When you're in love...or what you think is love, you tend to forget about everyone and everything else in the world.
Even if it's a common emotion in this world, the first time feeling it will remain forever
Like his embers.
The sun began to set. I know he's probably internally panicking over where I'm at and who I'm with. Toya had become seriously protective of me, making me ask for training from Kimy and Uncle Rio behind Mama's back.
It has been like routine for the past 2 years, I'd visit Toya every single Sunday morning and stay until that evening. We'd play games, talk about our day, enjoy the silence between us, talk about books I've picked up, sometimes take naps, and even train together!
Of course, he goes easy on me as if I...can break easily, but I tell him to don't be so soft on me despite him still refusing to do so.
Sometimes, I find myself talking about myself more than he does about himself, yet he says it's fine. I'm well aware of the situation and strained relationship between him and his family. I got him to spill some things over time, but I never pushed him too far. I try to avoid any subjects about them because he always gets this dull or scary expression on his face whenever I do.
Toya realizes his expressions make me uncomfortable and apologizes immediately after doing so. He likes to keep me close...as if I'd disappear right in front of him. Of course, he gives me space when he thinks he's been too clingy, which I find...kinda cute. He's even given me a new nickname, "Kami", as in the one who "actually saved him". I like to keep him close to me, too; his presence and warmth reassure me.
There are times when I have to hide from his siblings and mother more so than his father, the one he tries his absolute best for. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm feeding Toya's unhealthy obsession by training with him. I should address that as soon as I reach him.
Hearing the sound waves of flames whooshing in the air, I smiled as the sound became clearer and so was the traditional household I'd been visiting for a year.
"Toya!" I shouted loud enough to where he could hear me over his roaring flames.
He turned around, flames sizzling into embers as a smile spread on his face at seeing my approaching figure.
However...his smile felt different and his eyes looked wild, filled with something I can't describe.
"Toya, I need to tel-"
He picked me in his arms, lifting me and embracing me close. "You got here late, way late. I've been worried sick about you. Anything happened at home? Are you hurt anywhere, Kami?"
"I...I'm fine. I was held up because of my big brother making sure I had everything before I left. His worries could rival yours..."
He smiled, placing me back on the snow-covered ground. He pats my head before cupping my face in his hands and squishing my cheeks.
"Toh-yah~!" I whined.
He laughed, stopping the squishing, but keeping his hands on my cheeks, "I have a present for you, Kami. But I heard you say you needed to tell me something, so go ahead."
"Well...it's about your Quirk."
"My Quirk? What about it?" he asked curiously.
"I...Don't get mad at me when I say this. I'm only saying this because I care about you a lot, and I like you, so...I don't think it's safe for you to become a hero, Toya." Before he could speak, the next words stumbled out of my mouth. "I don't want you to die yet. I won't let you. Not because of your father, you, or some dream that isn't what it all appears to be in the light."
"..."
"I don't care if you hate me for what I said. I want to protect you because...because I'm selfish, I like you. I can't remember if I was ever this happy before the incident in Iwaizumi."
"This is...perfect," he mumbled.
I tilted my head, rapidly blinking at him, seeing that indescribable look return to his eyes.
"I told you already, "Don't do that". As I was saying, this is perfect because I like you, too, Kamilah. I want to be with you forever; it took me a while to accept that thought, but I have now."
My eyes lit up at hearing this, "You...you mean it?"
"Yeah!" he exclaimed joyfully. "I want to make you happy, Kami! But...not like this, we can't do what we want or how we want because we're placed under an orderly system."
"Huh?"
"Let's run away, together. I don't know where to, but I just want to run away from all of our family drama. You see it's already affected me badly...I don't want you to end up the same way either."
"But Toya...you make it sound so easy. We can't just up and leave. We need support, we need a roof over our head, warm food, and it's winter, too! Also, our families would go over the top just to find us! They have plenty of resources they can go to because they're heroes."
"You are right. Everything you just said is true. Then...Kamilah," he held both of my hands in his palms as he got down on his right knee, "Do you trust me?"
I nodded my head, "Yes."
"Do you like me?"
"Yes."
"Do you...love me?"
I blushed, easily becoming flustered, "L...Love? I-I'm foreign to the concept, but I think so if it's anything similar to "like"."
He smiled at me, "...Will you marry me?"
I gasped and felt heat replacing the cold on my cheeks, "T-Toya! We're too young to be thinking about such things! At least wait until both of our brains are nearly or fully developed to think responsibly and on our own!"
He chuckled, "ALways so wrapped up in your head...but you didn't answer my question."
