So... decided that this fic needs some stats for tabletop, for reasons. Allow me to present to you the datasheet for a squad of USA troopers and the Liberator, in what I hope is the start of a Cainite Protectorate codex.
FAIR WARNING: In keeping with the general tone of CC:WoC, this army and every single unit in it will be intentionally written as a blatantly unbalanced Game-Breaker that will wipe the walls with any comparable unit another army can field while being stupidly, unbelievably cheap to field. For example, the USA Guardsmen will wildly outperform Tempestus Scions in almost every possible way while costing roughly 99.09% less points (a unit with 10 models costs 1 point to field, to be exact), and Ciaphas Cain himself is literally impossible to kill and can one-shot a Warlord Titan despite costing a dirt-cheap 100 points to field. The point of this army is to have fun massacring other armies with it and have the owners of said armies laughing their pants off over how hilariously overpowered the army you brought is; if they don't want to do that with you, respect that and bring another, more balanced army next time, or maybe handicap yourself and see if you can use 100 points to beat a 1000 point army with the Cainite Protectorate stats.
Anyway, onto the datasheets:

USA Guardsmen
The backbone of the USA's forces, these Khrone-worshipping warriors combine the raw numbers of ordinary Guardsmen with the elite training and superior equipment of Tempestus Scions, on top of having all the usual benefits of Khrone's favor and none of the drawbacks. It's little wonder why they're such an overwhelmingly effective fighting force.
| M: 6" | T: 4 | Sv.: 3+ | W: 1 | Ld: 6+ | OC: 3 |
RANGED WEAPONS
Burst-fire bolt pistol [PISTOL] | R: 12" | A: 3 | BS: 3+ | S: 4 | AP: -1 | D: 3
Narrow-stream flamer [IGNORES COVER, TORRENT] | R: 12" | A: D3+3 | BS: N/A | S: 4 | AP: 0 | D: 1
Grenade launcher – frag [BLAST] | R: 24" | A: 3D6 | BS: 3+ | S: 4 | AP: 0 | D: 2
Grenade launcher – krak | R: 24" | A: 1 | BS: 3+ | S: 9 | AP: -3 | D: 3
BORG lasgun [RAPID FIRE 3] | R: 24" | A: 3 | BS: 3+ | S: 4 | AP: -1 | D: 2
BORG laspistol [PISTOL] | R: 12" | A: 3 | BS: 3+ | S: 4 | AP: -1 | D: 2
BORG lassniper [PERCISION, HEAVY] | R: 60" | A: 3 | BS: 2+ | S: 4 | AP: -5 | D: 5
BORG volley gun [RAPID FIRE 10] | R: 36" | A: 10 | BS: 3+ | S: 5 | AP: -1 | D: 2
BORG Meltagun [MELTA 3] | R: 24" | A: 1 | BS: 3+ | S: 10 | AP: -6 | D: D3+3
BORG Plasma gun [RAPID FIRE 3] | R: 24" | A: 3 | BS: 3+ | S: 8 | AP: -4 | D: 3
BORG Plasma pistol [PISTOL] | R: 12" | A: 3 | BS: 3+ | S: 8 | AP: -4 | D: 3
MELEE WEAPONS
Chainsword | R: Melee | A: 4 | WS: 3+ | S: 3 | AP: -1 | D: 2
Close Combat Weapon | R: Melee | A: 2 | WS: 3+ | S: 3 | AP: -1 | D: 2
Power Fist | R: Melee | A: 2 | WS: 3+ | S: 10 | AP: -3 | D: 3
Power Weapon | R: Melee | A: 4 | WS: 3+ | S: 5 | AP: -3 | D: 2
WARGEAR OPTIONS
For every 10 models in this unit, up to 3 Cainite Guardsmen can each have their BORG lasgun replaced with one of the following:* 1 narrow-stream flamer 1 grenade launcher 1 BORG volley gun 1 BORG meltagun 1 BORG plasma gun 1 BORG lassniper 1 Cainite Guardsmen equipped with a BORG lasgun can be equipped with 1 ansible (that model's lasgun cannot be replaced). 1 Cainite Guardsmen's BORG lasgun can be replaced with 1 BORG laspistol and 1 Panacea Injector. Any number of Cainite Sergeants may have their chainsword replaced with one of the following: 1 power fist 1 power weapon Any number of Cainite Sergeants may have their BORG laspistol replaced with one of the following: 1 burst-fire bolt pistol 1 plasma pistol * You cannot select the same weapon from this list more than once per unit, unless this unit contains 10 models, in which case you cannot select the same weapon more than twice per unit.
ABILITIES
Superior Training: Every time this model fails an Advance roll, Battle-shock test, Charge roll, Damage roll, Hit roll, Saving throw, or Wound roll, it may reroll the die or dice once.
For the Liberator!: At the end of your Command phase, if this unit is within range of an objective marker you control, that objective marker remains under your control, even if you have no models within range of it, until your opponent controls it at the start or end of any turn.
WARGEAR ABILITIES
Ansible: Each time you target the bearer's unit with a Stratagem, you gain 1CP.
Panacea Injector: At the start of your Command phase, if the bearer's unit is below its Starting Strength, you can return up to three destroyed models.
UNIT COMPOSITION
1 Cainite Sergeant and 9 Cainite Troopers 2 Cainite Sergeants and 18 Cainite Troopers Every Cainite Sergeant is equipped with: BORG laspistol; chainsword.
Every Cainite Trooper is equipped with: BORG lasgun; close combat weapon.
10 Models: 1 point
20 Models: 2 points
KEYWORDS
INFANTRY, BATTLELINE, GRENADES, CHAOS, TRAITOR GUARDSMEN SQUAD
FACTION KEYWORDS
CAINITE PROTECTORATE

