"Mum, can I wait to do my chores today?" Ginny asked the next morning at breakfast. They were all seated around the table, heartily digging into the perfectly cooked eggs and deliciously sizzled sausages their mum had prepared. When Percy came downstairs, Charlie subtly motioned for him to sit beside him. Their other siblings had eyed their older brother puzzledly but nobody had verbally remarked on it. Perhaps what was even more confusing for them was when Bill made it to the kitchen, yawning and ruffling Percy's hair as he walked by.

"Why do you want to do that?" Mum slightly turned to glance at her whilst still being at the stove.

"I want to show Bill and Charlie some of my quidditch plays," Ginny chirped.

Mum sighed like she always did when Ginny mentioned quidditch. "Oh, you better be careful. Especially if you play against Charlie. You're much smaller than the others, dear. You've got to remember that."

" Mum! " Ginny was mortified, her eyes darting over to the other end of the table where Harry was seated. He didn't seem to hear as he was listening to whatever Ron was telling him. Hermione was not yet down there. She'd stayed in Ginny's room and was, as he'd overheard, packing some of her things to take with her to her parents. She'd made arrangements to spend a few days with them-including Christmas- and then return to the Burrow where she would remain until they all needed to return to Hogwarts.

"Oh, Ginny," Mum was shaking her head.

"Sorry, Gin," Charlie said through a mouthful of sausages. "Can't do that. Got somewhere to be."

Ginny was disappointed.

"Me too," Bill said.

"Where are you boys going?" Mum wanted to know.

Charlie slung an arm over Percy's shoulders. "Just spending time with Percy, Mum."

"We haven't decided on anything yet," Bill added.

"You're going to spend time with Percy?" Ron broke away from his conversation with Harry to gawk at Bill and Charlie.

"Yes," Charlie said calmly, though his eyes betrayed the challenging gleam that had into them.

" Why ?"

"Why not?" Bill retorted, eyebrow raised. Percy wished he could be like that; calm, cool, collected. Bill was just like that. He didn't get worked up like the rest of the family unless it was something major.

This made Ron falter a bit.

"That's a wonderful idea, you two," Mum cut in.

"Well, when will you be back?" Ginny frowned.

"Dunno," Charlie shrugged. "Whenever we're done."

"Will it be before supper?" She asked with a slight whinge.

"We don't know, Gin," Bill said patiently, subtly shooting Charlie a warning look not to react to her whinging. "But it's alright. We'll be around for a bit before we have to go back so don't worry."

She was still pouting somewhat, pushing her eggs around on her plate.

Hardly anyone said a word to Percy. They hadn't forgotten last night's incident. It was still vivid in his own mind; his dreams morphing into images of shattering glass and loud gasps. He woke up in the middle of the night twice, desperate for air.

He didn't mention this to anyone.

It was his own fault anyway.

Charlie scooped up the last of his egg yolk with a piece of sausage, stuffing it in his mouth. Bill rolled his eyes. While not as bad as Ron's could be, they seemed to share a lack of table manners. "Perce," He said, voice muffled from the food, "you pick what we do. 'Kay?"

"...Alright," Percy said with hesitation.

We all know what you'll want

Something boring

Your brothers will be bored

All thanks to you

"Or Bill can?" Percy suggested, flushing when he found himself under both of their gazes. "He's good at it."

"Nope," Bill said simply.
"Are you sure? I really wouldn't-"

"Today's all about you, Perce," Bill cut him off.

"Bill-" Fred started.

"Charlie," George continued. "Tell us if you need help."

"I bet Percy's got dirt on them."

"I bet you're right, Fred."

"Shut up, you two," Charlie ordered.

"You'd better dress warm, you three," Mum advised. "It's chilly out there."

"We will," Bill told her, ever the responsible sibling.

"I mean it," She added, her eyes falling on Charlie who looked offended.

Perhaps this was not all unfounded; he used to make a great big fuss about having to put on a jumper as a child. Even now, he didn't like to be all bundled up. He would wear a little something but not as much as she would have liked for him to be wearing. He wouldn't have been surprised to find out that she sent him reminders on what was appropriate to wear in the winter and whatnot.

"Don't worry, Mum," Bill said, giving Charlie's hair a ruffle-he scowled and shoved his hand away. "I'll make sure he does."

