Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.
Seeing Red
Chapter: 23
Rika felt the familiar, welcome bump of her digivice back once more upon her hip as she sought out something to cling to. With a grunt, she adjusted her toes to keep from slipping off the brightly-colored protrusion on the otherwise grey wall. She thrust her hips out away from the wall, gaining herself much needed seconds while she stretched her arm out, snatching hold of another protrusion before pulling herself forward once more. Secure now, she cast her eyes about for another spot and repeated the motions, climbing still higher along the wall.
It had been some time since she last went bouldering, and it showed in how her muscles strained to handle the battle against gravity as she slowly and carefully made her way across the climbing wall. School, having taken priority in recent years, cut into her time considerably, barely leaving her with the time to do the things she enjoyed, be it taming or being with her friends. Being with Takato.
Takato. The name called forth the face of the boy in her mind. She frowned slightly while testing a handhold. Nodding to herself upon finding it secure, she used it to swing her feet over to a new footrest. Landing gracefully on her toes, she used them to pivot herself, angling for another protrusion she could get a grip on.
Things had settled back down to something approaching normal with regards to their dreams since Shibumi changed the code in their digivices. A week had come and gone without further incident in their dreams, yet Takato remained worried and on guard. This came as no surprise to her given everything that happened. She didn't blame him, though it seemed to her he was being more so than usual.
Calling me about a wet dream he had to make sure I didn't have the same one. She blushed in recollection and arched on her toes to reach a hold lying within reach. If it weren't for our digivices linking us together it would come off as pretty creepy.
Securing her grip, she let herself hang in the air for a moment while she analyzed the climbing path, planning out her route and double checking it against her original assessment. She huffed in annoyance at her slow progress. Slow wasn't by any means bad, but for her it was a sign of how much she let herself go since entering high school.
Taking a deep breath, she continued on. She felt her digivice bump against her hip once more and like a moth to the flame it drew her back to recent events. The digi-egg that had formed as a consequence of their mingling dreams was reported to be breaking down now. The degeneration was small and would take some time. The reasons why were speculated upon. Perhaps deprived of the 'nutrition' of their love and affection or some such. It wasn't at a critical point yet, but it left her wondering what to do about it.
It's not a proper digi-egg. No digi-core. She swung over to another spot and hung there to get her bearings. As of yet, she and Takato hadn't really discussed the matter of the digi-egg. Until yesterday, it hadn't even been breaking down, so they were more or less content to let the matter be and focus instead on reorienting their relationship to something a little less hectic. Events conspired to keep that from happening though. She knew Takato wanted to discuss how she felt about it. Her own thoughts were rather mixed, but at the same time, she felt something. Something she couldn't properly define. Concern?
No. She shook her head mentally. Something else. Close, but definitely something else. She focused on that feeling, needling it to tease out what it was. She found herself going back to that day where the two of them nearly made love to one another without protection, stopped only by Takato's concern for her wellbeing. What could have resulted from that union had they gone a step further without further thought made her wonder, and she found herself becoming all too self-conscious of her flat belly brushing up against the wall. She thought back to when she first met Takato and how frantic he always seemed to be about his partner's safety. A very parental instinct, looking back on it now.
Is this what it feels like? Being a mom to something?
A sound that could only be described as a loud cry of ecstasy – distorted somehow, as though it were coming through a phone – interrupted the calm of her concentration. Annoyed, she quickly glanced over her shoulder for the offending source and swiftly zeroed in on Renamon, disguised in her human form, phone in hand, and curiosity in her blue eyes. Her brow furrowed, trying to piece together just what was going on with her partner, only for the phone to answer in reply.
"Yes! Yes! Fuck me harder! Cum in my ass!"
"Renamon! Turn that off right now!"
The kitsune jerked, as if goosed by the sudden jump in volume in their mental connection. The phone swiftly silenced though and Renamon's blue eyes turned up at the furiously blushing Rika, violet eyes all but glaring daggers in embarrassment.
"My apologies, Rika," the kitsune said to her through their mental connection. "I wasn't aware that the video would be so disturbing in public."
Rika tilted her head at her partner as if to ask her what she could have been thinking.
"All these years in the real world and you didn't think it would be a bad idea to broadcast that you were looking at a porn video?!" she thought back.
"Not that. The volume. I wasn't expecting it to be so loud."
Rika sighed and relaxed her muscles, allowing herself to hang on the wall, held up only by her fingers, toes and her bones. If there was ever a time to bang her head against a wall, she had ample opportunity.
"What were you doing watching porn in the first place? I thought you said you wanted to use my phone to do research!"
"I am sorry. I'm not that familiar with using the Internet. I clicked a link that matched my search and that came up."
Rika groaned and pulling herself forward, lightly tapped her forehead against the wall.
"If my phone digivolves into Pornmon because it caught a virus you're going to be in serious trouble, Renamon."
"Oh dear…"
"Wait! Don't tell me that my phone did catch a virus?!"
"I…cannot say? Perhaps you had better come down."
With another groan, Rika hopped off the wall and landed gracefully on the floor. Marching on over, she held out her hand and Renamon passed her the phone. Quickly performing a virus scan she sighed with relief.
"Good. Nothing. So far. The world is safe." Curious, Rika took a glance at Renamon's internet history. She immediately regretted it.
Watch girl beg for anal creampie! Free hardcore video!
"Oh, for goodness sake." Grimacing, she closed out of the search function and cleared her history. "If I were your mom, I'd probably ground you from the phone and our computer. What were you even searching for anyway?"
"Perhaps it would be best if we don't discuss that out in the open." Renamon gestured about them with a nod of her head. All around them, some of the people climbing the walls were casting odd looks in their direction. Rika's face colored.
"Fiiine." Crossing her arms, Rika harumphed. "After that little show, I'm going to need to lie low for a while."
"Apologies. It was not my intention to interrupt your training."
"Don't worry about it," Rika shrugged, starting toward the exit. "So, what were you searching for?" she resumed through their mental link. "Does this have to do with your lessons with Henry?"