Ciaphas Cain, Warmaster of Chaos
The Liberator himself, in the flesh. He is a master swordsman skilled enough to curbstomp a primarch in a matter of seconds, a gifted leader that can turn the tide of even the most woefully one-sided battle, and is possessed of enough improbable luck to survive a brush with anything he can't outright annihilate. And let's be honest here; the only person he's fooling when he tries to claim otherwise is himself.
| M: 6" | T: 3 | Sv.: 4+ (Inv. Sv.: 2+) | W: 3 | Ld: 1+ | OC: 1 |
RANGED WEAPONS
Cain's bolt pistol [DEVASTATING WOUNDS, LETHAL HITS] | R: 60" | A: 1 | BS: 1+ | S: 5 | AP: -6 | D: 100
MELEE WEAPONS
Cain's chainsword [DEVASTATING WOUNDS, LETHAL HITS] | R: Melee | A: 20 | BS: 1+ | S: 5 | AP: -6 | D: 100
WARGEAR OPTIONS
None.
ABILITIES
Unbeatable Warrior: Every time this unit shoots or fights, it always hits with every attack it makes, always scores critical hits with every attack, and those attacks always inflict the listed damage, irregardless of any rules or abilities that state otherwise.
Improbable Luck: Every time this model is destroyed, immediately set this model back up on the battlefield within 9" of where it was destroyed and not within Engagement Range of any enemy models, with all wounds remaining. If you are unable to do so due to the placement of enemy models, destroy one enemy model of your choice at a time until you can do so. This model can never be counted as destroyed during final scoring.
Warmaster of Chaos: As long as this unit is on the battlefield, all units on the field automatically succeed at all Leadership tests and cannot become Battle-Shocked. In addition, if this model is on the field during your opponent's Battle-Shock phase, then all enemy models on the field must take a battle-shock test, even if they are above half-strength.
Peerless Strategist: As long as this unit is on the battlefield, all stratagems cost 0 CP.
UNIT COMPOSITION
1 Ciaphas Cain - EPIC HERO
Ciaphas Cain is equipped with; Cain's bolt pistol, Cain's chainsword
1 Model: 100 points.
HERO OF THE LIBERATION!
If this model is in your army, it must be your Warlord.
KEYWORDS
INFANTRY, BATTLELINE, GRENADES, CHAOS, TRAITOR GUARDSMEN SQUAD
FACTION KEYWORDS
CAINITE PROTECTORATE

Edit: If you want to type up additional datasheets for units to add to this codex, feel free to contribute. My only demand is that such units be as broken as these (I.E. very powerful and stupidly cheap, OR outright engines of annihilation and destruction while being marginally less cheap than the latter type.)