Chapter Eighteen – Somewhere Outside a Police Station
Bit of a dark chapter towards the end. Nothing too serious (and most of the scene is implied) but, still, warning.
There's something about a police station that instills both comfort and fear in Nojiko. Comfort because the police station was where she would spend her time in town as a child while Nami was on her thieving escapades, making and playing with pinwheels. Fear because there was only one police station that had Gen-san and certainly, it had been none of the stations she'd frequented with Nami as they grew older and older; and officers became less and less inclined to excuse the latter's actions. Fortunately, these visits became less frequent with age, when Nami became better at not getting caught.
Until now, Nojiko thinks wearily as the automatic doors slide open and she spies Ace standing at the desk to turn in the evidence she'd handed over to him. At the sound of the doors hissing shut, both Ace and the officers on duty turn to look at her.
"Can I help you, miss?" asks one officer first, an older, stouter woman who barely manages to peer comfortably over the counter. Her partner is a younger male who subtly looks her up-and-down once in appreciation.
Instinctively, Nojiko looks to Ace, gauging his reaction before she says anything. She'd been caught out in too many lies when she would jump in at the same time as someone else, but their stories would contradict, immediately revealing falsity. Sure enough, Ace blurts out, "She's with me. It's a fair way to walk to her house so her sister will be by later to pick her up. We figured it'd be better to wait in the station than out in the street."
This seems good enough for the female officer who nods in agreement, "Indeed. That's no problem." To Nojiko, she instructs, "There are some seats to your left that you may sit on. Koji here will bring you something to drink, it must be freezing out there."
Nojiko exchanges pleasantries with them and the young, male officer – Koji – promptly brings her a hot drink as promised, though a little less kindly than his initial interest would have suggested. It is only after a quick glance over his shoulder at Ace, still engaged at the front desk, that he asks, "Are you really with that guy, miss?"
His tone demands that Nojiko take a slow sip of her coffee – cheap, instant stuff that she's used to drinking at home – before she deigns to reply. When she does, her voice is cool, contradicting his shock, anger and slight disgust, "That's right." Her cocked eyebrow asks: what of it?
Whatever Koji wants to say is cut short by Ace suddenly approaching them. He seems to weigh up his options for a second before he withdraws, clearly still a bit uneasy, "I see." He hurries back to the desk, but keeps a watchful eye on them nonetheless. His partner, on the other hand, seems completely unbothered.
"What's his problem?" Nojiko asks quietly, around another sip of coffee.
"Looks to me like he chickened out of asking you to dinner."
"He had a ring on."
"With the way he was looking at you, it won't be for long."
Stop avoiding the topic.
"That doesn't work on me, either," she tries next, and it does its job, because his smile drops.
"Never use mysterious and cool-sounding lines that can come back and bite you in the butt. Got it," he mutters. When she still doesn't budge, only watching him with that passive expression, but expectant, raised brow; he drops down into the seat beside her, "You're a stubborn one.
"I'm not a favourite of everyone in the station, all right? Some of my… relationships with my family matter more to some people than it does for others, and vice-versa."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"That's because it's not a good way of explaining it. Sorry. I had to keep it to myself for a long time, so…" he trails off, seemingly unsure of how the sentence should end. He doesn't linger on it too long, "Even though it's not a secret anymore, I still don't like saying it. So, bear with me." She does, and after a few more moments of thought, Ace decides on the words he wants to say.
Slowly: "It depends on whether they see me as the grandson or the son."
The trip to F District is quicker than Nami anticipates, though she keeps on glancing at the clock, worried that she'll somehow be late. But, the traffic seems to part smoothly for her, letting her straight through to her destination. Despite her earlier assurances to Nojiko, both over the phone and more recently, the confirmation that yes, she could handle it alone, outside of the station; her knuckles are blanched white around the wheel. No matter how long, she would always dread the trip to him.
"And you always seem to bluff so well around me," her companion notes from beside her. Berry-burgundy eyes are narrowed in on her hands and Nami quickly relinquishes her grip, letting colour flow almost painfully back into them. Somehow, she is thrown off and embarrassed even though Ain did not sound condescending or reprimanding. Maybe it is just the contrast in them – how Ain is completely unbothered with a quiet confidence and how Nami feels like she is falling to pieces beside that, even though she is the one who has made this trip countless times before.
"I'm presuming you meet at the same location we scouted before?"
A nod.