I nibbled on my bottom lip, glancing at our entangled fingers, "You...Prove to me how you're going to go about this, then I'll give you my answer."
He let go of our hands, still smiling, "Okay, stay back here," he said as he passed me by, walking towards a group of trees.
He stood in front of them, not saying or doing anything. I heard him take a deep breath in and let a deep breath out. His hands curled into fists, they set ablaze into blue colors, and he spread hit one of the trees-instantly spreading the flames towards the other trees.
The flames were the colors of arctic ice now that night had settled in. The trees looked like a sea of roaring blue flames, rapidly becoming extensive like wildfire.
Another gasp left me as I tried to wrap my head around what exactly Toya was trying to prove to me. He began to laugh as he turned back to me with that same disturbing look in his eyes, making me slightly flinch.
"That's how I'm going to handle things," he calmly spoke. "If anyone or anything gets in our way, I'll just burn them until they're nothing but ash! You don't have a thing to worry about, Kami! You can rely on me now, I'll be your hero!" he frantically yelled as he walked further into the woods, spreading his flames.
"Toya?! Where are you going?!" I yelled, taking a few steps forward.
It's like he couldn't hear me anymore, too surrounded by his little world he's built around himself. This behavior of his...started to sicken me, it reminded me of Mama's episodes...
Shaking my head, I picked up the pace in my steps, quickly catching up to him as he kept training.
"Toya, wait!"
"No one's ever going to hurt you again, Kamilah! I can promise you that!"
I grabbed his left arm, trying to hold him back by planting my feet into the ground with the help of my Quirk.
"PLEASE! LISTEN TO ME, TOYA! YOU'RE NOT YOURSELF!"
"LET ME GO! I NEED TO KEEP TRAINING SO I CAN PROTECT YOU!"
"NO! YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH! YOU'LL HURT YOURSELF!"
"I'VE HURT MYSELF MANY TIMES BEFORE, AND NOW YOU'RE SUDDENLY CONCERNED?!"
"I-I HAD TO THINK ABOUT THIS, TOYA! YOUR WELL BEING IS IMPORTANT! HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO TAKE CARE OF ME WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF?!"
Feeling something hot and sturdy wrench into my gut, I was sent skidding across the snow until my back hit something wooden. I coughed out red stuff...and I felt it pooling from my head down my face.
This was almost like before with Mama and Auntie.
My body felt weak and I felt dizzy...it was hard to cough and breathe. I took short quick breaths, trying to stay conscious and get up.
My eyes felt so heavy, and my heartbeat began to slow down drastically, making me internally panic because I could go into a coma, or worse, die. I couldn't keep my eyes open to see Toya approaching me, but I heard him.
"Kami...?"
I tried to use my voice, but it felt like it was stuck and I was in pain too much pain to use it anyway. I just hoped Toya knew that I am alright, just unconscious.
"H-Hey...Kami, g-get up, I-I didn't mean...I didn't mean to hurt you. I-It was an accident...Hey, please...Kamilah..."
I felt a hand on my shoulder, but it was soon snatched away once a deep voice shouted something.
"...I killed her," he whispered. "I let it all go to my head...and ended up being the one to hurt her, murder her..." he whispered, trying to hold back.
'No, you didn't! I'm still here! Just shake me! Toya, please, do anything! I'm fine! Don't leave me here!'
"TOYA!" the same voice shouted, but it was clearer now.
"I...I'm sorry," he whispered.
From what I could hear with the ringing in my ears, Toya turned around and began running back into the woods.
'Damn it! Get up, stupid body! He needs you! He can't be alone out there! He's too unstable! Now that he thinks I'm dead, there's nothing left to stop him! Oh, no...he'll lose himself!'
My fingers twitched, giving me a glimmer of hope that I can get the rest of my nerves to work if I just focus-
"Rei, there's a child!" the man's voice rang out again.
Hearing that made my body jolt, and my hands clenched into tiny fists as I heard...three pairs of footsteps heading my way.
"She's injured, but not burned. Maybe there's a chance Toya didn't mean to attack her...?" she spoke with hope.
"That boy is spreading a wildfire, I have no doubt in my mind that this girl somehow blocked his attack with her Quirk," the man spoke again. "Fuyumi, look after your Mother and the child."
My heartbeat picked back up at the next insinuating words...
"Yes!" the voice of a girl agreed...Toya's sister's voice.
"I'm going after Toya! All of you, stay here!" he shouted, already distances away from where we are.
'Get up.'
