My last post before going to see Avengers: Endgame tonight! Here's to hoping that I survive! See you on the other side!

Chapter 3: That First Morning on Asgard

The second time Loki wakes, it's to the feel of his mother's magic wrapped lovingly around him with Thor's sparking magic at his back. For a moment, he thinks he's still sleeping. Still dreaming. Then the tattered remains of his marriage bond to Evelyn tug at his heartstrings, and he remembers the early morning chaos.

Thor remembered.

Somehow, someway, Thor had regained his memories of the years that never were. Loki has a sneaking suspicion it has something to do with his wife's luck. He had thought it odd that he'd been able to feel Soul Magic in the air right after he'd woken up.

"Are you actually awake now, brother?"

Think of the oaf and he shall speak.

"Not particularly," he mutters into his pillow. For the first time in years his instincts aren't screaming at him about danger. If Thor would just keep quiet, then Loki thinks he could actually go right back to sleep he's so relaxed. Then a feminine hand slides down his spine, leaving chills in its wake, and Loki's abruptly reminded that his magic is still twined with Frigga's.

"My darling little prince, as much as I'd love for you to be able to sleep as long as you wish, the sun has risen and the morning begun," his mother says gently, repeating the motion.

Loki moves just enough to be able to crack an eye open up at her. She's smiling down at him, no hint of fear or disgust anywhere on her face. She's just as he remembers her. Unable to help himself, he lets his glamor fall and holds his breath. Her hand falters only momentarily.

"So, you know," she murmurs with a look of sad understanding.

"I know," he chokes out.

Frigga hums thoughtfully before leaning down to press her lips to his forehead. "Whatever you have done, you always have been and always will be my son," she says again, and Loki even dares to believe her. It's difficult not to, what with how much he's wrapped up in her magic. "Now, would you care to break your fast with us before we discuss the events of last night?"

"I had all your favorites brought up," Thor adds almost eagerly.

With a grunt, Loki lets his glamor slide back into place as he pushes himself upright. "Who are you and what have you done with my oaf of a brother?" he grumbles halfheartedly. Thor just smiles brightly at him, clapping him on the shoulder and getting out of the bed they're all piled up in. Blinking rapidly, Loki realizes that they're in Frigga and Odin's personal chambers. He vaguely recalls Frigga mentioning something about that last night, but he'd been too exhausted at that point to really notice much of anything. "Father?" he blurts out without meaning to, wondering why he can't see or sense Odin at all.

"Your father is tending to court to ensure we might be uninterrupted," Frigga explains, brushing his bangs away from his eyes. "Yours will not be a short story, I imagine, not if you were driven to use Soul Magic."

Loki flinches, bowing his head in an attempt to hide his tears. The loss of Thor had been devastating, and Banner had followed half a year later from a poison neither he or Evelyn could counter. However, they hadn't started losing hope just yet. No, that hadn't come until Stark and Rogers were cut down a year following Banner's death. Then he'd finally started looking into what could be done if they lost. When Barton and Romanoff fell less than a year after Stark and Rogers, Loki had come to the chilling realization that even if they did end up finally winning, everyone left would be so broken that any sort of victory would be achingly hollow. Evelyn getting hit with a death spell had been his tipping point. There'd been nothing left to lose, so even if his attempt at Soul Magic had failed, at least they went out trying.

"Loki," Thor's voice cuts through his spiraling thoughts, and Loki's head snaps up.

Watery green eyes meet solemn blue ones. "Three years," he says hoarsely. "Three years was all it took for them to cut us all down after you died."

"Enough, brother," Thor instructs, reaching out and cradling Loki's face between his hands and wiping away the few tears that start to roll down his cheeks. "You only need tell us once, and that time is not right this minute. Come and eat first."

"I haven't eaten in a week," he comments faintly, letting Thor pull him out of the bed and across the room. He probably shouldn't've said that, but the promise of food for the first time in a while is overpowering. All his energy had been devoted to trying to keep Evelyn alive long enough to find a way to stop the death spell. He scrubs angrily at the tears still lingering in his eyes.

"Then it's just as well I requested your favorites," Thor says mildly. He gently pushes Loki into a chair before immediately preparing a plate that he hands to Loki with a stern expression. "Eat."

Loki does, nibbling on a slice of meat until it wakes up his appetite, and then he's devouring the food on his plate. A goblet is placed at his elbow, and he nearly protests before seeing no wine, only water. He blinks at it, then looks up questioningly at Thor.

"For all that you hoarded any available time your wife had, we did manage to talk occasionally," his brother says, tucking into his own plate.

"And you talked of my drinking habits?" he questions, very aware of Frigga settling opposite the two of them. She makes no comment on what passed between him and Thor mere moments earlier, but Loki can see she's paler for all that she carries her usual pose and grace.

