19
DISCLAIMER: As usual with these sorts of things, I own nothing the fabulous J.K Rowling has so generously bestowed upon me. I do not profit from these works, I just get enjoyment from working in the world she created.
XXX
"FIVE MINUTE TIME OUT!" I shouted, releasing the referee's whistle I conjured.
"THERE'S NO TIME OUT IN WAR!" George called back, continuing to send a barrage of snowballs at the weakened top deck—A.K.A. the reason we needed the time out in the first place.
"FIVE MINUTE TIME OUT OR SO HELP ME, GEORGE WEASLEY, THE PERSONAL TIMEOUT YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF FACING WILL LAST A LOT LONGER THAN THAT!" I threatened back without shame. The situation had reached a point of desperation where cheap shots were warranted.
"CEASE FIRE!" I heard George command, and then said at a lower volume, "Okay, guys. Let's give the girls their break." The latter comment earned a round of snickers, groans, and a few sounds that resembled the cracking of a whip. Smirking with the knowledge I still help the upper hand in at least one area of my life, I returned to the group of nearly defeated girls. The collective thought was that I should have accepted the boys' previous offer of admitted defeat instead of prolonging the beatdown with a time out.
"All right everyone, listen up!" I started, starting into the eyes of everyone in front of me before moving on. Due to the fact the girls on the top floor came running down just in time before the second floor collapsed and snowed in the staircase, I do mean everyone.
"I know you all think that we've lost already. That we all gave our best efforts and should just admit defeat. Move on. And if you believe that…you are wrong on three counts." I accused no one in particular, but by the looks on a few faces, I could tell my words had offended them. It was to them I address the next part of my speech.
"First off, we haven't lost anything, yet. Even if this structure collapsed around us, we haven't lost until we've stopped fighting. Second and third, if you're ready to give up, you aren't giving it your all. If you're ready to give up, then give up. Now is your chance to walk away without any of us thinking any less of you. But if you're not giving up, if you choose to stay and not give it your all, that's what makes you a quitter—a loser.
"And I don't know about any of you, but I am not a loser. When this timeout is over, I am going to give it everything I've got and if I'm going down, I'm down fighting." I proclaimed, pumping my fist into the air. I was met with a few half-hearted cheers and the sound of someone clearing their throat.
"That's all well and good but how are we going to beat them?" Hermione asked, causing those too frightened to speak up to nod their heads vehemently.
"I'm glad you asked, Granger." I grinned, continuing. "I've been holding out on using this move for a few years now, knowing one day I'd need It more than I did then. This is the part where I must ask you to trust me. Its essential our secret weapon remains just that until its ready to be used. While I'm preparing it, I need you all to be working as efficiently as possible to make sure a constant, full blown assault is launched to the bases of their structure. Its essential for the plan to work. Can you make sure that happens?"
"Aye, Aye, Captain." Ginny saluted. "There's just one thing."
"That being?"
"We don't have enough open space to fire from."
"Honestly; are you a witch or what?" I sighed playfully, flicking my wand lazily over my shoulder , widening the openings to support the caliber of attack. As I finished, the warning buzzer sounded, alerting both teams that the break was over.
"Remember, leave now if you've given up; stay and fight if you're ready for it. But for the love of Merlin, if you stand by my side show no mercy!"
"ARE YOU LADIES READY TO GIVE UP?" Fred called, savoring victory prematurely.
Before I had time to blink, much less think of a witty response, came the unified battle cry of "NO MERCY!". The air around me came alive with the rush of a hundred snowballs whirling past.
Not to be outdone, the boys launched their counterattack. This jumpstarted me back into action. Few precious minutes remained to turn the battle in our favor and I needed to use each one wisely. Skillfully dodging the line of fire, I made my way to the back of the fortress.
"That's right! Keep it up! Show them what a bunch of girls can do!" I encouraged them before making the opening large enough for me to slip through. Even as I resealed the seam, from the other side of a solid foot of compacted ice, I heard their battle cry as loud as ever—"NO MERCY!"
Taking a second to get my bearings, I made sure I was alone before diving into my work. I constructed the largest catapult I could in such a small window of time. Combining the skills I learned from arithmancy lessons as well as muggle mathematics lessons my parents had forced me enroll in every summer, I was able to perform the essential calculations for the plan to work. The snow had to be tightly compacted and designed to hit their structure at just the right angle for maximum impact. I had been studying the structure during the fight, adjusting numbers in my calculations, just in case the battle lead to this very moment. I would never admit this, especially not to my parents, but the dreaded summer classes I've been attending since eleven had actually paid off.
