Chapter Eight – Somewhere in an East Blue District Apartment (with a Pirate)
Nami has always been a left-brain thinker – logic, cold hard facts and realism has always been her forte. Aside from the occasional occurrences where her heart feels entitled to butt in, Nami's strict and structured way of thinking has long been the guide for her thoughts and actions. In being a woman of logic, Nami has always automatically deduced the consequences of her actions, weighed them up against each other and opts for the most reasonable and beneficial route. In theory, an absolute, faultless system; until a virus called 'UNPREDICTABILITY' infects it, subsequently causes all stations to undergo an inevitable shut down and renders the operator's output to be nothing more than complete, utter silence.
Nami had never placed a face to the 'UNPREDICTABILITY' virus until she met Monkey D. Luffy.
Sustenance. Food. Clear-thinking. Need food. The silence is finally broken when Nami's fingers collide with the surface of her kitchen table. Blinking, she looks down at the empty space in front of her with only a few crumbs to even suggest a cookie had once been there. Opposite her, Luffy tries and fails to subtly chew his chocolate-covered prize.
"… Did you just steal my only cookie?"
"Waiting makes me hungry," Luffy says around the mouthful of cookie.
"You ate the whole packet, damn you! AND the chips!"
"Don't worry, Sanji'll have lots of food!" Luffy laughs, brushing off her complaint, "Especially when he hears we're bringing you! He'll probably even make dessert! Ah, after getting Gramps off our back, though."
"I never said yes," Nami points out, frowning, mildly annoyed with his consistent habit of assuming her responses for her and ignoring her apparent lack of enthusiasm for the idea.
"Well, come on! It'll be fun," Luffy pleads, leaning forward to wrap his arms around the back of the chair as he bounces up onto his knees, "Promise."
Promise? The memory hits her unawares and Nami's head spins, both trying to contain and rid of the memory that stabs every other thought in her mind like a parasite until it remains there without any chance of ignoring it. It comes in flashes, with each portion followed by an attempt to fend off the next.
"I promise." (Think of something else!)
Her voice whispers— (Anything!)
The sincerity dripping from each syllable— (Something!)
To stain the floor in red. (I can't remember…)
Drip, drip, drop… (I was so scared—)
"I don't want to." The words escape Nami so quietly and lowly, the blinking boy opposite her leans forward with an "Hm?"
"I said I don't want to," Nami lifts her eyes and snaps, so coldly, she immediately becomes conscious of what she is doing. She doesn't stop. He's a Pirate, he can take it, and the thought nastily culminates in her brain and remains there, fuelling her momentum and anger, feeding other similar thoughts. He's a Pirate, as if Pirates can say shit about promises (if a police officer can't—) I never wanted to become this involved with him so why does he keep coming back?
"Go by yourself. I'm not interested." She stands up hastily, the chair screeching loudly against the floor, and collects the cups, dumping them in the sink for later. Her head is ducked the whole time, her jaw clenched unconsciously. When she emerges, the boy still sits there, unbelievably, seeming to have not moved at all.
"What?" she says, letting acid drip from her tone, "If you have nothing else to say then—"
"What?" the Pirate retorts. For the first time, Nami sees his expression darken, his eyes narrow and his eyebrows bend into an angry (no, frustrated) glare, "What is it now?"
If the last word had been left out, the exchange might have ended then and there had Nami stormed out, her tendency to keep her secrets and pride intact taking precedence over arguing. With its inclusion, Nami feels obliged to argue back, fiercely, with the goal of winning and inflicting damage.
"What is it now?" Nami repeats lowly, her voice reverberating against the walls ominously before rising in volume, "What is it now, Luffy? How about what's your damn problem with not being able to accept the word 'NO' or the fact that someone is clearly uncomfortable? That's my problem now."
"I just don't understand you at all!" Luffy argues, loudly, "What the hell is your problem?"
