CHAPTER 71

JOHNNY'S DILEMMA

The CIA decided to bring Jessica for questioning back in the States, to extract as much information as possible from her. Dianna gave the agents the list of questions she suggested, but decided to stay in Camp Larkin, which meant that she, Davis and the CIA agents, including other interrogators that came from the military bases close by, were almost in lockdown during the next few days, watching the hours of interrogations, reading the transcripts, and collecting names and data about the terrorist cell, Tahara, that they now knew that was led by Azfaar Al-Hazred, which was Asim Al Hazred's son.

In the meantime, Jason and Bravo Team, along with Alpha Team that arrived to aid, were out during ops and capturing more terrorists or bringing in informants, while Dianna, the Navy Officers and the CIA agents and analysts were also working exhausting hours to understand how the Tahara network operated. Those were long days, where all of the soldiers and agents barely ate and slept; Jason was out all the time, and Dianna was locked in all the time. But since they shared a cabin, Jason and Dianna still got to see each other when Jason arrived to sleep, usually in the morning, which was when Dianna was waking up to eat breakfast and go to work, so they got to share a meal together too. Or when Dianna was about to go to bed and she got time to wish good luck to Jason when he was gearing up for another op.

Nick recovered from the surgery but still needed medical care, so he was also transferred to the U.S., and another agent came to J-Bad in his place, Reiss, who got along with the girls, especially because he suggested that Dianna should be the main interrogator of the terrorists.

During one of the ops led by Jason, Dianna happened to be inside the Command Center, and she was watching when Bravo Team got inside a network of tunnels, following a guy that was supposed to be delivering exclusive medication to Azfaar Al-Hazred, which was the terrorist that shot Dianna. The Command Center was almost exploding with tension because the guys had no communication with Havoc. But Blackburn calmed everybody down, remembering that he and Jason agreed on a 60 minutes time frame.

When 50 minutes passed, Clay suddenly called Havoc on the comm, telling that they were all good, and pointing the drone to where it could follow the vehicles that were heading to Al-Hazred Junior's hideout, probably. And he was right.

That night there was a celebration for the excellent result of the op, and on the next days another special team would be deployed to Camp Larkin to aid Bravo and Alpha in planning the op that would finally capture or kill Al-Hazred Junior, and everybody was thirsty for blood. Especially Dianna and Jason.

Since they got the information about where the Tahara network headquarterswas, Dianna, Davis and the agents also had some time off to celebrate with the teams and soldiers by the firepit that night.

"Hi" Dianna walked inside their cabin, and Jason was getting changed after taking a shower. She gave him an affectionate kiss, and Jason held her close and prolonged the kiss, still shirtless.

"Hi" he lazily smiled at her. He was exhausted, but was in the mood to celebrate, for sure.

"That was scary" Dianna said, swallowing, and grazing her fingers on his forehead and cheek. The team was attacked by a missile inside the tunnel. "The tunnel almost collapsed over you guys" she reminded him, and Jason swallowed.

"It wasn't reallyoverus" Jason tried to downsize it, nervously chuckling. "It just blocked our exit on one side" he raised his eyebrows, but Dianna barely smirked.

"Is every deployment this tiresome? Seriously" Dianna walked to the bed to change clothes. She already showered earlier, but she was feeling cold and decided to change her pants and sweater.

"No. I guess this was the most eventful one. Ever. followed close by the one a couple of years ago, when we replaced Echo Team after they were blown up. And avenged them" Jason playfully said, but also vindictively smiling at Dianna, while unfolding his sweater.

But Dianna blinked, staring shocked at Jason.

"What do you mean, a team was blown up? Like all of the guys?" she stood up from the bed, barefoot and without pants.

Jason immediately regretted telling her that.

"Well... yes. Echo's team leader discovered some things; and some terrorists, with the aid of an American, killed the team during one of their regular ops. It was an ambush" he slowly explained, and Dianna's eyes were filled with tears. "It was an exception. It never happened before" Jason came closer to her, and held her shoulders.

"The dog too?" she suddenly asked, almost whispering, and Jason swallowed and hesitated, but nodded.

"Oh my God, Jason. I didn't know that" she instinctively hugged Jason, firmly pressing her fingers on his back and with her cheek on his chest.

