CHAPTER 26
CHRISTMAS IN BELGRADE
Dianna woke up feeling a bit feverish, then she noticed she had her arms around something hot, then when she finally opened her eyes, she saw a naked chest breathing under her face, and some hot abs under her right arm. Her right leg rested over some naked thighs, and she felt someone caressing her head, so she finally looked up and, after blinking a few times, she saw Jason's face looking at her, smirking.
He exhaled, with a sexy husky voice, that made her shiver. "Good morning".
She swallowed, remembering perfectly the night they just had. "Hi. Good morning".
She put her hand on her eyes, trying to clean any blur of the eyeliner she knew she had, then turned on her side to face Jason, any way she could, because the bed was narrow, and he occupied 80% of it.
"Great birthday party" Jason teased, opening a wide smile.
Dianna laughed at him. "Yes. Sorry about the chatter. And the self pity phase". She remembered pretty much everything they talked, and how he tried to help with the ridiculous fears of a very drunk woman.
"No problem. You have to wait until you see my drunk moments of self loathing", Jason chuckled, and grazed a finger on her chin.
She nodded, smiling. "What time is it?" she started to feel a headache coming soon, fortunately she rarely had hangovers after drinking that much, but she felt she'd have one in a few minutes.
"I don't know. I'm up for a while, but my phone is in the back pocket of my jeans" he casually said, pointing with his chin.
She turned, and looked at his jeans, on the floor. Close to her burgundy dress "Why didn't you take it?"
Jason softly answered, like it was obvious, opening a cute smile. "I didn't want to wake you up".
Dianna blinked after hearing that, then she proceeded to advance at Jason's cute face, kissing his cheeks and neck, while straddling him.
Jason was very unprepared for Dianna's advance, especially because he thought she'd be hungover, and when she straddled him, she pulled his torso closer to her, and Jason lowered his head to kiss and lick her breasts, then her neck, and soon Dianna was ravaging him with kisses and caresses on his chest and hair. She started to graze her wet core against Jason's member, and rubbed her whole body against him, in that movement that he loved. He immediately shivered, and so did she, and this time he could feel her breasts grazing on his chest too.
He quickly got hard, and she desperately lowered herself on his erection and started to move, graze, rub and lick Jason, while disheveling his hair, and he felt like he was going to explode with the mix of sensations at the same time.
"Touch me, Jason" Dianna whispered and bit his earlobe, because she felt him almost coming, and she was close too, but she wanted him to make her come. "I need to feel your fingers on me", she pleaded, with a shaky voice, licking his neck.
"Oh-oh, okey" Jason was stuttering after her request, trying to keep up with her, and pressed his fingers, hard, on her clit, moving them, and in a matter of seconds she came, gasping with her lips on his cheek, contracting hard around his erection, and he moaned in her hair, emptying himself inside of her for what felt like forever.
After Dianna was breathing normally again, and now very satisfied, she smiled, got up and grabbed his phone from his jeans, and her phone in her purse, and sat next to Jason on the bed.
"Thank you", she said to a confused and breathless Jason, when she handed him his phone.
"Hey" Jason greeted Dianna, grinning, as soon as he saw her waiting for the team near the entrance of one of the floors of the building, where they held the interrogations. She smiled at him, timid, and he suddenly remembered that he was holding a very big HVT, which he carelessly shoved to the side, almost dropping the CIA intern that was receiving the prisoner. He obviously didn't need to use that much strength, but he wanted to show off. Dianna noticed it, and she softly chuckled.
"Hi, Jason. I was just watching the op from the drone images" Dianna seductively said, and Jason came closer to her, taking off his helmet and hovering over her, invading her personal space.
"Is that so" he stopped smiling, because he was very aroused by her outfit, and he knew she was very aroused by what she just watched, he was sure of it.
"Good tackle. Two, almost at the same time" she looked at his eyes, lips, chest and them arms. In that order.
"Three. If you count the guy I knocked when I threw the second one" he reminded her, stern.
"Hum, yes, true", she murmured.
"Nice outfit" he stated.
