. Everyone around them turned to glance around as whispers and murmurs followed her. A few Peacekeepers spotted the commotion and were headed their way. Sensing their arrival, the crowd started to disperse while Ira stood there, embarrassed even though Anton was pulling at her wrist, trying to get her away before the Peacekeepers arrived.
Poor Ira.
It really wasn't her day. She huffed and puffed before she turned her cheek and started to walk away. A shame, she and Mirri didn't fight. Sera was sad she didn't witness that. She now had to thank the boy who interrupted Ira. The boy stood near the gate looking at Ira and her friends with an amused smile before turning to Sera.
"You didn't have to do that." Sera stated, crossing her arms across her chest.
"You're welcome."
The tall and lanky boy said. Sera couldn't help but notice that his eyes were almost hollow sockets and his face that looked caved in. He must have been from the Slog. His skin was tan as well and he had dark curls which contrasted against his pale eyes. His pale blue eyes made him appear blind and she almost thought he was, had he not caught a small ball that almost hit him with ease before throwing it back.
"Congrats, by the way, though you're probably sick of hearing that." The boy grinned down at her.
"I can't say I am not but I can't say I am." She admitted, tiredly. "Thank you, anyways."
Before she could ask for the boy's name. She was tackled into a hug by two people. "Sera!" A girl cried out while squeezing her tight. "Seraphine!" A boy cried out as well. While she was held down, the other boy that had interrupted Ira had long disappeared into the crowd.
"Cyrus. Cyrus! You're pulling my hair." Sera cried out, trying to free herself. The boy jumped back and apologized.
"You idiot!" The girl smacked Cyrus' arm and pulled it away. She had a bright smile on her face and she looked genuinely happy to Sera again. "You cut your hair." She pointed at her hair. "Aw I liked your long hair."
"Idiot." Cyrus laughed. "Sera probably had it cut off to move around easier. Right?"
"Yeah." Sera nodded. "How'd you—"
"I know you." He replied with a grin. "You're always so practical, more practical than Ayla the idiot." He added and then flicked Ayla's head. She flinched back and grabbed her forehead in pain, glaring at Cyrus.
"So how have you two been?" Sera asked with an awkward smile. She took a step back from the two and looked at her childhood friends that she hadn't really spoken to in two or three years.
"How have we been?" Ayla echoed her question while bringing her braided hair over her shoulder.
Her dark brown hair was braided with an old sky blue ribbon that snaked between her dark tresses and wrapped around her head. It suited her.
"Well, the usual. My mother's got a new job. She got an admin job at the Justice Building. My brother's still working in Coriolanus 9 and I don't really think you care 'bout school, now do you?" Sera shook her head. "Thought so."
When Ayla finished, Cyrus took over.
"I'm still the same. My father's moved to one of the wind farms. It's tiring. He comes home late every night, and it doesn't help that it's winter." He sighed and took off his hat to tousle his dark hair before putting his hat back on. "Oh. Wait. I actually remembered, I got an apprenticeship at Hadrian 3."
"Congratulations." Sera clapped excitedly and Ayla mimicked her.
"Thank you. Thank you." Cyrus pretended to bow. "Your brother was actually part of the welcoming group."
"My brother's doing an apprenticeship at Clemensia 2, not Hadrian 3."
Ayla made a noise and stepped forward. "I've heard Hadrian 3 is very short-staffed right now."
"Yeah, it is. Almost everyone from Hadrian 3 moved to another plant in the outskirts of our district, near the foot of the mountain." Cyrus answered.
"Wait." Sera grabbed Cyrus' arm and stopped him. Cyrus paused and raised a brow in question. "Isn't that the site of the abandoned plant Nero?" She let go and stepped back, quickly reverting back to her usual detached self. Nero was a sensitive subject for her.
Cyrus' face softened as did Ayla's. The two looked at each other and then at Sera before nodding. "You didn't hear?" Ayla asked, walking towards Sera and pulling Cyrus in.
"Hear what?"
"That Nero was getting ready for service again." Cyrus answered, huddling closer to the girls.
"Where did you hear that from?"
Cyrus sighed and shared a look with Ayla. "No where. You didn't hear it from me either, promise you won't tell anyone." He looked at the girls and girls nodded but not before Ayla rolled her eyes.
"Oran already knows." She snapped quietly.
"Yeah but Oran is Oran. I told him. He's one of us."
At Cyrus' words, Sera felt a little uncomfortable. She didn't know how to feel about that. She felt as if she didn't belong in that group anymore.
"Cyrus are you going to finish or—" Sera attempted to change the subject and Cyrus nodded. He cut her off as he dragged the three of them nearby a tree and stopped.
"Okay, so I mentioned my apprenticeship at Hadrian 3." The girls nodded. "So I was working at the plant the other day when I heard one of the Peacekeepers mention—"
"Ayla, Cyrus, there you two are." The loud but tired voice of another called out to Sera's two childhood friends, cutting off Cyrus.
"Oran." Ayla hissed back. "In the middle of something."
