Dearest Twilight Sparkle and Sister,
I have read both of thy letters, and I would offer thee my deepest sympathies—were I not ensnared within mine own waking nightmare. Celestia, Twilight… I am trapped within a McDonald's. And I do not believe it is of this world.
At first, I merely stopped for sustenance—a simple hayburger, perhaps some fries. But the moment I crossed the threshold, I knew something was amiss. The lighting flickers erratically, casting unnatural shadows that shift and skitter when I am not looking directly upon them. The menu boards glitch and flash, displaying cryptic symbols in between garbled images of food items that no longer exist. I approached the counter to place my order, but the cashier—whom I suspect has been here for centuries—merely stared through me with vacant, soulless eyes before muttering in a monotone voice, "Ice cream machine is broken." I had not asked about the ice cream machine.
The food I received… Twilight, I do not wish to describe it in detail, lest it haunt thy dreams as it now haunts mine. The fries were either ancient relics from a forgotten age or fresh from the fryer, yet soggy beyond reason. My drink cup dripped with some manner of viscous slime that should not be found in any beverage known to ponykind. And the burger—oh, Harmony preserve me—the burger was cold yet steaming, its bun both stale and damp, as if it had been stored within a crypt.
The play area, which I mistakenly entered in search of an exit, is a forsaken place. The tubes twist in unnatural ways, forming loops and spirals that defy geometry itself. I heard something moving within them. I dared not investigate further. The ball pit… Twilight, there was no bottom.
I have attempted to leave, but each time I step toward the door, I find myself once more at the counter, the cashier staring at me, unmoving, her gaze piercing my very soul. I fear I may be claimed by this place. I do not know how long I have been here—minutes? Hours? Years? Time holds no meaning within these walls. The eternal beeping of the fryer, the ceaseless hum of the broken soda fountain… I am becoming one with the McDonald's.
If thou dost receive this letter, know that I have tried to warn thee. Should I not return, do not seek me. Do not enter the McDonald's. It does not let its captives go.
Farewell, Twilight. Farewell, Sister. May Harmony have mercy on us all.
Princess Luna