Chapter 12: In a Crowd of Thousands

Sera came to a stop at a giant stone archway. Above the stone archway was a metal sign, the words 'Victors' Village' written across it, indicating this was District 12's own Victors' Village. She couldn't help but think it looked a little gloomy.

The weather certainly didn't help with dark ominous clouds looming above. Depressing but appropriate, she thought.

She trailed behind her guide, the mayor of 12. Scarus walked beside her, looking annoyed but didn't voice his complaints. The two did occasionally talk but most of the time, he was too busy watching his surroundings or trying to talk to Huxley.

The District 12 mayor stopped outside one of the houses and walked up the stairs leading to the front door. He knocked on it once before awkwardly looking back at Sera's entourage. He cleared his throat then tried again, only to be ignored.

District 12 Victors' Village was a near ghost town with one resident who acted as if he was dead rather than simply living on. She understood him. She did and she didn't need Huxley or Emilia to tell her anything about Haymitch Abernathy. She studied his games as well and remembered how confident and intelligent he was at the beginning. He was the first to find the edge of the arena and discover the forcefield. He used it against the Capitol and made a fool of them.

He won.

But the price of winning came at the loss of his loved ones. All of them, dead. The ones behind the game didn't even try to hide their involvement. All of his loved ones died at the same time. To compare, the rest of the victors who had lost their loved ones as punishment for their disobedience; it happened one by one or in various accidents which were likely to happen.

His tributes would also die gruesome deaths, no matter how capable they were.

The girl from 12 was on par with Sera when it came to throwing knives while the boy had the amazing gift of tracking. She didn't know how he managed to do it but he always managed to track anything, even in the snow where tracks would be covered in the blink of an eye. He always managed to find his way back to the rest of them or find the paths the careers or mutts were walking on.

Naturally, the two were vital members of Sera's anti-career alliance and she was sure the boy from 12 would make it far but he met a very strange and cruel death.

The girl followed soon after.

District 12 was cursed. They were punished for Haymitch's actions and every single year he would be forced to watch children with potential die, no matter what he did.

Sera stood back and played with the sleeve of the jumpsuit that Eos had dressed her in. It was a one-sleeved gray and black leather chiffon piece with white leather poppies stitched near the sleeves. She personally added the white poppies as a sign of respect for the fallen.

Bang.

Haymitch Abernathy dragged himself out. She could smell the overpowering stench of alcohol and sweat from the half-open door. Her stomach churned and she felt very ill. She had to take a few steps back before she threw up.

"What!"

"Haymitch," The mayor fidgeted on the spot. "The victory tour? Seraphine Reza is here."

Haymitch tried to stand up against the doorframe but he slipped and fell. The mayor tried to help him but Haymitch swatted his hands away. "...Give me a second—I'll be right—there."

The mayor nervously glanced at Sera who was busy marveling at the Victors' Village.

Haymitch started to laugh when he saw her. She wasn't doing anything funny or anything. No. He just laughed. His bitter laughs turned to violent coughs as he covered his mouth and stumbled back inside to grab something to stop those coughs.

One look at her and he already pitied her. She was only fifteen, fourteen when reaped. She looked so young as well. Tragic. He believed Finnick to be an anomaly but Sera's win proved him wrong.

"Oh they're getting younger and younger." He mumbled under his breath.

Haymitch came back out and met with Sera who had taken the place of the mayor. The mayor stood behind her. She was holding a container of pills.

"It's for coughs." She handed it to him and smiled. He looked down at the clear plastic container and frowned but he didn't say anything. He uncapped the bottle and took a clear orange pill. "Keep it in your mouth and suck on it. It helps with sore throats as well."

He followed her instructions and popped one into his mouth, handing the container back to her. Despite her kind gestures, she looked distant like she'd be anywhere but there. He could relate. Her motions, if someone looked really closely, were rehearsed. He let out a small and quiet laugh.

She knew what she was doing.

It would've been nice if she was from 12 but at the same time, he was glad she wasn't. She would suffer if she was from 12—if she actually made it out alive. Tributes from 12 were lucky if they made it to top ten at least, they never made it out alive and he was the only one that did.

"Give me a minute." He grumbled out to the mayor but kept his gaze on Sera before he disappeared into his cave of home and reappeared moments later, dressed nicer than before. He even combed his messy hair. "Haymitch Abernathy…District 12, that's obvious…and you are Seraphine, District 5, the new la—victor." Sera nodded. "...Well I'd say nice to meet you but I'd be lying."

The feeling was mutual. Sera only smiled and turned her head away from him. "We're on a strict schedule, do you mind hurrying up." Scarus snapped at the old victor.

"With that attitude, I do." Haymitch looked at Scarus with a lazy grin. He didn't like the guard. "Now, lemme guess, I have to give a little tour around the village and then the Justice Building?"