Oran jumped back, his dark braids swayed in the wind as he leaned back and put up his hands in defense. "Didn't notice that, sorry. Hey, Sera." He greeted Sera nonchalantly as if she hadn't spoken to the group in two years collectively but she had kept in touch with Oran who frequently visited the shop. He joined in on the circle without another word.
"As I was sayin' before I was interrupted." Cyrus mock glared at Oran before carrying on. "I was working one of my shifts and my mentor and manager took a break so I thought—I should take a break too—"
"Get to the point." Oran boredly stated as Ayla flashed him a grateful smile.
"Getting there. Anyways. I took a break and decided to go for a walk. On my way back from my break, I saw a bunch of Peacekeepers and those scientists from the Capitol. These Peacekeepers and scientists were all gathered 'round one another and too busy to notice me, so I snuck a little closer to them and that's when I heard it." The three of his audience hunched closer. "They said 'Nero, previously decommissioned, is to be reinstated for a trial period in winter post-68th Hunger Games' and then a bunch of them started to argue but the scientists were very clear it was a trial."
"You didn't mention the trial part."
"Because I forgot. You know I forget things a lot."
Sera stumbled back and was instantly lost in her thoughts.
Nero.
It was the plant where her father worked before his death. The first of its kind and was built to the furthest distance away from the District. A rail track was set just for workers to commute back and forth from there. It sounded like an ideal place to work at and she vaguely remembered it was.
Her father would come home earlier than other plant workers and she remembered how he would praise the then-new Nero plant and how different it was from the other plants. He never went into specifics. Though, now, she wished he had because she and her siblings were left with so many unanswered questions that they would never find the answers to.
'Fire of Nero' was an event no one in District 5 could forget.
Her father went to work one day and never returned. Neither did Huxley's father or Cyrus' mother, so many lives had been lost that day and days that followed. Sera's mother along with a few healers and chemists were called in to make up for a lack of healers and physicians. There were also the firefighters and volunteers who helped to put out the fire. So many of those also died or died in the days and years that followed. Those who survived became bedridden or chronically ill like Oran's father.
Sera's eyes wandered over to Oran who had grown quiet while Ayla and Cyrus bickered among themselves. His face had darkened as he stared at the floor. Carefully, she tapped his shoulder and gave him a comforting smile. The two could relate with each other.
Nero was a touchy subject for the whole district but for her and Oran it was a different type of hurt. While Cyrus lost his mother in the fire, she and Oran had to watch their surviving parents deteriorate in front of their eyes. Her mother eventually succumbed to the aftermath but Oran's father held on and was now bedridden for the most part.
"Oran." She softly called out. "Do you need more of the—" Oran nodded once and she understood. "I'll get a tub of the ointment and some painkillers from Talissa, come around the shop this week sometime."
"Thank you." Oran sighed and looked at their two bickering friends. Ayla was the only one in their little group who was fortunate enough to be spared from that tragedy. Still she was quick to sympathize with her friends. "How are you?"
"Coping." She took a step back and looked around for a sign of Nox. He was still not here. Her movement did not go unnoticed by Oran who took a step towards her. She was putting distance between the three of them again. "How are you?"
"Coping." Oran echoed her response. "Are you okay? I heard you had improved a lot by the time of the reaping and then—"
"And then my name was called out. I was almost choked to death by my partner and also I had a breakdown. As I said, I'm coping."
Oran gave her a humorless smile and shook his head. "I'm sorry for asking. It's just we're all—"
"Worried?" She looked away and stared at the gates of the school. "I appreciate it, I really do, Oran. You're the only one who actually tried their best to keep up with me."
"You need to understand that Ayla and Cyrus. They tried. They really did. Cyrus' family was struggling when you collapsed and Ayla's oldest sister died."
Cyrus and Ayla had stopped their bickering. The two shifted their gaze back to Sera and Oran. They must have overheard bits and pieces of the conversation. Ayla's face shifted. "Look, we're really sorry for not being there for you. I know we haven't talked, like really talked in four or five years and saying 'hello' once or twice in the year is not the same but I tried, I really tried, so did Cyrus." She cried out.
"I know." She patted Ayla's arm comfortingly but did not look at her. "I don't blame any of you. I'm not bitter either. I know it was bad timing for everyone. Also I'm sorry about your sister."
"Sera…"
"Thank you for looking out for me but things are different now. I don't know how different they'll be in the future but—"
"We're here for you whenever you need us." Cyrus said. He sadly smiled at her. His eyes were a little teary but he understood where she was coming from. Things had changed a lot in the past few years and Sera's reaping didn't help at all.
Sera nodded awkwardly. Her friends really meant what they said and she could tell but somehow she didn't know if she could take up on their offer. She was never the type to trust easily.
"So…do you all think that they're gonna announce the reinstatement of Nero." Ayla carefully asked, trying to change the subject.
Cyrus looked at her and blinked in disbelief while Oran chuckled. "Sure, if they want a mass riot in Five." He quietly joked with a bitter smile. "I'm sure they haven't forgotten about the 'Fire of Nero'."
"Yeah, they're not stupid." Oran agreed.