I was confident in the plan as I lifted the monstrous specter of compacted snow into the back of the catapult. Once it was in position, I took a deep calming breath, knowing it would all be over soon. I used my wand as a lever, launching the plan into action by hurling the snow bomb over the fortress and into the air.
I heard the cry of "INCOMING!" and muffled, panicked yelping as I rushed back inside to see if the catapult assault had been successful. I was proud to see girls still firing diligently.
For a moment I was conflicted by the sense of victory as I saw the attack was successful—the roof was caving in on the structure and unlike ours it could not withstand the pressure. The same sight caused a moment of panic. George and Fred (not to mention twenty other people) were in there.
"ABANDON SHIP! Abandon ship!" I heard Fred order as the wall blasted open with a loud crack of ice as the boys inside came tumbling out. Suddenly, I cared less about victory and more about the well-being of the defeated.
"Stop firing! STOP" I yelled, stumbling clumsily through the hole in the wall in my attempts to get to George as quickly as possible. If my stupid plan got him hurt…
Before my mind could even process the fact I had stopped running, I found myself kneeling in the snow with George in my arms. The blue of his eyes were what caused me to get lost in my thoughts as well as what brought me back from them. His voice is what broke through to me and suddenly I was actually seeing him again.
"Slow down, Drells. 'M fine. Everyone's fine." He soothed me, calming down enough that he attempted to make a joke. "And you shouldn't be apologizing for your brilliance. Even if you did kick our bloody arses so bad it's embarrassing."
"Are you sure everyone is okay?" I asked, listening for the signs of someone calling out in distress.
"Everyone all right?" George asked loudly, looking into the faces of the disgruntled young wizards licking their wounds before us. The crowd replied with vague affirmations to their health and no one appeared to have gone MIA
"So, did we win or what?" Someone called back from the female frontline.
"Fair and square, love." George said, impressively keeping any harbored resentment from showing.
"I'll be wanting that Snow Crown after dinner and a whole coronation ceremony, you know." I grinned wickedly, taking immense satisfaction in reciting his own words back to him.
"Oh, I know." George said dramatically before kissing me. "And you'll get one befitting of the Queen you are. Now go and gloat." He dismissed me, pointing over to my still standing fortress.
"Well, if you insist." I played right along with his dramatics, kissing him briefly yet forcefully before breaking away. I ran back to the girls, who had begun to pile out of the entrance waiting for the decree of the victor.
"WE WON! WE BLOODY DID IT!" I screamed, unable to resist the urge to click my heels and pump my first in the air.
In the next second I was surrounded by arms, bodies all pressing into each other with me in the center. Angelina and Marcy, a fifth year Hufflepuff even in height, placed me on their shoulders and carried me all the way to the Great Hall. The girls and I cheered loud enough to block out the bitter mumblings of the boys coming to terms with their defeat. The girls and I sprawled out across the Gryffindor table to enjoy a late lunch, forcing the boys to either squeeze in the limited remaining seats or sit at one of the remaining House tables.
Cheering with goblets full of pumpkin juice, we did not care about the volume of our mirth or the disturbance it may have posed to others. We were simply too elated to care, or at least, I was. Six years with not one victory until today, and I say that was something worth celebrating. Of course, the joy would prove to be short-lived, as it tended to be with my luck.
"MISS WENDLING!" The irate voice of Severus Snape boomed from the entrance as the professor stormed down the aisle to where I was sitting at the middle of the Gryffindor table.
"What have I done now?" I groaned, meaning it to be an aside to Angelina who was sitting next to me. Of course, Snape heard it and it served to annoy him further.
"What haven't you done? Mister Flint is in the hospital wing cursed so badly Madam Pomfrey doesn't know where to begin!" Professor Snape seethed, closing in on where I was sitting. He was still shouting, everyone in the hall had turned to watch our exchange.
"If Madam Pomfrey doesn't know how to cure him, I don't see how I could be of any help, Professor." I answered sincerely, turning around in my seat but still not getting up. As I said, there was little point.
"Seeing as you're the one who hexed him, Miss Wendling. You'll be the one to help undo what damage you've inflicted." Snape proclaimed as he came to stand in front of where I was sitting. "50 points from Gryffindor—"
"Professor!" I exclaimed, watching in horror as the mound of rubies depleted from the hourglass in the banner hanging above the table.
"Another 20 points for interrupting me." Snape said in deadpan, raising his hand to stop any further outburst. "And I think another 20 for every hour that Mister Flint remains afflicted. Any further disputes, Miss Wendling?"
