Hello friends! I know it's been a few months since I last updated, so I figured I would get this loaded up and published to give you something new. Enjoy! :)
"No, Em-ma, dos is mine!" He shouted aggressively, scooting on his knees and yanking the plastic pieces away from his little sister's reach. She whimpered, grunting softly as she tried to keep her tiny grip.
"Nooo! Stoppp!" Whining, John tightened his hand around the toy, ripping it out of Emma's hand, making her cry.
Hearing the ruckus from the living room, the door flew open, her slippers slapping against the hardwood floor as she took the 7 steps down the hallway. Her brow furrowed upon seeing the 3-year-old grasping a handful of cars, while the 4-month-old cried loudly atop the blanket on the floor.
Catching his mother's stare that told him he was in trouble for making his sister cry, he twisted his foot into the blanket, eyes fixated on the red corvette nestled tight in his hand, "Um, um, Em-ma jus twy an g-et my cars, mommy…"
Rolling her eyes at her son being a tattle-tale, Amy ran a hand through her hair. "Where's daddy?" She asked him, crouching down and handing her whimpering daughter a rattle.
He pointed at the door, shrugging before going back to his toys, spinning the two back wheels of the black truck silently as the door opened sharply and Ricky stepped back inside the space.
"Where were you?" She stood up, putting her right hand on her hip, shooting him a glare.
Eyes widening at her reaction, he shut the door, raising a brow, "I was taking out the trash… why?"
"And you just left them alone?"
Ricky rolled his eyes, annoyed, "They weren't alone, Amy. You're literally not even 50 feet away from them." Bending, he scooped the baby up sideways, holding firm to her whimpering body inside the bend of his left arm.
Her eyes widened slightly, taking in a deep inhale as she watched her husband with their youngest child, "Will you be careful with her!"
Rolling his eyes again and ignoring her, Ricky went to the sofa, descending down onto the cushion.
They'd been at odds with each other since the night before, when Ricky had decided to open up a letter from Hudson inviting Amy to tour the campus. She insisted it was no big deal and threw the letter away, but he wasn't sure he completely believed her, and stomped off into John's room for the rest of the night to sleep.
"You should finish getting ready before you're late again." He deadpanned, balancing the baby on his knees as she shakily tried to push herself up, gripping his fingers tightly as she grunted.
20 minutes later
"Hurry bud, we've really got to go, we're already running late." She stated hastily, motioning for her son to pick up the pace of getting to the door so they could leave.
In his usual difficult way, John took his time, dragging his feet and slumping his shoulders before stopping abruptly to pick up a car he missed littered on his sister's playmat on the other side of the room.
Sighing in frustration, Amy put the carrier carrying the whining infant on the floor, and went over to him, lightly grabbing his arm to get his full attention, "Go, up, come on - mommy has to get to school."
Begrudgingly, he moved his feet, taking the backpack from her hands, as she juggled the diaper bag slung over her right shoulder, and her purse on her left
"I hear you!" She groaned at her daughter's cries rising in pitch, as she began kicking her legs against the seat. Taking his hand, and securing the car seat handle in the bend of her right arm, Amy put her hand on the knob, yanking it open roughly.
Her eyes widened, stopping dead in her tracks, mouth slightly agape at the sight in front of her.
"I-I didn't know where else to go…" She sniffled, her eyes swollen and puffy as her hand stilled into a closed fist raised to the door.
Unknowing of what to think or say to the blonde weeping on her doormat, Amy squeezed John's hand right as the chime from her phone started singing out.
Checking his watch, he blindly sprinted into the room, rushing up to the counter, "Can you make it a double?" He inquired, not bothering to look up as he dug for his wallet. "I've got a 2-hour lecture ahead, and I could really use the extra boost."
The young red headed girl cocked a brow at him, taking the crisp $5 bill he handed across the counter, "Didn't you hear?"
"Hear what?" His voice held a twinge of annoyance
"Classes are canceled today." She bit her bottom lip nervously, "Some student athlete got attacked last night in his dorm room and almost died. They've closed campus today to try and find the guy - I was just about to close when you walked in"
Taking his coffee from her hands, Ricky started to panic, speeding up his breathing as he shakily pulled out his phone.
"Yeah, I'm with her now." Her voice was low, pacing the small patch of tile by the table, "So you're just going to come home then?" She paused, gripping the phone tighter against her ear, as his hand patted against her upper right thigh.
"Why she cwying, mommy?" John tried to whisper, watching as the girl sobbed loudly on the couch.
Stilling his hand, she tucked the phone between her cheek and shoulder, "Ok- I love you too..." Putting the device into her back pocket, she turned her attention to him, "She's upset, John - Something bad happened to Jack and Grace is really sad about it."
"Is - is he go-in get b-ett-er?"
"We don't know, buddy. So we're going to let her have some time alone, okay?"
He nodded as a response, scurrying into his room quickly, only to return a moment later, raggedy teddy bear in hand. "Here," He walked over to her, holding up the stuffed animal by its ear, "you tan have Benny, he will mak you happy!"
Taking a few steps to prevent him from bothering her distraught friend, she stopped upon him handing over Benny, a smile creeping onto her face.
Grace sniffled loudly, attempting a smile as she took the bear into her grasp, and brought it to her chest.
Putting a cup filled with water on the table, Amy took a seat beside her, embracing her tightly, as she wept, "Have you heard anything?"
Grace shook her head, silently taking a few long sips from the cup, "I don't know what to do - Nobody can reach his mom, and they won't tell me anything since I'm not family-" she sniffled again, "they said the trauma was extensive…" trying to keep it together as she began to cry into her hands. Lips slightly parted, Amy nodded slowly, unknowing to what exactly to say in that moment. The knock at the door saving her from having to figure it out.
John sprinted over to the child proofed doorknob and tried to turn it. Rising quickly, Amy took over, scooting him back a few inches to keep from getting hit as she opened it.
"No!" John shouted with a bit of anger peeking through his squeaky voice at who stood on the other side.
"I - I uh, came to tell Ricky about Jack -" She mumbled, twisting her fingers around the strap of her purse, awkwardly.
Amy's body language changed, "He's not here - he's on his way back now," gripping the side of the door as she tried to keep from scowling at the unwanted house guest.
A loud wail erupted from the middle of the room, drawing her attention to the baby who was supposed to be on her playmat by the sofa, but instead was almost under the coffee table.
Puzzled, she looked from the mat, to Emma, back to the mat, and finally to John. "Did you move her?" He shook his head fiercely. "Then how did she -" She was interrupted by the infant rolling further under the table, making her gasp.
John shrugged, scrunching up his nose as he handed his sister one of her toys that made a crinkle sound.
Gathering her daughter up, she smiled wide, "You did it, baby girl! You rolled over!" Emma's response was a loud grunt, followed by a swift tug to the collar of her mother's sweater.
"Wow, she's getting so big" Clementine observed, stepping into the still open doorway, staring at the green-eyed baby adoringly
Amy's lip tipped up, kissing Emma's forehead and brushing her cheek with her thumb. John twisted the end of her shirt, bashfully, keeping hidden behind her legs, mumbling, "Mommy… I want sum go-fwish"
Taking the baby's grabby hands away from her face, she pointed to the kitchen counter, "give me a second and then I'll give you some, okay? He arched his back, tilting his head a degree, and continued tugging on her shirt tail. "Excuse me"
Clementine nodded, stepping further inside the space reluctantly, "I - I'm sorry about Jack…" she stuttered with sympathetic eyes at Grace, who just kept her head down. The silence (or as much as there could be with 2 children in the apartment) told her that she was the last person Grace wanted to chat with at that moment.
Wiping her face with her hands, Grace stood, turning her attention to the brunette balancing a box of goldfish crackers and a whimpering baby, "Can I use your bathroom?" Amy nodded, pointing to where she could find it before going back to her task.
She could hear his heavy footsteps bounding up the steps before he even got to the doorway, slightly winded from the sprint.
"Daddy!" John greeted, galloping over to his father with a cheek full of goldfish, his hand stuffed inside a container with the rest of them.
Tousling his shaggy hair, he tipped his lip up at the boy, before turning his attention to the caramel blonde standing by his bookcase, confused, "What is going on?"
His question was met with a loud squeal, as the little girl in her mother's arms, set her sights on her dad.
Walking over to him, "someone rolled over to the coffee table today!" Amy cooed, allowing their squirmy child to slide into his grasp.
Eyes growing wide in surprise, Ricky smiled, "look at you!" lifting Emma a few inches above his head, scrunching his nose as she gripped it with her tiny fingers and gave him a toothless grin.
Normally, a baby rolling over wouldn't cause such a big reaction, but since Emma was born so early, and spent so much time in the NICU, any and every milestone - big or small - was a celebrated thing because it meant she was getting bigger and stronger.
"I came as soon as I heard about campus closing, I wanted to tell you before you made your way there." Clementine stated after a minute of standing too close to the three-year-old chewing his snack obnoxiously, innocently moving closer to Ricky "Does anyone know what happened to Jack? Why he was targeted?"
Shrugging, his footing shifted a few centimeters to be closer to his wife, "I haven't heard much. I came back as soon as I found out campus was closed.
Wrapping his right arm around her shoulders, Ricky pulled Amy into his embrace, and pecked her hair with his lips. She wrapped her hands around his side, fingers linking themselves tight around his ribs, as she laid her head on his shoulder. "Where's Grace?"
Clementine shifted her eyes to the floor discreetly, away from the sight in front of her, just as the blonde made her way back into the room.
"How is he?" He tightened his grip on Amy's shoulder, his expression holding both sympathy and pain as he scanned Grace's face, swallowing the lump in his throat at her puffy and glassy eyes.
Grace wiped her nose with the back of her hand, trying to keep it together as her voice cracked, "My mom just called, he's still in surgery"
Cracking a small smile at his son offering his snack to their friend, Ricky jostled their daughter who was chewing on a toy, "Do you need a ride back to the hospital?"
"I don't think I can go back there yet-" Grace wiped her eyes again, sniffling, "Adrian's flight just left, she's on her way back now...do you mind if I stay here for awhile?" Caught off guard by her question, both their brows rose, giving each other the same look and nodding.
"Yeah, sure whatever you need." Amy replied, taking her hands away from Ricky's side, to bring Emma back into her arms.
Ricky expelled a breath, "I'm going to head over to the hospital -"
"I can drive you, I'm going that way anyway" Clementine interrupted, shifting her feet and running her fingers through her bangs
He watched as Amy's body tensed ever so slightly at her suggestion. Shaking his head, declining, he stuffed a hand into his pocket. "That's okay, I have to go to the store so I'll just take my car -" He paused a second, bending to his son's level, kissing his forehead, and patting his head gently before standing back up to do the same to his daughter and embracing Amy tightly, the baby squirming between them, "I'll call you with any updates"
"Hey, bud" He whispered softly, walking up behind his son who was trying to make his little sister stop crying, "What are you doing?"
John looked up at him, scratching his cheek lightly, hesitant to reveal his intention, "I jus twy-in make Em-ma happy-" he spoke softly, "wike dis!" jumping up quickly and making a silly face.
"Oh, okay, well keep trying." Ricky chuckled, stroking the whining baby's cheek with his index finger, "Where's mommy?"
"In my woom" He stated matter-of-fact, not turning his attention away from his sister who started kicking her legs in the air.
Tousling his hair, he chuckled again and walked down the hallway, stopping abruptly at the sight of his wife passed out, face forward, on top of her books, on their son's bed.
Pulling out his phone, his eyes squinted in amusement as he snapped a picture - the noise causing her to stir.
"What time is it?" She asked groggily, groaning and squinting harshly against the light. "I thought I was in a dream!"
"Nope, it's not a dream" His chuckling continued, pointing his index finger towards the door, "Did you know our children are alone in the living room?"
"Ugh, