The days following the accident were very confusing. It's been two weeks since the accident. I'd walked away with only a couple minor injuries, while both of my parents died. Dad had gone into cardiac arrest, and Mom died from severe internal bleeding. I'd only had bruised ribs from the seatbelt and a minor concussion and consistent nightmares. They held off on Caiden's funeral, so they could have it with my parents. I was staying with my grandparents, my mother's parents, and I didn't really know them. And they certainly didn't want to know me either, they was it known my presence was temporary and soon to be forever forgotten.

On the day the will was read, my grandparents made one call to Forks.

My uncle, Charlie Swan, showed up on the day Caiden and my parents were buried and then we loaded up his car with my bags of clothes and that was it. I couldn't keep any of my stuff since the grandparents decided to sell everything. I had managed to hold myself together through all of this. I haven't cried, I seriously thought about just killing myself while I was packing, with everything my grandparents had put me through these past several days. But then I decided that my parents wouldn't want that, and neither would Caiden. It was selfish and stupid. I never said goodbye to any of my friends, because I know they would have been asking me to come back and visit. But I wasn't going too, because I didn't want to.

So here I was with Uncle Charlie in his cruiser driving back to his house in Forks from Port Angeles, his trunk full on of my three duffel bags and schoolbag. I've never met Uncle Charlie out of all my sixteen years of life, my parents never talked about him but the grandparents did, they never had anything nice to say. The trip to Forks I observed my uncle, and he never gave off any of the vibes the grandparents said he had and there was no doubting voices either, I guess I shouldn't be surprised by the lack of judgement of the grandparents. Charlie is the Chief of Forks Police department, the department covered Forks and La Push, and he also bought me a car. I was surprised by that, I didn't even know how to respond to it either, I don't even know how to drive in all truth. I guess the whole school situation was figured out after the will was read and then the funeral planning, my grandparents came with schoolwork when I woke up in the hospital, during my recovery and the last two weeks and two days have been nothing but school.

Yesterday I just had to do a conjoined final to determine my grade in the fall, they were going to send the results down to Forks High on Monday. I was going to be bunking with Bella, his daughter who was graduating, I never met Bella either but Charlie had a lot to say about her.

It was refreshing to hear him talk about his daughter like a proud PTA Mommy, but he didn't like her boyfriend Edward Cullen. He said his name with such disgruntle and it made me internally laugh, he stopped after I smiled at him encouraging him to keep talking, but he went red with embarrassment and switched on the radio. I thought I upset him at first but he was clearly embarrassed, I wondered if he couldn't handle emotions well. I didn't push for any more conversation, I didn't have anything to talk about anyway and I honestly didn't want to socialize. Bella was gone when we arrived at Charlie's white two-bedroom house and it irritated Charlie, he didn't hover when he let me settle into the bedroom with two twin beds.

I shoved my bags under the wooden bed from of my new bed with pale shaded caramel color for sheets and a massive plush blanket the color of melted chocolate. Brown wasn't really my color but it was already growing on me, I didn't want to eat and I was honestly done with the day. I laid in the bed for a while after changing and cocooning my blanket around me, it smelt freshly washed and I still didn't cry as I looked around Bella's bedroom.

I didn't know what to expect here. And I wanted to save those worries for the morning. I was at my limit for mental conversation and I knew the only way to this forming migraine was sleep. I don't know how long I laid there but I laid there for a while, I pulled the blanket over my head and shut off my brain to relax. I just laid there for a while hoping sleep would come soon, I opened my eyes to a shadow I seen through the blanket with the light of the streetlight peeking through the tree in the front yard. I pulled the blanket down with my heart racing, my eyes found nothing in the empty room.

I turned towards the door hearing the floor boards creaking in the hallway, I sat up hearing an older girl's voice, it still had a girlish tone, the door opened and then I was staring at Bella by the similar facial features of Charlie.

"Oh!" She says in surprise before recollection crossed her pretty face, "I'm sorry I forgot you were coming today."

I smiled at her politely, "It's okay." I sat up on the bed and she walked over to her closet.

"How was the trip? Are you hungry?" She asks while walking around her room.

"It was okay. No, I'm okay, thank you."

"You're welcome." She then perked up at the door bell ringing, she was out the door in seconds.

I stayed where I was, I pulled my legs to my chest and pulled the blanket tighter to me, I looked up in surprise over at the door to Bella and a boy standing in the doorway all in love. He looked over at me and my eyes widened at his marble skin, his irises were a soft golden color, he smiled at me politely. This has to be her boyfriend because it would be concerning for her to have puppy dog eyes on anyone other than Edward by Charlie's information.

"Hey, Viviane." Bella says a bit awkward with the shift of her feet on the flooring. "This is my boyfriend, Edward. Edward, this is my cousin, Viviane."

