No copyright infringement intended. I own no rights of the characters. I make no profits from writing this story.
TRIGGER warnings: violence, language, sex, SA
Without further delay, please enjoy the chapter...
XXX
The first thing I noticed when my vision from the transition resettled was the bemused expression my mother wore as she looked at me, arms akimbo from her position across from me in the sweet scented, swirling fog of the land beyond the living. I went to speak but was cut off.
"Fine, then. Let's get to it, eh?" Emmaleena gestured to the conjured chairs. "Which do you want to know about first– your father or your future?"
"Father." I answered instinctually. It might seem like a choice of priorities and not cowardice but I promise that is not the case. Even though learning about him was the entire mission of this adventure, I still wasn't fully ready to face him. The implication he was my future didn't make it any easier a topic to broach.
"Very well, then. We'll skip ahead a bit past the initial introductions to Hogwarts and get right on to my first night at the castle." Emmaleena explained with a firm nod that I mirrored. We both knew that this would not be an easy story to tell or hear, let alone for us to both see, but we would get through it this time.
Emmaleena reached for my hand. A blink and a breath and I felt the familiar feeling of sitting on a wooden bench. It was odd opening my eyes to see the Great Hall from the perspective of a Ravenclaw. I never had such an occasion to visit other houses tables in my own time at Hogwarts. I swallowed the realization that my time at Hogwarts really was over, choosing instead to peer around the familiar room and mostly unfamiliar faces.
I started with the staff table and smiled at the young faces of my professors. McGonagall was quite the looker despite the ever present frown on her face as she looked down at the disturbance the unruly first years were causing at her house's table. I squinted to see if I could make out the perpetrators. I couldn't hold back my surprised gasp when I could, in fact, make out two of them. Reasonable deduction led me to the identities of the remaining two.
"Is it really them?" I asked my mother with astonishment.
She shook her head with amusement, "Yes, Andrella. You're witnessing the formation of the notorious Marauders."
"They look so innocent and small " I gushed as I watched the legends of my youth, the minds that would create the Maurauders Map that would lead to such mischief for generations to come.
"Don't let them fool you." Emmaleena snorted, but concedes, "Though you're right, they won't become a nuisance until next year. For us, at least. For now, watch the Slytherin table. That's where the danger lies for us."
I didn't miss the warning in her tone or the pain. I commented on neither but turned my full attention to the emerald clad students. It didn't take any time at all to find familiar faces there. Many of them, in fact. Lucius, Bellatrix, and Narcissa were the most recognizable, but I also noticed other baby death eaters. Dolohov, LeStrange, Flint, the Carrow Twins. And then finally a singular face that made me smile.
Severus.
I couldn't help but smile at the way his child's face managed to convince his disdain for the ineptitude of his fellow first years. Instead of intimidating, the sneer he wore was absolutely adorable. I felt a fondness I couldn't quite name. The closest I could liken it to is when my aunt showed me all the baby photos of Donald, my father for so long. I couldn't believe the thought had never crossed my mind before and I was looking at Emmaleena with hopeful eyes before the question even fully formed in my mind.
She read it anyway. Her frown was as soft as her touch on my hand, as soothing as her voice when she answered. "I would love nothing more than to tell you your father was a man as good as Donald Wendling or Severus Snape. I wish nothing more that I could tell you that your father would have been a loving supporter of you if he knew of your existence. It pains me that I can't tell you something more pleasant than the truth.
"Your father sits at that table a predator in training, not a survivor of his circumstances. Even now on my first night at Hogwarts, he is plotting ways to ensure I stay on his radar and as under his control as he can possibly manage.
"But your father is no idiot. He is a coward and he is cruel, but he is as ambitious and cunning as they come. He will come forward wearing a mask, and his true intentions will not be revealed until the damage is done. He was my first lesson to not judge people on their words, but on their actions." Emmaleena finished heavily.