"Like I said" Jason murmured, looking down at Dianna's head, and caressing her hair. "You don't need to worry. Those guys are either dead or in prison now. It will never happen again" he assured her, very aware that he couldn't promise anything.

"It could have been you. You'd definitely be a guy who would meddle into these things" Dianna looked up at him, and a tear rolled down her face. She was immensely sad about the Seals and dog that were killed, and also terrified that something like that could happen to Jason. "And when you guys were searching for the culprits, you could also be killed" she thought out loud, and Jason didn't say anything, he just stared seriously at her.

"But we didn't. We're all good and now we're about to bring down a huge terrorist network that killed American soldiers and almost killed you. Tonight we're celebrating, Dianna" Jason stated, holding her face with his hands.

She blinked and slightly nodded.

"Junior is smart, Jason. So smart. I mean, he knew that leaving in the helicopter was too risky and that you could hit it with a missile, so he continued inside for hours, probably pretending to help us check the walls. Can you imagine how calm and cold-blooded you'd have to be to do that?" Dianna alerted Jason, finally disentangling from him, and he wore his sweater and grabbed his puffy jacket, now free of the bugs and gps tracker.

"I know. But we found his lair" Jason said, vindictive, and sat on the bed to wear his boots.

"You have to promise me that when you plan the op you'll continue until there are no risks for you and the teams" Dianna stood in front of him.

Jason sighed.

"Dianna" he stopped putting on his boot, then looked up at her, "you know we can't assure zero risks. But of course we'll be extremely careful, I'd never put my team at any risk, ok?"

"I know. Just, please, plan the op with time and patience. And don't go on revenge mode once you're there" she knelt in front of Jason, leaning her hands on his thighs, with pleading eyes.

"I won't" Jason started to answer, irritated, but he knew she was just scared, so he sighed. "I won't go on revenge mode. I'll advance like I always do, Dianna. Don't worry" he explained, now in a calmer tone.

Dianna nodded but still felt that Jason wasn't taking her concern seriously.

"I just couldn't stand the guilt if you got yourself in danger because you wanted to kill Junior yourself" she explained, standing up and holding his face with her hands. Jason looked up with his mouth open and holding the boot with his hand, and Dianna thought he looked cuter than ever. And she missed him, a lot. She was still not wearing pants and straddled him on the edge of the bed, while Jason watched with wide eyes.

"I won't do that" he assured her, even though he was very aware that he'd try to kill Junior himself, yes, for what he did to Dianna and to the other soldiers in Camp Larkin.

Dianna didn't believe it much and slowly kissed him, and Jason released his boot, that fell on the floor, then wrapped his arms around her waist. He also missed her, a lot, and he was surviving on adrenaline mode lately, but he also had a lot of repressed energy inside, ready to burst. So when Dianna grabbed the hem of his sweater, Jason took off her sweater too. Their kiss now was very passionate, and Dianna clumsily tried to open his belt and pants, but Jason had to take charge and open those himself. Once open, she pulled them down and he quickly lifted his hips from the bed to help her, then entangled his fingers on her panties.

"Jason, please" Dianna barely stopped kissing him and took off her bra, but she didn't want to distance herself from Jason, and she was missing him showing her his strength.

So Jason smiled on her lips and quickly ripped the panties out, and almost immediately Dianna sat on Jason's erection. They finally stopped their kiss, because Jason knew he'd love this and end up moaning a lot.

And he did, huskily moaning while Dianna moved in waves on his lap, just the way he loved. She messed his hair with her fingers, and he squeezed her butt and her thigh, not restraining any sounds that came out of his mouth. And neither did she. But Dianna was the talkative one now.

"I can't lose you" Dianna said on his lips, then anxiously bit his earlobe, loving the husky moans that Jason was making while she moved. "I just can't" she looked into his eyes again, and Jason was looking serious at her, with wide eyes.

"I can't lose you too. But I have to do my job, Dianna" he reminded her, anxious. He never saw her so scared and distressed. "There's no choice in duty".

"I know" she nodded, distressed, then licked her lips. "You're just so good" she explained, not making much sense, then kissed his cheek and held him close, still moving.

Jason heard her high-pitched moans and felt her body rubbing against him, and he could barely focus.