Sera took a few steps back and prepared herself to bid them goodbye for the day, knowing that the next time they would speak would be at the next reaping. They always did. Reaping day was also used to catch up with her friends and after that she hardly spoke to any of them. They were all busy and now, she had no intention of spending time with them anymore. She could hardly trust herself around people, not without her mind playing tricks with her.
Thankfully, it was then that Nox had come out of his school building. He waved goodbye at his friends before he ran over to Sera, stopping behind her to give her some space. Her friends waved at Nox with friendly smiles and attempted to make small talk but Nox was never the one for small talk. Ayla looked visibly frustrated while Cyrus and Oran were amused at the interaction.
"Well, I'll see you all around." She grabbed her cousin's hand and waved at her friends.
Her friends waved back before going their own separate ways. Ayla and Oran headed down the path to the Slog while Cyrus left for Foxhalo to run some errands. He would eventually go back home to the Hollow before going to Hadrian 3 for his shift.
Nero stayed on her mind. It didn't leave as Nox made conversation with her and filled her in on his day. She half-attempted to reply but Nox could tell there was something on her mind. He tried something else to get her mind off Nero. It clearly didn't work and she was left thinking about that plant for the rest of the week, leading up to Nox's birthday.
Sera's home in the Victors' Village was lively that night. Sounds of pots clanging and laughter echoed through the house. All the lights were turned and the mostly unused dining room had been decorated by Clarisse and Talissa. It was a special night for the family and they had a reason to celebrate.
It was Nox's birthday.
Light ambient music played through the radio as Ramiel hummed the tune under his breath while stirring a pot of rabbit stew. Next to him, Sera was busy chopping up some vegetables that were going to be sautéed. The two worked quietly to prepare the meal for the night.
Aunt Dahlia had already made the cake with some difficulty but she insisted. Talissa was left in charge of decorating the cake. She had the cake on a makeshift cake stand, toppings and a bag of cream cheese icing were set aside on the table next to the cake. She was deep in concentration, trying to place a sugared violet on top of a swirl of icing. Her tongue was sticking out in concentration as she tried to center the last of the flowers before finally she was done.
The cake had blackberry icing on it that spelled out Nox's name and a message wishing him a very happy birthday. The message was surrounded by swirls of cream cheese icing and sugared violets and nuts. Talissa might not have been the best cook but she was a good cake decorator and baker. She would have made Nox's cake too if aunt Dahlia didn't insist on making the cake.
"Anything interesting happened lately?" Huxley asked as he decided to help set the table. He walked over to the cabinet where all dishes and cutlery were kept, almost all of them were unused and in pristine condition.
Talissa took off her apron and walked to him. She passed him the glasses and he placed them on the counter, checking for any dirt but still wiping them anyway. "Nothing much." Talissa answered. "I was at the shop all day." She paused before sighing. "This is a little stupid but I was thinking of studying to become a physician. I know. I know, I did a five year apprenticeship to be a chemist but I don't know, it's not enough."
"Not a bad idea." Ramiel chimed in and Sera handed him a teaspoon of salt that he paused to taste, making sure it was salt before adding it into the pot. "You can fast track the training, you know the basics already."
"I agree." Huxley added. "It'd help everyone and I know you've been really bored lately."
"I haven't been that bored."
Sera chuckled. "You asked me to teach you how to make a rose floral arrangement today." She pointed out while turning around to lean on the counter. Her brother snickered.
"So?" Talissa countered. "I wanted to learn in case…you or aunt Talissa weren't there and someone ordered...a rose bouquet or arrangement."
Sera looked unconvinced. "You hate roses because they have thorns and you're pretty sensitive about them. You call them the 'cursed flowers that should have never existed' and 'should be burned'. She shook her head while checking on the rice. "You even hate the smell of them."
Huxley dropped a knife on the floor as he quickly moved to cover his mouth before he started to laugh. He recovered within moments and then acted as if nothing had happened while Talissa looked on blankly. She pursed her lips and glared playfully at Huxley before turning to her brother and sister. "What about you Miel? Sera? Anything interesting happened lately?"
Ramiel and Sera shared a look as she nudged her older brother to go first. She decided to check on the rice while the stew was cooking. "I was offered to be transferred recently."
"Hadrian 3?" Sera questioned quietly. Oran and Cyrus' words swirled in her head.
Nero was really being reinstated and the people of 5 didn't even know. She wondered if the people in charge ever cared for the disaster that occurred there last time. All the lives that were lost.
Did they care?
Of course not, most of them were from the Capitol. They had the privilege of attending University and studying for their position. A powerful family and wealth backing them. They would not know or feel the loss. They would never care and those that did care would not speak up.
Why would they?
There was no point. And those that did speak up would need to prepare themselves for punishment greater than the crime. That was how things worked in Panem.
"Yeah, how did you—"
"I heard they were short-staffed." She turned her back to the group and carried on mixing the pot.
Ramiel looked suspiciously at Sera. He had this little thought in his mind that his little sister knew more than she let on but it was him who told her not to trust so easily. He respected that she listened to him but he couldn't help but be curious. She knew something. Something big. He didn't question her and carried on.
"Hadrian 3 is short-staffed. I was even asked to be part of the welcoming crew over there. I had to help the new apprentices settle in before I could move back so they offered me a permanent transfer of apprenticeship."
