Thank you, favouriters and followers! Also, Reiyaame, PuppyLoveCharm, guest, thanks for reviewing! Guest response is down below, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
"I'm not trying to antagonise you or anything," the screensaver fizzles away, revealing a raunchy-looking website with questionable advertisements on the side, "but, why on earth would Sasuke sign himself up for a swinger's party?"
Temari looks back at me, to where I'm surrounded by papers and papers of homework and struggling not to fall asleep from the ennui that is mathematics. She feigns a look of contempt.
"He's a mature man."
"He doesn't even have a girlfriend. Or, a boyfriend. Partner - whatever, I don't discriminate." She swivels around on my chair and clicks on Sasuke's profile. A image of his face photoshopped onto a Schwarneggian figure pops up. "This was probably Naruto's doing."
"You don't say," she smirks, then closes the tab and clears my - all her - search history, and turns to face me with her long legs crossed over each other. "But, there are more pressing matters. Like, for instance, your non-friendship with Hinata. What the hell happened?"
Maths, what a subject. "M'suddenly fascinated by projectile motion. Why don't you help me out a bit here?"
Temari huffs impatiently. "Stop avoiding my question every time I bring her up, Tenten. It's not worth it, destroying an eight-year friendship over something so trivial."
"Well, when you put it like that," I start off, eyebrows still furrowing at the worksheet, "I almost feel guilty for standing up for myself. Not."
"Care to tell me how, though? You're telling me everything except for what happened."
My book snaps shut. "Look," I seethe, at no one in particular, "All I did was try to cooperate with her during chem, alright? It is not my fault that she refuses to acknowledge how sorry I am for demoting her in front of her dad, unintentionally, might I add," Temari's face is impassive and apathetic, "and then refuses to work with me! If she's willing to jeopardise both of our educations over something so trivial that she won't even let go, then I have nothing to say to her. There are other things I'm trying to cope with right now, and her if she wants to talk to me about whatever is happening between us, then she can approach me by herself now."
My chest is heaving from the rant, and I can feel the blood draining away from my face when I'm done. Temari's still, unnervingly, as unfazed by it as a rock. She detangles her legs and faces the desktop screen again.
"Well?" I ask angrily, "Why aren't you saying anything anymore?"
Stone cold, "Fair point," she scrolls down a Wikipedia page and starts to type up her Revolutions report, the one she said she'd start like, two hours ago, "I'm not about to question your priorities."
I don't go back to my homework. "What don't I know, Temari?" Something flickers in her eyes when I question her. She freezes up, then relaxes.
"You need to keep this a secret, until Hinata works up the courage to tell you herself."
"Have I ever let one out?"
Temari smiles lightly, "No."
"Then, what is it?"
She relinquishes her hold on the mouse and keyboard and leans back into the chair. "Hinata's been conflicted, as of late. She doesn't sleep, doesn't eat, barely manages to pull herself together whenever she shows up at Ino's house. Naruto's seen the same things too, but he's not spilling on why. It just seems like there's something bigger going on at home than you, or any of us, think, Tenten."
"That still doesn't explain why she's so angry at me all the time, though."
"True," her eyes turn, downcast, "But maybe you're just one of the root causes? You know Hinata as well as we do. She doesn't know how to handle anger and rage like us. Everything about her life up until this point has been subordination after subordination; there's no way that this much anger towards you isn't warranted. I hate to be the lecturer, and the overbearing Hiashi in this situation, but remember that when you were mourning over your parents, Hinata was the one who catered to you the most. She didn't have to spend as much time with you as she did, so trust me when I say that there is no way that Hinata hates you. There's resentment, maybe, and hurt, definitely, but I doubt you two need to battle it out like jungle cats when there's so much more underlying love between the two of you."
Kami, why do I feel like the worst human being ever? The universe must be laughing at me for being such a horrible friend, because there is no way that I would've missed all that if I was attentive and alert. "So," I begin tersely, "What should I do?"
"Get ready for the family dinner tonight," she replies nonchalantly, as though the emotionally-jarring pep talk never actually happened, "You could use the time to recuperate while you're being the biggest turd-muffin of a friend, ever."
Wow. I deserve that.
As far as all Sarutobi family reunions go, this one's a knock out. There's Chinese on the tables, and sesame dumplings is served along with tofu soup and roasted chestnuts. Grandmas give me a pleasant smile and a cheerful wink when I show up at the front door, and it's all too soon that Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon (the Golden Trio of Konoha, in my opinion) are crashing landing onto me and calling out my name enthusiastically.
"Geroff," I groan, when someone's foot makes contact with my stomach, "I ate too much." They don't, but eventually a smooth, feminine voice calls them away for food and extends a hand for me to get up.