"No," I spit out and as I saw his eyes flash added, " Professor Snape, Sir."
"Good. Now off you get unless you're hoping to lose an even hundred points in less than 10 minutes?" Professor Snape smirked down at me.
Even as I stood up, he still towered over me—a constant reminder of his standing, his position, the reasons we couldn't knock that smug little smirk off his greasy little face….
"If that's the case, I would be more than happy to help." He added, as if he was reading my thoughts, praying for an excuse to deduct more house points from Gryffindor. I wouldn't put it past him.Slimy Git. As I marched out of the Great Hall with my head held high, I felt vindicated by the outrages of my housemates, but I was determined not to lose anymore points. Instead, I appeased my rage by allowing myself to get creative in cursing his name on the way to the Hospital Wing.
XXX
I resisted the urge to smash through the doors, knowing how upsetting it would be to Poppy. After all, she was nothing but an innocent bystander in this horrid affair. Honestly, leave it to Snape to give the cruel punishment of having to undo my own work. I'd rather be on one of those stretching racks Filch is always on about.
Don't talk about things you know nothing about.
I was startled by the voice that had stayed silent since my earlier episode in the forest. She had not been kind earlier but he she did not seem menacing now, if anything melancholy was a better fit. I didn't respond and she didn't reply, but I was thoroughly shaken as I entered the hospital wing in a more subdued way than originally intended. I knew it was a sign of insanity, hearing voices, but it was hardly something I could deal with now. No one was equipped to help me because I had no idea what was going on enough to explain it and as the minutes ticked by I became that much closer to losing another 20 points for Gryffindor.
I found Flint's instantly, as Poppy was leaning over his bed poking at one of the numerous boils littered across his blistered skin. "Sure did a number one you, haven't they? I just hope you've learned whatever lesson the person who cursed you was trying to teach."
"I doubt that he has." I scoffed, frightening them both. I rolled my eyes on the terror written across Flint's face clear as day despite all the disfigurement. "But he isn't worth the trouble." I raised my wand, pointed it between his eyeballs and fought the urge to utter a hundred more hexes instead of the one that would undo all that was already done.
In a second, Marcus Flint's face was returned to its usual flavor of ugly, all my work in imaginative reconstruction erased. He kept his eyes closed as he cowered even as he no doubt felt the relief from pain. I respected his decision to show fear as a wise one, given as how close a call it came to me speaking a different spell—one that would book me an all expenses paid vacation to a cell in Azkaban.
"Well, then. I would say I was disappointed in your use of magic, but I am equally as impressed by it so we'll just leave it at that, shall we?" Poppy said, the hint of a smile peeking through her stoic mask.
"Sounds good to me, Madam Pomfrey"
"Not to be taken offensively, dear, but off you get and I hope to not see you for at least one solid week." The nurse ordered.
"Fair enough. " I agreed, already spinning around back toward the exit. I wanted to be as far away from Marcus Flint as physically possible while remaining on school grounds and did not need to be told twice.
I kept my wand at the ready as I stormed down the hallways, daring anyone to get in my way. I was seething mad, my vision starting to blur as my rage turned liquid. I needed to get away from everyone before I hurt anyone else. I let my feet set a course to getting me outside and away from the scrutiny of onlookers. If possible, it might do my temper well to get out and fly, whether with or without aid of my Nimbus.
A peaceful escape was not in the cards for me, it would seem. Just as I rounded another corner and thought I was free, I heard the sound of approaching footsteps and someone calling out for me to wait.
"Wendling! Wait up!"
"Sod off, Flint." I demanded, whipping around to face my unwanted company. I was thankful I had the sense to keep my wand out and that Flint had not been quick enough to raise his. Now we stood with the both of us seething, but only the one of us armed. I keep my wand aimed at his nose, he kept his hand lingering over his pocket, unable to retrieve his own.
"What's your bloody problem?" Flint retorted, acting mighty tough for someone that was virtually defenseless.
"You are!" I shot back.
Something about my answer caused him to smirk as he came to a halt in front of me. He was looking far to relaxed for my comfort and I had to use every last ounce of restraint not to curse him again. He stood there staring at me with smug look on his face until I couldn't stay silent any longer.
"What could possibly be amusing about this situation? I ought to transfigure you into an ice cube and banish you the Sahara desert." I threatened.
"You could, but then you'd most likely be expelled. Snape would make sure of it." Flint shrugged, not looking nearly concerned by having my wand trained on him.