"You're such a good guy. And good people go first" Dianna finally explained in his ear, and Jason swallowed, hard. "I can't lose you" she repeated, disheveling his hair completely and moving a lot faster.

Jason closed his eyes to focus, remembering how many good people aren't with them anymore. She was right. And Dianna was one of the best people he knew, so he suddenly felt more scared for her.

"I'm not good. I killed people, Dianna" he reminded her, firmly holding her, and kissed her neck. Dianna shook her head, but he ignored her. "Youare amazing. And you need to promise you'll never do anything like you did when you saw Junior. And William" he turned his face, serious, to look at her. He remembered when she tried to make Dead Guy surrender in his backyard, alone, and she almost got killed too.

Dianna blinked, staring at him. Jason noticed her hesitancy and stood up, carrying her around the bed holding her thighs, then he laid down with her in the middle of the bed. He thrust into her fast, anxious.

"Promise me, Dianna. This you can promise. It's not your job" he dangerously said, looking into her eyes.

"I know. I promise" she finally answered, loving his protectiveness. He nodded, exhaling relieved.

"You went through this three times, you said. But so did I. And I can't watch you being in danger again" he said with a shaky voice, caressing her small scar on her shoulder, and leaning his forehead on hers. Minutes ago he was exhausted, but not anymore. Now he just wanted to be with Dianna, and thrust much faster into her.

She was moaning, in agony, and Jason was moaning too, they were both close.

"I love you, Jason" Dianna said, anxious and serious.

"I love you, Dianna" Jason answered, anxious too, and he kissed her deeply, moving fast to his limit.

They both reached their orgasms together, and Jason couldn't keep his mouth on hers, so they cried out together too.

Then he crumbled on top of her body, almost smothering her and too tired to roll to the side. He was still with his pants and boxer briefs down to his knees.

But Dianna was loving his big body covering hers almost completely, and still could breathe, so she slowly messed his hair while Jason softly kissed her neck.

A pause in the madness that was happening. And they both knew that there was more to come.

"Thanks for letting me take the lead on this one, man. But I still don't fully understand why you did it" Ray told Jason, touching his bottle of beer on Jason's arm.

"Just thought you could make some decisions, too" Jason casually said, sipping his beer and looking at the firepit.

"But did you trust Sonny too? About his decision regarding that bomb that he disarmed" Ray raised an eyebrow, still confused.

Jason looked up at Ray.

"The team is my responsibility, Ray. I'm One. If I thought you'd make a bad call, I would intervene, of course. But you did everything right, man" he slightly smiled at Ray. "Just celebrate. Life is full of tough choices, and it wouldn't be any different when it comes to the team, right?"

"Right" Ray said, suspicious, then sipped his beer. He glanced at Dianna, who was talking to Davis and Agent Reiss on the other side of the patio. She was looking more melancholic lately. "Is everything alright between you and the misses?"

"Yeah, they're great. Why?" Jason asked, almost offended. Having your loved one with you during deployment was an exception, a privilege that only a few soldiers and CIA agents were lucky enough to have. But Jason was also realizing that maybe it wasn't easy for Dianna to watch him going on ops all the time, and Jason still had nightmares after seeing her so close to the action. And death.

"Just asking. Dianna seems a little anxious these past few days. It may be hard for her. And you" Ray wisely pointed out, figuring out exactly what Jason was thinking.

"It is" Jason admitted, glancing at Dianna and then looking at Ray. "She's just scared, like any spouse would be. Can you imagine what Naima would feel if she was here with us? Maybe working in that medical facility over there, caring for the injured soldiers" Jason pointed his beer at the cabin he mentioned, a little playful.

"She would be terrified, man" Ray bluntly said, serious, and Jason's playful smile vanished. "I tell Naima a lot of what happens during ops and deployment, without the TS, of course. But a deployment like this?" he shrugged, looking around them. Alpha Team was talking to the Bravo guys, and there were double the amount of CIA personnel than usual. And there were more soldiers and agents coming. One of the walls of the camp was still damaged, and there were twice the amount of soldiers at the watchtowers.

"This is hell on Earth, man" Ray exhaled. "If Naima was here I would be so worried about her, of another attack happening, that I'd be spinning out. And we're out on ops every night" he reminded Jason.

