Chapter 101
The Definition of Insanity
(Artemis)
Deep breaths, that was all there was to it. Keep calm; after all you knew this was going to happen. You allowed this to happen remember. You pretty much did the same thing yesterday I reminded myself.
That did not mean I had to like the sight of MY fiancé asleep naked with another equally nude girl intertwined with him. The fact that she looked identical to me was not helping the matter.
Turning my attention away from the duo I looked around the room noting the fact that his clothing was strewn wherever it had been discarded. Whole or not as there was at least two pieces of his shirt on opposite sides of the room. Likewise the duvet cover was also missing from the bed and was resting at its base near my feet.
Slowly reaching down and picking it up, I balled the cover up before tossing it at the two oblivious immortals that reacted in panic at the sudden disturbance. Whom instinctively began grabbing at the fabric in an effort to cover themselves up for modesties sake. The scene would have been hilarious in any other situation involving anyone else, for the way they covered their torso and heads in the sheet and left almost all of their legs sticking out the base.
"Which one of you would care to explain?" I asked more than a little bitterness in my voice as they both slowly peaked their heads out of the top of the duvet cover.
"Artemis? Your back early it is only five AM?" Percy asked nervously visibly gulping.
"Which means it is now daylight on Olympus." I snapped back angrily.
"How did you find us and how did you get in?" Diana asked in annoyance as I felt my ichor boil at her defiance.
"Between you, you have about five places to go in any event and only three of those are isolated or private. His place has the idiots so that was a no go; you are not stupid enough to try it in our palace or temple. This left this place. And you cannot block someone who is already inside, you are me remember." I explained trying to keep calm.
Unfortunately it was at that moment I spotted something shiny that would cause me to lose rationality.
"What in hades is that?" I demanded glaring intensely at my aspect who looked shocked for a second before a smirk crossed her face as she realised what I was looking at on her left hand.
(Diana)
As annoyed as I was to have been woken up and disturbed from a blissful sleep after an even better night. I could not help but savour this moment as Artemis glared at me with jealous loathing.
In all of my existence I was the one that had been jealous of the freedom that she enjoyed to be able to do as she pleased. Now here I was naked in bed with the man we both loved and to cap it all off I had something she did not.
A glittering sapphire encrusted silver ring on my finger.
This was already shaping up to be one of the best days of my life.
"Oh you mean this? Percy gave it to me last night, do you like it?" I replied innocently holding it up so she could get a better look whether she wanted to or not. The best bit by far was the pursing of her lips at the edges and her nostrils flaring as her head slowly turned towards Percy who uttered a barely audible "meep" in terror. The Titan Lord trying to hide slowly behind the duvet cover so only above his nose was visible.
(Percy)
Ok I had realised I may have underestimated something I really should have thought of last night.
Giving Diana the ring then had been spur of the moment and had seemed like a good idea at the time. But I may also have been thinking with the wrong head considering I was giving it to arguably the most beautiful woman in the world… Who was also naked at the time...
However I really should have also considered Artemis into the equation when I did so. Sure I had the second ring from Zeus but the fact I had given one (and the better one in my completely biased opinion) to Diana while Artemis was absent was obviously going to cause her to get jealous.
Something that me and Diana clearly had very different opinions of as she seemed to enjoy teasing her counterpart no end. Me… I knew I was screwed one way or the other by the look the Greek goddess was giving me as she shook slightly with barely concealed rage.
Now I have fought every level of threat from mortal and monster through to Primordial god and yet none of them gave me the same level of terror as an angry Artemis could do. If anything she had simply taken the place of my mother in the way her disappointment makes me feel really bad. Except unlike my mother she could very easily turn things physical and she kept a grudge.
Now in this sort of situation there is one sentence that is always said by the guilty party and it never makes things better.
"Artemis I can explain." I said immediately regretting my choice of words as one moment the goddess was across the room and the next she had teleported across the room and the next she had mounted me with her knees either side of me pinning me down via the duvet cover all the while with a very sharp hunting knife at my throat.
"And what exactly is doing that going to accomplish that can benefit you in any way." Diana mused with amusement next to me as Artemis turned her head toward her beginning to glare at her counterpart. However as glad as I was that Diana had distracted Artemis I was even more pleased with the release of the pressure on my throat Artemis took in the statement.