"You came," Kurenai greets me, eyes warm and inviting, "To be honest with you, I was expecting you to bail on us."
It is phenomenally difficult to stay angry at Kurenai for more than two seconds at a time, seriously. She just had to have that perennially-understanding expression and gentle smile and radiation of kindness, of all traits. Why.
"It's family," I shrug, and that's the limit of my talk-to-step-mum quota for the night. She seems to have concluded such an intention, which doesn't surprise me in the slightest because she's so analytical and empathetic, and backs off for the rest of the night to talk to her grown-up friends. It is actually impossible to describe her negatively.
"Tenten," Hiruzen Sarutobi clasps my shoulder warmly, "You're here! Come, let's have a talk." He leads us into the living room, where Konohamaru is currently giggling and sharing a comic strip with Moegi and Udon, and the Grandmas are chuckling merrily about idle gossip. We sit down, facing each other while huddled inside separate blankets.
It's cold, alright?
"How are you, Gramps?"
He laughs merrily, a stark contrast to the tense and silently-fuming Tenten-missed-her-detention grandfather, "Well, Tenten. I am well."
"Not stressed?" He usually is, being Mayor and all.
"No," he laughs to himself, "Not unless you have another detention soon."
Okay, actually...
"You do." He says blankly.
"Yes." I hug the blankets closer to my chest when his expression suddenly darkens, "On Monday."
"What for."
"I-" I start hesitantly, but figure that this story will look bad no matter how much I try to spin it, so I charge ahead, "I stormed out of my chemistry prac."
"Why."
Konohamaru's starting to find the least obtrusive way to sneak out of the living room with his friends, and the Grandmas don't seem to be affected at all, to be honest.
"I got angry at Hinata," I say truthfully. It sounds stupid, at face value.
"What did I tell you about my Golden Rule, Tenten? You promised to abide by all them when you moved out."
"Never run away from my problems," I whisper back, almost shaking in my seat. He notices the sudden, imposing tension in the room and simmers down a little until the only thing he's doing now is low-key glaring.
"You are a privileged, wealthy, and elitist female who attends the richest Academy in the Land of Fire." I wince at every word. "Your own personal issues with your classmates, however intense they seem at the time, should never get in the way of your education. Your behaviour," he adds, pointing his forefinger at me sternly, "Is in no way excusable, because as my granddaughter, and a citizen of the world, you are still expected to conduct yourself properly and accordingly-"
"Because I'm a girl?" I shout out, angrily. What is this? Lecture Tenten day? The entire house is silent. "Is it because I'm a girl that you're grilling into me like this? I never see you yelling at Konohamaru for getting detentions every week! When's the last time you've scolded him for that? Huh? Worse things have happened at school to warrant a detention, Grandpa! So what, I yelled at my friend for not cooperating with me during the stupid prac, because believe it or not, I have been doing my best to act accordingly! To her! I didn't run away from my problems, I addressed them head on and tried to resolve them - and obviously that didn't work!"
"This has nothing to do with your issues, nor your gender," he raises his voice when mine starts to increase in volume, "In fact, those are trivial matters - I treat your cousin in the same way that I treat you. You just haven't present enough to see it." Ouch, okay. I deserve that too. "My point, Tenten, if you would so kindly let me finish, is that as someone from a more privileged background and socioeconomic status than many people around the world, you need to acknowledge how lucky you are and you need to earn it. Because you are lucky, you don't need to work graveyard shifts in order to pay off your rent. Because you are lucky, you live in a bustling metropolis with plentiful career opportunities and a healthy political environment. I expect you to come down from your lofty pedestal of privilege and realise that life isn't so easy that your biggest problems revolve around friendship problems and internal insecurities.
"Your father died, yes, and that was a terrible event, but remember - my only son is dead." He pauses, a stricken look passing over his face. I can feel tears (of anger? sadness?) dribbling down my cheeks and onto the surrounding blanket."I still rose from Asuma's passing because there was still a village to run and a family to take care of here, in the living realm. Because I knew that somewhere outside of these city boundaries, many more people were suffering from problems worse that those we have." Another brief period of silence, the animated chatter slowly returns to the dining room, albeit forced. "In other words," Grandpa says, "get over yourself. And stop getting detentions."
Yeah.
Even though that happened, I still think the night's been a knockout. There's still Chinese food on the marble countertops, there's still sesame puddings left on a spare platter, there's still three little kids tackling me to the ground every two seconds and demanding High School Stories, there's still a step-mother who I may or may not be warming up to, slowly, there's still stiff nods from Grandpa even though he's the worst at staying angry at people, there's still Grandma Biwako and Grandma there to give out reassuring hugs like raffle tickets at a fundraiser event, there's still family.