Charlie huffed.

/

After they finished their breakfast, heading off to the bathroom to fix their hair and teeth, they met back downstairs near the door. They were dressed warmly with all the essentials; a jumper, a hat and their mum tried to persuade them into wearing mittens. Charlie placated her, with the intention of taking them straight off once they left the house.

Ginny was still trying to get either Bill or Charlie to stay. She was bored, not wanting to stay behind. Whenever their elder siblings visited, Percy's younger brothers and sister did whatever they could to get their attention. Each time, however, his older brothers told her they would be back later and that she could wait until then. At one point, Bill scolded her when she pouted, telling her that neither he or Charlie would do something with her if she kept it up.

She quit her pouting and whinging at once.

"Decided yet?" Bill asked, his voice pleasant, as if he hadn't just gone into parent-mode with Ginny.

Percy shook his head.

"That's alright. If you really don't know, there's this spot in muggle London, I've been to," Bill said.

"When did you go to muggle London?" Charlie asked.

"My friend Maggie took us," Bill shrugged.

"Maggie who ?"

"Not that it's any of your business," Bill rolled his eyes, "but Maggie Greenfield. She was a Hufflepuff in my year."

"And she talked to you...willingly?" Charlie grinned, dodging a smack to the back of the head from Bill.

"Bugger off," Bill grumbled. "I thought Percy would enjoy the library that's there. It's quiet and he can relax a bit without the twins being pests."

"A library?" Charlie said flatly. "That's the best you can do?"

"It's Percy's day," Bill gave him a look that suggested he should not try to argue. "We're going to enjoy ourselves and be happy ."

"He's getting that look Mum has," Charlie nudged Percy. "Next thing you know, he's going to start calling us all 'dear' and never look back."

A smile worked its way over Percy's face. He hid his grin with his hand.

" Someone's got to be the adult here," Bill shot back.

"Right, and someone else has to be the fun brother," Charlie retorted with a cheeky smile.

"And we're so fortunate it's you."

"As you should be," Charlie said with the air of some unsung hero.

Bill rolled his eyes, his attention falling back onto Percy. "We'll have to apparate-you don't have your license yet, do you?"

"No," Percy mumbled.

It never even crossed his mind. He'd been too preoccupied with the upcoming start of term to even consider it; he would fail anyway. There was no way he could pass on the first try.

You're not good enough

You'd probably end up splinching yourself

Everyone would laugh at you

"That's alright," Bill said, holding out his arm for Percy to take. "Hold on. We'll do a side-along."

"Okay- ah !" Percy yelped, not liking the uncomfortable feeling that came along with it.

They landed in an empty alleyway. Percy nearly fell, catching himself at the last moment. His hand flew to his stomach, groaning at the nausea that overwhelmed him. While not the first time he apparated, it wasn't something he did on a daily basis. He much preferred the floo as a means of travel. It was a lot less jarring, that was for sure.

"This way," Bill led them out, subtly glancing to the left and to the right, making a sharp right around the corner.

Having no other choice, Charlie and Percy followed him.

It was a lovely sight to behold in muggle London; the snow was still falling, the people bustled around, greeting one another amiably. There was soft music coming from somewhere and the twinkling lights illuminated off the snow. Down the sidewalk they went; Percy's step slowered a little as they came across a chocolate shop; the shop with its gold lights, so warm and inviting. He watched as the old man molded the chocolate into small balls, carefully sprinkling them with red and green sprinkles.

The old man lifted his head; eyeglasses on the tip of his nose, a pleasant smile on his lips. Percy gave his own smile in return, shy and small; embarrassment creeping up for being caught. He scurried off, catching up to his brothers. Charlie was making wise-cracks at Bill's expense, cackling at his own antics.

"How long until we get there?" Percy's hands, in spite of the mittens he wore, tingled from the sharp wind gusts.

You're so impatient

Like a child

"Not long," Bill promised.

"You'll feed us, won't you?" Charlie asked.

"You just ate."

"Right, but it won't last all day," Charlie said.

Bill huffed. "I told you to bring some money with you."

"I did."

"Then why are you asking me if I'll feed you?"

"Because it just tastes so much better when you do it," Charlie smiled wide, blinking in a way that Percy suspected was supposed to be endearing. It looked like he had something in his eyes, actually.

"I...I didn't bring any money," Percy's stomach flip-flopped.

You idiot!

You knew you were going out and didn't bring anything?

I don't really have anything...

Guess you'll sit there hungry, won't you?

Bill smiled kindly at him. "No worries, Perce. I got enough for both of us-"

" Three of us," that came from Charlie.

Bill continued as if he hadn't spoken, "-you don't have to pay for anything."

"But it's your money," Percy protested. It wasn't right of him to use his hard earned money on him when he hadn't done anything at all to deserve it.

"Right, so I'll decide what I want to do with it," Bill said, satisfied.

Percy didn't have a response for this.

"Anyway, here we are," Bill said, brightly.

The three of them climbed up the long staircase, going through the front door. It was a welcoming change from the frigid temperature outside. Percy glanced around; it was a noticeably quiet atmosphere. The library was decorated with red and green to celebrate the season, some more sparkly than others. They walked some more, heading for an exit with a sign- Basement -hanging above.

As it turned out, the basement was not what Percy expected of it. There were as many shelves down there as there were upstairs. A few comfy looking chairs were scattered around and a fireplace, lit with orange flames crackling, gave off some more much needed warmth.

Best of all, it was empty.

"What do you think?" Bill was pleased with himself for thinking of this place.

"It's...nice," Percy was awe-struck by the room's beauty and simplicity.

"Maggie took you here?" Charlie was not as impressed as Percy was. "What, did you two do a little two-on-two behind the bookcases?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"I told you she took me and some friends ," Bill sighed, rolling his eyes. "We didn't fancy each other."

"I can understand her not fancying you , but you're telling me you didn't pine over her once ?"

He ducked when Bill swung his fist at him, not really intending to harm him, though.

Taking a deep breath, Bill dropped his playful demeanor, face going serious. "Sit down, Perce. We'll be here a while so you'll have time to read. We just want to talk to you first." He took out his wand, murmuring an incantation that Percy was unable to hear. The door in which they'd entered through softly shut with a snap .

"Come on then," Charlie said, plopping down, legs draped over the arm of the chair.

Percy sat down in a much more civilized manner. "What do you want to talk about?"

Charlie gave him a look- really ? "Are you daft?"

Bill quickly shushed him. "We just want to know what's going on, Perce, and we knew we wouldn't get anything out of you unless we got out of the house. You can tell us anything. We won't say a word unless you say we can."

Percy pulled his hat off his head, his curls springing every which way. His brothers had already peeled off their jumpers and mittens. "It's really nothing," he said.

"You keep saying that," Bill looked him in the eyes, "but I don't think you believe it."

"Wha...what? No. It's just-"

"I think you know something's wrong, you know you're not alright but you don't want to tell anyone."

Percy was yanking so hard on the end of his cloak that he was going to strangle himself at any moment.

"We're not Fred and George," Charlie said quietly, all kidding aside. "We're not going to make fun of you for anything. We just want to help you."

They're lying

They have to say that

They don't care

"You're our brother," Bill said firmly, as if sensing Percy's intrusive thoughts, "we're going to do what we can to help you. It'll be a lot easier if you cooperate."

"But we'll do it regardless," Charlie piped up.

"We'd rather it didn't come to that, though," Bill said calmly.

Did he really want to tell them?

Did he really want to let them in on everything he'd been keeping for years?

Would they even care or would they think he was simply being dramatic?

His first inclination was to clam up, be silent about the matter until they eventually gave up-not an easy feat to achieve, but not entirely impossible.

But then his gaze drifted; he saw the sincerity on their faces, the plea that he trust them.

Just like Wood.

"I...I don't know where to start."

"Start wherever you like," Bill told him, relieved.

He took a minute or so to compose his thoughts. It wasn't easy to do this; to talk after so many years or trust them. But he'd try. "I don't know what's wrong with me," he said lamely. "But nothing's ever right anymore."

"Not right how?" Charlie asked, causing Bill to glare at him for interrupting.

"I...I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't care about anything anymore."

"But what about your plans?" Charlie jumped in, unable to keep silent. Bill didn't even admonish him; he was absorbing what Percy said. "You told us you wanted to work in the Ministry."