"I have concerns as to how I might be able to further my studies. As you know, we digimon do not have genitalia for sexual copulation the way humans do."
"You mean how you don't have any at all. Yeah, I know." Rika frowned and shot a hard look at her partner. "Renamon, please don't tell me you're looking for a way to have sex with Henry just because you think it will help you help me. I think that's going a little too far now."
Renamon cocked her head to one side. "I have considered that as well. I was merely weighing possibilities for the future. Henry has suggested that we move slowly and I agree with him. From my studies, sex seems to be best when the two partners involved care deeply for one another. It is a very intimate affair."
"And you can hurt Henry because of that. What if he gets attached to you? Renamon, this is a bad idea. Don't do it."
Renamon paused briefly before replying, "Very well. I did have my doubts so I will defer to you. In the event that he would be amenable I was also uncertain if we even could make love."
"How would you have been able to try to begin with? You literally can't have sex!"
"From what I saw, humans have a variety of methods that don't require a vagina. Though I must confess as to why you would use your anus or mouth for such a thing."
"Oh, for goodness sake, Renamon. Let's just stop the conversation right there, okay? Please." With a groan, Rika buried her face into her palm. Of all the things she had envisioned about becoming a Tamer, talking about various methods of sex hadn't even been on the list of her concerns.
Still, the thought had been planted and already her imagination was building a fantasy around the seed. Their dream dalliances had been real enough, but fortunately Takato hadn't gotten her pregnant, which was a welcome relief. If her mother and grandmother were any indication, the risk of pregnancy seemed to run high in her family. She wasn't on birth-control either, something that, in retrospect, was a clear error in judgment on her part. Should she talk to her mother about acquiring some? She wondered if that would even be a good idea.
I can only imagine how that would go down, she thought with trepidation. Maybe if we ever get it in us to actually have sex, we can try something like what Renamon was researching? Would that be less risky?
Rika felt the heat in her face rising and she shook her head, trying to dispel such thoughts. Such efforts did her no good however, instead making them worse. Already her imagination conjured up an image of herself on her hands and knees, Takato behind her, holding her by the waist. She imagined feeling his penis press against her sphincter muscle, forcing it to expand to allow him entry into her anal cavity. Would it feel good? The doujinshi Jeri lent her had boys doing it a lot to one another, and even some of the ones involving girls. But was that really the reality?
She shuddered, remembering how close they had gotten to having sex in the waking world, and that time without protection. Something else she and Takato needed to talk about.
Of all the people to act like a gogglehead at the time, I had to be the one! I need to be better than that.
With a huff, Rika stormed off down the street, a part of her wishing her life had not become so complicated.
###
"Hey! Chumley! You awake?"
Takato jerked as Kazu's voice broke him out of his thoughts. Looking up from his school books, he saw his friend giving him a concerned look. Or rather, what passed for concern to his well-trained eye. To an outsider, the boy's scrunched up brow and wolfish, domineering face came across more like anger if not annoyance at being ignored.
"Sorry," Takato said, shaking his head to clear its cobwebs. "Uh, what were you saying?"
"I was asking you to show me what you got for this section on the Sengoku era."
Takato glanced down at his notes. They were quite clear and he knew he didn't have to doublecheck to make sure any of the dates or names were correct. Yet, his thoughts were divided and he had difficulty paying any attention to what was on the page. Or to his friend for that matter. He made a glum expression at his lack of attentiveness and pinched himself.
"Uh, are you okay?"
"Yeah. I mean, kind of." He gave his friend an apologetic look. "Just got a lot on my mind."
Kazu nodded in understanding. Like the rest of their group, he knew about how his friend's budding relationship with Rika had rather unexpectedly produced a digi-egg thanks to some coding in their digivices. With the pair grounded for a week, it necessitated the rest of the team to help out more with patrols, which cut into Kazu's time for working on his summer assignments.
"Sorry," Takato repeated, leaning his cheek into his palm. "I guess I'm a little too distracted right now. I'll do my best to fix that."
"How about you take a breather?" Kazu said. Lifting his arms, he stretched and let out a loud yawn. "This stuff is pretty boring, so I can see why you'd be off in your own head." He gave Takato a wolfish grin. "Especially when it involves Rika."
A faint blush touched Takato's features, but otherwise he didn't respond to Kazu's jibe. Instead, he continued to look glumly at his notebook. Kazu pressed his lips together, giving his friend a contemplative look. After a moment, he got up.
"I've got to use the bathroom. Masturbate or something to clear your head. You'll feel a lot better for it."
Seeing Takato's horrified expression, he grinned.
"At least that got a reaction from you. I'll take my time getting back. Just give me a warning first when I knock, okay?"
"Kazu…"
"See you in a few, Chumley."
Takato sighed as the taller boy exited the room with a laugh.
"There's no way that'll clear my head," he murmured. Leaning back into a patch of sunshine, he stared up at the ceiling. The sounds of the bakery filtered up from down below. Guilmon running chores alongside his father. His mother manning the cash register and chatting with the regular customers. The steady tap-tap-tap against his glass door.
Wait a second.
Seeing the shadow falling over him, blocking out the warmth of the sunlight, he turned to find Rika standing on his terrace, a small, wintery smile on her lips. Feeling a rush of concern for her, he shot up and bolted over to the door.
"Hey!" he greeted, yanking it open. "What's up? Did something happen?" A cold chill ran through his heart. "Is it about the digi-egg?"
Rika frowned. There was a note of something like fear in his voice she didn't like. He had picked it up ever since their dream dalliances occurred. For now, she let it go.
"It's nothing," she said, stepping into his room. Unexpectedly, her hand came up and brushed against his chin for a moment before lowering. Her eyes were thoughtful, yet troubled.
"W-Where's Renamon?" he asked, looking back at the terrace.
"Hiding from embarrassment," Rika grunted, stuffing her hands into her pocket.
"Huh? Say wha…?"
"I'm joking. Well, kind of. She's going to see Henry." Her eyes flickered over to the boy. "You remember Renamon's little 'research project' with him, right?"