"It's fine. I already had a tour of the village." Sera softly said, looking at Haymitch but not really paying attention.

"You did?" Scarus and the mayor spoke at the same time. The guard scowled. "When—"

"While everyone was trying to get Haymitch's attention." She answered, cutting him off.

Haymitch laughed again seeing the exchange.

Scarus brought out her true nature and it was interesting for him to see, even if it was for a split second before that ever present plastic smile graced her lips. A serene smile which would put everyone at ease, if only it reached her eyes. Her eyes were cold and distant, reminding some of the moon on a winter night. It was like she was drawing lines between herself and everyone she met with just a glance.

Haymitch stumbled and staggered his way to the Justice Building while Sera quietly chatted with Huxley. It was mostly her talking and he would nod along. Scarus trailed behind the two, keeping his eyes trained on Sera and often butting into the conversation uninvited.

The Justice Building of 12 was a crumbling mess, nothing like the splendor of Asterhall. Outer marble walls were covered in coal dust and it smelled of coal and sweat. It was a dull and gray building with Peacekeepers guarding the outside in near formations.

Banners hung from the light posts which fluttered lifelessly in the wind. The way they fluttered was very similar to how Sera viewed 12—lifeless and lifeless it was. Everything in 12 was dull, gray and crumbling. Dust from coal covered everything in 12 even the air.

For someone like her it was hard to breathe. Huxley saw her struggling to breathe and quickly hurried to the Justice Building where Eos and Emilia were already waiting.

In front of the building, a plain stage was set up with two platforms on the sides for the tributes. One for each tribute. Both sides had a screen behind the platforms, projecting their name and face.

Ember and Flint.

She remembered them well. They died before Gene turned on her and had the potential to go far. But potential alone doesn't save anyone.

On Ember's side, a family of four were escorted to their places. Ember had two younger brothers and parents who were very much alive. All of them had dark hair and olive skin and they all looked like they were covered in traces of soot.

While on Flint's side, an old man stood. He was joined by a woman who looked so much like Flint. At first Sera thought it was his mother but upon a closer look, she realized that the woman was too young to be his mother. It was his sister.

Like Ember's family they too had olive skin and dark hair but their eyes were a startling blue like Flint's was. Olive skin and dark hair was common in 12.

Sera was escorted up the stairs to the stage. Haymitch took his place next to the mayor and swayed a little. He was drunk already and it was barely afternoon.

The mayor looked up at the sky and held up his hand out, checking for a sign of rain. He took center stage and tapped on the mic twice before beginning his introductory speech. Emilia hung onto every word and nodded her head along while Huxley looked bored. Haymitch had already shut himself off from the world, only pretending to listen and nod every thirty seconds.

The crowd dully applauded and lazily cheered when Sera was introduced. They didn't really care and she could tell, all of them would rather be home than watch this. She would too. She was tired already and feared collapsing. She had to remember to take her medicine before she came on stage with Huxley watching her like an overprotective mother-hen as she did so.

When the applause died out, she was escorted to the center stage by Scarus who stood at her side but a few steps behind.

"I'd like to start off my speech by thanking the two tributes of District 12, Ember and Flint." Ember's mother looked up at the mention of her daughter's name, meeting Sera's gaze. She looked a lot like Ember but her eyes were full of sadness.

She carried on with her speech that was half-written by her and half by Emilia. She commended her former allies for making it far. Ember was in the top ten while Flint in the top fifteen. The two were skilled enough to have what it takes to win, if only they hadn't met Gene. For obvious reasons, she didn't mention that.

"I had the privilege of knowing both and the trust of having them both as my allies—without them, I don't think I would be standing here."

The crowd murmured and few sighs were heard. Flint's grandfather looked like he was going to cry while his sister tried hard to not to fall apart.

Sera sucked in a breath before letting it go. "To me, Ember and Flint weren't just allies; they were my friends and—I—uh—it was hard seeing my friends go and—" She stopped.

Everyone in the audience stared at her wide-eyed. It was then she realized she had gone off-script. Her gaze wandered around the ground before she turned to look at the people around her on the stage. She met Emilia's gaze. Emilia was panicking and why wouldn't she? She went off-script.

Noticing everyone's gaze and remembering Scarus' presence, she quickly caught herself. She fixed her speech and decided to put an end to her speech quickly. "—I commend them again for their efforts and attempts and I'll remember them forever for their contributions and their friendships."

Ember's mother sniffed as tears started to form in her eyes while her father reached out to hold his wife. Her brothers held each other's hands in silence while staring at Sera. They didn't blame her for what happened to Ember, at all. They saw the games with their own eyes and they knew that the girl from 5 did her best to nurse Ember's wounds but it was too late.

On the other side, Flint's family had quieten down. The pair of grandfather and granddaughter held their hands together and smiled sadly at Sera. The young victor mirrored their looks and sniffed back some tears that threatened to spill.

