Beverly was just about to head up to bed for the evening when the door chime rang. She glanced at the chronometer and saw that it was 19h30, not too late but she turned in early now. The days when she could pull a 12 hour shift in sickbay, then turn around and put in another 4 to 6 hours on an emergency on-call were long gone.

She stood in her kitchen and contemplated not answering the door. Who could it possibly be? Since Peter had left almost 2 months ago, no one ever visited. She almost turned and headed into her bedroom when a random thought hit her.

Perhaps someone was looking for the couple next door. They'd left just yesterday on holiday. Beverly had waved them off when she'd seen them in the street on her way to work. She'd wistfully looked back and watched as they'd strolled hand in hand to the local transport station in the opposite direction to the Academy.

Oh hell…. She paused to open the hall closet on the way by and snagged a cardigan. It was cold outside and if she had to spend even a few minutes chatting with some stranger on her front step then she'd rather stay warm. Lately she'd been finding it difficult to regulate her temperature and once she was cold it took forev-

The chime sounded again and even though it was impossible, she was certain that the damned thing sounded impatient. Difficulty regulating my temperature and my wandering mind, she giggled. You've been alone too long, Beverly. As much as you love Lucy, a cat is not an adequate life partner. Don't let Lucy hear you say that, she thought immediately and had to pause in the hallway until the giggles finally stopped. Just as she regained control the chime once again reverberated over her head.

"Alright, I'm coming," she muttered under her breath. She tapped the release on the panel beside the door and tried to pin a helpful smile on her face, a smile that would probably look as fake as it felt, but what the hell, she wasn't the one bothering people in the middle of the night. Hardly the middle of the night Bever-

"Hello, Beverly…" She wasn't certain if she stumbled back a step in shock, but in the moment, it certainly felt that way. It wasn't a stranger looking for the neighbour couple, it wasn't a delusion brought on by pregnancy hormones or too much time spent with only Lucy for company. She swallowed hard. Jean-Luc was at her door. Perhaps the doorbell had sounded impatient after all, she thought randomly and as crazy as it was, she had to fight hard to stop bursting into another fit of giggles.

As the silence lengthened, they simply stared at one another, neither able to break eye contact until finally, as if recognising that Beverly was incapable of responding, he continued, "I hope you don't mind my dropping by unannounced like this." His voice rose in question and she shook her head as if too dazed to respond otherwise. His eyes travelled down her body and came to rest on the obvious evidence of her pregnancy.

"The yeoman in your department gave me your address. I told him that we are friends. Old friends actually." He moved forward and she instinctively stepped back allowing him to move into the entryway. He looked around himself, noting pieces of décor that had last been displayed in her quarters onboard the Enterprise, orchids that were visible on a shelf through the doorway to what looked like a sitting or living room. "I hope I didn't presume too much. We are still friends, aren't we?"

"Yes… yes of course."

"I'm glad," he said and turned to focus fully on the uncomfortable woman in front of him. "Perhaps we could share some tea. For old time's sake," he suggested innocently but she heard the emphasis he'd placed on that last part and was immediately thrust back to their conversation of two months ago. She paused and there was no mistaking her reluctance. Even so, she nodded and led him through, not to the living room in the front of the house, but rather to the combined kitchen and dining area in the rear.

She indicated that he should take a seat at the barstools while she ordered tea from the replicator on the back wall.

"It seems bizarre."

"What does?" she asked, her back to him.

"You, earthbound."

"Oh, I don't know," she responded evenly. The shock was finally releasing her from its grip and now anxiety and panic were making themselves known and she was calling on a lifetime of training to keep a lid on it all. "I've spent plenty of time planet side, especially when Wes was young," she said thoughtlessly and he saw her tense. "You…. You're just passing through? The Enterprise, is she…?" Beverly turned and set the tea on the raised counter island, surveying him warily. Rather than sitting at the barstools, he remained standing, blocking her way back around the island to the stools on the opposite side.

"Not passing through, no."

"Not… Then…" she began in confusion.

"I've come to see you, Beverly."

"Me…." she said slowly.

"Yes. You see, I got a very interesting call…. From a mutual acquaintance."

Beverly lowered her eyes to a spot on the floor just in front of her distended abdomen. Her entire body tensed, then he saw her shoulders shudder as she released a silent breath.

"I have just one-"

"Jean-Luc…". She had finally found her voice even though her eyes remained glued on a point on the floor between them.

"Just one question, Beverly…." he continued obstinately. "Why?" Her eyelids fluttered closed and he quickly moved to stand mere inches from her as her body swayed visibly. The silence drew out until the tension between them became so intense that the air literally buzzed with it.