"You get out for a minute." Artemis snapped using the knife to point at Diana then towards the door for emphasis.
"Or w-"
"Out." Artemis repeated angrily actually assuming her true divine form as she became wreathed in golden energy.
"You have five minutes." Diana said with a tone of reluctance before disappearing from her position alongside me.
With her gone the golden goddess seemed to lose some level of stress as she took a deep breath before looking down at me.
The knife thankfully disappeared as she slowly lowered her hand and began to caress my neck. Pausing for a second as she touched the small cut in my flesh she had created.
"Sorry I was too reckless." She said guiltily.
"Artemis relax it is barely a flesh wound I have had far worse in the last few days, besides Diana and I know that your fatal flaw is impatience, just as much as hers is an inferiority complex towards you." I explained trying to sound reassuring. It seemed to be working judging by the fact that she resumed her normal appearance.
"Is that why you gave her the ring?" She asked and I got the feeling this was a loaded question.
"I wish I could say yes that was the only reason, but the truth is I didn't think it through properly. I should have thought of you. As dysfunctional as it can be there are three. Scratch that four of us in this relationship and we need to consider each other when we make decisions. As similar as you two are, you are also completely different in ways that some people don't realise."
"Exactly in much the same way that you are selfless and Perseus is selfish, you have different ways of doing things but you would both come to the same conclusion in most circumstances. However neither of you care about the consequences of your actions in the short term but you seem to have the long term figured out. Everyone generally faults you for being rash or even arrogant when you do something but time after time everything has worked out for the better. Look at Orthry's and Olympus two completely different groups that have hated each for millennia now actually talk to one another and build relationships. The Roman's and Greek's help each other rather than try to wipe out one another. You bring the concept of possibility wherever you go, even when the thought let alone the actuality was never even considered. Look at me the 'man-hating goddess' reduced to a jealous lover because I do not have a bit of jewellery on my finger. I may not be the best at showing it like Diana but understand, I do love you, I am just really bad sometimes at showing it."
"I know you do, so does six/sevenths of Perseus for all of his complaining about you. Besides I have something for you if you let me up." I told her grinning thankfully she finally began to comply and move before pausing and raising an eyebrow at a raised patch of the cover. Something I immediately realised the cause of and blushed at.
"Have I ever told you that you are sexier when angry?" I said laughing as she smiled and shook her head in amusement before turning away to give me some level of privacy as I sorted myself out for a minute.
"Artemis will you marry me?" I asked her from one knee holding the golden ring towards her.
"Of course but dear Hades you could have at least put some clothes on." She said laughing gently taking the ring from me and slipping it onto her left hand and scrutinising it.
"And what would the point be in that we would only take them back off him again." Diana said with amusement reappearing behind me, thankfully wearing lingerie again.
"Her ring is better." Artemis muttered.
"It is also mine now, and over my dead body am I exchanging it." Diana said defiantly as the two glared at each other.
"Either of you behave or I am going to trade them both for option one: the Minotaur ring." I told them both causing them both to cross their arms in synchrony and let out a huff.
"Besides when we share a body I will let you use mine if it makes you feel better." Diana suggested seemingly as a compromise.
"And this is the part where you kiss and make up." I joked only to go wide eyed as Diana re-appeared next to a shocked Artemis and move her lips towards her counterparts.
"Maybe I will think about it when we are actually married." Diana suddenly said pulling away with a grin as a crimson faced goddess looked at her with silver eyes like saucers.
"What?" Artemis shrieked.
"Oh come on it appears the prospect appeals to our future husband if you take a look." Diana said in amusement looking me over as I realised my body was once again betraying my thoughts as I dived onto the bed and lay face down despite some discomfort.
"Poor Seaweed Brain you make this too easy for us." Diana whispered into my left ear.
"To think we thought that you would be able to resist such perverted thoughts." Artemis giggled into my right as I realised they were both flanking me now on the bed.
"You know we are going to need to set a date at some point? You know what comes on the night of a wedding?" Artemis asked.
"None of the bridesmaids I hope." I muttered earning a pair of giggles in stereo.
"Don't worry this isn't like Rome it is bad manners to make them watch nowadays." Diana added as I turned towards her before turning back after noticing that she was wearing nothing but a ring and grin.
"Oh please we can always tie up Perseus and make him watch what he will never get." Artemis retorted as I turned to admonish her before noticing that she too was in a state of undress.