"I thank you all in District 12 for your participation in the games and—the families of Ember and Flint. Thank you for your contributions to Panem."

Scarus glanced at Sera and nodded in approval. She was smart and quick enough to catch herself before her words made an impact she didn't want. That was good. President Snow would be happy about it or at least appreciate her. Not many victors could stop themselves like she did.

He looked at her, really looked at her as clouds parted, revealing strands of sunlight which engulfed the young victor. It was like there was a halo around her and he realized that perhaps she wasn't as cowardly or as uninteresting as he might have thought her to be. He judged her wrong. She was just scared and he actually understood her. He was like her once.

Sera said her final piece of the speech, thanking everyone and offering condolences to the fallen tributes and putting an end to the eulogy. She thanked the families of the tributes again, offering them some sympathy before moving on and thanking 12 for having her there.

Yet the crowd didn't care for those words. They were stuck on her mishap. The audience murmured among themselves and nodded their heads towards each other before a dull and lifeless applause filled the air.

Their faces didn't match their actions.

Though they were clapping their hands and some were cheering, their faces said it all. Cold and hardened faces, some stained with soot, looked up at Sera with sadness she had never seen before.

District 12 wasn't lifeless. No. They had life. Plenty of life but they were tired.

Her heart sank.

She suddenly regretted her actions even more than she usually did. Ember and Flint. One of them deserved to be there instead of her. Not her. She didn't deserve this. They actually fought hard and all she did was ruin their efforts by offering them false kindness. She felt disgusted by herself and could no longer stand on the stage without swaying.

Her head felt light and her chest felt heavy. She felt like she was going to collapse any moment. Scarus quickly moved to grab her by her waist, steadying her in the guise of escorting her back to her place. She steadied herself with his support but still she found it hard to breathe. Her chest ached and burned, she needed to get out.

Huxley sensed her panic and swiftly moved to take her out of there without letting the people of 12 know. Scarus held on and gently the two escorted her into the Justice Building.

"Want a drink?" Haymitch asked, holding up the flask of alcohol in the air while walking towards Sera who sat on one of the old seats inside the Justice Building. She didn't know where the flask came from. "It'll help calm your nerves."

"I'm fine. Thank you." Sera promptly declined and looked away, busying herself with her own thoughts.

But Haymitch didn't seem to care about her response. "Come on. One drink isn't gonna hurt."

"Aw but it will. I don't know if you've notice but I'm ill, I can't—"

Haymitch let out a laugh and poured a drink while shaking his head. "You're good. I'll give you that, keeping the act up until now. You got everyone…but y'know no one's around so you can stop pretending. Come on, you're not actually—" She blinked at him with an awkward smile. "Oh. Are you actually?" She nodded. "No. Really? Come on everyone lies in their interviews, I'm sure—are you actually ill?"

"Unfortunately, yeah. I didn't make it up." It would be nice if her illness was just a lie but it wasn't. "Would be real nice if I did."

"But you'd be in big trouble."

"Kinda like you." She commented. She regretted it in a second and tried to act as if she said nothing.

Haymitch didn't care or he acted like he didn't but he clenched the bottle so tight, his knuckles became white. He took a huge swing of the drink and chuckled dryly. "I mean you're not wrong—guess there's a lesson in there somewhere." He sighed and capped the bottle as a Peacekeeper passed by.

"There's a lot of Peacekeepers here." She commented quietly.

"You don't have Peacekeepers in Five or something?"

"We do," Another Peacekeeper passed by but he wasn't alone. Scarus was busy talking to the Peacekeeper. His long black coat fluttered as he hurried away but he paused to check on Sera before nodding and leaving. "Just not this many."

"Hmm. Well, they're being extra cautious or something 'cause the victor of the 68th Hunger Games is visiting this dump." Haymitch didn't hesitate to insult District 12 and he didn't care if anyone heard him. "So you can't drink?"

She shook her head. "It's not good for me."

"Damn. It's gonna suck for you in the future. Can you smoke? Or take morphling?"

Haymitch looked like he had momentarily forgotten that Sera was only fifteen or he didn't care. Everything he was talking about was something that people older than her dabbled in. Besides, her aunt and her older siblings would kill her if she even thought of smoking or drinking. It really wasn't good for her.

"No and no. Morphling is banned in Five."

Though it could numb the pain, it would also slow down reaction time and there was added risk of addiction. For a district that managed the power of Panem, it was not a good drug to be on while working at any of the power stations and plants in District 5.

"Ohh. Oh you're gonna have a baaad time."

"If I'm not drunk or high I'm gonna have a bad time?"

"Yep. Believe me, you need something…numbin' to help you get through the days, especially since you're gon' be alone for a while."

"I have a family."

"Right…everyone does or…did."

"I have my mentor as well."

"Huh. Oh Huxley Foret—forgot about him. Good for you, though, you got people 'round you but y'know what that means?"

