DISCLAIMER: ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO JK ROWLING. No copyright infringement intended. I make no money from this, just unhinged joy. Trigger warnings apply. Unedited work in progress. Read at your own risk.
NOTE! THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN EDITED. 3K added and reviewed for mistakes.
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Darkness—familiar and comforting.
For how much time I could not tell you but for quite a while the darkness was all I knew. It was the only concept I could grasp. The only net of safety and I clung to it.
The light began to filter in when the voices began to raise. Stirring the dust particles of my mind, becoming distinct and unignorable. Understanding began to seep in as the scent of cherry blossom blooms registered.
"—Sweet Salazar, Romona! You can't just zap her awake! That's barbaric." Neviah's tone of chastisement was something I was very familiar with but usually only directed at myself. Though exasperated, Neviah still showed her older sister respect. Usually at least.
"No! What's barbaric is what they're planning on doing to her if she doesn't wake up and stop them." Romona snapped back matter-of-fact. Then, tone dropping a few degrees, added, "So is the use of his name around me."
"It's the only way I can count on you to listen to me!" Neviah huffed, "besides it's worked. Look for yourself— she's coming to now ."
When I finally opened my eyes, I saw Neviah pointing at me with a smugness to her blank expression. Romona looked as displeased as always. Nonetheless I was grateful to see them. To really see them and not just imagine their faces as they spoke to me inside my head.
They were standing in front of me clear as day. Clear as the water lapping across the crystal shore. The water swirled with magic so fluid and beautiful it was hard to watch. The shore was so sharp, so smooth it could only be made of glittering glass. I wondered how it did not cut my exposed skin before reason returned to me, logic as well as the dazzling beauty of my surroundings continued to charm my mind into half speed. Even still, I was beginning to understand.
"Oh well. No regrets." I said to myself with a sad sigh as realization began to sink in. Then, just as suddenly the image of a naked Sirius Black sprung to mind. With a self-satisfied chuckle, I amended my statement, "No regrets at all."
"What are you on about now?" Romona tsked, and when I didn't reply she turned to her sister, "What is she on about?"
"She thinks she's dead." Neviah stage whispered before speaking to me slowly. "Andrella, dear, can you hear me? You aren't dead."
The smile began to leave my face. "I'm not?"
"No. Close to it, but no. Now is not your time to join us."
"Then why am I here? With you?
"You are here because you are about to start the third trial. We are here to make sure you do. There are others conspiring against you as we speak." Romona explained sharply, urgency returning now that she had my attention. "Dumbledore and Mad-eye want to strip you of your magic while you lay unconscious in the hospital wing."
"What? Can they—can they do that?"
"Oh yes they can and they will if you don't get yourself out of Hogwarts immediately."
"But I'm—we're not…we're here?" I finished lamely. My head was still spinning from the many transformations. Although physically I felt no pain, mentally I was exhausted.
"Your mind and your soul are here with us now, in the land beyond the living, but your heart and body are in the hospital wing of Hogwarts." Romona explained impatiently.
She then held one hand up to silence me from rebutting and the other to her forehead. She stayed that way for a minute before her face fell and she whispered, more to herself than us in her captive audience, "Oh no..no, that can't happen ."
"What can't happen?" I snapped back as urgently. Not liking the silent conversation Neviah and Romona seemed to be having with their eyes.
"Right." Neviah shook her head and turned to me with a practiced smile. "We have to be going now. Can you run?"
"Run? What? What's happening?" I demanded, stubbornly planted my heels in the earth…or clouds…or glittering glass…or whatever the hell we were standing on.
"We don't have time for this." Romona clicked impatiently before she scooped me up and threw me over her shoulder without warning. She ignored my protests and began sprinting through the wispy, ethereal fog at blurring speeds.
I don't know why, but I was sad to leave the shore. I watched it disappearing on the horizon line before it blinked out of existence. Then I closed my eyes and clung on tighter to Romona. Desperately searching for warmth, for strength, now that my oasis of peace was a memory.
I probably would have gotten motion sickness if I tried to focus on my mysterious, beckoning surroundings. Thankfully and rather unfortunately, the words Romona spoke while hurtling us through space and time were horrifying enough to keep me enraptured with her voice alone. The way her voice quivered in equal parts deep contempt and fierce protection warmed my opinion of her.
"When you came to us. You were nearing death. Do not blame Sirius—Thank him. He got you to Severus. They had to bring you to the hospital wing. You lost too much blood, even for us to be able to help you on our own. We brought you to the shores of Avalon.
"If an Ismerte drinks and is revived immediately, she can be permitted to return to the land of the living and continue her quest to complete the trials. If she doesn't wake up within seven minutes…well, then, her mortal pain has come to an end. But that is no matter to you, Child, for you woke instantly. As soon as the first drop touched your lips.
