You Never Said That This Would Be Easy Chapter 26: The One With Truths Revealed, a harry potter fanfic

WARNING: THIS STORY HAS BECOME EXCEEDING AND UNEXPECTEDLY AU...EVEN MORE THAN I HAD ORIGINALLY INTENDED BUT IT'S GOT ME EXCITED TO WRITE SO I'M GOING WITH IT. ALSO, THIS STORY IS RATED THE WAY IT IS FOR VARIOUS REASONS-WE'LL COVER IT WITH THE CATCH-ALL OF "ADULT THEMES AND LANGUAGE".

GET YOUR NAPKINS READY, BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO SPILL A NEWLY IMAGINED "T" ALL UP ON THIS STORY FOR A BUNCH OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS. I MEAN, I DID JUST MENTION THIS IS GETTING SUPER AU, DIDN'T I? THIS FAR IN, WHY FIGHT IT?

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, CHAPTER 26, "THE ONE WITH TRUTHS REVEALED"

XXX

Sometimes it's easy to forget that scent is one of the most powerful tools in uncovering hidden memories. With my eyes still closed, it was all I had to indicate Snape had succeeded in unlocking my recollection of visiting The Land Beyond The Living.

On his first try, too. I'd have to remember not to underestimate him again.

When I finally did open my eyes, they focused in on the blurry outline of the cherry blossom trees lining a path. The fog was less dense than I remembered, but still hung heavy in the air with the floral scent I now associated with my mother-my birth mother.

Snape was looking at me with an unreadable expression when I finally spared him a glance. He did not capitalize on the opportunity to ask any of the countless questions sure to be running through his mind. Instead he simply inclined his head toward the path, where the slightly younger version of myself stood in the clothes I wore to bed that night, still tattered and bloodied from the attack.

We remained silent as we followed behind her as she slowly made her way through the fog. Both of us confused when she stopped suddenly after walking on for ages. When we came to stand beside her, we saw the two figures ahead.

"Do not be frightened, Andrella. We would never do anything to harm you." a familiar voice broke the building tension.

"You have no idea how long we have waited to meet you, child." A second voice added, just as familiar as the first.

No, It can't be...

Past-me approached the waiting figures. Snape and I followed her lead until we were able to make out the faces of two ethereal women.

Why don't I remember any of this…

"Andrella Jane Wendling, I can say that this is one vision I have been rather impatient to see into fruition." The shorter of the pair spoke, voice matching her smile in outward enthusiasm. Both versions of myself were smiling at her encouragement, despite our confusion.

"And I keep telling you Andrella's visit with us is premature at best." the raven-haired beauty snapped back, rolling her stormcloud eyes pointedly at the blond. Although clearly a few years older than the blond, it did not work in her detriment. Neither did the long scar running across her left cheek, for that matter. It could, however, be an explanation for how stern of an exterior she presented. "Not that I am not delighted to meet you, face-to-face, that is." She clarified, her entire persona softening with a subtle, but sure smile.

"Who are you?" Past-me asked, standing tall as she addressed the two strangers, but her voice cracked at the end.

"I am surprised you have not put it together yet, but no matter." The blond laughed at her private joke.

"You may call me Romona and this is Neviah." The raven-haired woman introduced herself and the beaming woman beside her.

"Right... and how do you know me?" Past-me risked a forward question.

"Destiny." Romona said in deadpan, a smirk cracking her emotionless mask when Neviah scoffed at her reply.

"As if that makes anything clearer, honestly." Neviah mumbled before turning her full, beaming attention to past-me. " We are your counterparts! Think of us as your spiritual guide to the afterlife. We've been chosen by Merlin himself to help you through the death process." Neviah's smile only grew brighter as she spoke, as if she had not twice mentioned death.

"Look at the poor girl, Nevi! She is half frightened to death or back to life as the case might be-pardon the unfortunate figure of speech! Honestly, how many times must you be reminded that you must not deliver unpleasant news-such as someone's untimely death-in such a way. It startles the new comers." Romona chastised Neviah before turning back to past-me with a smug expression.

"Not that you have anything to worry about, Andrella. You are strong enough to be the chosen one. I can feel it." Romona replied, as if that explained anything at all. The nod of confidence, even if she wasn't quite sure why it was given, was enough to balance out the confusion with an odd sense of pride. Before I could focus on that, Neviah interjected, refocusing my attention on their side-conversation.

"And how many times must I tell you-older, 'wiser' sister-That you mustn't get overconfident." Neviah said, using air quotes to express her skepticism at the use of 'wise' to describe Romona. "Intuition is not destiny."

"One in the same as this point." Romona scoffed turning back to past-me with a radiant smile. "You are going to prove them all wrong, are you not, Maledetto? Can you not feel your own strength and what it means?"

"No...I mean, what?" Past-me stuttered out an answer after a few minutes of intense scrutiny from Romona, making it clear she expected an answer.

"Do not let her confuse you, dear. She often forgets some of us are not as fluent in riddle." Neviah snorted, nudging her sister in the side. "Now who is frightening the girl?"

"She is not frightened, simply confused and she will understand in a few minutes" Romona defended.

"Um, excuse me?" Past-me cleared her throat, anxious to interrupt their bickering.

"Yes, dear?" Neviah asked.

"I'm sorry, I must have mistaken what you said, but it sounded like you said I was dead…" Past-me rambled on, afraid of the answer she would receive if she actually asked the question.

"You are not mistaken, dear. That is what I said." Neviah said, her tone as gentle as her smile.

"But-" Past-me began to panic, but Romona cut her off.

"But as I said, Andrella, you have nothing to fear. You will not remain dead for long. When you leave us, you will leave with your life. You have many questions but little time before you must leave us. Please ask them, child. Let us give you guidance, that is why we are here." Romona said.

"She is right about two things at least. You have time for a few questions before you must continue on. Please let us help." Neviah encouraged.

They were right of course, if I had as many questions as I did now, I could only imagine what was going through past-me's mind at this moment. Thankfully, Romona had the ability to clarify.

"It is natural to feel overwhelmed. Perhaps it would be better to first provide you with some facts about ourselves and our purpose to give direction to your questions?"

"Yes, I think that's best, Rom, but give her the condensed version. She'll be subject to your history lectures soon enough." Neviah agreed in a way that was hard to miss the teasing aftertone.

"When the time comes I am sure that Andrella will have the sense not to view them as a burden, however that is neither here nor there and certainly not helpful to her. So...how to put it. Let's see, let's see." Romona muttered to herself for a moment before a wicked smile broke her face in half, the image exaggerated by the long-healed cut. "Right, do you remember that lovely conversation you had with yourself in the woods the day you went dress shopping in Hogsmeade?"

"Uh, yes?" Past-me replied, obviously taken back by the specificity of the question.

"Well, I'd like to apologize for the way I spoke to you then. I will admit it was not true to how I view you or valid advice in the way to best forward your happiness. In fact, it was just about the opposite and I have been waiting months to apologize to you. The only reason I have not yet done so is because I wanted it to be face-to-face." Romona said, her words blunt but softened by her evident sincerity.

"What do you mean?" Past-me asked, faking naiety. Her words were something that revisited me in that darkness times, late at night when self-doubt was strongest.

"And that is what I apologize for, Andrella. The only purpose in my existence is to help you through yours and in our first encounter, I planted seeds of doubt-worse even that the doubt spread to yourself. Believe me, that was never the intention and I only hope you forgive me for my foolishness."

