Kitsunebi

by Mochacana

This was long before heroes and villains came about, this was long before Quirks came about, this...was long before she came about. How coincidental is it that the mistakes of her ancestors and family are placed on her? This is the story of a girl who wanted nothing more than love, life, and light...but only to yearn for death as she lives on. This time...can she be saved?

19. Kamilah Shimizu: Rising

I thought I'd never have fun at school again, but here I was.

A ten-year-old enjoying her time with accepting teenagers at a hero school she thought she'd never attend.

I seem to have nice friends, caring classmates, and a future potential career as a hero based on my quirk performance...or as a psychotherapist based on my academic performance. I do enjoy it here...

So why can't you do the same, older me?

Hey, it's me, retrograded ten-year-old you, Ami. There's no point in asking how you are doing because it's evident how based on your friends' reactions and the answers they've given me about you. I've also noticed you haven't changed much based on how Katsuki, Izuku, and Shoto are receptive to your negativity and sharp tongue.

Hey, do us both a favor. Stop acting like a bitch and live your life. I know that there are a handful of factors preventing you from doing that, but I think these factors are currently being handled.

As for your revenge on Jameela, I know you felt like you didn't do enough, but trust me, you've taken one thing away from her that gave her a living and now she's going to trial on seemingly multiple accounts of crime and misdemeanors. I'm so joyful that we're getting our justice, we were long overdue for some. Settle for this and let nature take its course, okay, Ami?

As for your revenge on Endeavor by playing with our little boy toy, I think you need to weigh your options. You can't live your life if you try to murder the number 1 hero of Japan, especially if he didn't outright try to kidnap you or attack you as Mama did. Toya never said he wanted you to take revenge on him either so you're doing this because you feel like it's compensation for all Toya's been through, it's compensation for Endeavor putting our Papa in jail, you think our death is compensation for being a part of why Toya died. I understand your pain, our pain, but I feel it stronger than you because it was only 3 years ago that happened. The scars are still fresh.

However, after the exposure to how much you have to live for...I realize that you shouldn't waste your life on such petty vengeance. Papa's out of jail now and killing Endeavor will not bring back Toya. The hurt I feel is something you've turned into a grudge. Just because he lamented to us doesn't mean Toya would want us to join him wherever he is.

On that depressing note, it's also a bit depressive how you constantly reject Katsuki. It's time to move on, Ami. Toya is just a ghost of the past that keeps returning to haunt you. No matter how much you deny him, you can't deny your younger self telling you that he cares about you a lot, he likes you...a lot; hell, it might even border on love. I've asked him about our current relationship and to be honest with you...I'm genuinely surprised you're making it difficult for some sparks to happen. Then again, I shouldn't be surprised. It is us.

Anyway, he's genuine, he's told me so many supportive words, he's exposed us on multiple accounts, and he continues to try to tear our walls down no matter how much we rebuild. Just give him a chance, stop running away from him.

One more thing for today's log, Shoto is upset with us. In the middle of a conversation with Izuku, I told him about our near-death experience with Mama, ya know, the one with the knives, and Shoto overheard. His Quirk went out of control, Katsuki got involved, and I got between the two and blocked his explosion, but I'm okay. We both know we'll always be fine. Katsuki was reasonably upset since he didn't want to hurt me and I know he regrets it because he looked like he was reliving our first physical encounter. Right after that little accident, Shoto said you and him had a small argument, and "things have returned to how they were before". I know what you're gonna do, don't even think about being buddy-buddy with just to use yourself as collateral death if you go against Endeavor. Tell Shoto the truth. Be real, no more lies...because I think he knows something about our connection to Toya. I am 100% sure they're related despite his denial of it. However, just in case he doesn't, I will not say anything.

End of Log Two.

I put the pencil down, scanning over the paper for any errors or missing information to include. If I could, I would write all the words Katsuki has spoken to me and would never in front of anybody else, but...

'That's too embarassing!' I fumbled in my head, covering my face with both hands and shaking my head in shame. 'Besides, the older me is the one who needs to hear all of that, not me.'

"Hmm...mghh..."

I turned the swivel chair around, facing the snoozing viridian who I had carefully levitated onto his bed sometime after he fell into dreamland on the floor. He insisted he'd be fine sleeping on the floor so I talked to him until he dozed off to move him.

It reminded me of when I would stay the night at Mrs. Midoriya's place when I was bored and no one was home or when Hakim would drop me off when he'd go stay at his friends' house, and our parents were on missions that lasted days to months. I'd have so much fun with Mrs. Midoriya and her adorable little copy. Good days.

"Mhh...mn..."

'I wonder what he's dreaming about over there? Or maybe it's the desk lamp bothering him.' I forced my Quirk to push the chair closer to the desk lamp so I could turn it off. I only needed it to see what I was writing. I only got 6 hours of sleep because we talked for so long last night and I woke up an hour ago to use the restroom, clean myself up, dress myself, and write what I thought important to tell my older self. It's 6:55 AM and I should wake up the sleeping bunny, but this fox didn't want to alarm him just yet.

How funny...the metaphors between us are true. The predator-prey relationship is where foxes thrive in the presence of rabbits whereas the rabbits thrive in the foxes' absence.

I smiled endearingly at the unaware prey, 'Katsuki was right. I morph myself into what anyone needs, but it never satisfies me at the end of the day...and that's where I take my leave once my work is done to go find another thrill.'

As much as I didn't want to think of my dear long-time friend in such a way, I can't lie that I had a selfish reason for sticking by his side. I was hoping Izuku could give me something meaningful in return, and for the longest, I thought he couldn't besides the basics.

But his words from last night...

"Open your heart to the world as you opened it to me, and you will find every reason to keep living in it."

Uh-oh...there it goes. I never thought it possible, but here I am.

How come I never noticed it? Am I that oblivious?

"I don't like the fact...that your father committed crimes, that you knew about this and didn't say anything to me for years. You lied, and yes, it hurts. But that doesn't change the fact that I..."

That doesn't change the fact that he likes me...more than as friends.

"It doesn't change the fact that whatever he did for you to be here, to be my friend, to grow up together...It doesn't make me upset."

It doesn't make him like me any less.

"I'm glad that I met you, Milah-chan."

I'm glad that you're in my life, Milah-chan.

"And if time were to rewind and I had the chance to never be associated with you ever again, I'd go after you again."

I'd go after you again and I'd never leave you alone again.

"You both might not see eye-to-eye. I think it's best-"

I think it's best if you stay with me so I can have you all to myself.

"Maybe if...you continue to live...and see the positive things in life...you might just find those improvements."

Maybe if I continue to live and see the positive things in life, he can't fix me, but he can improve me.

Am I that oblivious..or is Izuku the fox who deceived me so well? I've only got myself to blame for sticking around him so long...picking up traits of my fickle nature.

'Not me catching feelings. Well, it's not the older me catching feelings so I guess it's okay to thrive in this sensation. No one has to know. I'm not committed to anyone...but Katsu is in the lead so do your best, Izu.'

"Milah-chan?"

When I heard his voice, I didn't look straight at him, but my eyes were directed to the alarm clock on the nightstand behind his bed.

7:11 AM

"...Maybe this retrogression is a spiritual awakening of some sort," I spoke aloud to myself.

"..Hnnn?" he sleepily droned.

"Nothing."

'Just thinking about 6 impossible things before breakfast: one, I actually have a good life. Two: Papa is no longer imprisoned. Three: Two out of three of my Shizuoka childhood friends are "crushing" on me. Fourth: Regret and guilt come easily to me now. Five: I'm capable of letting go of the things that hold me back and weigh me down. Six: Love isn't as twisted as it used to be to me; therefore, I can love.'

"It's past 7?! I must've been so tired I missed the alarm at 6:30! Milah-chan, you could've woken me up! I wouldn't have been mad," he fumbled as he scrambled to get out of bed and rush to the restroom. "You need to get ready, too! We have to be to school by 8!"

"But I'm already ready to go," I informed him.

The bedhead viridian looked back at me, getting a groggy morning chuckle out of me since this was the first that I said anything in the past 6 hours.

He looked me over with a guilty look, "...Oh..."

"I didn't want to wake you because I kept you up late last night. I'm sorry, but thank you for indulging in our conversation. It was really eye-opening."

"To grieve deeply is to have loved fully". I grieved over Toya for so long; therefore, I have loved him fully...no matter how short our time was together. That short time of 2 years was a part of my everything. I'll never forget him...but I have to forget the pain and remember that what we built was not only just puppy love but pain, too.

Like my cousin Rora once said, "What relationship can blossom from just hurt? But it does take hurtful times to bloom into a beautiful forget-me-not."

"Are you...okay? You look..."

I purposely tilted my head and fluttered my eyelashes, "Look what?"

The winter morning sun lit the room a little from the slightly open All-Might-themed curtains, illuminating the rosy cheeks of the shy boy.

"The sunlight..makes your skin glow is all..."

It was with that mutter of a statement the viridian turned on his feet, entering his restroom with his uniform in hand.

"..."

When I heard the door shut, I slapped my hands over my feverish face and kicked my feet, resisting the urge to squeal aloud.

'Miss Uraraka is one lucky gal...'

---

Thanks to Izuku's fervency, we got to school just at 7:47 AM.

He insisted he give me a piggyback ride to which I agreed as long as he sets me down before we enter class.

"So...how did you sleep last night?"

"I slept well. You?"

"I expected to wake up with back pain, but...I guess you managed to move me when I said you can have the bed to yourself," there was a bemused lilt to his voice.

"Which is why I moved you...and because I wanted to cuddle you," I shamelessly admitted.

"Oh my-" the skittish boy cut himself short as he tried to keep from showing mortification which I giggled at.

"Say, Izu, I got a few questions about my high school life."

He, surprisingly, recovered fast, "Hm? Oh...I can't answer too many questions, considering we're not in the same class and we have few interactions unless our classes are using the same facilities."

"Is that so..." I wondered. "Well, do you know my class rank?"

He let out a hearty laugh, "Believe it or not, you're at the top of your class. You're beyond good at your academics and the way you strategize for your physical attacks to sync with your quirk is also amazing! I haven't seen you demonstrate it too much...but there was an incident in Hosu City and I got to see you in action against this genetically engineered experiment called a Nomu and you did great, you didn't even need any help! Also, we had a summer training camp recently in the Beats' Forest. After the second day, I noticed you'd go train by yourself a little far off so when training was done at the start of sunset, I'd watch you for a while. Another time I've seen you hold your own is some footage from the raid in Kamino after you and Kacchan were abducted by the League. I couldn't see everything due to the smokescreen you and Kacchan you created, but I knew you held your own! I've also seen you in action when both of our classes used a facility on campus to train! Your ideas in fighting stances and intricate ways on how to use your Quirk-"

"Midoriya."

He shut his lips, but I could tell how he felt since I noticed the tips of his ears turn bright red. He continued walking in a mute humiliation.

"I see your rambling mumbles have also stayed. Classic Izuku," I sighed, a laugh bubbling afterward. "Hmmhm, heh...I have another question about my older self."

My response got a chuckle out of him, too, "Hmm-mm...go ahead," he permitted as ascended the steps to the school.

"Since we're in separate classes and I keep a lot of things hush-hush, you may not know...and that's okay, but I'll ask anyway so..."

I knew what I was about to do. I just wanted to tease and give the adorable green bean a mini panic attack. I rest my head on his left shoulder and put my lips close to his ear.

"Do I have a boyfriend?"

Izuku twitched just before stopping on the final step. He went quiet again, an uncharacteristic reaction I wasn't expecting. I thought he had almost stopped breathing, too, until he let out a breathy laugh.

"I wouldn't know anything about that. Sorry," he gave a curt answer.

"Uh...okay..."

And I let that conversation die because his response gave me some chills.

Izuku walked into the school and kept his promise of setting me down when we got near the classroom.

"What took you so long, Deku?"

We looked away from each other at where the source of the voice came from. Katsuki was leaning next to the door leading into Class 1-A. His gaze was soft until it harshened as soon as it moved to a still reasonably stable Izuku, who...appeared a little sour in the face.