I gripped her hand as she spoke but didn't look at her. My eyes left the young version of my mentor to observe all the other snakes in their habitat. One of these men was my father. I looked for traces of myself in them, but after seeing Emmaleena at this age it was clear I was lucky for the strength of her genes. We practically looked like sisters. Her hair was a bit darker, but still blond. She was a bit shorter and had more curves, but we had the same complexion. We shared the same smile, the same laugh.
The sound of my laughter coming from the young version of Emmaleena broke me from my trance. For the first time I noticed the people she was engaged in conversation with. There was a group of Ravenclaws leaning in close to greet their newest house member. The one who stood out the most was the beautiful woman sitting next to my mother. She had gorgeous hazel eyes, chocolate brown curls, and the most adorable dimples.
"That's Donna Napier" My mother laughed, her tone still amused but slightly sharp. " She's currently trying to befriend me under the strategy of keeping her enemies close. She's the self-proclaimed fittest girl in Ravenclaw for all seven years of attendance and she doesn't want some French sixth year ruining it for her now. Spoiler! We do."
I laughed along with her and pointed to others. She obliged with brief introductions of them all.
"The one with the gold glasses is Marjorie Lance. That's Tottie Boots and Derrick Donahue.The blonde haired girl in the red is Sarah Ferguson. She's quite nice, but rather quiet. The gorgeous brown haired boy is Nyle Napier. He'll get the courage to ask me out in a few weeks. I'll confide in him that I'm a lesbian and we'll become best friends."
"Woah! Hold up! Two things." I wheezed, holding my hand up and gesturing for her to pause as I comprehended what all she just revealed.
My mother waited patiently as she did this. Still looking rather amused at the situation, perhaps even more so. More than I thought she had the right to look. She gave me a conspiratorial wink.
"You've been waiting for that one, haven't you?" I complained without heat.
"Well, you know. You only get to come out to your child once, I thought it'd be more fun this way. Don't you agree?" Emmaleena grinned.
"Well, I suppose that depends on what alternatives you had considered." I couldn't help but sass back. Maybe one day I'd learn not to ask for trouble, but that day was not today.
With a mischievous laugh, Emmaleena gripped my hand tighter and with no other warning transported us to another scene. There was no time for closing my eyes to ward off the disorientation. One second we were in the great Hall surrounded by everyone in the school, the next we were in a giant bubble bath with two others in a mostly silent bathroom. A glance around told me it was the Prefects and that the other two were at the opposite side of the tub.
It was steamy and dark and hard to make out much more than a tangle of pale limbs in the tall mountains of enchanted bubbles. The moans were clear even over the splashing of the water. They were distinctly feminine and full of pleasure.
I was perfectly content to stay there, but my mother was intent to prove her point. She dragged me through the water despite my heated cheeks and squaked protests. She only stopped when we were just close enough to make out the two figures, but not quite what they were doing. The sounds left little to the imagination, but thankfully the bubbles and steam masked their naughty bits and most of their motions.
Young Emmaleena was standing with her back to us, her long blond hair cascading down her back. Her head was turned to show her profile. The grimace Emmaleena wore was one of pleasure as her lover wrapped her legs around her waist and bit down into the crevice of her neck and shoulder. Emmaleena's arm left her lovers hair to disappear in the fog. Whatever it left to do, it was apparently successful in it's mission. Emmaleena's wanton chuckle filled the air as her lover's head snapped up and revealed her identity.
I gasped and turned my head away, too embarrassed to watch as recognition dawned.
"I didn't take you to be a homophobic prude." My mother remarked in a scolding way.
" It's not that! No one wants to watch their parents have sex, mum! Especially not with a death eater." It was a low blow but I was mortified.
I felt Emmaleena's nails dig into my shoulder and watched as the water disappeared. I knew we were somewhere else but I didn't know where exactly. I refused to meet her eyes until I felt her grip leave my shoulder and a defeated sign behind me.
"She took the mark after all, did she?" My mother's statement was more resignation than it was a question.
"I–I don't know. I've never actually met her. I don't know. I'm s–" but Emmaleena cut me off before I could finish my sentence.