"If she does wake up, when she does, like you did, the mortal injuries she suffered will heal immediately. She will physically be returned to new. She then has fourteen minutes to return her mind and soul to her body, now returned with more power and access to knowledge than any other sort of witch or wizard could hope to know.
"Poppy is suggesting you be moved to St. Mungo's to be cared for by a team of experts because of your miraculous recovery. Dumbledore and Moody agree. They also agree that your magic should be stripped or at least bound before the transfer. Dumbledore seems to be aware of the time limit to accomplish his agenda. This cannot be allowed." Romona drew her monologue to a sharp close with her solemn vow.
The unwavering determination, the fierce display of protection and love for me was what got me. Although not completely shocking, it was still unexpected and touching. A needed reminder that there was someone still left on my side. There was so much betrayal today, so much pain…
"And I'm afraid it's not over yet, Maledetto," Romona used her odd term of endearment for me, her grip becoming tighter as she clutched me to her chest. "When you return to your body you must be prepared to fight."
"Fight Dumbledore AND Madeye? At the same time?" I scoffed. Even if I wasn't so drained from today's events it was a long shot at best.
"No, it's not. You have more power in your pinky than they both do in their entire bloodlines. And now, once returned, you will have access to it." Romana assured, a wicked smile gracing her elegant features. "And as of today you will no longer be their student, their charge, their pupil, or their concern. It's time to show them all you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself and anyone who disagrees can be a testament to your ability."
"Do not worry, child. Now that you have drunk from the waters of Avalon, you will be much more directly connected to our power, to Merlin's." Neviah explained, picking up her speed so she could face me as she spoke. "When you wake up, we will take care of everything. We will make sure you get out of there safely. You just have to remain open to us."
"Yes, do not shut us out again." Romona added. But the attempt to make it sound like an order was seen for what it was—a plea.
"I won't. I promise." I answered, hiding my blushing cheeks in my hands.
"Good. We are almost there." Romona said simply before jerking to a halting stop.
"Someone is approaching us." Neviah explained before we all went deadly silent—listening to the swishes of the swirling and ever-changing atmosphere. After an ever long moment, Romona and Neviah both relaxed.
"It's Emmaleena." Romona answered my unasked questions. Then, tone firming, warned "Once she joins us we must run again. We cannot afford any time to waste. You must be returned to your body before they can take away your magic. Do you understand?"
"Yes, I understand." I nodded solemnly. Excited to see my mother, but trying to be strong like Romona so that my emotions would not distract me.
I wasn't lying before. I did not have any regrets as it stood, but I did not want to die. Not really. And I certainly didn't want to live without magic for the rest of my life. Not now that I knew what it felt to have it be such a huge part of me, to understand it always was.
"Good. She's here, child." Romona said approvingly. She shifted her hold so I would be able to look at my mother more clearly as she started to run again.
The first thing I noticed about my mother was sadness in her still radiant smile. One perfectly manicured, slender, ghostly hand reached out to cup my chin as she ran to keep up pace with the sisters. When my hand reached out to grip hers, I did not expect to feel my mothers hand. But it was as if my touch brought her to life, bringing a vibrancy to her skin that was was not there seconds before. There was warmth where she touched me and in her voice as she finally cracked her smile to say, "My child, you are so strong. So brave."
"Mum? I'm so glad you're here, too." I said honestly, forgetting the question that fell away. It didn't seem important anymore. We had such little time.
"Yes, for now our time is limited. But your question is not unimportant. It is the key. Ask it." My mom smiled her knowing smile.
"Where is your journal? Why can't I find it? I've been looking for so long now, mum. I went—I went there today. That's—that's how—"
But I couldn't speak, couldn't let myself recount the full horror. My mom shh'd me, sweeping my long hair so like her own behind my ears. "I know, Andrella. It's okay. You don't have to say it. I know. You will be okay."
Emmaleena finally took a steady breath and pulled away enough to face me. "The reason you have not been able to find it, child, is because you had to complete the second task. And so it has been done. And so you have been returned. And now the diary will never leave your possession again."
As she spoke the words I felt the weight of something pressing itself between myself and Romona. I ran my fingers over its hard bound leather spine, afraid to look at it. But I gripped it tight, clutching it to my chest so it could not slip away.
"It will never leave you now. My story is part of you, Andrella. Now you are finally ready to know it." Emmaleena said with equal parts pride and sorrow.
She released her grip on my chin, hand coming to rest over mine on her journal. There was a passing of warmth, of magic and the diary dissolved into my chest, as if being absorbed by my heart. I was not scared. I finally understood the truth in her words.