"Do you see anyone here to witness the events of your 'tragic' disappearance?" I hissed, feeling the anger raise in me with the indignation of his reaction. He looked around the deserted hallway, seeming pleased by the fact. In my desperation to avoid another outburst, I had lead us to an all but abandoned portion of the castle.
"No, but there was a pub full of people who could attest to you assaulting me only hours before. I'm sure that wouldn't help your case." Flint beamed.
"What do you want?" I repeated the question, unimpressed by the shaky sound of my voice or how my feet were stepping back on their own accord. I didn't realize the latter until my back was pressed against the stone wall.
"I already told you." Flint sighed with a hint of amusement. "I want to know what your problem is with me. If this is your way of letting me know you have a crush on me, I'll have you know there are easier ways."
"Crush on you? Are you joking or starking mad?"
"You're not denying it." Flint smirked, taking a step toward me. My aim had slipped in outrage of the accusation, giving him just enough time to retrieve his own and now our wands were level, barely an inch away from touching.
"That's because it's a ludicrous notion barely worth the breath or the effort."
"That's not a denial, Wendling." Flint teased. "So, why don't you tell me what this is all really about?"
My mouth snapped opened and shut several times. Dozens of insults rested on my tongue but I said none of them, a thousand more curses, hexes, and plots of revenge danced across my mind but I cast none of them. I stood instead, taking deep breaths, attempting to talk myself out of murder.
Marcus Flint misinterpreted my silence. "It's okay, Mudblood. I won't tell your blood traitor boyfriend that you'd rather sleep with me. Just say the words; It can be our secret."
"How dare you—"
"State the truth?" Flint accused. "It's clear you want to fuck me."
"You wish, Flint. I'd rather fuck the giant squid than come anywhere near you."
"Seem pretty close now, don't we, Wendling?" Flint countered, noting the closing gap between us as we both got in the other's face. The realization registered differently for the both of us, but at exactly the same time. I raised my wand to cast a spell as Flint anticipated it, ducking around and lunging for my middle. My back scrapped against the ruts of the stone wall as my body collapsed to the floor under the weight of his.
"GET OFF OF ME!" I roared, kicking and hitting any piece of flesh I could come in contact with as I struggled to remove him.
"Shut up! A secret romp is fine, but I don't want to risk being seen with a filthy Mudblood like you." Flint hissed, snapping his hand over my mouth to silence me. I bit down on his dirty hands, satisfied by the pained yelp it earned, as well as a distraction sufficient enough to dislodge Flint. His hands reached out to trap my arms in his strong grip, keeping me close to the ground with him. I was straddling his hips, fighting to keep the upper hand by keeping him pinned to the ground when I felt the evidence of his arousal growing against my stomach.
Acting on impulse, I smashed my fist into his face, then my knee between his legs. I continued to pound him with my fists instead of searching for my misplaced wand. I wasn't necessarily prone to physical violence, but I couldn't begin to explain how satisfying it was to feel his flesh give to my fists as I pummeled him.
"How dare you say such disgusting things to me! I don't know what I've done to give you the idea that your presence does anything for me except make my appetite disappear and my skin crawl, but I hope this clears up the confusion." I promised, moving so that I was no longer straddling his hips and instead standing over him in what I was sure to be a threatening way. He wasn't even fighting back, just using his hands to shield further injury to his family jewels.
"You even think about touching me again and I'll make sure I aim a little lower and make it physically impossible for you produce genetic offspring, as if that wouldn't be a gift to a world." I spat at him, literally spitting in his face before bringing my foot down to smash in his already broken nose.
I started to turn away before thinking better of it. I pointed my wand at his face and cast a spell to clean him up but I couldn't bring myself to relieve the pain this time. "Go ahead and rat me out to Snape if you want, but don't for a second think I didn't mean what I said—Touch me again and die."
I changed my course, having to head back the way I came so I could get up to Dumbledore's office in time for our meeting. I'd rather not show up seething, but Flint ruined that plan as quickly as it had formed. I just hoped that wouldn't be the only topic of discussion tonight. I had far more pressing matters I hope Dumbledore would be able to clear up for—mainly my more recently vocal consciouses. I heard the distinct sound of an amused snort ringing in my ears, proving my point. They were hardly advocates for the righteous path. While I was beating in Flint's face, I heard them both cheering, one of them giving me tips on my technique.
I don't know if I minded their presence, but I couldn't deny it wasn't exactly normal.
You're not normal. We've been over this.
