She did the right thing. She had to. Like that time when her father returned with the news of her mother. Even though tears flooded her eyes, she didn't let them fall. Not that she could control her emotions better but her father beat her to it. That day, she watched her hero—the bravest man in her life—crumble before her.
So she told herself to never let that nightmare happen again.
At home, she took over the chores and cared for her cat. At school, she was the top of her class and even stepped up to lead. There were some downsides to her endeavor. She hardly made any friends in the Academy. That never bothered her. Whatever expedited her to becoming an investigator as early as possible, even a day, she would do it.
The Academy recognized her talent and so made an exception. She was allowed to order her first quinque for a study with Dr. Chigyou. She even joined the force half a year prior to her graduation, as a second-class investigator, working directly under Kishou Arima's supervision.
Her father was close to getting the Owl. While she was not experienced enough to fight with him, at least her research would help make him safe.
That was how naïve she was back then.
The cable snapped. The sky zoomed out. The red cargo container dove after her as she was free falling.
She did the right thing but it was too late.
Her widened eyes watched in horror, imagining the casualties she had brought over in that red box. Yet, there was nothing she could do to rectify it. No matter how hard she chased after time, it was always one step ahead of her.
She cracked a smile, accepting her fate. Perhaps it was for the best. After those years of fighting and losing too many, she was tired. Very tired.
She closed her eyes and disappeared into the billowing dust clouds.
Forgive me, Father.
"Iron poisoning? You sure you got it right?"
Listening to Hayashi, Yoshida rolled his eyes. That tone reminded Yoshida of those snobs from the First Ward, to the fact that he didn't even recognize his partner anymore.
"Read it yourself." The woman in a lab coat slapped the stapled papers onto Hayashi's chest, jolting him. "And don't ask for my help." She looked away and crossed her arms. "It isn't your case anymore."
"Come on, Nana! You know I don't mean it!" Hayashi glanced at his partner standing behind. "Say something, Yoshida!"
"Don't drag me in. You're the douche." In fact, Yoshida was more interested in a cage that was sitting on the workbench right next to Nana.
"Does anyone even care about a killer ghoul on the loose?"
Hayashi could whine all day, but Yoshida was no longer listening. He squinted into the cage, unwittingly drawing his face too close. Peering at him was the abyss of darkness. In the darkness first appeared a pair of round golden eyes. Along with a hiss, a furry face lunged at Yoshida, followed by lightning punches from a round paw.
The cage clattered.
"Yoshida! Enough playing with the cat!" Hayashi snapped before returning his focus to the report. "Her Rc factors are over the top."
Yoshida perked his ears. "I knew it! She's a ghoul—Ow!" He pressed a hand on his temple. "What the hell, Hayashi! You said it yourself."
Hayashi pulled back the folder in his hand. He had kept his patience for far too long. "People don't turn into a ghoul without a reason. This is just R.O.S. at most."
Nana chuckled. "Sorry, Yoshida." She arched her arm and tilted her head. "Cases of humans turning into ghouls are extremely rare, even if their Rc factors reach the level of a ghoul. They do manifest ghoul-like behavior but that's it."
Ghoul-like behavior. The inability to ingest regular food was just part of it. "Infection?" Hayashi asked Nana.
"Close." Nana went to Hayashi and turned a page in the report he was holding. "Her heart and gastrointestinal tracts were inflamed. Given the level of elemental iron in her system, those surging Rc cells probably saved her from multiple organ failure. Although, I'm amazed she could tolerate such a high level of Rc cells."
"I suppose it's good news that she hasn't developed any kagune-like growths."
"On the contrary. Unlike ghouls, humans lack Rc cell vessels that separate the Rc cells from the rest of the system. And without a Kakuhou, there is nothing to regulate and store those Rc cells that are highly unstable, which can tear down cells and tissues. If they agglomerate, they may cause a stroke or heart attack. Pseudo-kagune, though it sounds horrible, is one way our body gets rid of Rc cells. Without it, as in her case, the Rc storm exacerbated the inflammation, and thus the massive bleeding."
Yoshida watched the two debate. His head hurt. "You guys just lost me. Is she a ghoul or not?"
"No!" Hayashi and Nana said in unison.
Yoshida rolled his eyes.
"But how did she get poisoned? Food? Water? Injection?"