"Oh, do you like it?" she smirked. "One of the main HVTs is a shitty person, but his girlfriend from a catholic school died when he was young, and he's fixated on girls wearing these uniforms ever since. CIA just found out a lot of pics like this on his computer. So I quickly adapted some things we found at the stores nearby, with my clothes" she gave Jason a 360º turn, so he could properly check her out. She knew exactly what she was doing.
"It's, hum, really, really nice" he nodded, approving. She was wearing tall boots, a pleated gray skirt, white shirt and gray wool vest. And a thin black tie with the shirt. If someone saw her on the street, they'd think she was just a really stylish woman from Paris or London, but no doubt the HVT would go crazy after seeing her, even though her skirt wasn't short and she wasn't showing any cleavage.
"Thanks" she opened a smile. She kept quiet for a while. "I haven't seen you, lately. Me, Davis and the spooks were getting bored without you guys around here" she sincerely said, because the team guys were spending the last three days in another town, doing surveillance and minor ops, until they could finally gather intel and go on this op, catching two HVTs. The last time that Dianna saw Jason was when he had to quickly get off her bed the day after her birthday, because it was almost noon and Blackburn was buzzing their phones for them to get briefed.
"Well" he smiled back at her, "we're back now".
"Just in time for Christmas" she said.
"Yeah" he knew they were lingering in the entrance of the room, and he felt people passing by them, but he didn't care much.
"Hey, Dianna. We're ready" Nick's called her, from the door of one of the interrogation rooms, and they both glanced at him, then back at each other.
"Gotta go. See you later?" she said, distancing from him and walking backwards.
"U-hum. See ya".
Jason was walking back to the gear room, from where he had barely left a couple of hours before, and gathered all his equipment again. His body was tired from wearing the heavy vest, gear, and helmet, but Dianna and the spooks found urgent intel of the guy who made the bombs, and Jessica and Nick were making their way back from the building, and they just confirmed that one of the men renting the space is very likely the HVT, because he wears a leg prosthesis. Jason and the guys decided to get into the HVT's floor in two groups, one coming from the roof by helo, and one coming from the ground up, and they'd meet at his floor. It would be a very similar op of the one where Dianna first accompanied Bravo Team. She remembered it too, and she looked at him, attentively, while Jason talked to the guys in the room, deciding the tactics. He smiled, thinking that only a few months have passed since then, but felt like an entire year, at least.
"Hey" Dianna called Jason from the door of the gear room, and he got his helmet and was putting it on. She was still wearing the pleated skirt and white shirt. They were both alone in the room now, and Jason was the last to leave, so she suddenly came closer to him and tightened up his vest.
"Did you get the chance to talk to Emma and Mikey?" she asked, because it was Christmas Eve.
"I called, but I think they're probably on the road to Alan's parents. It's still morning there. I'll call them again when I get back" he said, and he wished he could have talked to them.
"U-hum" she said. "Please, be careful, ok? I hate when you guys have to capture bomb manufacturers".
He nodded, and admitted. "I'm not a fan either".
"Yeah. Just stay safe" she said, not moving.
"I will" he nodded.
Dianna glanced to the side, checking to see if there was someone near them, then she pulled Jason close, holding his vest and t-shirt, and kissing him, slowly. He held her close and breathed in.
She distanced from him, and he was stern, and caressed her cheek with his hand. He was already wearing the protective gloves.
"Ok. I have to go", he said, swallowing, and looking at her face.
And he left her, taking his weapon with him, and turning his head to glance at her one last time.
Dianna's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions while she waited, anxious, for the team guys to come back from the op. She felt her heart skip several beats when she saw the explosion from the drone, and everyone at the Command Center was nauseated with expectancy for a few seconds, but right after that Clay talked at the comms, telling them that they were all ok. But since it was Clay who talked at the comms, she had a feeling that Jason wasn't all that well, either physically, psychologically, or both.
Davis approached Dianna, and stood beside her. She was nervous, too.
"Look, Jason talked at the comms a few minutes after you left the room. He says he's ok. Just dizzy".
Dianna looked at her. "If he was ok you wouldn't be here waiting for him too, to make sure".