"Romona-" Neviah tried to interrupt with a kind smile and gentle hand coming to rest on her shoulder. Both were shaken off as Romona persisted.

"No, Neviah. This is something that must be said. I have caused harm and I must do as much as I can to repair that damage. I was stubborn and harsh in attempts to gauge your reaction to the cruelty of life, when I lost sight that I was acting as that cruelness. I never meant to present myself as such. I only want to protect you but I will do better to consider gentler methods in the future. Can you forgive me, child?" Romona finished her apology by looking down at past-me with clear apprehension.

"Yes." Past-me responded instantly, implicitly understanding. "I forgive you."

"Thank you, Andrella. Now, may I please explain why I was inclined to such an aggressive introduction?" Romona asked, looking visibly more at ease now that she had been forgiven.

"Yes." Past-me replied.

"Thank you." Romona nodded her head for longer than normal, looking like one of the absurd bobble-head figures her muggle cousin collected while doing so, but it seemed to help her gain the confidence to speak candidly. "I wanted to use your ignorance of what we were to test you. I knew that you thought that you were losing your mind and that hearing our voices was simply a symptom of that. I decided to use this to my advantage by verbalizing all of your deepest fears at a vulnerable time to see how you would react. I wanted to see how far you could be pushed and how you would pull yourself back up.

"I attacked your bonds with your mother and George because I know that they are your most meaningful and therefore most vulnerable relationships. I know our lives are destined to be littered by pain at destiny's hand, but I also know that we by nature inflict a great majority of our own suffering. I admit it was foolish but I thought the best way to learn how to best help when you inevitably become afflicted was to see how you dealt with it yourself."

"What do you mean?" Past-me could not help but interject.

"After you told us to go away, I stayed and listened. I remained present in your mind and watched your interaction with George. I stayed and watched you for the whole day." Romona admitted, a fond smile growing on her face as she spoke.

"And what I learned while watching you that day, specifically how you interacted with George and Fred, showed me everything I needed to know. You are stronger than me, than Neviah, your mother, and everyone else I know that has been gifted this cursed blood. You showed me what I had suspected but could never accept before-you will succeed because in the end, you need no one but your own intuition to guide you. You are strong enough to break this curse, Andrella, I will always believe that and be there to remind you if your own faith waivers."

Past-me did not know how to respond to that, present-me didn't either. I only hoped that Snape would be blind to the embarrassing tinge of pink on both of our cheeks. I pointedly looked at Neviah as she cleared her throat.

"I am sorry to rush you, dear, but we must be sending you off and I would feel bad if you did not get to ask at least one question. I am afraid there might only be time for the one." Neviah said in a calm, even tone.

"Right...so this curse you keep mentioning…?" Past-me prompted vaguely.

"Yes, child? What would you like to know?" Romona asked when past-me did not specify.

"Well, what is and why do you think I'll be the one to break it?" Past-me clarified.

"The Ismerte's curse is not something that can properly explained in the time we have remaining to us now. I can however, assure you that you will understand everything by this time next year. By the rules of the curse, I can also assure you that we will meet again face-to-face by this time next year. In simplest definition, this bloodcurse is one born of the deepest loss from the truest love, taken in the darkest ways. If you are to break this curse, you are to meet the same fate and conquer each trial by the strength of your faith. I have already told you the reason why I believe you are the one, my child, and I can elaborate more another time. Now you must go. " Romona said, as if anything she said made a lick of sense. The shy smile on her face as she gestured behind her into the fog indicated that her crypticness was carefully crafted.

"That doesn't make any sense and it isn't fair! You can't just tell me that and send me off! I demand you tell me everything!" Past-me shouted, barely able to contain the outrage simmering inside.

"I understand your rage, Andrella and I apologize, but we simply do not have the time now. When you are ready to learn more call upon our names and we will come to you." Neviah reassured past-me. Her smile dropped and her tone was suddenly very serious as she urged, "But please understand, Andrella. You must keep us secret. Tell no one, not George, Fred, Renae, Dumbledore or anyone else."

"But-"

"No, Andrella. She is right. However progressive and supportive they might prove to be, no one looks at hearing voices as a sign of stable mental health. No one will understand the truth of the situation or the complexity of how soulbinding by cursed blood can manifest. Discuss us with no one but Severus Snape." Romona instructed.

"Severus Snape?! Are you crazy? He's head of the death-eater house! Why the hell would I share anything with him willingly?" Past-me scoffed with such disdain it made me present-me cringe. With what I hoped was an apologetic-looking smile, I chanced a glance over at Snape, who seemed only mildly annoyed and equally amused by past opinions.

"You will do well to remember not to judge a person by a label. Soon you will learn that not all Slytherins are evil, not all Hufflepuffs are kind, not all Ravenclaws are wise, nor are all Gryffindors brave. You will grow to hate the ones you love and love the ones you hate. You will be betrayed by those closest to you and you will be avenged by those that will remain strangers. You will learn that those who are painted a certain way are often not and that you must trust your own instinct, not public opinion. Demonize no human for evil only exists in perception and no two eyes see the same. You will use your gift to learn this lesson and I will accept your apology when you realize the irony in what you have just said." Romona ranted on, bravado rising in gusto the longer she spoke.

The only reason I suspected she stopped was the physical prompting to calm-down by way of Neviah once again reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. Romona huffed loudly, crossed her arms over her chest and refused to say a word more.

Neviah rolled her eyes at the dramatics but spoke with a fondness that was hard to deny. "You will have to forgive her dear, she is in fact, the very definition of what it means to be Slytherin. A fact she is quite proud of, 'm afraid. Anyway, she's quite right and we don't have the time to argue. There is someone just over yonder that's been waiting to meet you just as long as we have. She'll find a way to banish our souls if we take all your time."

"What? Who are you talking about?" Past-me questioned, confused as she watched the two of them starting to fade away before her very eyes.

"Go on dear, there's nothing to be afraid of, just follow the path and you will find her. Emalena has been beside herself with giddiness since she felt your presence join us. She only just chickened out at the last moment and sent us to greet you. I think she'll be ready now. Go ahead, Andrella and remember we always travel alongside you." Neviah encouraged before she and a still pouting Romona completely evaporated into the fog.

Past-me trudged on, Snape and I diligently followed until I heard the familiar sound of harp strings gently being plucked. Two chairs materialized in the fog with a fair-haired woman sitting in the further of the two. She sat with her ankles crossed, staring at me over the oversized rim of her tea cup and her other hand gestured for me to join her..

Past-me sat down in the chair, the two versions of myself sizing her up but only one of us knew her true identity. Past-me had no idea how crucial this moment was, she thought this was nothing but a strange dream. How could I think anything else while it was happening? Would it have made a difference if I knew the woman sitting cross from me, casually sipping her tea was my birth mother? Of course, it would.

I looked over to Snape and couldn't miss how he was blank-faced and pointedly looking anywhere but my mother's face. This struck me as odd for many reasons, the first being how analytic of a person Snape has proven to be, I was sure he would be studying her face. I wasn't sure why he was avoiding her, but I made mental note to ask him about it later. For now, Emalena had begun to speak.

"Oh, Andrella. So long have I dreamt of you joining me, but never did I expect it to be this soon. You are still so young and pure, just barely scratched by this world's evils. I wished you would join me as an adult, not only in number but in mind." Emalena said with an undeniable somberness to her tone.

"Join you? Where?" Past-me pressed on, obviously still reeling from her conversation with her soul-sisters.