"Most likely ingested in the form of a pill like any other overdose case." Nana took a clipboard and flipped through the papers. "Lucky for you, they found these in the coat she left in her office." She then retrieved a marked ziplock from a rack and put it on the table. "Based on the tox screen, she might have ingested it within twenty-four hours before the date of the report."
"Thanks, Nana! Send me a softcopy when you have the full report." Hayashi waved his hand before tucking both into his pockets.
"Sorry I was trying to—" A man in a green scrub walked in, almost run into Hayashi.
Yoshida watched Hayashi shoot a glare at Nana. He didn't mind if they were outside. It could cost him and his partner their jobs if anything happened to those glasswares and expensive instruments.
"You're welcome." Waving the tail of her braid, Nana shaped her mouth at Hayashi and ended her message in a smirk.
That woman was out of her mind.
Yoshida cleared his throat. "Dr. Moriyama—"
"Kento." The man-in-scrub walked up to Hayashi. "Nagao, the doctor attending your vic, was my junior. Let me help you."
Yoshida saw Hayashi balled his fists so hard that they quivered. It reminded him of those days, when Hayashi was a fit investigator.
Even though those days were short.
Surprisingly, Hayashi unclenched his fists. He stepped up to Moriyama. That whiff of bleach and disinfectant reminded him of a voice and a face he wished not to remember. "I don't need your help." He looked the doctor in the eye before going around him towards the door. Facing the door, he wanted so much to shove the door and slam it shut, but—"Kazue… He missed his mother."
Moriyama turned to face Hayashi. "I'll let her know."
"Hayashi!" Yoshida watched his partner stormed out of the lab.
Hayashi opened his wallet, revealing a picture behind the rectangular plastic sheet. Kazue was only a year old, with a red bucket hat, and standing on Hayashi's knees with the latter's support. It was a struggle to get the baby to look at the camera but that shot went smoothly. The baby's grin was an exact copy of his parents'. Even today, that grin still brought a smile to Hayashi. That smile didn't hold when Hayashi's eyes wandered to the blonde sitting next to him in the picture. That was the last time he had seen her smile.
He wondered how they would turn out if Kazue hadn't fallen sick.
"Hey, Partner!"
Surprised, Hayashi snapped his wallet shut and slotted it into his back pocket.
Taking his time, Yoshida approached the man but kept a few feet distance. The room he provided gave Hayashi some dignity. "I've never said this before... but I can see that Little K is doing better because of you. Your son knows it too."
"She did nothing wrong. It's just the thought of her being happier with him pisses me off." Hayashi covered his face with both hands. "God, I'm so petty!"
"Hey, don't be hard on yourself! If I were in your shoes, I would have punched him in the face." Yoshida looked at his partner, watching the latter still had his face covered. "You cool man?"
Hayashi uncovered his face and let out a breath. "Yeah, what do you have there?"
Yoshida glanced down at the manila in his hands. His lips thinned before opened up. "Don't kill me, okay?" He walked up to Hayashi, who had his brow raised.
"From Moriyama?"
"I didn't solicit it! I swear! It was on my desk."
"Let me see." Hayashi thrust his hand out to Yoshida, who passed the folder to Hayashi on cue. He shuffled the papers and spread the photos across the bench. They were snapshots of bare shoulders, limbs, face, back, and chest. The skin was either swollen, bruised, or covered in sutures. "No bite mark? That's not… possible."
"Unless she wasn't attacked or the skin didn't break."
"The injury on her head was consistent with the sharp edge on the tea table. No signs of a defensive wound."
Yoshida rolled his eyes up and rested his chin on his knuckle. "Mado was sick when she was on her way back, met an accident, somehow found her way home, slipped and hit her head. The perp found her door unlocked, got in, maybe couldn't find anything to ransack so he left?" His eyes narrowed. His neck shrunk. "It didn't convince me either."
It might take another day before the full forensic report is out. The girl who was a suspected ghoul and nowhere to be found. The perp who came out of Mado's house was still at large. Worst, Mado was unconscious and her prognosis was poor. Sooner or later, Nakajima would find out what they were doing. Renegades never ended well.
Hayashi gathered and swept the papers and photos into the folder. The fire was on Wednesday. They found Mado on Friday. The tox screen was done on Saturday morning.