Thor shrugs. "I was trying to learn of the brother I had, rather than the image I had constructed for myself. Anything she was willing to give, I kept. If it taught me something about my new sister as well, all the better."

Loki dips his head in acceptance. They'd both had to relearn the other. Surprisingly, Thor had been sneaky about it. He smiles faintly. Apparently Evelyn had approved, as she'd made no mention of their chats to him, not even after Thor fell. Or perhaps she'd just wanted to spar him the pain of knowing his brother had been trying, only to lose him so abruptly.

As became a habit, Loki lets his magic blanket the three of them to keep assuring himself that they're there. Frigga blinks at the feeling, but Thor just shifts slightly so their shoulders press together. Loki relaxes into the touch, enjoying the way Thor's lightning crackles against his ice in that it lets him know his brother is alive.

"Thor," he says suddenly, realizing something from the feel of Thor's magic, "was the explosion last night because you broke Mjolnir again?"

"It might've been," Thor returns blandly, not pausing in his eating. "Why do you wish to know?"

"Your magic doesn't feel bound like it did before."

Thor side-eyes him. "And is that going to be a problem?"

Loki shoots his brother a look that makes most realize he's doubting the intelligence of the recipient. "Only if you plan on bringing down the palace walls every night. I will retaliate if it becomes a habit."

They glare at each other in silence for a few heartbeats before Thor chuckles. "Rest assured, brother, my power is mine to control again."

"That is good to know, my son."

Loki goes ramrod straight at the unexpected sound of Odin's voice. He faintly hears the cracking of the plate he's got in a white knuckled grip over the roaring in his ears. Ice floods his veins, chilling his breath without meaning to. His magic bubbles and crackles dangerously under his skin, begging for release.

Then thunder crashes through the ringing silence, and his vision is full of Thor. Thor whose eyes glow pale blue with power while lightning arches into a protective dome around the two of them. Loki gasps in a desperate breath and the air burns down to his lungs. He warms with every inhale and exhale he forces himself to take.

"Nothing will harm you, Loki," Thor rumbles. "Not while I am here."

"Don't go making promises you can't keep," Loki snarls back. They'd all stopped making such promises the longer the destruction lasted. Though none of them meant to, every last one of them broke it.

A wry smile pulls at his brother's lips as the lightning dies away. "Given that I have no desire to be on the receiving end of your wife's temper again, this is one I will keep."

Perhaps that's why Evelyn didn't say anything about her chats with Thor. She's never particularly proud of losing her temper, for all that Loki enjoys watching her go off at someone, so it doesn't surprise him that since he didn't witness it, he hadn't known. Thor, of course, probably was too embarrassed by whatever Evelyn said to him to bring it up himself.

"Loki, you married again?" Frigga asks hesitantly, reminding Loki that for all that he doesn't want to see or deal with Odin, his mother at least deserves the truth. So he inhales deeply, draws up the desired memory, and with his exhale, makes the palace room fade away and turn into the top floor of Stark's tower.

Faintly, strains of Never Knew I Needed by Ne-Yo can be heard playing in the background—and Loki only remembers that tidbit of information because she played it for this—but the bulk of the memory focuses on him whirling Evelyn around the makeshift dance floor the team had provided once Evelyn put her plan into action. He's dressed as a Prince of Asgard should be on their wedding day—something Evelyn insisted he and Thor do, sans helmets—however, in his opinion at least, Evelyn still manages to surpass them both for all that she lacks gleaming armor.

Her stunning red curls are braided back, baring the majority of her neck as she throws her head back while laughing. Her dress is a traditional white for her culture, but she'd added in green and gold accents to honor him. A single gold woven strap stretching from shoulder to shoulder holds the dress up, and two gold bands keep the slit sleeves in place. One is mid upper arm and the other at her wrists. The bodice is a deep green velvet lined with gold designs. Around her slim, lithe waist is a gold cord that falls nearly to her feet, emeralds braided in that flash in the light every time he twirls her.

He's got a ridiculously sappy grin plastered across his face, but even now he can't find it in himself to care. Evelyn had planned the entire thing, coordinating with everyone to surprise him. She'd saved asking for Thor's help last, and in full view of everyone. After flat out announcing that she intended to marry his brother no matter what, she'd asked if he, Thor, would do the honor of binding them together? There's been a moment of stunned silence, as apparently no one knew she'd been going to request that. It'd only been broken when the book Loki had been reading slipped through numb fingers to fall to the floor. And then Thor, with a suspiciously thick voice, had said that if that's what his new sister wished, then who was he to deny her? Evelyn had made a happy sound, grabbed Thor in a quick hug, and then turned a beaming smile towards Loki.

