At one time, Percy didn't have a strained, seemingly non existent relationship with his dad. They were close at one point in time. In fact, Percy remembered a specific time-a memory that was in the back of his mind.

One that made his heart ache to remember.

It was late. Mummy had put everyone to bed hours ago, but Percy found he was unable to sleep. He tossed and he turned, becoming frustrated when all that happened was him feeling much too hot and his legs tangled in the blanket. He knew he wasn't supposed to be up unless he needed to use the loo, but he was thirsty and wanted some water and so, carrying his favorite blanket that his Uncle Fabian gave to him, he trotted off downstairs.

He found his daddy sitting at the kitchen table with a candle lighting up the whole room. It was his day off so instead of being away for several hours, leaving just his mummy to take care of things, they all got to be together and enjoyed a really nice dinner that his mummy prepared for them. All of daddy's favorites right down to the yummy pie and soft, creamy ice cream.

Daddy noticed him standing there and smiled tenderly. "Couldn't sleep, Perce?"

Percy nodded. "I'm not tired."

Daddy chuckled. "Why don't you come next to me and we'll have some tea, hmm? I was quite lonely being down here all by myself."

"Okay," Percy easily agreed and climbed up on the chair next to him. Daddy charmed another cup to come floating over.

"Now what has my favorite son been up to lately?"

"I thought Charlie was your favorite?" Percy laughed when Daddy ruffled his already messy hair.

"Is that what he told you?" Daddy asked, playfully.

"Yesss," Percy drew out the word.

"Ah, well, he's quite mistaken. But we'll just keep this our little secret. He's a sensitive one, your brother is. We needn't upset him," Daddy said with a twinkle in his eyes. "Now, tell me, what has Percy Weasley been up to?"

"I read a book," Percy announced with a toothy grin. "Billy's book."

"One of his school books?" Daddy clarified. Percy nodded to confirm. "Ah, which one was it?"

"Hogwarts A History," Percy was bouncing in his seat, eager to share his new found knowledge. Fred and George hadn't been all too interested in hearing about it. They had a short attention span. That's what mummy said; it's why they were everywhere at once. "Guess what I learned?"

"What?" Daddy smiled.

"No, no! Daddy, you have to guess!" Percy was adamant.

"Oh, do I? Let's see... Did you read about how the sorting works?"

"No," Percy shook his head.

"The dormitories?"

"No."

"The classes?"

"No." Grown ups should've known this stuff. But Daddy was tired so Percy didn't hold it against him.

"Well, I'm afraid I'm all out of guesses."

"The train!" Percy burst out and was subsequently shushed.

Daddy had a finger on his lips. 'We mustn't wake up, mummy. She won't be very pleased if you do."

"Okay," Percy understood and whispered this time around. He grabbed his daddy's arm, hugging it. "Love you, Daddy."

He did that, letting his parents or siblings know out of the blue just how much he loved them. Mummy loved it and gave him kisses. Billy messed up his hair and reciprocated, calling him squirt. Charlie rolled his eyes, but there was usually a hint of a smile there. The rest of his siblings were probably too young to understand. Although the twins did hug him.

"I love you, too, Percy," Daddy had that look in his eyes like mummy did when she told Percy she loved him as well. "Very, very much."

There was a sudden crash.

Percy jolted out of bed; his hair was sticking up every which way, his heart beating erratically, eyes bleary and he stumbled from having moved too quickly while his brain was still half asleep. When his eyes refocused, better after putting on his glasses, he saw his dorm mate throwing things out of his trunk in a frantic haste. One of those things had been a small book.

"What are you doing?" Percy felt a simultaneous rush of annoyance and fright. As well as embarrassment for how he'd reacted, getting out of bed like that. Like he was scared out of his wits. You had been. Had Wood seen that? Not likely. He'd yet to glance up.

Thank Merlin.

Wood did look up now but only for a moment, thoroughly distressed. "I'm looking for my whistle," he said and a pair of trousers that belonged to Wood for his uniform flew right past Percy's face. "Need it. Having Quidditch practice today."