"I know that things didn't… end well between us the la-" Her lids snapped open, her eyes blazing.

"I didn't know you had such an affinity for understatement, Jean-Luc. How is Anij, by the way?"

"Bev-"

"No. Forget I asked. Asking would indicate that I actually want to hear or care about your answer. I don't. So…. What did Peter tell you?" she asked flatly, making no effort at pretending she didn't know exactly with whom he'd been in contact. For a long moment it looked like he wouldn't answer, like he wanted to pursue her previous question instead.

"He wanted to know if you'd been in touch with me…." She refused to meet his gaze. "He said he hadn't seen you in almost two months. Since the last time we met actually…. That you were due to give birth within the next several weeks. I…". He drew in a steadying breath. "I must admit that I found that very strange given that you're supposedly," Beverly's sharp and ragged inhale made him pause, "supposedly having his child…. But then again…. According to Mr. McArthur, you are not." Unable to completely control his erratic emotions, he ran an unsteady hand over his pate. "Beverly?"

"Yes?"

"You're not having McArthur's child, are you?" She made to turn away from him and he instinctively put his hands at her waist, on either side of her belly. "Beverly, I'm trying to understand-"

"I don't know what's to understand," she blurted out defensively.

"What the hell does that mean?" he bit out, his temper escaping his usually formidable control. Beverly always had tested his patience, but what she'd done…. Her actions…

"What did I ever do to make you think that- Beverly, you don't get to judge people before the fact!" he snapped angrily, then inhaled sharply trying not to let this situation devolve into recriminations and bitterness.

They'd never ended things noisily. One or the other simply snuffed it out, the death silent and awkward until they'd eventually attempt to pick up the pieces of their battered friendship. Maybe that was the problem, he thought bleakly. Too much civility, neither putting up much of a protest, acquiescing to the other's desire to cool things between them with very little fuss. Well, there was certainly a fuss now…

"Over and over you told me you never wanted a family, to be a father. You were too afraid you'd be like your own." He saw red then and his control slipped completely.

"How dare you?! How dare you use my confiding in you, my fears to justify and rationalize your actions…" he sputtered.

"Jean-Luc, you are a starship Captain. It is your life. You love it. Our attempts at something more have proven that a relationship, a family are incompatible with your commitment to Starfleet, your duty. Don't tell me now that you're willing to walk away."

"Beverly, you made that decision for me!"

"Let me see if I understand. You're now saying that you want that? To be a father? That you want a family? When for years you have been proclaiming the exact opposite," she retorted scathingly.

"Yes. The hypothetical and reality are two totally separate things, Beverly. I shouldn't have to explain that to you!"

"So, you've suddenly developed an urge to experience fatherhood. And you think I'll just roll over and accommodate this…. this whim. Your arrogance is unbelievable, Jean-Luc."

"It is not a whim! I… simply want…"

"You want. What about what I want? What's best for my child?"

"Our child, Beverly. Ours…. Unless you're going to tell me-"

"Of course not," she snapped in irritation. "I haven't been with anyone else but you in almost a decade. Can you say the same?"

"Since after N-" She saw him quickly change gears to avoid yet another possible point of conflict that could take them off topic. "Since KesPrytt, yes. Yes, I can." She raised startled eyes to meet his. "Truly, Beverly," he stated emphatically. "I-" She went to move, break free from his hold. He tightened his grip on her hips pulling her belly into contact with his abdomen. "I've never lied to you, Beverly," he said quietly, earnestly.

"No. I know you haven't, wouldn't," she admitted. She exhaled loudly. "I was going to tell you, Jean-Luc. It wasn't as if I was going to allow you to believe that…. I've already recorded the mess-" His hands tightened almost painfully against her flesh before she felt him loosen his grip.

"A message? You were going to inform me that I am to be a father via subspace message?"

"Jean-Luc, I had no idea where you were. I assumed that after you'd attended headquarters for debriefing two months ago, that you'd returned to Ba-" He quickly cut her off, not wanting to allow his poor decisions of the past six months to poison this important discussion any further.

"I didn't go in the first place!" he burst out.

"What? You most certainly did! I was there when you left." She used her hands that had somehow come to rest on his chest to attempt to push him back but he was immovable.

"I didn't go. I should never have left. It didn't feel right. I knew it was all wrong, but I was too proud to alter my plans to leave the ship, to admit I'd made a mistake."

"You were trying to save face," she muttered under her breath..