I fought the urge to respond, deciding to ignore the topic all together. I needed to calm down, and fighting with the voices in my head wouldn't do that for me. I thought of George instead. Specifically, I imagined the party he would be planning right now in the Gryffindor common room in honor of my victory—if he knew what was good for him. I thought of myself with the snow crown on my head, wearing my dress to the yule ball, only this version was white and silver. The daydream was beginning to work its magic when I experienced déjà vu as I heard someone calling for me to "wait up" once again.
All rational thought flew out the window, my mind clouded with red. My reaction was whip around, wand ready to make good on my promises. "What did I tell you about fucking off, Flint?" I snapped out the first thing that came to mind. If I had been thinking clearly, I might have paused and realized that the person in front of me didn't even vaguely resemble Marcus Flint.
"It's me, Andi." Elliott said, his hands up in surrender. "I didn't meant to scare you."
"You didn't scare me." I shot back. I realized only after the words left my mouth how harsh they sounded in attempts to cover my embarrassment.
"I'm sorry. I was just trying to get your attention." He conceded, always the gentleman. Of course, that only made me feel worse for nearly banishing him to the Serengeti.
"Its fine. I'm just late to an appointment. What did you want me for?" I asked.
He paused a moment before speaking, giving me a strange look. "What's going on with you and Marcus Flint?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you attacked him at The Three Broomsticks and I'd bet a galleon you've just come back from having another row." Elliott concluded.
"Elliott, I don't have time for this. I'm—"
"Late, I know. Just answer me one question and I'll drop it, okay?" He pleaded.
"Fine, but then I've really got to go." I huffed, knowing this would be the fastest route to be back on my way.
"Is he hurting you?" Elliott asked gently, his hand reaching out to rest on my forearm.
Loaded question.
The answer all comes down to semantics. "No." It's not a lie, because the question only asks about the present. If he asked in general if he had ever hurt me, I'm not sure if it would count as a lie.
Technically, it never happened.
Either way, he doesn't believe me. He just stares at me harder, squeezes my arm, and says, "If you need someone to talk to, I hope you know I'm always willing and happy to listen."
"Thanks, Elliott." I smile back at him through tight lips, pat his hand where it grips my arm. "That means a lot, but I've really got to go now."
"Of course, sorry. Maybe we can catch up later?" Elliott smiles at me and squeezes my arm one last time before letting go.
"Sure thing. See you, tomorrow." I promise half-heartedly. I never heard his reply if he said one; I was already tearing off down the hallway. I didn't see the way he watched me until I disappeared around a corner, nor did I see him stalk off in the direction of the dungeon. All I knew was that I had less than ten minutes to make it to the Headmaster's office.
Once again, I arrived in a breathless huff with less than a minute to spare. I coughed out the password, forcing myself to make it to the top of the stairs before giving into the urge to collapse. I promised myself for the hundredth time that I would start running laps, even with the snow—clearly I needed it.
"Nice of you to join us, Wendling." An unexpected voice said in a very unwelcoming tone. "Terrorizing another one of my students?"
"No, Professor, Sir." I shot back sarcastically before standing up straight and remembering where I was.
"Don't lie to me, girl. You're flustered about something." Snape accused.
"Nothing you'd care to hear about." I retorted unable to catch myself from speaking out.
"Well, we'll just see about that won't we." Snape smirked maliciously, not raising to the bait like I expected. Instead he peered down his hooked nose with a rather smug look on his face as he eyes remained on mine. I felt violated by the look, as if he well and true could see right inside my mind but I couldn't look away. I saw a flicker of an indistinguishable emotion before his eyes iced back over and I could finally look away.
"That is enough, Severus." Professor Dumbledore spoke for the first time. I hadn't even noticed him. From where he stood at the window ledge, I couldn't discern him from the shadows. "That isn't why we're here tonight."
"Why are we all here professor?" I questioned, making sure to make my disdain for Professor Snape's presence was clearly known without being overtly disrespectful.
"We are here tonight to continue your lessons, Andrella." He said simply, moving out of the shadows so that he stood before us. Now that he was closer, I could see just how tired he appeared. At my confused and slightly terrified reaction, Dumbledore continued. "There is one particularly skill I believe it essential you master quickly and for that, you need an instructor more versed than myself."
"Professor?"
"Professor Snape is here to teach you the skill of occlumency. Do you know that is?" Dumbledore asked.
"Yes, Professor."
"Do you understand why it is crucial for your safety to learn this one particular skill?" Dumbledore asked. His eyes spoke of the secrets we were both fearful of getting into the wrong hands and I understood the weight of his question.
"Yes, Professor, I do." I nodded my head, overcome with a sense of humility. It was evident in his voice how daunting a task protecting me has become for him.