"We need to get her inside and warm her up. Fuyumi, please, go get the medical kit, a bowl of hot water, and a towel for me, please?"
'Get up!'
"Yes, Mom!" the girl agreed once more with feet tapping against the wood.
'Get up, damn it!'
"Natsuo, take Shoto in the house. He doesn't need to-"
'...'
"Is big brother Toya gonna be okay?" a young boy's voice asked. "And what about the pretty girl?"
"She's going to be-"
"Truly sorry," I apologized before I pushed away the woman holding me enough to throw her off balance.
Getting up off the ground, I ran in the same direction I saw Toya and larger footprints. I had to curve around a few trees because of my disorientation from losing some blood.
I didn't understand how I recuperated faster than I thought I would, but I didn't care to as of now. My mind was only on one person. If his Father ever did find him, I'm afraid Toya wouldn't make it out alive if it ever did come to a live-or-die situation. His father's the Number 2 Hero for crying out loud. Now I don't think he'd kill him...but Toya would kill himself trying to fight his father.
The snowfall has gotten heavier now, it's covered the footprints and I could only make out what flames weren't instantly washed out. I didn't want to give up, I can't give up on Toya. I've only lived for 6 years, but I think he's the only one in this world who can understand me, it's like we're connected by the red thread of fate.
Hearing the familiar roars of flames, I squinted my eyes to see if they were blue or orange. Thank the Heavens, they were blue.
"TOYA!"
Whether he could hear me or not most likely didn't matter because of the rush of the snowstorm, the roaring of the fire, and whatever insane things he was telling himself at this moment.
"IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, I'M OKAY! YOU DIDN'T HURT ME! YOU DIDN'T KILL ME! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BLAME YOURSELF!"
The creaking of wood alerted me and I saw a tree fall not far ahead of me, so I jumped over it. For a second, it felt like I was flying, but I shoved that thought at the back of my mind.
More burning trees kept falling, and I slid in the snow like I'm on a snowboard, narrowly avoiding all the trees, and jumping when it was called for.
"TOYA-"
Before I finished my sentence, I tripped over a broken branch and began tumbling forward. Before I knew what was happening, I found myself turned on my right side, choking up more blood.
Something stabbed me...no, something went through me, something sharp.
I slowly looked down to see thick and clear pointed sticks...sticks? going through my stomach. They were coated in blood, making them shine like a gem despite the raging snowstorm.
'After all this time...i-it gets m-me now? Death wants me n-now? No...n-no, th-that's unfair... It's unfair! J-Just a little longer! Toya needs me! He needs me, damn it!'
The realization that I've been impaled made me panic, hyperventilate, break down, and after all that torture, faint. The worse thing I could've done was faint; with this many injuries...
I'll surely die...but maybe...
I should start to accept that because Toya's flames became embers.
Anger.
Frustration.
Helplessness.
Fear.
Guilt.
Loneliness.
Overwhelmed.
Resentment.
Failure.
Sadness.
Hollow.
I didn't feel any of that until I walked through the front door.
I made sure to keep to the shadows as the morning sun raised as much as I didn't feel like making the walk back, and nothing hurt...at least for now because of the shock.
I closed the door behind me quietly, wanting to go upstairs and lay on my bed, try to treat my wounds myself, and get some sleep.
Wait, no...this situation isn't like with Mama. This is something way more dangerous, eternal, life-threatening even.
"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIR-"
As soon as I heard cheers that quickly went quiet, I turned to them, unsure of what my expression looked like as I stared at each one of my family members and...friends? Aunt Yui, Kimy, Uncle Rio, Grandma, Grandpa, Mrs. Fujisaki with Rika and Joon...
I took a shaky step into the living area, holding my hands over the melting ice sicles that dripped like watery red paint onto the white carpet. I started to come out of my haze and brief numbness...
"...Help..." was all I could manage to say before falling on my knees and on my left side, not wanting to move the sickles on accident and cause more blood to flow out.
It took less than a second for everyone to react. The clattering of a dish, screams, crying, panicking, concerns...a whole panic at the disco.
'Oh...that's what he meant by "special present"...' A tiny smile appeared on my lips, 'Today's my birthday, isn't it?'
"Sis, do you want me to carry you?" Hakim asked me.
I shook my head, "Mm-mm. Go ahead without me, I just want to admire the view here," I told him with a convincing smile.
He frowned a little before hesitantly nodding, "Okay. Don't stay out too long. Sun's almost aset."
"Alright!" I chirped as he jogged on.
It's quiet now...one of the things I now hate because I'm left with my own thoughts in one of the worst places.
