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Pit me up in a fight against Rock Lee and he'll be on the ground before you can say 'youth'. It's a matter of extreme stamina training and simple physics - one of his punches packs enough momentum for me to grab his fist and haul him over my shoulder in a split second. Please, this stuff is like breathing to me.
My kryptonite? Blind dates. More specifically, blind dates set up by a giggling blonde flower petal sitting in the corner of McDonald's. I hate flowers.
The guy's cute, at least. Pale, brown eyes, browner hair. I'd find his oversized coat endearing if it wasn't emanating a distinct canine scent. Gross.
"So," I try my best not to focus on his red cheek tattoos when he speaks up, "I like dogs, and my family runs the vet clinic down the road. The name's Kiba, by the way."
"Like, kibble?" It rushes out of my mouth before I get a chance to think it through. Judging by the look on his face, he doesn't seem too pleased about it. Well, that's fine. I didn't want to go on this stupid date anyway.
Grandpa Hiruzen's rule #1 is to never run away from my problems, and I'm proud to say running away is something I've never done. Even so, rules are made to be broken. I start planning the best way to run out of McDonald's without seeming like too much of an asshole: two exits - one through the front door, one to the playground and the toilets. Make that three.
A pretty, dark-haired girl walks into the fast food store and captures his attention. It's uncanny how his tongue hangs out of his mouth when he sees her - like a dog awaiting its first meal of the day.
Hiruzen rule #2: Strike while the iron is hot. I begin to stand up when a familiar girl with spiky hair walks up to our table. I grin at the same time Kibbles does.
"Tenten," she purrs, and I return what I hope is a seductive smile, "fancy seeing you here." The girl sits on my lap and leans a slender arm across my shoulders. We settle into a comfortable position as she kisses my cheek. Kibble's grin turns into a look of utter confusion. I bite my cheek to keep myself from laughing.
His face goes red with embarrassment. "I'll just, uh, get going now. Uh, see you, Tenten." We stay in our position until his mop of hair disappears from our view before we burst out into laughter. I scoot over and she slams down next to me, grabbing a chip from the pile while wiping a tear from her eye.
"Did you see the look on his face? I swear, if I had a camer-"
"You'd what?" We look up to see an award-winning scowl from the aforementioned flower petal. "That date took me weeks to organise, and you just blew it out with the window! Do you know what this is?" Ino plops down across from us, exasperated, "It's a record two minutes!"
"One," Temari quips with a hamburger-stuffed mouth. Ino glares at us when we start laughing again.
"Did you at least get his name, or were you two too busy pretending to eat each other's faces off...again."
"Hey, hey!" I put my hands up in the air beside my head, "He likes dogs, or dog food, and his family works at a vet clinic." I trail off when Ino looks at me expectantly. "And his name's...Kibbles." Temari starts shrieking with laughter. Ino seems torn between laughing her head off and maintaining a moral high-ground.
She chooses a bottle of sparkling water instead. The dark-haired girl from earlier strides over to our table and sits down next to Ino, carton of macaroons in tow. It's fascinating watching her eat them, like observing a starved lion devouring a hunk of fresh meat, only, she looks like a doll. Looks can be deceiving.
That's the beauty of Hinata - no matter how much you shower her with riches, splendour and "lady lessons", as I dub them, once she's well away from familial eyes, it's like looking at a completely different person. She can switch from a demure, frills-and-pinks-loving princess to a monstrous, sarcastic sass-pot within a few seconds; I've seen it happen and it was magical.
Not that magic is real. Correction: phenomenal.
She downs her macaroons faster than Temari can finish a fry, which is saying something because she ate two bucket-loads in five minutes when we snuck out of school one time. What amazes me is the fact that she always seems to be at peak-level fitness, regardless of what she shoves down her mouth. Damn her and her metabolism.
Ino grimaces when Hinata lets out a large belch, surprising the entire restaurant. "You should really watch what you eat, Hinata. That can't be good for you." Hinata puts on her best puppy dog face. Ino lets its drop without another word - like I said, phenomenal.
Temari finishes off the fries, and we rush into the bathrooms to fix our appearances.