Confused, she tilted her head to the side. She didn't know what it meant at all.

"It means you got more to lose…"

He was right. It was the bitter truth she had been avoiding and hearing it made her feel sick. She wasn't prepared for it, for any of it. She looked away and observed the Justice Building's interior. The ceiling was cracked and the walls were faded and peeling at the seams. The place looked like it had seen better days.

She didn't look at Haymitch again. He was right, she had more to lose and more things holding her down but she wouldn't have it any other way. It was either that or being left completely alone like Haymitch. She was afraid of being left alone.

Ignoring Haymitch, she went straight to the mayor of 12 who was finally alone.

"Oh. Miss Reza, can I help you?" The mayor tucked his hands into his pockets and nervously looked around.

"Actually sir, you can." She took out a few papers from her bag and handed it to the mayor. "I wanted to donate a portion of my winnings to the families of the affected—it's not much and I know it can't replace the ones they lost but I thought it would be something to help them get by."

The mayor stared at the papers with Ember and Flint's names with a sad look before he nodded. "Thank you so much for your generosity, I'll make an announcement for this during the parad—"

She grabbed onto his arm and stopped him from leaving. "No announcements." The mayor frowned. "I want this to be a private donation…I don't like attention and I don't think they'll like it either."

He nodded and tucked the papers into his pockets. "You're very kind, Miss Reza."

He looked around for a sign of the families before his eyes landed on them in the distance where they were given a small amount of consolidation rations and money. Compared to her donations, it was a meager amount and wouldn't last them until next winter, especially Ember's family.

"...I'm just doing what I think is right." He agreed before leaving to hand the papers to Ember and Flint's families.

Ember's younger brothers looked at the mayor with wide eyes as he spoke while Flint's grandfather started crying. He tried to find Sera who smiled sadly at him.

"That was kind of you." Scarus held a glass of water for her.

She took a sip from it and popped a pill into her mouth before finishing the drink and handing the glass back to him.

"It's just a little…something, nothing compared to their loss."

"You feel bad for them" He didn't budge from where he stood.

"They were my fr—allies, I cared for them and I—" Poisoned them.

Her donation was more to appease the guilt in her heart that grew every time her allies crossed her mind. It was just something to keep the nightmares and shadows at bay. She didn't know how effective it would be.

"And you?"

"And I wouldn't be standing here without their help." She finished.

Scarus nodded satisfied by the answer. "Why didn't you make it public?"

"There's no need to and I didn't want to pressure those who'll come after me." She lied. She didn't care about her successors. She just didn't want unnecessary attention on her or her acts to be deemed acts of rebellion. "Why? Was that a bad choice?"

"Not at all. I'm…a little impressed that you came up with that idea by yourself—did Huxley—"

"No. Huxley isn't the sentimental type." Another lie. He was sentimental, just not to people outside of his small circle of loved ones.

Scarus left her. He was interrogating her and there was no doubt all her answers would be fed back to the President.

She sighed, tired already and it was only her first stop. She had twelve more stops to go. She wasn't looking forward to 2 and the Capitol. She didn't know how she'd look Gaius' family in the eye after what she did.

The rest of her time in 12 was a blur but she did remember Haymitch's words. Only time he was sober. He spent most of it off his mind, babbling nonsense to Scarus or trying to get him drunk.

By the time they arrived at 11, Scarus was done. He just wanted to get this tour over with and Sera found herself agreeing with him.

"Watch your step." Scarus held out his hand for her as she gently descended off the stage in 11. She finished her speech, being extra careful to not go off the script this time.

Camaraderie was nice but she had to remember what the games were all about. It was a remembrance to the Dark Days and a reminder of a failed rebellion. The last thing they wanted to see was real emotions and friendship.

She avoided the gaze of Thyme's family and said her part. She donated a portion of her winnings to his family and moved on. She couldn't afford to be soft.

"Okay, you can take a little rest while we get things sorted." Emilia shuffled through some papers on her clipboard while Huxley looked over her shoulders. "And make sure to take your medicine, we can't have you swaying on the stage again."

"That was once."

"Yes, once is enough. We can't leave any room for mistakes and weaknesses. You're a victor, darling, remember?"

Sera nodded as she sat down. Emilia nodded and disappeared in the ground while Huxley took a seat nearby. She got up and went to talk to the mayor of 11, repeating what she did in 12..

She did the same in all the districts she visited, being very careful to not let the mayors announce her donations. Each time Scarus would hover around her, watching her, making sure she didn't make a mistake or collapse.

At 6, she tried to ignore Acadia's family like Thyme's but it was hard. They looked for her afterwards. Acadia was the only girl in a family of boys and her mother wanted to thank or shout at her, she didn't know. Her mother and brothers were solemnly quiet during her speech but inconsolable during the entire parade.

