Percy wasn't stupid.

He knew something was going on, he just couldn't decipher what it was at the moment. But he knew it was something; Wood's nervous behavior was quite obvious. His dorm mate wasn't as sly or subtle as he thought he was. By no means was he fooling anyone.

Percy had tried asking but that was a failure.

If he asked, he would get a roundabout answer, a deflection. So he kept it to himself. Rather, he observed Wood closely in hopes that he could figure it out on his own and then go to him about it. There came a feeling, a nagging one that nipped continuously at him. Whatever this was, could it possibly be about him? No, no. That was stupid, right?

It's not always about you

The world doesn't revolve around you

Even so, he couldn't shake it off. Maybe he was being paranoid. It was certainly possible. It's just...the things he noticed were strange. It started when Wood came to the library looking for him. He'd been greatly reluctant to speak of his visit with Professor McGonagall. It might not have seemed like a huge deal to others and even he pondered if he was simply overreacting-but it wasn't only his silence that Percy found odd. It was his behavior that sparked further interest.

Wood was nervous. Jittery. Troubled.

It wasn't like the times when he was all riled up for the outcome of an important quidditch game or like the one astronomy exam they sat through when, prior to that, Wood was lamenting over not understanding anything. No, no. Nothing like that. This was different. The fear, the tension within the room was palpable. It wasn't coming from Percy this time.

Wood kept exhaling sharply, semi pacing and rubbing his hands down his thighs. Those signs. Percy knew those signs. He'd experienced them. Those were the signs of something being wrong but he was trying to hide it anyway. It sent an uneasy wave through Percy's stomach. Percy racked his brain as he tried to understand. Something had gotten him on edge but what was it? That, Percy was unable to conclude. It couldn't have been quidditch related; he was fairly sure the reaction would have been much more severe.

Despite the overwhelming suspicion he had, Percy tried to put it out of his brain. He went to sleep that night, telling himself that the whole thing would be over by tomorrow morning. Wood would be back to his usual self.

But that wasn't what happened.

The next morning during breakfast, the two of them were sitting down in the Great Hall in their usual spot. Down the table, Lee Jordan's gaze kept flickering over to Wood. there was something akin to concentration in his expression, as if he were still trying to figure out and fully comprehend their placement they had going on.

Percy used his fork to roll one of his sausages over. He hadn't had much of a choice this morning. This was all Wood's doing. His dormmate had been in the midst of making his own plate, plopping a generous spoonful of eggs, a couple sausages and some fresh fruit on the plate when he suddenly 'realized' that the fruit was touching his eggs. Evidently, he didn't like that and told Percy that he couldn't-wouldn't-eat it.

This little charade fell flat. Percy didn't fall for it whatsoever. He'd seen the way Wood ate when he was famished after a long quidditch practice. Food touching didn't bother him in the least. It was clearly a deliberate attempt at getting him to eat something other than cereal-and in hopes that he would have more than just a few bites like he typically did.

He's treating you like a child

Don't you realize that?

He thinks the only way to get you to something is to lie

He doesn't care about you

If he did, he would treat you like you're of age

Which you are

Just goes to show how much of a liar he is

And how gullible you are

You believed him, didn't you?

You thought he would actually want to be your friend

Pathetic

But we all know that

Perfect Prefect Percy is pathetic

There were so many things Percy wanted to say. For starters, he wanted to absolutely scream at the juvenile treatment he was receiving. Wood was the same age as him. He had no right to do any of this. But as much as he yearned to do something about it, it would only end being futile. And so, he didn't argue. He knew Wood would take that as some kind of win; that his words and his gestures and ridiculous attempts were working.

They weren't.

But he accepted the plate regardless and began to eat. The eggs were warm and the sausage was savory. It was a nice flavor on his tongue, admittedly more so than the cereal was. Halfway through the meal, Professor McGonagall came striding down the pathway that was in between two of the tables. It was strange; she didn't keep on going but rather, she stopped to stand next to Wood. Not only that, but Percy would have expected her gaze to be on him but it wasn't. Her eyes landed on Wood in a sort of soft way that he'd never seen to her before. In spite of being confused, he didn't question it out loud or stare. He didn't want to be called out for it.

"How are you today, Mr. Wood?" She asked. Her voice was at a low level, presumably so no one else would hear them. At least not easily.

Wood stiffened. His eyes darted to Percy and then down to the table. His nervousness was back, as evident by that little laugh he did, rubbing the back of his neck. "Fine, Professor."

Professor McGonagall pulled down her spectacles slightly to peer at him. She was not wholly convinced. "You're sure of that?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Wood said.

"And you'll let myself or your other professors know if that changes?" Professor McGonagall said.

"Yes, Professor," Wood mumbled.

She nodded, satisfied and then left them be.

Percy watched her leave, not knowing what to make of that little exchange. He put his attention back onto his dormmate, who was trying to act nonchalant about the whole thing.

"How's your eggs?" Wood was horrible at playing innocent.

"What was that about?" Percy frowned.