"What did you say?" Talissa hoped he would say no. Hadrian 3 held some memories for their family and she would prefer to avoid that particular plant whenever possible.
"No. Obviously, I don't want to work in Hadrian 3. They're short-staffed, that means I'll have to work more and harder. Not worth the effort."
"Hadrian 3 is probably going to be shut down." Huxley quietly stated while stacking plates.
"What makes you say that?"
"All their experienced staff are being transferred elsewhere."
"Yeah, but Hadrian 3 is one of the oldest plants in our district."
"That never stopped them."
Huxley was right, of course but Ramiel was more stubborn. He'd like to believe that the plant that their father worked out before Nero would always stay the same but time was never kind to anyone or anything.
Hadrian 3 was not an exception. If that plant was to shut down, she would understand. It was one of the oldest plants in their district. It was very unsafe to work there now and she didn't wish anything bad to take place there. Nero was unpleasant and she would hate to see it repeated on a different plant.
Glancing at her siblings and her former mentor, she wanted to tell them about the reinstatement of Nero. At the same time, she knew she couldn't. She promised Cyrus. Her brother had also told her to trust carefully.
Her gaze wandered over to Talissa who despite the smile on her face looked a little weary and tired. Huxley seemed to do his best in comforting her. He looked a little better than what he looked like in the Capitol while her brother was a ticking time bomb. If she told him about Nero, there was no doubt that he would try to stage a protest.
For someone who liked their peace, Ramiel always acted the opposite of what he said. He would definitely protest. She was sure of it.
A protest was rebellion and rebellion was bad.
It was what was drilled into their heads since they were young by the Capitol. In the end, she decided against telling them.
"Stew's done." Sera announced as her brother finished sautéing the side vegetables. "We should set the table now."
Sera untied her apron and put it away. She grabbed the plate of sautéed vegetables while Ramiel grabbed the stew. The two would come back for the rice and flatbread later.
Talissa and Huxley had already disappeared from the kitchen and were busy with setting up the table. When Sera walked into the room, the two had just finished setting the plates and glasses. Huxley was putting down the cutlery while Talissa was arranging the napkins.
Ramiel placed the pot of stew in the center of the table while she placed the plate of sautéed vegetables next to it. The two went back for the rice, flatbread and the salad. It didn't take long before the table was set and dinner was on the table.
"Aunt Dahlia! Nox! Clarisse! Dinner's ready!" Talissa called out. Aunt Dahlia walked in then with the younger ones behind her.
Talissa held out a seat for aunt Dahlia next to the head of the table which she gracefully took. Nox was ushered to the head of the table. It was his day after all. Huxley moved to hold Talissa's seat out as Ramiel took a seat opposite aunt Dahlia. Sera slid into her seat next to her brother opposite Clarisse. Finally Huxley took his seat in-between his sister and Talissa.
Dinner began and the previously unused dining room became lively as animated chatter filled the air. Even Huxley took part in the conversations. He looked too busy debating something with Sera's brother and sister while Clarisse attempted to include Sera in her and Nox's conversation. She didn't know what to say.
It was about a school trip that Nox had gone on. An annual school trip to the mountains that most Nox's age went on. Almost everyone in that room had been on a trip like that, everyone except Sera. She didn't make it a big deal but instead she tried to let Nox tell details of his trip to Clarisse and her. He liked telling stories.
"Can you plate me more rice, Sorrel?" Laughter faded when aunt Dahlia spoke. Ramiel dropped his napkin onto his lap as he stared at Dahlia with wide eyes. "Is something wrong? I just asked for more rice and Sorrel…" She trailed off, looking around for a sign of 'Sorrel'. When she realized what she had said, she grew quiet. Her eyes were glazed over and hands were shaky.
"What did you just say?" Ramiel asked. His eyes trembled and his hands started to shake.
"I asked for the rice, Tal—" She looked towards an empty and dark corner of the room as if someone was standing there. "Ta—lissa." She quickly corrected herself. She looked around like she had just woken up from a dream. She stopped fidgeting when she met the gaze of her son who looked visibly distressed.
Nox wasn't as naïve as Talissa thought him to be. Sera knew Nox was more observant and smarter than her sister gave him credit for. He knew what was going on. He always did, he just never spoke his thoughts out loud. Though she wished he did. Maybe then Talissa would take their cousin more seriously.
She sighed and glanced at her brother who against his better judgment had decided to probe and prod more into the matter. Sera wanted to do the same but not that night, not on Nox's birthday.
"You said—"
"I asked Seraphine. She was the closest so I thought I would ask her."
She carried on acting as if she had said nothing wrong or concerning. Her hands were shaking and she was deliberately talking louder than her usual tone. To keep up with her, Ramiel had also raised the volume of his voice.
"No, you—"
"Ramiel." Huxley tried to interrupt but Ramiel ignored him and carried on.
He tried again to grab his attention but Clarisse quickly sensed Talissa's growing unease and grabbed her brother's arm, silently telling him to stay out of this. "...Hux, don't." Sera heard Clarisse quietly warn her brother. She was right. If Huxley got involved now, Ramiel would blow up. Her brother had a short fuse but Huxley had more anger in him. Someone had to stop them before it all escalated.