In the end, when I step outside and see the taxi pulling up in the driveway to take me back home, when I walk up to the driver's window and tell him to go home to his family, when I step back inside and kiss all the old people who've raised me and the younger ones who've been my little babies since forever, it's family who'll be there for me - every step of the way. Even Dad. And possibly mother. Probably Kurenai.
"Tenten," Grandma greets me warmly, "Are you staying over?" She looks expectant, hopeful.
"Of course."
Your husband is handsome.
Even in the candlelight, inside the room that would inevitably lead to your pregnancy, inside the room that closes in on you and makes you feel constricted and intimidated, he is stunning.
It takes mere minutes for you to realise that he is moving closer, with his robes flying behind him and his steely eyes never leaving yours. You'd hardly talked during the wedding ceremony, because your parents and his parents were discussing all of the formalities of your marriage like it was a business deal rather than your life. You sigh - it's not like you weren't expecting to be treated dismissively upon your return. When your husband reaches you, and expertly pulls out the hairpins keeping your elaborate up-do together, he watches it tumble down below your shoulders to the middle of your thighs.
All the robes in the kingdom couldn't have prevented you from feeling so naked under his gaze.
"Princess," he whispers, his voice sending shudders down your spine, "Please allow me the honour of becoming your husband tonight."
This surprises you, for obvious reasons. You'd assumed that he would act as every other man in your life has - authoritatively and possessively. You think back to the man who ran away into the mountains with you, made love to you under the moonlight as you acted to defy the Holy Emperor's wishes, fought alongside you when angry, ripped-off merchants and their mercenaries hunted him down. And yet, you came back to the life you'd wanted to escape. You came back from the raw, passionate existence you had with that man, and returned to the Jade Palace, where everyone scrutinises your every move. Because that man brought you suffering and pain, but refused to let you go. You hated how restricted you felt; if anyone was to hold you down, it would be by your own choice.
A sick feeling rises in your stomach when you realise that an arranged marriage is in no way your choice, but at least you were the one who proposed it - somewhat foolishly.
The shogun lord begins to look confused when you don't answer him. He starts to step away as the Heavenly monks and shamans step in.
"Husband," your croaky voice calls out. "Let us consummate this marriage."
So.
Monday afternoon in detention.
Fan-freaking-tastic.
At least Umino's supervising us. Us, being me, Hinata and Neji (by proxy). Yay, dream squad.
"Alright, you three, detention starts right now. Now," he waggles a finger in the air, "I personally think you should all make use of your time and finish that homework I'd assigned to you, but, if you want to sit around and waste away while you could be doing something productive, go for your life. I won't judge you," except he totally is. His eyes are narrowed down at us so intently that we all wordlessly extract our worksheets and numbly fill out the questions. Well, I do. Neji doesn't.
He puts up his perfectly-manicured arm (whatever, it works) and says, "Sir, I've already finished off your homework."
Umino practically beams as he walks up to collect Neji's sheets, shooting me and Hinata a look-who's-getting-a-sticker-when-you're-not glance before striding back to his desk with a skip in his step.
Right, so Hinata.
Hiruzen rule numero uno. Right. Loft mountain of privilege to step off.
I clear my throat, then turn towards Hinata hesitantly. My legs are shaking so hard from nervousness that they start to rattle the table. She looks up at the sound, confused, eyebrows furrowing, then realises that it's coming from me and ducks her head down demurely. That's new.
"Hinata," I whisper, wary of Umino's supportive grin and thumbs up, "Hinata."
"What?" She replies softly. That is new as well.
"Can we talk?" Neji's starting to give us - me - threatening glares for disrupting his Holy Cone of Silence and Productivity and Non-Wasting-Away-ness, but whatever. I've seen scarier looks.
Hinata's starting to look as nervous as I feel, because now her eyes are doing that shaky, wobbly thing they do when she's under extreme pressure. "Sure."
I don't know what the heck happened on the weekend to spark this change in her, but I sure as hell am not complaining about it. Not for now, anyway. One step at a time. I suck in a deep breath. "I'm sorry for being so mean to you, the other day. I let my anger get the best of me; it was my fault."
She allows herself to meet my eyes. "That's fine," she says, bluntly.
"And," I decide to ignore the pressing need to not stir up more conflict and continue, "I still want to be your friend, even though we haven't been the best people to each other lately. And, I don't actually know what's troubling you, which I should've endeavoured to find out and help you with before I thought about myself, but I did realise over the weekend that-" I inhale again, noting the surprised look on her face that I'd actually admitted to one of my flaws, and the side-glare that Neji's still sending me, and the thumbs-up that Umino's still giving out, "You've been with me every step of the way, from when we were ten and planning escapades into the playgrounds, from when we both decided to go to the same high school even when you wanted to attend that Girl's Academy on the other side of town, and even when my dad died, you-you were always next to me and making sure I was okay. I'd never realised that," I pause to sniffle - pathetic, who sniffles in public? - and watch her expression morph from concealed hurt to perplexed happiness, "And I really, really, truly, want you to be in my life again. I miss you, girl."
