AU: Neji finds himself stranded in the centre of the Earth, and with no Wi-Fi to boot.

Pairings: NejixTenten

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Thank you to all of you beautiful human beings who left a review last chapter! Your feedback means the world to me, and don't worry - Bodyguard P3 is in the works.

It was a recipe for disaster, right from the very start.

No one in their right mind should have been comfortable with tunnelling deep into the earth's core, purely for money. Unfortunately, Neji, being the fool he was last week, hadn't foreseen that Sasuke's ridiculously expensive, adamantium steel driller would break down the moment they arrived at their destination. He should've known better than to accept one million dollars for this - ten would have been a more plausible option.

How many times did he have to accompany Sasuke on his ridiculous, Verne-inspired shenanigans before he learned not to?

Neji grabbed a blaster from his trunk and strapped the handle onto his armoured chest. At the very least, if there were any malicious life forms at the centre of the earth, he'd be able to defend himself.

Sasuke's announcement for departure blared through the speakers. "Report to the opening hatch in five."

Neji arrived there in two, because his room was closest to the door, and greeted Sasuke with a firm nod. "Is everyone coming?"

"Of course," the Uchiha replied assertively, "This is a monumental occasion."

They were all nearing their thirties, all graduated and tired from labouring through the workforce's ranks. Sasuke was an army general with a knack for spotting what others could not, Naruto was a Lieutenant who always found an occasion to insert his voice and opinion into other people's business, and frankly Neji blamed Naruto for their predicament. If the blonde hadn't encouraged Hinata for join him, and thereby Neji as a chaperone, they wouldn't be in this mess and he would be lounging in his office with a wi-fi connection. Then there was Ino and Sakura, the medics of the team, and Choji, Shikamaru and Kiba and Shino and Lee of all people, and this driller was too small for the lot of them but who was he to judge?

Neji was in this for the money. The point is, he felt none of Sasuke's sentiment when the man led them out of the driller and into the shockingly leafy, ginormous forests around them. Neji stuck close to Hinata, grateful for Naruto's presence on the other side, because all of this greenery and the sweltering hotness of the climate was making him nauseous.

"Up ahead," he heard the flash of a camera - Shino's - and Sakura's voice whisper out to them from the front of the line. "There's-there's water." And she was right.

There was a thundering waterfall not far from their current location, and as Neji edged closer towards the sound, he saw a mountainous body of white water streaming down from the edge of a cliff, forming droplets of colour wherever the sun hit it.

Wait, Sun?

Neji looked up, covered part of his face with his hands and confirmed his earlier assumption. There was a sun, suspended kilometres above him and contrasting brilliantly against the canopy of trees on the other side of the earth's core. He felt like he was dreaming, which only made his paranoia worse, because this wasn't a dream and the entire crew was stuck in this weird nature-world for an indefinite amount of time.

The others didn't seem to share his sentiment. They whooped and cheered and rushed towards the pool of water at the foot of the fall and splashed their faces with it.

"It's warm!" They shouted, flailing their arms about for Neji to join in. He didn't want to, so he shook his head and resumed patrol around the perimeter of the area. Peaceful though this forest seemed to be, they were still in unchartered territory and things could go south (or was it north?) in a split second. Sasuke caught on to Neji's mindset and, with a quick nod, moved to patrol the other side of the pool. Neji then deemed it safe to venture into the growth to prod for any food that could sustain them. If there was anything here that they could eat until Sasuke figured out something for the machine, he would gladly search for it. That was, he would have been if he didn't feel the prick of a needle-sharp object sink into his upper bicep seconds later.

Neji sank to the ground, unseen and unheard.

He awoke, some time later, in a pleasantly-lit room filled with the soft sound of humming lights and chattering voices. Ah, back in the driller. He closed his eyes, surmising that Naruto had probably pranked him with a dart while he wasn't looking, but shot them open again when he realised Naruto's aim was horrendous. There was no way on earth that he could've pulled off such a feat, so that meant Neji was kidnapped. A cruel line of reasoning, but his assumptions were yet again confirmed when he took in his surroundings.

He was in a cell, most likely, if the barred door and metal bed-table were any indication. Neji sat up and immediately rushed to the rectangular hole in the door.

The outside was horrifying.

He was met with the sight of beasts crawling around a (surprisingly) sleek lobby area, led by the leash by groups of strangely-human creatures who were dressed in thin garments that flowed with every footsteps. The logical side of his brain went haywire. He knew, somewhat, that there would be life in the centre of the earth, because there were trees and water and a Sun and so obviously there would at least be some insects or aquatic creatures, but this - this was insane. An entire civilisation, thriving and functioning beneath the hustle and bustle of everything Neji was familiar with.

Someone caught sight of him and tilted her (Was this creature really a 'her'? Or, was Neji just labelling genders now? He didn't really know what to think) head to the side inquisitively. Neji darted away from the hole and patted down his body for any defence mechanisms. Whoever had brought him here in the first place had taken away his weaponry and armour. Neji was trapped inside a cell with a simple pair of cargo pants and a t-shirt. In the bloody centre of the earth. He'd repeated that phrase in his head enough times for reality to finally kick in, and he really, really, hated reality at the moment.

There was a knock at the door, and a click of the latch, and all of a sudden Neji found himself face to face with the woman from earlier. His breathed hitched in his throat.

She was beautiful, for a strange creature, had tanned, glowing skin, and radiant brown hair that glimmered with gold under the light of the room. The woman continued to stare at him with her large, brown eyes. He held her gaze, mesmerised, until she turned around to the lobby area and let out a piercing shriek.

Neji flinched, stumbled back to his bed-table and grasped around for anything that could serve as a weapon. She strode towards him calmly, with the trained elegance of a fighter, and withdrew an obsidian black blade from the folds of her colourful skirts.

"Stop!" He shouted, hands placed before his chest in a panicked, placating gesture. She did, and adopted the curious stare from before.

"S-Stop?" Neji froze when she put away the blade and leaned towards him eagerly. "English?"

What?

Neji nodded quickly when she asked her question again. "Yes, yes. English. I speak English."

She gasped in delight. "Oh, thank goodness. I was going to explode from all the shrieking they do around here. Sorry about the knife, I was under orders to kill you if you were a threat, but you'll be fine now. You must be from the surface world! I recognised the Calvin Klein shirt. Classic design. Man, it's been a while since I went back up there. Anyway, what's your name? I'm Tenten."

Tenten quickly realised that Neji was close to fainting, then paced herself. "Hey, are you okay?"

He shook his head several times before settling himself back down to the table. The creature wasn't a creature. She was human. From the surface. She knew what brands were. Her name was Tenten.

Kami, he really shouldn't have strayed from the group.