The realisation that I was sandwiched between a pair of naked goddesses was simply too much for my brain to comprehend as it went into shut down.
(Pride)
It was rather strange for me to sneeze myself awake, after all as an immortal I was immune to diseases and illnesses. Something 'I' could have used in the first seventeen years of my life to get rid of all the annoying nuisances of growing up as a mortal. Like colds and Acne and the like, if Luke had a brain he should have just waited until I was off school with the flu to attack and he would have been able to win without any problem.
But for whatever reason the son of Hermes or Kronos decided the best time to wage war was always during the holidays which suited me just fine. Even if I still ended up dropping out of school by accident straight after the second Titan war, thanks to Hera.
"If you are going to hide in my cabin can you at least be quiet about it? Some of us are trying to do things that require concentration." My 'Roommate' complained as I turned to face him only to regret it.
"Dear gods you are a horrifying face to wake up to." I muttered back angrily.
"Oh I am terribly sorry should I fetch your goddess for you to make feel better." Chrysaor retorted back knowing I had no comeback.
After all the reason I was currently hiding in cabin three of Camp Half-Blood was so that said goddess would not find me.
I had not meant to stumble upon what I had seen; I was simply after a change of clothes and had been tricked by my own counterparts and almost killed for it. As it was they had both been caught in a compromising position and I thought it best to do the brave approach and hide where she would not look for me.
Of course I had forgotten that we had sent the son of Medusa here to be an instructor so I had a cabin mate, who found my hiding hilarious all things considered as I refused to say why I was hiding. After all if the truth got out and she found out well my face would look worse than his by the time she was finished. I was three/sevenths of a half of what power I should be which meant in a measure of power she could probably beat me despite my domains especially if they were both working together.
"Let's not be hasty or I can call your mother over for a photograph."
"That really the best you can do? I am immune to her petrification after all, part gorgon remember? This face is not just for show. You on the other hand well I know where I would hedge my bets."
"No it is for terrifying toddlers, and doing bad Shrek cosplay. Besides please I killed Medusa when I was twelve she would be completely a cake walk now."
"Please she went easy on you because you reminded her of dad. I know she told me a couple of months back." Chrysaor said as my eyes snapped open in actual worry as I shot up and looked at him properly; it seemed he noticed he now had my attention as he gently placed something on the table in front of him.
"That got you attention, didn't it? Don't worry though she has thrown all the crystal balls out now though, not making that mistake again."
"You do know she is completely powerless against someone wearing glasses." I pointed out sarcastically.
"Which is why she keeps a bow behind the counter, for the more 'troublesome' customers."
"She has a bow?" I asked a bit too nervously which he seemed to pick up on.
"I repeat the statement she went easy on you. It was a hobby she picked up when she was bored of making garden sculptures out of idiot heroes. She did not even use her true form because she did not want to damage the shop."
"Speaking of which what are you doing over there?" I asked changing the subject; apparently the guy still had a major defensive reaction when it came to his mother. Something I sympathised with anyone insulting Sally Jackson again well… putting it simply, they would join Gabe.
"Trying to concentrate but an idiot keeps trying to distract me." He growled impatiently before picking up whatever he was working on and turning back towards it.
My curiosity however would not be sated by being ignored as I pulled myself off the mattress and crept up behind him before looking over his shoulder at the small object in his hands.
"You build toy boats?" I asked in disbelief laughing as he began to growl.
"First of all it is a hobby, second it is a model not a toy and third I wouldn't have to if someone had not given my ship to a fat drunk."
"I thought your hobby was terrorising the oceans and piracy?"
"Do you seriously think those are the only things we minor immortals do. If all I did was piracy there would be no ships left in the Mediterranean. A few vessels now and then is the way it is supposed to be done, it is called sustainability. If you hunt them all to extinction, now where would the fun be in the future? I started out with swordsmanship and when I became good at that I broadened my horizons. Have you never wondered why so many of the monsters and immortals you have run across and killed have actual jobs or occupations? We get bored just as much as the mortals and the gods, the difference is though that unlike those we actually cannot fade even if we do get killed." He explained and now I thought about it when I was questing it was a lot more common me stumbling across monsters in strange places than them finding me.
"So why don't you carve yourself a new boat then?"
"Because doing that single-handedly would take years, it is much easier just to steal one when no one is looking…"
"Remind me to tell Chiron to lock the Triremes up."