"We're leaving? Aren't you going to wait for the full report?"
"It won't come out any faster even if we wait here." Hayashi moved out. "We should go back to Ground Zero and stop by the neighborhood."
"But we were there twice." Yoshida jogged to Hayashi. "The whole branch cleared those areas!"
"Call me old school." Hayashi smirked. "I always believe in the third."
"Estimated hundred thousand protesters are gathering outside the Parliament against the equality bill which is passed today..."
"No, ma'am. We can't just take the ghouls into custody if they aren't imposing a threat. Did your neighbor attack anyone?" Nakajima pulled the handset away from his ear while pinching his eyes shut. The scream was still audible. He braced himself before sticking the handset back to his ear. "Sorry, ma'am. You can lodge a complaint if you wish. Have a good day." He heaved a sigh of relief when he hung up.
Loosening the tie while standing, he had a good view of the maze of desks. His eyes were as keen as a shepherd, and he noticed a couple of his sheep were missing. "Where are Hayashi and Yoshida?"
No one bothered to reply. Sure. His men were busy. He would be foolish if he were to think that they weren't Hayashi's accomplices.
"Chief. The Governor is on line one."
She opened her mouth. Her throat burned. Gasping for air, only to choke again.
Just how many times did she have to die?
"Akira."
The red and orange glow danced with the shadows. The smell of gasoline and charcoal was too pungent to ignore. Wherever she was, it was baking her alive.
"You'll be fine."
Fine? Enough with white lies! Just grant her a quick end and she would be forever indebted.
Somehow, fresh air filled her lungs. Through the shimmering air, a hood took shape then turned to her a face she hadn't seen in ages.
The eyes of the saint had lost their vigor. The once strong jawline receded to scrawny cheeks. Only the signature hook on each tail of his eyebrows was just as she remembered.
The forgotten throbs broke loose.
Was he real? Was she dreaming?
She reached out to him. His stubbles pricked her palm.
The inferno and his appearance. They wouldn't make any sense unless…
She died.
Her eyes welled up. It wasn't fair for him, but she was glad. There was nowhere else she would rather be.
Like how she was cupping his face now.
Brows raised. Eyes widened. Amon kept himself still, even held his breath.
Not that she minded. She could keep staring at that handsome face for a few more minutes. By the end of it, Amon would probably collapse due to asphyxiation.
Maybe she should go first—
"I'll get the doctor!" Amon sprang up. He didn't wait to finish his sentence before he turned away.
Akira closed her parted lips. Her eyes instinctively followed him as he went across the room until they could no longer follow him when the door slid shut.
"How… are you?" If only she had voiced it earlier.
Akira winced as she propped herself up. She turned the back of her hand where a white plaster patching it. A tube stuck out of her knuckle. In the fold of her elbow, patches of yellowish green dyed her skin. The same covered her other arm, only darker and purplish in tone. They were tender to touch.
She looked around. Two bags of fluid hanging high next to her bed, then at the dripping clear liquid below. Accompanying them were some machines that were not in use.
She faced forward, staring at the beige-colored curtain that bordered her bed. Her mind brooded over the scowl on Amon's face as he walked out that door.
She hunched her back and sighed. He looked so upset.
Amon didn't stop walking after he came out from the ward. He kept going until he came to an empty hallway.
It was over. It was finally over.
He took a deep breath and let it all out. As soon as he heard footsteps, he turned to the door on his right. He couldn't hold it anymore.
"Mr. Amon?"
Amon went rigid. His fists clenched so tight that they quivered. He knew he couldn't run away.
The nurse was at some distance from Amon. "Are you alright, Mr. Amon?" She made another step forward, gingerly.
Amon brought his arm up, using his blue sleeve to wipe his face. "I'm looking for Dr. Nagao." He turned to face the nurse.
The nurse glanced at her watch. "He's in the clinic. He'll make a round in half an hour." She frowned. "Is everything alright?"
"Yes… I think." Amon let out a breath. "She's awake." He smiled.
Amon was back at the door. He didn't know how long he'd been standing reflecting the life he had at the shelter.
The children were running to him. He scooped a handful of them up, as if they were plush toys. Day and night, the scream and laughter never ceased.
The corner of his lips curled but flattened immediately. Akira was missing in those memories.