Sensing the growing conflict, Sera dropped the utensils onto her plate loudly, attracting the attention of everyone on the table. The conflict ceased for a moment. Ramiel stared at her, thinking she wanted or needed something. She picked up her napkin and wiped the corners of her mouth before turning to her brother.
"Miel, Can you help me in the kitchen?" She asked, ignoring the conversation from before and changing the topic.
Ramiel opened his mouth to argue back but shut his mouth and got up. One look at his younger sister, he could sense that she was not happy at all and he could guess it had something to do with the way he had reacted earlier. He stacked the empty plates of Huxley and Clarisse while Sera did the same for aunt Dahlia, Talissa and Nox.
"Can I come?" Nox and Clarisse said at the same time. The two looked at each other and laughed awkwardly before looking at Sera and Ramiel.
Ramiel ignored the two and left the dining room while she smiled and shook her head. Disappointed, the two deflated onto their seats. She left without looking back and followed her brother into the kitchen where she found him hunched over the sink.
The plates and utensils were cluttered in the sink with water running on top of them and pooling on the top plate.
Without a word, Sera placed her stack of plates on top of the dishes and gently pushed her brother to the side. She took the cleaning rag for the plates and added some soap before washing the plates. She didn't say anything and acted as if nothing had happened and she was not bothered by her brother's childish behavior earlier.
Ramiel silently took out the cake that was chilling in the freezer.
She placed everything away and helped him get out the dessert bowls. "You noticed it, didn't you?" Ramiel suddenly asked, looking away from Sera.
"Kind of hard not to when you're the only one freakin' out about it."
"She called you by mother's name."
"And she thought our father was in the room before she caught herself and said Talissa's name." Sera replied blankly.
She was focused on the current task of adding birthday candles to the cake. It wasn't like she didn't care but she couldn't do anything about it. She cared more than she let on but she knew what it was like to know when something was deteriorating or decaying. She felt it when she was younger.
"You're not concerned? She's slipping up more often."
"You think I don't care?" Sera hissed out, dropping a candle onto the counter.
"I didn't say that."
"No but I can read between the lines, Miel. I'm not dumb."
"Never said you were." Ramiel picked up the cake and started to walk out the kitchen but Sera stopped him. "It's just you're acting like Lissa, y'know how she is. She acts like nothing is going on but we all know that there's something wrong with aunt Dahlia. You know it as well and usually you're the one backing me up...now you're acting like Lissa. Come on, Sera, we can't just ignore this." She frowned and then sighed. Not that night. She didn't want to argue that night.
"Miel, just for tonight, please don't make a scene. It's Nox's birthday."
Her brother understood then why she was so quiet throughout dinner. She wasn't in denial like Talissa or just a helpless observer like Nox, she just didn't want to ruin the night for all of them. She did prefer to watch before she acted.
Aunt Dahlia was sick.
She knew that well. It was the same sickness that their mother had, after all, mother's first contact after coming back was aunt Dahlia. Talissa believed that mother might have contracted an infectious disease from the victims of Nero's fire. It didn't help that their aunt was later called to aid the effort thanks to her minimal knowledge of medicine but for now, that needed to wait.
"We have cake!" Sera announced, forcing herself to sound joyful. She placed the dessert bowls and spoon on the table while Clarisse passed them around.
Ramiel placed the cake on the center of the table. He took out a matchbox and a match from it before striking the match and lighting a fire. Carefully, he lit each of the candles. When he was done, Talissa got up to turn off the lights.
"Happy Birthday!" Everyone in the room chorused together. "Make a wish!" Aunt Dahlia weakly said to her son.
Nox's face was lit up as bright as the flames of candles. Ramiel handed him the knife to cut the cake. He beamed brightly before squeezing his eyes shut and then opening them to blow out the candles. Applause and cheers followed soon after in the dark. It was almost all black, had it not been for the bright night sky that painted the room in a shade of dark blue. Huxley turned the lights back on soon, erasing the dark blue.
When he opened his eyes, he cut into the cake and handed the knife back to Ramiel.
"What did you wish for?" Clarisse asked, clapping her hands together.
He opened his mouth to reply but Sera stopped her cousin before he could reply. "Nox, remember you can't tell what you wished for," She teased him lightly while leaning back into her seat. It was a little superstition that her father had taught her and apparently it was also a thing in the Capitol.
"Or it won't come true." Ramiel added with a grin.
He cut a few slices of cake and passed it to Nox, aunt Dahlia and Clarisse. Those three had an early bedtime. Aunt Dahlia had an earlier bedtime but Nox and Clarisse were younger than the rest so they were spared from clean up chores. Clarisse was only a year or two younger than Sera.
Ramiel cut a few more slices for himself, Sera, Talissa and Huxley. Talissa cut her piece in half and passed it to Huxley who halved that piece and passed it back to her. Old habits from before that those two had still not shed. It used to be sweet to watch those two act like that but right now, in front of the whole family, Sera just wanted them to eat the cake normally so she could clear up and leave.