"Don't apologize if you don't mean it." Emmaleena instructed, cool but firm. I dared a glance behind me. I saw her staring at her past with equal parts longing and regret. When she turned to look at me, all that read in her expression was determination. "Stand by what you said if you know it's right."
"But I don't know. I–I only know rumors. I made assumptions based on the company she keeps." I admitted, unwilling to look anywhere but my mother's eyes. It wasn't easy to hold her gaze, but I refused to cower.
"Fair assumptions based on her sister and husband. Their eager displays of power and superiority. Their love of cruelty. Have you met either of them?" Emmaleena asked directly, though I suspected she knew the answer.
"No. Not personally. Lucius is after me. He wants me dead but I don't know why. He sends his henchmen to do his dirty work or exploits his son." I spat in disgust, images of Lucius smiling as he tortured Draco and Renea in his study.
"Narcissa had a boy. Good." Was all Emmaleena said in acknowledgement, her voice far away.
"Are we not going to address the fact your cousin–my uncle–is trying to have me assassinated?" I couldn't help but snark back.
"Oh, I'm afraid it's even worse than that." Emmaleena admitted simply, then at the first sign of my protest, continued, "And the reason why started with what I just showed you. Lucius' hate towards you begins with the love Narcissa and I shared. It didn't begin in that bathtub, but it was first acknowledged and solidified there."
"You were in love with Narcissa Malfoy?! But how?! Why?" I couldn't keep the incredulity out of my outburst.
"Black. Narcissa Black." Emmaleena corrected. "I was and forever will be in love with Narcissa Black. I never met Narcissa Malfoy."
"Okay, I need you to explain but spare me any more x-rated scenes. I'm trying not to judge here, but I don't understand." I tried a new approach.
I didn't want to offend my mother any more than I already had, but two and two was not equalling four in this equation. I could not reconcile the image of Narcissa Black as a small child with innocent laughter and fear of her older sister with the image of Narcissa Malfoy with her fine features carved out of ice as she stood beside her death eater husband. I certainly couldn't relate either of those known images to the one I had just seen, Narcissa Black as a teenager first making love with teen Emmaleena in the prefects bathroom.
There must be more to the story and I was determined to listen without prejudice as my mother told me.
"I will get back to this, explain it all so you have a hope of understanding. I know the woman you know as Narcissa Malfoy is not the Narcissa Black I knew and love. But you said you had two things you wanted to say to me." Emmaleena said gently.
"What?" I blinked stupidly, mind wiped blank.
"In the Great Hall, after I so graciously revealed I am lesbian. You said you had two things to say. We already got your reaction to the gay part–"
"Hey now!" I interjected. "I want the record to show my reaction was to Narcissa being who she is, not that she's a she."
"So, you wouldn't have had the same reaction if you were to find out my lover was Minerva?" Emmaleena raised a brow in challenge.
"No, I think I might have just about the same reaction." I laughed, physically shaking the thought from my mind. "She's your professor! And mine!"
"Relax! Despite my best efforts, she has the same boring moral alignment you seem to have." Emmaleena refuted, her eye roll ending in a rather pleased smirk. "At least, for everyone besides one Professor Remus J. Lupin, am I right?"
"Mum! Stop it! We're not talking about that. He's currently eleven!" I shrieked, picturing the adorable yet frail boy I saw in the great Hall earlier, not the sexy and scarred dark arts professor of last year.
"Fine, then. What was your second point?" Emmaleena steered the conversation back on track.
"Donna and Nyle Napier… are they related?" I broke the ice with the most mundane yet still relevant question I could think of.
"Yes, they're twins." Emmaleena nodded, "and you can see it in their looks, but their personalities couldn't be more unrelated."
"Did…did either of them have any children?" I tried to ask as nonchalantly as possible.
Of course, Emmaleena saw right through that. Thankfully, she wasn't still holding a grudge over my initial reaction to her relationship with Narcissa. She answered the question I really needed to know.
