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"Neji."
"Tenten." Neji replies with a nod, and proceeds to extract a particularly hefty encyclopaedia from his backpack. Pressing it against the bottom of a locker with his knee, he withdraws a set of keys and jams it into the lock. He looks down, then back up at me. "Can you..."
"Oh, right. Sure thing." I heave the encyclopaedia into my arms while Neji neatly hangs his bag on a hook inside the locker. I hand it back. "A bit of light reading?"
He smirks, light eyes glancing at me sideways. "We're starting on Japanese history for Revolutions. I'd borrowed this from the library just this morning." He opens it up to the back page, waving away the clouds of dust that fly out from in between the pages. "Although it seems that I'm only the second person who's borrowed it."
"Only?" I ask, incredulously, "Who's the first person?"
"I. U., 1983."
"Mazel Tov."
"Thanks," he tosses it onto a shelf, grabs a few textbooks from the locker, and slams it shut. "Isn't your locker on the other side of the school?"
It isn't a reproachful tone. "English," I reply, noticing Hinata ambling towards Neji morosely, "I just saw you here on my way over." She sees me standing beside him, frowns, then turns around and walks away. Ouch.
I watch him comb a hand through his hair, which is starting to fall just below his eyebrows. It's not slicked back, as is the Neji-norm, but scruffier and less...refined.
"Indeed," his voice trails off when he sees his cousin at the classroom door, "Excuse me." He walks over to Hinata with a hint of concern on his features. I watch tears glaze over her eyes when he addresses her in a low tone, and step back. Whatever the conflict is, the last thing I want to do is get involved again.
The bells rings seconds after both Neji and Hinata walk down the corridor and into the nearest classroom, presumably Lit, since it's the only class they have together aside from Chem. By the time I arrive at the classroom, Ms Yuuhi is already writing up today's agenda on the whiteboard in perfect calligraphy, and Ino greets me from her seat at the front. I stride over, wincing from the pain that shoots up my leg when I take a faulty step.
Incidentally, being a couch potato for two months before resuming back-breaking, Rock Lee-standard exercise is probably the worst decision I've ever made. My leg muscles are aching from the strenuous exercise, and there's a nasty bruise on my bicep from where Lee punched me during a sparring match.
Ino, who makes a point of jogging every morning and gymming every second day, agrees.
"No pain no gain, Tennie," she bites into an apple and chews it thoroughly. "You're doing your body a favour."
"Sure."
"Good morning," Ms Yuuhi greets us cordially, "please take out your books." She pulls her out her own copy of Nineteen Eighty-Four, front cover flawlessly laminated with coloured tabs on the side and immaculate annotations on every page.
I take out a battered copy that's probably dating back to whenever it was published, probably the sixties, and open the first page carefully. It decides to stop hanging on to the spine for dear life and flutters down to the table top.
"That book looks like it's seen better days." Ino, who's still eating her apple fervently, bites down on it and rearranges her books. "I forgot mine today. Care to share?"
"Sharing is caring," I mumble agreeably, "I didn't know that we were allowed to eat in class."
"Yeah, it's a real struggle. Woe is the day that social order is challenged by the plenty. Or, something like that."
"Brecht?"
"Yamanaka," she responds without missing a beat.
"Detention." A voice calls out to them from the front. Our backs stiffen. "Potentially, if you don't keep quiet until next period."
So we put our heads down obediently and read passages from the dilapidated novel in succession, carefully turning each page and annotating it with careful pen strokes. Note to self: buy a new book before this one crumbles.
"Class dismissed. Tenten, if I could have a quick word with you?"
The bell rings immediately after she finishes speaking, leaving me stranded in the middle of a classroom, friendless and somewhat confused.
I haven't played hooky in a while now, nor have I ever stepped out of line enough to warrant a Speaking To.
"Yes, Ms Yuuhi?"
She smiles, simultaneously writing out a note on a slip of paper and handing it over. "For your next teacher. I just wanted to touch base with you, see if there were any troubles going on now that you're living away from home."
The eggshells crack. "With all due respect, or none at all, Kurenai, that's none of your concern."
"Tenten," she says, a little more firmly. "Your well being is my utmost concern; I promised to take care of you when-"
"Forget about it. I can take care of myself."