"Uh, kind of?" Takato scratched his cheek. "I mean, I remember you telling me about how Renamon wants Henry to show her what dating is? Henry's been kind of… Well, I'm not sure if hesitating is the right word…"
"I just had a talk with Renamon about butt stuff," she interrupted impatiently, a profuse blush standing out prominently on her cheeks. Takato blinked, his mouth a silent 'O' as he worked it out in his brain.
"Uh," he began with great hesitation, drawing his own conclusions with great care. "What kind of 'butt stuff' do you mean? You mean, like, uh…" His face began to turn a deep red as Rika looked at him. A beat later, the boy said, "This is kind of hard to say."
"If it's your first guess, then yes. Yes, that's what I mean."
They stared at each other for a moment in awkward, blushing silence.
"Butt stuff," Takato repeated. "With…? That so weird to even think about. I…"
"What's this about butt stuff?"
Takato gave a surprised squawk at Kazu's voice. Rika didn't blame him. Having been so focused on their conversation, she jumped a little herself. Upon seeing the boy, she gave him a glare.
"Ugh. What's he doing here?"
"We're working on his summer homework. Because he's been filling in for us on patrols, he hasn't had as much time to work on it."
"And you couldn't have at least warned me before I started spouting off about…things?" Rika said heatedly, giving Takato a hard glare. To his credit, Takato didn't flinch.
"To be fair, I didn't even know you were going to start talking about that."
"I could leave if you want," Kazu pointed out, his tone one of surprising maturity. "This looks like something pretty serious between you guys and Jeri says I should leave you alone whenever things like this come up."
Rika looked at Kazu in bewilderment.
"Okay, did a Parasimon possess you or something? Isn't this the part where you say something stupid or gross?"
"Hey, even I can learn sometimes." He gave Rika a wolfish grin. "Unless you want me to stick around. I don't mind watching the fireworks."
"Yeah, that's not happening. I think you need to go now. We'll try this again later." Taking hold of Kazu by the shoulders, he immediately began to steer him in the direction out of the room. Kazu only resisted in the slightest, laughing all the while.
"Hey! Chumley! Take it easy, I was just kidding! Hey! I still need my books!"
"I got them," Rika sighed while collecting Kazu's things. Still, in spite of her earlier embarrassment, she allowed a small smile to cross her features. Seeing Takato be a little forceful in his handling of Kazu instead of simply rolling with his antics was rather amusing and, oddly, comforting.
Together, they packed Kazu off with only a little teasing from his end. Once gone, Takato closed the door, leaving the two of them alone.
"I'll make it up to him for showing tact for a change," Rika said, smiling softly at her gogglehead while he leaned against the door. "Sorry for interrupting by the way."
"It's okay. I mean, we've still got a couple weeks left and it's mostly reviewing history. I'll call him later and we can work something out." Giving Rika an awkward smile, he scratched his cheek. "So, uh, you wanted to talk about Renamon and Henry?"
"First things first, Takato."
Still smiling, Rika approached Takato, leaning closely until they were almost nose to nose. Her hand cupped her lover-boy's chin and she closed the remaining distance between them. Their lips met and Rika pressed herself against him. She felt him tremble at her affections and his hands rose to grace her back. Encouraged, she pressed against him harder and her hand went to his cheek. Shifting the angle of her face, she decided to be a little bolder and deepened their kiss. Takato's response was to grab great fistfuls of her shirt and make a muffled, surprised noise. Rika giggled against his mouth and drew back. Takato's breath came out heavy and a dark blush bled all across his face.
"W-What was that for?" he croaked, lips twitching into an awkward smile.
"What? I can't do something because I'm happy to be alone with you?" Her thumb traced along his cheekbone, feeling the heat baking off his skin. Takato swallowed.
"W-W-Well, you sounded like you wanted to talk about Henry and-and Renamon."
Sighing, Rika leaned her forehead against his. "I do, kind of. Or maybe not. I don't know." She closed her eyes and made an annoyed sound. "I'm probably looking for an excuse to avoid talking about them and other things. And, I guess maybe I just want to make sure things are still okay between us." Reopening her eyes, she gazed into his crimson orbs. "We've both been a little weird lately, you know."
Smiling warmly at her, Takato's hand reached up and took hold of her fingers, clasping them gently. Rika smiled back. She couldn't see a trace of his earlier apprehension.
"Weird kind of comes with the job description. Although I wouldn't have expected butt stuff to be part of that."
Rika made a small, complaining sound and gently bumped her forehead against his.
"Maybe I'm using that to avoid talking about the other things we need to talk about. I mean, it's weird no matter how you look at it, but I think Renamon won't do anything that will be stupid or hurt Henry. We should probably just leave them alone."
"She's pretty smart and straight forward," Takato nodded in agreement. "Not to mention she cares about us." He thought back to when he first heard about Henry and Renamon's 'dating' lessons. He had been a little too preoccupied to really understand what was going on, but he could see the logic in it. Renamon was a big part of Rika's life after all and it was expected she would continue to do so well into her adult years. It made a certain kind of sense.
"Not sure I could do that with Guilmon though."
Rika's eyes went wide at that and the next thing she knew she was barely suppressing a laugh.
"D-Don't say that!" she choked, struggling to hang on. She tried to imagine Guilmon going on a date with someone, kissing them or asking about 'butt stuff.' It didn't fit with his naïve, childlike innocence.
Not to mention that whole business where he licks Takato like a petmon. I – Oh no. Rika clenched her eyes shut as the sudden and unexpected image of Takato and Guilmon embracing one another sensually filled her mind. Clapping a hand over her mouth, Rika trembled, laughter over the absurdity of the idea threatened to bubble over.
"Uh, are you okay?" Takato asked, lifting an eyebrow.
"I-I'm fine," Rika replied behind her mouth. "I just had a really bad thought right now." Her chest heaved suddenly as she now began imagining Guilmon's tongue engulf Takato's penis and begin suckling on it like a straw. It was becoming too much. All she needed was a final push.