"I JUST SAID—"
"Not that problem! The problem where you are acting so weird! It's confusing! One minute, you seem like a good and funny person and then something happens and you change and want everyone to go away and I don't understand why!" he takes a breath, during which Nami can't think of a single substantial thing to say, "You introduced yourself to us—"
"After you couldn't just leave me be—"
"AND you agreed to the bet—"
"THAT you knew you were going to win from the start—"
"How do you know about that?" Luffy's face suddenly turns flabbergasted, his eyes bulging and his tone incredulous as if he'd just been caught out in a crime.
"THE LUNCH LADY TOLD ME!" Nami yells anyway, hearing the ridiculous statement bounce and echo in her home and not entirely knowing why.
"You said you weren't going to back down! If you didn't want to meet us, you could have said something then instead of promising something like that!"
Promise, promise, promise, Nami, Nojiko…
Opposite her, the boy who had stood up sometime during the argument shook like Nami had never seen him before. She could see his entire frame lift and fall with each breath, the same glaring expression on his face never relented then nor now and never drops her gaze. The time for any apologies, retorts or anything comes and goes, quietly, for Nami never says another word. She herself, never shakes once during the argument, never pants once or breathes any faster or slower, unlike the boy opposite her, who looks increasingly exhausted. It reminds her of the run on the oval or after crossing the greenhouse for the first time when their roles had been reversed; when Luffy was completely within his element and Nami had struggled to keep up with him. How it's changed… from then. Only she feels no satisfaction, only a hollow, deflated sense of emptiness.
"I never promised," Nami says instead. The fight has left her and only a heavy feeling of sluggishness and 'nothing' (not happiness, not anger, not sadness, not regret or guilt) fills her, "Not in those words, I never…" It doesn't feel right to apologise and Nami is not sure she would mean it, same as telling the boy to leave. A small, prideful part of her also doesn't want to believe the accusations he said are true. Did she… ever tell him specifically to go away? To leave her alone? She is sure she hasn't… maybe. Maybe her actions could be interpreted as nothing more than 'fuck off' rather than what she actually wanted: keep safe distance… but don't leave.
Is that what I want?
Her silence has lasted too long without any words to fit in it; no words that fit right. The words only pass through her mind, in and out, around and around without direction, without use or purpose. Luffy you don't understand. I can't make you understand. You couldn't understand. Not you.
"Lu—" she finally mouths. Her lips barely move and certainly not enough for the boy to see, her voice not loud enough or existing enough for him to hear.
"Screw it! I don't care. Suit yourself," Luffy's eyes are dark and hard when they meet hers across the small, small, room. He drops his gaze first, the curve of his hat shadowing the upper half of his face as he abruptly lurches forward, so quickly compared to the stony stillness of both figures just five minutes before. The subtle gust of cold wind from outside brushes Nami's arm ever so slightly when the door is wrenched open and ceases when the door is closed once more with an audible 'bang' as the Pirate walks farther, farther, farther away.
It's safe now. You can stop, Nami thinks dully unsure of whether she is addressing herself or the boy. She slumps down on the ground where she stands, folding long legs underneath herself to support her still, still body.
The Pirate, of course, doesn't return. He keeps moving where the thief has stopped completely. Eventually, the latter picks herself up but by then, it is long too late.
The fight itself has little impact on Nami, after the initial argument. She has only known him a week. She didn't think it possible for two people to have enough of a foundation to fight upon after a week but she doesn't dwell on that fact, nor the eventual conclusion that she was the one who started it. The argument, in a word, was useless. In another, ineffective. What was the point of an argument where two people do not even know where to jab the most vulnerable part of the other? Again and again, Nami replays the exact words of the argument and the exact tones in which they were said in her mind, trying to find some rational point in the entire thing, and after that, where things could have gone differently to achieve it. Until she realised there really wasn't a point, besides wanting to push the Pirate away just far enough, but not completely, to keep herself (and him?) safe.
Not to go away… Just… the original impression of the Pirate infiltrates her head in the form of a bloodhound puppy and despite everything, it makes Nami smile, just a little bit, as she tackles the forgotten Biology homework at her desk in her room.