"Donna is Elliot's mother. Nyle was killed in the first war before he had any children. Also before he could teach his nephew how to be a proper gentleman, it seems."
"That's one way of putting it." I spat back, laughing without humor.
"I know exactly what happened, Andrella. I hold no judgment over the outcome of that night. He made his choice and his death is the result of that choice." Emmaleena said firmly, her hand returning to my shoulder with a gentle touch.
"Do not misunderstand me, daughter. He left you with no choices. He robbed you of any other course of action.
"The choice to end his life was not made by you. The blood of the ancient dragonlords was awakened the moment he chose to assault you. The power to change into the dragon form must be blessed by the current Dragonlord–Merlin himself. When you called for help, he answered."
"Merlin is still alive?!" I shouted, covering my mouth at the volume out of habit. I realized some time ago we were in the library. It made me rather fidgety as the subject was broached.
"Is that all you got from that, Andrella?" My mother asked, with an exasperation that was becoming habitual. "Yes. Merlin is still alive, out there somewhere. He spends his time pretty equally between here and the land beyond the living. He's a very odd man, reminds me a bit of Dumbledore except funnier."
"You've met Merlin? The Merlin?!" I squaked my disbelief.
"Well, he prefers to go by Emrys now the muggles have regained interest in the stories of Merlin and King Arthur. But yes, at least a handful of times." My mother conceded.
"Are all the stories real?" I asked.
"A good many of them, but many others aren't. It's probably half and half at this point." Emmaleena answered, "Though I can say that the most impressive bits of magic he's performed over the years are well hidden."
"Okay, enough about Merlin for now. We're here to learn about my father. But first I want to be properly introduced to the woman you love. If you say the Narcissa you knew is different from the one of my time, then I want to see it." I said resolutely.
"Thank you, Andrella." Emmaleena said, voice thick as she claps both her hands over mine and squeezes tight.
The air wavered as I looked at our hands as they fall onto the familiar surface of a library table stacked with books. Emmaleena squeezed my hands again before letting go and pointing to the other end of the table.
I looked down to see the teen versions of Emmaleena, Narcissa, and Nyle all chatting lively over their unopened books. They were laughing and joking easily, like they knew each other for years instead of…
"Three days." My mother supplied me with a fond chuckle. "Nyle was assigned by Dumbledore to get me caught up in both sixth and seventh year classes when he saw my exam scores from Beauxbatons. Narcissa was assigned by Lucius to keep an eye on me whenever he couldn't. He wanted Narcissa to be a spy."
"Wanted?" I pointed out her sarcastic inflection.
"You remember the conversation in the garden? When Bella threatened Narcissa if she continued to be my friend?" Emmaleena asked.
I nodded.
"She listened. She cut off all contact except pleasantries at social gatherings. But when I was transferred to Hogwarts, Narcissa saw it as a second chance to get her best friend back."
"You were best friends with Narcissa?"
"I was. Our families were all quite close until that outburst at the party. My father became estranged from his brother after that, but was still fond of his nephew. By this point, Narcissa's hand was already promised to Lucius. And when my father asked Lucius to 'keep a watchful eye on me', Lucius pawned the task off to his intended.
"Worked out well for him, didn't it?" Emmaleena laughed cruelly. "Narcissa now had the perfect excuse to spend as much time as she wanted with me unsupervised. And the best part of it was that Bellatrix couldn't say a word against it because Lucius asked Narcissa to do it! Narcissa couldn't defy her intended husband, now could she?"
"Kinda looks like she did from my memory," I remarked before the joke registered in my own mind. When it did, my cheeks turned as red as my house colors.
"That comes later." Emmaleena snickered. "For quite a while, we would remain 'just friends'. Best friends, and fast, but strictly platonic until the end of term. Despite Nyle's best efforts to get either of us to get over ourselves and admit our feelings. He really was like the brother I never got to have."
It was hard to look at Nyle and not see Elliot. They had the same hair, the same dimples. But there were differences. The eyes were the same color but Elliot's were narrower. They shared the same mouth, but Nyle's smile was kinder.
"Nyle remained a kind, loyal, and just man until the day he died fighting the death eaters that invaded his home." Emmaleena explained with a sad fondness. "Nyle was a brilliant curse breaker and a pureblood. Voldemort wanted him for his cause but Nyle refused. He spent the year after graduation on the run but they finally caught him in the Alps. I don't even think he knew we was to be an uncle."
"When it became clear Renea was lost to the Malfoys and there was little to nothing I could do to help her, I began seeing Elliot as my best friend." I admitted that it burned me to say the words. And in a way it did.
"The dragon will always be with you now. You'll feel it beneath the surface, especially when your emotions flair." Emmaleena explained. "It's okay not to know how to feel about him. It's okay to feel contradicting ways."
"I hate him." I affirmed. "Not just what he did to me, but for not being the friend I thought he was. But–but I–"
"It's okay, Andrella. You're safe. It's okay." Emmaleena assured me as I gripped my hand, taking me away from the library.
My tears blurred the transition. When my mother pulled her hand away to return with a handkerchief, I gratefully accepted. I blew my nose and wiped my eyes, seeing that we were at the edge of the black lake.
"I thought I hated George, too." I whispered to the wind. The reassuring squeeze from my mum confirmed she heard it, too, so I continued, "When George came I thought I was safe and when he believed it was a trick, that I wanted Elliot to–to–I thought I hated him. But I don't. And that kind of makes me hate me, too "
"Shhh, no, baby. No. You can't hate yourself for loving someone. You can't hate yourself for having a heart so full of love." Emmaleena said as she gathered me into her arms.
She leaned back against the thick base of the tree and let me sob into her shoulder. She rubbed my back with one hand and the other ran through my hair. Her voice was low and soothing as she comforted me.
"Sometimes the people who we love hurt us the most. Sometimes we're the ones who hurt our loved ones more than we think ourselves capable. That's what the blood purists always fail to remember. Our magic doesn't change the fact we're human first. And being human means making mistakes.
"When you're in love, every mistake can seem like the end all, be all…everything seems so fragile. But real love is strong. It can make us capable of the impossible. It can make the unforgivable, forgotten."
"Did something like this happen to you and Narcissa?" I hiccuped.
"We had our own version of the Ismerte trials, yes. We did not pass them." Emmaleena said with finality. These failed trials would not be discussed right now.
"Can you tell me more about her? I know we're running out of time and I want to understand your relationship with her better." I said softly, voice still scratchy from the crying fit. For the moment, my eyes had run dry and I needed my mind distracted to keep it that way.
"She's wickedly intelligent, both academically and socially. Her humor was dry enough to rival Snape's but instead of a sarcastic drawl, she usually paired her best insults with a cocked head and feigned curiosity.
"She was so graceful when it came to house politics–
"She was so talented in getting exactly what she wanted without hurting any one–
"She had a way of completing secret acts of kindness, no one ever caught onto. Like this one time, she charmed Nyle's books to fall into the lap of his crush so he had to talk to her. It was so cute and this other time–"
As my mother described Narcissa to me, it was clear she was as in love as she claimed to be. There was no doubt about that. From the simple way she stated facts with pride and stories with pure adoration, I knew it. Narcissa and my mum were like George and me. Best friends that fell in love with each other and took too long to figure it out. That last point was illustrated by the many stories she told of Nyle trying to get them together. It reminded me of Renae.
"Mum, I'm sorry to interrupt but I just thought of something." I stopped her story with a sheepish grin as I finally sat up.
"Yes, darling?"
"Lucius has been putting my friend Renae under the imperius curse. The cruciatus, too. I'm afraid she's not quite right in the head anymore. I need to get her help. I need to get her away from him, I need–" as I began to explain, I began to panic.
Emmaleena's hand fell on my shoulder as she sucked her head to force me to look her in the eyes. "Renae will be okay. Romona will be able to help you make the healing potions she will need. You can make them at the safehouse. Any ingredients you don't have, Dobby can get for you. No matter where you are, he'll be just a call away. Then you can get the potions to Snape when you meet him. I believe you already have that arranged by now?"