With another understanding smile, my mother promised, "It will return to you when it is safe for you to read my words and know our truth. I will return to you then as well. But for now you must leave us, my daughter. You must live, Andrella. You must allow yourself to live and love anew. You will understand soon. For now—fight! And allow us to fight for you! We love you and we will never let you be alone and suffer like that again if you remain open to us."
"I love you too, mum. Thank you." I added, feeling the end of our time as Romona began to shift me. "Thank you all. I will fight. I am ready."
I felt myself falling backwards as Romona threw me from her grip but I did not look back. I watched my mother standing with the sisters, clutching each other as they sobbed until I couldn't any longer. I'm still not quite sure who vanished—me or them.
The darkness was back—familiar but no longer comforting.
This time I did not cling to it, but actively fought against its false promise of peace. There was no release in slipping away to the shadows. Not today. Not yet.
And so I fought.
I pushed and I fought my way through the shadows of my mind. I followed the distant sound until it became distinguishable as voices speaking. I kept fighting until I could tell who was speaking, the words said.
"—know how you have come to care for her as your own child, Severus. I do not understand it, but I can see it plainly. However—" The voice of Dumbledore was the first to cut through the darkness, leaving an unfavorably foreign bitterness in my mouth. "That does not change the fact that she is dangerous and needs to be handled accordingly. We have the death of a student to account for and at her hands. She is an innocent child no longer, Severus."
"She is a broken girl who needs help! Our help! My help!" Snape's voice broke through with rage, cracking with emotions before stealing once more as it rose to an uncharacteristic shout. "For Merlin's sake—Albus! She has died! Again! She needs to recover undisturbed!"
"I am aware, Severus." Dumbledore shot back, his own voice hardened. "That is exactly why she is as dangerous as she is. If we allow her to awake with the newfound power she will now have access to? She will be uncontrollable, unmanageable. It cannot be allowed"
Snape repeated the words "uncontrollable" and "unmanageable" viciously, not allowing himself to comprehend the meaning and the implications of the words. Not from the man he called mentor, friend even. So he thought. I didn't question how I knew Snape's thoughts, his feelings without actively probing his mind. I didn't question it, but I was grateful for it.
It was McGonagall who spoke next, voice sharper than I ever heard it. "Surely you're not suggesting what I think you are, Albus?" She's just a girl."
"Minerva, I take no pride or pleasure in doing this. But it must be done for the greater good." Dumbledore tried to reason with his colleague.
"Enough! She is waking, Albus, either we do this now or we all pay the price." Moody growled, ever observant.
"No one will touch her." Snape seethed, his command venomous. Even with my eyes closed I could see the grimness of his humorless smirk, the unwavering challenge in his black eyes as he held his wand out steady before the enemy. I felt fondness for my professor swell with a
matching urgency to regain consciousness.
"Severus, please. I know this isn't easy but you must stand down. I don't want to hurt you." Dumbledore pleaded.
"No harm will be done to me or to Andrella. I don't want to hurt you either, Albus, but I will do what I must to protect us from you." Snape spoke with disdain but determination. There was no threat, only promise.
"Enough of this!" Moody snapped impatiently. "Step aside, Snape! We can't let the girl have that kind of power."
Too late, Romona's demented giggle sounded in my head as my body began to twitch in awakening. Her magic was coursing through my muscles, getting me ready to strike. It was electrifying, like my blood turned to static vibrating in my veins. Let's give them something to fear, eh?
Don't over do it though. You're not trying to threaten them, just send a warning you're prepared to defend yourself. Neviah advised,always the voice of reason.
Before I could consciously think or act, the sisters were claiming control of my body, lending me their knowledge and power. They blocked the silent spell sent by Dumbledore before I could even breath or open my eyes. When they did open, it was to the startled face of my attacker, my once idol, mentor, headmaster. The shock of his failure was as bittersweet as my victory over him.
With a flick of my wrist, a magical border erected, blasting everyone that wasn't explicitly and unconditionally an ally of mine to the corners of the room. I was surprised to see Severus Snape was not alone on my side of the barrier. Professor McGonagall and Padfoot joined her. Dumbledore, Moody, and Madam Pomfrey were kept at bay with my magic—unharmed but unable to move or access any of their own magic until I released them.
A snap of my fingers and the ears Madame Pomfrey was filled with the crooning swell of Celestina Warbeck, while the four belonging to Dumbledore and Moody were full of the latest Weird Sisters song. Translated into Mermish. Playing at the loudest volume the spell would allow. I smiled at my allies, shaking away their worry and concern.