"I overslept. Milah-chan was already prepared and she had the decency to let me sleep in a little."

"Tch, should've known. You kept her up late with your nerdy antics," he pushed himself off the wall.

"No, he didn't," I vouched for him.

His eyes flicked down to me, his stare didn't ease this time. "Why didn't you come back to my room last night?"

"I figured I'd give you space after what happened." I tapped my bandaged forehead, "If you're worried about this, I got new bandages and rewrapped the wound. I also took some more pain medications Izuku gave me last night. I feel a lot better this morning."

"See? She's okay," Izuku concluded with a sigh. "I don't see why you should be so worried...you did this to her," he slyly uttered which didn't go unnoticed by either of us.

"What did you say?" Katsuki hissed.

I looked between the two with interest, 'What's this? I would stop it, but I wanna see where this goes. If it escalates to where it catches other students' attention or if they try to throw hands, only then I'll intervene.'

Is this the joy girls feel when boys fight over them?

"I said, "You did this to her"," Izuku...stood on business. "I understand that you have your pride, but you didn't even say sorry to Milah-chan last night. She deserves that at least. This is the second time this has happened. Don't you think she's overdue for an apology?"

"So that's what sets you off...but just so you can see what happens when I do..." he bitterly chuckled, then his sharp gaze moved to me.

My eyes narrowed at him as a sign of warning, "Don't even think about it. You didn't intentionally try to hurt me in the first place. It's not your fault that I chose to get in the way."

Katsuki huffed, "See? There was no point."

"But Milah-chan, even if it wasn't intentional, he should still apologize for hurting you. He could've gave you a concussion." Izuku sighed hopelessly, "It's like trying to teach you about fault and apologies all over again."

"You oughta know I take blame for everything by now," I cheesed.

The broccoli boy groaned in defeat, the visible fall of his head made my smile turn into a fit of giggles.

"I guess there isn't a point...but..." Izuku kept a stern look, "When you take the blame, you take the responsibility as well."

"I am."

A quick wave of emotion flooded his face before it settled for one of disturbed, "We'll see about that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked with a befuddled look.

Izuku gave me a quick, yet intimidating smile and he walked ahead of me, passing Katsuki, who looked a little triggered by his response. I followed closely behind, observing the boy's odd behavior.

"Hey, exactly what the Fox said! What are you gettin' at, Deku?!"

"I'm just saying we'll see how well Milah-chan takes responsibility when she returns to normal is all," he brushed off coolly, entering the classroom.

I studied the happy face he kept up, 'He's got something up his sleeve. I have to write that down to warn my older self later on.'

---

Dear, older me, classes went smoothly today. What didn't go smoothly...was around lunchtime.

I don't know what it is you've done to get these boys so attracted to you, but you need to stop. Like, immediately. This is too much for one chick to handle!

Despite everything that happened last night, the trio of Glad, Sad, and Mad surprisingly sat at one lunch table today. Since I'm unable to be left to my own devices at this time, I guess the trio took it seriously to watch me.

Mad is glaring at Sad, Sad is watching me like a hawk, and Glad is nervously staring between Mad and Sad.

"So..." I decided to break the ice on this threatening atmosphere. "Do I have any friends in Class 1-B?"

"As far as I know, you seem to be close with three students. Their names are Kinoko Komori, Itsuka Kendo, and Neito Monoma," Izuku answered my question, probably hoping to do the same with the tension.

I perked up at that, "I have..."girl" friends?"

"Yeah...is that bad or something?" Shoto asked me after swallowing some of his soba.

"Not "bad", it's just..." I looked at the donburi in my bowl. "I've had some negative interactions with girls in my classes in Iwa...and in the neighborhood, I currently live in here in Shizuoka."

"Huh...what kind-"

"I don't want to talk about them," I cut Izuku off before he could even get his question out. "Just know that my feelings were invalidated and I was bullied for my...physical characteristics." I looked between Izu and Katsu, "I'm sure you both would know about that."

Katsuki grunted and looked away from me, stuffing a piece of the spicy dish in his mouth, mapo tofu.

"O-Okay, understandable. I shouldn't have even asked," Izuku understood.

"Is there anything...or anyone...in your life that makes you happy?" Shoto craftily questioned.

I smiled, "Of course! I was just telling Izuku last night about how I would go on trips to South Korea with some family friends and my friends and I would play together almost every day! We didn't have access to cellphones or tablets like your average child nowadays so we made up games and we also did things like tree climbing, tossing rocks on the pond, and learning traditional dances our families have passed down for generations," I rambled. "When we were in closed spaces, like caves and forests, my big brother, and my friends that are technically relatives to me, used their Quirks for fun."

"Their quirks, huh? What about yours?" Izuku asked me with great interest.

I chuckled nervously, "Unfortunately...my quirk didn't come about until some time leading up to me and my big brother leaving Iwaizumi." I somberly reminisced on the memory, "I remember when I first discovered it, too. The very first thing I did..."

"Yeah?" Izuku asked excitedly.

Shoto leaned in with interest and Katsuki stopped chewing on his food.

"I locked myself in my room away from my family and I experimented with what I could do at the time."

Izuku's face scrunched up in puzzlement, "You...locked yourself away to experiment? I don't understand... Why do that exactly?"

"I was angry and I needed to take my frustration out on something. I didn't want to hurt anyone...I'm glad I made that decision, too, because by the time my Auntie had made an agreement with me and I came out of my room, my room was a total mess," I cracked up with light laughter.

"You didn't say why you were angry," Katsuki noted with a look of mixed curiosity and irritation.

The ends of my lips slyly curled up, "Good thing my quirk manifested just at the right time...or my lie of beating those kids up wouldn't have been believed, and my big brother and cousins would've taken the punishment."

"...As crazy as it is...that was a risky, but genius move, Milah-chan," Izuku complimented with a disturbed expression.

I shrugged, "My mother and uncle paid for their hospital bills, they were fine. Because of that, I didn't face any penal punishment from the authorities...even though the legal age for minors to be charged is 14, but anyway. As for some of the parents who instigated their kids to try and drown me...as you all already know, they're facing jail time."

"As they should," Katsuki growled, clearly upset with my revelation. "Serves those fuckers right."

"Mhm!" I hummed with a firm nod.

"Kamilah, do you know exactly when you found out you can enhance the power behind others Quirks?" Shoto asked, staring at me with...critique.

I blinked and my mouth hung open, "...I can do that?"

"Never mind that question, I guess," Izuku snickered. "That's something I assume she learned sometime later in her teenage years."

"That sounds awesome. I could always control an external factor of someone's quirk, but I never knew I could enhance the power of someone else's quirk, too." A look of disbelief flashed across my features, "I didn't...kill anyone yet, have I?"

"YET?!" Izuku shouted with a panicked look.

"Judging from your reaction, guess not," I shrugged.

"Who knows...Maybe you have, and you just don't remember right now," Shoto suggested, returning his hawk-like stare.

Katsuki smacked his shoulder, "Insensitive bastard."

'Says him,' I remarked in my head, taking more bites of my donburi.

"Oh, speaking of not remembering...Milah-chan, a while back, I met your cousin, Furora, and she gave me her phone number for just-in-case reasons. I don't think your current situation warrants a phone call to her, but I'm sure she's worried about you. Do you want to-"

"Yes, please!" I jumped at him to which he flinched back in surprise. "I've been anxious to know what's going on outside of this school and it's driving me crazy. Since I can't get ahold of any info with the three stooges holding me hostage..." I gave each of them a glare, "I at least want to know how Rora is doing."

"S-Sure..." Izuku agreed, already having his phone out to contact my cousin.

"Now that I think about it..." I gave Izuku a suspicious look.

"Hm? What is it?" he asked as he put the phone up to his ear.

"...Nah, you're not the type to outwardly flirt," I concluded with a huff.

It was just then that I heard a melodic voice ring through the other side of the line when Izuku began to stammer and cave in on himself with a bright red face, arms crossing over his face.

["Hiii, Midoriya!"]

"O-Oh, h-hey, Sh-Shimizu. I-I'm sorry if this is an inconvenient time to be calling. I know you're most likely at school, but I'm calling because-"

["No, no, no. No inconvenience at all! You...or Todoroki can call me any time! So Midoriya...are you and my cous like...close?"]

Izuku got quiet, "...Huh?"

["Ya know. Are you both girlfriend and boyfriend? Because if y'all aren't, how do you think we would look together?"]

As soon as Izuku's face bloomed into that pretty red, I snatched the phone from his stilled hand. His body became stiff, but he was still a little jittery.

"After all these years...you're still a major flirt, huh, Rora? What's your type? The shy and innocent? Or the cool and collected?"

Rora gasped, ["Ami? That you? I know that voice from anywhere!"]

"Yep," I confirmed.

["Aunt Li called me and told me what happened to you. It's been years since I heard your voice like this, but I know that attitude from anywhere from the letters you sent me over the years. Girly, how did you get yourself caught up in this mess?"]

"Ion know," I laughed at how I said it and the slip of my accent. "One moment, I wake up on Joonie's lap and he's ridin' a motorcycle, next thing I know one of my childhood friends found me lookin' like a kicked puppy."

She laughed, too, ["Sounds chaotic. I also saw what happened on the news at your school and Aunt Li informed me on that matta, too. You know I never liked ya mama and I had good reason not to. You okay, Blossom?"]

"If I say no, I'm gonna be interrogated so...yes."

She clicked her tongue, ["Don't be messy."]

"No promises," I sang.

["Hmmm...if Midoriya is there with you...then surely Todoroki is there with you, too, right?"]

My eyes moved to the soba-slurping heterochromatic, who still kept his eyes on me. He was scrutinizing me with his intense stare.

I moved them back down to my cuisine, "Yeah. Wait, how do you know-"

["I introduced myself to him at an event called the Provisional License Exam. It's the first time we've seen each other since your 7th birthday. You've bloomed into a beautiful girl, Blossom!"]

I felt the blush sneak up on me and I groaned, "...Don't call me beautiful."

["But you are! You looked so beautiful, all the boys on the floor wanted a piece of that cake! That aside, remember when I wrote to you that I had a crush on Endeavor?"]

"Yeah..." I droned with bitterness.

["But when I saw his son at the Sports Festival on TV... Girl, those butterflies transferred. He's so fine!"] she squealed like a fangirl. ["And then I saw him in person at the License Exam...oh my gosh, I couldn't help but flirt with him! How do you not fold beneath all that heat?!"]

"And you call me messy..." I rasped, taking another bite of my donburi.

["But there was one problem?"]

"That is?" I asked with mock interest.

["Todoroki, or "Roki" as I call him, was only interested in you. I don't have a problem with it, but with how enamored he was about you, I thought you two were dating. You clarified that you both weren't so...that means Roki is still up for grabs."]

I made a distasteful look by scrunching my mouth up, "I'm...so disgusted with myself. I ruined something that could've been great...I always do."

["What do you mean by that, Ami?"]

I didn't notice the scarred hand Izuku placed on my shoulder because I was so enraptured with the reflections of myself, that I darkened the tiniest bit of light, any spec of hope.

Rora sounded heartbroken by my self-degradation. For a bougie country girl, she finds beauty in the ugliest of things. With her kind of attitude, anyone would think she's a high-class diva from the backwoods who attends school in the city to get away from her origins.

However, they'd be in a world of hurt when they found out she's nothing like that. I never understood why Rora would call me "Blossom", but it's starting to click. I am...ugly. Maybe not physically, but mentally. Though I think I still have those parts of me, it's never too late for improvement.

Dear, Ami, take Rora's nickname seriously. Stop groveling in your toxic ways because it's time for this sprout to bloom.

"But...that's okay. Plants have to look ugly before they bloom, right?"

["...Oh, my Lord. She finally gets it! Well...this you anyway. Tell your older self this when she gets older, 'kay?"]

"Planned to." A memory surfaced, warranting me to ask her, "Hey, Rora...whatever happened to Thing 1 and Thing 2?"