"Too late it was the first thing he did when I showed up. A 'precautionary' measure." He said actually using air quotes and trying to impersonate the old centaurs voice and doing a not to bad job really.
"So swords and children are ok to mix, but boats are forbidden. Seems legit."
"Speaking of children, I only get a few hours away from them to do as I please and I would expect you of all people to understand that it is precious."
"Fine go back to making toys. I will just have to kick your ass later." I told him before walking back to my bunk and falling back on it heavily.
"We will see about that." He muttered across the room.
The truth was however that Chrysaor raised a good point. I had no hobbies or past times that amused me beyond being around others that could possibly provide amusement to my daily life. Wasn't that the actual origin of everything that had happened for the last six months after all, being bored was what had lead Percy to becoming the ever increasingly more part-time guardian of the hunters. True he/we had Artemis/Diana to amuse us and the sure to be 'delightful' children on the way but the fact was I had nothing to do. Even all of my domains were simple fundamentals of nature that required zero management or micro management. Sure I could sit on a beach and make the waves come up marginally further but what was the point?
Besides I shared no real interest with even my own fractured aspects. Envy, Greed and Sloth were a complete waste of space and the faster they sorted out their issues the better. They were an inconvenience to everyone and a complete waste of space. All one of them did was sleep for hades sake!
Lilith like me however was a different matter altogether in that while she came across as one dimensional it was all an act, to distract others from what she was really doing. After all she had managed to remove Wrath from the equation within a few hours and he should have been the hardest to settle by virtue of his somewhat irrational hatred of Artemis which she had managed to divert to herself/our self. Something even I would never have considered.
There were only two problems I had with Lilith was her unhealthy 'interest' in myself alone (Wrath formally as well, so I guess the problem was now two-fold for me.). The second was that she was a manipulator rather than a doer like me or even the seaweed brain. But then again wasn't that the problem with love? It caused every sort of problem known to man including wars but never could fix them properly. Romeo and Juliet is not a happy ending for a reason. ('I' watched the movie once, couldn't read at the time, and I do not intend to at any point in the next eternity. Despite some situational similarities (Olympus/Orthrys, Titan/goddess) the romantic situation I unfortunately found myself in was different for one simple reason, with the exception of Zeus everyone had a functional brain, albeit limited for my counterpart.)
That was not to say she was completely uninterested in the fun things in life like stabbing monsters in the face and looking good while doing it. Or making the Minotaur completely terrified of seeing you before making him your bitch. But more that she saw only enjoyment in doing it on a game or doing it mentally to annoy. I enjoyed the rush of physically hurting someone and the challenge of a good fight. She took enjoyment in getting into their head at no care for her own well-being as was the case with Artemis pretty much tearing her apart as a pissed of jaguar.
Though I suspected that may have had something to do with the fact it was Artemis doing it and as much as she denies it, she has to have some of Percy's desire for the goddess amongst all the other crazy. She sure as hell had his masochism, something I lacked hence why I am hiding in a cabin, two and half thousand miles away from her. Not so that she could not find me, there was no point in trying she was goddess of the hunt for a very good reason, she might be a terrible goddess of virginity but everything else she was still good at.
No the only reason I was hiding in my old cabin was because manners dictated she would have to knock as to not offend Poseidon and hence give me a head start again.
Still wasn't so bad, I had found a few emergency drachma under my pillow so that was a small bonus for an otherwise terrible situation.
(Thalia)
"Thalia wake up!" Reyna shouted worriedly as she jerked my shoulders in a seemingly out of character show of concern. If it was not for the fact the last time someone had desperately woken me up and I had found the building on fire I would have found this annoying.
However what became abundantly clear was that the building was definitely not on fire if anything it was the opposite of last time.
The room was steadily filling up with a large volume of water from seemingly nowhere and the only thing separating the pair of us from the ceiling and our floating mattress was about eighteen inches of air gap which was rapidly getting smaller.
Now I would like to say I analysed the situation like any level headed person would do, searching for the source of the torrent whilst checking for exits.
But in truth I panicked desperately trying to move on our little 'raft' which only had the result of causing the side to fold down and toss me followed by Reyna into the cold salty water. Which was the first tell-tale sign, that this was definitely not some sort of random burst pipe. This was being created by someone intentionally and hydro-kinesis was not exactly a common power, so there were only a few candidates to choose from.