"O-oh," Percy felt slightly more awake now, that on edge feeling lessening now that he'd calmed down somewhat. Before he could stop himself, to listen to the inner voices that told him to go back to bed, he asked, "Why do you need a whistle?"

"To get their attention, of course," Wood said like it made perfect sense and to him, it likely did. That was another part of his fanaticism, no measure was ever unnecessary or too extreme. He'd do whatever it took to win.

"Right," Percy said, awkwardly. If you played, you'd know that but you don't. You aren't good enough for that. Wood only wants the best, anyway and you're nowhere near the best. "Of course."

Wood's attention diverted from Percy to fully focusing on his missing whistle, his desperation more apparent now that it wasn't in the place he assumed it would be in. "I just had it!" he exclaimed. Percy knew that because he'd caught his dorm mate meticulously cleaning it with some foul smelling polish that filled up the dorm until it squeaked and shined. Percy's thoughts began to drift and he didn't see Wood looking at him, asking a question.

"What?" Percy was startled.

"Have you seen it?" Wood said distractedly. "Can't find it anywhere and I don't want to be late!"

The sun had not yet risen into the sky. It was dark out but with a faint light to it, so it wouldn't be that bad for flying but Percy couldn't imagine Professor McGonagall was going to be pleased to learn that they'd started practicing before dawn, even with how much of a quidditch fan she was, too. "What time is it?" As he wondered, Percy yawned behind his hand.

"Almost five."

He's mad

What lunatic gets up this early?

Wood does, apparently

You knew he did

Not this early! This can't be healthy, surely

He must have had a look to him. Wood said, "The rest of the team isn't happy either but they won't be complaining when we win the cup!"

Which is months away. "Right," Percy said, slowly.

"We really ought to have gotten together during the holidays to practice," Wood was saying. "I made my cousins do it with me but they're dreadful."

"Why...why didn't you just take a break?" Percy rubbed his forearm. "It was the holidays."

Wood looked like he was at a loss for words.

He wasn't.

"Quiddich doesn't take a holiday!"

Of course it doesn't

Percy felt awkward just standing there in the middle of the dorm, barefoot and in his wrinkly hand me down pajamas that were previously used by Bill, then passed down to Charlie and now him. They were stretched at certain areas, patches having to be sown on the knees because Charlie roughhoused in them and a lengthening charm had to be put on it more than once. These were to last him for a while until it was time to pass down to one of the twins or Ron, but all three of them had grown faster faster than Percy did at their age and so he got to keep them as his very own-if twice hand me downs could be counted as such.

"Suppose I'll just...go back to bed," Percy mumbled.

"Why don't you come to practice with me?" Wood suggested. He was underneath his bed, accidentally hitting it and letting out an ow. He slid out, rubbing the spot and looking disgruntled at not finding his lost item.

Percy didn't know what to say. "Come to practice with you?"

"Yeah," Wood said. "It'd be great. Get some fresh air, watch some quidditch. What could be better?"

Many things

Staying away from you

From everyone

Fred and George will be there

They'll say something

They'll do something

And they've done enough already

"No," Percy's breathing changed, it was heavier now. "No. No. I shouldn't."

"Why not?" Wood frowned.

"I just..." Tell him the truth! You don't need to give him an explanation! "I just don't want to...I'm tired."

"You're always tired," Wood noted.

"Yes, well-"

"But you're never sleeping."

"Yes, I am," Percy didn't like this. It felt confrontational. Or close to it. He didn't like confrontations. "Yes, I do. You're not just paying attention."

Wood snorted.

Percy tensed.

"Oh, bugger off with that nonsense. I see you just laying there most of the time. Don't you think you should, you know, get up every once and a while or something?" Wood remarked. "Can't be good for you to stay there long as you do."

"I get up," Percy said, weakly. "I do."

"When?" Wood didn't believe him. He stopped looking at that moment to stand tall and look the red-head in the eye. It was unnerving. "I hardly see you doing anything at all lately if you're not going to class or to the loo."

Percy began to sweat. This was...this was starting to become a confrontation. Wood was going to get louder until he was yelling. Other people were going to hear. Other people were going to get woken up and he would be blamed because of it. People weren't going to blame Wood; they liked Wood, he was fun and upbeat, the complete opposite of stuffy Percy who kept his nose buried in a book or enforced the rules that no one wanted to follow.

They'll have something else to bother you about

Because they don't like you

They've never liked you

Boring, stuffy Percy

"It's not healthy," Wood lowered his volume, looking earnest. "You can't just stay there for the whole year. You'll miss out on everything."

What is 'everything' exactly?

As far as I'm concerned, I am missing out on nothing

"I fail to see how this is any of your business," Percy felt an urgent need to fold his arms across his chest to cover up the naked feeling that wasn't going away. He was fully clothed, yet the way Wood was looking at him made him uneasy.

"Suppose it isn't," Wood frowned, "but anyone can see it. You should get out. Do something. Find Clearwater or some other Prefect friend of yours to get together with."

"No, thank you," Percy said, flatly. The last thing he wanted or needed was Wood to take on some pseudo of a parenting role for him. This was just like when his mum had her moments of trying to persuade him into putting his book away and going outside. Go find a quaffle and play with your brothers, she'd say to him so it would give her at least half an hour of time to clean the house or settle down for a nice rest with a book of her own as she listened to the wireless.

Never mind the fact that his brothers-and Ginny later on-weren't interested in playing with him.

"I'm fine staying here."

He hoped to convey a sense of finality so Wood wouldn't bother him anymore. It must have worked. Wood coughed, nodding for no reason. He gathered up his quidditch uniform. "Guess I'll see if anyone's seen it," he said to himself like he was deliberately trying to show to Percy that they were done talking and he'd moved on. The red-head was still in his place when his dorm mate spared him one last glance before leaving.

Percy hated sunshine sometimes.

It was illogical, for what reason did he have to despise it for? The notion would've sounded mad to anyone else and he knew better to keep it to himself than for people to have another tick on a list of why they thought he was a loon. But it made perfect sense to him. Perhaps it was alright if it didn't to others.

Sunshine was cheery. Sunshine represented happiness. A state in which Percy didn't feel all too often. Sunshine meant people were out to enjoy it, urging others to do the same. His mum did that. She couldn't understand what was keeping him from going out like his siblings. They enjoyed themselves. Despite not being gifted with the same athleticism as them, he wished he could have a similar energy; to go outside and do something without feeling like he was a phony. He came to resent it, silly as that was.

Resentment and a twinge of guilt. Guilt because he couldn't do an action as simple as merely being able to sit under the sun without a second thought. His inability to do so only paved to make him stand out, whether other people noticed or not. He did. He noticed. He wasn't like his siblings or the other blokes in his year. Everyone else was making else was happy. Everyone else didn't feel like the odd one out.

Percy's thoughts were halted when Wood came back. It'd been hours since he left, possibly afternoon, post lunchtime. It can't be the morning still because the sun was too high in the sky for it to be. His dorm mate trailed in, having stopped in front of the doorway, accidentally meeting Percy's eyes. He tore them away after a few, painfully palpable seconds passed by. He dumped his uniform on the floor beside his bed. He inhaled and Percy could easily infer that he was struggling to come up with appropriate words. He wished he wouldn't.

Just move along, Percy thought with desperation. Please. I don't want to talk. Just go. Please.

Wood came to the edge of his bed, facing Percy. His eyes kept flickering from the red-head to something else, his lips thinning out, swallowing thickly. Percy didn't like it. He didn't like the attention being spent on him. It felt suffocating. He felt an impulse to leap from the bed and hide in the lavatory. Anything to get away.

"Practice was good," Wood began with a smile that never reached his eyes. Percy didn't know why he was being told this. "First time getting together with everyone, you know. They weren't terrible today but definitely poorer than last term. I think they got a little too used to Angie's ways. Do you know that they waited until nearly midmorning to commence practice? Absolute rubbish, I tell you. Angie's great, but she's a little too lax to be captain. I'll fix that, though. I was planning on making her my replacement after graduation."