I laughed when Padfoot barked at my heels. I kneeled down to pat his head. I gripped both sides of his face, looking into his more than canine eyes and thanked him for saving me. I laughed again when he licked my face. Even though it covered me in dog drool, it lightened the mood for just the moment I needed to regain my composure.
"Professors…" I said, starting off strong and then getting caught up with emotion as I looked into Snape's face. Oh, how much has changed.
When I spoke again, I tried to keep it together by addressing McGonagall. "Looks like my graduation day is coming a bit earlier than expected. Thank you for all you have done for me. I will not forget it or what you have taught me. May we meet again." I finished with a jerky nod and tight smile.
"Miss Wendling, what on earth are you talking about?" McGonagall sighed with equal parts exasperation and amazement. She was eyeing me warily, gaze flickering between me and her magically restrained colleagues.
"She's trying to tell us she's leaving Hogwarts, Minerva." Snape sneered, his monotone cutting as ever.
Still afraid to look at him, I nodded again. "Yes. I must. It's too dangerous for me to stay here. I need to go. It's better for everyone that way."
"Miss Wendling! Don't be rash! You must stay here and get well! Continue your education!" McGonagall's bewilderment was endearing as she tried to reason with me to stay. It was touching in a way I didn't know I missed. "We'll figure out a way for everyone to be safe. I'm sure this is all just a misunderstanding. Surely you did not intend to harm Mr. Napier. It was all just a misunderstanding, just like this."
"Please, stop, professor." I interrupted with a sad shake of my head, offering my head of house a resigned smile. "And please call me Andrella. No more need for such formalities amongst friends, I think? Not now that I'm leaving school?"
"No, you most certainly are not, Andrella." Snape said my name mutinously. I was forced to look at him and his expression matched his ferocious tone. "You will not give up on yourself that easily."
"You are mistaken, Professor Severus Sir." I mimicked his drawing tone with my own signature cheek, "I'm not giving up. In fact, I've just decided to begin fighting for myself. But I know now when to accept a battle lost in the name of winning the war."
Wrap it up. Romona warned, the strain of keeping so much power at bay evident in her voice.
"Right, of course."I mumbled to myself, shooting a cold glare at my former headmaster before turning to look each other my allies in the eye before addressing them. "I must go now. May we meet again." I said fondly to McGonagall and Padfoot before turning to Snape.
"Snape—" I began but the potions master coughed, interrupting me with a displeased grimace.
"Severus." He corrected me, giving me a jerky nod to continue.
"Right. Severus." I started again but needed to take a few deep breaths before I could say what I knew I must. Fearful of the information falling on the wrong ears, I spoke in code. "I left you the key to safety. You will find it with your collections of treasures. A letter will appear there when I am safe myself. Take care of yourself and be nice to the weasels and mutts."
I laughed at Padfoot's indignant bark before I was gripped with panic.
Go! Now! Romona roared her order. I didn't need to be told twice. I felt the tight band of magic holding back my enemies snapping. I used its force to propel myself out of Hogwarts' protective wardings and charms. I used it to take me back to the only last safe home I've known.
XXX
I knew I shouldn't have come here.
It was dangerous, reckless, and naive. Everything Dumbledore branded a deadly enough combination to warrant preemptively taking my life before I could take another. Or my magic, same difference.
He's right. I'm all those things and more.
I'm angry, I'm resentful, but most of all I'm tired and overwhelmed. But I'm not stupid or out of control. Not like he was suggesting.
My leaving when I did? The ultimate show of my control.
Me standing outside of the Wendling residence right now? The ultimate test of it.
I could see them both from where I stood at the mouth of the driveway. I always used to nag them about shutting the blinds. My mother always said she enjoyed watching the sunset, even if that meant the Robins across the street knew she had a nasty habit of burning the pies. They were eating some of them now and by the look of the golden pastry, mom was having an on day. My tastebuds imagined the possible fillings, momentarily taking control of my feet.
I stepped onto the cracked pavement of the drive and the moment I did I heard a loud CRACK!
I glanced over my shoulder and my heart fell into my stomach and then seized. My brain processing ground to a halt. My body tensed as I froze in fear, instantly recognizing the ringleader of the six man goon squad.
I felt Romona take control of my mind, then my body with a heavy stream of swears. I felt moved with her forceful guidance so my palm was facing the window where my parents were surely digging into their dinner. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the approaching danger but I felt my hand grow almost uncomfortably hot before it grew numbing cold and just like that it was done. Two seconds, two breaths, two heartbeats that lasted a lifetime.
Romana demanded I close my eyes and get ready; I did as she said. There was no will or want to fight, but there was no comfort in releasing control.
I heard him bark orders to the rest, "Keep looking; she hasn't entered the property yet. She might be invisible but I can smell her. She's close."