Still we had bigger things to worry about as we desperately tread water to keep our heads above the water level.
"Thalia, whatever you do. Do not use electricity!" Reyna reminded desperately and I realised what that could have on my 'girlfriend'. Still if who I thought was behind this then there was only one thing to do.
"Artemis! Perseus is being an ass!" I shouted hoping the goddess somehow heard from the moon chariot.
"Lady Diana help!" Reyna added hoping the roman aspect heard just in case.
The good news was that the fates or someone was actually looking down on us today because both of them turned up. What was strange was the fact they both appeared underwater and acted completely oblivious too water that was above their head height. The bad news was there was obviously going to be some sort of godly squabble between the pair of them as soon as the situation was in hand.
Mostly because for whatever reason I did not know, I suspected (rightly) it had a lot to do with seaweed brain. My sister's roman aspect was completely nude, Artemis was only marginally better by wearing rather seductive silver coloured lingerie.
Thankfully? I guessed the surprise submersion in the water flooding the room caused the lower half of both goddesses to transform into that of a fish's tail. Something both were more worried about it seemed than us two drowning.
However once they became aware of the water there was only one thing that was going to happen when you make several hundred gallons of water disappear instantly rather than drain it off. Everything at the top is going to go back to the bottom…fast.
As I became reacquainted with the floor with a thud before getting the wind knocked out of me as Reyna fell half across me. Let me tell you a five and a half foot tall raven haired Praetor is something I was beginning to like being on top of me. Dropped on me? Not so much.
Of course there were bigger worries now.
"Why are you naked?" Artemis demanded from her counterpart, I wisely decided to keep my head down under the half truthful auspices of catching my breath. My own apparently developing lesbian interest's aside, the goddess was still my half-sister no matter how attractive she was.
"I was in a hurry obviously." Diana replied sarcastically as if it was the most obvious thing ever. Thankfully after a few seconds the room flashed with light and judging by the fact that she was wearing shoes again she was clothed and so safe to look up at. It seems that Artemis had taken her own cue because she too was wearing more than her undies.
"More importantly someone just tried to drown us." I pointed out looking between the pair of them.
"Oh that one is easy… Hi Marina." Diana said pulling the door open revealing the face of a very surprised looking daughter of Triton. Alongside her strangely she had a glass of water and a rock salt grinder I recognised from the kitchen downstairs.
"But why?" I asked shocked at no point last night had she seemed ready to try and kill me. She had seemed fine after meeting the other hunters and everyone had gone to bed.
"You electrocuted me and set my hair on fire!" She said angrily narrowing her eyes as she did so. Something told me she kept a grudge and she paid it back with interest.
"That was a prank."
"So was this."
"We almost drowned."
"Girls behave, both of you. Thalia despite whatever father thinks zapping people with ten thousand volts is liable to annoy them quite a lot, providing they survive of course. Marina I will let you off because you are not officially enrolled yet in the hunters. Something that is my fault due to being in a rush last night." Artemis told us both before pinching the bridge of her nose with her left hand and catching my attention was the small circle of gold on her finger something that had not been there the night before. Hurriedly turning towards Diana I noticed that she too had a band of silver adorning her ring finger. Suddenly their state of undress began to make a lot more sense.
"So Seaweed Brain finally produced the goods." I teased everyone else following my gaze towards the silver and sapphire ring on Diana's finger.
"Only took about a week or so. A battle against a Primordial and numerous near death experiences but yes. Now don't expect me to hold my hand out and watch you all gasp in amazement at it like a bunch of little girls." Artemis said with annoyance as Diana started to do exactly that before sticking her tongue out to her counterpart but putting her hand in her jacket regardless.
"Where is he anyway, normally he follows one of you everywhere like a faithful puppy." I teased.
"Unconscious still with a stupider grin than usual plastered on his face."
"You didn't?" I asked with a grin only to get rid of it very quickly because the goddess was not smiling.
"Marina can you please go downstairs, I will join you in a minute." Artemis instructed with a forced smile that sent the younger girl scurrying off. More concerning was the fact that Diana then shut the door before folding her arms with a sigh.