"Needs a lot more cream filling," floated up Guilmon's voice from downstairs, as if right on cue. That did it. She could no longer hold back. A loud, melodious laugh burst free from her mouth and escaped the confines of her hand. Clutching her stomach, she doubled over and just let the laughter run rampant over her. Takato could only stand there and watch Rika sink slowly to the floor, perplexed, until the fit passed.
"You're all a bad influence on me," Rika panted once it was all over. "You and Jeri especially, but you're all responsible."
"I don't even know what's going on," Takato grinned uncertainly. Sniffing, Rika shook her head.
"Forget it. It's probably better that you don't know."
That you don't know I just imagined you and your partner making love to one another. Rika's face flushed in embarrassment, but she held firm.
"Oookay…" Takato scratched the back of his head before shrugging and joining her on the floor. "Anyway, so what did you want to talk about?"
Rika sobered up quickly and she looked away.
"It's about the digi-egg," Takato said, taking her silence for its meaning.
"What do you think about it?" she asked, curling her hands into tight fists.
Takato was silent for a moment, weighing his thoughts. He had thought about it on and off in the week since learning of its inception. It was difficult to know where to stand because, as Shibumi said, it wasn't a proper digi-egg. It had no core. And yet…
"Sometimes I think about how it appeared because we care about one another. I guess I like that." He smiled at Rika, but only for a second before his eyes became thoughtful and introspective again. "I wish it hadn't happened the way it did though. I mean, it was really creepy what happened. Me…"
"Us," Rika reminded.
"Us," he nodded reluctantly, "making love to one another in our dreams." He ran a hand through his hair and breathed a heavy sigh. "It was really surreal. And that made a digi-egg."
"Kind of makes you wonder, huh?"
"Wonder what?"
Rika's thumb traced along her fist nervously.
"What it might have been like, if we had gone all the way that day. Don't tell me you haven't thought about it."
A faint blush touched Takato's cheeks once more and he swallowed. There hadn't been a day where he thought about that moment in her room. He remembered the brief touch his penis had with the entrance to her vagina, feeling its damp, swollen heat. He remembered her smooth, pale skin, completely bereft of her usual clothes and the swell of her soft breasts.
"I wouldn't say something like that," came his soft reply. Reaching out, he took hold of her fist and her thumb's movements stilled. "But it's not easy for me to talk about. Well, other than how you looked beautiful."
Opening her hand, Rika accepted Takato's touch into her own.
"You're such a dork. But, thanks" She blushed, pleased by his compliment.
"What do you think about it?"
Rika hmphed, but there wasn't much force behind it.
"I can't seem to make up my mind about it. I keep thinking about what it could be. It's not anything right now and it's…" She paused and pressed her lips together tightly. "It's not anything except that it's getting worse because…because we're being halfhearted about this? I don't know if that's the right way to phrase it."
"Do you want it to become a digimon?" Takato asked.
"Do you?" Rika returned, glancing at him. Takato swallowed.
"I'd be lying if I didn't think it would be the coolest thing in the world seeing a digimon be born. Especially since I missed Guilmon's hatching. But you know. This is kind of a big deal. I mean, I didn't know what to expect when I created Guilmon. Except that it wasn't at all like I thought it would be. It's totally different from the show. And this time, it's not just me that's involved."
Rika saw memory move within his eyes. She wasn't fully aware of everything that happened during his early days as a Tamer, but what she did see was a boy who hadn't been prepared for the – often literally – enormous responsibility suddenly thrust upon him. It had forced him to mature and both he and Guilmon emerged from the experience quite well. Without question he saw the birth of a digimon as an incredible thing, but his experience tempered it.
And for herself? She had been lucky. Renamon was far more mature than Guilmon. There was no real comparison to be made between their two partners back then. She arrived knowing how to survive on her own if she had to. A large house with ample room to hide in. An even larger city when that wouldn't suffice. Able and willing to fight and capable of controlling the amount of force she brought to a conflict. Light in her step and willing to weather a young girl's temper. Rika didn't have to go through the difficulties Takato faced raising Guilmon.
Would we have to raise it? Rika squeezed Takato's hand, feeling uncertain and deeply conflicted. The feeling of concern for the digi-egg from earlier came back hard. Are we even ready for that? Scratch that. Takato is. Am I? Takato can be a dad. Could I be a mom?
She felt the full weight of responsibility come crashing down on her. It frightened her, thinking about it. She remembered what a handful she had been – and still was – for her own mother and grandmother. And with her short temper, did she dare inflict herself on a digimon baby? What was more, did the creation of this digimon obligate them to create a partner for it? Or would it find a suitable one on its own?
No one's ever done this before. Well, Takato kind of, but not like this. How long do we have? How long does that digi-egg have?
She thought back to the meeting with Hypnos when its degeneration was discovered. Days. Weeks. Months. Nothing certain, save that the shell was currently deteriorating at a very slow rate. But that could change at any time.
"Maybe we should get our digivices fixed again," she said quietly, more to herself than to Takato. "Have them go back to the way they were. Maybe that'll fix the digi-egg."
"Are you sure?" Takato asked. Blinking, Rika looked up at him, as if remembering he were still there.
"No," she admitted. She pressed her lips together, feeling very conflicted about the whole thing. "I mean, sure, it's just data. I mean, literally just data. There's no real digimon in there, but…"
She trailed off uncertainly as she said those words. She didn't feel right saying them. They reminded her too much of how she used to be, back when she first became a Tamer. Granted, there was a gulf of difference between who she was and how she changed over that first year, especially after biomerging with Renamon to become Sakuyamon, but those words stuck with her.
Am I just trying to brush it off? Make it easier for me to say that we just let it disappear on its own?
She didn't like how that sounded to her. She needed something to make her confront that fear, or at least give it some real-world context. Something she could relate to better.
She squeezed Takato's hand again, an answer coming to her.
"Takato?" she began, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Yeah?"
"This is going to sound crazy, but…" She paused for a moment to worry over her lip before continuing. "But I need to know something first. Could I… Could I see you masturbate?"
Her grip around Takato's hand became vicelike and a blush bloomed brightly across her face. She became all too aware of Takato's surprised expression.
For Takato himself, the surprise was warranted, but not unexpected. She had asked him once before at her home, following their aborted attempt at making love. At the time, he recognized it had been more frank curiosity on her part about how his boy-parts worked, but now he sensed there was something more behind her request. Something related to the conversation about the digi-egg. He didn't understand what it might be. Only that she considered it important for her to know something about it from firsthand experience.
"Sure," Takato replied, nodding gravely. Rika blinked, taken aback.
"Sure? You're okay with this?"
Takato nodded and gave her a placating smile. Rika closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath.
"You are, without a doubt, the most goggleheaded person I've ever met. You're not even going to ask why?"
"I think I have an idea." Drawing her close, Takato kissed her lips. Rika returned it gratefully. They held each other like that for a moment before drawing apart, Takato's hands massaging her shoulders.
"So, would you like for me to start now?"
"I-If you're fine with it. Do you need help or anything?"
"Um…" Takato began to feel self-conscious. It wasn't the first time she had seen his penis, but now it carried a weight of responsibility on it. "I-I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything."
Rika cocked her head to one side while giving him a hard, meaningful look that said, "Are we going to have this talk again?!"
Takato let out a nervous chuckle, hoping to lighten the mood. "Sorry. I, ah, I might need a moment."
"If you need anything to help you out, let me know."
Rika blushed at that, but she meant what she said. She knew she was asking a lot and it was undoubtedly awkward being put on the spot like this. She met Takato's gaze without flinching. Her heart beat a rapid pace in her chest, afraid of how he might see her now because of her request, but she did her best to ignore such fears. Takato was Takato after all. He loved her and accepted her, just like she did him.
"Okay." With slow, deliberate movements, Takato rose to his feet and unbuckled his pants. His eyes remained focused on Rika's, who watched him with a nervous, expectant look. A rosy complexion rose within her cheeks and, feeling a little more comfortable, Takato felt his penis begin to swell in response. His belt clattered open, its sound strangely loud like a thunderclap in the room. Taking hold of the hem of his pants and underwear, he drew them both down, exposing himself to Rika.
Her breath caught.
She had seen it before, but it still took her by surprise even now. The strange, hose-like organ, rising from the brown tuft of hair between Takato's legs, its mushroom shaped head rapidly swelling, filling with blood. Its reality struck her hard.
This thing can get me pregnant, she thought. And it might feel good if I risked letting it.
Her heart quickened its pace at that realization. She remembered the dampness she felt around the head when she first touched it all those days ago. Her eyes went to the urethral opening at its head. Her mind flashed back to when she first saw Takato ejaculate.
That's where his sperm comes out of.
She clenched her fists together tightly. This was happening so fast. Or rather, her mind was moving too quickly. She needed to slow down. To catch up with what was happening.
"Sorry, there's not much to look at," Takato laughed nervously. "I mean, it must look pretty weird, huh?"
"Y-Yeah. But…" Rika swallowed, trying to slow down her mind. "It's not bad weird. Just kind of different."
Takato's penis rose a little at that, seemingly pleased by the compliment. Deciding to take the next step, as he was at a loss for words to say, his hand closed about his member and began to slowly, rhythmically, stroke it. Rika tilted her head slightly. His erection appeared different to what she remembered the previous two times. His penis was long, but clearly not at its maximum as it was not fully erect. She glanced up at Takato's face and read the tension in his eyes. The worry and anxiety. She wondered if that sort of thing interfered at all with the process.
Probably. It makes sense. Neither of us are really comfortable right now and he still worries about how I feel about all this. And he's right to feel that way.
She scowled mentally. She hated that he felt that way, even if she couldn't blame him for it.
"Sorry," Takato began, starting to pump his hand along his penis in an effort to breathe more life into it. His erection, though not flaccid, still refused to bring itself to full mast. "I'm kind of having a little trouble."
"I can see that. Here. Let me help."
"Huh?"
Climbing to her feet, Rika moved closer and brushed the head of his penis with her fingers. His penis twitched appreciatively and she felt the muscles begin to harden in response. Takato let out a surprised hiss of breath at her touch.
"Are you alright?" she asked, her fingers gently encircling his member now. Her eyes fell on his erection, watching it grow a little more. Muscles hardened within her grasp and a thin dampness formed at the urethral opening.
How does this not feel uncomfortable for boys?! They carry these things between their legs?
"Y-Yeah!" Takato hurriedly nodded. "I-I just wasn't e-expecting that."
Rika grinned at him playfully, feeling a little more at ease now. "You like surprises, huh? I'll be sure to remember that."
"Jeez…" Takato's breath grew deeper as she began to pump him. "That-That sounds almost scary the way you say that. I… I…"
He gasped harshly in pleasure as she gave him a soft squeeze accompanying a long, drawn-out pump of his penis. Rika couldn't help herself. She giggled.
Cute.
Her eyes softened then and she found herself feeling a little regretful. It almost felt like she was toying with him now for her own pleasure instead of learning somethingthat could potentially help her with the digi-egg situation.
Am I taking advantage of him?
She lightened her grip on Takato's penis and slowed her ministrations. Sensing something had changed, Takato got control of his breathing and pushed through the pleasure that was clouding his mind.
"H-Hey. Are you alright?"
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Rika asked. Deciding to experiment, she changed the angle of her wrist so that her hand now lay beneath his penis. This gave her a full, unobstructed view of the organ. "I mean, it's not like we're doing this for fun or anything. You're doing this because I'm…being a little bit goggleheaded."
Frowning, Takato drew her close to him and wrapped his arms about her shoulders. He kissed the top of her head before bringing himself to rest against it.
"Don't say things like that," he said softly, seemingly unmindful of the fact that her hand continued to stroke him. A nail gently prodded his tip before she squeezed him again. "W-We're just in a weird spot right now. We'll get through it like we always do, right?"
I'm holding your dick and you're trying to raise my morale. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. The whole situation was ridiculous. They were being ridiculous and they needed to be less so. Closing her eyes and took in his comforting scent, she then wrapped her free arm about his waist, pulling him close. They stood like that for a while, rocking against one another in what could only be seen as a loose waltz. Again, Takato kissed her head and she sighed, feeling strangely happy for the gesture.