["The terrible twins? Honestly, I haven't heard anything since the License Exam, but what I did hear was that Mika didn't pass, but Miya did. He made a scummy move and used her as a shield to try to get you taken out of the game. Though it was school against school, the administrators found this behavior unacceptable because it was instigated by a personal grudge."]

"Wow...that's too damn bad," I snickered. "What happened then?"

["I heard he was given another chance with some remedial courses. I don't know if he passed or not. I haven't been contact with ma or pa lately. By the by, I heard Todoroki and Bakugo were sent there, too."]

My eyes bugged out as I turned my attention to a still-staring Shoto, then to a frowny-faced Katsuki.

"What are ya lookin' at, pipsqueak?" he asked.

My left eye twitched, "S...S-Sur...Surely, you're not talking about the Bakugo and Todoroki I know, Rora."

Both of their body posture became rigid.

"The hell is that tall girl tellin' ya?" Katsuki leaned over the table with a somewhat intimidating glare.

["Well, I don't think there are any other Bakugo and Roki that attend Yuuei in the hero course, but if there is another Todoroki...like if he has any older brothers, lemme know."]

I grinned, "Oh, Rora...if only you knew. I'll give you the rose tea when I return to normal. Hopefully, I remember. If I don't, I'll write down a little reminder to put your number in my cellphone."

["Okay, I'll talk to you later and...get better? I guess? You're not sick...but it's whatevs! By the way, Blossom, just a lil' message to relay to ya 17-year-old self to start you off somewhere..."]

I leaned in closer to the cell phone as if I were physically next to her for her to whisper in my ear. "Shoot."

["TELL CUH TO MAKE A MOVE ALREADY!"]

At a breakneck speed, I moved my head away from the phone with a closed eye and gritted my teeth at her scream.

Before I could try to talk to her again, the phone call had ended and I noticed that the background to the phone call was a picture of her and Izuku standing side-by-side.

Of course, this wasn't any ordinary picture. She had her arm wrapped around Izuku's waist and she leaned her head on top of his. Her lips were puckered towards the camera, it's like she was about to kiss his forehead. Knowing her, she might've.

In this picture, I also noticed Izuku looking as if he was about to pass out. If I didn't know someone well and they had their breasts in my face or their hip pressed into my side like they were about to sit on my lap, I'd

Ever since Rora and I were arm babies, she was a flirty and fun soul. She was like that towards everyone so it was harmless. I've never seen a flower girl truly in love before...

For some reason, my eyes returned to Katsuki and they dropped from his face to his chest. He wasn't wearing his tie and two of his buttons were unbuttoned so I could see his plump chest a little.

'I wouldn't mind those being in my face though...'

I came to an epiphany.

Where were these thoughts coming from?

I put Izuku's phone on the table, then proceeded to grip the edge of the lunch table and began to hit my head against it.

"Stop, intrusive thoughts. Stop, intrusive thoughts. Stop, in-"

My forehead landed in the palm of a hand, preventing me from bamming my head against it anymore. I didn't have to look up to see who my chronium's savior was.

"Milah-chan, stop it! Did you forget that you hurt your head last night? You might reopen the wound. What did Shimizu even say for you to react like that?"

I nuzzled my head into his head, "It's not what she said, it's what I was thinking that made me react like that. Izu, Katsu, Sho..."

"Yeah?" Izuku responded.

"Hm?" Shoto hummed.

"Spit it out," Katsuki pushed.

Raising my head from Izuku's scarred rough hand, I put my right hand over my forehead, the inside felt like it was splitting open; I didn't express it because that would only concern the trio more and I wouldn't be able to attend classes for the rest of the day.

"I think...my memory is returning."

---

Dear, Ami...

"Pst! Shimizu!"

I think we're about to make a new friend.

I looked in the direction of the voice from across the room. It was the redhead whom I've come to know as Eijirou Kirishima.

Kirishima appears to be friendly, but I'm unsure if you've interacted with him a lot before I came along. The one thing I've never done was try to make a friend on my terms. Shoto was a special case; Izuku stalked us until we did become his friend and the rest was history; Katsuki is not a friend, but he's not an enemy either. So this is my chance...

He waved me over from near the lounge section. I looked around to see if any of the traffic light trio were around. When I saw that they were busy discussing amongst themselves, I took the opportunity to dash over to where Kirishima was.

"Yes?" I asked, approaching him.

"Listen, I know you've been having it rough lately and everything's been confusing. I'm not sure if you're into this kinda stuff, but I bought this to make you feel just a tiny better."

I wasn't expecting him to pull a giant teddy bear from behind his back. It was purple, it had beady black buttons for eyes and a typical smile just below its black boop of a snout. The inside of the ears were blue and it had...a blue hamsa symbol on its belly.

He held it out to me, "I hope that symbol doesn't offend you. I asked Iida to do as much research as he could on that symbol. I found out its a universal symbol that represents strength and other things I can't remember. I thought you'd like it."

I gently pried it from his hands, holding it up so I could see how oversized it was. My head began to hurt again...and I saw a brief flash of the same symbol except it was on the palm of two hands, stretching towards me as if about to pick me up or hug me.

I hugged it close to me, "With what little stories my mother told me, my grandmother bared these symbols on her palms.

Kirishima gulped, a look of distraught downcasting on him, "Uh...is that a...bad thing? I mean, if it is, I can get rid of it right now! I'm sorry if I offended you in any way or brought about bad memories! My intentions were pure, I swear!"

By now, the poor guy was on his hands and knees, begging me. I simultaneously found it precious and funny. I set the bear to my right and placed my left hand on top of his head.

"No, it's not offensive to me at all. My grandmother was a kind lady. She was an activist during a genocidal revolt in Libya; she died for the cause of helping people. It might appear offensive to a lot of people, but not to me because you took the time to find out the meaning and buy it for me. Thank you, Kirishima. I'll treasure it."

My only question was how did I even know this information? I don't recall my mother or anyone ever telling me that. If my memories are coming back to me at this rate, how long would it take for me to return to normal?

Kirishima lifted his head. He looked like a sad puppy who found happiness in something again. The gesture reminded me of Joon-Woo.

'I miss my little devil,' I inwardly pouted.

"I'm...glad that it doesn't offend you, but I'm also sorry about your loss."

I dismissively shook my head, "It's okay. I never met her."

Kirishima looked a little hurt by my words when it should've been me. I got worried because I didn't want him to see me as heartless or aloof so I put on a smile.

"It would hurt more if I had...is what I'm trying to say."

"I guess you have a point there," he understood, returning a smile.

"Kirishima, if you wouldn't mind, I have a request."

He leaned closer, "What do ya need?"

Before I could even get a word out, we both heard a surprised wail echo throughout the room. We turned our attention to the source of the sound. Not too far away, I saw a younger boy, probably around 6 or 7 years old. He has black hair and black eyes. He wore a white button-up and black shorts, and he had on white socks.

Automatically figuring out that the boy was visiting due to his shoes being left at the entrance and the four unrecognizable people striking poses not far from him, I turned my full attention to the boy.

I tilted my head, blinking twice, staring at the boy like an anomaly. To me, he was because I didn't know who he was and I'd never seen him before.

"What...happened to her, Mr. Deku?"

"Uh! Um! A-About her situation! She's just small for the time being!" Izuku had a panic attack, flailing his hands about.

"This didn't happen...because of me, did it?" the boy asked him with disappointment.

"Nonononononononono! Not at all, Kota! You see, Milah-chan got herself into a..." He seemed to be searching for a term to describe my situation, "A, uh, a quirk accident."

"A quirk accident?" the surrounding students questioned the term.

To help Izuku out, I decided to agree with his terms; I also understood what he was talking about.

"Yeah, I did get stuck between a rock and a hard place. Don't worry, I won't stay like this forever."

His shoulders lifted at hearing me say assuring words, but he didn't make eye contact, "Do you know for how long?"

"Not sure, but I don't think it'll be long now."

"Mm," he hummed with a nod. "Miss Kamilah, I'm unsure if you ever got my letter, but just in case you didn't, I wanted to thank you for helping me back at the camp."

"Ah?" I voiced my concern.

"I guess you didn't. That might be the reason why your older brother sent me a letter back, saying that he appreciates I sent you one."

I blinked, "...Hah?" I looked up at a sweating Izuku, "What's this kid talkin' 'bout, Zu?"

"I don't understand what's happening right now," a woman with medium-long blond hair and blue eyes voiced her confusion.

"I wouldn't intervene. Just let it happen," the boy known as Hanta Sero sheepishly informed.

"Remember that training I told you about in the Beast's Forest?"

I remembered that was a part of last night's conversation so I nodded, "Yeah. What about it?"

With a smile, Izuku motioned his hands towards the confused boy, "This was the boy I was telling you about, the one you helped me save," he informed. "I know this is a bit of a surprise, Kota, but with the state, Milah-chan is in, she doesn't remember anything above the age of 7...or 10, supposedly."

I waved at the boy and gave a welcoming smile, "Nice to...see you again? I'm sorry. I honestly don't remember anything, but I'm glad I assisted in your aid.

He didn't say anything firsthand. The boy only stared at me with novelty, like I was a foreign object. I caught a glimpse of red sprouting on his cheeks when I tilted my head in pure curiosity because he hadn't said anything.

"Um...you good...?"

"K...Kota. I'm Kota... It's good to see you're doing...good...I guess...Miss Milah."

He appeared to be bashful, but something told me that wasn't his usual behavior despite not remembering him. I may remember him subconsciously since this body still belongs to my older self.

His behavior reminded me of Izuku's...

"Uh-oooh, does someone have a little cru-"

"SHUT IT!" he yelled at the older man who was a part of the group.

But his mannerisms remind me of Katsuki.

A smirk slipped on my face accompanied by some muffled laughter. I approached the boy at a slow pace. When I had my arms wrapped around him and my cheek pressed on top of his hat due to my taller height, I began to spill my adoration on the temperamental shy boy.

"It's like a 2 in 1 package! You're so cute!" I squealed, swaying side to side with him in my arms.

"Wha...agh...haah?" the poor boy didn't know how to return the gesture or express himself.

"I'm so sorry about her, Kota! Milah-chan has this condition of when she sees something...or someone she adores, she can't help but hug them," Izuku summarized the sudden flourish of passion.

Kota began to get the jitters, but I assumed he didn't dislike my embrace because he didn't try to push me away.

"Awww, she likes you back!" the woman with the auburn bob cheered.

"I NEVER SAID I LIKED HER!"

---

Dear, Ami, we never cared to become a hero even when Papa was one. That disregard turned to hate once Mama tried to kill us and we had to beg for our life with an outcome that would've benefited her.

But now, we no longer live under her terror. We may not be out of the woods yet because I don't think any final hearings have been made, but still.

Maybe...becoming a hero isn't so bad, but I do understand if that's a decision you still don't want to make.

Speaking of decisions, that interaction with Kirishima went well! He gave us a teddy bear with the hamsa symbol! I'm starting to think I only know what it is because of you. I said something to him I was never told. I wonder if this is a sign you're trying to come back...?

Before I could ask him if he wanted to be friends, we were interrupted by some visitors who visited Class 1-A: the Wild, Wild Pussycats, and Kota came along with them, too. He puts up a tough demeanor on the outside, but I think he's soft on the inside. I'm glad you saved him. He even said his parents would be happy to meet me and receive a letter from big bro because they looked up to our family!

Izuku told me everything about what happened in the Beast's Forest last night after my little accident. He also informed me of everything else since he entered UA: details from the entrance exam, quirk apprehension test, battle trials, the trap in the USJ, the Sports Festival, the Hosu Incident, final exams, the "Kamino Nightmare", the Provisional Hero License Exam, his intern mission involving the Shie Hassaikai, and the UA School Festival which is when I appeared. Not too long ago asked him about Katsu and Sho passing the exam, and his answer explained what Rora told me earlier.

I just keep being reminded of left-out subjects, lol. Furora gave Izuku his number after the exam so she could stay in contact with me through him...but as I'm sure you know, she has other intentions, too. At lunch, Izuku called her and let me talk to her to get some familiarity and comfort. He, Sad, and Mad were protecting me like guard dogs today. -_- Rora's doing well. She also said she hasn't been staying in contact with Aunt Koko and Uncle Amari. I haven't seen those two in years...