"Very well," Dumbledore nodded his head, the ghost of a twinkle flashing in his eye. "Andrella, I must ask you put whatever personal feelings you have toward Professor Snape aside. Out of all of allies, Professor Snape truly is the most skilled occulemence I have encountered. I ask that you put learning what he has to teach you as a top priority and respect that he is doing this only as a personal favor to me."
"I will, Headmaster." I vowed solemnly. Swallowing my pride, I turned to Professor Snape and was damn proud of myself when I was able to meet his eyes. "Thank you, Professor Snape for agreeing to instruct me. I promise that I will give these lessons the effort and respect they deserve."
"That'll do, Miss Wendling." Snape held up his hand to stop me. He looked as uncomfortable as I felt hearing me be polite to him. "I will be waiting for you in my office when Dumbledore dismisses you."
"Thank you, Severus." Dumbledore said to Snape's retreating form.
Although it was muffled by distance, it was still clear that he snorted in response. "Don't thank me, yet. It might be a lost cause for that one."
I was proud of my ability to ignore the comment and turn back to Professor Dumbledore instead. The amusement was back in his eyes again as he waited for me to speak. I waited a few minutes even though I was on the verge of blurting everything out. I wanted to drag out the suspense, if only for the purpose of imagining the more outrageous reactions the voices were screaming for in my mind.
"Do you honestly trust Snape enough to give him access to the information floating around in my mind given the connections he has to Malfoy?" I asked pointedly, figuring Dumbledore would only allow for one snide comment about the matter before dismissing it all together.
"I trust Professor Snape with my life and I trust him to protect yours. I would never have asked him to do this if I did not trust him fully." Dumbledore replied calm as ever.
"What if he sees something I don't want him to see?" I asked, recalling the flash of emotion in his eye before. If he hasn't already…
"I suggest you learn quickly enough that that doesn't happen." He chuckled before realizing how humorless I found the situation to be. "Regardless, he has already been bound to secrecy in regards to any information disclosed in lesson."
"Okay, is there anything else?" I asked, ready to get this whole thing over with. Honestly, I had been excited to get further in elemental control. The change in plans may have been surprising, but it certainly wasn't in a good way.
"No, Andrella. We'll resume our other lessons once Professor Snape reports you have made significant progress. Until then, you'll meet him in his office every Saturday for Occlumency lessons and continue with your potions lessons on Tuesdays. Is that understood?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow at my blank expression, clearly expecting an outrage.
"Yes, Professor." I nodded.
"Very well. Off you get! I wouldn't keep Professor Snape waiting much longer if I was you. You know how he gets." Dumbledore dismissed me with a wave of his hand and a chuckle at his own joke.
I waited until my back was turned to roll my eyes. Out of all the images racing around in my mind, that was the most civil of suggestions and it at least mildly pleased my disembodied guides. I set off toward the dungeon. Although it wasn't funny in the slightest, what Dumbledore said was true-You didn't want to keep Snape waiting.
I looked around the deserted hall, making sure I was truly alone before casting an invisibility spell on myself. I wanted to repeats of the journey here. I didn't have time to duel or brush off concern. I had to have all my wits about me before going into this mental battle with Snape. If he really was the best, better than Dumbledore himself even, then this was going to be a nightmare. There was a very distinct possibility that one if not all of my deepest secrets would be revealed to someone who hated me. There were too many memories to protect at once and I was fearful of which ones would slip through. I wasn't even sure which would be the worst?
The twins and I breaking a variety of school rules (which I'm sure he'd be happy to expel us for)? George and I being intimate? Me exposing my powers? The conversations I've had with the voices in my head?
What almost happened that night?
He already saw that.
You don't know that.
That would be the worst, by far. What would he say? How would be look at me after? Would he tell someone? Would he do nothing?
Stop it, right now.
What? Great. The mean one's back.
You need to pull yourself together and think of something else. Think of you and George. It might be embarrassing but you cannot let this man know our secrets, Andrella. Dumbledore may trust him, but his loyalty is not to you.
She's right. If that man wants to pry make it as unpleasant for him as it will be for you. We're going to go now. No one can know about us.
Where are you going? Are you real?
Of course, we're real.
We're going somewhere you can find us when you're ready. Just call to us and we will reappear.
I don't know your names. How will I call you?
Never speak our names allowed, but if you think the name Romona, I will appear to you.
Call upon Neviah and we shall meet again soon.