"Why don't the two of you stay over for the night." Aunt Dahlia smiled at Huxley and Clarisse. "We have more than enough rooms for you both."
Clarisse jumped at that opportunity and agreed. Talissa looked pleased as well. Ramiel was still concerned about their aunt. She looked weaker as the night rolled on, even more than usual. Her eyes were glazed over while she looked like she was trying hard to keep up with everyone, often asking Talissa to repeat what was said.
It was tragic how they were now better off than they had been before when it came to wealth but otherwise, things were not looking well for Sera's family. She didn't say it out loud in fear of ruining Nox's night. She kept on like she always did. Her eyes wandered around the table as she forked a spoonful of the plain cream cake into her mouth. They all looked happy, almost all of them.
Aunt Dahlia looked distant as if she was saying goodbye. Sera knew that look well. It was a look she often had growing up. Something she could see if she rewatched her games. Aunt Dahlia was not okay. Apart from her eyes being glazed over, she had started to cough more and her hair had turned brittle and thinned.
Sera snuck a glance at Talissa. Her sister was staring at their aunt. Talissa knew what was wrong. It made sense now why she suddenly wanted to go back to studying. It was for aunt Dahlia, not for her.
Sera only had half of her slice before she passed it to Nox. The cake felt too sickly sweet for her. It wasn't that sweet but at that moment, the subtle sweetness of the cream was burning her throat. It didn't help that a dark fog started clouding her vision again.
She clenched her fists, looking down at her lap. Her hands felt cold and her neck felt stiff. She needed some space before she did something she would regret. From across the table, Clarisse quietly questioned her. Sera decided to pretend she was tired. She wasn't. Her mind was elsewhere. She got up and made an excuse that she was tired. Talissa forced her to have her medicine for the night before she went upstairs to be alone.
All the lights in the house and the Victors' Village were turned off. No sound was heard apart from the whistle of the wind and soft snore of Clarisse who slept next to Sera on her bed. Despite the house having multiple spare rooms, Clarisse insisted on sharing a room with Sera. She was fast asleep while Sera just woke up again.
This had been happening more frequently lately for her, waking up in the middle of the night. At first she tried hard to cut this new habit out but she later gave up. It wasn't going anywhere. She turned away from Clarisse and faced the window before shutting her eyes and counting backwards.
No sleep came to her. She tried again and again. Sleep just wouldn't come to her. Finally she gave up and carefully lifted her covers off, not wanting to wake Clarisse up. She got up and stretched a little then headed downstairs. Her sister should have something for sleep that she could take in the kitchen or the pantry.
Quiet footsteps on wood floors echoed through the house as she quietly made her way down the stairs. She was fortunate that the stairs didn't creak. She started going through the pantry.
Her sister had neatly organized the pantry with labeled jars of dry fruits, dried meats and teas. She scanned the pantry and took a step forward. There was a medicinal cabinet here somewhere. She surveyed the room once more before she decided to turn on the lights.
She found the cabinet instantly when she turned the lights on. It was in the corner of the room. Unlike the kitchen cabinets, the medicine cabinet was metal and cold to touch. She reached over and unlocked the cabinet, going through it.
Labeled tins of calendula ointment and cream along with pills made from various ingredients that her sister kept in metal, glass or clay jars alongside fine powders of certain plants and roots. Her sister needed to move these to her office. There was no saying who could get their hands on these laying here.
Her hand hovered over some pills which used valerian root as one of its ingredients. Valerian root was good for sleep but so was lavender and chamomile she thought, glancing at the essential oils off to the side.
The essential oils might disturb Clarisse, she was particularly sensitive to warm floral scents. In the end she decided on the pills and took one out before putting away the jar of pills then locking the cabinet and closing the pantry.
She went to get a glass of water and walked over to the tall glass windows. The windows faced the lake. She was still not used to Lake Nike. The private lake in the Victors' Village that was so different from Lake Leuce where she had spent a fair share of her childhood. Lake Nike was less dangerous and seemed swimmable. It was also an ideal place to fish. However, nobody actually bothered to fish or swim.
Wells and Porter along with Uriel liked to take stroll along the lake every morning. He had a dog, she remembered, and he would always take it out for a walk almost everyday. One time, she even saw some children walking with him. It was nice to see but Uriel kept to himself.
One thing she did realize was that no one swam in that lake. It wasn't like they couldn't. Emilia had told her that the victors can do anything at the village yet nobody swam in the private lake. Maybe because it was winter. It was too cold to swim. That's what she thought. Still, she would like to go for a picnic near the lake. The water looked so still in the light night breeze. In the dark of night, it looked mesmerizing. The way the water reflected the starless cloudy sky was beautiful. It would be nice if it wasn't cold outside, then she'd sit on the deck and watch the lake. It was then that snow had started to fall.
"You're up?" Sera jumped and reached for the nearest object that could be a weapon. As luck would have it, it was a kitchen knife but the voice was quicker. "Hey, hey, relax. It's me." Huxley grabbed her by the shoulders and made her look at him. "It's me, Huxley."