Sera felt bad for running away from them and actively avoiding them. She knew it was horrible but she couldn't help it.

"So that's Six done." Huxley announced. They were on the train to 4 now. District 5 was skipped for the end. "We have five more to go. Relax and don't forget to take your medicine." He left the room, leaving her with Scarus.

The guard didn't say anything and left her to stare out the window. The train for victors was different from the train she took to the Capitol and back home. It was larger, more spacious and faster.

"You're not doing this out of kindness, are you?" Scarus shuffled some playing cards between his hands and looked at her.

"I don't know what you mean."

"I think you do," The shuffling stopped. He leaned over to Sera and looked her straight in the eye. "You're doing it out of guilt, aren't you?"

"Does it matter?"

She wasn't surprised he figured it out. She did a terrible job of hiding her true feelings. 12 and 11 made it quite clear how she felt towards her dead allies. She wanted to ignore them completely and erase them from her mind then deal with their ghosts.

"No. Maybe." He shuffled the cards again before stopping and holding them up. "Do you want to play?"

She wasn't in the mood to play. Her mind was a mess and her heart ached.

"It'll help take your mind off things."

She laughed a little, thinking how similar his words were to Haymitch's. One was about drugs and alcohol, the other about games. She knew neither would help, she'd still have those unwanted thoughts in the back of her mind waiting.

"Sure. I have nothing else to do."

The two got comfortable as Scarus shuffled the cards between his hands before splitting the cards and putting the excess to the side. He looked up.

"Do you need me to explain the rules?" Sera nodded. She didn't know this game as well as chess.

She listened attentively as Scarus explained the rules of the game. It was a simple card game he used to play with his brother when he was younger and from the look on his face, he looked confident he would win.

"Do you ever feel guilt like mind-numbing, haunt you in your dreams, guilt?" She placed down a card.

He mimicked her actions. "I did—in the past, not anymore." She placed down another card. "It gets easier with more time."

"Hard to believe."

"It's true."

"I'm sure you still feel guilt—you're not that much older than me." She carefully looked at me while he was busy looking at the cards.

Scarus paused. He gazed at her and looked at her. Her dark hair curtained her face as she was busy staring at her cards. She wasn't wrong but she wasn't right.

"Did I ever tell you how and why I joined the Elite Guards?" She innocently shook her head. "No? Well, I joined the Peacekeepers first by lying about my age—told them I was 18 two years ago but really—"

"You were only sixteen." He bobbed his head and carried on. "Then why did you do it? Then why join if it was so hard? I mean you were born wealthy, should've been an easy life."

"It was…suffocating at home." He swallowed and his hands trembled a little. She kept her gaze on him as eyes lit up with a mischievous spark. "My parents…they had a political marriage. My mother—for lack of a better word—hated my father for forcing her to marry him and as a result she hated me."

"That's kind of stupid. You couldn't help that you're related to your father."

Scarus smiled a little but quickly erased it before Sera noticed. He didn't know why he smiled. There was no reason.

"Well, she thought I looked too much like him but deformed."

"Deformed? You just have a scar."

"It's still a deformity."

She shook her head. She knew what actual deformity was. She had seen first hand the results of the accidents of 5's power plants or those who were born as a result of the fall out of Nero. Those people had fused joints, missing jaws or sealed eyes. Some were born with their ears missing completely or legs and arms missing. Some had problems with their spines and were always hunched.

She didn't consider Scarus deformed she just thought he was scarred. It was fine and it was liveable besides the scar, he still looked fairly handsome but she'd never admit that out loud.

"...I don't think it is." She quietly said as she placed down a card.

Scarus' hold on his cards tightened and he felt strange. There was this strange feeling in the pit of his stomach and an odd warmth in his chest. He never felt it before but he didn't hate it.

"So that's why you joined the Peacekeepers?" She asked, not impressed. She didn't like them, no one did.

"Yeah. I could've stuck around for my little brother but—they care about him more."

"That's a…little unfair."

"Not really. He's not deformed and…he's actually kind. I suppose that's why my mother actually took her time naming him."

"What did she name him?"

"Eros."

"Eros." She repeated and looked at Scarus helplessly.

His parents really didn't love him. Eros and Scarus. It was clear as day that his mother despised Scarus. She didn't have to ask about his father to know that he was an absent father or someone who would bend over backwards for someone who hated them. Something told her Scarus was no different.

"It's funny, isn't it? How they hate each other and me but care for him."

"It's pitiful." She admitted, putting down another card. "But that's just my opinion."

"Do you pity me?"

He put his cards down on the table and leaned in towards her with hand under his chin. His face was blank but his eyes had a desperate look to them before he let out a sad laugh and picked up his cards, absentmindedly shuffling the few cards he had left.

She did pity him for being unloved and pitied him for thinking that his only escape was joining a group of people that terrorized Panem. Scarus was pitiful. It made sense why he looked up to Huxley. Yet something stopped her from answering him.