"Yes, especially after we detoured to Alcase."

"Peter didn't tell me until afterwards that you'd been to see me that morning. I also didn't know what he'd implied about our relationship. Not until after you'd left San Francisco two months ago," she informed him stiffly.

"Yes, well, I left the Enterprise and spent two months on Arpelus III at an archaeological dig. And when I came back…. when I had finally plucked up the courage to face you…. You were gone." His eyes dropped from hers as he relived the moments in his ready room when Will informed him that Selar had been promoted in his absence, that Beverly was no longer on board.

"What? How?"

"Beverly transferred to Medical not long after your departure… She left with McArthur…" the large man had added reluctantly.

Standing toe to toe with Beverly now, he still remembered the moment of blank emptiness, then the sensation of complete and utter free fall. As if the strings which had been invisibly keeping him tethered had suddenly been cut.

But even with the evidence staring him in the face, he'd refused to believe that Beverly had run off with her lover. That she'd left her post, left him for another man. Since he was still technically on leave, he'd immediately organized a journey to Earth, to see with his own eyes, verify what he couldn't allow himself to believe…. Until he'd surprised them in her office at Medical. Then he'd believed.

He absently ran his hands over her waist, unconsciously shaping the sides of her swollen abdomen in an instictively soothing motion.

"I couldn't have stayed in any case. You know that, Jean-Luc. I'd have been transferred immediately either way." He looked at her sharply, anger and disappointment evident in his grey eyes.

"And that justifies you allowing me to believe that you are having another man's child? Beverly, you should have told me!" Regret and shame settled into her face.

"Maybe so…. But you assumed, and it seemed…. Easier in that moment." His snort of disgust was at odds with the tightening of his grasp on her hips that felt like he was securing her to him. "Jean-Luc, if you'd found happiness elsewhere, who was I to-"

"Who were you? God, this is unbelievable," he practically growled.

"Yes, exactly what I said. Who was I to interfere? We are obviously incapable of making a go of things. Four times! We ended things four-"

"Well there won't be a fifth," he breathed out, his tone a mixture of past regret and future conviction.

"Wait…" she tilted her head back and met his eyes fully for the first time since he'd appeared in the doorway. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I've accepted a promotion. That this time-"

"You're joking…"

"I'm deadly serious. We'll both be stationed on Earth. There's no reason-"

"There is every reason. Are you not listening? You are no longer my commanding officer, Jean-Luc. You don't get to make decisions for me, unilaterally, issue…. decrees about my personal life!" Each word was spat at him with staccato precision. Her face was flushed and her eyes gleamed dangerously. He was so preoccupied with how beautiful she looked at that moment, cheeks flushed and eyes burning with a scorned and wrathful fury, that it took a moment before he realized that she was trembling.

"Beverly, are you-" He broke off abruptly, a sharp jab to his abdomen dragged his eyes down to where their bodies were still pressed snuggly together. As he watched, her uniform tented outward, a tiny hand or foot jabbing rapidly against him twice in succession. "Was that…?"

"He doesn't like it when I'm upset. Agitated," she breathed out slowly.

"He? You already know?"

"Yes." They both fell silent. The baby gave one last kick towards his father, as if in warning, before settling. "What do you want, Jean-Luc?"

"Want?"

"Why are you here?" He pulled his eyes away from her abdomen, visibly shaken.

"You'll…. The baby will be here in less than two months. I thought that-"

"You can't be here if we're going to argue," she interrupted bluntly. At least she hadn't said that she didn't want him here…

"Then we won't argue." She snorted in response.

"You'll be taking a vow of silence then?"

"Perhaps both of us?" he offered softly, attempting to lighten the tension that was still hanging over every word, touch and glance they exchanged.

"I…. I'm not sure that this is what I need. My blood pressure is already elevated, Jean-Luc…. I don't-"

"I'm only asking to be allowed to be there for you Beverly, to help. Surely you wouldn't deny me that. I've missed so much already," he added softly. He saw her jaw clench and knew that she was biting back some scathing remark, probably along the lines of having no one but himself to blame for that. "Is…. Is this about McArthur?" he asked hesitantly.

"For God's sake! No, this has nothing to do with Peter. We are friends, Jean-Luc. Very old, very dear friends."

"We were also very old friends," he muttered.

She narrowed her eyes at him before hissing, "He's gay, Jean-Luc. Peter is gay."

"He's what?"

"You heard me. Unlike your very real recent romantic entanglements, mine are all in your head!"