"Good. Park at the same place as last time."
The instructions are followed, but as Nami cuts the engine and the surroundings fall quiet and dark, a sense of hesitation still permeates the air. She asks the questions that accompany that uneasiness and is surprised by how reassuring and calm Ain's responses are – the simple, pure certainty of someone who knows and believes wholeheartedly in what they have to do.
"We know the police have a scout on the inside. What if they see me, or identify me?"
Ain tilts her head in thought. Then she says, "Call in to the Pirate – Arlong. Tell him you saw police poking around nearby and to dispatch a couple of his men to deal with it. If the scout is the self-sacrificing type – which they all are – he won't let any more Pirates confront his fellow officers than necessary and volunteer to go. Even if he isn't, this is also a golden opportunity for him and his fellow 'officers' to ambush a member of a Pirate crew. He won't pass it up. Once he's gone, you can enter without fear."
"And when they realise there are no officers to deal with?"
"I'll take care of that problem," Ain replies with a confidence that is hard to refute. But…
"You're not coming with me?"
"I will take care of anyone who may interfere as quickly as possible and then I will return to you," she clarifies firmly. Secondly, she asks, "Would he hurt you?"
Of course he would. But, that isn't what Ain meant when she asked.
"He wouldn't lay a hand on me."
"Then it's decided." She reaches beside her and hands Nami her phone once more, waiting patiently while Nami enters the number and presses the device to her ear, counting three consecutive tones before Arlong picks up.
"Arlong," Nami greets first, even though he is one who receives the call.
"You will be late if you don't hurry soon, Nami."
"I'm here," she states flatly, "In F District. This is only a courtesy call to warn you that officers are patrolling nearby."
"I hope you remember what happened last time you brought the police to my doorstep."
"This has nothing to do with me in the way you're implying. Perhaps it's because of what happened last time that they have increased their patrols to this area."
Arlong's low growl is his only response to that small dig. After a few seconds more to confirm Arlong is truly listening to her, Nami goes on: "They're to the west. One patrol car and two officers. I would suggest letting two people deal with it."
"One should be more than enough if they're worth anything in my crew."
"I don't doubt it, but the police have a tendency to call for back-up at the first sign of danger. If you want to settle this as quickly and quietly as possible, I suggest two."
"How annoying," he mutters, but he doesn't argue with her. Instead he adds, "Get out of the way before they arrive. I wouldn't want any further harm to you, Nami."
Swallowing once to smother the maelstrom of words that rose at that, Nami replies, "Obviously." Then, without waiting for his response, she hangs up, unable to keep playing this game with him any longer. How dare he act like he had a shred of concern for her wellbeing, to speak so condescendingly when they both knew the true catalyst of any 'harm' that came to her.
She nearly jumps when the phone is plucked – or, more accurately, prised – from her tight grip, accompanied with a drawled "I'd actually like to keep that in the condition that it is, if you don't mind." Ain replaces the phone in the centre console and unlatches the door on her side, "I'm leaving first."
"Hey, don't you need—" Nami grabs the phone and proffers it to her, "Just in case."
"Who would I call, exactly?" Ain inquires, one eyebrow raised sceptically, "Remember, I'm not the police."
"That shouldn't matter—"
"Lastly, they might not deign to come at all, and I would deserve that," she says it like fact, without a hint of anger or resentment. To Nami, it makes it all the more upsetting.
"Secondly, if they came, I would owe them a debt; and their next call would be to my parole officer since I'm in breach of my conditions again. Don't think you'll be able to lie your way out of a second incident here, either."
"And firstly?" Nami prompts, since Ain is bizarrely working backwards in her list of outcomes.
"Firstly, I do not need 'back-up' at the first sign of danger." And only here does Ain's voice hitch to mockery and derision, "I'm not these police."
There it is again – Nami sees a glimpse of Ain, the criminal. An air of superb and arrogant confidence surrounds her like a protective veil. Even her movements leaving the vehicle seem practiced, sharpened and honed to a refined weapon. She was once considered a weapon. Nami heard whispers around the station, especially with Ain working on its bottom floor. The Neo Force was, as its peak, a terror on both sides of Pirates and police.
But… that ended, didn't it? They were defeated, and caught, and reformed. They were mortal, they were fallible.
And so Nami presses the phone to Ain's hand as she gets up to leave anyway. The other girl looks back with a frown.