Here's the sitch: Konoha Academy, prestigious private school with a load of wealthy kids from wealthy or well-connected families. As they all tend to go, lunch is in gourmet cafeterias, lessons in high-tech classrooms and an overdose of assholes. There's a social hierarchy that comes with rich people, the highest "ranks" based on the amount of money you have. Hinata's in among those ranks - her family's filthy rich and has been running the multinational Hyuga Industries for decades. Ino's family runs a huge flower-supplying business that's been operating since the 1800s, and struck gold when it started a partnership with Hyuga Industries.
Temari and I are similar in the fact that we both came from a freakishly long line of nobility - the incestuous kind. We're related, I guess, somewhere down the track. It isn't entirely impossible to fathom, mitochondrial DNA in the maternal lines prove it.
We head over to Hinata's place every day after school for "study sessions", most of which we spend gossiping and playing Call of Duty on her computer. Hiashi, Hinata's stick-up-the-ass dad permits it because we're all "from esteemed families".
He's crazy, which is why we spend a good twenty minutes each day polishing up our appearances in the bathroom to look as appropriate as possible.
"Thinking about it," Temari says quietly, "Tenten only wears dresses when we go to Hinata's place." Everyone else seems to have come to the same dawning realisation. It's true; my comfy rock band t-shirts and worn-out black converses only switch to sundresses and cork-heeled wedges when I go to the Hyuga Mansion. I roll my eyes.
"Yeah, well. Hiashi- hey. Hey! HEY! NO PICTURES!" I screech, lunging towards Ino like my life depended on it. Ino giggles and runs out of the door like a woman on a mission. I grit my teeth, storming into one of the toilet stalls to change back into my school uniform.
She is so dead.
Hyuga Mansion somewhat resembles Buckingham Palace, complete with marble columns on either side of the imposing palatial doors, and a wrought-iron fence surrounding the perimeter of the property. It's huge and looms over the horizon like a formidable fortress. It kind of is.
Apparently, Hinata's family has been living in it for three generations, so there isn't a single marble tile that hasn't been overturned and inspected for incriminating materials like termites or nuclear bombs. The Hyugas are pedantic, in that aspect.
We're driven into the garage by a middle-aged man named Kakashi, who spends his free time reading erotic novels in the front seat of the car. He used to replace the front covers with those of Driving 101 and Tips and Tricks of Road Navigation. That died out when Hiashi demanded a no-hiding policy for all staff members of the Mansion. I hear Kakashi giggle every now and then when I catch him reading Icha Icha Paradise. Shameless.
Hiashi stands at the garage's doorway, arms crossed over his chest and a scowl that could send Naruto into the Pits of Despair, which he did do. Once. Idiot tried sneaking into Hinata's room at midnight and jumped into Hiashi's instead. His eyes narrowed at us as we stepped out of the car.
"Hinata."
Hinata plasters on a blush the colour of a tomato, and looks down. "Y-yes, father?"
"You're fifty-five seconds late." I can hear Temari rolling her eyes.
"I-I'm s-sorry, father." Hiashi's scowl softens to an earth-shattering glare. He nods his head firmly.
"Dinner is at seven, don't be late. Your cousin will be visiting today, and I don't want any discrepancies with my timetable. Is that understood?" Hinata stammers out a "yes, sir" before he leaves the doorway. We all let out a deep breath and charge up to Hinata's room with the fluid grace of a herd of elephants.
Ino and Temari are the last to enter the room, making a show of slamming the door shut.
"Don't worry about him, Hinata. He's just a grouchy prude." Temari claps Hinata's shoulder gently. She nods quietly in response. It becomes achingly silent in the room, save for the steady ticking of her analogue clock. A thought suddenly pops up into my head.
"Wait. Since when did you have a cousin?"
Everyone turns towards me with scandalised expressions on their faces.
"Seriously?" Ino places her hands on her hips. "Since like," she waves her hands in the air dramatically, "They were born!"
Hinata confirms Ino's statement. "He visits Hyuga Mansion regularly, haven't you met him?" I shake my head, feeling confused.
"Has anyone here, besides you?" Temari and Ino nod their heads vigorously.
"He's hot."
"More like dreamy." They gush over Hinata's cousin with starry eyes. "And his voice is so smooth."
"And delicious. Hinata, if he wasn't your cousin, I would bite that-" Said girl clears her throat loudly, a clear look of disgust manifesting on her delicate features.
"I'd rather not."
"When do I get to meet the Cousin, then?"
"Well, he's staying over for dinner, so, tonight? If you're willing to stay back a little longer, that is."
Temari looks like she's going to faint from happiness. The expression quickly morphs into a look of horror.