There was no doubt that Akira had lived with them a couple of years before moving to Tokyo, but Amon just couldn't remember her presence.
Was his mind playing tricks on him? Or had he not paid attention?
Amon stepped back unwittingly. As he looked up, the door stood like a giant stone towering over him.
He had looked in the eyes of monsters and death. His legs that fearlessly charged ahead now refused to do his bidding.
He even picked up the Rosary—a long time since he left the orphanage. Such great lengths just to succumb to his nonsensical guilt? Especially now?
Don't make me wait too long.
Amon pinched his eyes shut. He gritted his teeth, and his fists clenched.
What was he thinking?!
With a fresh mind, he knocked on the door. "Akira? I'm coming in." He didn't wait to slide the door open.
"Akira?"
A peeled blanket and a crumpled sheet. The bed was empty, and no one else was in the room.
His heart pounded.
He snapped his head back and dashed out of the room. Looking left and right, his eyes locked into anyone in a pink gown.
There was a grey-haired woman turned into the hallway with a young man wheeling her from behind. A bald man holding onto the handrail while retching into a cardboard tray. There were more patients gathering at the common area. Mostly were the elderly, who had colorful cones strapped on their heads.
Amon didn't stop to learn more about the celebration. Instead, he jogged to the nurse station. He almost threw himself over the counter, startling the nurses on duty.
"Akira Mado!" Amon huffed. His pupils dilated. "Room six-one-three… Where is she?!"
The nurses glanced at each other, then faced Amon. "Mr. Amon, right?" The nurse with red hair asked.
"Yes." Amon saw her tag with the name, Watanabe.
"Did you see her nurse, Noguchi? She just went to check on her ten minutes ago."
Noguchi? That reminded him of a nurse who came in last night to remove the ventilator. "There's no one."
"That's strange." Watanabe walked around the counter and went to Amon. "Let me check."
Amon followed the nurse back to Akira's room. The door remained open when they went in.
"Why don't you have a seat, sir?"
Amon couldn't comprehend how the nurse remained calm. "Can you just help me find her?"
And they heard water flushing. The door to the bathroom snapped open.
"Careful now." A nurse came after the blonde, gently pushing the infusion stand.
"Amon?" Akira stopped when she saw him.
"Ms. Mado! Your fiancé was so worried that you were missing," said Watanabe.
The same spell struck Amon again. He heard her calling him but he couldn't move.
Her face lost its colors. Not even the red sun could bring a tint of blush on it. Those bruises on her neck and arms. That two inches long zipper band-aid above her right brow…
His heart sank. Why did it have to be her?
"Amon?" Akira looked up as his shadow rose on her. Her eyes widened in the darkness. Her body that went stiff instinctively finally waned in his gentle embrace, melting in his warmth.
Her arms crept around his waist. Both hands grabbing his cardigan. Her ear to his chest. Listening to his heartbeat calmed her.
She had missed him. His scent. The feel of his arms that wrapped about her. She had missed all of him so much.
It was quiet again. They didn't even realize when the nurses left.
"Fiancé?"
His muscles twitched. "I can explain!"
The victory was hers. Even with her eyes closed, Akira could picture his nervous face.
"First you impersonated my husband, and now my fiancé. Koutarou Amon, do I even know you?" Evil she might be. The temptation was just too great to resist. It was fun to get Amon wrung his brain as he tried his best to justify his actions.
Akira didn't understand why he couldn't just shrug it off. If he did, he wouldn't be as amusing as he was, would he?
Amon kept mum. Maybe she broke him. But no matter how she cornered him, Amon never retaliated. That was the man she loved. Unbearably kind and silly.
"Sorry, Amon. I've made you worried." Like a guilty child, she apologized. She couldn't imagine the ordeal she had put him through.
"It's alright." Breathing out, he rubbed her back. "These days let me think about…" Amon's mind went to his side pocket. "Akira, have you considered what I've said last time?"
That reminded her the decision he asked her to make. In fact, she had some very important news to tell him.
The arms around Amon slipped, and he dropped to his knees. "Akira!" Letting her chin rest on his shoulder, he held the limped woman dearly. "Akira!"
Her eyes were so heavy. "Amon… I…aveee…qui…" She told him the news. At least that was what she thought she did.