Fact file: Kurenai Sarutobi, née Yuuhi. Former high school sweetheart then second wife of Sarutobi, Asuma - AKA, my dad.
Why the hostility?
It's hard not to be, especially when she's so nice.
"Tenten. You need to eliminate any animosity you harbor towards me for your own sake. It's unhealthy to continue this rebellious streak so persistently." She's calm and composed, and it grates on my nerves that she looks completely sympathetic the entire way through.
"Sure," I reply, "I'll stop. When my dad comes back from the grave, and when my mother comes back from avoiding my existence like the plague."
She shuts up, but only momentarily. "It's unhealthy to hold on to this much anger."
"I'm not angry. Just disappointed."
"Why are you disappointed?"
I take a step back, realising that my frustration is starting to ebb away and her sympathetic, understanding gaze is starting to hit home and feel like home. I don't need this.
"No," my books start to tumble out of my arms when I rush towards the classroom door, "Nope. We are not heading down this path."
She remains in her seat, patient and radiating kindness. Damn her. "I'll be here when you need me, Tenten. Always."
To my credit, no tears leak out of my eyes when I run to the Chemistry room, or when I slam open the door and hand over the note to Mr Umino (who smiles the perpetually-kind smile he always has on his face), or even when I'm assigned to the same lab group as Hinata and Neji (poor, unassuming Mr Umino, who thinks we're all the best of friends, is too nice to teach. Seriously.) and not even when some hydrochloric acid spills onto the newly-laundered blouse I'm wearing underneath the lab coat.
Yeah, it doesn't seem too bad now, but when you're living on your own and paying for seventy percent of the bills and working at a small restaurant periodically, you'd cry too.
Umino walks by our lab bench minutes after my whole fiasco, in which water had to be splashed over the front of my shirt to dilute the acid, and smiles kindly again. He's blissfully unaware of the hostile glares that Hinata's throwing at me behind her safety goggles, and of the awkward glances that Neji's throwing in our direction. The third member of our group is, coincidentally, Kibbles. Kiba. The sub.
He chuckles when we completely fail at obtaining the right colour change and calmly instructs us on how to correctly perform a titration. I like to think that I could care less, when there are so many more problems I need to deal with, but clearly I'm kidding myself. The work starts to consume me the way it does when I wholly dedicate myself to a task, and I listen to his words with acute ears.
"Then, when the first permanent colour change appears, you twist the knob shut and record your data values from the bottom," he claps his hands together merrily, "I suggest you four split into two groups and work faster from this point onwards. The other tables have already progressed much further than yours." He spots us avoiding each other's eyes like no tomorrow, then smirks. "Hinata and Tenten, you two should split off together. You're much quieter than usual these days." He drifts off at the last sentence and returns to his empathetic and pleasant expression, then walks away. I take it back. Clearly, he's working for Danzo.
We divide ourselves obediently, mainly because Umino keeps coming back to our table and tut-tutting every time he sees how inefficiently we're working and saying reverse-inspirational comments like, "Hinata, Tenten! I expect more from the two of you!"
Hinata refuses to look at me, when I ask her for the data values, when I tell her that the colour's already changed permanently, and when I ask Neji to ask her to stop avoiding me. She gets angrier at the last statement, then finally turns and hisses at me, "Don't pull my family into this. If you want me to talk, figure out a way to do that yourself."
"But I was."
She ignores me, nevertheless, all the way through the prac, and gets the values wrong because she refuses to listen, or hear, or talk, until finally- I crack.
"Alright, you know what? I have no idea what the hell is going on with you these days. So what? I made you angry, and your dad humiliated you in front of all your friends. I tried apologising to you already! Several times! You're the one who avoids me whenever I get close and glares at me whenever I'm within ten metres of you! And you know what? I didn't get angry at you, didn't get irrationally upset, the entire time, because I thought that you needed space, and that when you wanted to talk, then we'd talk." She reels back in shock when my face starts to morph into a nasty snarl. "I don't care how upset you are at me, or what's going on at home right now. When we're in school, and when our-my education is on the line, and when these lessons will be the determiners of my future, don't you dare sabotage it with your petty problems."
"Tenten-" I hear Neji interject.