Anyway, I'm glad you decided to transfer here. Not only would you be surrounded by unfamiliar faces at Ketsubutsu or Shiketsu, but our current situation would be more complex if you attended either of those schools. After the four heroes visit, everyone tuned into the Hero Rankings so I took the time to sneak upstairs into Izuku's room to write all this down in a notebook I keep hidden under his mattress. I'll figure out a way to put this in your dorm.

End of Log Three.

I closed the notebook and sighed, reaching over to grab the plush teddy bear. Pushing myself away from the desk, I hopped down from the swivel chair and put the notebook in the "special hiding place".

Before I lifted the bed with Psyka, I moved my head toward the colorful red, white, and blue curtains. Using my psychokinesis to push the blinds apart, I walked over with both items in hand, using my power to unlock the latch and slide the door open.

Stepping outside toward the border separating the balcony and a plunge to your death, I stared up at the night sky for a while, admiring the twinkling stars.

"I got you, moonlight. You're my...starlight..." I sang.

I went into an instant hysteria when I felt my feet no longer touching the ground. I didn't scream so no one would be alarmed, but I was panting heavily and flailing my hands about, but I made sure to keep my grip on the notebook and teddy bear.

"What the heck?"

My assumption of someone lifting me was thrown out the window when I didn't feel hands on me, and it was most definitely about to be thrown over guard rails when I floated upside down.

Finding myself upside down, staring into Izuku's bedroom, I was in utter stupefaction at my abrupt levitation from the ground. I figured panicking wouldn't do me any good in this situation so I practiced the breathing exercises Auntie taught me in one of our sessions.

'Breath, Ami...it's okay. This might be...a new development with your Quirk or levitating is something I'm able to do in the future. I don't think quirk development stops, it just continues to grow.'

Shaking the overthinking thoughts away, I swayed my right hand back to see what would happen. My body moved in the same direction and I was officially no longer over the balcony.

"Just don't look at the ground and I'll be fine," I comforted myself, returning my eyes to the night sky.

The more I stared up at the glittery sky, the more I felt my body ascending. The action made me want to try something, I thought of wanting to return to an upright position because the upside-down position is more disorienting. I'm used to hanging from couches or trees in that position because I'm in control, but since I'm currently not...

'Maybe this works like how my psychokinesis works. I mean, why wouldn't it? Levitation is a part of the telekinetic spectrum.' I chuckled aloud, 'I knew I felt like I was floating when I jumped the school's gate.'

My body did as exactly as I wanted it to and turned upside right. I exclaimed a mix of relief and amusement. I was unsure of how far up I was from the ground, but I refused to look down to see.

The air was much clearer up here. The moon was brighter. The stars were brighter. I felt lighter, too.

'Wherever you are...I wonder if you're watching the sky, too, Toya.'

Jostling the ever-lingering memory of him away, I turned my head in the direction of a nearby dormitory. Using this extended power of Psyka, I moved my body in the direction of the dormitory. I levitated the notebook and teddy bear to sit perfectly on the roof.

Like a new pilot of an aircraft, I had a bumpy descent, even so, I successfully landed on my hands and feet on top of the roof. Standing up on wobbly feet, I took cautious steps to the front of the building. Gripping the edges as I looked over to see the letter and number on the building, catching myself from looking at the ground when I heard the familiar voices of Miss Mandalay and Miss Ragdoll.

'They did say they needed to visit Class 1-B after they were done catching up with 1-A...so this must be the building...' I shuffled back on my knees and hands, 'Hey, me! If you're in there somewhere, please gimme a sign of where your dorm is!'

For a moment, nothing happened. I expected it and I waited a bit more since I had a feeling this process wouldn't be instant.

My head began to hurt again as I saw another one of those visions. This time, I saw a bedroom with an array of soft blues, pastel purples, and black.

Like how I would find myself talking out of term in those rare moments, I was up on my feet and moving toward the said location I was shown. When I was about to jump from the rooftop, I shut my eyes tight. It felt like I was freefalling until the wind stopped rushing through my braided hair. Peeking my left one open, I was greeted with my reflection, hovering over a balcony decorated with some plants and flower pots.

Recognizing some plants thanks to gardening with Furora, I was overcome with a sense of solace. My dorm's balcony looked fresh and colorful like her flower garden and Aunt Li's vegetable-fruit garden.

'So I cared for these to remind me of them while I'm here...That's nice,' I thought while balancing myself to land on my feet.

Stumbling forward, I caught myself against the glass. The periwinkle curtains obscured my vision of what was inside. If everyone's balcony worked the same...then...

I jumped at the sound of hearing something unlatch. Smiling at my mini-achievement, I used my unoccupied hand to slide the door open and step in past the currents. It is my room so I didn't feel like I was invading someone's personal space.

'If the overhead light switches are the same, too...then that means...' I looked deeper into the darkness of the room where the door was and the appearance of light let me observe the room.

My bedroom looked different from the one at home, which was royalty-like. The only reason why I accepted the design at home is because Uncle Rio put his best into designing it. I assume my newly designed place of living displayed my personality.

My bed was decorated with a periwinkle duvet and a singular mauve pillow. I had plushies of all kinds: a black fox, a tiger, 2 black dogs with horns, a sunflower, a green bunny, a beige puppy, and a blue dragon surrounded the other plushies.

My floor was decorated with a cornflower blue rug. In the center was a black snake...eating itself. I had no idea what that meant so I kept observing the rest of my room.

There was a black swivel chair with a glass-like color cover enfolding it and a plush pillow in the seat of the same color, a black vanity standing next to a black desk. The vanity held arrays of perfume, skincare products, lotions, and light makeup like mascara, lipstick, and gloss. The desk had drawers on each side and the table held a bookshelf most likely nailed against the wall. The shelf held multiple books that had titles like "psychology", "sociology", "humanities", "philosophy", and a couple of action, comedy, romantic comedy, and sci-fi manga.

I had the usual closet and bathroom, but I decided not to go explore those since I was here for one reason and I'm on a time crunch. Lifting my blanket with both hands, I waited for a few minutes. The notebook and teddy bear came rushing in. The notebook slid under the blanket while I perched the teddy bear next to her plushies.

"Okay, now to get back..." I let go of the blanket and stepped back outside after returning everything to normal.

---

I knocked on the door, anxiously awaiting the person to answer the door.

Dear, Ami, what I'm doing might be dangerous.

I heard footsteps approach the door when they got close.

I'm unsure of how he perceives me...or us, but I'm not going to leave him to his thoughts so he makes assumptions and puts more distance between us.

The door creaked open at first. I couldn't see him due to how dark it was inside his room or in the hallway. Everyone was asleep.

I don't want him not to trust us. I trust that you'll make the right decision with him. He doesn't deserve this.

"What are you doing here at this time of night?"

"I wanted to speak to you."

He was quiet for a bit, "...About what?"

"About what happened the other night. I know you didn't gain any closure from that. I...wanted to apologize again. I shouldn't have hidden such a sensitive topic from you and I shouldn't have lied to you about what goes on around when you're not around. You weren't the only one, Izuku and Katsuki were victims of my manipulation, too."

"...There's no point in apologizing if you might not even remember anything when you return to normal," he brushed my apology off.

"Well, it's what counts at the moment," I reasoned, not giving up just yet. "But you have a right to be upset with me and I'll understand if you no longer want to be my...friend...if we were even that before I retrograted."

He didn't reply at all this time.

I looked down at my feet in shame, "If that's the case, you'd be doing yourself a favor. The older version of myself seems to be more of a twisted person than she was when she was little. I at least wanted you to know that this me wants to remain friends, regardless of all the contradictions in the past."

"..."

I put a hand over my chest, unsure if he could see, "This me...I find myself being able to make amends. It doesn't make any sense because the scars should be more fresh at this age... Maybe this retrogression is some sort of trial, a test, or...a chance at righting my wrongs."

Hearing a deep inhale, I looked up to the barely there shadow in the darkness. The door opened further and the overhead light nearly blinded me hadn't it been for his shadow blocking the door?

"Come in," he sighed, turning away from me and walking further into his bedroom.

Taking the opportunity he'd given me, I walked in and closed the door behind me. The fact that his room was designed in a traditional Japanese tatami format didn't surprise me at all.

He began to roll up his futon.

"I accept your apology...for what it's worth," he acknowledged. "Midoriya and Bakugo have been keeping information about the outside concerning your family. I only complied so we both wouldn't get in trouble."

I furrowed my brows, "What?"

"Your family has taken Mrs. Shi...Ms. An-Nur to court for 4 trials on multiple accounts of misdemeanors and crimes. One of her crimes is a plan of murder on my father, who will be giving his testimony about her and the events of your father's capture the night he tried to "abduct" you. Because of the amount of actions and how well-covered her steps were, it's taking longer to determine if she is guilty or not. Even if she isn't guilty, I think the court and jury would decide for her to be put on house arrest, suspend her from her duties as a hero for the time being, or make her perform community service. As for Mr. Shimizu, your father, he's been to court already, but not for his past actions as a villain. It's for custody over you. That decision won't be made until the police department is done with the investigation of Ms. An-Nur and decides where she stands. That leaves room for her to keep custody of you until you're 20 years old. The restraining order on Dr. Chinen has been null and void and she has been reinstated as your legal guardian for now. Your brother is no longer being hospitalized and Fujisaki knows about your situation so there's no need to worry about him."

"...You..."

"As for you...you are being investigated for falsification of identification, assault with a weapon, and attempted murder on your mother. In a separate trial that Dr. Chinen attended on your behalf, the court determined your mother was no longer taking action after you because of her slow movements...but you proceeded to use your Quirk and stab her eyes out. There has been speculation that a student recorded your fight and posted it all over the internet. I'm sure Midoriya informed you about the "UA traitor" from the USJ incident so the staff are now taking extra precautions. Your case also leads to a possible lawsuit against a modeling company and cafe workplace you faked your age to work for so you can save money to bail your father out of Tartarus prison. That money is technically illegal. Tartarus may face consequences for accepting your money. Your brother may also face consequences for being an accomplice in accepting your money."

I couldn't believe all of what I was hearing. I couldn't believe the justice system was doing their jobs and trying to get to the bottom of the "Prestigous Shogunate Family of Japan".

"There hasn't been any further news, but I speculate that you could end up in three places. The first is a prison cell, the second is in your family's care and expelled from UA, and the third...is in a laboratory where your remains will be used and studied by the Hero Commissions or the government."

Of course. I expected it. With great power comes great responsibility. With great responsibility comes great consequences. My older self may have been preparing for this...and so have I.

We were expecting death from the very beginning...but now I think that to be a great mistake. But now that nearly everything has been said and done...

"...I"ll take whatever and any punishment necessary. I just want my family and friends to be happy with or without me."

The flicker of a flame on his cheek didn't go unnoticed by me as Shoto's body straightened and his posture became tense.

"You...don't want to fight for your freedom. You're just gonna sit there and take whatever unjust punishment is given to you. That's it?"

"And that's all," I concluded. "I've caused enough damage as is. I don't see this ending in any other way than... As a 5th grader said to me long ago, "Do you know what happens to villains, Shimizu? They either end up in jail or on the street somewhere, dead."

"...Someone said that to you?"

"People say a lot of things like that to me, Shoto. I just don't feed into it, but at least it makes me human to feel that it hurts when I make the things these people say come true." I smiled at him, "I expect nothing but from you as well."

He gritted his teeth, and his right side began to emit frosty air, "Don't you dare compare me to those kinds of people."

"Now you sound like Katsuki..." I mumbled nonchalantly. "I only expected you to treat me the same based on your behavior from the last few days. You were so much nicer when we were younger...and I had to ruin that for you. I can't help to feel that there's a reason why I wanted to...hurt you."

Shoto opened his mouth to say something, but I think whatever he planned on saying was something he thought he could never come back from, judging from that cold expression on his face.