Just, "stay, and don't move," Nami whispers to herself. Stay, don't move and wait for me.
"So what's up with you?" the rustle of plastic bags, the thump of shoes being kicked off against the wall and the jingle of keys being tossed on the bench precede the presence of Nojiko appearing in her bedroom doorway and her question. Nami swivels around in her chair, pen in hand and notes the plastic take-out containers in the noisy plastic bag.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome but answer the question."
"I don't understand."
At that, Nojiko places the bag calmly on the ground and strides shamelessly into her room, jabbing one finger at the clutter on the desk, "This, homework. Since when do you have to desperately catch up the night before?"
"I forgot about it," Nami brushes off, swatting her hand away, "I'm still settling in."
"Right," Nojiko snorts to subtly convey her true words of 'I-have-a-finely-tuned-bullshit-detector-and-you-my-friend-need-to-stop-Pinocchio-ing-me', "Do you have something on your mind?"
"Actually, according to this fun little diagram, I have a bunch of little people running around in my brain, putting words on conveyor belts for me and controlling me to make sure I can walk straight."
Nojiko laughs, "Oh yeah, I remember that. Good times." She straightens herself and taps Nami on top of her head, putting her other hand in front of her mouth, miming a walkie-talkie or radio device, complete with sound effects.
"Little Namis. Come in, Little Namis. I need you to control my sister and make her walk straight to the dinner table so we can eat dinner."
"Alright, alright!" Nami laughs, leaning out of reach of her sister's incessant tapping ("Sorry, I'm not getting a signal, your head's too thick!" "Stop it!"), "I'm coming, alright?"
Little things could coax Nami out of the room more effectively than tangerine chicken. Spearing a piece on her fork, she happily proceeds to scrape half the portion onto her plate as Nojiko comments, "I noticed when you avoided my question, you know – and hey, leave some for the rest of us!"
"Sorry."
"Geez," Nojiko smiles, taking the container and dumping out the rest on her plate, "Now, tell me the truth. Something happened, right?"
Nami busies herself with chewing her chicken and taking a sip of water, "Nothing much."
Here, Nami can tell Nojiko tries her best to sound nonchalant, and to avoid looking at the now near invisible bruises on Nami's arm, "Did… they—"
"Nothing to do with them," Nami shakes her head quickly, "They didn't do anything.
"I had a fight with a classmate."
"Huh." Nojiko chews her chicken thoughtfully, swallows and spears another. Nami waits for more words to no avail. Finally the latter speaks.
"'Huh'? Just 'huh'?"
"Huh," Nojiko repeats agreeably, "Did it happen here?"
A nod.
"Huh."
"Nojiko, seriously—"
"I don't mean it," Nojiko reaches her fork over and scrapes some vegetables onto her plate, "It's just… that's all I have to say – 'huh'. You've never had anyone over before and the first one you do, you get in a fight with," she has to stifle her laughter a little, taking a sip of water.
"I wasn't the one who invited him over—"
"Oh, the plot thickens," Nojiko abruptly leans forward, "'Him', huh? What's his name? Please tell me he's not a criminal."
"He's not a criminal." Yet.
"And? The name?"
Nami hesitates. For some reason, she feels kind of sheepish for admitting she got in a fight with Luffy already, especially considering her sister's apparent fondness for the boy from the first meeting in the car.
"Condoriano," Nami blurts on impulse. She vaguely remembers Usopp telling some story about a Condoriano fellow in the week, whoever he is prompting Zoro to also weigh in on a rare occasion by saying "he was damn annoying".
"Condoriano," Nojiko repeats in a flat, disbelieving tone. Nami almost has to laugh at her bemused expression as she confirms.
"Condoriano."
"Well, you can't even make that kind of stuff up. What did you fight with Condoriano about?"
"Just… stupid stuff," Nami pokes her food around, taking a small nibble of a carrot, "Nothing important really."
"Important enough that you wouldn't be able to concentrate on your work."
Nami stabs the next unfortunate carrot, "It's really nothing. L – Condoriano and I will work it out at school."