"In The Land Beyond The Living, between The Dead. It is also known as an obscure portion of Limbo to some and to the few Ismerte, it is their eternal resting place; Our home.." Emalena said.

"What is Ismerte?" Past-me pressed.

"Not what, child, but whom." Emalena corrected. "The Ismerte are the knowing. They are a different breed of Wizards and Witches that are identical in every aspect except the blood that flows through our veins is cursed. With the weight of knowing, comes the ability to access power beyond ordinary belief. We have no boundaries except for the ones we will place on ourselves. You will do well to remember that is especially the case when it comes to protecting their own."

"Who are you?" Past-me asked, squinting at the blond vision of beauty speaking in riddles before her.

"Who I am matters much less than who you will become." Emalena took another sip from her glass before suddenly turning her head and staring into the fog for a moment that stretched on for ages before she turned back to past-me. She stared at past-me for another long moment, taking in the dirt and gore past-me wore as a second skin. She made no comment, simply nodded her head once finished taking her inventory as offering a genuine smile.

"It seems I am mistaken, my dearest Andrella. Now is not your time and it never has been. You will be returned and you will return again, my child, and sooner than you may think. Be careful who you trust with not only your secrets but with your heart. When the time comes, weigh your mind and your heart on a level scale and embrace the one tipped in fate's favor. It will not be easy but it will be worth it." Emalena advised, inclining her head in past-me's direction.

With that abrupt farewell from my mother, we returned to Snape's office in a disorienting blink. I was glad that I was already seated, sure I would have collapsed otherwise. I had no doubt that Dumbledore's interpretation of my memory was reliable, but it was another thing entirely to experience it with undeniable proof that it was real. Especially now that I had so many new details to analyze.

Frankly, it was beyond the limits of my comprehension. Somehow, despite its impossibility-I knew it to be true. By the look on Snape's face, I deduced he had arrived at a similar conclusion. He cleared his throat and placed his folded hands on the desk between us. Right before I could tell he was about to speak, I raised my hand to silence him in the politest way I could manage.

"Professor Snape, if I may have permission to propose something bold?" I inquired, taking a rather large gamble depending on his reaction.

"Permission granted." Snape complied, smart to be wary of my uncharacteristic formality.

"After what you discovered in my memories, I believe it only fair to have questions. I intend to answer them all to the best of my ability with complete honesty, but first-"

"'But'? Be careful, Miss Wendling." Snape warned, tongue sharpening, ready to lash out if I stepped over the line.

Hell, with what I was about to propose I might as well leap over it and get a running start before he could stop me.

"With all due respect, Sir, that is exactly what I'm doing. I believe I can trust you with my secrets but recent situations suggest I might be overestimating my ability to judge a person's character. Especially once I have grown fond of them." I snapped back, fuelled by annoyance that I had to defend my plan before I had the chance to properly reveal it.

"What exactly are you trying to propose?" Snape asked, cutting straight to the point.

"Let me try and find the answers for myself. Grant me permission to access your mind only this time don't make it easy for me. If you don't want me to know something, by all means, try and hide it. Please, Professor, this has as much to do with you trusting me as it does with me trusting myself and my own intuitions." I pleaded.

"I do not mean to sound conceited but if Dumbledore nor the Dark Lord could accomplish such a task what makes you believe you will have success?" Snape asked, his tone more genuinely curious than condescending.

"I'm not entirely sure that I will but that's the trusting myself part. I have a theory and this is the only way to test it." I reaffirmed, seeing no point in being dishonest or any less vague. It was, afterall, until proven otherwise just a theory...not even that, more a hypothesis really.

"Fine, then. Do as you must, but as you said, I will not make it easy for you." Snape conceded.

"Thank you, Professor." I beamed at him, settling back into my chair.

Having utmost faith in my blind intuition after discovering the content of my hidden memories, I didn't even make a motion to lift my wand. I simply closed my eyes and focused my energy into willing Snape's mind to show the memories he'd most like to keep to himself. If my hypothesis was correct, I shouldn't need a spell or incantation. I should simply be able to ask his mind to show me what I needed to know-nothing more and nothing less.

Please show me who is Severus Snape, show me the truths that only he knows, the moments that define the person he is today…

Within a blink, the atmosphere had changed to one only achieved in memory and I knew instantly that I had succeeded in entering his thoughts. A quick glance around told me why.

The room was dark, damp, and cold in an identical way to the dungeon chambers where our bodies were still rooted. The only indication that we had left was the familiarly pungent scent of rust…

Blood. And a lot of it.

I turned to see the warped image of a small boy in the corner of the room, curled into the fetal position. He was naked except for bruises in varying states of healing and the blood that flowed out of too many wounds to count. If I wasn't consciously aware I was inside of Snape's memory I wouldn't have recognized Snape as a child. I might have even confused him for the older man that was alternating between gulping down more whisky and kicking the unresponsive boy in the stomach as he shouted about what a miserable waste of life the boy was. How he was no son of mine.

Thankfully the scene flashed quickly and when it did, it was a welcomed change. I saw the same boy lying in the grass with a red-haired girl beneath the shade of a tree on a sunny day. They were smiling and laughing. As I watched them, the air flickered, and they aged in rapid progression. I couldn't hear what they were talking about, but their conversations seemed light. I had never seen Snape's face carved into a genuine smile, nor had I seen his eyes so free of pain.

I recognized the girl as Lily Potter-or rather, Lily Evans at the time, and was instantly confused. I had no idea they were friends...or more. They way they were holding hands and laughing as they ran through fields of flowers, the look Snape held in his eyes was nothing short of admiration…

I had not suspected Snape to have a joyful life. However, the moment I realized the only known source of his smile was none other than Harry Potter's late mother, I knew this was going to be one of the rare glimpses of happiness among a life of misery…

Perhaps it was my thinking those thoughts that brought the direction of his memory into (slightly) more recent history. Snape and Lily were teenagers now-fifth year judging by the Gryffindor Prefect pin gleaming from Lily's robes. A fact that must have enabled their late night talks by the Black Lake, should they have gotten caught out of the castle at this time of night. Finally time had slowed enough for me to properly hear more than a snippet of a conversation.

"Don't be nervous, Lily. You know you can talk to me about anything." Teenage Snape reassured his extremely anxious looking friend. "Who else knows you better than me and vice versa?

"Sev, that's kind of the problem." Lily laughed, smiling fondly at Snape despite her nerves. "If I'm right about this, then I think you're not going to like what I have to say. In fact, I know you're going to downright hate it and...and frankly, I'm afraid you're going to hate me for even bringing it up."

"This must be important. I haven't heard you ramble this much since you've confessed to being attracted to that arrogant toerag." Snape replied, tone even as he smirked knowingly at his best friends.

"I told you to never mention that!" Lily shrieked, hitting Snape on his arm.

"Got you to shut up about him, didn't it?" Snape gloated, swatting her arms away from him.

"Funny you should say that considering you just brought him up." Lily said.

"What does that imbecile have to do with anything?" Snape scoffed.

"Well, not him exactly, but someone that you also consider an 'arrogant, imbecile, toerag'. If not more than James than as least as much, although if my theory is correct, then maybe that isn't as true as you'd like us to believe." Lily began to ramble on, not caring if Snape was following along enough.

"Could you just get to the point already, Lils?" Snape sighed, already frustrated with the subject.

"Do you love me, Sev?" Lily asked abruptly sitting up straight so she could look him in the eyes.

"Of course I do, Lily. You're like a sister to me, why are you asking me this?" Snape replied, his frustration turning to worry in an instant.