"Just take it," Nami tells her, "You don't even have to call the police. Call the last number your phone rang. If I'm still there, I'll pick up."
"You're asking me to call a Pirate?"
"I'm telling you to. If worse comes to worse, you will call. I revoke your right to have a say in the matter, despite your almighty pride."
Of course, such a line invited any number of responses. Nami's mind worked quickly to guess them all.
How can you help me? What could you do in that situation? Why should I call you of all people?
The only response she hadn't anticipated – but which encompassed all of these responses and more – was simply the action of dumping the phone resolutely back in the centre console. Ain doesn't look back once, nor says a single word, as she forces the door open, slams it once she's out and slinks into the shadows… effectively dismissing whatever assistance Nami thought to offer.
The next sound is Nami kicking the nearest surface beside the brake of the car out of sheer frustration. Does she have to be so damn righteous, and stubborn, and, and—
And right?
Admittedly, what could Nami do, in such a situation? Faced with Arlong's crew – even Arlong himself – who she'd never truly stood up to before, what did she think she was capable of doing against them?
In the end, it'd only been another bluff. Yet, that cold rejection still hurt all the same – as if Ain could see right through her, to the pitiful, pathetic and weak person she'd become in this place; and choose to leave her behind without a single word, thought or acknowledgement anyway.
It felt so familiar.
(Gunshots – she could hear gunshots and she didn't do a single thing, not one thing—).
Damn it. Damn it. Again, she kicks the same surface, harder, with a greater fury; but before something as dangerous and permanent, and visible, as tears will form, Nami forces herself up and out of the car and into the Pirate's den.
Seeing his smug and goading face does absolutely nothing for her mood. In fact, it twists her mood, making her feel reckless and defiant as she marches in there, shaking off the hand of whoever dared to touch her. As if she still needed to be escorted to him.
"You look satisfied," she remarks coldly before she can rein the words back in.
Immediately, Arlong's eyes narrow and with that small motion, her bravado dissolves into nothing at all. Her gait falters momentarily. Her mask becomes hollow. She no longer has the confidence to support either.
"And what exactly," he asks, "Makes you think you can use that tone against me, Nami?" Too calm, his tone is too calm, as Nami steps into a square of light before him. Still, refusing to feel intimidated, she lets one hand balance lazily on a cocked hip – casual enough to be non-threatening but powerful enough to reject submission.
"Tonight? Alerting you to the presence of police officers for one," she replies.
Arlong scoffs out loud, "The police are no threat to us. You only recommended a hunting sport."
Her jaw clenches.
"It's amusing when that happens," he goes on, "Everyone falling over each other to confront them first. It's good, that kind of enthusiasm."
"Who did you send out? I saw Kuroobi, Chew and Hachi on my way in."
"Naturally. It's not worth their time. A new member volunteered to go, with someone to accompany him. We'll see how he proves himself if he returns."
At the very least, Ain's prediction turned out correct.
"Now," Arlong reclines back in his chair comfortably, one large hand on his folded leg, the other on the armrest. His rings catch the light in a beautiful and dangerous way. It says something about him, Nami thinks, about his reputation and power, to flaunt such valuable things in plain sight in these parts.
"Now, Nami, I think that's enough discussion about the crew. Let's talk about our deal instead. I trust—"
She places the money in front of him, forcing her fingers to let it go and withdraw. That money, that money she'd stolen and hidden and kept until tonight. She'd anticipated meeting Arlong tonight, so she'd brought it with her; and then used an ATM to withdraw the rest. When Nojiko received the statements, or checked the transaction history, she'd be none the wiser.
"Nice pay in the city," Arlong remarks, in a tone which suggests he knew this money is not 'pay' at all.
"Do you have a problem with it?" Nami asks pleasantly enough, but neither of them miss the layer of ice within. Fortunately, Arlong chooses to respond in kind as opposed to blowing up over it.
"Business is business," he replies, equally as pleasant and malicious, "Regardless of the means of conducting it.
"Wouldn't you agree?"
Something feels off about the way he says it.
He wouldn't dare hurt me again, she repeats to herself. Nor would he touch Nojiko, nor anyone back home. That was their deal and if nothing else could be said for Arlong, he kept his deals. Never a promise, never something so selfless, but definitely a deal, where both parties would receive a mutual benefit. Arlong risked losing his benefit if he broke his deal. So long as she remembers that, Nami feels safe. Secure. More than that, Nojiko is safe. Her hometown is safe.