"Want to get married today?" she'd asked excitedly, for once the weight of their situation not showing at all on her face. Unable to say no in the face of such joy—he's kidding himself, he's never really been able to deny her anything in his power to give—they'd been married that night. It was the break none of them really had known they'd needed.

Now, watching the memory again with only Thor beside him, seeing the makeshift family they'd cobbled together whole and happy, is more painful than he'd thought it'd be. Even if they all meet again, they won't be the people he fought beside, died beside. It hurts, so he lets it all fade away again, blinking away the tears that just don't seem to want to leave him alone today.

"Lady Evelyn Rosalie of House Potter, House Black, House Gryffindor, and House Slytherin is the woman I married four years ago or will twenty five years in the future," he says quietly. "She is kind and brave and steadfast and loyal. She has a fiery temper once provoked. She is selfishly selfless and able to bring out the best in just about anyone she meets." He laughs weakly. "Myself included, for all that I fought her every step of the way. She has and will give her life if it means keeping those she considers under her protection safe."

"She can also match your wit and magic word for word and blow for blow," Thor adds helpfully.

"That she can, that she can," Loki agrees fondly, "and I despised her for it that first year after we met." Stars had they snipped and snarked back and forth while tearing the proverbial flesh off each other with whatever they could manage to eek out of the other. It wasn't until Evelyn had slipped and snapped at him about how at least his cell was more comfortable than a cupboard under the stairs that things had started to change. At first he'd been enraged because she was Hela's Avatar, and no one touched something that belonged to one of his, but it'd quickly changed to because it was her.

"She mentioned being equally annoyed with you, although reluctantly glad that you didn't know her history to begin with," Thor comments.

Loki shrugs carelessly. "It was probably for the better for both of us." Then he sighs, dropping his face into his hands. He can't keep avoiding talking about it. "In twenty two years time, the Convergence will occur," he states flatly, ignoring the sharp intakes of breath across from him. "The Aether was found and because of that, Malekith awakened from wherever he and his kind are currently hibernating. He managed to gain control of it, proceeding to then try and suck out all the light from the Nine Realms. We stopped him, but the damage was already done. The Realms were out of alignment, not that we knew. Not until two months later when Svartalfheim collapsed in on itself."

He looks up now, looks at the two beings who raised him for better or for worse. Frigga's abject horror is expected, and Loki grieves for its necessity. Odin's frozen look of betrayal, however, gives him vindicated pleasure. He still remembers the stories of Bor, Odin's father, and how he'd destroyed the Dark Elves. To see Odin experiencing the same pain he himself felt after learning the truth about his heritage, to learn that the one you looked up to lied to you about something so vastly important, is darkly and deeply satisfying.

"Alfheim followed Svartalfheim a year later. Jotunheim and Muspelheim the year after." Here he pauses, drawing in a shaking breath while reaching out to take Thor's hand in his. "When Vanaheim collapsed the next year, Thor—" He chokes briefly before forcing himself to get the words out. "Thor fell with it ensuring that as many people as possible got to safety."

"I am sorry my death caused you such sorrow, but I will not apologize for giving my life in return for your safety," Thor says solemnly, laying his other hand on top of their joined ones.

"You and Eve do not need to carry the weight of the Realms around on your shoulders," he snaps, bristling because of course the two people he holds closest to his heart have absolutely no sense of self preservation whatsoever.

Thor smiles sadly at him. "It is who we are, brother."

"Yes, well, I'm starting to wish you hadn't had that blasted change of heart," Loki grumbles, not really meaning it in the slightest. He'd much rather have this Thor. This Thor, at least, will actually listen to what he has to say, rather than just brush him off the instant he goes to open his mouth.

"As you say, brother." Thor gives his hand one gentle squeeze before letting go. "How did the others fare after my death?"

"You're being oddly calm about that particular fact."

"And what good would come of dwelling on something that has no longer happened? I made my peace with it then. Nothing's changed beyond the fact that I've now survived."

"Please, may we not—" Frigga's broken voice reminds Loki that for all he's somewhat made peace with the idea of Thor dying, Frigga most certainly has not.

"My apologies, Mother, I didn't mean to distress you," Loki murmurs as Thor moves to sit beside her. She presses up against him, latching onto him physically and magically in an attempt to reassure herself that her son is really there.

"You held a Gate open yourself?" Odin speaks up for the first time since he arrived, and Loki has to refrain from instinctively slapping a silencing spell onto the man. He doesn't think that'd go over very well with anyone but himself.

"I did, but Loki was the one who opened it in the first place," Thor says, nodding in his direction.

"There were cracks everywhere, it wasn't overly hard," he mutters back.

"Yet no one else could, or did," his brother points out. "Nor, I imagine, would they have been able to connect Vanaheim and Nidavelir as you did to enable the evacuation in the first place. The others?"

