Chapter 17: Remember Me
As the doors to the train opened and the passengers were slowly let out, one man in particular turned the collar of his coat up as high as it would go to obscure his admittedly large face. Normally he would bask in the star-struck adoration of fans when they were surprised by his sudden appearance, but now was not the time for that. He made no grand entrance, had no entourage, not even an assistant with him. Ernesto needed to get to the Rivera complex as quietly and as quickly as possible.
He peered around the crowd in the small train station before he spotted the man he was looking for: Héctor's neighbor Facundo. He was to drive him discreetly to the Rivera's, as Héctor and he had agreed over the telephone. Ernesto walked up to the short, stout man with a nod. "Facundo."
"Ernesto." Facundo nodded back. "Do you have any bags?"
"Just some clothes in this suitcase." Ernesto said as he lifted the small case up for him to see. "So we don't need to hang around. I just want to get there as soon as possible."
"Sí." Facundo said as they started walking. "It is good of you to come, Ernesto. These last few weeks have been very hard on all of them."
Ernesto didn't say anything at that, and he didn't complain as he was forced to cram himself into the passenger seat of Facundo's small Volvo truck. They drove the way there in silence, but it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. Neither of them felt like talking. What was there to talk about? This was not a cheerful moment for either of them, so there was no use to talk about the weather, goings on in the town, or even about Ernesto himself: his favorite topic! No, right now all the mattered was that Ernesto needed to be there for his little brother as his daughter was about to die.
He just hoped he made it in time.
Facundo drove up to the green double doors of the Rivera house and let Ernesto out. He gave his thanks and waved goodbye as the truck drove off and rounded the corner, not questioning why Facundo didn't come in with him. This was a family matter after all, and while it warmed Ernesto's heart that he was considered part of the family there was a sharp pain there too. But he would have to endure it because he knew that his pain was nothing compared to Héctor's.
He pushed open the green doors and walked into the barren courtyard. The shop was quiet and empty, not surprising considering. Ernesto wondered how long the shop would remain closed while the family privately grieved. The workers would still get paid though, Héctor had told him, so that was good. He headed to Héctor and Imelda's bedroom and gently knocked on the door. It opened to reveal one of Imelda's brothers, his eyes red shot and swollen, and he sagged in relief when he saw Ernesto.
"Oh, Ernesto." He whispered. "Gracias a Dios. You made it just in time!"
"Gracias… Felipe?" At the younger man's nod Ernesto chuckled a little to himself. 'I'm good at this!' he thought. He walked into the room and his heart broke at what he saw. Oscar was standing at the foot of the bed with his hands on Matty's shoulders. He couldn't see the boy's face but his stiff shoulders were enough to show that he was very distressed. Standing off to the side was Dr. Alviso, with his bag set on the bedside table as he put away a bottle of morphine and an injection case. Coco was sitting in a chair next to her mother, rubbing her eyes with a handkerchief and sniffling with her face of pure misery.
On the bed sat Héctor, holding Leti in his arms as she sat between his legs and laid against his chest, his chin rested on top of her head as he slowly rocked. Imelda sat in a chair closest to the bed and had her healthy tan fingers intertwined with Leti's blue ones. When she saw Ernesto she leaned over and whispered in her daughter's ear. "Mija, Tio Nesto is here. He came to see you."
Leti's eyes fluttered a little and from what Ernesto could tell the poor girl couldn't focus on anything. Her breathing was erratic and weak, but she managed to get in enough air to say. "Grassss… Fan… eeee."
Despite his best efforts Ernesto couldn't tell what Leti was saying. Luckily Imelda was able to decipher it. "She said 'Gracias for Frangipani.'"
Ernesto blinked and then let out a chuckle. "Ah yes, Frangipani. I'm glad you enjoyed her visit, niña. Only the best for my godchildren." He had hoped that this would earn him one of Leti's beautiful smiles, but instead she just gasped for breath and closed her eyes again.
Héctor didn't look up when Ernesto had entered the room, or even when he had spoken to his daughter. Nothing registered in his mind except for the child in his arms as she drew in her last breaths. When they had finally gotten back to Santa Cecilia a few weeks ago they had had a grand celebration to make up for all the time lost. A large feast had been prepared, Facundo and his family had been invited over as well as a few of Leti's friends, and they celebrated well into the night. Leti was finally happy again and she had relished sleeping in her own bed and being with her family again. Slowly but surely though her strength faded into nothing, and now all that was left to do was wait for the inevitable.
"Pa…"
The faint whisper was enough to jerk Héctor back into reality as he looked down at Leti. "Yes, mija. I'm here."
Leti gasped a few times before saying, "Can… ta…."