Scarus placed down another card and announced that he had one more card left. Sera looked at her cards. She could easily win if she placed down a single card where he would have to pick up more cards but instead she chose another, letting him win.

He grinned as he placed down his final card and declared his win. She smiled innocently and put down her remaining cards face up, revealing them. He stopped mid-celebration and looked at her and the cards in disbelief.

"Congrats on your win." She clapped a little and then got up, leaving him behind to go and rest in her room.

Scarus was left confused. Sera could've easily won but she didn't. He thought he explained the rules well for her. Looking at her discarded cards, he thought otherwise. He stared at her empty seat for a moment, thinking back to their last game: the game of chess. She won and had kept him on his toes through the whole game which lasted until sundown but this game ended in under two hours. He was very confused.

Something had shifted between the two, even if Sera didn't know it yet. Huxley watched carefully as the young guard who a few days ago would only vie for his attention, was observing Sera like a hawk. He looked deeply interested in all of her small motions and would pause or look away whenever Sera smiled. It wasn't real. She was still pretending.

It was strange.

"Did I miss something?" Huxley asked while walking Sera to the fitting room where Eos and the rest of the styling team were. They were almost at 4 and Sera needed to get ready.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean Sc…the dog is being nicer to you. What did you do?"

She shrugged. "I played a game and…lost."

"Purposely?"

"What do you think?"

He sighed and rubbed his temples. He was so tired of dealing with her. "Do you realize what kinda situation you're in?"

"If I didn't I wouldn't have lost." She hissed back.

"You think he doesn't know you lost on purpose, Sera…his job is to watch you. Do you think he doesn't know you by now?"

"Yes, because you can know everything about a person after a few weeks."

He stopped just outside the doors to the fitting room. "You knew almost everything about those tributes within three days of training."

She flinched and looked away. She didn't say anything and opened the door to the fitting room, going in. He stayed outside. She hated how right he was.

Scarus probably did know she lost on purpose, he would be able to tell by her cards but did it matter?

Yes, it did.

"Ah Four, my favorite!" Emilia announced as Eos finished putting the final touches on Sera's outfit for 4. Eos fanned out and unfurled the petal-like skirt that reminded Sera so much of an iris.

"The sun, the sea—what's not to like about Four?" Eos chimed in.

"The smell of fish?" Mica grumbled as he passed by and handed Harp a silver poppy hair clip.

Eos and Emilia made a face as they shared a look. The two women reluctantly agreed as Harp tried to style Sera's short hair into curled waves. She had been quiet lately since her little outburst a few weeks back at Sera's home.

"It's not that bad…if you like fish." Eos tried.

"I'm not a fan of seafood, you know that." Emilia pouted, folding the sapphire fan in her hand. She wore a blue gem-studded dress that reminded Sera of the ocean in the sun.

"Seafood isn't that bad." Harp finally chimed in. The group let out a collective sigh and smiled finally. "Sera agrees right?"

"I don't really have a preference, I'm okay with whatever." Sera stepped back and checked herself in the mirror. "...I think I'm done."

"You are." Eos agreed, taking a step back and joining Mica in the back.

Emilia hurried over to her and gave Sera a quick check before grabbing her shoulders. "Now, did you have your medicine?" Sera nodded. "Do you remember your speech?" She nodded again. "Do you?"

"I do—honestly, Emilia, it was once. I made a mistake once. It's not going to happen again."

"You can never be so sure." Eos dismissed Harp and Mica before turning to her. "Better safe than sorry." She hurried Sera out of the room and she walked into the hall where Scarus was waiting along with Huxley. "Off you go, better not keep people waiting."

The two rose from their seats when they noticed her with Scarus holding out his hand for her. Hesitantly, she took his hand in hers, letting him help her as she struggled to walk in her heeled shoes.

Sun was shining down brightly as a pleasant breeze caressed Sera's face. Emilia wasn't lying when she said it was one of the more pleasant districts. It was so close to 5 but so different. The ocean was one and the smell of salt in the air was the other. It was hot and humid. She understood why Eos had chosen a light dress more than ever. District 4 was hot but it was beautiful. She couldn't help but marvel at the bays and docks of 4. She had never seen anything like it.

Sera was going to be given a tour of 4 by some former victors. She recognized a few names on the itinerary she was given by the mayor and noticed Finnick's name. She was surprised to see his name but he was noticeably absent. His mentor, Mags Flanagan was present and she was joined by two men who were also former victors. Mags happily chatted along with Emilia while even Huxley took part in the conversation.

"If you keep walking any further, you'll trip and fall into the road." Finnick stopped her from walking towards the docks.

Sera snapped out of her wonder and stared at him in silent surprise. She thought he wasn't going to be there. "Finnick." She sounded out his name while glancing around for a sign of Scarus or Huxley or Emilia. The trio were a distance from her, busy listening to the mayor of 4 and the other victors 4.