"B-but, Tenten's in her uniform!" She catches my incredulous expression.
"Way to go, Empress Obvious."
Ino swats my buns impatiently, "You can't wear your uniform in front of him. He'll probably think we're weirdos for being friends with you! Or worse, schoolgirls!"
"Oh, gee, thanks."
It's Hinata's turn to roll her eyes. "He goes to our school, guys, calm dow-"
"He goes to our school? How do I not know these things?"
"Yes, Tenten, he's in our chemistry class," she states curtly, "And besides, he won't judge you based on your clothes. What kind of prejudiced pig does that, anyway?"
Hanabi, Hinata's prodigal twelve year old sister, pokes her head into the room at that very moment. Hinata calls her the devil's advocate. "Dad does that."
"Piss off, bird breath."
She feigns a look of hurt towards her sister. "But I was Bird Breath last time! Honestly, I thought I trained you better."
Hinata grits her teeth, warning voice low and threatening. "Hanabi..."
"Chill, sis, Dad just decided to have an earlier dinner. You all have ten minutes. Hey, Tennie!" The younger girl disappears before I can reply.
"As I was saying...he's not a bad guy, alright? Just a little..." She trailed off uncertainly.
"Tall, dark and handsome?"
"Irresistibly tasty?"
"Reserved," the Hyuga heiress finished off firmly. "And stoic. But sociable, most of the time." I glance at her skeptically.
"I guess? Shouldn't we be heading downstairs now?"
Right on cue, a Hyuga housemaid gently knocks on the bedroom door. "May I escort you and your friends to the dinner hall, miss?" They ask out of politeness, most of the time. Hiashi's been adamant on having someone chaperone Hinata around the house ever since Naruto dropped in for a surprise visit. Like, literally, dropped in.
We all follow the maid to a large white dining hall with a marble table positioned at its centre, exquisitely carved chairs stationed around it. I see Hiashi sitting at the helm of the table, hands imposingly positioned underneath his chin. On his right is Hinata's currently empty seat, and to his left Hanabi, sans her trademark cheeky expression.
My eyes pause on a teenaged replica of Hiashi who's currently conversing with Hanabi. The same long, flowing hair hangs down the length of their backs, combed to perfection. The boy looks up at our arrival and I notice the same expression rests on his face - cold and steely. A shiver runs down my spine at their uncanny resemblance to the shogun leaders from my history textbooks.
"Welcome, guests," Hiashi gestures towards the spare seats, "please, take a seat." Temari, Ino and Hinata shuffle towards the right side the table and push me towards Hanabi's side. I sit down next to The Cousin, giving them questioning looks.
"G-good afternoon, Father, Neji." Hiashi gives her the stern nod that makes me want to slap a smile on his face.
"Good afternoon, Hinata." His voice is smooth, I realise with a jolt. It's deep, and manly, but so charming at the same time. "And friends." Hiashi's approving nod mirrors my assessment of his voice.
One of the serves put a tiny bowl of soup in front of me. It's a strange, green colour and smells like cat piss.
"Roasted dandelion and Icelandic truffle soup, sir."
"Ah," the patriarch remarks (relatively) happily, "My favourite."
"Sir," he glares at my interruption.
"What is it, child," Hiashi snaps at me. I ignore the frightened looks that Hinata's sending me.
"With all due respect, are you sure these truffles are...well, truffles?"
At that moment, I'm pretty sure Hiashi would've sent me to the fiery pits of hell if he wasn't a law-abiding citizen. "What are you implying, girl?"
I decide that it's too late to back out now, and carry on. "For starters, sir, truffles are subterranean bodies that require nutrient-rich soils to thrive in." Ino sends me her best 'shut your trap before you end up dead' eye message. "And Iceland isn't exactly famous for it's fertile soil. It's too barren and too harsh of a climate for truffles to grow in, not to mention the fact that Alpine environments are an ideal- oof."
Temari's foot connects with my shin as she hurriedly motions towards Hiashi's livid face. I gulp.
"Tenten is the highest scoring student in our class, Hiashi-sama. Her ability to question facts is what has lead to her academic success. An admirable skill, uncle." Hiashi stops glaring and regards me with mild interest. I make a mental note to give the Cousin a monumental kiss later. A totally platonic, non-committal, monumental kiss. Of course.
My brain short circuits for a split second. He knows my name. Holy cow.