Oh, she's introducing Edward. And I'm sitting here in pajamas, how well-mannered you are Vivian. I got off the bed in haste.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting this." I waved timidly.

"I'm sorry," Bella says, she went to say something else as she pushed hair strands behind her ear.

"It's okay," I hurried, "I promise. You can call me Vivian. Hi, it's nice to meet you, Edward."

"Hi, Vivian. It's nice to meet you too." Edward says with a polite smile.

He's a cutie. Great catch, Bella.

"Edward and I were just about to go get some dinner. Are you sure you're not hungry? You're welcome to come with us."

I didn't want to intrude on them. And if I really had to be honest, I really just wanted to go bed.

"Thank you for the invitation, but I kind of have a date with the bed." I gestured to the bed. "Raincheck?"

Bella looked a little embarrassed, she sighed, "Oh!" She remembered something, "Of course, I'm sorry. I'll see you in the morning."

"It's okay. See you in the morning. Have a great rest of your night." I smiled at her hopefully it would give her some reassurance.

"It was nice meeting you, Vivian. You too."

"It was nice meeting you too." I replied back to Edward.

"Goodnight," Bella says pushing hair behind her and shifting on her feet.

"Goodnight," I waved once, awkwardly and Edward closed the door.

I released a breath once the door was closed, that could've gone worse. I feel so awkward and… I don't know, my stomach twisted slightly with anxiety. I laid down in bed and pulled the blanket back over me.

"It's going to take a bit to adjust." I whispered to myself thinking out loud, and it wasn't a lie.

I laid there for a while chewing on the skin around my nails on both hands until I eventually was falling into a depression. Everything I knew was gone and I wasn't ready to start this new life. I would do anything to be back in Port Angeles with Caiden, mom and Dad, as I fantasized waking up back home. I cried myself to sleep that night.

My dreams weren't so kind to me either.

It was the same as usual. I was walking down that hallway to the open bathroom and the sound of water and the tub running. I was walking at a normal pace but I always seemed to drag in time during these dreams. Searching for him. Searching for the only person that was my best friend in the whole world. Searching for him this hallway to the bathroom seemed to take me two hours to reach but it was also two seconds.

It was the same scene that was etched into the tissues of my brain for the rest of my life. The water was filled with blood and spilling out of the tub and onto the floor and it was at my feet in the doorway as I stared at him. Stared at him as my vision blurred and the voice that left my voice was muted, I could hear the water splashing under my feet as I ran to the tub and tried to close the wounds that went so deep… he was already dead. I didn't want to believe it; I managed to get him out of the tub and I tried to keep the gashes closed but more blood kept oozing out into his body.

I scrambled to turn the water off and unplug the tub. I tried everything I could to get the bleeding to stop, to get him to wake up while I screamed and I cried.

Then it changed. Red and blue lights. Hospital hallways and the bright white lights overhead in the ceiling. The sleepless nights sitting in my room while parents argued downstairs, the morning of the funeral. The toddler running with a purpose into the street in the heavy rain, his mother running after him panicked as Dad turned around to glance at me. The SUV colliding with the side of the car and the weightless feeling of being thrown into the car and the abrupt pull to the Earth. The sound of metal against the pavement and the shattered glass in the open space.

I closed my eyes and then I heard silence, and the rain against the underbelly of the vehicle.

Hanging in mid-air as the blood dripped off the tips of my hair. I closed my eyes. The emptiness in the frigid air with yells of bystanders, help. I wanted to join them. I wanted to join them in the nothing but I was saved. The rain pelting my face as black spots splattered and I closed my eyes again.

The displeased faces of my grandparents when I woke up, it was all because of that one time when I had been caught having sex for the first time with my ex-boyfriend. That was already a year ago and they still didn't think I was good enough, Caiden had been their favorite along with the parents. They never let me breathe in the dining room in the room before they started throwing insults about my plans, my answer was always I don't know but they seemed to know what it was what I wanted to do. It was humiliating and even though I tried to apologize for it they insulted me more about trying to be a good person.

It was enough to make me want to decide so many ways of suicide if I had to live there until I was 18. I was pretty sure the stunt at the joined funeral was supposed to happen by the sudden change of their facial expressions when I caught myself from falling face first into the open hole in the earth. But the boy who bumped into me apologized profusely when we were going back to the cars.

But they didn't care, the nightmare repeated the worst moments of my life while I cried and had no power to change anything. I truly believe that this is how it will be for the rest of my life, no hope just nothing. No love, no friends, no family, just alone. Traumatized and devastated.

I woke up to the grey morning light of Saturday. I didn't leave bed that day, I didn't really leave bed through the next few days. I kept up on showering and ate once every day, if that. I know I was beginning to worry Charlie and Bella; I didn't want to and I never had to the energy to not make them worry. I didn't have the energy for anything and I certainly didn't have hope for anything.