There was no time to react. Eyes still closed, squeezed tighter than ever, I didn't need to see to know the scenery changed. I could feel it, I could smell it, I could hear and even taste it. I was colder, I could smell and taste salt, and my ears were suddenly in pain and I could hear a faint…sloshing?
You just need some time to adjust. Here this should help. Neviah offered rather unhelpfully.
Adjust to what? Where are we? I demanded, now afraid to open my eyes even though I knew it was safe to do so now.
Somewhere safe. Neviah said vaguely and then my ears popped.
"Bloody hell! What the fuck was that for?" I swore, eyes snapping open at the sudden and intense pain. It was already a memory as my eyes finally adjusted to the light and I could see water. All around me.
I began to panic until I saw the glass. It was so thin and transparent I was sure it would crack from the pressure of the ocean despite it's obvious enchantments. I did a 360 turn, taking in the cozy room in the middle of the enchanted dome submerged Merlin knows how deep under the sea. It was beautiful and inviting. With waning curiosity, I noticed a wraparound staircase on the far wall leading downward, but I was too tired to explore. I felt safe enough here to not need to check where it led. Whoever built this space did their best to achieve an underwater hideaway paradise.
I really did create something beautiful, didn't I? Romona took the chance to gloat. Go ahead and explore. It's been too long since you've been blown away by my magical genius. You'll be safe here.
But I couldn't. I didn't have it in me. All I had eyes for was the bed. All I had energy for was sleep.
Go on, little one. Rest. Neviah encouraged me as I began walking toward my destination. Tomorrow you can take this place in and deal with the rest.
Don't worry little one, we'll make sure you're safe. Romona promised and then her voice took on an ominous playfulness as she wished, "Sweet dreams, Andrella."
I couldn't concern myself with anything but slipping out of my boots and soiled pants. I would burn them tomorrow but I couldn't deal with it now. I had reached the bed and it was true comfort. I had an aversion to the animal pelts but they were so warm, so soft. I was thankful for the small grace their faces were not still attached. After the night I had, I couldn't deal with the weight of dead eyes watching me.
XXX
Walking blindly into the eye of the storm again, Andrella? Neviah commented, clearly disappointed in my actions.
Before I got a chance to defend myself, Romona added, Honestly, when is she not? Don't even bother explaining this is the worst idea she's ever had. You know she won't listen to us.
I ignored them both as I pushed further into the forest. If they were going to talk about me like I wasn't there, I was going to pretend they weren't with me. I let the sound of the voice be the guide.
Really, I knew that it was stupid, plain foolish to do what I was doing now. This is exactly how I ended up within an inch of my life last time. Actually scratch that. Last time I did this was the first time I quite literally died. But THIS time I knew it was different. I knew that voice, I just couldn't distinguish it clearly over the howling rain and wind. But I knew that when I made it to the clearing I would find shelter in my Fortress, inside I would find answers.
At my approach to the entrance the stone threw itself open at the hinges. It was not only as if it knew I was there, it was welcoming me inside, welcoming me home.
I didn't hesitate to rush inside, instantly finding my night clothes dry and warm as I began my descent down the sloping tunnel slide. As I drew closer to the bottom, I grew inexplicably hotter…more excited, aroused even. I couldn't explain it but it was pleasant, albeit confusing and intense.
I decided to go with it. I closed my eyes and allowed the lazy grin to work itself on my face as the heat spread through my body with my open invitation. I landed on the lush pillows with a soft thud and decided to stay there for a minute, eyes closed as I enjoyed the moment.
"You're even more beautiful than I remembered." A contented sigh broke the silence, but I didn't open my eyes until the familiar yet still identifiable voice said, "I missed you so much, Andrella,"
When I opened my eyes it was to be blinded by white light and the vague outline of a man cast in a dark shadow. I closed my eyes in shock more than pain, hearing the man's voice again, silky, smooth as he coaxed, "Open up for me, Love. Let me in, let me come for you."
"Mmm," I hummed, soaking in the comfortable warmth and darkness. I promised, "Soon."
"Now, Love." The voice demanded, stern yet undeniably loving.
"Can't we stay here a bit longer?" I begged, refusing to open my eyes to face this reality I did not understand. I did not want to face this man, I wasn't ready for him to be more than a shadow.
"I promise, my little Feather, you're going to love getting to know me." The man said suggestively, using this foreign pet name in a way that ignited my insides. My eyelids burned but I held them shut in defiance.
The man continued, softer in tone but just as seductive. "I know what you're going through is hard, I won't pretend to know to what extent. But I can say with confidence that once you let go of the past, once you stop running from your future, I will be there to make damn sure you enjoy every moment of the present."