The bell signalling the end rings when my tirade ends. I storm away from the bench, ignoring the flabbergasted rows of students classmates staring at me when I stomp around like an elephant. This'll be a field day for them. Mr Umino calls out to me, and I double-back.
"Sir," I grit my teeth.
"Tenten," he says softly, letting the other students file out one by one after they've finished cleaning the benches. I feel a sudden spike of guilt for storming off and leaving the others to pack up after me. "I hope you realise the consequences of your actions."
"Sir, if you're going to punish me for being disruptive in the lab, then Hinata should be held accountable as well."
"I am aware of the conflict," he replies, eyes knowing and suddenly world-weary, "The both of you will be assigned a detention for Monday afternoon." He doesn't say anything else and walks back to his desk. I take it as a sign of dismissal, and push the door open gently on my way out.
"Tenten." Kami. It's impossible to catch a break in this place. I look up, seeing Neji staring at me coldly with his arms crossed over his chest. Hinata's standing behind him indignantly.
"What?" I respond. It comes out sharper than I intend, thankfully. His eyes barely twitch.
"You know what."
"I'm afraid you'll have to be a bit more specific," I say coolly. He glares, and surprisingly it isn't as frightening as it should be.
"You insulted Hinata."
"I'm sure she'll manage."
"That isn't the point, Tenten."
"Look," I glance down at my wrist in faux-concern, "I have roughly one minute before I get the hell away from you two and return to my own life, where no one flips their shit on me then has the gall to act affronted about me standing up for myself," I throw a look at Hinata, "and no one prioritises their friendship or their education over being petty and unproductive and unprofessional. What happened at Hyuga Mansion was my fault, I acknowledge that, and I've tried to make up for my mistakes. Hinata, you haven't even bothered to work with me here, and now Neji is the one who's speaking to me on your behalf. I'm not even sure if it's on your behalf, and clearly we don't matter to you as much as this conflict. Whatever you two have cooked up underneath your sleeves for me, I want out. In fact, I am out. Fuck this friendship, I'm sick of the Hyugas."
With a painful twirl of my foot, I walk away without looking back at them, but revelling in my victory.
It takes approximately two milliseconds to realise how completely and utterly not-indifferent I feel about breaking up with Hinata.
In doing so, I've lost my confidante and the best friend I'd known for a solid decade. I turn around, suddenly summoning up the nerve to run up to her and take back my words, but the hallway was empty.
She doesn't care.
The voice rings mercilessly inside my mind.
It's your fault. It is. I don't have a right to regret my actions when I'm the one who broke it off in the first place. Who am I to feel hurt and crushed and heartbroken when Hinata doesn't even bother to feign concern? She hightailed it away with Neji at her heels less than two seconds after I turned my back! Not even, two seconds!
"Tenten?" Sakura shouts.
Why is everyone calling out to me these days? I should start charging them.
"Tenten." It's a masculine voice this time.
"Tenten, let's get you up." Sakura's green eyes bore into mine the moment I curl out of the shrimp-position I didn't know I was in. I look behind her, see Sasuke, then look back at her again.
"Sorry for interrupting you guys," they glance at each other, confused.
"I don't know what you're talking about. We had to see Tsunade to discuss our transfer fees."
"Oh."
"That doesn't matter," she brushes invisible dust off my clothes, "What happened? Are you feeling well?"
"I guess not," I confess, "Can we get food?"
"Sure," Sasuke leads the way wordlessly, "Sure thing."
The Dowager Empress acts out of turn today, and places the glittering necklace around your neck with her own hands. The moon-shaped pendant rests just below your collarbones and shimmers brilliantly as the sunlight hits it.
You bow gracefully. Head down, back straight, smile gently. Rise.
"You look divine," her wizened old hands caress your cheeks tenderly, "As expected from my granddaughter."
The handmaidens continue to fuss over your hair, pinning elegant jewels into your up-do while you try your best not to grimace in front of the imposing woman. She isn't characterised by a forgiving attitude, and tolerates no imperfection, regardless of one's bloodline.
"Thank you, Dowager Empress."
You're given a pat on the shoulder and a blessing of good luck before she leaves; you finally let out a breath when the sliding door closes behind her. The handmaidens finish off the last-minute touches to your wedding robes, and step back to assess their work. The Queen walks in shortly afterwards, and praises the maids for their work. They are dismissed.