Unless they were speaking to me, I had never noticed their physical presence before. Now that I was sure they were gone, I felt a vacancy in my mind. It felt too quiet and the chill that crept up my spine wasn't from the decrease in temperature as I walked further into the dungeon. Not that I was ever necessarily thrilled by their untimely appearances to give unhelpful input, I couldn't deny it was odd. I haven't felt this alone in quite some time and I wasn't sure how to process it. Fortunately, I was nearly at Snape's office.
Time had run out for internal debates, I had to prepare my mind to block him out. I envisioned myself building walls around the memories and knowledge I needed to keep hidden away. Ramona and Neviah had never sounded so serious before and I had the distinct impression their parting words were commands rather than requests. Romona was right, there were always sacrifices in war and Snape seeing my most intimate encounters with George was better than him knowing exactly what powers I possess and how I got them. If they wanted me to give him a show great enough to scare Snape from prying, I was more than capable of rising to the challenge.
I rounded the corner to Snape's office feeling prepared to take on an army much less one lone potions professor. Admirable in spirit, but completely misguided. I didn't even see him, much less hear him cast the spell but I immediately felt its effect. I saw snippets of my own memories blur by in disconnected fragments-my parents and I riding the trolley to and from my daycare, the boardwalk near my Aunt's house that we visited every summer. It was innocent enough but it frightened me how the situation was already out of my control. In true panicked fashion, I began thinking about the very things I didn't want him to know.
I saw myself walking down the hallway and I only knew what I was recalling by the unmistakable sense of dread I felt knot in my stomach. I tried to think of anything else, of my parents, my aunt, George, even Fred-anyone else but Marcus Flint. I could hear his voice taunting me, the lavashish tone clear despite the distorted quality of my memories. I heard the daunting chuckle of the other Slytherins; I could feel Snape's presence in my mind, silently observing some of my darkest moments.
"Stop." I pleaded, too frightened to care how weak I sounded. I watched as the full body bind was cast and I fell into Lucian's awaiting arms. I shuddered as the perspective shifted toward the ceiling as I was carried out of the hallway to the more secluded classroom. The shaky motion as my eyes moved in desperation, transported me back to that night as if it was happening again. He couldn't see this.
"Make me, Andrella." Snape demanded, although he didn't sound nearly as harsh as he normally did when speaking to me.
"STOP!" I shrieked, imagining a wall of darkness descending downward, blocking the memory of Lucian and my unconscious body from entering the room. The imagined wall cut through the scene like an obsidian haze until everything returned to darkness and I dared to open my eyes.
Snape stood looking at me with his usual emotionless face. "Well done, Miss Wendling. That didn't take nearly as long as I imagined it would."
And here I was, almost convinced he had a smudge of compassion hidden somewhere beneath that greasy hair. I thought this loudly, hoping that if Snape was still listening he would hear me loud and clear.
"What business does Flint have with you?" Snape scowled. It was hopeful that he received the message.
"None as far as I'm concerned." I replied, finally getting my bearings back. If you have never had your mind invaded, note: not a walk in the park.
"Then why would you create such a scene in the middle of the Three Broomsticks, if he is no concern of yours?" Snape countered.
"If he isn't prepared to deal with the consequences, he shouldn't cross me." I snipped back, too tired to deal with formalities.
"What happened that night?"
"What night?"
"Don't be obtuse. The night you don't want me to see. What happened in that room?" Snape, spreading his hands so that they laid flat against the desk.
"Nothing."
"Remember that I can find the information out much more efficiently on my own. I'm giving you the chance to tell me yourself." Snape growled, visibly fed up with my feigned ignorance.
"Nothing happened." I insisted. No way in Hell would I ever willingly tell you.
"Very well then, Miss Wendling. If you do not want me to know the truth you must be able to stop me from getting the information I want." Snape said solemnly before raising his wand. Before I could even think about casting a shield charm he had cast the silent charm and once again I was overcome with the unpleasant, invasive feeling.
I saw the shield of darkness I conjured come crumbling down as Snape persisted. Time was moving with incredible speed, as if my memories were stills in a film flickering past. Instead of watching the past enfold as if replaying the horror movie that is my life, I felt trapped inside my body. As if being forced to relive this wasn't bad enough, I could the oppressive presence of Snape looking on.
"Stop!" I ordered whether to Snape or to Flint it wasn't clear. He was climbing on top of me, I could the phantom weight of his body crushing me down to the desk.
Time skipped ahead to the moment I was most dreading-having to hear all of the awful things Flint said to me after tossing my underwear aside to be forgotten on the floor.
"STOP!" I yelled again, desperate for it to end. I only succeeded in forcing time forward to where I was now punching Flint in the face.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" I growled, desperate to regain a sense of control I have not felt since winning the snowball fight this morning. I was exhausted, but I needed to remember what I was told. Snape could not be trusted.
"It's done!" I felt my memories start to fade away from reach but I wasn't quick enough to shield Snape from hearing me cast the spell that would erase half of the Slytherin Quidditch teams' memories.
When we returned to the tense reality of the showdown in Snape's dingy lit office, it would have been a true contest as to who looked more livid. Neither of us broke the charged silence. For what felt like an eternity, we stood across the desk glaring at each other until final Snape's face felt back into the apathetic mask to which I was accustomed.
"Do you trust me?" He asked.
"No."
"Fair enough. But let me ask you this." He paused to wait for my response. When he didn't get more than a shrug he continued. "Do you believe me when I tell that if you wanted to put motion to expel those who...assaulted you, I would be the first person to go to Dumbledore in your name?"
I blinked at him, unequipped to process his sudden claim to defend me-against his own house at that. I didn't doubt his sincerity for a moment even if I didn't know to react to it. "Yes." I finally answered after realizing how long it had been since he asked the question.
"Is that what you wish to do?" Snape inquired.
"No."
"No?" He raised an eyebrow, as if disappointed in my decision.
"There would be no use. You are a clever man, you know the influence of the fathers the people in that room possess." When it looked like he was about to disagree, I raised up my hand to stop him. "Please, Professor. Just let it go. Professor Dumbledore told me that what you learned in these session would remain sworn under secrecy. I and now you are the only two people with an intact memory of what happened that night. I've put it in my past and I ask you do the same."
"Are you absolutely certain, Miss Wendling?"
"Yes, Professor. It's best for everyone if it never happened."
"If you insist, Miss Wendling. Do I have your word that if you wish to change your mind you will report to me immediately?" Snape asked in what has got to be the kindest tone he has ever used while speaking to anyone outside his ring of Slytherin pets.
"Yes, Professor."
"Right. I believe you have proved that you are at least not a total waste of effort. I will not be able to host a meeting next Saturday, but I fully expect a complete parchment on the uses and various brewing techniques for the different draughts for invoking prophetic dreams."
"Thank you, Professor." I said sincerely for the first time in the six years I have known the man.
"Now get out of my sight. I've spent enough of my personal time on you today. Do not be late on Tuesday. It will take the full hour to brew the draught." Snape barked, whipping around dramatically. I'm not sure what he was doing exactly, but I didn't have time to dwell.
Despite how strangely not-horrible Snape was treating me at the moment, I would never refuse an offer to vacate his presence. Besides now that that ordeal was over with, I had more pleasant matters to attend to-such as claiming my Snow Crown. Merlin knows that after the day I had, I could use some cheering up right about now. Thankfully, I know just the set of twins I can depend upon to do just that.
XXX
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
GOOD MORNING, LOVELY READERS. It is currently 7am where I am posting this. I should have been asleep hours ago but I have decided to stay up to publish this chapter. I admit that I am posting this without thoroughly correcting for mistakes, so I apologize if its crazy.
Speaking of mistakes, I realize now that in the past few chapters my font characteristics have not been applied properly. You may have noticed by now that Andrella keeps having detailed conversations with the voices in her head. I have been trying to distinguish between her inner monolog and the two crazy women whispering in her head. To be clear, I am trying to be cryptic about who they are, why they are there, and if they are even truly real or figments of her imagination. However, if this is really confusing me, just let me know and I'll try to clarify further without giving anything away.
To clarify-when Andrella is talking to herself in the head, not just narrating the story, her thoughts will appear italicized. When the kinder and sassier voice in her head is speaking, Neviah, the text will appear bolded and highlighted. When Ramona, the more straightforward and harsher of her two "companions", speaks the text will appear underline and italics.
Hope that wasn't confusing! Trying to go for something different here with the formatting and storyline.
As always, it is the support I receive from all of you reading that keeps me determined to write this story to the end! I appreciate all of you that follow, favorite, review, or simply read along silently. However, I'D LOVE TO HEAR WHAT YOU GUYS THOUGHT OF THIS CHAPTER.
No, seriously, no one else wants to talk to me about my "lame, heterosexual" fanfiction. The friends I've managed to turn on to fanfic will barely read anything that isn't Harry/Draco. Well, that's enough sleep deprived rambling from me. Love you all, hope to hear from you.
Ex's and Oh's
Audrey V. Sullivan