I felt the man move closer to me, his presence was directly causing the heat I realized. His scent was just as familiar as his voice and just as unplaceable—firewhiskey, smoke, and motor oil. It was intoxicating, invigorating, and so dangerous. So distinctly not George.
I Inhaled the scent greedily, my senses slightly heightened with my eyes closed for some time.
I was being stubborn on purpose now, doing anything to make sure the man stayed near enough that I could keep breathing him in. It was addicting, the danger, the thrill of the game. "How do I know that's true?"
"Do you trust me, Andrella?" He purred in my
ear, his breath hot confirmation of his existence.
"Yes,'' I said, breathlessly and without thought. I knew it was true. My whole body felt it was true. It answered for me.
"Good girl." The man growled with a possessiveness that made the hair on my arms stand up in excitement instead of fear.
It was the only warning of the oncoming kiss, the claiming of my mouth. I truly was breathless now as I allowed the stranger to kiss me with passion I had not yet felt, but I tried to keep pace. I grasped onto his shoulders, nails dug into lean muscle that flexed as he held his body over mine. He lifted my nightgown up and over my hips, down and around my breasts, letting it bunch around my middle. He kissed me senseless, until I was gasping and he was chuckling a breathy laugh as he continued his trail down my body. He shifted and I could feel his shoulder nudging apart my thighs wide enough for him to fit before his bearded cheek came to rest on my thigh.
"Try and relax, Love. I promise you'll love this." He vowed, beard tickling less the more he kissed and licked at my skin. My laughter at the sensations quickly turned to caught breaths and moans. He worked meticulously to bring me apart, skillfully sucking moans from my throat as he worked his way inside my thighs until his lips hovered over the damp spot on my underwear.
"Do you want me to give you a preview of how much you'll enjoy living in the present with me?" The man teased, exaggerating the words as he spoke them against the fabric, wetting it further and making me squirm.
"Yes," I breathed again, when he just laughed, I resorted to begging. "Yes, please."
"Good girl," he said to me but I felt his calloused hands run up my thighs until they were clutching at my underwear. Teasingly slow, he slid them down, laughing as I eagerly lifted my hips to help him.
"Can you make me a promise?" He wagered as he hesitated, leaving the fabric bunched at my ankles. He moved back so he would be looking me in my eyes if I granted him what he wanted and opened them to acknowledge him. When I didn't he moved so he was speaking into my neck, holding his body in a way he had full access to my throat. He roughly shoved one knee between my legs, pressing his full body weight against me as he gently nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck.
"Depends on what it is," I replied carefully, but still impatient quickly added, "Now is a good time to ask. I'm rather a big fan of yours at the moment…"
"When I make you come, after you wake up, promise me you'll contact Severus."
"Contact Severus…Snape? Why?" I asked, confused as ever. Somehow unable to comprehend why this familiar stranger would be asking about my former potions master.
"For one, I know for a fact he is worried bloody sick trying to locate you without success. Honestly he's wandering around the hospital wing like a mother hen who's misplaced her egg AND her head." He spoke in a breathy voice, tone nonchalant even as he knowingly drove me mad. He knew just the way to do so, sucking a mark into that spot on my neck, biting and nipping, and then blowing on it.
"A-and second?" I stuttered, grinding into his knee without shame. I was so turned on now that when I made contact with his knee I felt the evidence of my arousal dripping down his leg and mine.
A fact that was not lost on him as he growled, biting into my skin again, sucking a new mark as he ground his knee harder against me. I dug my nails into his shoulders and lost myself in the pleasure of being taken this way. It was so much rougher than anything I had experienced with George, but still full of a similar love, a subtle care in the savagery.
"Secondly, it's how you get to me. It's how I get my hands on you in the present, where I can make this a reality." He finally answered as he came up for air, blowing on the new mark.
"This—this isn't real?" I stuttered, breathless from the teasing, from the ache he created for himself between my legs.
"Not yet, but soon. If you let it." He answered wistfully, asking again, "Will you let me in? Will you come for me?"
"Yes," I vowed, without question of my intention to do anything he asked. My only question was why I felt that way. I knew I would have my answer if I opened my eyes but I made it this long and I didn't want to break my will now.
"Good girl." He praised, removing my underwear at last. He moved quickly to position himself back in between my legs. When he spoke it was clear against my lips, tongue flicking out with every other pause in word to tease me open, "One last thing, when you come for me, say my name. Will you do that for me?"
"Yes." I repeated, squirming under his relentless teasing. But as soon as I agreed to his conditions he gripped my thighs for leverage and made me pant and writhe under his tongue. Not only was he a master of the art of persuasion, but of the art of passion as well.