The team guys suddenly got into the room, led by Ray, who looked at the girls with a stern expression. The guys silently got in, because the HVT was dead, so the mission wasn't completely successful, and mainly because of how close the bomb manufacturer came to bringing Jason with him when he activated his suicidal vest. Jason was the last one to get into the room, looking down, and he just glanced at Dianna and Davis, and nodded. The girls looked at each other, and Dianna knew that Jason wouldn't talk now, he was still processing things, but she'd soon look for him.
"Hey" Dianna came behind Jason, sitting next to him on a chair on the sidewalk. He was sipping a tall glass of beer, and didn't need to turn, he knew she'd come soon.
"How come you always find me, huh?" he teased, but he was pensive.
"I deducted" Dianna simply answered, and asked for a Cuba Libre for the waitress, since it was late afternoon already.
She kept quiet, and he glanced at her. "Aren't you going to ask me if I want to talk about it? Like everyone else does".
She raised her shoulders. "If you want to talk about it, you will. And you know I'd gladly listen to you. But I can imagine how you feel. Everyone does. But nobody's sure, of course".
"There's not much to say, Dianna. I just feel it's best not to think much about it. You know, that's how I always functioned, so far. Ignore and override". Jason explained, looking at his beer, and the waitress brought Dianna's drink.
She clanked her glass with Jason's, and looked down. "Your mind never stops, Jason. Just like mine. If it did, you wouldn't be Bravo One".
He glanced at her. "Well, like I said, it's been working well for me so far".
"Maybe. Until it won't. And you and I both know what will happen" she took a sip of her drink, and turned to him.
"Well, I'll deal with it when I cross that bridge, ok" he stubbornly dismissed her concerns.
"There are different things that work for everyone", she ignored his stubbornness. "Maybe this 'ignore and override' thing has worked well for you. Until now, or who knows when. What helped me, and I found out that helps many people, was when I started to think of myself as a third person".
He looked at her, thinking that sounded complicated as fuck. "What do you mean?"
"It's hard to explain. Let me see" she thought for a while. "Ok. Ask me anything you want about me, about my professional life, until now. Something that you think that was a big deal to me".
He swallowed. "You mean, like a trauma, like that?"
"Yeah. Whatever. Anything" she raised her shoulders, and he turned to her, shocked that she'd be this open to him. He thought for a while about that time that she mentioned she had panic attacks before, when they were still in Bogota.
"Well…" he started, awkward, and she nodded, encouraging Jason. "Tell me about the first panic attack you had, when you were younger. If it was related to your job, and what happened".
She nodded, then she came closer to him, and he turned completely to her. She licked her lips, to focus.
"Anna was 20 years old, and she was working as an intern at the police station on the bigger town next to her small town" she started, and Jason looked confused, but waited. "Her town and the towns around that area were usually peaceful, but suddenly they suffered from a boom of criminal activity, mostly from criminals coming from other bigger cities, with a lot of break-ins and robberies in family houses, especially the middle-class and upper-class ones", she paused, to remember, and he listened attentively.
"She was dealing with two specific cases of sexual assault. In one, the guy got into the family house in the middle of the day, armed with a knife, to rob, but the 18 year-old nanny was there. Watching for an 8 year-old girl and a 3 year-old boy. The robber raped the nanny".
She paused, and exhaled. Jason saw how it was hard for her. But she didn't finish. "The other case was similar, when it was like 5PM and a guy got into a family house, jumping a tall exterior wall, and got the woman when she was at her laundry next to the garden. He robbed the house and was tying up the woman to rape her, but he heard her husband coming from work and left with the family's jewelry. She obviously was very traumatized. In both cases, the houses had tall walls and were hard to get in, and happened in otherwise safe neighborhoods".
She paused, then looked into Jason's eyes. "Anna stayed up almost every night, until at least 4AM, just standing up and looking outside her window, through the venetian blinds, because she was sure that a guy would jump that wall and get into her house too. Anna started to have trouble focusing at work, as a result of the insomnia and stress. And panic attacks occurred during some of the nights. That was going on for about two weeks".
Jason looked at her, stern, starting to get her point.