"But you're not in love with me, right? Like romantically?" Lily clarified, her nerves making her speak too fast, too high pitched.

"Oh, wow. No. Um, no, I'm sorry, Lily. I love you, Lily, but not like that. Do, do you-" Teenage Snape began to sweat as he stumbled through his response.

Thankfully, Lily put us all out of the misery of hearing him continue to stutter. "Good. I'm glad we're on the same page then. I view you as my brother and my best friend and I have for too long to see you as anything else."

"I feel the same way." he nodded, vehemently thankful for Lily's save, but no less curious.

"The reason I'm asking is...well, I've noticed you've been acting differently ever since I told you about me maybe, possibly having a crush on James…"

"There is no 'maybe, possibly'. As much as it displeases me, I've accepted it as fact. I suggest you do the same so you can get over it and find someone even better...not that it should be difficult." Teenage Snape snorted, amused by Lily's denial. "However, I don't see what this has to do with me?"

"Well...if you're not in love with me and you're clearly not in love with James?" Lily's voice tilted up at the end, making the statement into a question.

"Clearly not." Snape scoffed, appalled at the very suggestion.

"Then I can only come up with one other event that might have you behaving this way…" Lily hinted.

"What way?" Teenage Snape retorted, stubborn as ever to avoid talk on emotions.

"Cold, Withdrawn, Cruel." Lily supplied.

"That's just how I am."

"Not with me it isn't." She countered, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What do you want me to say?" Teenage Snape sighed, looking anywhere but Lily's face.

"I want you to tell me what happened in that closet while James and I were talking." Lily demanded, finally cutting straight to the chase.

"And I told you to leave it alone." Teenage Snape snapped back.

"Yeah, well, that isn't working for me anymore and it clearly isn't working for you. So c'mon, Sev, just tell me what happened already. We can plot our revenge together for whatever he did. I don't know what it was, but by the way you've been avoiding each other-"

"I always avoid him. I hate him." Snape defended, eyes narrowing into a glare.

Lily was not bothered by this. "You'd never both pass up the opportunity to hex each other or wish your stare alone developed the capacity to murder each other. Now you won't even glance in his direction. So whatever he did-and don't bother saying it was nothing- it must have crossed a big line. I just want to help you make him think twice for fucking you over every chance he gets, Sev. He's all bark, and it's time to show him your bite." Lily tried to offer reassurance but her words only seemed to do the opposite.

"JUST SHUT THE HELL UP, WOULD YOU?! Why can't you just leave me the bloody hell alone about it! I told you I didn't want to talk about it but you haven't stopped pushing! I love you, Lily, but you can be so bloody selfish with your complete inability to keep your nose out of other people's business! Why do you think you would be be able to help me with my love life when yours is a bloody disaster!" Teenage Snape exploding, letting out possibly years worth of bottled rage by the volume to which his voice rose before he finally realized his error. As soon as he realized his slip of the tongue Lily was too bright to miss, he picked himself off the ground and sprinted back into the castle.

As he ran, his thoughts drifted to the source of his frustration. As his eyes blurred with tears, the atmosphere blurred into the cramped, dark space of one of the dozens of broom closets Hogwarts had to offer. Judging on the dimensions and contents, I would guess the one on the sixth floor next to the East Wing bathroom. I was not ashamed to say that throughout our years of mischief, the twins and I have become familiar with all the closets, cupboards, passages, nooks, crannies, and possible hiding spots. In my more recent relationship with George, a more intimate knowledge has come about.

I expected to find Snape in the closet as Lily alluded, but no matter how obvious, what he was doing never crossed my mind...neither did who he was doing it with. Clearly, I was asking myself the wrong questions but I don't think there was any way to prepare myself for what I saw. Never in a million years did a expect to see Sirius Black's head thrown back in pure ecstasy as Severus Snape sucked a feverish trail across his clavicle, hands disappearing inside each other's robes. By the increasingly volumes of unholy sounds I never expected to hear coming from a Professor-much less Snape-it was more than obvious what their unseen hands were doing to elicit such sounds. I felt a pull to leave this memory and I readily obliged, happy to move on to whatever fresh horror awaited me.

The surroundings had changed again to an dilapidated shack, which by way of the layers of cobwebs and dust had sat otherwise vacant for a long time. This time Sirius and Snape laid on a filthy mattress with an even filthier blanket draped haphazardly over their presumably naked bodies. Its positioning was enough to let me keep my sanity by allowing that question to remain unanswered. However judging by the way Snape's body was draped across Sirius' and the satisfied grin on Sirius' face as he lazily traced over the scar patterns on Snape's back-it was clear what they had just finished doing.

"You know this really has to be the last time." Sirius sighed.

"You can't be serious." Snape groaned, half-hearted at best as he was trying to find the most comfortable way to bury himself in the nook of the other's chest.

"I'm always Sirius." He couldn't help himself from saying if his smirk wasn't give away enough. Snape didn't find his words amusing by the complete lack of response. Nor did he find the apparent humor in what Sirius said next.

"Wait-you didn't honestly believe we'd have any sort of future together, did you?" Sirius laughed. "I mean come on. I'm surprised we've even managed to get this far without strangling each other. And given your rope kink, I know we've both thought about it at least once."

"Are you seriously saying this to me not half and hour after having your tongue jammed down my throat?" Snape said in a low tone, his face dangerously blank.

"That's not the only place it's been, love, and as we just discussed...I'm always Sirius." He said with a cheeky grin, placing his hand on the slighter boy's forehead in mockery of feeling for his temperature. "You're usually quicker than this. Are you feeling okay, Sev?"

"Don't call me that! You have no right." Snape hissed, batting Sirius' hand away from his face. "Don't ever touch me again or even think of speaking to me again. What we never had will officially never be!"

The memory faded away as an irate teenage Severus Snape stormed out of the room wrapped only in the blanket they had previously shared, leaving a young Sirius Black stark naked and stunned by the rapid deterioration of their otherwise delightful evening.

When the image became clear enough to see again, I immediately recognized the Great Hall. Although, I'll admit it did take longer than it should have to adjust seeing it from the perspective of sitting at the Slytherin table. Snape was talking to Lucius Malfoy and a few of the older Slytherins while he casually glared across the hall. I turned to see the back of none other than Sirius Black.

The memory flashed again and we were back at the lake. It was sunny and a lot of students were out. They were all standing around laughing at the spectacle in front of them. None of them moved to interfere, everyone was content to sit back and enjoy the show of Severus Snape being publicly humiliated by Sirius and James. When Lily tried to help him afterwards, he unleashed his full misdirected frustrations on her by regrettably calling her a "mudblood".

I blinked and the scene changed again and I felt instinctively that it was going to be worse than anything I had seen before-which at this point in Snape's life, I had to admit was saying a lot. I saw Snape aged only a year or two, kneeling before Lord Voldemort. I watched as he pledged his allegiance to the dark lord. I watched as Voldemort branded him with his mark of senseless hate. I watched Snape willingly accept a death sentence at the age of seventeen- the same age I am now.

My discomfort did not lessen as his memory jumped to the next scene. I saw Severus Snape as a death eater, torturing and killing muggles in a raid to a small, farming town. I watched as he willingly rounded up women and children and participated in the eradication of an entire town's population. I watched from his perspective.

I saw the fear in my victim's eyes as my hand, my wand cast the fatal curse. Eventually the memories began to switch so quickly, every blink brought a new terrified face staring up at me. Every blink and there was another voice crying out, their pleads for salvation falling on deaf ears. Never once did I hesitate to cast the curse. Never once did I look away from their flashing, ever changing eyes as their soul vacated the bodies that fell to the ground at my feet.