Blinking a few times, she finally managed to make out his face in the dark. She pulled back, letting go of the kitchen-knife. In her haste, she had almost dropped her pill. She turned her back to him and slipped the pill into her mouth, washing it down with some water. It was then that the subtle feeling of guilt took over her mind for split second. She almost stabbed her childhood friend and mentor.
"What was that for?" He leaned over the pantry door before he pulled it open.
"Sleep." Sera answered and walked over to the glass windows. "What're you doing down here at this time?" This pill was starting to take effect. Her mind felt a little lighter.
"Talissa needed something from the pantry."
"Still busy at work."
"You know your sister, you know how she can be."
She nodded. Her sister was worried about her and their aunt. That was the only thing she did lately, worry. But Huxley, her fiancé, looked unphased by it all. He was used to it especially during his games when Talissa broke down crying and pleaded with him to come back alive right before he left for the Capitol. She even gifted him their father's metal band bracelet. One of the few things her sister had inherited from their father after he passed away and the few things they didn't sell.
A flash of silver caught her eye. She spotted that same band on Huxley's wrist. He still had it with him. She smiled looking at the band on his wrist.
Sera pointed to Huxley's wrist. "I'm surprised you still have it." She remarked, leaning back against the glass window.
Huxley paused his searching and looked down at his wrist. He laughed softly and turned back to his task. "Lissa would've killed me if I lost it."
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "She wouldn't."
"I know. Though I do like to imagine that she would."
"Masochist." She muttered under her breath and looked out the window. The lake was still. "Hey," Huxley looked up with a metal in his hand. "Why does Leora hate Porter so much?"
She noticed he stiffened up at her question. His grip on the jar tightened and loosened before he held it close to him. "I don't know and I don't want to know. J-Just stay away from Porter. Don't get too close to her." He was warning her about his own mentor. She was a little taken back. Most victors had a cordial relationship with their mentors but Huxley was an exception it seemed. "Did something happen?" He placed the jar on the counter and went back to the pantry.
She debated telling him about what she witnessed a few weeks back and decided it would be best if he knew. "A few ago, I was leaving to go pick up Nox from school and stumbled on something I maybe shouldn't have seen." Huxley gestured her carry on. "Leora was shouting at Porter, cursing at something about Porter doing something she wasn't supposed to. I didn't get the full picture since they were being so goddamn vague but then Leora attacked Porter before Wells tried to break them up."
"Hmm." Huxley took out a metal container and stood up before locking the pantry. "Did they see you?"
"I think Porter did. She called out to me."
He let out a sharp breath and turned on his feet to stare at Sera. "Stay…away from Porter."
There it was again.
A warning against Porter. There was something about her that nobody was telling her. Leora hated her. Wells was wary of her. Emilia didn't particularly like her either. She went as far as to warn Sera about her, telling her not to accept Porter's kindness or ask for Porter's help or go with her anywhere alone. The last one did raise some alarms in Sera's mind.
What did Emilia mean by that?
Porter was Huxley's mentor. A small part of why Huxley was alive. From what she knew, Porter was a decent mentor. She wasn't absent like Leora, detached like Huxley and she was almost never drunk like Wells who seemed to have made drinking his only trait post-games.
Sera had assumed that Huxley might have respected his mentor a little, maybe even care for her but she was wrong. He didn't care and he knew that there was something wrong.
"Do you know something—"
"No. I don't want to. The more you know—"
"The more dangerous it will be for me. I get it. But aren't you curious about Porter?"
"No. You shouldn't be either."
"I know that but it's interesting."
"There's nothing interesting about a woman who gives anxiety and fear to her former tributes."
Now Sera was interested. Her eyes gleamed with curiosity as she slowly turned to her former mentor. "Are you scared of Porter?"
He shook his head. "Leora and Wells are. I'm sure they have a reason."
"I thought Wells was Leora's mentor." He nodded. "Then how—"
"Leora wanted a little bit more help and Porter offered and then, well something happened."
"Emilia told you this?"
"What do you think?" She let out a sigh and shrugged.
Emilia did seem like the type to gossip but she meant well. She knew the escort had good intentions. Her gossip had saved her life once or twice. If she didn't gossip during the games, she would never have guessed that Thyme and Acadia had something going on between them. Sera was mostly clueless when it came to matters of the heart.
"And Sera," At the call of her name, she glanced at him. "Next time you witness something like that. Don't get involved. Walk away."
"I did."
"I know, I'm just reminding you to—"
"Don't get involved." She finished his sentence and laughed a little. He was a little too overbearing. She understood why. Her victory tour would begin soon and she needed to not stand out. There was an unspoken danger in standing out. "But Hux, what if someone needed help? You want me to stand there and just watch them get hurt or worse, die while I act like a helpless bystander."
"Better to be a bystander than the victim."
"That's not right."
"Go to sleep, Sera." He sounded exhausted and he looked the part too. It was clear to her that he was only awake because of Talissa. When the two were done, they would go to bed. She already knew that the two were going to sleep in till the afternoon next day at this point and made a mental note to put their share of breakfast in the cold storage or a spare container.
Sighing, she turned to the window. It was cool to touch and the glass was half fogged up. Using the sleeve of her night robe, she wiped the fog and peered out. Huxley ignored her and focused on his task. She didn't really mind.