Ever since that day, Uncle Rio and Mama forced Hakim to go everywhere with me if they weren't home. They won't let me out of their site unless I'm accompanied by one of them. To avoid being stalked all the time, I don't go anywhere anymore other than school and home.
I leaned back and forth on my toes and heels, glancing across the street. I've grown to hate this street...I've grown to hate the woods around here, I've grown to hate this traditional household.
It's been a little over a year since they took Toya Todoroki away from me.
Shaking my head from the negative thoughts, I lifted my head enough to see where I am walking so I wouldn't have to bump into someone. I followed the same path Hakim took, passing through the quiet neighborhood.
Stopping in my footsteps again, I looked across the street to see a small figure laying against the paved wall. It looked like they were crying, but I didn't hear them exactly.
'Just a crying kid, Kamilah...No need to get your heart broken any more than it already is.'
When I tried to push forward, my feet stuck in place, and they were shaking. I looked back at the shaking kid, who still hadn't noticed me. I quietly sighed, turning towards the kid and I crossed the street after making sure no cars were coming.
'How did Hakim miss this kid? He's more of the type to deal with these kinds of situations. I'm not suited at all...'
With what little false emotion I have left for the day, I managed a gentle aura and a soft smile.
"Excuse me..."
The kid looked up at me slowly, revealing watery...unique multicolored eyes with a bad burn mark around his left eye. He looks familiar, but memory just isn't serving right now because I want to get this out the way.
"...Why are you crying?"
He rubbed his eyes into his arm, then looked away from me, "I am not."
I squat down to his level, "There's no need to hide the obvious. If you try to bottle your emotions inside, they could all explode at one time...and the end result may not be so good. Do you have someone to express your problems to?"
"...I used to."
"Hm...I can't replace that person, but I'm willing to to be the person that'll listen to you," I responded. I honestly couldn't believe the words spilling from my mouth.
The boy stood up, taking what seemed to be an intimidating step toward me, but I wasn't bothered in the slightest. For someone who was just down on their feet, crying, sure has a lot of guts to become angry the next minute at a helping hand.
"We're strangers. I don't know you, you don't know me. Why listen to a stranger's sob story? There may be heroes in the world, but all that glitters isn't gold. You wouldn't understand my life anyway. Leave me alone..." he told me, about to turn away.
Something told me not to let him go just yet. I'm intrigued by his logic for someone as young as me.
"Well," I gently grasped his hands, "We both won't be strangers if we become friends...?"
He looked up from our hands to my eyes, "...Friends?"
I nodded, "Mhm!" An abrupt unease came over me, "B-But...I don't want to force you into anything i-if that's alright with y-"
"Yes."
I'm genuinely surprised at how fast he was to agree when he was just being rude and denying my help. Maybe he's never had a friend before...or he's bipolar? What an odd one...what a familiar one...
The ends of my lips tremble in anticipation, 'I just needed a name to confirm his identity.'
"Oh, I haven't introduced myself. My name is Kamilah Shimizu. And yours?" I asked nicely.
"Shoto Todoroki," he responded.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say the smile on my face finally reached past my lips to my eyes at hearing the answer I wanted. His eyes are sparkling with awe adorning his face...I wonder if mine reflected the same.
Unsure of the exact reason he was so giddy about it, I squeezed his hands.
"Todoroki...I'll call you Todoroki-kun! You can call me what you like," I told him.
"Okay...Shimizu-chan," he tried my last name, glancing away from me.
"Todoroki-kun, there's no need to be so uptight around me. We're friends now, so you can be as comfortable as you like," I reassured him.
He nodded stiffly. "...Your eyes..."
"Hm?"
"The color of your eyes..."
I tilted my head in curiosity, "What about them?"
"...They're pretty...Your eyes are like the sky and ocean..."
"...oh..." I smiled regardless of the compliment, "Thank you. Your eyes are...unique, too."
Sighing on the inside, I took this time to study him as he looked in a nearby puddle, observing himself...before slowly moving his gaze to my reflection.
'Toya's little brother, well...aren't I lucky? I only know what Toya told me about him...and they weren't pleasant things. I must be his very first friend if Endeavor really isolated him from his siblings. Wonder how he got himself out here in the open...? Let's see, Todoroki-kun, will you convince me to hate you and kill you on the spot or will I come to like you?'
I highly doubt the latter.
When you're in love...or what you think is love, you tend to forget about everyone and everything else in the world.
Even if it's a common emotion in this world, the first time feeling it will remain forever...
Like his flames.