"Nothing," Wood's smile wasn't convincing.

"It has to be something," Percy's mind wouldn't let it rest. Professor McGonagall didn't just naturally go around asking the students if they were okay. She'd never done that in all the time that he'd been at Hogwarts.

Wood waved it off. "Don't worry about it."

But Percy did worry.

The next clue came when they were in Defense class. It happened at the end when they had their belongings all gathered up to leave, just like that one day when Professor Lupin stopped Percy from leaving so he could talk to him. But this time it wasn't to speak to Percy. No, it was for Wood. He'd stopped by Wood's desk, murmuring for him to stay for a moment or two. Wood had immediately glanced at Percy then shifted his attention back onto Professor Lupin, clearing his throat and nodding.

"Mr. Weasley," Professor Lupin said when the rest of the class had dispersed, "would you mind waiting out in the hall while I talk to Mr. Wood for a moment?"

Wood didn't protest this. Percy found that to be odd considering the fuss he'd made previously about him being out of his sight-which again was him being treated like some kind of child. His dormmate shut his eyes and looked away. Why? Why was he reacting that way? Why were the professors suddenly acting like he was made of glass? He wanted to ask. He wanted to get his questions answered but at that moment, he couldn't. Quietly, he picked up his school bag and made his way out of the room.

All the while, his mind kept replaying it. What was going on that he didn't know about? What was Wood not telling him?

What was he hiding from him?

This is why you can't trust him

He isn't a friend

He doesn't care

He's hiding something from you because he doesn't trust you

Or he's done something

You know it's true

Face the facts

He confronted his dormmate later on when they got back to their dormitory. Wood was shifting through his plays again for the next game when Percy spoke up. Thus far, he'd been relatively silent but he couldn't be any longer.

"What are you not telling me?" Percy didn't look at him. He exhaled slowly.

He didn't see the flash of nervousness that crossed Wood's face but he did hear the quill that his dormmate was holding drop to the floor. "What?"

"What are you not telling me?" Percy repeated. "I know it's something. I'm not stupid."

"I never said-"

"I know you're hiding something," Percy told him. "I just don't know what it is."

The tension within the room grew.

"I'm not," Wood mumbled. His papers rustled, peace was disturbed and Percy wondered if his dormmate would flee the room at any given second.

It felt like they weren't going to get anywhere beyond that. So far, Wood had only repeatedly denied that anything was going on and there was only so many times that Percy could go through the conversation again.

So he gave up.

/

It was late. The room was pitch black except for the light shining in from the moon. Both Percy and Wood were in their respective beds. It was relatively silent until his dormmate began talking out of nowhere.

"So," Wood said and Percy couldn't imagine where this conversation was heading. Surely not as a means of answering his questions. That topic was abandoned, never to be touched on again. "Are you going home for Christmas?"

"It's November," was all Percy said.

"It's close," Wood said. Percy practically heard the shrug that accompanied it.

"It's forty days away," Percy didn't want to have to think about that quite yet. Not when he didn't have to.

"Right, but it'll go by fast," Wood persisted.

Too fast

"I suppose," Percy muttered.

"Guess you haven't decided yet?" Wood said.

What's there to think about? Percy thought. It wasn't like he would get a choice in the matter. He was expected to come home. Not doing it wasn't an option. It would only be him going out of his way to make his image amongst the family worse. They already thought little of him, assuming cared more about his own self, more about his grades and future career than them, which was so far from the truth. It just killed him on the inside to know that's what they believed.

It's not like you've proven otherwise

But even with all that in mind, he didn't want to go home.

He should have known better. It should have pushed those thoughts out of his mind for good but it didn't. He kept envisioning how the holidays would go, how they always went. It was never as fun and exciting for him like it was for his parents and his siblings. It did nothing to ease the feeling of being an outsider in his own house. It was difficult not to feel that way. What, with everyone being so radiantly happy and enjoying themselves with all the Christmas cheer-

And then there was Percy, who felt all alone in spite of being around everyone else.

How could he experience holiday cheer when he couldn't even feel happy on regular days?

Wood seemed to have understood what his silence meant. "Oh..." It sounded like he was rolling over in bed, likely to face Percy. "Can't you just say no?"

If that would work don't you think I would have tried it?

"No."

Wood contemplated this. "You could come to my house," he offered. "My parents wouldn't mind."

Somehow, Wood didn't understand that staying in his house was the absolute last thing he'd ever do. Being back at the Burrow, while familiar, was anxiety-inducing enough; but to be in a house he'd never been in, with complete strangers that he'd never met before would be pushing the limit of tolerability.

"I'd mind," Percy's voice punctured through the darkness.

"Are you sure?" Wood asked. "Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as you think."

It will be

You just don't understand

"I'm sure."

"I'm sorry," Wood said the two words he despised the most.

"You don't have to be."

"But I am," Wood sighed. "It's not fair to you."

He shrugged. Wood didn't see it. "It happens."

"We'll figure it out."

