Chapter 30 – A Heart Filled with Regret (Part 1)
Miharu's POV
Man…poor Mugi. She's been depressed for most of her life because of her parents…and now she finds out that one of them is dead. Not to mention that she's been in a feud with her father for over half a year. And to have him die before she even had the chance to make amends…
…
I…I don't know what to say or do in this case. I mean, I want to help her. She is my sister and all…
…But how do I do such a thing?
"Miharu…"
"Oh. H-Hey, Mugi." I said as Mugi came and sat next to me. "Feeling any better?"
"*sigh* Somewhat. I honestly want to cry some more. But my body won't let me. Probably because I ran out of tears."
"I-I see…" We both went silent for a bit before I dared to ask this next question. "S-So, uh…this may not be a good time to ask, but…"
"It was a stroke due to his high blood pressure. All the stress he was secretly dealing with…the company, for one. But most recently with the fight he was having with his only daughter. It was all building up these past 6-7 months…and it finally did him in."
"I-I see. W-Well…sorry for your loss."
"*sigh* It's fine. We all knew it was going to happen eventually. My father was the type of person to be stubborn about medical treatment by not taking the medication he was prescribed. So, really…he slowly killing himself."
"Oh, wow..." Was all I could really say.
"Even though…it was mostly his fault…I can't help but feel a ton of regret on my end. I'm sure Sumire told you about my childhood…and how much I hated it."
"Yeah, she told me. She said how you were always unhappy stuck inside your mansion. And how you would oftentimes hate the people that kept you in there. I gotta admit, though…hearing that you were depressed most of your life really stung me in the heart. You really had no one to go to, huh?"
"Other than Sumire…no. I didn't."
"And so, you had to continue this path made by your parents, right?"
"The only good thing to come out of that was going to Sakuragaoka. It was the first time I ever had the chance to experience the life of a normal teenage girl. And I loved it so much. I got to sit in a real classroom with girls of my own age, I made friends with Ricchan, Mio-chan, and Yui-chan and revived the Light Music Club…playing wonderful music with them whenever we decided to actually practice. Yes, it's true that we don't practice much at all. It's really hard to deny that."
"Ritsu seems to do that a lot."
"Ricchan is a scatterbrained loafer who, for some reason, has an interest in playing music." Mugi went silent for a bit. "D-Don't tell her I said that, though."
"Your secret's safe with me, Mugi." I said with a few giggles.
"Anyway…for the first time in my life, I was experiencing what "being normal" was truly like. And I was truly happy about it. But I knew it was only temporary. I was still unhappy at home. And it took every last bit of my mental strength to hide it from everyone. My friends, my family…and even myself at times.
But then I was made aware of the biggest life-changing moment of my life: Finding out that you existed, Miharu.
Right. The moment that changed everything...
I don't know why my parents suddenly decided to tell me this. Either because they believed I was old enough to hear or it was filling them with guilt this entire time. But once I heard the truth…that their young-adult antics caused me to have a sister who resides in a different country…I knew that was it. I knew that it was my one and only chance. To fully escape my unwanted rich girl lifestyle and live the life of my dreams.
A normal one. As a normal girl. With no special traits whatsoever. And to finally be free."
"W-Wow. Mugi…" Was all I could really say to such a backstory.
"And now, here we are. Nearly 7 months later. After everything that's happened since we met, it all ends with this. Sure, there were multiple times in which I hated my father. But knowing that this situation was one of the causes of his death…that my damn selfishness shortened his lifespan…it brings a heavy burden on my already depressed heart and mind. So much so that…that…*sniff* that…I think I murdered my own father, Miharu! I'M A GODDAMN MURDERER! WAAAAAA!"
Mugi then broke down hard as she screamed and cried hard tears of severe depression and regret. Truly believing that she was the cause of her father's sudden death.
Meanwhile, I was mentally panicking on my own. I had absolutely no idea how to calm her down or what to say in this situation. Sure, I lost my mother not too long ago. But I didn't believe I was the cause of it.
Mugi, on the other hand, has had a love-hate relationship with her father for YEARS! And when she took the hate side of it too far, in her mind…her father DIES of a stroke. And just when she decided to let the resentment go after all these years.
Like I've said multiple times, I want to help her. I really freaking do. But I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. And I feel like I share some blame in this, too. If I hadn't moved to Japan, Mugi and I would've never met. And her father would still be alive.
…
…
…
Th-That is the truth…r-right?
"*sniff* M-Miharu…I-I'm a murderer, Miharu! A-A MURDERER!"