Loki sighs when Thor again requests information about after him dying. "Banner didn't last the year. We never could determine what exactly he'd been poisoned with, but it ate away at him and the Hulk all the same. We lost Rogers and Stark when Nidavelir fell. Rogers was cut down mid battle, but none of us could get to him in time to save him. Stark blew up his armor shortly thereafter. We didn't ever learn why exactly he did that. Not even his faithful machines could answer that question for us." Evelyn had been devastated. She took every death hard, but those two? Stark was something they both enjoyed matching wits with, and Rogers' kind heart was someone his wife found a kindred spirit in. "When we were moving refugees, Romanoff was killed and Barton didn't last long without her. Neither Evelyn or I could truly begrudge him that fact. I did the same, after all." He laughs bitterly. "It's what landed us here."

"And Asgard?"

"Fell four months go. As I said, Midgard and Niflheim were the only two remaining." His hands twist at the fabric on his legs as he fights for control. "T'Challa fell with Wakanda and his people when the Dark Elves and Chitauri made their final move a week ago, and Evelyn was hit with a blasted death spell. I managed to keep her alive for a week for nothing." A harsh sob escapes as he doubles over. "I couldn't save her! Her, of all people! She who learned what I'd done, what madness I'd descended to, and still reached out a hand to save me. She saved me, and I couldn't bloody well return the favor, not even with all my magic and knowledge and wit at my disposal." His knuckles are bone white as he slams a hand onto the table in front of him. It creaks and groans, but holds.

"You saved her, Loki," Thor insists. "You saved all of us."

He raises his head to sneer at his brother, stopping him from coming over again. "And yet I took so much more than I gave. I took her son from her, Thor. She's but a child now, and the boy isn't even born yet. Now there's no hope of ever recovering him like I had planned to."

Only once had Evelyn shown him a picture of the little boy left to her to raise after the war she'd grown up in. It'd been after Alfheim fell and they'd just started working with those on Midgard. She'd been quiet—a sad, solemn kind of quiet—and he'd questioned her. Questioned why she sat on a ledge of Stark's tower looking east like her heart was breaking when it was a sunny summer day. With tears rolling down her cheeks, she'd answered him. Told him about the boy she'd raised and loved and had had to leave behind. Told him how he was graduating from Hogwarts that very day, and how she'd sworn to stay away until everything was settled. How she didn't want to drag him into this mess and for him to live as normal a life as he could. How it still hurt, painfully and desperately, but she'd do it because he was her son and she loved him so much. Then she'd quietly asked to be left alone and to please not bring him up again.

He'd done as she asked, leaving her alone out there on the balcony. He'd made sure that no one else disturbed her, and when she was back to her usual self the day after, he never brought it up. However, he never forgot. Never forgot that she loved that boy with her whole heart and soul for all that there wasn't a shared drop of blood between the two of them. And if he wanted her, then that boy would eventually be his as well. She'd accept nothing less. So he made plans. Plans he never actually told his wife about to respect his promise. However, while making them, he'd managed to make peace with the notion of Frigga being his mother.

Thor reels back like he's been slapped. "She had a child?"

"A son," he states flatly. "One she'd been forced to leave behind. His birth parents were killed in the war and they had named her his godmother. She raised him from an infant and then sent him off to school before Hela dumped her in—" His teeth clack from how quickly he shuts his mouth. Neither he or Thor have mentioned his imprisonment. He exhales sharply through his nose before continuing. "Before Hela dumped her in my cell," he finishes around clenched teeth.

Thor blinks. "I had wondered how you two met."

"Your cell?" Frigga repeats, concerned. "Loki, why were you in a cell?"

"Because I'd discovered I was Jotun, attempted to destroy Jotunheim with the Bifrost, fell off the bridge, and then under Thanos' influence, tried to take over Midgard," he snarls, temper worn and frayed. "Odin didn't particularly appreciate that, so into a cell I went."

"The Mad Titan?" Odin demands. "How did you come by him?"

He bristles, magic surging through his veins as his temper spikes like only Odin can make it. "I told you, I fell off the bridge! Thor destroyed the Observatory to save Jotunheim and I fell off shortly thereafter."

"You let go, brother," Thor softly corrects him. "You let go and we mourned your death for a year after."

"Well forgive me for thinking it better to be rid of you after discovering I was nothing more than a pawn!" he roars, leaping to his feet to tower over all three. "A stolen relic that no matter how much you may claim to love," he points a trembling finger at Odin, "you could never actually see sitting on the throne of Asgard!"

Silence falls after his outburst. Thor bows his head, unable to say anything. Frigga appears ready to cry again, and Loki hates himself for it. Odin, though? Odin appears defeated for the first time that Loki can remember.

"My son—"

"I am not your son," he hisses. "I have no father." Unable to bear to be in the man's presence anymore, Loki turns and storms out.