"There's nothing to figure out-" Percy started to say.

"Sure there is," Wood's voice went lower to a softer tone. "You deserve to be happy at Christmas."

"No one deserves anything."

Much less you

"Don't do that, Percy."

"Don't do what?" Percy said tiredly.

"You know what. Thinking like-" Percy saw his hand gesturing vaguely. "That."

"Specific," Percy's mutter was laced with a tinge of crankiness.

Wood heard him. "I mean...like you're sad."

I'm not..sad

What are you, then?

I don't know. It's hard to explain

Wood wasn't letting this go. "You're always sounding like you're sad."

Did Wood expect him to have some sort of response to that?

"I-"

"Can't you just..." Wood was thinking. Probably screwing up his face like he tended to do when that happened. "Think happy thoughts or something?"

Why didn't I think of that? A flare of anger surged through him. Bitterness.

That was something his parents would say.

That was something they would think was helpful.

But it wasn't.

It wasn't that simple.

It was hard to have happy thoughts when a continuous black cloud lurked above him constantly.

Wood heard him scoff. "Did I say-"

"You think it's that simple." It was a statement.

"Well...isn't it?" Wood mumbled cluelessly. "Just don't think about it."

You have no idea what you're talking about

"Haven't you tried?"

Percy's chest heaved. "You have no idea what I've tried."

"I'm just staying-" Wood was starting to stumble with his words.

Percy was on his feet faster than he had been in a while. "Do you think I enjoy feeling this way?"

Wood was sitting up now. Percy didn't have to see his face. He didn't want to. "No! Of course not."

"Don't you think I want to be happy again and feel like everyone else?" Percy said. "I can't, okay? I can't. I've tried and I can't. I don't know what else to do."

Wood didn't say anything.

"And I can't just think happy thoughts. That does nothing for me. I can't be happy when I can't even pretend to be," Percy was shaking. His breathing was coming out choppy. The silence that took over the dormmate was different. It was suffocating. "I've tried to tell myself everything's fine, that I'm just overreacting, it's all okay. It doesn't work!" Wood flinched. "I know you think you can fix me and I'll be alright soon enough but you can't, Wood. I'm not some quidditch play you can memorize and successfully complete."

They stared at each other for what seemed like hours.

They need not see each other's faces. They knew what they were looking at.

Wood got to his feet. Nothing that suggested he was upset was evident to Percy. He took one footstep forward, making a light thud. "I don't want to fix you," he was firm. "I'm not trying to fix you. I want to help you. I've told you that dozens of times! Do you know how that was for me, seeing you about to jump to your bloody death that night?"

Percy scoffed, shaking his head as he looked up at the ceiling. "Yes, because this is all about you! Tell me, Wood, how did that make you feel?"

"Helpless!" Wood shot out. Percy found himself at a loss for words.

"What are you-"

The fire within Wood seemed to have died down. "You shattered everything I thought I knew about you." He let out a humorless snort. "I thought you were nothing more than a stuck up prick who had his life all together because that's what you made everyone believe. And then I-" His voice cracked. "I saw you about to jump and then you cried and I saw what your brothers were doing and I realized-" He let out a deep breath. His arms went up halfway and then back limply at his sides. "I was wrong, Percy and I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Percy's throat was tight.

"And I'm sorry about what I said, Merlin," he put his hand on his forehead. He started to pace. "I don't know how to help you, Percy. I'm trying. You deserve something."

"But I don't," Percy lowered his eyes to the floor. "I don't know how you can't see that."

Wood stopped his pacing.
"Maybe one day you will see it."

But will I deserve it?

"And maybe," Wood began hesitantly, "you'll be okay with us being friends."

He's still hiding something from you

Don't forget that

"So you can leave?" Percy retorted.

"Leave? I'm right-"

"I'm talking about once you get over-" He motioned, "this. Once this fascination of yours fades and all this stops."

He never saw the hurt that came over Wood's face. "You think I'd do that?"

"I don't have a reason not to."

"I wouldn't," Wood said fiercely. "I'm not like that."

"I don't know that."

"You should!" Wood cried, not minding the fact that it was late and he could have woken someone up.

"Well, I don't!"

"What is it going to take to prove to you I'm not going anywhere?" Wood said frustratedly.

"I don't know."

Percy could feel the desperation from the way Wood was looking at him. "Tell me what to do. Tell me something, anything."

"Like what?" Percy threw his hands in the air. "What do you want me to tell you, Wood?"

"Are you ever going to accept me?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Wood said. "Are you ever going to accept me? Will I ever be your friend?" He plopped back down on his own bed. "I thought we would be by now."

Would he ever accept Wood?

There was no definitive answer right now with there being far too many unknowns surrounding the situation for Percy's liking.

"I...I don't know," Percy said lamely.

"Oh," Wood murmured.

"I don't want to," Percy admitted.

"Oh, well. It's fine, I suppose-"

"But," Percy sighed, "I'm willing to try."

"You mean it?"

He was probably going to regret this.

"Yes."