"But what do you want me to do, huh?" Jason almost whispered to him, with a dangerous voice. "I told her, a few times, that the Navy and the Agency would let her go back home. She doesn't want to" he explained, agitated.

"I know. I imagine. And now that she knows what happened here, maybe she'd suffer even more at home" Ray whispered back, coming closer. "I'm not saying that there's a solution for this. I'm just saying that if you need to vent, or feel like you're spinning out of control, I'm here, man" he affectionately said.

Jason nodded, slightly smiling at him.

"Thanks man. I'm good for now".

"Yeah. You're an entirely different kind of soldier, huh" Ray teased, but Jason frowned, confused. "I don't know how you do it, man. Now I understand why you're all in all the time. I had the responsibilityof the team on my back for just a few minutes, and I know that if I made the wrong call I'd be buried in my guilt forever. I'm just glad you can do it" Ray softly chuckled, amazed.

Jason licked his lips, pensive. He's all in all the time, focused on the team, which also meant he had to be Bravo One for most of the time. And it also meant he had little to no time for Jason Hayes.

He looked at Dianna, a woman that saved his soul and made him rethink many things in life. Things that he thought that were complex, confusing, problematic. But the truth is, most of the problems existed only in his head. His soul wasn't lost, as he feared; his previous marriage wasn't a complete disaster as he imagined; his guilt serves no purpose; and if he was looking at himself now, what would he think?

"You know, Ray" Jason suddenly talked to Ray, who was about to walk away, because he thought Jason was lost in his thoughts again. Ray turned back, to listen. "When I was almost blown up by that suicide vest in Serbia, do you remember?" he asked and Ray nodded, of course he remembered. Jason almost got killed, but Clay saw Cerberus sitting and he managed to push Jason away from the bomb just in time.

"Well, after that everybody was asking me how I was doing, feeling, all that crap" Jason gestured, with his beer in his hand. Ray nodded, a little amused.

"And you ignored and overrode. As usual" Ray stated, blunt, but Jason wasn't annoyed. He knew Ray was right.

"I did. But the thing is, Dianna talked to me about some things right after that. In her own... unique way" Jason smiled, raising his eyebrows, and Ray softly chuckled.

"Oh, I imagine. I wish I recorded her speech at the gym that day" Ray raised an eyebrow back at Jason.

"Anyways. She said that when things are tough, and she's in a crossroad, not knowing what path to choose, or how to handle a situation, she said that what worked for her was to think of herself as a third person" Jason explained, and Ray frowned, but amused. They both leaned on one of the walls. "She made me realize, that way, that 'Johnny' was still good at ignoring things, but the 'overriding' part wasn't working anymore. And that he didn't have to decide how to handle that overwhelming feeling, because there are specialists for that. Therapists" Jason explained, smiling, and Ray looked impressed.

"Well, that's a different way to see things. I'm glad you followed her advice, man" Ray chuckled, tapping his arm.

"She also reminded me that, even though my mind works in a different way than the others, my brain and body are still susceptible to the same issues as anyone else" Jason said, now bitter, and glancing at the firepit.

"It is. Sometimes we forget that, man. We're not superheroes. And you're not Captain America" Ray said, serious, looking at Jason.

"My mind never stops, Ray. I'm always thinking about Bravo, worrying about it, even when I'm thinking and worrying about something or someone else" Jason admitted, turning to Ray.

"It must be exhausting" Ray admitted, and Jason stared at him, serious. He didn't need to confirm. "Will Johnny keep living like this?"

Jason shrugged, exhaling.

"That's the dilemma, isn't it?" he murmured, looking at the fire again.

"It is. By the way, Johnny is a terrible name for you" Ray gently teased him.

"Johnny is a short guy with black hair and square jaw. He loves his job, but he now has the opportunity to have a second chance in his personal life. Do some things different" Jason explained, stern, not looking at Ray.

Ray nodded, amazed by Jason's personal growth.

"I'd remind Johnny that not many of us have second chances in life. Ever" Ray tapped Jason's arm, affectionate, and left him alone to think and ponder.

Jason looked at the other side of the patio where Dianna was now sitting on one of the chairs, withwhat was probably a cuba libre in her hands.

Dianna noticed his stare. Their eyes met, and they both smirked at each other.

But their smiles were also kind of sad.

.