"What do you, as her colleague at work, would advise Anna to do? To wait for it to pass. To try to handle it herself, diversifying her hobbies and taking pills for the insomnia. Or to seek professional help, and follow the treatment recommended from a specialist. Someone who studied to treat cases just like these. And remember, she had trouble focusing on her job, so her productivity was a lot worse and she could commit an error".
"I imagine Anna sought professional help" Jason stated, a bit more convinced about Dianna's explanation, and also very aware of why she kept mentioning that Anna's problems were affecting her job.
Dianna smiled, and then surprised him. "No, Anna didn't, Jason. Anna was a stubborn 20 year old that was helping to investigate the worst crimes the town had to handle. She was a superstar at the police station. She was invincible."
Jason chuckled. "Oh, so then Anna ignored and overrode, huh".
"Almost that. Anna started to do boxing and archery, and took pills for her insomnia. And Anna kept having panic attacks every other month for a year. Because she treated the symptom, and not the cause. Then when she got another terrible criminal case, she had to handle more serious consequences to her health, and understood that even though her mind seemed to work in a different way than the others, her brain and her body were still susceptible to the same issues as anyone else".
Jason looked away. He sipped his beer, which was warm by now, so he put his glass on the table.
"Don't you just want to yell at stubborn and cocky Anna now? How ridiculous of her to act like that, and risk everything?" Dianna raised an eyebrow, and Jason nodded, then looked down.
"I keep thinking that my time is coming" he admitted to Dianna, without looking at her. She sipped her drink, and didn't say anything. She was there just to listen now.
"I have, like, forty names on a list of 'fallen brothers'. Guys from DEVGRU teams that have died. Most of them younger than me. And soon after Alana passed, little by little I think more about them. When I'm finally good with my life, happy, is like a sign that my life is about to come to an end, like it's too good to be true. And now, being the only parent left for Emma and Mikey, things escalated. I haven't been sleeping properly for days, sometimes. Or not sleeping at all".
Dianna was concerned. Then she asked, "What happened today? Because Clay pulled you away, so he saw that the explosion was coming".
Jason pouted. "Cerb warned about the explosives. He sat down, and I didn't see it and opened the door to the closet before checking Cerb's reaction. Clay was next to me, facing him, so he could react and pull me away."
"Does that happen a lot? During those ops, of a guy in a suicide vest to take with him a DEVGRU Seal?"
He sighed. "It's rare, but it happens. One of the guys from the list died like that".
"He'll be on your mind, then" she stated. Jason didn't say anything, and they both kept quiet for almost a whole minute.
"And what do you think, since you're an experienced leader of a DEVGRU team, that Johnny should do?" Dianna finally asked.
Jason chuckled. "Johnny is a terrible name. It's a short guys' name".
"But Johnny is short, Jason" Dianna stated. "He is short and very muscular, with black hair and square jaw. What should Johnny do, then?"
Jason looked, suspicious. "Johnny is not ready to decide on anything or any treatment".
"No, he's not. Because he doesn't need to" Dianna sighed, then smirked. "Johnny should let a specialist think for him and look for possible solutions to his problem, I think. Johnny is too busy, and probably won't have time for stupid hobbies too. And obviously, the 'ignore and override' doesn't work for this case, at least, because he's doing the ignoring, but he's not good at the overriding, is he? Or maybe, if his mind keeps thinking about it all the time, it's the ignoring part that isn't working?"
Jason chuckled, "Ok, I get the point. Now tell me, what do you think I, oops, I mean, Johnny, should do?"
Dianna looked at him, amused. "I'm not a specialist, Jason. You know what's best for a DEVGRU team and for the operators. Because anything that happens to one operator has a direct impact on the whole team. So, you could comment about Johnny's choices better than me".
Jason pouted, then looked at her, smirking. "Perhaps".
Dianna chuckled, because his stubbornness was off the charts. But she tried, reminding him of the options he had, and couldn't force him to do anything, even though she'd love to, sometimes. "Now let's go, Jason here needs to talk to his kids. It's Christmas Eve, after all. And Jason is very much alive. There's a little gathering to attend later on, prepared by Davis and Blackburn. I saw food and bottles of beer and whiskey being delivered".
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