"M-Mugi…"
"YOU'RE NOT A MURDERER, DAMNIT!" We heard a voice yell at us. And when we saw who it was…
"H-Hey, you're…"
"K-Kyoko-chan?" Mugi asked.
"Sorry for yelling like that, Mugi. But I couldn't stand listening to you believing such things."
"B-But…B-But it's true. L-Look what happened, Kyoko-chan. M-My father is dead because of my selfish desires for a normal life. H-How can I not blame myself for this?!"
"I get where you're coming from. But trust me, you do NOT want to think this way. You'll only sink yourself further into a deep depression. To the point where you'll do things you'll regret in the future."
"R-Really?"
"Wait, what makes you say that?" I asked. "What are you even doing here?"
"That Sumire girl told us what happened. She said that you two were at the hospital and I made her bring me here."
"I am sorry, Ojōsama." Sumire said as she walked up to us. "But she was rather persistent. She would not take no for an answer no matter what I said."
"I-I see…" Mugi said before calming down a bit. "Kyoko-chan…when you said that you "get where I'm coming from", are you referring to…that day?"
"*sigh* Yeah. It's that day."
"That day?" Sumire and I asked in confusion.
"Well…haven't you two ever wondered why Akari only has one eye? Like, at all?"
Sumire and I looked at each other as we thought about what we were just asked.
"You know…I kinda did." I said.
"As did I." Sumire added. "But I did not ask because I did not want to offend."
"Well…the reason behind that is…well…i-is because of me."
"Huh?" We were both confused and shocked at this confession.
"3 years ago, back when we were in middle school, an incident that happened due to us messing around caused a shelf stacked with toys to fall over. And one of them, having a sharp object with it, stabbed Akari in her left eye. It bled so much that she nearly died from it. The only way to save her was…was to remove the eye entirely."
"O-Oh, wow. That sounds horrible." Sumire said.
"Yeah, no kidding." I added. "Who was the stupid asshole to leave a bunch of toys on a shelf in the first place?"
"Miharu!" Mugi yelled at me.
"What? I'm just saying."
"No, Mugi. She's right." Kyoko said. "The person who owned those toys was indeed a stupid asshole. And I truly hate that person from the bottom of my heart."
"Kyoko-chan…"
"Wait, are you saying…YOU'RE the stupid asshole?"
"M-Miharu-Ojōsama…please stop saying such a phase." Sumire gained a sweatdrop.
"The toys were from an anime that I used to adore. Or, rather... obsess with. I had brought them to school before then to glorify our clubroom. And was told to take them home multiple times...but I never did. And then the accident happened."
"Woah…" Sumire and I said.
"But how does Akaza-san's missing eye make you relate to Ojōsama and her father passing away?" Sumire then asked.
"Because…how Mugi is feeling now is how I felt for a solid month afterward."
"Really?"
"It's true." Mugi said. "Kyoko-chan went through a great deal of self-mental torment after the accident. She blamed herself for ruining Akari-chan's life. And all of it building up inside of her made it to where she...uh...lost a bit of her sanity."
"So, you went cuckoo for Coco Puffs?" I asked.
"I don't know what that is...but I'm going to say yes to save myself from being further insulted." Kyoko said with an exasperated look on her face.
"But seeing as both you and Akaza-san are here in Okinawa, I assume that everything turned out fine, correct?" Sumire asked.
"It did...for a while, at least. Because not long after Akari started to feel better about her situation was when mine got worse. WAY worse."
"WAY worse?" We were both confused by what she meant.
"Y-You're really going to bring that up?" Mugi asked with a pale look on her face.
"It's the only way to make my point." Kyoko then went silent for a bit. "B-But...maybe it would be better if I just showed them."
"Y-Yeah...good call."
"Show us what?" I asked.
"Well...just...prepare yourselves for what you're about to see." Was all Kyoko said before she started unraveling the pink scarf around her neck.
I always wondered why she wore a scarf in this tropical hot weather...
After it was fully off, all of us…including Mugi…were shocked by what we saw.
"W-Woah…th-that is…" Sumire said.
"That scar…it's huge." I said.
"So, that's what it looks like." Mugi said.
"*sigh* I rarely show this to anyone. Even my friends and family. But I'm doing it now just to prove a point."
"H-How did you get such a huge scar?" I asked after witnessing Kyoko's ginormous scar that nearly took up half of her neck.
"This is what happens when you try to hide your true feelings. You live your life as a lie in this happy go-lily slice of life anime...only to have the universe remind you that you can never escape reality. Which, in my case...was having my serial killer father show up after years of hiding solely just to get rid of me."
"Y-Your father's a serial killer?!"
"It's a horrific moment of my life. Rather not go into full detail about it."
"Damn..."