"Say it," I egged on, approaching him. "Whateva you gotta say, get it off yo' chest. You'll feel a hella lot better, I promise you that."

Shoto turned his head away from me, "...Leave."

"No, I won't. I want you to say what's been on ya mind, what's been in ya heart. I can't stand this...whatever this is! You're hot, then you're cold! You seem as if ya don't know what to say to me at times! If you let me know, I could clarify and allieviate whatever negative feelings you're holding!"

Shut up.

"Kamilah...leave. Now's not the time for this."

Just do as he says!

"I will not! The least I can do is leave you here with a peace of mind and the decision to never interact with me ever again!"

You stubborn little shit! He might try to kill you!

"A peace of mind, huh? What if me hurting you is a part of my peace of mind?"

Stop it, please!

"Then, so be it. If hurting me makes you feel better, I'll just tell everyone I had an accident."

"Is that what you told your family when you killed Toya?"

Anger.

Frustration.

Helplessness.

Fear.

Guilt.

Loneliness.

Overwhelmed.

Resentment.

Failure.

Sadness.

Hollow.

I didn't have any time to thoroughly feel any of that when I walked through the front door to my home that morning.

I didn't have any time to thoroughly feel any of that when I was hospitalized.

I didn't have any time to thoroughly feel any of that before I met Shoto.

I didn't have any time to thoroughly explain myself to him because I found myself in a heap of a mess, tears sliding down my face, sniffling, hiccuping, heart pounding, sobbing, hyperventilating, panicking, trying...

Trying to process the feelings I morphed into Toya's anger for his mistreatment.

"Did you?" his question remained.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I was afraid of what I would see. I would be afraid if I...would be abandoned. I don't know why I felt that way. Was it because it felt like Toya abandoned me? Was it because it felt like he wouldn't understand me even if I tried to explain myself?

'Why am I crying? I have no right to cry. Would it be easier to just say "yes" and let Shoto hurt me? I hurt him...in more ways than one so it's only right he returns the favor.'

Open your heart to the world as you opened it to me, and you will find every reason to keep living in it.

Open my heart.

That's it.

That's my problem.

I have to do it so the older me can live without burden, so she can continue to make amends.

I refuse to die. I'll cheat death again one way or another. She won't have me.

"I...I...didn't...I-I'd...neh-ver...He le...le-eft...me...a..alone..."

What I didn't expect was the two-toned boy to drop to his knees and wrap his arms around my body in a cool-warm embrace. The embers and misty air of his quirk were dissipating.

Dear, Ami...

"Thank...you," he muttered. "Thank goodness..."

I think I made the right choice...

I returned the embrace, wrapping my arms around his neck and continuing my outburst of emotions into his white t-shirt.

Because I feel so much better.

"I didn't want to...I didn't want to be like him...I didn't want to hurt you... You're too pretty to hurt."

---

'She just had to go and throw a wrench in my plans.'

I sighed, watching the "leaked" footage of the "unfair" fight between the nomu and her. I wasn't too happy about Shigaraki sending that thing after her, but it's not like I could join the League and voice my concerns about it.

'My little doll's gotten stronger...more skilled...'

Standing up from the crate, I walked near the entrance of the warehouse, keeping my eyes on the video. She was holding up against the thing well...then I noticed that green haired kid approaching her once she fell to the ground.

My grip on the phone tightened, 'It's because of people like him is the reason why Kami is at her most vulnerable, mentally speaking. I'm unsure where she is as of now, but...it won't be long before I get to her thanks to bird brain.'

I also noticed a familiar face approaching. It was none other than my little brother, Shoto. If one of the lackey's didn't stop recording right there, I would've broken my phone.

'Shoto...is changing her. There's no way in hell Kamilah would let him touch her even if she was falling unconscious. It's only a matter of time before I bring her back to where she really belongs...in my arms.'

Throughout my thoughts, I didn't notice there was a suggested video of Kami about to play in the next 3 seconds.

Rui Ramzi or should we say, "Kamilah Shimizu"?

Somewhat interested in hearing what a random person on the internet has to say about my Doll, I let the video play.

["Welcome back to another episode of the Mysterious Serious Series! Today, we'll be focusing on the topic of the hot model on the spot, Rui Ramzi! Or should we say the new face of the top hero family in Japan, Kamilah Shimizu?"]

This person put a side-by-side photo of my dolled-up girl with makeup consisting of eyeliner, brown mascara, red lipstick, mocha brown blush, and dyed maroon brown curly hair. She also wore gray contacts. My baby doll wore an orange halter top and a matching thigh-high skirt. Her brown skin was glistening with whatever oil she had on. She posed salaciously in front of a camera hovering above her, making it look like she was upside down. It looked like she had honey on her fingers and she stuck her tongue out to lick them.

"...fuckin' delicious..."

The other photo showed her from months ago, days before the Hosu Incident, where she had grabbed the petty thief's gun and put it to her head. She dared to look him in the eyes with a fearless gaze.

"...still look good..."

["Let's start with the persona she took on as a role model. Rui Ramzi is a Libyan-Japanese model who debuted at the age of 20. Her beauty immediately caught the eyes of American modeling agencies as well as Asian modeling agencies. She signed with a popular American modeling agency through a Japanese agent with high notoriety. Not much is known on the model's private life."]

"Even if that was the case, I doubt Kami would want to put her business out on display..."

["She isn't just your standard and average model either! Not only did her beauty catch the public eye, but so did her personality. She's eccentric, impulsive, funny, and relates to the everyday average person on social conflicts. Plus, she tells things as she sees them, doesn't sugarcoat, and goes in for a hit, she most definitely doesn't miss! Literally and figuratively! The beauty didn't just model in bizarre clothing for fashion shows, but she would also cosplay many anime characters. From characters like Mikasa Ackerman from Attack on Titan, to Yoruichi Shioin from Bleach, to Rize Kamishiro from Tokyo Ghoul, to even a good-looking Gojo Satoru from the hit anime, Jujutsu Kaisen. She pulls it off with each one!"]

'Some of that is true...but I can't be so sure since I don't know how she is now. I should've left a phone number no one could track when she was hospitalized...but I was taking a risk and I was so happy to see her that I forgot.' I groaned, 'And she's makin' me forget shit...'

["Little did anyone know that the talented and goofy Rui Ramzi was Kamilah Shimizu. Shimizu faked her identity, not for clout, not for fame, or power, but for money, and that wasn't even for herself. The part-time job she got on the low with a fake ID and partially fake background wasn't enough for Shimizu, so it is assumed she got into contact with some sort of hacker or broker to work for the modeling agency she recently quit and is now exposed for it. Intending to bail her father out of Tartarus, Shimizu had worked hard for the money she'd garnered and put it in a savings account under her Aunt's name, Yuiko Chinen."]

The next photo that was shown was of the same woman, dressed in a black v-neck dress, white kitten heels, and a white doctor's coat. She stood in front of her clinic with a smile. Compared to now, her hair was longer when this photo was taken. It reached the back of her knees.

["She's a doctor with a PhD in psychology, a master's in psychiatry, and a bachelor's in health science. Dr. Chinen has a non-governmental funded clinic that is funded by charity organizations and her family's wealth. The doctor even teaches at UA high school, where Kamilah Shimizu attends. It's heavily speculated that Shimizu and Dr. Chinen have been in cohorts since her transfer. With the new info that her aunt had a restraining order placed against her by psychic hero: Kassandra, or Jameela An-Nur, Kamilah and Hakim Shimizu's mother."]

The amount of disgust I felt seeing my doll pretending to be happy and smiling with that woman behind her was indescribable. I'd say she was about 13 when this picture was taken. Kami had her brother standing next to her as well. I didn't feel too sorry about burning the guy, but I didn't want to kill him. Kami would be upset and she'd probably be scared to join me. I don't want to run her off any further into the hands of those heroes, into Shoto's hands...

["There have been multiple allegations made against the psychic hero who has been renowned to be the new "Sir Nighteye", or as civilians had dubbed her since his unfortunate passing, "Madam Nighteye"-"]

I skipped this part, already knowing about Rei 2.0, what she did to her family, and all the allegations made against her.

I've been watching Kami since she was about 11 or 12... Of course, I knew everything...which is why I dropped that hard drive. Hopefully, that devil girl picked it up so it can give my Doll an out from that nightmare. For now, I'll play by the justice system's rules...only for Kami's benefit.

'It's a temporary stay with her aunt, dad, and brother, but I'm sure she'll leave everyone behind for me.'

The next thing on the screen was Kami with headphones over her ears, playing a video game. She wore a big gray hoodie. She was in that usual model look. I rewinded some seconds back to see the footage.

["So...one of my mods dropped a link to a game called...Parasocial. It's a game by Chilla's Art...oh! It's in Japanese! We already know the drill, guys, Japanese game, Japanese language sooo..."]

She was speaking in clear English this whole time. There were some words I didn't understand, but I caught on to "Japanese" and "game".

["Here we go..."]

After a few minutes of exploring the house in the game, her character approached a desk with 2 monitors, headphones, a PC, and a swivel chair. There was a window with pink curtains behind the desk.

["Oh, this my lil' set up? This is cute! It's givin' anime girly. Wait a..."] Her face lips lifted and her face scrunched up as if she was discontented with something. Her character approached a poster, ["I'm a V-tu-...so I'm one of those..."] she grumbled.

The screen paused before showing an image of Kami cosplaying as a character from a video game I recognized: Chun-Li from Street Fighter.

'Holy shit, her thighs...are fucking bulging...'

["Shimizu, or Ramzi, has a love for video games because she said, and I quote, "Even for just a little bit, video games take me away from the harsh reality of my personal life," end quote. No one knew what Ramzi's personal life was like, but I suppose we are all about to find out."]

Hearing the distant cheers of citizens, I pressed pause on the video and put the stolen device in my pocket.

"From the sounds of it, they defeated it... Time to retrive the remains and pay the old man a visit."

---

From a distance, I watched.

I watched the reactions of some students from Class 1-A.

I watched the man on the TV, standing tall with his right fist raised in the air.

I watched Shoto sink to the floor, relieved at the man's victory.

It was only moments ago I found out that the man was Enji Todoroki, or Endeavor, the new Number 1 hero of Japan due to Mister All-Might's retirement.

In this state, I don't remember too much about him except he was responsible for putting my father in prison. I don't remember interacting with him nor do I remember Toya saying much about him. I don't remember Shoto introducing me to him either...I don't know why there's this pit of something foul in my stomach because I don't understand the disconnection...

My memories are missing of Mr. Todoroki. Is it because I dislike him doing what he did and having Papa absent in my current life? Is this how the older me feels? It was an accident, Mr. Todoroki was just doing his job...right? There wasn't any personal grudge behind that...not that I know of at least.

After a couple of nights ago, Shoto hadn't said anything else to me about Toya, his father, or the rest of his family. He's kept his distance since he brought me to the school the morning after that night I cried myself to sleep.

I've been wanting to talk to him about it, but he keeps avoiding me, and I just don't know how. Shoto was under the impression I killed Toya...and to be 100% honest...

I don't know if I did because my last memory of Toya was him smiling at me...and it wasn't one of his usual ones; this was unsettling.

My hands clenched into fists, 'I hate not understanding something, I hate not knowing the full details, I hate contradicting my-'

"You're a precious friend to me, Shoto. I mean that...and after experienceing everything now with you, I see that I may be making an undoable mistake. I won't lie to you. I admit I genuinely enjoyed our games and play dates, but half of my smiles were fake, and I was using you, but not for the reaons you may be thinking."

Who was I when I said that?

"...what are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying, "I hate you"...or rather, I used to hate you, but I can't speak for my older self. She may have already even told you-"

That out-of-term talking again... Was it the older me? I don't harbor any hatred towards Shoto so it has to be! This has to be a sign that I'm slowly returning to normal, right?

"She has."

"I...am pretty sure you know the reason why, right?"

Whatever reason she gave to Shoto, it wasn't about Toya...because if she had, Shoto wouldn't have reacted the way he did last night which means...he mistook what I said about knowing of Toya for Papa being imprisoned by his father.

