AU: Ten Thousand Leagues Under the Sea (heavy AU, highly (highly!) unrealistic)

Pairing: SasukexSakura, NejixTenten, among many others.

Deep sea expeditions were The Chidori's forte.

It was a state-of-the-art submarine with reinforced adamantium walls that could withstand up to three hundred megapascals of pressure within a single dive. The fact that she could hold enough cargo for exactly one hundred men to live off for ten months was just another bonus.

Sasuke Uchiha only needed 13.

"General Uchiha, The Chidori will be ten thousand leagues under the sea in a matter of minutes." A snicker.

He rolled his eyes. "Idiot. This isn't a Jules Verne novel," but there was no venom in his words, "How is she managing?"

"Well," Naruto started, "Sakura-"

"The submarine."

"Oh," the blonde scratched the back of his head, dislodging his mariner's hat in the process, "No visible damage so far, only a little bit of strain, but nothing too serious. She's a real beauty."

Sasuke agreed; he'd made a wise choice spending more money on the barrier metal and pressure containers than their own necessities.

"Though," his friend continued, "we could do with better rooms."

"Naruto, get out," he replied softly.

"I'm serious," the man whined, "Why did we have to spend so much money on everything but the beds? Do you know how unflattering that shade of grey is on me? Especially when it's everywhere? I have a wife to look hot in front of! Where's your sympathy?"

Alright, Sasuke admitted, he didn't have a fantastic eye for art, but costs needed to be cut somewhere.

"Hn. This isn't a luxury liner," Sasuke turned away from the small, circular window and strode away from Naruto dismissively. "Prepare the crew for a meeting."

"You do it," Naruto grumbled, "I'm sleeping."

Thirteen.

A lucky number.

Sasuke entered the meeting hall, which was, in all honesty, a modestly-decorated room with fake-carpet flooring and plastic seating areas, with his head held high.

His elite team comprised of the only people he'd ever managed to be around for more than twenty seconds, and to be frank, the only ones he trusted.

They weren't friends, alright. Naruto and Sai, his self-proclaimed brotherhood; Sakura, the lo- just, somebody he knows; Ino, Shikamaru and Choji, data-analysis dream-team with a tendency to erupt into intense verbal spats and midnight-snacking sessions; Hinata, Kiba and Shino, the quieter but frankly more efficient supervisor team when they're not helping out in the kitchens; and Neji, Tenten and Lee - Hyuga genius plus engineering duo equals drill squad, for some reason.

See? No 'friend' word there.

"Why so hoity-toity today?" He heard Tenten whisper to Sakura.

"Today," Sasuke said, ignoring the muffled giggles. This was why they weren't his friends. "We have reached the ultimate pinnacle of our lives-"

"-He means his life-"

"Ten," he shouted loudly, causing Naruto to jump in his seat, "Thousand. Ten thousand leagues under the sea. Just like Jules Verne."

Naruto's mouth was hanging open in affronted astonishment. "Y-"

He rolled his eyes. Fine. "That was Naruto's joke." He could take his lame joke if he wanted - tch, loser.

Ino and Sakura started clapping joyfully, so the rest of them followed through with shrill whistling and cheers.

"I'd like to thank all of you, for your work. The research, the food, the management, the engineering, the maintenance, the suffering, the happiness," he looked to Naruto and Lee in particular, "and the love. So," he walked over to the nearby storage cabinet and unlocked it, "as a token of my appreciation-"

"You had better mattresses and pillows the entire time?" They all, save for Neji, who only glared, and Shino, who hadn't spoken a word since they'd started their voyage a year ago, shouted in unison.

"Yes," he responded calmly. "It must have slipped my mind." Sasuke fixed a glare on them, daring any of the twelve to challenge his words. They didn't.

Ah, thirteen. A prestigious number.

The sleeping quarters were situated near the middle of the submarine; all doors were facing each other save for one at the end of the hallway, labelled 'Room 13'. It was Sasuke's, purely because it was the biggest room, and because-

"Sasuke, you're late," Sakura giggled, cross-legged and leaning against the headboard. There were a multitude of documents surrounding her, which she shuffled together into a large pile and placed on the ground. He smiled gently, removing his jacket and shoes before ambling over to her. "It's unbecoming of you."

"Well," he said, crawling up from the foot of the bed, "I've been a little busy."

Remaining in her seated position, Sakura smirked, watching him draw closer and closer until their noses touched.

"That's no excuse."

"You're right," he conceded, moving his arms forward and trapping her body in between his, "It's inexcusable."

"You should be punished," she whispered, letting him place a gentle kiss on her forehead, between her eyebrows, on her nose, her lips, "You so deserve it."

He growled when her hand made its way over his chest, fingers spread apart as they massaged his pectorals. Sasuke pulled his fiancé away from the headboard, wrapping her smooth legs around his hips before lowering the both of them back onto the mattress. She giggled; it sounded the Heavens were singing to him from above. Or, the local choir, since above was technically the surface.

"Sakura," he moaned, and peppered her neck with butterfly kisses before sucking, hard, on the smooth surface of her alabaster skin. "You're beautiful," he breathed.

"I know." Sasuke rolled his eyes, but chose to relish in the moment.

They'd known each other since childbirth, essentially. Them and Naruto, with their little houses perched right next to each other on the same street, with their never-ending spats and twisted love triangles and unbreakable bonds. Everyone was in their mid-thirties by now, mostly married, with a few kids at school or stressing over exam marks; it had taken Sasuke and Sakura thirty years to finally look away from their stressful jobs ("She's a doctor, yay!" quote, Mikoto Uchiha) and realise that the only people they could possibly love uncontrollably was each other.

"I love you," he said, randomly, just as Sakura was starting to make her way down his chest. She stopped, then looked up at him with starry eyes.

"I love you too," she cooed, scratching his chin affectionately, "This is the second time you've told me that."

"Hn." He gathers her up into a hug, then tucks her head into the crook of his neck.

"In thirty five years, Sasuke."

"Your point?"

"The first time was when we got engaged."

He smirked, shut his eyes, then kissed the top of her hairline. "Need an IOU?"

"No," she wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled in, "But I could use a massage every now and then."

"I'll have Neji draw up the contract tomorrow."

"You just ruined the mood, honey."

"Do I get another punishment?" His eyes lit up when she hummed and started pressing kisses onto his chest.

"Yes," she peered up at him through the curtain of her cherry-blossom hair and smirked, "You get ten thousand."

Sasuke let out a rare chuckle. "Just like Verne."

Thirteen, a fantastic number.

Disclaimer: I own nuttin'

-misspandalily