Nojiko raises one sceptical eyebrow at her sister's near slip but doesn't comment, "Sure. You and Condoriano do that."
Both sisters eat in silence for a while and Nojiko finally says, "Work was alright, if you were wondering. Though some customers should really keep in mind I have the power to spit in their food."
At that, Nami cracks a smile and eventually Nojiko coaxes a wider one out of her with more vague stories from work and the apparent idiots who "can't recognise a red light when they see one. Oh, by the way, I even got leftover cheesecake; we should probably eat it soon though, I have no idea how long it lasts…
"But, that's my day," Nojiko leans back, her plate cleared off and she hangs her head over the back of the chair, "What were you doing all day before your fight with Condoriano?"
Who? Oh, right.
"Budgeting, the usual," Nami answers, "If we keep going at this rate, we'll have his payment ready."
"Anything to spare?"
"Barely anything. As usual." The girl keeps her eyes up and alert, yet downcast just enough to portray frustration or faked nonchalance. Her eyelashes brush her cheekbones as she blinks, "Just another month, right?"
Nojiko kicks her under the table.
"OW! Hey—!" Nami abruptly snaps her head up, her eyes narrowing into a fierce glare as she comes half out of her seat. The pain hasn't even reached her brain yet and her anger response, lying dormant and wrongly assumed to be used up for the day, lights like a match on oil, "What the hell was that—"
Nojiko, with her face propped on the heel of one hand, cracks a wide, Luffy-worthy—
ARGH! Sitting down in a huff, the girl crosses her arms tightly, her anger suddenly divided in favour of the boy.
"—That's more like it," Nojiko is saying, "It's too soon for you to be saying stuff like that.
"Now help me clean up." The chair scrapes against the floor again. It's such an unpleasant sound when Nami really pays attention to it. Feeling the need to direct her anger at every annoyance, she glares down at it and the expression immediately goes as soon as it comes.
There are scratch marks on the floor, from earlier, standing out starkly like jagged white scars.
"I just don't understand you at all! What is your problem?" His eyes glare at her in anger that stirs in Nami a familiar sense of danger and fear; yet the fists balled tightly at his sides and the stiff, sharp line of his clenched jaw only convey one emotion to her perceptive instinct – frustration. No more. No danger. Not yet.
"Nami?"
"Coming!" the girl responds, hurriedly moving to stall her thoughts, but they have already taken root. A heavy conscience weighs on her mind and remains there for the rest of the night, seeping in slowly to corrode her thoughts, until nothing more than pride and prejudice remain that prevent the thief from apologising to a Pirate.
Morning. Pirate Academy.
"Morning," Nami greets her mother as she dresses, pulling the blazer over her shoulders, "Are you doing well? There might be a few problems at the Pirate Academy today, but nothing I can't handle." She flashes a bright smile towards the woman, "Your do-everything daughter, right? I'm leaving now. I love you."
The walk to the Academy becomes routine over the course of a week and Nami feels cheated if she doesn't get a sufficient whiff of fresh coffee, sizzling bacon and car fumes, usually about five to ten minutes into her walk along the strip of cafés and boutiques. She saves a secret, satisfied smile for the boutique near the café that doesn't have CCTV. The investigation had since been largely forgotten about after the initial frenzy and filed away under minor cases that no one particularly cared about after the newspaper story went out of print. The mannequin even sports a new outfit, promoting the new stock from that new designer, Pappug, Criminal. The media coverage must have been enough for a popular brand to take advantage of it. At least it seems to justify her actions, Nami thinks as she watches the streams of customers entering and leaving the shop, craning her neck until she can no longer see them.
"Nami!"
At her name being called, Nami automatically snaps her head forward and meets the eyes of Makino standing nearby the railing of her café.
("Yo!"
"The hell with 'yo'! You almost gave me a heart attack!")
"Makino," Nami greets easily, though her eye flicks upward toward the only window Luffy must have leapt out of before. It's pulled firmly shut and curtains cover it from the outside world. Her gaze returns to her caller, "Good morning." I wonder if she's mad at me.