Percy threw off his blanket. It was too hot in there. He didn't take off the pajama trousers and those happened to be of a thicker material better suited for the winter than autumn where the temperature was oftentimes changing from a chilly one to a warm one.

"Oh, I found my whistle! Fred and George took it and hid it on me. Not sure when but you never know with those two. Sneaky little buggers. Course, I don't have to tell you that."

Wood's needless, frankly annoying chatter was wearing on his nerves. He tried to tune it out, count out numbers in his head backwards starting from one hundred.

One hundred, ninety-nine, ninety-eight...

"I think we should talk about...well, you know."

It effectively sucked out the semi decent mood that had been going on and the air from the atmosphere.

Percy didn't get a chance to retort, to protest because Wood cut in. "Don't say there's nothing to talk about. You've put it off long enough."

"I don't want to," Percy swallowed. "No. I can't. I won't. I-"

"Are you scared?" Wood asked, gently. "It's alright if you are. You don't have to be, though."

I am not scared

That is ridiculous

Then what would you call it, hmm?

You won't say anything

It's none of his business!

You're worried about what he'll say

You're worried the twins will find out

You're worried about what they'll say

Because you know how they are

Percy jumped to his feet. Wood did as well, looking wary. "I don't have to tell you anything!"

"You should," Wood said, calmly. "Look, it'll help you. You shouldn't keep it all bottled up like that. You'll explode one day if you do."

Wood wasn't backing down. He didn't shout, he didn't yell. He made his thoughts known but kept his cool. But none of that mattered. Percy didn't like it. He was going to make a beeline for the bathroom, as cowardly as that was. It never happened. Wood took his arm in a grasp, preventing him from leaving. It made Percy feel entirely powerless, panicked, and he didn't know if he should expect his dorm mate to take a swing at him or not.

"Hang on a minute," Wood pleaded. "Hear me out, okay? I just want to help you."

You can help me by letting me go!

"Let me go," Percy said through grit teeth. "Let me go now!"

"Would you just wait-"

"I said now!"

"But-"

"Why can't you just stop bothering me and leave me alone!"

Percy's bellow gave Wood a fright to where he stepped back, he also let up on his hold on the red-head, freeing him in a split second.

For the first time in a while, Wood's temperament flared. "Why can't you let me help you!"

"Because I don't need help!"

"You clearly do!"

"That's a lie," Percy said, heatedly.

"Is it? That's why I found you about to kill yourself. But you're right, you're just fine!" Wood snapped.

Percy felt the time standing still. He felt physically ill.

Wood looked like he immediately regretted saying that. "Percy," he breathed, trying to take a step towards him, "I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"Get away," Percy whispered, brokenly.

"Come on, I didn't mean it-"

Percy whirled around to the other way, intent on running to the lavatory because there was nowhere else for him to go. He never made it there, though. His lack of eating caught up with him and so did an onset of dizziness that left the room spinning. Wood's voice sounded distant. The door to the loo seemed so far away. The next thing Percy knew was that he was going down. That is, until Wood sprung into action and seized him before he hit the ground.

So that's twice now that he's helped you

His legs were oddly bent, it was somewhat painful. His vision slowly returned to normal. Wood had one arm under his rib cage, the other near his neck. His dorm mate's grip was firm-it had to be, in order for him to hold him up like that. Otherwise they'd have both fallen. He came to it eventually, not liking the position they were in. Percy didn't like the close contact, the body heat against his, the sweaty skin, the unpleasant smell coming from Wood's antiperspirant.

It was awful.

"You alright?" Wood asked, concerned. It was right behind Percy's ear and he cringed.

"M'fine," Percy mumbled, the humiliation creeping up.

"Right, erm, I'll help you," Wood moved his arms so he was still supporting Percy but it was more comfortable for the both of them. Or, comfortable for Percy. He guided the red-head back to his bed, which wasn't far and aided him as he sat down.