My attention returned to the students when I heard Kaminari shout. They were all staring at th TV again so I redirected my attention back to the screen as well.

We all witnessed the smoke being encompassed with blue flames, circulating like a cyclone. The flames created a new kind of smoke, helping to hide what was going on in the middle with the two top heroes of Japan.

"Fuyumi, look after your mother and the child."

"Yes, mom!"

"I'm going after Toya! All of you, stay here!"

"We need to get her inside and warm her up. Fuyumi, please, go get the medical kit, a bowl of hot water, and a towel for me, please?"

"Natsuo, take Shoto in the house. He doesn't need to-"

"Is big brother Toya gonna be okay? And what about the pretty girl?"

"She's going to be-"

"Truly sorry."

"TOYA! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, I'M OKAY! YOU DIDN'T HURT ME! YOU DIDN'T KILL ME! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BLAME YOURSELF! TOYA-"

'After all this time...i-it gets m-me now? Death wants me n-now? No...n-no, th-that's unfair... It's unfair! J-Just a little longer! Toya needs me! He needs me, damn it!'

The blue flames dissipated, both on the TV screen and whatever Hell this twisted reality displayed itself to me.

Like before, I saw that familiar scene of my younger self running past me. This time and without a second thought, I found myself tailing after this. I hopped down from the carpeted floor onto the concrete one, using my Psyka to swing the doors open. I tore it off its hinges, but I didn't care.

"What the-" Kaminari exclaimed at the sound of the broken doors.

"Shimizu?!" Miss Uraraka shouted in confusion.

"Hey, where ya goin'?!" Mister Sero shouted.

"Where do ya think you're goin'?!" Katsuki angrily yelled.

"Stop her," Mister Aizawa warned some of the alerted students

What appeared to me was myself impaled in the abdomen by some sort of giant icicle. It looks similar to the ones Shoto produces from his quirk.

Stepping outside to observe and circle the imagery of my "corpse", I took in how much blood splattered from the wound the more I struggled, and the more I did, the less I squirmed.

I think I was dying.

Sensing something or someone rushing towards me, I looked up from over my corpse to see some sort of white cloth zooming right at me. Flinching back, I was about to close my eyes once it got in my vicinity, but the cloth ended up disintegrating before it could wrap around me.

The cloth...or rather, the substance that made it exist hovered in the air. The glowing substance looked like...it was from the universe. It looked like space dust, something a person would see from a post-exploded star.

Izuku was the closest to me, but he stopped short once he saw what happened to the cloth.

"That's...new..." Izuku mumbled, staring at me with amazement.

Taking multiple steps back, I put my hands on my cheeks, shaking my head repeatedly.

"St...stay away...stay away from me!" I yelled.

Seeing the image disperse into thin air, what appeared to me later was a small fox, conjured from my blue energy. The worried boy also noticed the fox because he looked down, too.

Faster than I could comprehend, the fox ran past me and I spun around again to chase after it. I'm unsure if Izuku or the others followed me, I didn't care at the moment. I didn't care that the fox led me into the forest on the campus. I didn't care about the branches and bushes scratching me.

It felt familiar. I guess that familiarity is related to me running after Toya, it led me to my potential death. I'm starting to remember: the adrenaline, the fear, the spite, the terror...

I'm starting to remember the regret of not saying "yes" to a proposal I thought he wasn't serious about and wanting to run away.

Dear, Ami, would be happier if we had said "yes"?

Hearing the cries and wails of a familiar person, I pushed a bush's branch out of the way and peeked over the hedge to see a winter wonderland. The bush I was behind had snow on it, and the white specs fell from the sky, landing on the boy crying in the middle of the field.

I slowly approached as if what I was seeing was real. No matter how fake or how far this was in the past, I treated it like the real thing.

"...gone...She's gone...b-because...o-of me. I didn't...meant to. Kami, f-forgive me. I'm sorry! I shouldn't have...I l...lost control. I wanted t-to pro-tect you...I wanted to s-save you...to be...y-your hero!"

I crouched in front of the hunched-over boy, placing my forehead against his. His eyes were downcast, spilling tears onto the white crystals beneath us. Hadn't it been a depressing and somber experience, this would have seemed like a peaceful scene.

"Toya...you didn't hurt me, you didn't kill me. I hurt you. If I would've just said "yes", you would've been okay, you would've been happy. I hurt you. All I seem to do is hurt my friends and the family I care about. We should've never met..."

As if hearing me, Toya looked up, staring forward, or at me from what it probably looked like to others since I was probably the only one who could see this.

"Kami...I swear...I'll give you your retribution. If I can't make my dad proud...I'll make you proud."

Hellbent on revenge. That's all that clouded his vision. I should've known.

Toya no longer wants to run away...he wants to face his problems whether he ends up victorious and living or victorious and dead...just like me.

It's like looking in a mirror.

Hearing voices shout my surname from a few meters away, I closed my eyes. Seconds later, I heard the sound of a clock ticking.

Turning my head in the direction of the sound, I opened my eyes to see a vintage clock on my dorm room's wall just above my bed.

Looking down at the bed, I let my body fall forward onto it. Turning my head towards the desk, I stared blankly into the dimly lit room thanks to the pink and orange illuminating from behind the curtains.

I blew a raspberry, 'I don't know how much more of this game called life I can take. This is all just a big nightmare...that I had a part in setting up. I should just stop trying to take action and understand everything as I am now and stay in a child's place. For now, I should just revel in the fact that Toya is alive...'

There is a puff of air...

Followed by a low chuckle...

Then a sequence of giggles...

And lastly, inconsistent and quiet laughter.

Kicking my feet up and down on the bed, my body trembled with shakes of solace, joy, and laughter. I no longer felt that deep sadness I cried out to Shoto days ago...

Shoto...

Shoto Todoroki.

I stopped my little celebration, considering the realization.

"...I don't think...he knows..." I rolled my eyes, "You gotta be fucking kidding me, bro..."

---

"Stop overdosing."

I dropped the tenth pill on my tongue, ignoring the young man leaning on my bedpost.

"Kami, you're gonna kill yourself."

"That's the plan."

Before I could toss my head back to swallow, a hand suddenly grabbed my jaw, squishing my cheeks, and two fingers stuck themselves down my throat, immediately pulling out of the pills and dropping them on the comforter.

"What did I say? One of these days, you might get lucky and kill over. I don't need you dying right now," he told me, glaring down at me. "The next time I visit, I'll give you an alternative."

"...But don't you want us to be together?" I whined. "I miss you, Toya."

"I miss you, too, babydoll, but you need to stay alive for me...until I say so. Understand?"

I smiled and nodded, "Mhm! I understand."

He let go of my face and pulled me into a hug, "Good girl."

At the mention of the praise, I relaxed into his embrace. Though a figment of my imagination, I was glad it was convincing enough to comfort me. Tonight, it was Kuroya who visited me. If I'm being honest, I like him more than Shiroya, he's a little less cold.

"You'll be turning 13 soon. How are you going to celebrate?"

"I don't know...I didn't plan on doing anything." I withdrew a bit to look up at him, "The one thing...the one person I did want is gone. I wanted you...to make me yours when I did turn 13. I did some research and found out that the age of consent is 13...or used to be, it recently changed to 16. But what does it matter now," I huffed.

"You're a little young to be thinking about that kind of stuff, don't you think?"

"You know for yourself that I'm not your average 12-year-old, Toya. Besides, if I want to navigate and deceive the worlds of law and order, I must learn these things regardless of my age."

My body was pushed back onto the periwinkle, fluffy-covered mattress with my hands pinned above my head. Toya intertwined his fingers with mine and leaned down to my face, raking his eyes from my eyes and down my body and back up.

"What's wrong with a little experience?" he whispered. "If I were still alive, I'd be 19, and it'd be considered bad...but I'm not, am I?"

"Sometimes...I wonder if you really are a conjecture of my mind," I monotonously voiced. "I'm already cursed to die...I don't see why not."

"...You really have no concept of what's good or bad, do you?"

"Oh, I have a concept, it's just upside down." My blank expression turned into one of anticipation, "Teach me something. I might be able to use it on someone later in life to get by."

The abrupt switch in Toya's amused expression to disgust.

"I'm not teaching you to seduce anyone. I rather you fight back than to give away what's mine."

I gasped, "I'm yours...regardless of you not being here?"

"You're mine."

"Forever?" I whimpered.

"Forever. Endlessly," he asserted.

My body filled with a foreign sensation, my stomach felt like it was filled with knots. My breathing became more shaky and it unexpectedly became difficult to maintain eye contact with Toya.

"I feel...I don't what this feeling is...but I feel-"

"Warm? That's the effect I have on you, Doll. You can't help but be drawn to me. It only took 2 years for us to be enamored with each other." He leaned up off me and pulled me into his chest, placing his chin on my right shoulder.

"I see...so this is fate. We were meant to be together," I giggled to myself. "Looks like...I reached the point to no return."

The delusions were so convincing and the ignorance was bliss, but...had I known the truth, had I stopped taking the pills, had I not let the sweet nothings sway me...

Naive lil' ol' me would've run away right then and there.

---

Hearing some chirping not far away, I groggily rolled over onto my side. Thanks to my curtains, the sunlight was blocked out so my eyes didn't have to be assaulted.

Fluttering the deep sleep away, I placed my hands on my bed and pushed my sleepy self up. I swung my feet over the bed and slid up to the edge.

Stretching my hands up and straining my body, I shook the tension from my body just after bouncing up from the comfy bed and onto my feet.

'Damn, that was some good sleep...'

Feeling a jiggle on my chest and on my behind, I looked down at myself to see that I was...naked.

'I slept naked last night? I mean, I don't have a problem with it because it's freeing and good for the body, but...I don't remember going to sleep naked. Also...'

My hair has grown further than I had it before it was burnt off. My frizzly purple curls reached to the back of my knees; it was that length before I entered junior high school. I had cut it down to my lower back because I was afraid kids would tug on it like back in Iwaizumi and Katsu got a bit handsy with it, too, despite not burning or tugging on it.

Twisting my head around, I noticed that my phone wasn't anywhere to be found next to my black nightstand, then I looked forward to seeing it wasn't on my vanity or desk. I spun around to see if it was on my bed somewhere, but all I saw were the remains of...clothing? Clothing that would fit a small child...

I used my quirk to open the curtains just enough to let enough light in, and then I opened my sky blue mini fridge next to my desk and pulled out a bottle of water. Opening my closet, I pulled out my school uniform and laid it out on my bed.

'So many questions right now, but I'll put them aside for now. Alright, time to go wash up and get ready for school...'

That's what I planned to do until I saw something rectangular beneath my comforter. I went to grab it and skimmed over the contents.

"School was neva this bad to the point I'd go fallin' asleep while studyin'. This might be math or-...some...thing...?...The fuck is this?"

---

I'm confused...about everything. I skimmed over what I could in the notebook while walking to school, but things still didn't make sense. It didn't feel like anything happened. My memory is a bit blurry...I can't remember too much right now so...

I decided to just head to class, but no one was in the classroom...

"What the hell...?" I mumbled, peeking inside the classroom.

Noticing my classmates' items stored in the storage racks at the back, I figured that they must be out on one of the training grounds.

Moving a singular braid back over my left shoulder, I sighed at the thought of having to walk to one of the training grounds to find out which one my class was located in.

Getting a certain idea, I stepped into the classroom and slid the door closed behind me. Before I went through with my plan, I used my quirk to levitate my bookbag into my assigned storage space.

I closed my eyes, picturing Ground Alpha first. Feeling a gust of wind, raising my braids and my skirt in the air, but I scurried to lay my skirt down against my thighs...

I smirked, 'Just like Miss Monroe...'

Hearing a bunch of commotion from a long distance. Judging from the sound of some heavy architecture falling into a large body of water, I assumed there was some sort of activity on Ground Beta.

Teleporting to the tallest building, I faced the way where I saw smoke rising from what looked to be a collapsed bridge so from where I could see a clearing, I teleported to the closest spot near the bridge, but not too close where I could get hurt.