Their conversation was over. She wouldn't get anything out of him and it seemed like he didn't know much either, she suspected it might have something to do with his attitude of knowing less for the better. Besides, if the two carried on this way with their conversation, an argument was bound to erupt. Huxley didn't like to argue and neither did she, unless it was entertaining or if it was the only way to get the information she wanted or needed.
Something caught her eye. A dark silhouette in the distance was dragging themselves over to the lake. Their movement was slow, pained and lethargic. The way they walked seemed familiar. She tried to search her mind for a hint of who that walk reminded her of.
Leora?
Her name popped into Sera's mind and she shoved it to the back. It couldn't be her. She barely left her house.
"Huxley," She called out to her mentor. Huxley stopped in the middle of the kitchen. His hands were full and he was struggling to carry everything. "I think there's someone by the lake."
A second opinion was needed in this case, though Huxley probably wouldn't care. He looked tired enough without her adding more onto his plate.
He exhaled sleepily. "Probably Wells. He likes to drink by the lake." Brushing her off, he went over to the island counter to pick up the containers he left there. Without looking at her, he lifted them up and neatly balanced them. "Go to bed." He sternly looked at her and turned his back to her.
"Hux—" But he was gone.
A lone silhouette of what looked like a woman hobbled over to the edge of the lake on the opposite side. She squinted and tried to get a closer look. It would have been easier for her to go outside onto the backyard and go through the gates leading to the lake front but she didn't want to raise any alarms. Even though Peacekeepers seemed not to patrol the village, she didn't want to take the risk and Peacekeepers were the least of her worries.
There was Porter and Uriel. Two victors she didn't know much about. Uriel kept to himself and might have had a family but Porter was suspicious. Wells was too drunk to function and Leora was an unstable recluse. Sera stood still and kept her gaze on the silhouette who had now bent down.
The silhouette stood up again before dragging themselves over to the lake and jumping in. Sera jumped back and hurried over to the glass doors but stopped. Huxley's warning echoed in her mind.
She couldn't bring herself to move forward, it was like she was frozen on the spot. His words rang through her mind as clear as day and she flinched. He was right. If she acted now, it would be irrational and put her family in danger. She had no choice but to stand, wait and watch.
Bystander .
She moved back to her original spot. Her hand rested on the cold frosted glass. The frost was starting to melt from the warmth of her hand while her breath was starting to fog up the glass. She wiped the fog with her sleeve and leaned in. Maybe that person was going for a swim, she tried to reason with herself. Yes, a swim.
Besides, it wasn't like she could help that person. She had just taken a pill for sleeping. What if she jumped in and the tiredness in her eyes got the best of her? It would weigh her down and she would drown.
Drowning was not something she was keen on.
The feeling of water rushing to her lungs as she struggled to breathe against the cold blue water while sinking to the bottom. The pull of the cold water as it wrapped around her body and dragged her under as fishes and other creatures swam past her, stopping to bite her, thinking she's their next meal.
There was also the time to think about, the time it would take for her to die under the cold water as her lungs filled up. She wouldn't die painlessly, that was for sure. It would be slow and painful. It was terrifying to think about. No. She couldn't throw her life away for some stranger she didn't know.
Those were all excuses.
She knew that but her fear of drowning was very much real and she didn't even want to consider that as a possibility. Who would go swimming in this weather and this time. There was meant to be a snowstorm any moment now. They had no intention to swim. But Huxley had said to watch. He was right, getting involved would attract attention and danger, both of which she did not want.
She curled her hand into a fist and pulled back but then she leaned down on the glass again. Another dark silhouette hurried through and jumped straight into the lake without hesitation. It was at that point that Sera wondered; where were the Peacekeepers?
They were nowhere to be found. How strange. She did notice that Peacekeepers seemed to barely patrol the village. Maybe it was the privilege of being a victor or maybe they knew how unhinged most of the victors were so they decided to leave them alone. The latter seemed the more viable option.
The other silhouette disappeared under the glistening dark waters. It was a cloudless night but that didn't mean it was starless. The stars were dotted around in the sky and it was reflected into the lake. It was as if Lake Nike was filled with stars and the silhouette had gone to take dip in the starry night. She decided to wait. Despite sleep overtaking her mind and fogging up her vision, she decided to wait.
Her vision flickered.
She blinked and she was no longer in her kitchen. She was by a half frozen lake. It was bright, blindingly bright, like it was morning even though it was just night seconds ago.
The frozen lake was all she could see, looking down. Ice had cracked and separated in parts of the lake. She was looking down at it from a cliff. Her eyes naturally wandered around the lake. There was a large crack in the lake with red stains that stood against the ice.
She blinked again and it was gone. She was back in the Victors' Village, standing in her kitchen, peering out the window. Her hands fell to her side and her mind felt hazy but she wanted to check if those two shadows were out there.
Exhausted, she pulled herself close to the frosted window and tried to make out Lake Nike from where she stood but there was no one there. No one was there. Her mind must've been playing tricks on her again. She was worn out. The pill must have taken effect on her and she must have imagined it. It wouldn't be the first time she saw something that wasn't there, nor would it be the last time.