It felt like seconds and hours; this mastery evident and unequivocal. In reality, I knew it was under ten minutes and I felt no shame as I came all over his face, finally opening my eyes as the force of my orgasm overtook my will. A woman of my words, I managed to choke out my lover's name.
XXX
"Seriously? This is ridiculous!" I groaned as I woke up alone and uncomfortable. "Get a hold of yourself, Andi. It's just a dream."
It felt so wrong to have a dream like that, one so vivid and effective and so not about George. I refused to think of his name or conjure his handsome face. But I couldn't deny the evidence—the giant puddle soaking into the sheets underneath me was growing cold.
With another groan and a wave of my hand, I banished my mess away and dived back into the pillows. But now that I knew I was awake, my body was screaming at me to relieve myself. I thought about doing it magically, but I really wasn't ready to stoop so low.
Not again, you mean. Romona taunted as I clung to the warmth of the blankets, choosing not to care that it was an animal carcass I was hugging. "For the last time, it was the 1500's. It was not only practical but luxurious. Get over it."
I wasn't able to get comfortable, my full bladder betraying my great desire to ignore the day. So after a few minutes of self inflicted pain, I threw myself out of bed with a great huff, bringing the bear skin with me as I waddled to the loo.
I found that now my primary needs were taken care of. It was nearly impossible not to think of his face. My dream intruder, my savior.
It was too easy to picture him in the claw foot tub in the corner, surrounded by a layer of bubbles charmed to change colors. One hand would be playing with the bubbles, splashing the water around, the other raised out to offer his flute of champagne. It was so easy to picture myself reaching out to take the drink just to be pulled into the tub with him still fully clothed.
It was too easy to see him sitting on the ledge on the shower, sitting just out of the spray but close enough to enjoy the heat. It was too easy to picture the look of blissful contentment to surprised delighted as I imagined myself walking through the spray silently to straddle his lap. It was too easy to feel his thighs between mine, the muscles of his shoulders flexing as I used them to hold myself in position. I gasped at the phantom sensation of his erection pressing against my stomach.
I snapped my eyes open and felt embarrassed as I realized my hands were outstretched, mirroring the action of gripping his shoulders. I let them fall to my side limply as I finished my business and left the loo. I thought about returning to sleep but the sun was streaming through the water into the room. It was horrible for day sleeping, but beautiful for day drinking.
I conjured a bottle of Firewhiskey and my mother's diary. I brought them with me on my exploration of the downstairs area, marveling again at the expertise in Romana's design aesthetic. I loved the fortress; it really was the only home I knew at the moment. But this place? This place was a dream. Where the Malfoy Manor was the only available example she had of wizarding luxury, this could not compare. It was clean and crisp, yet still warm and inviting. With the view of the ocean surrounding on all sides, illuminated by the enchantments on the glass so that the vibrant life of the ocean was center display? Well, it would be hard not to be inspired, to have a renewed appreciation for life.
Once I walked down the hidden stairs carved into the side of the wall separating the bathroom from the bedroom I was in heaven. The enchanted fireplace of the headboard sat high in the sky, making the seating area cozier. There was a daybed lined with blankets, furs, and pillows. And at the foot of the bed was a circular couch surrounding a glass table. All in shades of blue so that the entire room blended into the ocean surrounding it.
The view upstairs was beautiful. The view downstairs? Breathtaking. As I sunk into the warmth of the couch, the view of the ocean and all its livelihood, unobstructed by anything, was almost enough to distract me from my dream and phantom sex vision. Almost.
I knew-of the man in my dreams, but nowhere near intimately. We haven't even met, not what I would consider properly at least. I had no reason to be dreaming of him like that. Not with that amount of detail, that level of sensation.
It felt wrong, because it didn't. It felt different from George, but just as vibrant. One part of the vision I was choosing to ignore was the presence of Cosmic Climax Colors—or orbs of pretty lights surrounding me and my lover as we orgasmed in tandem. I could see the brilliance of their full color display behind my stubbornly closed eyelids.
I continued to ignore admitting the name of my lover, tried to ignore conjuring his handsome face, and definitely didn't think of the way his tongue felt inside of me, spelling his name relentlessly until it fell from my lips in a scream of pleasure.
I did, however, rack my brain for the easiest way to push that from my mind—and the sensations it awoke in my body. I landed on my mother's journal. It did the trick; ridding my stomach of butterflies and replacing them with bats as I cracked open the leather binding.
At first I saw nothing, no writing on the page. Nothing at all. Completely blank pages. But then as I returned to the first page I saw elegant cursive appearing on the page. It was foreign and yet painfully familiar. It was the same handwriting that was stitched into the blanket I was wrapped in when she left me at Hogwarts, giving me my best chance as well as my name.