I surveyed the damage, 'Classes must be in training...which means I could be a victim of circumstance if I get caught in whatever catastrophe. Great...all I want to do is talk to Mister Kan.'

There wasn't anyone around despite all the chaos that had ensued. Glimpsing across the destroyed bridge, I teleported to a clear and stable spot. I might get lucky at finding someone if I head further into the heart of the action.

'So I was retrograded into a 10-year-old child because of a "quirk accident"? I've heard of stories here and there, but I never thought it would happen to me. Heh, I guess that's a consequence of whatever messed-up action I took beforehand. Never think "Oh, it can't happen to me", especially me." Happen...the younger me was smart to catalogue everything that happened, but it feels surreal.'

I suppose ever since I fainted...it has been a long time. Now that I think about it, it's been a few months...ever since I-

"H-Hey! Get out of the way!"

The way I reacted was similar to a feline. I felt a sizzling burst of energy ready to detonate at any moment. Although, this attack didn't feel like it was meant to be against me.

Glancing to my left, I stopped and took a step back, I caught the hand reaching out to me with my right, activating null to stop the popping blasts.

"No need," I responded, followed by me scrutinizing the boy who called out to me. My gaze returned to the assailant, unsurprised of who I had come face to face with since I had recognized the explosive aura.

"You..."

I smiled at the stunned sandy blond, "Ya know, I'm starting to think our encounters are fate." All of a sudden, I felt...light and flirtatious. I fluttered my lashes twice and licked my bottom lip, "I love the kind of man that will actually just kill me."

Katsuki yanked his gauntlet-covered hand from my grip and took a step back, giving me a once over, "After everything, that's the first thing you say?"

For now, I chose to play dumb. Technically, I'm not lying because I hadn't even gotten past half of Log 1 in the notebook.

I expressed my semi-"unfamiliarity" with what he was referring to, "What are you talkin' 'bout?"

"Oh! She's back to normal!" I heard a a familiar pink girl's voice shout from the distance.

"Everyone, hold your positions," I heard Mister Aizawa announce, striding over to us from somewhere out of the crowd of heroes. "Shimizu, when did you return to normal?"

I tilted my head, "Huh...?"

The tired-looking teacher squinted his eyes in suspicion, "You don't remember?"

"Nah, I don't...really know what you're talking about...?" I semi-lied. "Did something happen to me? All I remember is waking up in my room, ripped clothes on my bed, not finding my phone, my hair growing down to my knees, and the thought "Huh, maybe I'll get my answers at school". Little did I know because I didn't look at the time, I was late so when I didn't find anybody in my classroom, I figured they were out training so I headed to Ground Alpha before wandering over here."

Mister Aizawa seemed relieved at my explanation, "I see...you escaped to your dorm after yesterday evening."

I furrowed my brows, "Did something happen to me?"

"You got into a quirk accident that retrograded your body into a 10-year-old, but your memories were that of a 7-year-old. Some of those memories were mixed up. Your aunt permitted you to stay here at UA until she came to retrieve you."

"Retrieve me?" I acted dumb.

He only sighed at my question, "Nevermind that for now. Do you remember anything else?"

"Hmmm..." I hummed in thought, scrunching my face up. I scrunch my face at his question, "The last thing I remember is the bell ringing for lunch, visiting my Auntie's office, Izuku joining me for lunch, and then…"

"And then what? What else?" he pushed.

"...Oh my God," I placed my hands on each side of my face, "Oh my…I-I fought her and…and I got what I wanted. I hurt her. I did it... I finally hurt her…but I wasn't finished. She deserves more pain! Taking her eyes wasn't eno-"

I didn't expect Katsuki to put a hand on my shoulder, "Don't."

I faced him, "My "mom" attacked me first! Only God knows what she planned on doing next hadn't I defended myself! Where the hell is she anyway?!"

"Being testified against in court," Mister Aizawa answered.

I'm sure my reaction looked like one of a fish, mouth gaping open and closed with big, soulless eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"Many allegations about your mother have been unraveling over the course time since your retrogration. It's clear you don't remember anything so I'll have to catch you up to speed and you'll continue to attend class until Dr. Chinen returns. As of now, she is your legal guardian. Based on your mother's allegations and father's past, custody is being held by her until the decision is made for who you will live with."

I remained vegetative, "..."

"I know that information alone is a lot to sink in right now, but I'll be having you transported back to the school to get checked up by Recovery Girl. Bakugo will be going along with you," a mini transport robot showed up behind Mister Aizawa.

"..."

"Also, I was informed by some of my students that while in that younger state of yours, there were some abnormalities concerning your quirk. I advise that you don't use it until Recovery Girl deems it safe for you to do so."

"..."

He snapped his fingers in my face, "Shimizu, are you listening-"

I nodded eagerly, "Yeah...I'm just..."

I felt so elated I couldn't describe the heavy burden that slipped off my shoulders. I began to feel a little dizzy from the good news I received. Not only did I feel that hindrance be swept away, but I also felt newer...better, like I just got rid of the flu; the water never tasted fresher, and the grass was greener than before.

"...in shock."

"Bakugo-"

"No need to tell me twice," the explosive blond huffed, unexpectedly picking me up off the ground with one arm by turning me around and squatting to lift me by the back of my thighs.

The weird thing about it is that I just let it happen, I let Katsuki carry me over his right shoulder like a potato sack.

'Normally, I'd be kicking and screaming for him to let me go, telling him I'm too heavy and trying to fight back so...why do I feel so giddy? Why do I feel more dizzy? Why is my heart racing?'

My body was slowly and softly set on the transportation robot's stretcher to which I grabbed Katsuki's bulky shoulders out of reflex because I was afraid he would've let me fall.

He rested one hand on the dip in my back and the other on my shoulder, "I got you," he reassured, looking into my eyes with no hostility.

I felt my cheeks warm up, "...okay," I responded so meekly.

His eyes crinkled due to his glare, "...Your eyes..."

I raised my hands to graze just beneath my lower lashes, fluttering them and tilting my head in curiosity, "My...eyes? What about them?"

Those red eyes filled with panic, then down at my thighs. They were quick to snap away from me to something or someone in the distance. He got off of his knee and that infamous scowl returned to his face as if he always wore it.

"GOT SOMETHIN' TO SEE, EXTRAS?!"

My eyebrows furrowed, 'What was that about...?'

Catching my attention, I looked in the same direction and saw we had an awe-struck audience. I suppose seeing Katsuki acting so out of character would shock me, too, and hell, it did. He was never this affectionate towards me in front of other people.

The unmistakable teasing faces of Sero, Kaminari, Kirishima, and Ashido didn't go unnoticed by me...nor did the unreadable emerald orbs or the seemingly scarred heterochromous orbs to which I looked down at my thighs. My head fell in my hands from embarrassment.

"Of course, Bakugo can only be gentle with one certain civilian," Sero joked with an underlying tone to some insinuations.

"Wait...don't tell me...those two are..." the invisible girl suggested, then gasped as if realizing something.

"IF YOU GOT SOMETHIN' TO SAY, SAY IT WITH YA CHEST!"

"K...Katsuki...please, stop..."

---

"So? How is she?" Katsuki asked the kind nurse.

"She's perfectly healthy. I don't see any setbacks with you using your quirk, dear. However, I will say don't push yourself too far since there are some new developments with your quirk," Miss Recovery Girl informed.

"Some new developments, huh..." I mumbled, looking down at the palms of my hands.

"I'm sure there's nothing to be too worried about, dear. Here, some candy to give you energy," she reassured me and gave me a lollipop.

I unwrapped it and enjoyed the cherry flavor, "Am I good to go?"

She hopped down from her chair and grabbed her syringe-like cane, "I'll go inform your homeroom teacher of your condition and I'll him decide what he wants you to do."

I nodded, "Okay."

"I'm counting on you to watch over her...boyfriend," she sneakily remarked with a giggle, leaving out of the infirmary.

Surprisingly enough, Katsuki didn't overreact to her remark. He just sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes.

"Katsuki..."

"What?" he asked, sitting down in the swivel chair the kind lady was just sitting in. He took the time to take off his gauntlets.

"When I was little...I didn't do or say anything weird, did I?"

His gaze lifted from the floor and settled on me, just like the smirk that crept onto his face. "Weird? Oh...not at all. You just did and said some crazy shit is all."

"L-Like what?" I nervously, yet eagerly wanted to know.

"If I explained every little thing you did, we'd be here all day. I'll tell you another day."

'Or I'll just inform myself with whatever little Ami left in that notebook,' I thought and nodded, pretending to accept his terms.

"Fox...you don't remember anything?" He sounded a little...defeated.

"From my time as a child? No. But before all this bullshit went down? Mm, it's comin' back to me...bit by bit. Why?"

"Just makin' sure."

And just because he said that I decided to be petty and search through my memories of our last encounter before my retrograde.

'Whatcha hidin' from me, huh? I thought that if I didn't hide anythin' from you, you wouldn't hide anythin' from me. What kinda fuck-shit is this? I have every reason to cuss yo' ass out 'bout keepin' secrets. Then again, what does Katsuki Bakugo have to hide? He's always bold about how he feels. Before I woke up that morning, I think I visited Izuku the night prior and we talked, and...'

Alarm bells rang in my head.

"Katsu, I have a question."

"Just say it," he chuffed.

"Be honest with me, okay?"

"Don't treat me like a child."

"Stop acting so childish by treating me like a prize."

His eyes hardened, "What?"

"I gave you a last chance. Speaking of last chance…if you think of me as a prize to win, tell me to leave right now."

"Hell are you talkin' about now? You just turned back and you're back on your bullshit already," he bitterly spat.

"I remember. After we…cleared that misunderstanding about you and Izuku's fight, I visited Izuku in his dorm. He told me about how I'm just a challenge to you, an obstacle to overcome, a value you want because you take any and everything from him. If that's all you see me as, be fucking for real, and tell me to "step"."

"..." Katsuki could only stare at me in disbelief. I've never seen him so caught off guard, but he deserves what's coming to him.

"We can squash whatever the fuck we had if you just say it. I'll leave and go straight to Izuku. You've been playin' with me since day 1. Just because you refuse for Izuku to be happy. All you ever cared about was yourself, taking, and being better than everybody else. You're not who you made yourself out to be. I should've known better…"

"..." He still didn't respond. He kept gazing at me, looking as if he was about to lose something precious. Of course, he'd appear the way.

"At least, I know he…I know Izuku would never play with my feelings. He'd love me for me despite my foul language, my rash decisions, and my hot takes. He'd cherish me…because I'm more to him than some "challenge", some "prize", more than some damn game. I know he's the only one I can trust not to hurt me."

"..."

I could see the veins bulging in his forearms, shoulders, and forehead in the late morning light. I didn't care just like how he didn't care about my feelings.

Katsuki knew we were always something more than friendship, but nothing more than a situationship. I always denied it, but he kept subliminally pushing for it. I don't understand why he wanted to be around or with me constantly. He acted like he couldn't stand me, it seemed that way with our back and forths.

But when we were alone together, it was a different story. He'd soften up, and reassure me with the most vulgar and heart-racing words—more so with actions. We have chemistry…or so he led me to believe.

"What are you waiting for? Katsuki Bakugo never hesitates. He'll never say or do the things he doesn't want to say or do. It's no different this time! Say you don't want me, tell me to "step", and I'll gladly drop you like a fucking bad habit!"

When he didn't move his lips, I got so frazzled to the point my hair floated up in the air, illuminating a dark violet.

"So shocked I figured you out you can't say it? What a damn shame," I grumbled. "I'll take your silence as an answer."

Getting up from the bed-like stretcher, I turned my back on the still quiet blond and took prompt steps toward the door.

'Fuck him! I should've known better! I was better off wallowing and waiting for Toya! It would've hurt less because he hasn't been around me this whole time to butter me up, the possibilities with him are endless, and I'd never know what he'd plan to do until the last minute. I..It would hurt less if I didn't open up to Katsuki. It would h-hurt less…if I-I never met him, if I n-never fell for him s-o damn hard.'