"I, yes. Yes, next week." I chose to answer instead of questioning how she knew. I could feel the memory fading with my energy, but I still had answers I needed before I could go.
"Why is Dobby there for me?"
"Dobby serves the Malfoy bloodline." Emmaleena said as if that explained anything. Then misunderstanding my continued confusion, amended, "Or served, if the Potter child already freed him."
"But you're not a Malfoy by blood." I reasoned.
"But you are." Emmaleena said plainly.
I pulled back at her words, as her gaze remained steady on mine but her shoulders squared. Bracing for impact. Ripping the band-aid off.
"No." I refuted.
"I'm afraid so, Andrella." My mother sighed, trying to place her hand on my shoulder but I ducked it.
"No." I repeated, firmer.
"I'm sorry, Andrella. I really am. I told you I wished I could tell you something better than the truth but I will not lie to you." Emmaleena sighed, adding with the deepest bitterness I was only just beginning to understand, "I can't."
"What do you mean 'can't?" I demanded.
"One of the rules in creating these journals is honesty and transparency. We cannot lie, omit truth, withhold information, or do anything to stop the pursuit of knowledge." Emmaleena explained.
"If I had it my way, you would die without knowing who you father is because I truly believe you will be better off without the burden." My mother said firmly, not allowing me to look away. "But you asked who your father is and I must tell you."
"No!" I shouted, placing my hands over my ears in a childish display as I screamed. "Stop! I don't want to know. Don't tell me!"
Emmaleena smiled as silent tears fell from her eyes. She used both hands to gently pry my hands away from my ears. She managed to pull them both into her own as my struggling grew weaker with my growing sobs.
"No." I pleaded.
She smiled again, fresh tears rolling down her face. For several moments it looked like she was fighting to keep her smile, to keep her mouth from opening to speak the truth neither of us were ready to hear. She reached down to place a kiss to my forehead, her entire body trembling with her efforts to keep his name from her lips.
"It's okay, mum. It's okay. Say it." I whispered my permission. Unable to see her like that any longer no matter the price. I wrapped her in a hug and breathed in tight as she held me.
She exhaled his name, keeping her voice as low as possible, "Lucius Malfoy is your father."
"H-how?"
"Lucius set a trap. He used polyjuice potion to forge Narcissa's handwriting to write a letter begging me to rescue him from her. Then he used her face as a disguise to lure me into a place where I was unable to use my magic. He overpowered me and the blood of the dragons was awakened." Emmaleena said this with a shiver. I hugged her tighter and we cried together. After the last traces of color left the sky, the tears subsided enough for her to continue.
"I would have killed him with the dragon's breath. I was meant to. It was Merlin's plan, but I pulled back at the last moment because I saw Narcissa. I knew that I couldn't control the fire enough not to burn her so I blew it the other way and escaped. I had a vision of you while I was flying. Dragon visions are clearer, more precise in detail without the confusion of human emotion. What I saw, what I felt–I knew I had to keep going so you could have that."
"What did you see?" I finally asked after it was clear she wasn't going to enlighten me on her own.
"Your future. Your second chance at love, knowing all you know, knowing how it will all end." Emmaleena spouted nonsense like she was trying to give her best Trewlanely impersonation. Emmaleena rolled her eyes at me. " I resent that."
"Are you going to tell me who this great second love is, or am I supposed to give another drop of blood to get it out of you?" I sighed dramatically.
"Hush, daughter. I was just about to tell you." Emmaleena bumped my shoulder and raised her arms to point at the clear night sky. "Let's see if your astronomy education is up to snuff with a little pop quiz. What's the name of that constellation over there?"
"No." I said in disbelief for the millionth time that night. This time without any of the horror, only the tiniest bit of hope.
"Yes."