Yet Makino's eyes betray no ulterior motive when she returns the phrase and tilts her head to one side slightly, "How was your first day," and here a mischievous smile plays on her lips, "at Pirate Academy?" Immediately her face gives way for a giggle, "Luffy told me that's what you took to calling it."
"Is he here?" Nami blurts out without thinking, immediately regretting it when she sees the café door swing open with a musical jingle, but only a middle-aged man hurries out with a takeaway coffee, calling over his shoulder, "See you, Makino!"
"See you," Makino replies with a closed-eye smile. When she returns to Nami, she says, "Luffy? No, he's not here this morning, even though I saw Ace earlier. He probably overslept at home again. Sometimes not even the promise of food can get him here fast enough."
"At… home?" Nami blinks, "Isn't this…" By then, she realises how utterly bemused she sounds and smooths out her tone and delivery, "I thought they lived here, I mean."
"Oh, no, that wouldn't be possible; I would go out of business with Luffy alone!" Makino laughs, raising a hand to her lips, "I'm sorry Nami, they don't live here, although they drop by often enough so I let them spend the night if they need. They live with… an acquaintance of their grandfather, Garp-san. It's… a long way out of the city; in the mountains, in fact."
"Mountains?"
"Yes, it's very…" her expression turns into a gentle smile, "… unique. It suits them well, in a sense, although that probably sounds quite harsh on my behalf. I'm guessing Luffy returned home over the weekend. Ace left after his hangover healed and I haven't seen either of them until this morning. What those two boys must do up there…
"But I'm rambling, aren't I? I better let you go and get back to work, but before that…" she turns towards the door but twists her head slightly to wink back at Nami, "I think I have chocolate chip muffins on the counter and no one to give them to, if you're interested?"
Once again, Nami finds herself walking the rest of her trip with a muffin; only without her cheerful companion and the obligation to talk, she manages to consume the entire muffin long before the grand school gates come into view. The sight of it still strikes her every time she ascends the slight slope and sees the tips of its opulent roofs appear; the same feeling of mild nausea in anticipation of entering a school full of Pirates and former Pirates still coils in her stomach uncomfortably and the weight of her bag suddenly feels much heavier against her back and healing bruises.
It feels like she is starting school all over again the way she always had – alone.
Shaking herself, she strides purposefully forward, determined not to allow moping to take over her day.
The plan was all well and good, until the five minutes had passed and Nami enters the English classroom and sees his form perching cross-legged on the table. Déjà vu hits her like a truck: everything, from the way he actually sits in a variant of crossing his legs (by pressing the arches of his feet together and bracing his hands on his knees) to Chopper scolding an inattentive Zoro about injuries and bandages to Usopp half-joking and half-yelling at Luffy, is exactly the same as the first time.
Only she's not.
It's always been that way though.
Then Usopp calls out, "Hey Nami! Morning!"
The sound shocks her to attention, "Morning!" she all but shrieks, catching the attention of the two statuesque girls. They turn and look at her with subdued interest before turning back to their group. It is still enough for Nami to freeze for the briefest of moments before she directs a mock frown, "Hey, you interrupted my train of thought! How am I supposed to effectively explain Mercutio's ultimate contribution to Romeo's characterisation now?"
Usopp snorts, "Sounds like I saved you, more like it." But he cracks a grin, "At least someone's been working on the assignment!"
"Chopper?" Nami questions, raising an eyebrow at the boy sulkily resigned to his seat, unsuccessful in convincing Zoro to be re-bandaged… Only for Zoro to finally stick out an arm when Chopper turns around concernedly and the latter practically leaps out of his seat at the opportunity in disbelief. He wastes no time in deftly taking care of the older boy, grinning happily.