The torture was worse to watch. Their fear was granted to quick end. So many faces blurred together, so many memories that they flickered together-the one constant was pain. Senseless demonstrations of radical idealism and sadism inflicted by my hand, in the name of the Dark Lord. I felt sick as I watched them squirm, heard them howl. I felt my own skin crawl and I urged his mind to guide us to more relevant topics. I needed and immediate reminder that these were visions of who Snape was, not who he is currently. And if they are not the same, I needed an explanation of how he managed to right himself after falling so far off the path of humanity.

I watch as Snape learned Voldemort's plan to massacre the Potters. It seemed to be enough to spark the realization that he was the only one in a position to save the woman he still considered his light. His memories flipped and I saw his inner turmoil clear on his face as he paced outside the Hogshead before he made the decision that would set his destiny in stone-die protecting the only person he loved or die loyal to a mad dictator who less than an hour ago ordered her death.

I watched Snape grovel at a notably younger Dumbledore's feet to help him save Lily Evans. We both flinched when Dumbledore corrected him-"Don't you mean Lily Potter, Severus?" I watched his vow to do anything in his power to save that woman's life-and in extenion her family. I watched Snape attend more Death Eater meetings, sitting close to Voldemort's right hand, but now I also watched him report the content of these meetings to Dumbledore in secret. I watched him torture and kill more ordered to suffer at the hand of Dark Lord, but it was now avoided at all costs.

More importantly, Snape now closed his eyes-no longer able to look his victims in the didn't matter that he closed them. He still saw it all as his wand arm worked off muscle memory. He saw the vibrant green of the killing curse reflected in their eyes, reminding them of his one scrap of humanity, his one source of sanity. The knowledge that Lily Evans was alive and happy was the only reason Snape did not end his miserable life the moment he realized he had wasted it in a constant state of hatred and rage. Now every time he lifted his wand, he might as well be murdering Lily…

I watched Snape rage at Dumbledore in the aftermath of her death. I watched him vow to protect the last living link to his lost light, her son-Harry Potter. I watched him make Dumbledore swear to keep it a secret.

I watched Snape sobbing a lifetime of unshed tears, kneeling in the snow in front of the grave of his late sister. He ignored the tombstone beside hers that bared her husband's name-his one true enemy if he ever had one. I watched Snape of the recent past pull out of tattered, muggle photograph of Lily and himself as children. He was weeping before it was removed from the drawer. The action familiar enough to cause the emotional reaction before he even had a chance to enjoy the image before his vision became too blurred to see anything.

The last memory I imposed myself upon was Snape arguing with Dumbledore on my behalf. "I know you have a habit of forgetting this fact in particular-but she is only a child, Albus!"

"She's been of age since Halloween, Severus." The headmaster gently corrected the irritated potions master.

"I have not see you interfere so heavily in a student's life since Harry Potter. Tell me, what suicide mission do you have planned for her?" Snape hissed.

"I do not appreciate the accusation that I would ever intentionally put someone's life in harm's way if it all can be avoided. I certainly have no intention of sending Miss Wendling on a doomed mission, but there is no denying that she will useful to our cause. There is also no denying that her very existence puts her in harm's way." Dumbledore said, remaining calm throughout his speech that had Snape literally biting his tongue to keep from shouting at his superior. Dumbledore continued on without giving him a chance to vocalize his disapproval.

"What do you know of the Ismerte, Severus?" Dumbledore asked with a long sigh, finally revealing how exhausted the headmaster had grown to be-so much so, it was less a state of being and more of a character trait at this point.

"Not much other than Voldemort always carried on about adding one to his collection." Snape replied, still tense but his anger was subsiding as curiosity took its place.

"Did he ever mention why that was?" Dumbledore prompted.

"He only mentioned it once. He said that his perfect opportunity to do just that was robbed due to the incompetencies of others. He vowed that if he ever managed to capture another, once he brought it to submission, he would rule not only the present, but the past, as well as any possible future." Snape answered, adding as an afterthought, speaking as if he was still trapped in his own memories (forgive the irony), "I always thought it was an odd thing to say and figured it was just another rant about one of his manic fascinations of gaining power in ancient and unusual ways."

"In a sense you were both correct. However, this fascination, at least, is grounded in merit." Dumbledore conceded. "The Ismerte are ancestorily limited to few specific bloodlines that can be traced back to the times of King Arthur and Merlin.

"It is speculated that after King Arthur fell at the battle of Camlann, devastated by the loss of his once and future king, Merlin cursed those responsible for his death. It is rumored that Merlin did so in an act of pure despair, unaware of the magic bursting from him, unable to handle the loss. It is said that his magic lashed out, cursing not only Mordred, but Merlin himself. In his preconceived act of jealousy, Mordred fulfilled his fate while Merlin fought to defy his own.

"Merlin's Curse is rumored to cause the tragic endings that all future descendants faced. From the moment of conception, they are set upon a life of eternal pain akin to the suffering Merlin himself was bound to feel as he remained bound to earth until his King's time to return once again." Dumbledore said to Snape as if reciting a bedtime story-a casualness that was neither unnoticed or appreciated.

"Does that lovely story have a point?" Snape finally said.

"The Ismerte, or the collective generations of descendants affected by Merlin's Curse have magical knowledge and ability beyond comprehension. Mortal rules such as life and death to not apply, often proving the very exception while still fully being of human race. The damage one could create under Voldemort's control is catastrophic, at very best. As far as gains on ancient and unique powers, harnessing the Ismerte's magic to do his bidding would tip the scales considerably in his favor." Dumbledore stressed the severity of the situation by the drop in his nonchalance. The gravity shown through his eyes, characteristic twinkle not once making a debut.

"Miss Wendling fits into this equation where exactly?" Snape questioned, making it clear he was only interested in the child's welfare-my welfare.

"Merlin was said to curse the blood of his enemy to be separated from his family as he had been. Merline forced them to a fate of finding powerful love connections that all ended in tragedy. When a druid descendant found love strong enough to withstand the trials set in place to keep them apart, the curse would be broken, and that descendant and their soulmate will be made immortal, restoring Albion for the return of the Once and Future King." Dumbledore said, casualty resuming.

"And you believe Andrella to be one of these "cursed souls?" Snape prompted.

"Yes."

"Not only that, but you believe she is the one destined to break Merlin's Curse in order to return peace to Albion?" Snape scoffed, saying the land of legend as if it was the seedy, shadowy alley in the murder capital of the world.

"Yes."

"Have you told anyone else of your theory?" Snape rose and inquisitive eyebrow.

"No. Just you. I wanted you to get to know more about her before I tell her."

"Why?" Snape asked, managing to turn one simple word into an accusation.

"So I can best determine what the consequences of doing so will be. We both know knowledge and power go hand-in-hand and both can lead to madness. Despite what you suggested earlier, I do not wish to curse Andrella into a life of madness." Dumbledore divulged his reasoning, delighted by Snape's instinctual protection over vulnerable students.

"What are you hoping to discover before you make your decision?" Snape asked.

"Go to the Restricted Section of the Library. In the very last aisle, furthest from the entrance, on the top shelf there is sometimes a rather curious book. It seems to appear at whim, but should it appear for you, I know you will find it a very interesting read." Dumbledore instructed.

"Why do you think it will appear for me?"