"Oh, no." I groaned, realizing all the implications of the sisters' teasing, of the room off the dining room…
"Oh, yes." Emmaleena snickered. Teasing me like a mate instead of her daughter. "You better get your head in the game because I know first hand this one's a cheeky little sneak. You give him hell, kid, and if he misbehaves you remind him who your mother is and what she knows about him."
"I will, Mum. I love you." I laughed, looking back to her face once I noticed the sky starting to fade out. I was lucky to catch her smile before she began to fade, too. I felt her return the love, even if she couldn't say it. I closed my eyes to fully savor the last trace of her hug.
I sat for a while with my eyes closed, just processing all I learned tonight. I wrestled with the urge to summon a parchment and a quill over a bottle. In the end, I settled on both. I took a few generous drinks and began writing.
"To my Silly Billy Bear,
I am finally ready to meet you. I'm ready to enjoy the present with you. I have a plan to make sure we both get to enjoy it together freely and out in the open. I'm ready for my future to be now.
Always, your little feather."
I sealed the letter with a literal kiss. Summoning lipstick just to place over the seal and then wipe off immediately after. Why? Because I knew the effort would be appreciated. And I wanted to be appreciated. I wanted to be a bit selfish this once. So, without allowing myself to think about it further I willed the letter directly into the hands of its intended reader.
The unexpected twinge of guilt at doing so took my mood down several notches. I finished the bottle with a grimace and summoned fresh parchment and more ink. With liquid courage running freely through my veins, I wasn't likely to lose the nerve to say what I wanted to say. I was, however, very likely to lose my ability to write them. And soon. So I let my hand write my heart's word freely so as long as they would flow.
"Dear George,
I love you.
I do now as much as I did. Despite everything. I still love you. I don't think I'll ever stop.
But I know you don't love me right now. I know you're not ready to know the truth and that's okay. I don't blame you. It is easier this way.
I just want you to know that I want you to be happy. I will never stop loving you, but I know we will not be together again in this lifetime. I've accepted that. I know I am going to spend my life making as many happy memories as I can. I want you to do the same. I want you to feel love again.
I want you to be free from guilt, from pain, even if that means you will be free of me. I will never wish you anything but the best. I will never feel anything but love for you.
When you are ready, I have written letters explaining everything for you. I left them in the fortress you gifted me. If you accept your necklace back from me, you will always be granted safe haven inside. It will become your key and you will never lose it again.
I love you, George. Please take care of yourself.
Yours forever, Andrella.
I willed George's necklace and the letter to his bedside table where the picture of us used to sit before he scorched a hole in my face. I didn't know where his hands were, what they were doing now. It didn't matter how much I did or did not want to know, the information was no longer mine to have. I wrote that letter to say goodbye, but it didn't make it any easier to face.
With a mental note to reimburse Rosmerta for all the stolen whiskey, I summoned another bottle. I would allow myself one more night of mourning the life I knew I would never get back. It was time to start a new life.
Tomorrow.
Tonight, I would wallow in the in-between. I would mourn for the knowledge my mother gave me. I would burn away the sting of knowing who my father is, how he came to be so. I would mourn the friendship I thought I had with Elliot. I would not mourn his death.
I would also not mourn for George, for the love we shared, because I knew it was not dead. Just paused. Put into a magically induced coma. We would heal by being apart.
So, tonight I would not mourn lost love, I would celebrate the arrival of new love. Because ready or not, I knew it was coming.
XXX
Ello lovely readers!
I wanted to get this out for the twins birthday but alas, two days belated isn't too bad. Neither is posting twice in two weeks, eh?
Anyway, I had been struggling with telling Emmaleena's story for some time. I'm still not sure how much will be revealed and when but I'm happy to give you this chapter.
Who knew who Andrella's father was all along?! It wasn't exactly supposed to be a secret, but I'd love to know everyone's reaction to the reveal.
Also...I might have a Spotify playlist for this story... let me know if you're interested in that and I'll post the link in the next chapter for y'all.
As always, all comments are appreciated. Until next time...
Ex's and Oh's
Audrey. V Sullivan.