"Indeed, Neji, young and able minds never cease to impress me. Are you involved in any extra-curricular activities, Tenten?"
Neji. His name is Neji. "Uhh. I'm in the karate team... And I can swim. It's not much, sir."
Ino's shill laugh reverberates through the room at my reply. Hiashi fixates his steady gaze onto her. "Nonsense, sir. Tenten's just being modest. She's the three time national champion of Konoha Academy's karate team, not to mention the swim team captain for two years in a row."
He nods - again. "That is impressive, and for some reason was never mentioned at the dinner table. I would be delighted to receive you in Hyuga Industries after your graduation, given that you achieve top marks, of course. You would be a worthy addition." Hinata shrinks in her seat. "You could learn from her, Hinata, it would be refreshing to see a strong-minded lady take up Hyuga Industries after I resign."
I feel my anger flare up, along with Temari's and Ino's. "Sir," I lash out first, "that hardly seems fair. Hinata works so hard to prove herself to you-"
"Tenten." Hinata shakily interrupts my rant. "Leave it." I open my mouth in protest.
"But it's no-"
"Tenten," she repeats. I stand down, not bothering to hide the frustration on my face. Higher ranking bullies at school always get on my nerves, with their stuck-up attitudes and personalised ideals. Hiashi was no different, only I couldn't punch his face in like I did to the ones at school.
"I consider myself a very generous man, Tenten. Be my ally and you will find yourself with a multitude of possibilities for your future. By my enemy, child, and you will find yourself with none." I don't look at his face in fear of lashing out again.
"Thank you, sir." He dismisses me with a wave of his hand, and I storm out of the dining hall, dead set on abandoning the Hyuga estate within the next few seconds.
A cold hand touches down on my shoulder, stopping my mid-stride. It's Neji.
"What do you want?" I spit out angrily. He looks as unmoved by the outburst as a dead tree log.
"I'll drive you home. Hiashi's already dismissed Kakashi for the night." His light grey eyes meet mine.
"Sure, whatever."
His car has leather seats and Green Day stickers all over the dashboard. It's a weird combination - his traditionalist appearance and the car, I mean. Like a 19th century brick building with a sleek jet plane on top of it. Like X-men. I love X-men.
Neji looks at me out of the corner of his eye when he thinks I'm not looking. He obviously didn't catch me staring at his chest muscles earlier. He keeps staring, nevertheless, and it starts to get on my nerves. I suck in a deep breath and swivel my head around to return his gaze.
"What?"
"What you did was utterly idiotic." He hits the brakes at a traffic light.
"Well, I didn't see you sticking up for Hinata so that was utterly dickish of you." I try not to concentrate on the way his jaw clenches when he's tense.
"That was a family situation, Tenten, you of all people should know not to get involved in them."
My nostrils flare in indignation. "Me, of all people? Since you know me so well, person I just met today, you could give me a little more insight about myself!"
"Tenten Sarutobi, granddaughter of Hiruzen Sarutobi, Mayor of Konoha. Am I correct?" I stay silent, slightly shocked at how much he knew about me. Granted, the mayor doesn't really have the most private life, but, still. Neji continues.
"He keeps a remarkably stiff upper lip about his personal life, and hates it when other people get involved with his family. I may have only known you for one hour, Tenten, but you don't strike me as someone who would enjoy having your private life probed and examined." He's right, and I hate admitting it. So I remain silent instead. Neji follows my lead and steers the car in the directions I gave him earlier on.
I start rationalising my thoughts. Me sticking up for Hinata and showing off my truffle knowledge accomplished nothing, really. It probably got her into even more trouble. I groan internally, regretting my impulsive actions. Hinata frequently rants about her dad's strict upbringing, and his steel-cold methods of tough love and punishment - not inhumane, but they still unkind and harsh. Grandpa's number one rule comes back to me like a slap to the face. I couldn't run away from a problem even if I tried to, and look where it got me?
His car comes to smooth halt at the door of my apartment building, jolting me out of my thoughts. I can see the confusion on his face - you don't live with the Sarutobis? - but he makes no motion to ask me about it.
"So, thanks, I guess. For the lift." He nods a Hiashi-like nod. "And for, you know. Sticking up for me earlier. Um, thanks."
For a minute, he's silent, as if debating the correct response to my gratitude. And then it happens, so fleeting and beautiful that it lit up the entire night sky. Neji smiled.
"No problem."
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