Héctor's eyes widened. "You want a song? Sure! Okay, uh-" He looked over to the side of the bedroom where his white guitar hung on the pegs bolted to the wall, then back down to his daughter. Well, maybe he could sing without playing the instrument. It was when Ernesto walked over to the wall that Héctor finally noticed his presence.
"You keep holding onto her, Héctor." Ernesto said as he brought the guitar down from its perch and began to tune it. "I'll provide the accompaniment."
Héctor nodded at Ernesto gratefully before bending down to whisper to Leti. "Any requests?"
At first it didn't seem that Leti heard or was unable to communicate anymore, until she was able to barely tremble out the beginning of a word. "Rrrr… Re… R…"
"Remember Me?" Coco asked.
The fact that Leti stopped trying to say the word was the sign that meant that Coco had guessed correctly. Ernesto hadn't heard that song sung in years, but he could definitely still play it. It was the best song Héctor ever wrote in his opinion, a lullaby he had written for Coco when he was still touring with him so that she wouldn't miss her father as much. How he had yearned to sing that on stage to the adoring crowds, but Héctor was adamant that the song was only for his children, and he was fine with that. He had written him dozens of other masterpieces anyway. Ernesto strummed out the first gentle notes of the song and Héctor began to sing.
Remember me
Though I have to say goodbye
Remember me
Don't let it make you cry
For even if I'm far away I hold you in my heart
I sing a secret song to you each night we are apart
It was at that moment when Imelda and Coco joined Héctor in the song, Imelda's smooth alto and Coco's sweet soprano harmonizing beautifully with Héctor's tenor. It was only natural then that Ernesto would provide the bass. Oscar, Felipe, Matty and Dr. Alviso watched as the four talented singers gently sang the lullaby, as if performing to a crowd of thousands as opposed to one little girl.
Remember me
Though I have to travel far
Remember me
Each time you hear a sad guitar
Know that I'm with you the only way that I can be
Until you're in my arms again
Remember me…
When the song was finished Leti was still with them, her erratic gasps the only sign that she was. So Ernesto continued to strum the guitar and Héctor continued to sing all of her favorite songs until it finally happened. A soft sound came from Leti, a gentle breeze of a sigh, and then she was still. Dr. Alviso came over to her and placed his fingers on her throat, and with a slight shake of his head everyone knew that she was finally gone. He stepped back against the wall to let the family grieve.
Héctor held Leti in a tight embrace as he brokenly wept and kissed her on the head. Coco collapsed into Imelda's arms and they both cried clinging to each other, with Felipe kneeling down to hug them both as he too cried. Oscar curled slightly in on himself as he let out a sob, his hands still protectively on Matty's shoulders. As tears welled up in his own eyes, Ernesto noticed that the only person not crying was Matty himself. He just looked at his twin sister with a horrified expression, his eyes opened wide and his mouth slightly parted. Ernesto knew that look all too well. Something inside the boy had been shattered and broken beyond repair.
For two days Leti lay in her bedroom, a light cloth draped over her still form and candles around her as friends came from all over town to pray and pay their respects. Food was shared as well of stories of some of Leti's most wild antics, such as when she had wandered into a cantina when she was four years old and happily sang songs with all of the drunken men inside. Or the time she and Matty won the annual kickball tournament because they had snuck out at night to practice going through the obstacle course. Everyone agreed that she was a wild one but a sweet one, gone too soon from this Earth.
But now the traditional vigil had ended and it was time to take Leti to the cemetery. Ernesto had ordered and bought the coffin himself as his own form of tribute to his goddaughter, polished and bright cherry wood with golden handles on either side. Héctor and Ernesto watched as Imelda and Coco placed bundles of clothes and toys into the coffin next to Leti.
"Thank you for the coffin, Ernesto." Héctor said quietly as he watched with sunken eyes. "It is beautiful."
"I wish I could say 'my pleasure', but…" Ernesto sighed and turned a critical eye on the coffin itself. "I'm sorry if the wood is too bright a color. Too cheery for the occasion. I just thought it would fit well with Leti-"
"It's perfect." Héctor said, cutting him off. As Imelda and Coco finished he walked over to the coffin and looked at his daughter's face one last time. Decay hadn't set in just yet, but her features had already taken a sunken in appearance, especially around the eyes and mouth. Still he was waiting for one of those eyes to wink open and a toothy grin to split her face. It was so unnatural to see Leti this still. With a heavy sigh he took the lid to the coffin and set it on top, closing him off from seeing her ever again for the rest of his life. "Let's go."
Héctor and Ernesto took the front handles of the coffin on either side, Oscar and Felipe taking the ones in the rear, and they made their way out of the Rivera complex and down the road. Imelda followed behind them with one hand on Coco's shoulder and the other on Matty's, with a black veil draping down over her face. All of them were adorned in black, save for some splash of color on the men, for they wore ties in the beautiful shade of lilac: Leti's favorite color. Mourners followed the family close by as they trekked down the streets of Santa Cecilia and towards the cemetery.