"What's the point?" Percy's voice was emotionless. Truthful.

"How can you say that?" Charlie demanded once he overcame his shock. "You've never wanted to do anything else."

"There's no point anymore," Percy muttered. "I'm not suitable for such a position. Why keep up the delusion any longer?"

"What are you talking about?" Bill found his voice. "You've got the grades for it and can do just about anything you want."

"Can I? Or is that just something we've accepted without evidence?" He said dully.

Bill stood straight up. Charlie did as well, alarm rapidly reflecting itself on his face. He held out his arm to stop Bill from moving any further.

Percy sat there, unmoving. The orange flickering flames cast a shadow over his face, his freckles more prominent than ever. "I don't feel much of anything anymore. It's quite strange. Some moments, I almost feel normal. But it never lasts. Other times...I'm merely in the background of someone else's life, watching things happen out of my control."

"Perce-" Charlie's face was stricken with guilt, fear. "We-"

"You what?" Percy was not angry. Simply exhausted. "You're going to tell me you understand? I don't think you do."

"Why not?"

"Do you understand what it's like not understanding happiness?" His brothers gawked at him. "Can you possibly understand what it's like wishing you could be like everyone else? To be normal? Do you understand how hard simple tasks are, how getting out of the bloody bed is a chore?" His voice had risen, hands trembling. "Can you tell me you understand the feeling that life would be better with you? That everyone you know would be better off without you? Can you possibly understand going through your day to day, pretending you're alright when you're not?"

He slumped tiredly, burying his face in his hands.

Before his brain could comprehend it, Percy was swept up in a sea of red hair and tight embraces. He was sandwiched in between his brothers. They murmured to him, fierce promises and deepest apologies, regretful for not noticing anything sooner. He didn't know they were there, sitting like that. He didn't know when he felt tears hit his head or when Bill started telling Percy how much he loved him.

" We love you, Percy," Charlie's voice was shaky, so unlike him. And his face ! His face was stained with tears, Percy noticed when he pulled back. Charlie didn't cry. Not unless it involved a magical creature. But he didn't just cry . Percy froze at the sight. "We love you so much."

"We should've talked to you before now," Bill, the strongest of all them, looked defeated. He shut his eyes.

"You matter," Charlie cut in with desperation. A desperation that Percy know this and feel this with all his might. "You matter to Mum, to Dad, to the twins and Ron and Ginny...you matter to all of us, Perce. We'd be devastated if something happened to you."

"How do I know that?" Percy asked quietly. "How do I know it's true?"

"You-"

"You haven't heard what they've said about me," Percy whispered. "They don't want me as their brother. I'm just an embarrassment to them."

"I'll talk to them," Bill promised, his voice hard.

Percy whirled around, eyes wide. " No! You can't!"

"Percy, they need to know," Bill argued.

"They can't! " Percy jumped to his feet, panic overtaking him. His mind raced, heart thumping. "They can't know! They can't, Bill! Promise me you won't say anything. Please !"

The things they'd say -

He couldn't bear it.

"But-" Bill was torn. "But what about Mum and Dad?"

"They need to know," Charlie agreed.

Percy shook his head vigorously. "Not them either."

"Why?" Charlie cried, startling him. "Why won't you tell them?"

"I just can't," Percy squeezed his eyes shut. "Just give me time."

"Alright," Bill said with reluctance.

" Alright ?" Charlie said in disbelief. "Are you mad?"

"Percy needs to tell them in his own time," Bill rubbed a hand over his face. "It won't do any good if we force him."

"I suppose," Charlie grumbled unhappily.

"Does anyone know?" Bill questioned.

Percy, having calmed down some, took deep breaths. "Wood does," he admitted.

"Wood?" Charlie echoed. "Oliver Wood?"

"Yes," Percy said. Then he added, "Not by choice."

"But how did he come to find out?" Charlie pressed.

Percy swallowed. He couldn't tell them the real reason.

"That's enough for now," Bill said, coming to Percy's rescue.

"But I-"

"Percy's probably tired of talking," Bill continued, "he can tell us the rest another time." He gave Percy a slight nudge. "You should go read. Find a book. We did come here for you."

"Okay," Percy frowned. He headed over to the bookshelves, glancing at all the titles.

When he left, his brothers broke out into whispers.