"I'm sorry," he husked contritely. He could tell by the mounting flush in her cheeks that he'd soon be receiving another jab to the stomach if he didn't reel this back in. "I cannot express how sorry I am. If I had it all to do ag-"

"Jean-Luc," she sighed, the fuse of her anger having abruptly blown out in the face of his apology, "Just stop, please... I can't handle it when you go into martyr mode. You saw and believed what I wanted you to. I was jealous," she admitted reluctantly, "and what began as an exercise in saving face took on a life of its own. I didn't know that I was pregnant until after you'd left for Ba'K-"

"Arpelus III," he interjected quickly.

"Right. Arpellus III. It was all such a mess by that point. I assumed that you were using your leave as planned…. And I knew that I would be transferred almost immediately. I needed some space and control over some aspect of my life," she shrugged her shoulders slightly as if in remembered defeat.

"When you turned up at my office…. I was angry and disillusioned and…. It doesn't excuse my cowardice. I justified it by telling myself that I was doing you a favour, allowing you to move forward with…. It was an excuse. I'm not proud of it. I…. I'm sorry as well." He looked at her hopefully. Both of them remained silent and immobile until Beverly shifted her weight and attempted to stretch her overburdened back. "Jean-Luc…."

"Yes?"

"I need to sit…" The hands at her hips tightened briefly in silent negation before they released her only to immediately grasp one of her hands. With a sigh of relief she dropped onto the settee in the corner of the dining area and felt him slide into place next to her a moment later. Her hand was still held captive in his, his body so close that they were touching from shoulder to knee.

"What did you have in mind?" she asked wearily, too tired to resist what she had no doubt would be a relentless campaign to change her mind. They'd been here too many times before for her not to recognise the stubborn determination on his face. He'd wear her down with his own unique brand of single-minded attention and seduction and if she was being honest, she'd never really stood a chance against a determined Jean-Luc. Mainly because she'd always wanted to give in.

"In mind?"

"You said you wanted to be here. To be involved."

"Yes…. I…. Very much so."

"And how do you envisage that? What does that mean?"

He hesitated and when his answer came it was slow and halting as if he were navigating a verbal minefield. Which he is, she thought with no small amount of regret. "You shouldn't be on your own, Beverly…. So, I thought - with your agreement of course! - that I could stay here, for the duration of the pregnancy and then, after the baby comes-"

"Here…" she said slowly.

"Well, I mean, there is a lot more room at the château-"

"Jean-Luc…"

"It was just an observation, Beverly," he said earnestly, but she could easily read the plans and intentions in his eyes. "As lovely as this is," he spread an encompassing hand at the kitchen and attached dining area, the small settee where they were seated was crammed against one wall and even Beverly could admit that she'd been trying to imagine where all of the necessary baby paraphernalia would go… "there isn't a lot of room to grow, so to speak. Not to mention the lack of outdoor space…" he trailed off, his innocent tone thoroughly unconvincing. In her mind's eye, however, she could easily imagine a sturdy toddler with her eyes and Jean-Luc's sandy brown hair running free through the rows of vines at LaBarre.

"That's a conversation for another day," she stated firmly, refusing to allow him to sweep her off her feet and along with his plans yet again. "For now-"

"But I'm here now," he said softly. You're off duty for the weekend-"

"You checked my schedule! Jean-Luc!" He was unrepentant in the face of her indignation.

"A perfect time for us to talk," he continued hurriedly, sidestepping her resurgent temper. As he was speaking he stood and made his way into the small hallway. She heard the front door lock disengage and stood herself and followed him, slightly in shock that he had simply left. She stumbled to a halt at the sight that greeted her instead.

He stood in her front hallway, toeing off his boots before bending to move them onto the rack against the wall. As he straightened, he snagged the duffle bag she hadn't noticed at his feet.

"Jean-Luc…. What-"

"I came prepared."

"I see that…" she scowled. He had purposely left the bag on her stoop, knowing that to enter with it before he could soften her up would have meant a one way ticket back out the door. "Jean-Luc, where are you planning on sleeping?" she snapped at him.

"You have a guest room," he said, coming down the hall toward her. The way in which he said it, the absolute confidence started her temper boiling again. Just how much of her life had he dug through since Peter's call? Suddenly she was exhausted.

"You're right," she said briskly, almost cheerfully causing him to pause warily. "I'll leave you to it then and I'll see you in the morning. I'm exhausted." With that, she turned abruptly and entered what he assumed was her bedroom. The door closing tightly brought him back to full awareness. She'd given in too suddenly for him to trust that she'd decided to concede this round.