"Because Severus, despite how much you try to hide the fact, you cannot help yourself from caring about those who need it most. You have quite a knack for seeking out students who could benefit from your peculiar brand of love." Dumbledore said, his voice gentler and kinder than I had ever heard it.

"Is that all, Headmaster?" Snape's voice was harsh in resentment. It was clear by the noticeable color on his cheek, he hated being confronted about such emotionally-driven topics.

"Almost, Severus. If the book should appear to you, after you have read it, if you deem my theory possible and agree it is the right thing to share your conclusions with Miss Wendling, do not hesitate on my count. You already have my approval. In fact, I am ashamed to admit this, but I know I have not given her my proper attention. After one session with her, you already seem to understand her and are able to relate to her better than I ever could." Dumbledore sighed, a fire returning to his eyes as he spoke.

"I do not wish to be right about this theory, Severus-but if I am-despite your hesitance to accept it, I know you will always act with the greater good of the child at heart. Due to recent circumstance, I am not sure it is in my ability to do the same. There is no one more ideal to decide whether she is ready to accept her destiny in full or not."

"If the book presents itself, I shall see if it is as interesting a read as you claim it to be." Snape replied through pursed lips before storming out of the Headmaster's office and returning us instead to current time in his own office.

For another long moment, Snape and I sat sizing the other up. Although I was glad some secrets remained between us, it was difficult to not feel vulnerable under Snape's gaze. After all the dirty laundry aired on behalf of both parties, I was proud of the fact I was still capable of meeting him in the eyes.

"Now that we are all caught up." Snape said in his signature slow, drawling manner, pausing to accentuate his displeasure caused by allowing my indulgences. "I am sure you have many questions."

"I do." I nodded.

"I will do my best to answer all of them to the best of my ability but as promised before this little endeavor down memory lane, I insist that you answer a few of mine first. Do you accept these conditions?" Snape challenged.

"Sounds fair enough."

"Very well, then, Miss Wendling. After all you have seen tonight, are you still able to trust me?" He asked, voice guarded, face expressionless.

Although I had been trying to answer the same question for myself all night, I took another moment to think. Deciding once again to trust my instincts, I answered before doubt could convince me otherwise. "Yes."

"Can you forgive me for what I had done in my past? Can you forgive me for the horrors I have inflicted onto others?"

"Yes." I said, this time immediately. I did not have to contemplate why Snape played his cards the way he did given the rigged deck he was forced to play with. Experiencing his memories in the fashion I did, with unique control of his mind, I did not have to think about Snape's motivations-I felt it; I lived it myself; I understood.

"Thank you." Snape said. Even disguised through pursed lips, I could tell the effort to express genuine emotions outside of anger did not come easily to the Potions Master. The fact he was trying was enough for me. "There are now only four people who know past the surface of my story, and now one of three who can grant me forgiveness I do not deserve."

"Who is the fourth person?"

"Myself." Snape almost smiled, as if amused I decided to call him out on his idiosyncrasy. "I will also have you know by asking that question you have gained one of only two positions for Gryffindors I do not find completely predictable."

"Professor Dumbledore being the other?" I guessed.

"No. What ever gave you that impression?" Snape's serious face and genuine confusion at the question was too much for me to handle. "What's so funny?" Snape demanded, eyebrows knitting at the sound of my sudden laughter.

Once I caught my breath enough to speak, I said, "You're funny profesor, more than I gave you credit for. Blimey that was priceless!"

To my immense surprise, Snape did not berate me for my outburst. Instead, with a barely noticeable twitching at the corner of his lips, he cleared his throat and pressed on. "If you do not mind, Miss Wendling. I have just a few more questions."

"Right, of course, Professor." I apologized, quieting myself down immediately. I straighten up in my chair and made it clear that he now had my undivided attention.

"Is there anything at all that you would like to tell me? About what I saw tonight or in any of our past sessions? I am curious about many things, but I would like to invite you to tell me something I have not yet seen."

I considered his question and how it boiled down to how much I trusted him. I decided that after what I saw, I did trust him-a good deal more than I would have ever expected to before tonight-but that did not mean he needed to know everything. I considered what I could tell him that he did not already know that would not be too telling.

"I erased their memories without even knowing I could do it. I still don't know how I did it. I just know that I never wanted them to have the satisfaction of seeing me display that kind of weakness." I blurted out, regretting my unconscious mind's decision.

"Whose memories did you erase?" Snape asked, voice even as ever.

"Marcus Flint, Lucian Bole, Adrian Pucey, Montague, and Warrington-everyone who was in the room when they tried to-tried to-" I couldn't get the next words out, but thankfully Snape held up his hand to politely stop me.

"Why are you choosing to tell me this now?"

"I didn't actually mean to...I was thinking of something to tell you and it just...came out." I answered, avoiding his inquisitorial eyes the best that I could.

"And why do you believe that was what you said? Out of everything that you could have told me?" Snape continued to prompt.

Realizing that there was no way to get out of explaining myself now, I braved looking at Snape's face when I answered him. "I guess it's because you are the only person that has any real idea of what happened that night."

"You mean to have me believe that Fred and George Weasley are not privy to every detail of your life?" Snape snorted his disbelief.

"All those people I just named are still breathing, aren't they? Do you really think that would be the case if the twins knew all that actually happened?" I scoffed, my voice bitter as I swiped away the few tears that forced their way down my cheeks. "They went near ballistic at the mildest version of the story I could think of while I was in the resulting panic attack. The only reason they didn't go after them that night is because I made them swear not to tell anyone what happened. I just wish I could erase my own memory of what happened, but I can't knowingly make myself vulnerable."

"Why are you telling me this now?" Snape repeated his question.

"Because I regret erasing their memories." I answered, speaking to my hands.

"Why?"

I looked up at the question, taking a moment to soak in the expressionlessness of Snape's face. There was no judgmentment, only patience. He was not expecting a certain answer, only that I would give one-there was a strange comfort in realizing that. I considered my next words carefully, knowing there would be meaning derived in how I chose to answer this specific question. It was the the desire to cause the expression of emotion-any emotion-to cross Snape's face that made me chose unedited honesty.

"I regret not being able to make them pay. I know that it would have been impractical and completely insane, but in the moment I freed myself my first impulse was to make suffer. I thought about how easy it would be to transfigure them into worms and crush them beneath my feet. I thought about using the medieval hex I learned from Professor Moody's defense lessons to disembowel Flint on the spot and every time I see him I regret not taking the chance!" I found myself confessing, losing control of both what I said and how loudly I said it.

"Why didn't you?" Snape questioned, a dark sparkle in his eyes that I couldn't tell was pride from the fact that I didn't curse Flint or from the fact that I wanted to so badly.

"Because he's not worth it! None of them are! Violence in the name of vengeance only spurs war, it will never achieve peace!" I said, my passion coming to a burning halt as I hesitated on the truth of my next words. "But I understand why people become blinded in their pursuit of it. I'm sure it would have been satisfying in the moment. I still question if I would have felt better if I had given into one of my first impulses, but I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad I took the moment to think it through.

"I'm telling you all this now, specifically because of what I saw in your mind tonight. I know you understand the impulse to inflict your own pain onto others, especially the ones who seek pleasure in causing you more." I said, taking a breath to calm myself down before I continued.

"More importantly, I know now that you've been on both sides of the wand...I figured out of all the people I know, you are the only one that would possibly be able to understand how hard it is silence your own pain, so that no one else could feel it."