"You'd think," Usopp is saying, "Half his time he scolds Zoro and the other half learning under Dr. Kureha, but you're right, I guess. Out of the four of us at least, Chopper is the only one with a hope of graduating with high marks. Or graduating at all," he adds with a dead-panned face that coaxes another unexpected laugh from Nami. Immediately, her hand comes up to stifle the sound automatically, quietly reprimanding herself. This day is just too weird. And Luffy is—
… Not with them anymore, Nami realises when she sees his empty seat. She spies him perching over by the pink-haired girl's desk (Bonney?), rocking back and forth hugging his knees, "Hey, can I have some pizza too?"
"Nope."
"Please."
"Go away."
"Just a little?"
"What's with you?" the girl finally snaps, rocking forward so her chair actually stands properly, "Wouldn't you just steal it any other day?"
"Yeah, what's wrong, Straw Hat?" Kidd drawls from his seat, leaning over himself only to have the pizza box snatched from under his grip by an irate Bonney. At the same time, Basil Hawkins sitting on her other side deftly swipes a slice without the notice of anyone. He returns to his cards quietly, never making a sound.
"Don't be so selfish, you bastard; one slice!" Luffy whines.
"As if!"
"Wonder what's wrong with Luffy," Chopper remarks, sliding into his seat beside Nami. He still seems content at having apparently won over Zoro but his brow creases at Luffy, "He usually doesn't bother them this long."
"This is a regular thing?" Nami inquires.
"Yeah," Chopper nods. His frown deepens slightly, "I'm glad. Luffy hasn't been—"
"CLASS ~Luffy~ TO ATTENTION!" yells Hancock, marching in, entrance as grand as the first day. Chopper actually leaps a little, jolting his desk. The sound is masked by a triumphant yell from Luffy who wrestles the pizza box off a cursing Bonney and starts running around the room devouring the contents. Some classmates start laughing and cheering while others watch in amusement and others seem oblivious to the whole thing. Hancock roars from the front of the room, "BONNEY! What do you think you're doing in my classroom?"
"Usopp, pass!" calls Luffy, tossing the box like a Frisbee to the flustered boy who only manages to catch the object before it flies open, "Good job!"
"OI!" Usopp complains, "LUF— Oh, hey! Guys, pepperoni! Zoro, get up!" Usopp starts passing around slices to Zoro and Chopper. As Nami watches in part bemusement and part disgust, Usopp proffers the box, "Last one, better take it."
It smells good… She takes it, allowing a smile, "Thanks."
"A tip: hold it like this," Usopp demonstrates, "So Luffy can't steal it."
"STRAW HAT!" the sound of a table being shoved against the wall erupts loudly somewhere to Nami's left followed by a rumble of falling books.
Quietly, the girl finishes her pizza slice, cleaning off her greasy fingers and slowly, silently becoming detached from the situation around her; ignoring Hancock yelling, Bonney yelling and Luffy running, vaulting over tables and people, much to their annoyance. At last, he lands with a crash into his seat and yells, "SAFE!" whipping his arms to the side like a baseball umpire. The whole class bursts out laughing, even Bonney who can't trap her amused grin in time, although in a second she comes stomping forward with a wolf's glare before Hancock intervenes loudly. All the while, the class laughs. Beside her, Chopper and Usopp are holding their sides in laughter. Even Zoro laughs openly.
While the rest of the class laughs, Nami finishes ruling her page and arranging her pens in order of height and colour. When she looks to the side, she sees Luffy, who has (should have) the loudest laugh of all, as silent as she is. His gaze is directed straight forward, not looking at her even though she suspects he must sense her own stare. His laughter should be reverberating in the room.
His isn't now, and neither is hers.
She wonders:
Is it my fault?
Her guilt at already knowing she is at least in part to blame:
How can I apologise?
To a Pirate?
So. It's been a while.
Truly, the story is moving quite slowly. Kind of like a turtle pace (are snails slower? Or turtles?).
It is hard to get the right balance of emotions and to create an argument where one side is as justified as the other. I hope you guys are annoyed with someone; that someone depending on whatever your perspective on the situation may be… that would make me feel really accomplished! If I made the characters relatable, that's even better.
Thank you for being patient; I know it must be frustrating to wait…
Hopefully, I shall update soon.
BTS-SilverLinings.