It wasn't a long walk and the coffin was very light, but it still took everything the four men had to walk perfectly and in unison, Dios forbid that they would even manage to trip or falter. Finally they made it to the raised cement slab that would be Leti's final resting place. The headstone was adorned with carved flowers and a cross, and the words were etched into it with gold:
Leticia Rivera
Sept 3, 1922 – Jan 5, 1931
Beloved sister, niece and daughter
We will always remember you
The Padre recited sermons and said some comforting words, flowers were thrown onto the coffin, and the heavy stone slab was placed over the crypt. It was over. Leti was well and truly gone. All that they had left of her were the wonderful memories that she had given them, and it would never be enough.
They had all gathered back at the Rivera house for some pan dulce and coffee, everyone talking about what a beautiful ceremony it was and how sorry they were for the family. Coco had found solace with her friend Rosita by her side, leaning on her shoulders as Rosita rubbed her back and spoke sweet words to her. She even managed a little smile at Julio as he came over to pay respects. Imelda played hostess for all of the guests, making sure that they would have plenty of food and drink. She had been in this mode for nearly three days now and Héctor was sure that later tonight she would finally allow herself to collapse and grieve properly.
Héctor sat on the edge of the well next to Ernesto as they both held cooling cups of coffee and sat in silence. Héctor finally broke it though. "Ernesto?"
"Sí?" Ernesto said.
"You know-…" Héctor gulped a little before continuing, "Leti always used to ask me why, out of all the songs I had written, I never let Remember Me get recorded. I told her that it was a special song for just my children, not for the world. She never seemed to get it."
"I see." Ernesto said.
"But now whenever I think about that song, all I can think about is holding my dying child in my arms." Héctor shuddered and took a drink from his cup, wincing at its coldness. "I don't want that Ernesto. I want it to bring good memories back, not just for me, but for everyone. That's why, in honor of Leti, I-… I want you to sing it Ernesto. For the world."
Ernesto's eyes bulged and he looked at Héctor in disbelief. Despite all of their success Ernesto was sure that Remember Me would solidify them in music history for sure. But it was his own personal shame that forced down any ambitions he had towards the song, so he kept his mouth shut and just accepted the other songs Héctor had offered. Now he was getting his permission? "Héctor, I-I don't know what to say."
"It's better if you sing it Ernesto. I-" Héctor lowered his eyes to the ground. "I don't think I'll ever sing it again. I don't want to. It's just too painful."
Ernesto sighed and twirled his coffee cup around. "Look, how about I tweak it a little bit? Maybe bump up the tempo, make it a real showstopper like I said so when I first heard it. Just-… You keep the original version for yourself. Who knows, maybe somewhere down the road you'll change your mind?" He watched as Héctor slowly nodded and gently patted him on the back. "Good man. I'll get the arrangements all sorted out once I finish the movie. We'll make Leti proud."
"Señor de la Cruz?! Señor de la Cruz?!" A little boy came barreling over to where they were sitting, panting out of breath. Ernesto was about to shoo what he thought was a tactless fan away before a piece of paper was thrust into his face. "Urgent telegram for you Señor de la Cruz!"
"Oh. Uh, gracias niño." Ernesto said as he took the telegram and gave the boy a peso in exchange. He quickly scanned over it and his brow furrowed in confusion before he sputtered in disbelief. "What the-?! How?! Why?!"
"What's wrong Ernesto?" Héctor asked.
Ernesto leapt from his seated position and glared down at the telegram. "How the hell does one lose an elephant in Mexico?!"
Matty stayed behind in the cemetery as the rest of the family went back to the house, save for Tio Oscar who had graciously offered to stay and watch over his nephew while he privately grieved. Matty glanced back at his uncle, who was leaning against the gateway and waved back at him, before turning back to look at the gravestone of his sister. His eyes burned as pent up tears threatened to burst out of his eyes, but for some reason they refused to fall.
He found himself unable to cry when Leti finally took her last breath, nor when she lay in vigil on her bed. Not even when she was finally in the ground could he even spare one tear for her. He wished he could, because he had never experienced such crushing, such soul sucking pain than he was feeling right now. This hurt more than any broken bone or miserable fever that he had endured in the past, and he had cried during those times. Why couldn't he now? As he traced the golden lettering of Leti's name he had never felt so empty in his life. Leti had taken every good emotion that he had with her, leaving him only despair.
'Just wanted to keep him company. It was bad enough he was sad… Didn't want him to be alone too.'
Matty sighed. "Well now I'm sad and alone…" He sniffled a little, but those burning tears still refused to flow. "What am I gonna do now, Leti? I can't do this without you!"