Everyone else outside of that – who was not involved – did not matter, at least to her.
So, she returns a corrupted, but genuine, smile. She says, "Of course."
She turns to go, but—
"Nami?"
She stops, but refuses to turn around.
"Don't forget the second part of the payment. I want maps of F District as well as any territories in town that you deem appropriate for us to take. I've already been very patient with you. Don't make me regret the decision to let you provide the maps in your own time. When you were younger, you were much quicker since you worked in that room—"
(That room.)
"You'll get them soon." She'd already started them between work and school, often sketching them near the window late into the night and early the next morning. It felt like a luxury.
She could hear the smile in his voice.
"Good, Nami."
"Leaving so soon, Nami?"
"Is there any reason I should stay?" she asks pointedly.
"Ah, no… I guess you only ever come to see Arlong-san," Hachi admits.
"He's right, Nami. Stick around for a bit, we hardly ever see you anymore," someone else pitches in.
"All this moving around—" another agrees.
"Hey, all of you," Kuroobi raises his voice next and immediately all goes quiet. He doesn't say a word more, having apparently made his point, and he re-enters Arlong's quarters near the back of the building with Chew following silently on his heels. At the last second however, Chew turns his head back and comments, "If you have time to coddle her, why don't you go and fetch those couple that went to deal with the police? They're slow."
"How harsh, Chew. They're new, after all," Hachi replies.
"Looks like you volunteer, Hachi."
"Harsh."
"I'll go," Nami interrupts immediately, "It's too suspicious for a character like Hachi to loiter around there, especially if the police spot him. I'll bring them back if they haven't been caught."
"And if they have?" that voice sends a shiver down her spine. Again, Arlong asks the same question as he emerges from the room first, flanked by Kuroobi and Chew, "If they've been caught already, what will you do, Nami?"
"I'll leave them be, obviously," she spits venomously, "If they're so incompetent that they're caught, why should I bother to rescue them?"
Around her are the same whispers that are familiar to her.
"Seriously, she's a witch, that Nami, a witch…"
"That is my crew you're talking about. Giving them up the police, such a simple-minded and foolish group of people, is unforgiveable."
What the hell is that tone?
His eyes glint, "Do you understand?"
And suddenly, she does. It goes against every fibre of her being, every single thing she believes in and it makes her sick to her very core. But she can understand it so easily.
Giving them up is unforgiveable.
Meaning they can die first before that happens.
How can he say such a thing so casually?
Maybe she and Arlong are more different than she'd originally thought.
"I understand."
When she'd emerged, Nami had deliberately slowed down her pace, waiting for a set of footsteps to fall in place beside her, or a witty comment pitched from behind to make her jump. Neither of those things happen, and so by the time Nami reaches the car, she is running. No evidence anyone had returned is visible inside. The phone is still sitting in the centre console, undisturbed. Her hand is shaking too much, she can't insert the key to start the car; so, she jabs at the screen of the phone instead. When it lights up, the time indicates she should have returned by now, she should be here.
The next attempt to start the car is successful.
"Idiot, idiot, stupid righteous idiot," Nami mutters to herself as she pulls away from the curb and heads towards the west. Like that first night with Tashigi, she keeps the lookout, peering into the gloom where the headlights can't breach. She isn't even sure what she should be looking for or if there is anything to look for. Surely, Ain would not be so brazen to 'take care of it' in the middle of the street. Still, she keeps searching while another thought plays through her mind.
"Why can't people just live a good, honest life?" Tashigi had demanded that night, and suddenly Nami feels ashamed, as if Tashigi is sitting right beside her again tonight. Why couldn't they have kept out of trouble? Ain had already been given a second chance to escape from her past, maybe even numerous chances in retrospect; why is she throwing it away to target one Pirate? Why is she throwing away her chance?
Why hadn't Nami recognised Ain to be the type of person she despised most in the world? Someone who would reject their chance – their life – so carelessly?
Perhaps some part of her had been glad – glad that someone, finally, someone would do to this Pirate crew what she could only dream of. And so, she made that exception for Ain. Then, does that mean it was her fault that—
Ain! Her mind recognises the figure a split second before her reflexes catch up. When she slows to a stop nearby, she can't help but allow a smile to break out. She was safe, she was here…
… But what is that she could see behind her, in the glow of the headlights?