"Very precise insight, but I would expect no less from you." Snape declared, an fondness in his tone that was strange coming from the characteristically cold man. "As head of Slytherin house, I thank you for not murdering one of my students. Also as Head of Slytherin House I will remind you that I will be the first to petition for the expulsion of all those responsible if you have happened to reconsider my previous offer?"

"I haven't changed my mind." I replied, sure of that if nothing else.

"Very well, then. Have you anything else you would wish to tell me?" Snape asked with a solemn nod of his head, letting me know the subject would be dropped unless I wished it otherwise.

"My mother knew that she wouldn't be around to raise me herself." I confessed the second thing to pop into my thoughts.

"Why do you believe this?"

"When I was shopping in Hogsmeade the weekend before last, I found her dress in the shop. The shopkeeper told me a pregnant french woman paid her to store the dress until someone removed it from the rack."

"But how can you be certain it was your mother?"

"I had a vision of her there-Emalena." I explained, confiding the details of the encounter for the first time-at least with conversation partners that existed outside of my own mind.

"Have you have any other visions of your mother?" Snape asked.

"Not of my mother, no."

"Or the other two women in your memory? Romona or Neviah?" Snape said their names if only to prove the point he had not forgotten about them.

"No...but…"

"But what?"

"How did you know my mother?" I asked, unable to keep the accusation out of my voice as I finally got the nerve to ask the one question I had been dying to ask all night.

"How do you know that I knew her?" Snape asked instead of answering.

"I was studying your face when you first saw her, just in case you knew her. And by your reaction, I know that you did, the only question is how."

"I didn't know her well." Snape admitted defeat with a heavy sigh. "She was in her last year when I was in my first. The only thing I knew about her in school is that she was close with Narcissa Black and the only thing I knew about her once she left, is that friendship ended when Narcissa married Luscious and became a Malfoy."

"What else do you know about my mother?"

"Nothing else I can yet confirm as fact or fiction." Snape replied.

"Will you tell me when you make the distinction?" I challenged.

"Yes."

"Fine then. What do you want to know about Ramona and Neviah?"

"Anything you wish to tell me."

"I can hear them sometimes...like their speaking in my mind, reacting to what's going on around me." I confessed.

"Can you hear them now?"

"No. They've been suspiciously quiet."

"Then what have the visions been about?"

"A graveyard and a green flash."

"With no other context that that?"

"Nope. Just that." I said with a shrug, adding, "But I've had it several times now."

"I cannot say it is an overwhelmingly positive omen, but I will say that the future is both fickle and not to be discounted. Perhaps consider keeping record of when the visions occur to determine if there is a pattern. The potion might assist in speeding up the process of you reaching a conclusion, but you might not like the answer you receive." Snape said. "However, we both know your talent for the art of the unknown is far beyond anything or anyone living currently understands, but that should not deter you from trying to understand more on your own."

"That's good advice, Profesor. Thank you." I said, hoping my disbelief at his genuine display of human connection in the form of caring for others was not obvious.

"Do not thank me yet, Miss Wendling. Knowledge is impartial to the learner, useless to the master, and power to the impartial." Snape said his cryptical riddle, then in a warning tone, "We have both seen too much to be blind to the possibility the path you seek may not lead you to a place you would like to be.

"With that, I'd like to offer you an apprenticeship. We both know you are far from remedial levels when it comes to potions, occlumency, or anything else you pursue at this point. Your abilities have only multiplied since the incident. I wish to continue these sessions beyond the time frame it takes for you to master occlumency. By the rate you've been improving, I'd wager you will surpass me in skill just a few weeks into the new year.

"Once you have, I would like to share any knowledge I have that you may find to be useful. I predict you will soon become bored with the content of the classroom. We will focus on what you would like to learn-within reason, that is." Snape amended quickly, remembering who he was speaking with.

"Why? Why would you go out of your way to help me? Why would you even want to?" It was my turn to ask, unable to stop myself now that I started speaking. "I'm grateful but I do not understand why the sudden change in heart."

"Do not be mistaken, Miss Wendling. Many of your behaviors are far from endearing and many of your choices are questionable at best, but you have an old soul-poor choice of words, perhaps, given the circumstances-but true nonetheless. This does not negate the fact that the events of tonight have revealed secrets for both parties. If I am to be frank, It is tiring to always live with a mask-on. It's comforting to be seen. Besides, you remind me of someone I used to know." Snape concluded, tone only rising above monotone, drawing into friendlier territory on the last sentence.

"Thank you, Professor. I know you won't regret taking me on."

"I never suspected I would. You are more mature than I initially gave you credit for." Snape admittedly somewhere between proud and begrudging. "Now if there's nothing else you wanted to tell me, you may ask your questions."

I wouldn't have been able to pass up the opportunity to ask as many of the hundreds of questions currently buzzing in my head, even if I did have anything else to add. The toughest to answer being the only one directed at myself: What-after learning all that I had-do I ask first?

I settled on one that seemed innocent enough, yet just as telling as any of the less pleasant affairs. "Did you find the book Dumbledore told you about?"

"Yes." Snape answered, voice clipped.

"Were you going to tell me or did you not agree with his theory?"

"I agreed with his theory after reading the contents of the book." Snape replied.

"But you weren't going to tell me? Why not? Wasn't it an interesting read?" I questioned, trying not to get too upset before I even let him answer.

"I did not want to tell you, because once you read what is written on those pages, you will be cursed with the knowledge. I wanted you to at least be able to enjoy the holidays without handing over the weight of what waits for you inside that book."

"Will you tell me about it now?"

"No, but only because the book must be found by the very specific rules of its appearance ritual or else it will be wiped clean. If you wish to learn what is inside, you will have to pull it from the shelf with your own two hands." Snape clarified.

"But you do agree with Dumbledore, then? You really think that I am some curse-breaker chosen by Merlin himself?" I posed, not trying to hide how ridiculous I found the suggestion to be. Given the fierceness in Snape's voice as he replied, we did not share the sentiment.

"I believe that it is a possibility, yes. From what I have learned about the curse, there are many trials. If I am not mistaken, I believe you are already amidst the first. Regardless, it is too early for anyone to be certain either way." Snape said, volume finally lowering back to its normal slow-paced hiss, "But yes, I think it's more than possible."

"You honestly believe George and I are the prophesized "soulmates" meant to restore balance and ensure Albion's imminent return?" I repeated with incredulity.

"I believe it is possible, yes. Dumbledore has full confidence." Snape repeated through pursed lips.

"But you don't?"

"Love is not a subject for which I believe miracles still exist. It is the process of the trials I am concerned about." Snape said, instead of outright denying or confirming either way.

"In light of recent events, I predict death." I said in a dry deadpan. I thought he'd be proud of my delivery but the line of his frown only deepened.

"That is not funny, Andrella." He chastised.

"What happened to 'Miss Wendling', Professor Snape Sir?" I teased, recalling an encounter earlier in the year when I would have sworn I hated the man.

"After all that has been revealed between the two of us tonight, me using your first name should hardly be seen as an intrusion of formality." Snape sassed back.

"So, I can call you Severus, then?" I groaned, pushing this as far as I could.

"As long as I am your professor, no you may not." Snape shot back, killing that dream as quick as he could. Then added, omitting the unintended ferocity when he spoke this time, "But I suppose we could do without the 'sir' from now on."

"If you insist.-"

"I do." Snape said, tone firm.

"Fine." I bit back, cranky not to get my way on the matter. "Is there anything else or can we pick back up on Tuesday? I'm exhausted." I finished with a yawn, as if saying the words made my body admit their truth.