"Don't leave."

For some reason, his words were enough to make me stop. I turned my head to the right, but not enough to look back at him. I didn't know what expression he was making, and frankly, I didn't care to.

"Don't leave"? That's all you can say? I got better shit to do with my time. Give me one legitimate reason why I shouldn't leave your ass high and dry ri-"

"I can give you a handful of legitimate reasons. Sit your temperamental ass down and I can explain them to you."

A bittersweet chuckle escaped me, "You're one to talk about "temperamental"-"

"I'm not gonna tell you one more time," he warned.

Looking over my shoulder, I gave him a grimace, filled with vexation and a will to bite back at what he just said to me. Turning around, I walked up to him and looked down on, his hands on both of my hips.

"What did you just say-"

"Shaddup," he dismissed me and brought his hands around my waist, easily lifting me and setting me down on my lap.

"D-Don't manhandle me!"

"I'll handle you how I want since you wanna be a brat. Such a pain in my ass," he hissed. "I don't know how many times it's gonna take me to tell you, but I'll keep at it until you get it through that thick skull."

"Make your points before someone comes back, asshole," I yelped.

Katsuki made a bold move by moving his right hand gripping a handful of my hair and angling my head to look into his eyes. He pulled me so close to him that not only were our bodies touching, but my forehead was smooshed against his.

"One, I fucking like you."

'...Damn...he looks good when his hair isn't covering his forehead. Wait, focus, Ami!'

"Two, I fucking want you."

'...Shit...'

"Three-"

Sensing the aura of the kind nurse, I pushed Katsuki away, sliding back on his lap and bending backward. I reached for the floor, planting my hand on the floor before pushing my lower half up and over, completing a backflip. I landed on my feet just before the door opened.

"Ah, it's good you're up and ready to go because your homeroom teacher has concluded that you will not be participating in classes today so you are more than welcomed to rest inside your dorm for the rest of today."

I faced the elderly hero and bowed, "Y-Yes, ma'am. I'll go now..."

Not once did I give Katsuki another look. I was conflicted now. I didn't expect him to do that...I didn't expect myself to feel that way...to feel like I could sink so easily beneath his touch.

'Just when I thought I got rid of 'em...I'm catchin' feels again...'

---

"She's back."

"...Eh?"

"Kamilah...she's back."

Rio only stared at me with astonishment, unintentionally overspilling the lemonade from the tumblr into the glass.

"How...?"

"With condemned children comes condemned links," Yui summarized, then nodded to Rio. "It's not safe for Rui to be out in the public eye so I'm heading to the school to pick her up."

"But Yuiiii, I wanna goooo! I haven't seen my daughter in a loooong timmmme!" I whined, dramatically wiggling my body like a child.

"No, Rui. You can't. I know you don't care so much about what people would say about you or even do to you in public, but it's more about having Kamilah, the already accused liar of an ex-villain, being seen with that very same villain who happens to be her father. I know you can defend yourself, I know both Rui and I can defend you, and I know we all can defend Kamilah. But it's not the physical or verbal insults that will damage us, it's the verbal insults that will cause Kamilah further psychological damage."

"She has a point, Rui. It's best if Yui goes to UA alone. It'll look more...normal that way, and the students won't have to be on edge with an ex-villain being on their premises, especially the teachers," Rio added with a gentle tone.

"..." I only sighed, slumping on the soft sofa. "Fine. Whatever."

"Thanks for understanding, Rui. I'll be heading out soon. By the by, where's Xitalit?"

"She figured since she's here in the city she'll spend time with her kids. She and Rika are waiting for Joon-Woo to get out of school," I answered. "I don't think they'll be in harm's way. I told her to call me immediately if she feels the slightest situation is off."

"Alright, as long as they stay safe and don't raise attention to themselves. Speaking of kids..." Yuiko gave me a serious look, "Should they ever make contact again...what will you do about Dabi?"

"..." I sighed, "I'm pretty sure if I tried to sneak him, Kamilah would know it's one us...I'm not willing to risk getting on her bad side after finally being reunited."

"And if he ends up hurting her? Getting her wrapped into more mess than she already has on her plate? What will you do then?"

I grinned, "What do you mean what will I do? All you gotta do is tell Enji that his son is still alive...and let nature take its course from there. Toya would be too distracted by getting his revenge to worry about Kami. It's only when that boy's guard is lowest is when he notices that she's been stolen from right under his nose."

Rio cleaned the spilled lemonade with a white washcloth, "Don't get cocky, bro. Things might not play out like how you always want them to. What if something honestly does go wrong? What lengths are you willing to reach to keep Kamilah safe?"

"...I prefer you to be the one to catch me for first-degree murder."

---

As soon as I closed the notebook and lifted my head, I found myself in that sandy desert with nothing but an oasis accommodated with the blazing sun, clear blue sky, grand and pristine statues, and...

"The hourglass is...broken?"

Standing on wobbly and numb legs, I trudged down the hill without trying to tumble down, I made it to the water, doing my best to run through it to see the damage done to the hourglass. I noticed blue sparkling specs spilling down the hill I was heading for into the oasis which soaked my gray thigh-high socks and my skirt.

"There's no need to panic, Kamilah," I heard a familiar voice just up the hill.

Due to the sun's brightness, I could see a silhouette standing above me, but I didn't need to see who it was to confirm who spoke to me.

"Misuzu, what happened here? Am I dead? Was everything from me waking up to stepping inside my room just...limbo?"

"You're wrong. You're very much alive," she began to descend to the hill with ease. "I was worried sick. I was afraid I'd never see you again, if you really..."

When she entered the water, she stopped talking, staring at me with a look of distress. Actually, her appearance looked distressed. Her hair was messy, she was sweating, her eyes had bags under them, and her hands and wrists were scarred, some cuts looked fresh while others looked old and scabby. She no longer wore her casual outfit which was jean overalls with a white t-shirt and white sneakers, but she wore a black kimono, one signifying in-mourning of a loved one.

She raised her right hand. Immediately recognizing this behavior, I shut my eyes tight and flinched back as a response to preparing for the harsh strike and trying to convince myself she was only doing this out of love.

'I understand that concept, but I know all the strikes I was given by Jameela were anything but a reprimand of love...Misuzu is just angry at me for trying to commit suicide. I don't blame he-'

That raised hand slipped behind me to rest on my back while the other went to the nape of my neck. She pulled me close to her.

"I would never do that to you."

What am I thinking? This is Misuzu...the woman who had little time to spend with her child before she passed. She has no reason to strike a child. Serious in character, but not vicious.

"What's with your appearance? You look like you've been through hell," my words came out muffled due to her smooshing me against her chest.

"I have. You have no idea how much I cried and stressed over how much I couldn't get you, how I couldn't find you or feel your presence. It's as if you...really left me behind." She inhaled shakily, "...Don't ever attempt to take your life again...not that I think you ever will fromhere and forward."

I tried to turn my head to look at her to the best of my ability with her grip around me, "Hmm? What do you mean?"

"You...you haven't realized yet?" She leaned her body away from mine, looking me over with bafflement and solace.

I slowly shook my head "no", "Haven't realized...what? Did something happen?"

She placed her hands on my shoulders, holding me at arm's length in preparation for something, "Yes...you did it. You broke it."

I poked out my lips and tilted my head in inquiry, "Broke...what exactly?"

"You broke the Shimizugawa Curse. We're...free..."

The elation I felt was indescribable. I didn't think it possible to feel so happy at a feat I thought impossible to accomplish, a generational crisis my family probably wouldn't have expected the chosen cursed child to defeat.

I held back the maniacal smile that wanted to appear on my face, '...It's nice to know I have something to hold over my family's head should I want to do some bullshit in the future.'

"...is what I would like to say," she added. "We're not out of the woods just yet. I would like to inform you of what else is happening, but I will leave that for you to explain because you have little time here since you've come back and are weakened to a state you can't manifest here for long. That aside..."

Misuzu grazed her fingers just beneath my chin and lifted my head. She expressed something akin to pride and virtue. Her tattered clothing rewove itself out of thin air, the black and white was revitalized with electric blue and marshmallow white.

"I wish you great abundance in the love you have found, and acknowledged that has unlocked your heart. Love with great passion as no other in the Shimizu-Tokugawa has ever loved before you."

And just like that, I found myself back in my room, staring down at a blank page in the notebook. My curtains were still drawn open. The clock on my wall continuously ticked. The sun was setting. I sat on my bed, frozen. My brain was running, processing, and doing somersaults from all of what Misuzu said.

Fairy tales aren't supposed to come true.

The poison apple always gets bitten.

The witch always wins.

And the princess...

"...she isn't supposed to be alive because the prince couldn't save her."

There's no way this is real, that this is even feasible. Advanced tech is one thing, and quirks are another, but this is just pure absurdity.

There's no way that these fuzzy feelings Katsuki forced me to have for him saved my life. No way of falling for that selfish, impudent, rude, crude, narcissistic, arrogant, proud, loud...honest, loyal, thorough, organized, and insightful brute...broke the curse.

A few ticks of the clock tocked away as I contemplated, evaluated, and analyzed my behavior towards the angry boy in the last few hours. It's like I was a completely different person around him when we last saw each other.

What...the...fuck...

What the fuck.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!" I shouted, flipping my body forward onto my bed, and continuing to scream profanities.

It wasn't long before I heard knocking on my door followed by a concerned voice.

"Shimizu, are you okay in there?" Komori's voice reached beyond my door. "I know you just returned to normal so are you feeling unwell?"

"..."

She knocked on the door twice, "Hey. Shimizu? Can you hear me?"

"..."

"I...I'm getting a little worried that you aren't responding s-so...I-I have no choice but to come in and check on you. I'm sorry, but I have to."

"Komori...enter." I called out to her, using my quirk to unlock and swing my door open. "I need a second opinion. We need...to have some "girl talk"..."

---

A/N:

7/11 means an individual is about to or is going through a spiritual awakening.

"I got you, moonlight. You're my...starlight..." is lyrics from Levitating by Dua Lipa.

'Wherever you are...I wonder if you're watching the sky, too, Toya.' At the time of this thought is the same time when Dabi was standing outside the warehouse, staring up at the moon in episode 87.

The "visions" and "space dust" Kamilah was referring to will be explained. It's something I decided to add to the mix

"I love the kind of man that will actually just kill me" is a reference to the quote, "I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me" by Spike Spiegel from Cowboy Bebop.

The way I had Katsuki admit his feelings for Kamilah is a funny reference to a character from the adult swim show, The Boondocks.

So...the curse is broken! Yay! Cliche, I know, Kamilah letting herself fall in love and acknowledging her feelings for Katsuki like the princess eating the poison apple and a prince giving a true love's kiss to wake her up, I know. But it's the most simplistic things that make a story great...and speaking of a story, spoiler warning up ahead.

I read the last chapter of My Hero a couple of days ago and...boy, am I seeing a lot of negative reviews for the ending. I'm just a random person on the internet who writes fanfics, but here's my two cents that no one asked for on the ending. It was too rushed and I expected the ending not to be something grand or bizarre, but I also appreciate that there was an ending. Why? There are mangaka/authors/writers/illustrators out there who don't finish their craft for years, or they give up on it, or they get harassed by fanbases. Personally, I think Horikoshi is tired and wants to wrap things up as soon as possible. I'm a simple anime fan so I take what the author puts out and enjoy what entertainment it gives me; nowadays, I feel like people complain too much about animation, dub and sub, inconsistency, and mediocre elements that can be ignored, but I'm not saying criticism isn't crucial. I don't want to dive further into the rabbit hole because that's a deep one. I feel that the ending for My Hero's ending could've been stretched out for a couple more chapters so we could learn more about the characters in the aftermath of the war. I always kept what Izuku said in mind since the first episode, "this is the story of how I became the greatest hero". I had a feeling there wouldn't be a time skip for that to flesh out into his adulthood because we would've never witnessed the reason why or how Izuku became the greatest hero during his teenage years. I hope that makes sense.

But anyway...now that it's completed..."MR. KRABS~! I HAVE AN IDEA~!"