"Yes."

"Nothing. I forgot this was your home." She lightly commented before walking back to the edge. She'd have to wait till the tour guides showed her the beach and the docks to actually go there instead of going off on her own.

Finnick rolled his eyes and grinned. He was in a good mood or looked as if he was. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" He gestured to the sea.

She had to agree. District 4 was stunning. It was bright and warm. The people were kind and full of life, so different from all the districts she had been to so far. Some parts of 4 reminded her so much of 5.

"Yeah. You're very lucky to be from here."

"Five's pretty good too."

"But we don't have an ocean."

"It's just salty water. Lots and lots of salty water, it's undrinkable and—don't get me started on the sand—gets everywhere."

Sera threw her head back and laughed. Finnick laughed as well. He couldn't help it. He grinned at her. It felt nice to just talk normally.

District 4 really was picturesque and looked straight out of a painting. But looking around, she noticed the tired and scarred hands and faces of the people there. Their sunburnt skin and aged arms and faces. They look like they had seen better days. No one smiled either.

The sailors and fishermen grumbled to each other in low voices with semi-permanent scowls on their faces as children hurried past them with bright smiles carrying seashells which she could guess would also be sold in the Capitol.

"Do you want a tour?" Finnick asked.

"I'll wait." She declined and tried to put some distance between the two. She hadn't forgotten about Huxley and Emilia's warning. The night on the train was enough proof to her that nothing good comes out of a friendship with him. She knew it wasn't his fault and the two just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time but she couldn't help it.

"He's doing it again." She turned to the voice that appeared from the side. The air became cooler as the ghastly image of Jenny appeared in front of her. She took a step back in surprise. This was a first for her.

"Surprised?" The District 4 tribute laughed.

"Well, you have better things to worry about." Ripley appeared behind the sickly dead girl and moved his head towards Finnick who seemed to be observing Sera.

Finnick noticed her gaze on him raised his brows in confusion. "What? Is there something on my face?" He lightly teased with a grin on his face but his eyes didn't reflect that. He was concerned. Sera's eyes were clouded again and she had stilled in her spot just like that night right before she started choking herself.

"Did you tell anyone?"

He looked at her clouded eyes and looked around for anyone. The two were alone and no one seemed to be paying attention to the two. "No. I'd be insane and foolish if I did." And he would be. President Snow already had him under watch and if he found out what he and Sera had witnessed he could imagine what would happen to him but he couldn't imagine her fate.

She didn't believe him and it didn't help that the voice of Jenny joined by Ripley told her not to trust him. "He's probably lying." Ripley harshly whispered against her ears, making her flinch.

"You don't trust me."

"I didn't say anything."

"He knows…lie better."

She flinched again. "Seraphine?" She looked at him and blinked. "Are you cold?" He took a step forward before looking for anyone from her entourage. He was trying to find either Emilia or Huxley but neither seemed to be around. Her guard was busy talking to the Head Peacekeeper of 4 and didn't seem like he was anywhere close to be done.

"He's probably trying to get you killed." Jenny softly suggested. "Maybe…you should kill him before—look there's a knife there." Ripley gestured to a nearby fruit stall where a fruit knife gleamed in the distance. "Grab it…or would you prefer something more painful like poi—"

Sera blinked twice and dug her nails into the palms of her hands. The images of the dead faded into the air and she was left alone with Finnick. "I'm fine—it was just the breeze." She tried to excuse herself but Finnick moved to block her from leaving.

"You're not okay." He stated, looking at her, examining her. He knew what she was going through. He went through the same thing. Endless nights and days of being haunted by his allies and his victims. He knew it well. It was a tradition for the victors with the younger ones like him and Sera having it the worst. "Look, I know what you're going through—"

"Stop." She cut him off and shoved his hands away from her. "Look, just because we went through something that night doesn't mean, we're friends or anything. I don't know you and I'm tired of you acting so friendly when you don't know me."

Hurt flashed on his face for a second before he forced himself to smile. He thought she didn't notice but she did. He acted as if her words didn't get to him and walked past her. Thinking he finally left her alone, Sera stood there and admired the sea.

But her view was blocked by a fish shaped bread. She sighed, already knowing who was holding the bread. "I thought I told you to leave me alone."

"No you didn't." Finnick laughed. He was right. She didn't. She couldn't argue against him. She opened her mouth and closed it before looking away. He found her reaction amusing and snickered. "Here, I thought you might be hungry."

"I don't want it." She didn't even look at him, afraid that she might say something even more harsh. She didn't hate the boy, no, she just didn't know how to act around him. It was easier to be around the arrogant Scarus than the charming Finnick. Despite his arrogance, Sera could read Scarus better but Finnick was so much harder.