I guess not all fathers are contenders for "Dad of the Year"...
"And now, long story short, I have this giant scar as a permanent reminder of my past self. As I at least try to live a better life right now."
"Woah…that's crazy."
"Yeah. It is." Kyoko then started wrapping the scarf back on her neck. "That's why when I heard that Mugi's been in a feud with her father and that he died before she could makeup, I knew it was only a matter of time before she would start acting like me 3 years ago. So, I came to talk some sense into her."
"I see..."
That makes sense. A way to help someone dealing with depression their entire life is to talk to someone else who's been through similar situations. Thank God Kyoko came through. Or else I'd still be struggling to help.
"Kyoko-chan…I thank you for coming to talk to me." Mugi said after a moment's silence. "But this isn't something I can just push aside like it was nothing. My father…a person that I loved and hated for most of my life…is dead. And no matter how you look at it, I'm partially at fault for his sudden death. Me and my selfish desire to be normal."
"Mugi…"
"Ojōsama…" Sumire and I were worried that, despite this talk, Mugi would end up like Kyoko and regret her existence altogether.
"But…"
"But?" We both asked.
"But…maybe I can at least try. I mean, if I can just…empty out all this sadness, anger, and regret from my heart…then maybe I can finally move on with my life. And leave my childhood behind."
"How do you plan on doing that?" Sumire asked.
"I don't know. I mean, I wanted to at least apologize to my father for the stress I've caused him…and also tell him the truth about how I see my current life. *sigh* But that's not possible anymore."
"R-Right…"
"It's not like you can talk to his soul or something like that." I added.
...
...
...
"Actually…that is possible." Kyoko said.
"Huh?"
"It may sound crazy…but there is a way to talk to your father's soul."
…
…
…
"What the hell?" The three of us stared at the blonde-haired girl with huge dumbfounded looks on our faces.
"Don't ask how I know this. It's complicated to explain. But I do know that it's possible."
…
…
…
"Uh…okay." I said, breaking the silence. "So, how do we do that?"
"We just need to go out at night and find the nearest shrine. Any idea where that is?"
"The nearest shrine?" Sumire asked. "I think that would be Naminoue Shrine."
"Nami…what?" I was lost in the language barrier.
"Naminoue. It sits on a high bluff near the beach and the ocean. We passed by it while on the tour earlier today."
"Naminoue…yep, here it is." Kyoko said as she was looking at her phone. "It really is close by. Just a few kilometers from the hotel."
"Okay. So...what are we going to do at this shrine?" I asked.
"Like I said, it's complicated to explain. But trust me, this is gonna help. So much so, that I wish I did it myself." Kyoko then looked away from us as she gained a sad look of her own. Probably reminded of her own horrible past.
Now that I think about it…just how much does she relate to Mugi?
"Hey, Mugi. Do you really want to do this?" I asked her.
"If it is too tough for you, Ojōsama…then I can understand completely." Sumire added.
"Miharu…Sumire…thank you for your concern. But I want to do this. The detail of it may be vague. But if I can truly release these feelings that I've held in for most of my life, then I'm taking that chance. And it would mean a lot to me if you both would come and support me. My…My…My two sisters."
T-Two…s-sisters?!
"M-Mugi…I-I…"
"O-Onee-chan! O-Of course, I'll go with you! I'll never leave your side again, Onee-chan! Waaaa!" And before I could say anything, Sumire had broken down and started hugging Mugi with multiple tears running down her face. No doubt ready to support her "Onee-chan" in this new step in life.
But damn, girl! Get a freaking grip!
"Wait, uh…are they related?" Kyoko asked me.
"No. But Sumire's known Mugi longer than I have. She has like a "special bond" with her."
"I see…"
"S-Sumire, please! I-I can't…I-I can't…br-breathe!" Meanwhile, Mugi was panicking underneath the apparent brute strength of her maid's sudden hug of comfort. While the two of us just stood there and watched.
Sisterly love…I guess?
Author's Note: While still grieving for her lost, a surprise pep-talk from Kyouko has Mugi willing to release the resentment and regret for her father from her own heart. But with him dead, how's that even possible? Find out in part 2. Coming Tuesday, if not tomorrow.
I'm sure some of you remember how I said that this story was going to end in like 10 chapters or so. Just wanted to point out that this would've been the final chapter if I had gone with my original plan. With a different concept, of course.
Also…if you're wondering why and how Kyouko has a giant scar on her neck, read Kyouko's Shattered Heart. It's a story that I wrote early last year that shows a totally different side of her. It's one of my personal favorites that I wrote and I'm rather proud of it. Just saying.
Thanks for reading. Later.