Hinata opens her mouth to speak after a long, long, contemplative silence, during which Neji stops glaring and turns away and Mr Umino suddenly looks like he'd rather be marking our assignments than listening in.
"It's not just you, it's me. I mean," she lets out a grimace, "I was a total bitch to you as well, and it's not right for me to get so mad at you and refuse to let you apologise. I was stupid, and I don't blame you for being in the dark because you went through some tough times, and it's not like I told you what my problems were either." She drops off at the end, voice cracking. "I was so scared, and so stupid for letting my issues get in the way of our friendship."
"We were stupid." I grin, feeling the summer rays warm up my back.
"Agreed," she nods in response. Then, "I've missed you, too."
"We cool?"
She feigns another contemplative expression, then purses her lips like she's thinking it over. "Yeah, I guess," Hinata grins back, "Who else is going to pay for my food when Naruto isn't there?"
Of course, at that moment, Umino clears his throat and destroys the moment like the newly-discovered evil-brain-genius that he is and awkwardly rasps out: "Detention is over. Please, get out."
So, that's how, on a Monday afternoon, precisely one week after Hinata flipped her shit at me, and a few days after I flipped out on her, we end up walking side by side (with Neji on Hinata's right) to our homes while laughing and catching up on a week's worth of drama. Still, though. There's a nasty, prickly feeling that's been nagging at my head for a few days.
"I've been getting weird dreams lately," I swing my head around and look at her, "Like, they're about as weird as dreams normally get, but, like, they don't feel like dreams, you feel?" Great English, Tenten, you're a real, prize-winning public speaker.
Surprisingly, Hinata hums in agreement. "I know how you feel, it's a bit like reliving a memory, but in a dream."
"Wait, what?" I pause on the side-walk and gape for a few seconds. "How do you even know what I'm talking about?"
"Well," she stammers out, bemused, "I mean, the other day, I was dreaming about this time when my dad called us up to study, and it was a really hot day so I could remember how stressful it was and I could remember feeling really tired."
"Oh." I mumble. She looks at me curiously.
"What kind of dreams have you been having?"
"I don't know," I respond, catching Neji's eye-roll, "Strange ones about princesses and marriage and palaces and stuff. The faces are always blurry, too," I shrug it off, realising how stupid it sounds, "But the content isn't weird, so much as the fact that I can remember them. I usually forget about my dreams the moment I wake up!"
"Maybe it's just a phase," Hinata suggests airily, "I guess whatever your dream's about must be fascinating enough for you to remember. I honestly don't know how to help you with this." Ah, the brutally straight-forward Hinata, back again.
"That's alright," I reply agreeably, kicking a stone out of my path on the side-walk, "It doesn't really matter." Neji scoffs, clearly judging the triviality of our conversation. "Shut it, Neji."
Hinata giggles, "Yeah, shut it, Neji."
He stops scoffing, but makes it painfully clear that he's still judging us, if the mock-disdainful look is any indication of his scorn.
"In any case, I'm glad you're back."
We reach the door of my apartment building and exchange hugs before they amble off to the next block, probably to get picked up by Kakashi's fancy limo. I heave the door open, suddenly feeling the fatigue of the day drop down on me. My eyelids are positively drooping by the time I finish climbing up the staircase and reach the floor of my apartment, but there's one sight in particular that makes my eyes pop open in quiet shock.
The door is open.
With a shaky hand, I swing my arms forward - not an illusion. I step through, and am immediately greeted by the sight of everything thrown everywhere: the seasoning packets are open and spilled out all over the kitchen floor, my schoolbooks, graded assignments and stationary kits are lying all over the floor, and the insides of my couch are ripped up, fluff falling out of it in clouds of white.
And okay, I'm a messy person by nature, but even this - this - is a bit of a push.
Thank you, universe, for taking me ten steps forward, then twenty steps backward.
I move forward again, rushing into the bedroom and checking for anything salvageable - nope, nothing. Not even the desktop computer (which, whoever you are, you could've stolen instead of destroyed if you wanted cash - unless you were paid to defile my house for a large sum of money) or the innocent books lying around on the ground.
And then - and then - it's there, sitting on my bed without a care in the world, words drizzling down the poster paper like blood.
I'm coming for you.
guest: Look, I get it. You're telling off the previous guest who left a harmless criticism a few chapters back. I know that you're upset, but it's really okay! Don't worry, I won't be discouraged by unsatisfied readers. Thanks for your concern, though!
Anyway, hope you liked this chapter, I know I liked writing it.
-misspandalily