"My daughter," she greets you fondly. You smile in response and bow out the formalities. She hushes you, "This is your day, my child. Your father is proud," you see tears forming at the corners of her brown eyes, "As am I. May your marriage to the shogun lord be prosperous and fulfilling." You read between the lines: bear many sons for your new husband, or face the consequences.
None of this is voiced, you are not the impulsive girl you used to be. "I am honoured to be given this responsibility, my Queen. May the future of our country be pious and true." Your mother sobs a little, then leaves the room to be at the wedding hall earlier. You suck in a deep breath, careful not to disturb any of the cosmetic work that the maids' had tirelessly slaved over for her.
In a few minutes, you will meet your husband at the altar, and drink from the goblet to celebrate your Heavenly union. Then, at night-
You blush, acknowledging the technicalities of a consummation. The doors open for the final time, revealing two guards and a kind-faced woman. She gives you the last gentle smile of the day, before you step into the world of cruel politics and malicious court-women that you've been trying to avoid your entire life prior to this moment.
Another deep breath in, and out. One step forward, two steps forward. This life will become easier.
The rest of the day passes by in a blur.
I recall gritting my teeth through a surprise maths-test, and throwing a bunch of basketballs around in PE, then chewing my way through something, hopefully it was food at lunch and somehow making my way home on foot.
I numbly jam my keys into the lock and twist them around. The door opens with a pop, and a jingle of wind chimes, and reveals a wizened old woman standing on the other side, shocked.
"Um." That jolted me out of my stupor. I take a few steps back, taking in the smooth lines of a black, slate-tile roof and the ornate carvings of a cherry-wood door. The old woman smiles at me, a familiar set of deep, brown eyes twinkling.
"Tenten."
"Gramma?" My speech slurs when I jump into her arms. She pats my back, bemused.
"Sweetheart, the years haven't been kind to your weight."
I laugh, letting go of her small frame and wiping a few stray tears from my eyes.
"Don't cry, Tenten, you look horrible when you cry." I smile weakly at her unspoken request. "There," she reaches for my cheek with a wrinkled hand and strokes it gently, "My beautiful girl."
"When did you come back?"
"Just today," she leads me into the Sarutobi Mansion's living room, where Gramps and Grandma Biwako are reclining on the couches. "Your paternals were more than generous." They greet us merrily.
"You weren't at the funeral."
Her eyes turn downcast. "You felt abandoned."
"Lonely," I correct her, "But you're going to stay this time, right?" I ask her hopefully.
"Until you graduate. I owe you that much."
"You owe me nothing, Grandma."
"But your mother does." Her gaze turns towards the Sarutobi grandparents. "Any news on my daughter?"
They suddenly look terrifyingly uncomfortable. "We're doing everything we can," Grandpa Hiruzen admits, "But she's untraceable."
She sighs, shakes her head, and smiles ruefully. "I'd thought as much. She's as stealthy as I am." The dying sun illuminates her greying hair and casts a shadow over her tired features. She looks up at me, "Thank goodness you didn't inherit our genes, Tenten. You stand firm. You're strong. I only pray that you being her mirror image doesn't impact on your resolve." Standing up slowly, Grandma presses a gentle kiss to my forehead and heads up the stairs with Biwako. "I hope you visit every day, sweetheart, it's always a pleasure to see you."
guest (flamer): I'm not actually going to give this person a response, because clearly, as one of the guests pointed out, s/he hadn't even bothered to read through the story so there's really no point in saying anything.
Guest: Thank you for clearing up guest (flamer's) review and reassuring me that s/he does this on a regular basis. I agree that s/he is being quite subjective with their judgement, but it's absolutely fine. I appreciate your insight and your support, however, and thank you for being transparent with me about this. All the best!
Guest: Haha, true. Hinata has been pretty "beachy" for a while now, and as this is one of the key parts of the story, I guess you need to keep reading to find out!
Guest: That is a very acute guess, and I guess that his transportation may or may not be the case? Haha, I'm taking a leaf out of jazzberryjuice's book and being deliberately vague (I love her work), but I'm glad that you're interested in his character! Hope you keep enjoying the story!
Anyway, thanks for reading everyone! I'll try to update soon, but meanwhile: please review!
-misspandalily