It looks like a limb, but… the colour of it was wrong, and the way it was bent… Towards the periphery of the sphere of light, another figure seems to be in similar shape. Neither move, even when the yellow-white tinged light shines too brightly upon them, making those ugly, ugly colours stand out. Their hair, in hues of brown and black, is matted, as if sticky, and…
The only other colour is red.
What…?
The passenger door is wrenched open. Nami hadn't even noticed the lone, standing figure had moved, still transfixed on the scene left in her wake. Her first reaction—
Is halted by Ain's hand covering her mouth. She can't stop Nami's intake of breath, however, and when Nami does, she smells the metallic stench of blood.
"Never does anyone much good, remember?" Ain questions flatly; not that she expects an answer when she drops her hand. A cursory look reveals it is clean, completely clean of blood. Yet, the smell clings to her. It must have stained somewhere – her clothes, her arm, her hair.
"W—" Nami utters. What… the hell happened— her mind demands but the words don't make it past her mouth. They shrivel and die quietly and are forgotten quickly. When she tries to recover them, the words slip away from her and she keeps hitting a wall. She can't think.
"Can you drive?" Ain questions beside her.
Shut up, shut up, let me think— I can't think, can't think, I can't remember—
(Drip, drop…)
Pain flares suddenly and Nami shrieks, her hand automatically going to the injured site: right on the fleshy part where her neck meets her shoulder. She glares at Ain. Damn her, she pinched her.
"What the hell was that for?" she growls.
"Good, you're responding," Ain deadpans. Next, "Again, can you drive or not?"
And something snaps at her nonchalant tone.
"That was someone from your station! Someone who you worked with! I understand your hatred towards Pirates but even that— that… This…" she yells in frustration at her inability to speak. Calm down. She takes a breath, letting one cohesive thought connect to another now before she exclaims, "This is too far! No matter how anyone looks at this, no matter how you want to justify it, how could you do this to another person?"
Ain glares at her icily. At this moment, Nami's rage clouds even her fear and so she glares right back in defiance, not yet realising the danger of her own situation. Until Ain herself states coldly, "If I am capable of doing that to another person, how wise do you think that makes you to try and provoke me?
"This is what Absolute Justice is," she continues, her voice rising ever so slightly but plateauing before it could constitute anything more than a yell, "It is one or the other – black or white. If you dawdle in the grey area, it will only eat up both sides. It creates doubt and confusion, losses and consequences, and in the end, nothing is resolved! Nothing is changed!"
At those last three words, something in her gaze changes. It eclipses both the steely gaze of a policewoman, and soulless eyes of a Pirate caught in bloodlust. There were restrictions to those sides, unspoken rules and morals that curb their behaviour. Now, looking at her, Nami cannot see any of those limitations, any means of control, in Ain's eyes. In the light, they look crimson as opposed to their regular berry colour – wild and fearless, and so, so frightening. The look of someone who is not bound by anything and free to do everything. The red outlier to the black-and-white sides and the grey that separates them.
She doesn't know what else to do (it seems neither of them does) but to turn away. So, her body acts first, abandoning critical analysis for the next move.
"Is this what it was like?" Nami finds her voice asking, a hollow reiteration of the thoughts in her head. Thoughts, but… she doesn't feel like they are conscious thoughts, rather they just form as a reaction and she cannot arrange them into practised, rehearsed speech before they come out and she is unable to take them back. Her eyes are on the scene in front of her, and slowly, slowly, the colours are becoming less vivid. Less of a shock, less abnormal… until it becomes real.
Is this what it was like?
In the Neo Force? "In the Neo Force?"
After moments pass, Nami feels like she won't respond, but finally:
"This was our reality."
Suddenly, the scene in front is swamped in darkness with a click. Nami jumps at that, but she doesn't scream again, even though she feels Ain's hand hovering close to her in anticipation and eventually, as it falls away, having no purpose. Belatedly, she realises Ain must have flicked the headlights off.
This was our reality.
"You don't have to look at it if it upsets you."
And sure, Nami can no longer see anything. But, she knows it's still there. But…
"Thank you," it feels wrong to say it in this context but the response is automatic so Nami lets it pass.
"Just hurry up and make a decision quickly," Ain replies. It takes Nami a second to guess what she means – the unanswered question from before.
"Yes, I can drive."