For goodness sake, he's such a dork, she thought while her hand continued to massage him. Yet, she found herself smiling all the same. This was the Takato she fell in love with. That she missed in all the strangeness that had been going on over the last few days. Drawing in a deep breath, she spoke up.
"You know, you can touch me. If you want to, I'm fine with it."
She felt Takato go rigid at that and her tempo on his penis slowed ever so slightly.
"W-Where?" he asked, a quiet tremor in his voice. She shifted her head so that it lay against his chest. She could hear the beating of his heart over her own drumbeat. He was nervous. They both were.
"Wherever's fine. Whatever you want to touch, it's fine."
At first, he didn't do anything. She could feel the tension in his body rise a degree, wrestling in indecision. Finally, his hands rose, first brushing against her hair, stroking its smooth, silken strands. She felt a tug at her ponytail, a grunt from the boy and then her hair fell to her back in one smooth motion. From there, his hands resumed stroking the long strands following their length down to her shoulder blades before coming to rest there, prodding at something questioningly. She wondered about it for a moment before realizing what had caught his attention. The rough protrusions of her bra poked against thin cotton of her shirt where his fingers quested about. She shifted, causing them to hesitate questioningly.
Her answer was to continue running her hand along his length. She did not retreat or otherwise move further. A silent invitation for him to continue.
His fingers resumed their explorations, taking their time and not rushing in spite of their anxiety. Her heartrate rose in response, but she continued to let him go at his pace, continuing still further south, leaving her hair behind. She heard the sound of his skin drawing down along the fabric before coming to rest against the top of her jeans. There, his hands sat again, fingers brushing at the borders of both top and bottom, as if uncertain where to go. She felt his heartrate quicken and the temperature of his skin go up. She drew her thumb along the head of his penis and felt him quiver.
"Oh man…" he breathed sharply, and then he slipped underneath her shirt.
His hands felt cool at first along her back, sending rich, delicious chills running along her spine. He quickly warmed though and soon he began to trace along her ribs and toward her front. Rika pulled back, not to break away, but to give him room to explore. She smiled up at him as he moved ever close toward her front, granting silent permission for him to continue. His face was flushed, and his eyes were focused tightly on hers, searching them for even the slightest hint of discomfort or disgust. Finding none, he continued northward, finally coming to rest against the soft mounds of her bra-covered breasts.
In spite of herself, Rika was exploring now as well. Her free hand was roaming along his waist, likewise sliding beneath his shirt to grace his stomach. There was no hardness there. No thick set of stomach muscles, but she didn't expect any. Instead, she found muscles that twitched, trying to retreat. She grinned at his ticklishness and wondered if she could tickle him to orgasm as he had with her. Mischief flashed in her violet eyes and she splayed her hand out across his bellybutton. Nails tapped gently, but did not bite or otherwise find purchase. No, she wouldn't do anything that could potentially ruin this moment, her touch promised another time all the same under more relaxed conditions. Instead, she drew close once more and her hand circled about, finding his back. There she found hard muscle and unlike his stomach it did not retreat from her touch. Sliding down, she closed her fingers around a spot on his rear and squeezed, earning her a harsh gasp. Takato immediately pushed against her in response. Breaking free from her grasp, his penis pressed feverishly against her belly. His hands abruptly thrust beneath her bra, shoving it up and allowing him access to her breasts. And there his touch sat, shivering, fingers sinking into her skin.
"R-Rika…" he stammered out and she felt his member quiver against her stomach, pushing urgently, instinctively seeking some kind of entry that would lead into her. "I think I'm… Oh man… I'm getting close."
Rika nodded, suddenly remembering what they were doing. She had gotten so lost in the moment, she almost forgot.
"Okay." Her finger wandering over to the cleft of his buttocks. "Whenever you're ready. Just warn me first, okay?"
"Y-Yeah," he stammered out, feeling muscles beginning to flex in his crotch. He closed his eyes and shivered, heat and pleasure surging from his length and up into his chest, causing his heart to flutter excitedly.
Her finger slid down and poked at the entrance to his anus, causing him to draw in a sharp breath. His hands squeezed her breasts tight suddenly, leaving deep, red impressions in her pale skin.
"Ow! Easy there, Gogglehead!" Rika winced, feeling a flash of sharp pain in her chest.
"S-Sorry!" Takato immediately withdrew his touch and began to slide out of her shirt. "Maybe we should call this off."
Moving on swift instinct, Rika's hands grabbed hold of his arms before they could fully slip free. She knew what was going through his mind and wanted to head it off before it could continue to plant seeds.
"Takato, it's okay." She gave him a placating smile and placed his hands back on her chest. "I said I'm fine with you touching, so touch. Just not so hard, okay? I'm not bread dough."
She let out a giggle at her joke, but she saw him looking at her seriously. Without even needing to guess, she knew what thoughts were swirling around in his head.
"Don't tell me that you don't know how what I did makes me feel," came the memory from a week ago, during their argument about their dreams and what he inadvertently did to her. She saw she needed to set the record straight again.
"Takato, I think it's cute that you worry about I feel, but if you keep freaking out over everything you don't mean to do or didn't even know you were doing, we're going to have problems. I'm fine with you being into this. I'm fine with you making mistakes. Just don't have a meltdown over it." To further set him at ease, she leaned into his grasp, giving him as much of a handful of herself as he could get. "Like you said, we'll get through this. So, let's get through this."
"Rika…"
She silenced him with a kiss.
Realizing that she wasn't going to let him say much else until they were done, he began to tenderly knead her breasts, taking care so as to not accidently hurt her like before. She pushed against him appreciatively in response and embraced him once more, moaning into his mouth. Her nervous heart beat in time with his and she began to venture forth once more. Her hands explored his buttocks again, enjoying the feel of the tight muscle in her hands before slipping back into the crevice between the two, tight mounds. Warmth that had been building between her legs began to grow, and she felt the familiar ache of the muscles inside her. Her footing shifted, and the ache lessened, but only by a hair's breadth. Without thinking, she pressed Takato's penis against her jeans where her crotch lay hidden. A soft moan escaped her lips and she found herself pressing back needily. The head of his penis slid up, brushing against a button and there a tiny bit of clear liquid seeped out, soaking into the fabric. Closing her eyes, Rika bit Takato's lip against visions of taking it a step further to bring him closer to her warmth.