"If you are reading this you must be a current or future friend or ally to my daughter, Andrella Jade. That is the only way this diary would have appeared to you, however, you will forgive me the caution of a soon-to-be mother. I know the future and it is not kind. Yet I believe there is kindness left in this world, and that is why I write. It is my intention to leave behind a key to helping my daughter to understand where she has come from and why she must suffer such pain. When she reads this, she will experience something that can only be shared between Ismerte. All others who read this will receive a guide on how best to help my daughter to fulfill her destiny and bring Albion's return.
"This task is not for the faint of heart nor soul. Not everyone is worthy of the knowledge I am about to share for it so easily could be misinterpreted and misused. Therefore, should you wish to continue reading, I ask you to write your full name on the page below in your own blood. If you are worthy, the rest of the contents of this diary will appear. If you are not, if you intend any harm to my daughter, if you plan to misuse the knowledge of the Ismerte for selfish, personal gain—return this book to where you found it and forget its existence now. You have been warned.
Then below my mother's elegant script were more names than I expected to see. All of the signatures were individual to the reader, not only in the distinctness of their handwriting but by DNA. It was shocking to see all of these names written in blood, essentially swearing their loyalty to me. It was haunting to see one of them starting to darken to black, showing his wavering loyalty even if it wasn't surprising. But what I found most surprising were the first few names on the list.
Narcissa Malfoy
Regulus Arcturus Black
Sirius Orion Black
Remus John Lupin
James Fleamont Potter
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
Severus Snape
Minerva McGonagall
I suppose it was a combination of both factors. There were two known death eaters on the list and yet it was Dumbledore's name that was blackening. It was also disturbing to see the signatures of Regulus and James faded to just a shade above pink to indicate their passing, their loyalty until death. My mind could not comprehend the presence of Narcissa's Malfoy name, much less hers being the first to read the contents of my mother's diary.
I summoned a quill and wasted no time with squeamishness, pricking my left wrist and dipping the tip to collect the blood. I used it as ink like the eight others before me, writing my own name under McGonagall's. I wondered if her reading this journal had anything to do with her speech about my bravery or why she remained on my side of the magical boundary tonight. I began to wonder if I had disappointed her with my exit from education, but for only a minute as I got caught up with the beauty of my mother's magic. It was so thorough, so delicate yet precise.
As the blood soaked into the parchment, it began to glow a faint gold, glittering with the complicated magic my mother used to protect her secrets—now our secrets. The glowing light grew stronger as my blood dried, the leather growing hot to the touch, the pages vibrating with a cackling energy. Then just as suddenly the notebook slammed itself shut, snuffing out the light with a flash. It happened so quickly I would have thought I imagined it, if it weren't for the leather remaining warm to the touch.
I began to reopen the book but hesitated, letting it fall closed again. Now that I was so close to gaining the knowledge I sought, I wasn't sure if I was really ready for it. But I knew, I knew that the diary would only appear when I was ready for it, and more importantly when I needed it most. And still I hesitated. I remembered my dream, of the promise I had made. I remembered the words of my mother when she bound the journal to my soul.
I still wasn't sure what was real and what was made up. My mind had become a very strange place, even more so than usual since this last coma. I knew why. I just couldn't face it yet. I couldn't, I can't—No! I am ready.
I shook my head and summoned a parchment and a quill. When I dipped my quill into the inkwell, I had no idea what I would write to Severus, but I still felt compelled to do so. Once my quill touched parchment, it wrote with a mind of its own—finding exactly the right words to write. I suspect it was Neviah's guidance as they were both suspiciously silent. It wasn't until I finished writing and was rereading for clarity that I realized I had asked Seveus to meet me at the Hog's Head at his earliest convenience. And to bring Moony and Padfoot. Without another thought I sealed the letter and sent it on its way, summoning another bottle of fire whiskey to take its place.
Bullocks.
I wasn't ready to read this diary. I wasn't ready to face Severus or the man from my dreams either. I wasn't ready to face the consequences of Elliott's actions or my own. For the first time since meeting him, I didn't have a single thought to extend toward George and I wasn't ready to face that either.
I had to and I knew it. It didn't matter whether I was ready for it or not. It was coming toward me either way, I might as well face it head on. Earning my house colors, I opened the book with a courageous determination to get to the heart of the truth.
XXX
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
'Ello lovely readers! It's been too long for apologies. For anyone still reading this after m this time, I offer only my gratitude, appreciation, and dedication to finish this story no matter how long it takes.
I hope you have enjoyed the latest installment! Andrella's new dream man will be in the next chapter. Do y'all know who it is yet? If you have opinions, I'd love to hear them before things start to get heated. ;)
until then...
Ex's Oh's
Audrey V. Sullivan