"Not that," Ain snaps. It would have been comical if they'd been anywhere else, anywhere else but here, in this place that was too dark and smelt too metallic. The realisation of that hits Nami again just as hard as the initial impact, like an after-effect of shock. Ain exhales. If Nami heard right, it sounded a little strained. Obviously, she remained acutely aware of their environment… or never forgot about it. She says, "This… Quickly, make your decision about what you will do about this… and be prepared to deal with the consequences of either choice."
"What deci—" Nami begins, but abruptly, her mind provides the answer for her.
Drive away. Forget you saw anything. Or…
Ain watches her. Would she hurt her the same way if Nami chose that path? Her mind immediately jumps to further justifications. Arlong wanted them dead anyway, didn't he, if they were caught – so there would be no loose end there. The police spy could be easily explained away to the police once he was found. Killed in the line of duty. Not unusual. No loose end. She could truly drive away from this. Forget about it.
She knew she would never forget about it – their shade of blood was exactly the same as her's… and Nami would never forget about that woman. Somewhere, these people had a family, and a hometown, and experienced that same fear when faced with an enemy they couldn't overcome. Nothing could take away from that.
So, she grabs the phone between them. Ain doesn't stop her as she slowly carries it to her side, nor does she react when she hears the number being dialled. But, as she enters the final number, Nami catches her attention and tells her, "Don't let a single noise make it to this side."
Before Ain has time to react to that, Nami already has the phone to her ear, and she makes her decision, keeping eye contact with the person whose ideals differ so wildly from her own, opposite her.
In the pathetic glow of the phone in this darkness, Ain's eyes are berry again – a colour, Nami thinks, that doesn't have a true allegiance to anyone. Yet, it could change so easily again, depending on the light it is exposed to.
The second Nojiko hears the words 'F District', she is already standing up, startling Ace beside her.
"What's up with you?" he drawls, rubbing his neck, "I finally dropped off to sleep too."
You fell asleep all of a sudden half an hour ago! She'd never guess Ace would be narcoleptic, so that was a surprise, ten minutes into her wait at the station but she'd let him doze (much to the bemusement of Koji who still occasionally glanced over with less and less apprehension each time). For now, she shushes him, trying to walk casually to the nearby bin to throw out her empty coffee cup whilst listening to the exchange at a closer distance.
"… two people unconscious and from her description, one of them is him…" the older female officer briefs Koji. A stunned exclamation comes next and then: "we need to send someone down there…"
"I'll go!"
"You will not! You're on duty—"
And even though Nojiko is on her way out now, she can still hear the next statement clearly for it is proclaimed so loudly: "He's my brother!"
"Hey," a different voice and a hand catches her arm, "Where do you think you're going?" She tries to shake him off, but his grip only grows more secure, "What is with you—"
"Something happened in F District!" she hisses at Ace, spinning around impatiently, "You saw her, you know about…" she stops herself, appalled at her near slip. "I have a bad feeling so I'm going down there." She shuts up quickly enough when Koji storms past her and through the doors, despite his partner's protests. She feels a spike of envy for him – at being able to run off so easily to make sure their sibling is safe. But not her, of course, she just had to shake off this insistent brother to do the same thing. For God's sake, she would've thought he would understand, of all people! But, he doesn't budge, looking carefully at her expression. Finally, he says, "Got it." He drops her arm and Nojiko feels relief overcome her…
… To be dispelled when Ace nudges her towards the same front seat again, essentially preventing her departure.
"Have you forgotten our cover? You have to be here until your sister returns with the car. Besides," he quickly intercepts her cold response, "If Nami returns with the car any minute now, it would be suspicious and troublesome if you're gone. One of us should remain at the station and Nami has no idea I'm here. Also, I know my way around F District, can defend myself from anyone who wants to try anything, and I can get information off the police if I need to… provided they're willing to talk to me.
"Any complaints?"
And Nojiko can only look at him, at the earnestness in his expression and the complete honesty and reasonable arguments he put forward. The doubt is rising again, but it is only doubt in herself. Why had she let Nami 'deal with the Pirates' in the first place? Why doesn't she have the knowledge she needs? What if I can't do this? The familiar fears following the hell to obtain custody, and then a new one: since when have I not been able to do this anymore?
Maybe when they got too far into the territory of Pirates. Like Nami told her so bluntly, the game of Pirates is one Nojiko could not – and, for so long, would not – play. So, she returns the gaze of the Pirate in front of her, biting back whatever pride or shame she had towards herself for the moment and replying with as much dignity she could salvage:
"I'm counting on you."