"If you just popped open a button…" began her imagination, but she stamped down on that thought ruthlessly.
This i-isn't about that! she reminded herself. With an effort, she pulled her hips back a bit. The heat between her legs and indeed the whole song of her body groaned angrily in exasperation.
"Rika?" Takato asked, having heard her. "Are you…?"
"I-It's nothing," she said, trying to ignore the pleasure rising in her chest as Takato's hands continued to roam about, squeezing her breasts lovingly. "Keep going."
His questing fingers found her nipples and her body, already electrified, gave her a little shock that she just barely managed to repress by rising onto her toes and grabbing tightly ahold of Takato's taut buttocks. She leaned against him, for a moment, breathing heavily and shivering. Her mind whirled dizzily and she knew she couldn't go on like this for much longer as she was. She had to hold on. To give herself something to do, she poked again at his sphincter muscle, pushing inward curiously, noting his earlier reaction to her attention there. His fingers tightened again on her breasts, but this time with greater restraint than before. His breath quickened, but he didn't try to pull away or anything, so she took that as silent permission to continue. She pushed a little, wiggling her finger against his anus. The muscle however stubbornly refused her entry. Unsure if she might hurt him if she pressed further, she withdrew. All the while, she continued to squeeze and grope his rear, this time with greater intensity as the heat in her body grew to an almost feverish pitch. The ache swelling inside her wanted something more than this. Wanted a release for the building pressure! Leaning forward, she kissed his neck and, seized by inspiration, pressed her teeth against his bare skin and bit him.
"R-Rik-ugh!"
She felt Takato spasm suddenly, both in her hand and in her mouth. Pulling back out of fear and concern, she had little time to ask if he was alright. A tremor ran the length of his body, but strongly centered itself around his crotch. There, before her eyes, she saw his penis convulse and then a thick, white liquid shot forth from the head, spilling first a great, thick heat into her palm before a second shot splashed along her forearm. It was warm. Warmer than she thought it would be and reminded her a little of the sunlight beaming in from the window. It rapidly began to cool though, but as it did so, the liquid was soon joined by another, less powerful splash as Takato's penis continued to contract, forcing its contents up along its length and out through its exit. Another moment, followed by three and then Takato's body relaxed with a heavy slump, his orgasm over, with only a thin trickle of sperm hanging from his softening member remaining.
"W-Wow," the boy panted, his face red and his eyes dazed. "That… Oh man."
Rika smiled with a touch of concern. Her eyes fell on his neck, seeing the bruising her teeth had made there.
Where had that come from? she wondered, surprised and even frightened a little at herself for having marked him like that.
"Are you okay?" she asked, semen-covered fingers flexing around the liquid heat pooled in her palm.
"Yeah. I just…" Takato braced himself on his knees, taking deep breaths to steady himself. "I just never felt like that before. It really is something different when there's another person. Rika…" Looking up, he positively beamed. She blushed, and a second later, the boy, his eyes trailing over to her semen-covered hand. Looking on, he saw a trail of sperm slowly drip down the side of her palm, leaving a pregnant droplet hanging off the edge. He coughed, looking embarrassed.
"Ah, S-Sorry about the mess. Um, one second. I'll get you something."
"R-Right. Thanks." Rika gazed at the cooling sperm on her and flexed her hand where the greatest amount had pooled. Strands of sperm stuck to her fingers like spider silk. The force of it had quite taken her by surprise. It reached almost all the way up to her elbow! And there was quite a lot of it.
"Here you go," Takato said, hurriedly snatching up the tissue box from off his desk and handing it to her. She took it, but didn't take anything out yet. Still gazing at the milky-white substance staining her skin, she gave it much consideration.
This is where Takato and I came from. Well, half of us anyway. DNA. Not a person, but the potential to make one if it merges with an egg.
She flexed her hand again. The sperm, having quite cooled now, was quickly drying. Save for the spots where it had collected the thickest. Inside that cloudy, thick substance were who knew how many sperm cells, each one now in a frantic search for an egg cell. Her egg cell.
This is data too. When it merges with one of my eggs, their data starts a chain reaction that makes something. Something that will eventually become a person. This is how Takato and I started out. Two halves of a DNA program or something coming together. A billion and one maybe-destinies where anything can happen.
"That wasn't too gross for you, was it?" Takato asked, breaking her train of thought with a yank of his pants. Turning, Rika raised an eyebrow at first before looking back at the sperm. Now that she thought about it, it did feel a little bit gross. Kind of like snot even in terms of texture. She took out a tissue, thought about it for a moment before taking out a half-dozen more.
"It's fine, don't worry about it." She flashed him a quick smile while she wiped herself down. Much to her surprise, it cleaned up quite easily, though it required more tissues than she anticipated. "Thanks, by the way. As weird as it sounds, I think… I think this helped me a little. I still need to think it over though."
"As long as it helps." He scratched his head, looking uncertain. Tilting her head, Rika frowned a little.
"What's that look for? You're not still freaked out because you grabbed me a little hard earlier, are you?" Admittedly, her breasts were still a bit sore from that, but she ignored that for the moment and instead gave him a pointed look. One that said she would not be amused if he still were upset about his unexpected 'enthusiasm.' Takato quickly shook his head, though a shadow of guilt crossed his face all the same.
"No! I was just wondering…" He blushed, fumbling at his words before falling back into them again. "I was just wondering if you wanted me to do anything else for you? I mean, you were getting kind of into it too and, well, I'd feel like a real heel if I didn't…you know."
Rika's face softened, liking what she heard.