The feeling that came over was mostly gone for now, except a bit of lightheadedness lingered. Percy didn't trust himself to move. Wood must have sensed that. He started to talk again. There was no way for Percy to escape it.

"I'm sorry," Wood repeated, all miserable looking and immensely guilty. "I shouldn't have said it.

Percy only wrung his hands.

"I want to help you. I...I do. I need to. You need it."

Percy shook his head many times. "I don't need help."

"You do. You do need it-"

"No, no," Percy said, shakily. "No, I don't need it. I'm not mad!"

"No one said-"

"I'm not mad! I'm not!"

"Okay," Wood sounded uncertain, then added agreeably, "You're not mad."

Percy's passionate words slowed down to a mumble. "Mad people need help. I'm not mad. I'm not."

"I know you're not," Wood touched his forearm, not reacting when Percy jerked his arm away. "But that doesn't mean you don't need help. We all do sometimes."

Percy squeezed his eyes shut, grabbing two fistfuls of his blanket.

"I know you don't want help. I get it. I do, Percy. But you need it. You can't keep going like this."

Percy's eyes were glossy again. Wood scooted closer, his eyes locked on the red-heads face while he looked down at his lap. "I suppose...I...you're going to tell her, aren't you?" His voice was croaky.

"Tell who? McGonagall?" Wood clarified. He seemed to think about it.

"Please," Percy choked out. "Please. Don't tell her."

Wood didn't like that idea. "Percy-"

"Please, you don't understand!" His eyes were overflowing with tears. He was panicking. Wood swallowed. "You don't. Please! You can't tell her. Promise me you won't!"

"I dunno mate," Wood said, conflicted. "It's not something we should keep to ourselves. What's the worst that could happen? McGonagall could help you."

"No," Percy whimpered. "She won't."

"How do you know?"

"She'll ruin everything," Percy's whisper was nearly inaudible.

"What?" Wood didn't understand. "What do you mean-"

"Everything I've worked for will be for nothing," Percy exhaled.

"I don't understand," Wood admitted.

"Don't you get it? If she knows, she'll send me to St. Mungos and everything-" Percy's voice cracked. "Everything I've done will be for nothing."

"Why?" Wood was still clueless.

"They'll all think of me as mad," Percy whispered. "No one will hire me. No one will want me. Fred and George will have a field day with that..."

Percy flopped down on his back, loathing how he sniffled like a small child needing comfort.

But you are like one

Wood leaned back, too. Propped up by his elbow, a hint of a frown on his lips. Percy felt he was too close for comfort. Not to mention it felt entirely too intimate for two people that couldn't be considered acquaintances in the very least. It was his dorm mate that broke the piercing silence. With a question that sent knives into Percy's skin. "Did you do it because of them?"

"Wha-What?"

"Because of them. The twins. Did you try to...die because of them?"

It was the second time now that Wood directly referred to his-technically-near death. It wasn't any less jarring than the last time. He just didn't expect that kind of question. It was certainly thought provoking. Had he? He took too long to respond. Wood hastily apologized. "Sorry. Suppose I shouldn't of-"

"It's okay," Percy moved his head to catch a better glimpse of his dorm mate's face. Looking out of his peripheral vision only worsened his headache. He didn't know why he was saying that, sparing Wood's feelings when he didn't really give a dragon's dung about it. "I...I don't know."

"Bet it didn't help," Wood muttered.

It wasn't a remark he was used to hearing. People didn't usually negatively reference Fred and George. The Slytherins, sure, that was a given. Most liked them. Liked how confident and funny they were without trying. Which is the exact opposite of you. You aren't confident. You aren't funny.

Percy was at a loss for words.

It was well into the afternoon, nearing toward dinner. They hadn't moved from their spots on the bed. Wood must have lost feeling in his left arm, he maneuvered so now he was on his back, staring up at the top of Percy's bed right along with him. Hours passed by since one of them spoke.

"How long have you felt like this?"

Percy's eyelids fluttered open. They'd closed but he wasn't falling asleep, He needed a rest. Needed to shield his eyes from the bright light. The sun was beginning to set. It took some of the edge off. "Like what?" He pretended not to know what his dorm mate was talking about.