"Just one last thing, Andrella. Professor Dumbledore agreed to give you a personal key to the restricted section of the library so you can access the book when you're ready." Snape said, handing over a rusted key that looked every one of its years.

"Wicked!" I exclaimed, happily taking the key from Snape and tucking it into my bag.

"This is a privilege for you. It is not to be shared with other students. Do you understand, Andrella?" Snape warned.

"Yes Professor Snape, but I was wondering something else?" I started to voice my thoughts through thinking better of it, guided by intuition I could not reason against. Snape inclined his head in invitation to continue. "Would it be possible not to tell Professor Dumbledore what we've discussed tonight?"

"Surely it is possible but I must ask why." Snape said without missing a beat. If he was surprised by the question, it did not show.

"It's not that I don't trust Professor Dumbledore because I do, but I am...concerned by how he might process all of what could be perceived from what we've been made aware of tonight." I said, choosing my words very carefully. Now that I had more than one worded conversations with the man, it felt I was playing some sort of eternal game of chess. Only our pieces were wits and words, and neither of us ever actually lost anything except secrets revealed, insights gained. The game was seeing just how much could be learned when the right strategy was applied. It was as invigorating as it was completely exhausting.

"May I ask what's causing this concern?"

It was this exhaustion that had me give a succinct answer, forfeiting knowledge gained by choosing a less direct route. "The conversation about Merlin's curse and the role of Mordred's cursed descendants I witnessed you having with him in his office."

"What was it about that conversation specifically?" He continued to prod for specifics.

"Many things." I answered quickly, then continued more slowly as I decided the quickest way to make him understand. "The most important being how it made me feel to watch it. I had Romona's previous words ringing in my head and I have decided even if I do not fully understand them...I need to trust my own instincts."

"And what are your instincts telling you that make you uneasy?"

"You have put your faith behind his man, risking your own life in the process to save the people that matter most, but still you doubt his ability to value the well-being of individuals when it comes to the greater good." I said, making sure to keep Snape's eyes on mine as I spoke the next words. "When I went inside your mind tonight, I did not use legilimency. I'm not sure what it was really, but it felt like I was reading your soul. I did not see your life as if they were flashes on a screen-I experienced them; I lived them for myself. I understand you now; I understand the way you think and react.

"The fact that you are doubting a man you have been following blindly for half of your life-it gives me reason to doubt him myself. I'm not saying you haven't made your mistakes, but you have grown from them, you have learned from them and you have become a better person because of that. I don't believe I can trust you because Romona or Neviah say that I should, my instincts tell me that I can trust you and so I do.

"I have not seen inside Dumbledore's mind. I do not know his mistakes and I do not know what he has learned from him. I have seen yours and that gives me reason to believe I can trust you. With all that you now know about my unique position...do you understand why I must now question everything I have once known? Everyone I have once trusted if my instincts tells me otherwise?" I finished my explanation with an honest question.

"What is one more secret to keep?" Snape said, allowing the first genuine smile I've ever seen (not in a memory) without his trying to fight it away. "Now, I think that's been quite enough excitement until Tuesday. Do you agree?"

"Yes, Professor. Thank you."

"Go and rest. I will explain to Dumbledore that you are to be excused from your lessons with him tonight. I will have him owl the rescheduled time. Now go on, Good Night, Andrella. I shall see you Tuesday." Professor Snape said in a voice so gentle I wouldn't have believed it before tonight. But after seeing him defend me to Dumbledore long before our lessons even began, I knew I could trust him. I was as sure as that as I was not unsure of Dumbledore.

"You know, it might have taken me six years to see it, but I'm glad I was wrong about you, Severus Snape." I said smugly as I got up from the chair I had grown accustomed to sitting in for our lessons.

"I told you I would prefer if you did not use my first name, Andrella."

"And I think it's only fair." I laughed, turning back to smile at him calling over my shoulder as I began to make my exist, "Won't happen again, Professor Severus Snape Sir."

"Leave before I assign you a six meter parchment on the uses of gloat spleens in potion making!" Snape threatened, though his twitching lip syndrome had returned.

"See you bright and early Tuesday morning, Severus Sir!" I chuckled, hearing him curse my name as the door to his office slammed shut behind me.

I didn't dwell on why me calling Professor Snape by his first name or 'Sir' bothered him, but it was undeniably amusing to tease him in a friendly way. If nothing else, if you told me it would have been occuring by the end of the year when the term started, I would have been laughing for the opposite reason. The simple fact of the matter is that the truths revealed tonight were overwhelming. When I feel overwhelmed I try to make myself and anyone else around me laugh-a nervous habit George and I shared. Joking with Snape was just bizarre enough to lift my spirits as I trekked on through the dungeon. In fact, the strange turn of events had me in such a good mood I didn't even fret when I saw Marcus Flint round the corner.

"Looking for some fun, mudblood?" He taunted, a predatory spring in his step as he moved toward me.

"I warned you about the consequences of speaking to me the last time we spoke. You're lucky I'm in a good mood right now, Flint." I replied, retracting my wand and performing the necessary spell to turn him into a mountain goat. "Much better! Now shoo! Go be someone else's problem for a while!"

Marcus the goat bleated in response, looking absolutely terrified as his shaking hoofs made clicking noises on the tiled floor. Even terrified, he looked better as a goat than a human. Considering who we're talking about, that's not actually saying that much, but still.

"Run along now! Shoo!" I shouted, stomping my foot to scare him off down the hall. With an amused chuckled I made my way back to Gryffindor tower, excited to tell George and Fred of what would hopefully become Slytherin's new house pet. Honestly, all things considered, I think that would be the best option for everyone, Marcus included.

I put the thought of offering mercy out of my mind for a moment, learning from last time that I needed to have an abridged version of tonight's events ready to tell them. I had no intentions of betraying Snape's newly gained trust or respect by divulging secrets he never intended to share. Furthermore, I wasn't going to go into this whole Merlin business any further tonight. Not the curse or Dumbledore's theorized key to break it. I certainly wasn't going to tell them about it when I had no idea how true it was.

I need to get my hands on that book.

But first I needed to get ready to answer the tag-team, rapid-fire inquisition the twins now subjected me to after my lessons. They claimed it was the only way to get to the bottom of things I didn't want them to worry about. They never once stopped to consider there was a deeper reason to why I didn't want them to be concerned with certain things when there was such a wide array of issues that actually mattered. Regardless, I'm determined to show them they've met their match in me.

Game on, boys, game on.

XXX

OKAY! WELL, YOU JUST READ 29 FULLY TYPED PAGES...SO WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THEM? DID ANYTHING AT ALL CONFUSE YOU? WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS CURSE BUSINESS? WHAT ABOUT OUR NEWLY, FORMALLY INTRODUCED CHARACTERS, ROMONA AND NEVIAH? WHAT ABOUT SNAPE'S REVISED PAST?

I TOLD Y'ALL THINGS STARTED TO GET WEIRD, BUT I ACTUALLY REALLY LOVE WHERE THIS CHAPTER LEAD ME AND WHERE THIS STORY IS GOING ON A WHOLE. AS ALWAYS, I'D LOVE TO HEAR ANY FEEDBACK, NO MATTER HOW DETAILED, SMALL, CRITICAL, ETC. I DON'T HAVE TO TELL Y'ALL IT KEEPS ME GOING AT THIS POINT, BUT I WILL ALWAYS TAKE THE TIME TO SAY I APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU FOR READING!

UNTIL NEXT TIME

EX'S AND OH'S

AUDREY V. SULLIVAN