Gogglehead, she thought affectionately. Her warmth, not in the least bit lessened, grew in appreciation, trying to incite her to further action. Action that she had more than half a mind to allow now. Closing the distance between them, she pulled him close and gave him a loving kiss. Takato's hands reached up, brushing back her hair. Cupping her cheeks, he deepened their kiss. She groaned again and her breath quickened, enjoying his more assertive stance. So rare that it often came as a surprise. A most welcome surprise.
Taking it as a challenge, she pushed back against him and laughed against his kiss. She felt him shift, trying to maintain their balance and as a consequence, his thigh slipped between her legs. There! There she felt a tiny sliver of relief as her crotch pushed against it, and with it quiver of excitement ran through her. Pressing harder now, she clamped a hand against his leg and drew herself to it, trying to mash it against her hidden flesh.
The end result was the two of them falling to the floor in a tangle of limbs and surprised squawks.
"A-Are you alright?" Takato asked, brushing Rika's hair out of his eyes. Rika only laughed breathily and looked at him, eyes flashing excitedly.
I will be, she was about to say, but even as she opened her mouth to say so, she caught sight of his penis, already starting to excitedly swell once more to full erection. There her attention hovered for a moment, and she felt then as though two sides of her were at war, the chief architect of which was the influence provided by her warm, damp sex.
"Slip it in," One part of her mind told her. "You've been wanting it for so long and here he is, eager to please you. He might not stop you this time."
He might not. Her eyes moved to Takato's and she envisioned how they would look if she just climbed onto his waist and lowered herself onto his penis, taking him into her where her insides would hug him tightly. The fact that she had not even taken off her jeans did not enter her mind. Only the act and how they reacted to one another. Her breath caught in her throat, imagining how his red gaze would grow wide with surprise before dissolving into pleasure as she would begin to ride him, urging his hips to buck against hers in mutual satisfaction at finally achieving the union they both desired with one another. It would feel so good and she knew how badly she wanted to feel this with him and he with her.
That sobered her immediately and thus created the second combatant in the war.
"Maybe we should put a pin in it," she said instead. There was a note of frustration in her voice as she spoke. The other part of her was not happy at this choice. Biting her lip, she continued, "This-This could end up going a lot further and…" She swallowed. "Your parents are downstairs."
Takato sat up and placed a gentle hand against her cheek. His eyes were searching hers and she found herself looking away evasively. She felt like a coward for doing so and forced herself to return his gaze.
"I won't go any further than this, if that's what you want," he said. "I promise." His voice was surprisingly firm sounding to her and his gaze very much the same. There was no question in Rika's mind that Takato meant what he said. "It doesn't have to be this; I just wish I could do something for you. There isn't anything?"
His thumb stroked her cheek and Rika began to tremble. Desires long repressed warred within her. He wouldn't go any further than she wanted, and the fears she felt a week ago were as dust against his promise. She knew that to the core – felt foolish for having doubted him to begin with – but what she wanted…
The memory of his sperm in her hand and all its potential hung heavily in her mind and with it the decaying digi-egg still caught between the worlds, waiting on them. Waiting for them to…what? Make it a partner-to-be? All the maybes and what-ifs they hung on up against the burning desire she felt for him.
"I want to be up to this!" she remembered herself saying. "I don't want to say no! I don't want things to be weird between us when I want to…to… Takato… There are so many things I want to do with you. Do you know how hard it is wanting those things and always holding myself back? I promised Renamon that I'd always be the best version of me, so why am I not being that?"
She squeezed her eyes shut against the mental images of their lovemaking. They were so very, very tempting to follow through on. But the strength of that desire and the ease from which consequences could arise from it left a seed of fear in her that she couldn't deny. She wasn't afraid of Takato, but the unknown their love would bear if she allowed things to continue as she wanted it so very much to.
Forcing on a smile, she looked at him. Seeing the earnest expression on his face, her smile slipped, leaving her fear unmasked for him to see. Yet, she couldn't deny it. This, after all, wasn't a battle that could be fought just by plowing ahead.
"Let's put a pin in that too," she said quietly. Takato pressed his lips together and nodded, but there was clear conflict in his eyes. She knew it well, having read it in his heart often in the past. A desire to both please her and to help her, but this time tempered with the experience of the harm that could be done if he didn't know how to do these things.
For a gogglehead, he sure can think carefully when he has to, she thought as he kissed her lovingly on the lips. She returned it, relaxing a little. He wasn't giving up on their relationship because of their road bumps. He was thinking of a way to be better for her; to help her along when she stumbled, just as she did with him.
"You want to watch a movie?" he asked softly while stroking her hair. "I think I've got one that's kind of like going to the digital world." He chuckled. "There's no mushy stuff in it. All adventure."
Rika pretended to mull it over for a minute. With Renamon off visiting Henry she had no interest in going home yet and Takato's offer had already sold her.
"Sure," she replied finally before suddenly giggling. "Just make sure you put your pants on first."
###
A/N: This chapter followed up a week after the oneshot of 'Voice,' much to my surprise. This chapter contained ideas that had been in the back of my mind for months and apparently desired to come out for a breath of real-world air.
This chapter – this story – is not meant to take any particular sides in the ongoing pro-life/pro-choice debate. Japan's view on the matter is its own, and lies apart from the West's debate on it. My assessment of Rika's side of things is based primarily on her own experiences, the first being her initial treatment of Renamon at the start of the series, and later by her transformative experience by merging with her partner to become Sakuyamon. This last, by her own admission, had the largest and most powerful impact on her and it's easy to see why she wouldn't be satisfied with saying, "It's just data" given that was her original prejudice toward digimon at the start of the series. She would be worried, I feel, that she would be prejudicing herself again as a way of not confronting the problem. Historically, Rika has had that difficulty in the past and she knows what it could cost her after almost losing Renamon to Harpymon. But that's not to say that the digi-egg she and Takato made is quite the same thing. Even if its potential to become a digimon still remains, it hasn't yet reached that stage yet, and it might never reach it at all. It's a completely new experience for her and one that needs careful thinking on for all parties involved.
Tentatively considering a next chapter. We'll see what happens. Until then.
-Crazyeight
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