"You know...all sad," Wood stumbled over his words. "S'not like you. I mean I don't think it's like you."

"I don't know," Percy repeated. It wasn't much of an answer. It wasn't much of anything. He didn't know. It just kind of came up suddenly and swept him up like a wave.

"And no one else knows?" Wood asked, not looking at him. "Not even your family?"

Especially not them

"No," Percy said.

"I just don't understand-" Wood trailed off. "Why would you-why would...why did you want to die?"

Percy flinched. "I didn't."

Wood was flabbergasted. "But you-"

"It didn't mean I wanted to die," Percy's voice was hardly loud, but in the midst of the deafening silence in the dorm room, he might as well have been shouting. Get it together, Weasley. "I didn't. I didn't want to die, I swear I didn't."

"Then why did you try?"

"I couldn't take it anymore," Percy murmured.

"Take what? Everyone laughing at you because of Friday?"

"No, it's-'' Percy didn't know how to explain. Nor did he want to. "It isn't just one thing."

Wood nodded slowly.

"It's everything...I just..." Percy's face reddened at his lack of articulation. "I can't talk about this-" Wood started to protest. "I can't. I can't. I just can't." I've said enough already. "Please just drop it. Please."

Wood didn't want to. That was obvious. He wanted to keep going, to find out everything there was to know. Oblivious to how exhausted Percy was, even with the little talking he'd done so far. "Alright...But you know I care, right?"

Percy straight up, disbelieving at his dorm mate's audacity. "You care?"

"Of course," Wood sat up, too. He inched away, not far, but evidently he noticed how Percy didn't seem thrilled per se about that. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Why wouldn't you!" Percy was back on his feet, spluttering.

Wood got to his feet, hesitantly.

"You acted like I didn't exist for nearly seven years!" Percy said, furiously. Wood flinched. He couldn't deny it. He couldn't say anything. "You've not had a proper conversation with me since our first year and you expect me to believe any of this?"

Wood tried to defend himself. "I'm trying to make things right-"

"Well I don't want any of it!"

"Well you need it!"

"You're mad," Percy scowled. He turned, nearly going into early heart failure when Wood zoomed around and was right in front of him. He swore loudly, uncaring if anyone might hear. "What the-"

"Why don't you trust me?" Wood asked, abruptly.

"What-"

"And don't tell me it's because we haven't talked much. Honestly. Tell me why you don't trust me because I don't get it."

"I don't have to explain myself," Percy might have been calm on the outside, but on the inside he was not. He didn't like his dorm mate being that close. Like he had been on the bed.

"I'm not saying-" Wood paused and started over. "It doesn't make sense. Alright so I've not been a very good dorm mate to you. Could've been better. But what else have I possibly done to make you hate me?"

He didn't hate him.

At times, a couple years ago in fact, he had moments of feeling jealous towards Wood for his effortless ability to be liked by everyone else, how he was able to mostly rein in the twins and they actually seemed to respect him like they did Bill and Charlie. It hurt. It really did hurt. More than once, Percy had wished to be similar to Wood. Just a shimmer. Just one opportunity to feel different than how he felt right now.

But he didn't hate him.

Most days, he was too tired for much of anything. Let alone using all that energy to hate someone who barely knew he was there. He didn't hate him.

But he didn't like him either.

"I don't hate you," Percy vocalized his thoughts.

"Okay," Wood nodded. "Good to know."

He was being patronizing.

Percy didn't like it. His lips thinned out. "I don't hate you. I don't. I just-" Wood waited for him to finish instead of interrupting. It only made for his confidence-little as it already-to waver. "I just don't like you," he said lamely.

Wood hummed. "That's alright."

Percy didn't believe him. "It is?"

"Well sure," Wood nodded. "I don't expect you to after, well, you know." He rubbed the back of his neck, sheepishly. "Acting like you were a stranger for, what, six years now. Hope it'll get better, though."

It won't

It never will

I don't want to be your friend or to like you

I just want to everything to go back to the way it was