"Want some?" Finnick offered, holding up a bread shaped like fish. "It's pretty good. There's apricot jam inside."

She perked up a little. He got her attention. "Apricot jam inside a fish-shaped bread?" She curiously turned to stare at the pastry.

"Yes, did you expect actual fish?"

"Maybe." This was 4, they were known as the 'fishing' district. She couldn't help but think they'd have fish shaped bread with fish inside. Seeing her, Finnick laughed. He knew what she was thinking. She scowled at him and then glanced at the pastry. It did have her attention.

She bit her lips and stared at the pastry as he held it out. He had that stupid grin on his face again. He laughed looking at her. She glared before hesitantly taking the bread from him. Carefully, she bit into it.

The outer bread was sweet and light, easy to bite into, so fluffy that it melted in her mouth. It was warm as well. The sweet and tart apricot jam filled her mouth along with the fluffy pastry. She couldn't stay mad at him after this.

"It's good, right." He took a few bites of his and offered her a napkin. "I thought you'd like it."

"And if I didn't."

"Well, there's always the salted caramels or the saltwater taffies."

She finished her bread and wiped her hands with the paper napkin before throwing it away. He was already done. She actually felt better than before, even if she didn't want to admit it. "You know you can't just buy friendship with food."

"Why not?" He asked innocently. "I think it's a great method…I mean how else would you make friends?"

"By talking to them? Having the same interests and experiences."

"We have the same interests and experiences and we share a secret."

She paused and looked at him with a look on her face. He got her again. He was right, the two had witnessed something they shouldn't have and she didn't know if he would keep it to himself. She looked at his face. There was a smug grin on his face, he knew he got her.

"I can't believe you're using that." She breathed out in disbelief. He chuckled and shrugged. Out of impulse, she lightly punched. "You're unbelievable."

"You left me with no choice—"

"Seraphine!" Scarus shouted out her name. She flinched in response and covered her ears in pain. Finnick reached out to help her but Scarus hurried to her side and swatted his hands away. "What are you doing? It's almost time."

"Oh." She said, looking at her guard. Scarus looked a little too angry for no reason whatsoever. He narrowed his eyes at Finnick and glanced between the two. Not wanting to be questioned, Sera started walking away without a word.

Her guard reluctantly followed her and helped lead her back to the square where like the districts before, it was decorated. Banners and balloons hung around with a large image of her as a victor displayed on the sides. It was all a little too much for her but she said nothing.

Scarus helped her on stage where she was joined by the mayor of 4 along with past victors of 4 and Emilia and Huxley. She started her speech and avoided the gazes of the families of Ripley and Jenny. She did catch a glimpse of Jenny's family. She had a sister and a father. Her sister looked exactly like her but her hair was brighter and reminded Sera of the setting sun.

"—Thank you for your contributions to Panem." She finished her speech and glanced at the people down below who looked at her with bright curious eyes. They cheered and clapped as she smiled and waved before being escorted off the stage.

Scarus didn't let her get out of his sight despite Finnick's attempts to talk to her. She felt helplessly trapped and it didn't help that Huxley turned a blind eye to the guard's actions. She managed to convince him to let her talk to the mayor of 4 at least and he finally relented.

"Excuse me." Sera walked up to the mayor who was a tall man with a long salt and pepper beard and aged sea green eyes.

"Ah Miss Reza, what can I do for you today?"

"Yes, I would like to give you these." She took out the donations for Ripley and Jenny's families. "It's a little something for the fallen. It's not much but I hope it will aid them in any way possible."

He stared down at the paper with a tired look before he nodded and took them, flicking through them. He was slightly impressed at the young victor but he was still upset at the deaths of the children of 4. "Thank you for your kind generosity, Miss—it won't be forgotten." He put the papers away. "I take it you want me to keep this private."

She paused and looked up at the mayor whose eyes gleamed with kindness. For once, someone understood what she wanted without her telling them. She smiled brightly and thanked him before letting him know. The mayor thanked her back and when she turned around she caught the eye of Finnick who was standing a few distance away from her but close enough to have heard her. Before she would have cared but now she didn't.

Scarus wasn't too far either. He blocked Finnick's way and all but dragged her away from there. He stood by her side throughout and only left when he had to, she hated it but she had no room to voice her complaints.

"Sera, we need to talk." Huxley had said when they were on the way 1.

He avoided her throughout her time in 3 and 2 but now he wanted to talk. She sighed, knowing what this was going to be about and brushed him off.

"I'm tired." She had enough about his warnings about Finnick. She knew and she tried to get him to leave her alone but it didn't work. He wouldn't believe her so there was no point in telling him. Besides, he still didn't know about that night.

Author's note: I thought it'd be neat if I did a note of the flowers I used in the chapters and their meanings.

Flower Dictionary

Poppy (gen.) - Consolation, Remembrance and Death

Iris - Hope, Wisdom, Trust, Valor and Faith