"Little sister may I remind you that unless you intend to resume your duties as my lieutenant there are some levels of personal information I do not have to discuss with you. Even then what happens in my 'sex-life' is exactly that PERSONAL. Otherwise I may pass judgement on the pair of you." Artemis said with narrowed eyes and I realised the futility in trying to anything from the goddess.
"What. Do. You. Mean?" I stuttered out nervously.
"It means I have known since the very first time your lips ever touched. I always know when my hunters are in any danger of going errant on their vowels. Of course situations have changed in the last few months, which is why we are having this conversation behind closed doors away from the others. So how about you show me a little respect and I will show you some. Do I make myself clear?" She explained with a level of tone that reminded me why one of us was the goddess as I found myself gulping and nodding nervously.
"Yes Lady Artemis." Reyna said dryly next to me.
"Do not take our concern for disapproval. However others will so I suggest you keep your relationship like this conversation, behind closed doors. The last thing you want is this story making its way to Olympus because you will never hear the end of it. Hades Trivia is still reminded of the situation that created Merlin at least once a year and that was twelve hundred years ago." Diana finished with a grin and I got the feeling there was some gods joke I was missing.
"Yes Milady." Reyna and I both said, I clearly lost but I was just doing the default reaction to a god saying something.
"Right then with that taken care of I suggest you tidy up in here whilst I go deal with our newest recruit and lay down a few ground rules." Artemis said completely back to normal in terms of tone of voice opening the door and picking up the glass of water and salt pincher and looking at them with curiosity before setting off down the corridor.
"Whilst I go wake up the idiot." Diana said turning to leave.
"So let me guess she is jealous of your ring?" I asked almost instinctively despite everything I was just told gods damned ADHD.
"Thalia…" She said warningly.
"…Maybe a little." She said turning with a grin.
"Reyna remember I will be coming to the Senate meeting today. So I suggest you get this tidied up quickly and then get ready for it. Can't be as bad as the last one I went to at least." She joked before turning around the corner the hallway briefly flashing gold in the darkness.
"Well that went better than expected, I thought for certain Perseus was going to rat us out." I exclaimed with a deep breath of relief.
"Thalia doors open." Reyna reminded as I hurriedly turned and shut it giving us some privacy. Turning back I found she had moved next to me and I thought she was going to kiss me but she seemed content just to lean up against me.
"So trivia is Hecate right?" I asked checking the identity of the Roman goddess.
"Yes and yes she rather infamously lost her virgin goddess title by sleeping with the Queen of Wales. Merlin was her first child and was the first case of a demigod with two mothers. It has happened since with other gods and goddesses but she was the first to actually do it."
"Morganna was the first daughter of Hecate right though. With the Pendragon guy."
"Uther yes, Thalia… Be quiet for a bit." She said almost coldly as I turned towards her in surprise she placed her lips against mine and I forgave her instantly.
(Lilith)
'He is going to go quiet soon, he has to go quiet soon, he will go quiet soon!'
That was the mantra that had been going through my head for the last three hours now ever since the lazy noisy bastard in the corner had begun to snore. To my complete annoyance the other two idiots had likewise fallen asleep despite the god's awful racket he was making.
I could have left the room but that would have been admitting defeat and like this damned 'Dark Souls or something like that' game I was playing that was not something I was going to do.
Especially when he went quiet causing me to relax only to go really damned loud when I was in the middle of fighting a boss and startle me getting me killed. Something the game seemingly took great joy in scribbling across the middle of the damned screen. Which I had already repaired twice from throwing the controller at. The distance from the save point to the two gangbang boss bastards was not doing me any favours in sanity. You died and then spent five minutes running back just to get your ass handed to you again. It left a lot of free time to consider ways to prevent annoyances.
"Shut up or I swear I am going to punch you in the balls." I snapped at the completely oblivious idiot across the room who actually went silent as I made my way through the abandoned city of the gods (Olympus was better, well except for the inhabitants. Actually it was exactly the same now I thought about it. A cool blacksmith, a hot chick and a bunch of assholes who wanted to kill me. The difference was that these could. Including the lightning throwing bastard and his fat friend who had made my ass his for the last two hours.
"Come on Solaire, stop praising the damned sun. Apollo doesn't need your help but I fucking do." I snapped at the golden character on the screen who had the same limited animations as he did the first time I summoned him.
'Right then just got to do what I did last time, avoid Ornstein, kill lard ass and then kill Ornstein. Easy.' I said trying to reassure myself. Of course the definition of crazy is to keep doing the exact same thing and expect a different result.
Like my ally to actually use his damned sword once in a while and not make emotes in the corner whilst getting hammered flat by the guy I wanted him to kill forcing me to do everything by the skin of me teeth. And then watch as the as the other one became ridiculous more powerful by absorbing his friends power.
Yet against all odds I was witling his health down little by little as I expertly dodged his attacks at the last second before counterattacking and repeating blow after blow until he was at the last ten percent and then it happened.
SNOREEEEEEEEE
A fraction of a second that was all it took between me beating this bastard and getting turned into a damned lightning roasted kebab being waved around like I was on a flag pole.
'YOU ARE DEAD' The screen cheerfully told me before cracking as a kilo of Plastic was imbedded two inches into it.
"I warned you, I fucking did and yet you had to go do it. Well guess what now look who is laughing." I cackled through clenched teeth as I erratically walked towards the disturbance that looked like he did not have a care in the world. Well that was going to change.
SNOREEEEEEEEE
Well at that rationality was gone as I flipped the damned chair over spilling him on the floor and eliciting a slight moan of discomfort.
SNOREEEEEEEEE
Ok I admit I warned him I was going to punch him in the balls. But well I may have lost it and had a change of plans. As I proceeded to repeatedly swing my foot at his crotch.
Sure enough the lazy bastard was not snoring now as he futilely attempted to protect himself.
Of course with the loud whining my actions were creating it was not long before the other two useless idiots woke up and 'tried' to stop me. Well as successfully as getting slapped across the room by my opening wings could be.
"Listen here you lazy fuck, I have had enough with you sleeping all day and the only way I can think of getting rid of you is to make you not want to sleep anymore. We tried the nice easy way letting you sleep for thirty six hours straight. But I guess that is not working so we go the hard way." I shouted down at him leaning my foot on his groin whilst looking down at him.
"EVERYTIME, EVERY SINGLE TIME! You close your eyes to go to sleep. I am going to use your balls as a trampoline. Let's see how long you are going to want to sleep now. And you two idiots if you try to stop me again you are next, do I make myself clear?" I told the three of them before removing my foot from it possible new home and walking back towards the smashed TV. If I had been mortal or even anyone else this could have been quite expensive but a simple hand wave later and it was back good as new.
'How was it that Pride gets to be out there doing as he pleases and I am stuck in here babysitting the three stooges.' I thought to myself as I folded my wings in and sat back on the sofa. The other two wisely decided to make themselves scarce lest they end up like their 'brother'.
I was the avatar of Lust and yet the only person getting any attention let alone action was sour puss Artemis and her slightly less needy aspect. I was identical to her in every way and yet Pride still only wanted her. Because I was too weird, he made me like this with his own damned self-interest. Well guess what he would not be laughing when the only thing between him and restoring himself to full strength is little old me.
Still it couldn't be too wrong if I thinned out the rest of idiots a bit further in the meantime. Someone had to be making an effort to fix the problem that was the five of us. Well four if this went as planned.
"That better have been a deep breath." I said turning towards the sound of a deep breath.
"Screw you" The squeaky figure writhing on the floor called back.
"In your dreams. Besides you are already fucked one way or the other." I told him sitting back into the chair and focusing on the TV again.
This was going to be a very interesting morning or a very painful one depending on your viewpoint.
AN. Well it was slightly to late for Christmas but close enough. An unplanned chapter for the most part but a needed one really to bring a few things to light and step towards dealing with the remaining sins. Something a lot of people have been asking for. Lilith and Lucifer (Pride's actual real name before he became a Eidolon, he uses Perseus now because that is who he basically is) will be around for a bit longer before finally settling their differences.
The problem I generally have had lately is that every other chapter or so is needed just to finalize or wrap up what happened a few chapters ago or even the chapter before. a cliffhanger can take almost half a chapter to resolve. but I also hate missing details and not explaining them with that was dealt with 'off-screen'.
Of course there are a few little easter eggs thrown in that will be relevant in the future especially in regards to SHOI and how that will play out. Providing Fate Grand Order ever lets me finish either of these damned stories, why are mobile games so addictive?
Anyway other than that I will begin writing 102 tomorrow and hope that I can get another one out before I finish my vacation down in sunny Malaysia away from depressing England. oh to be a god and simply teleport across the world.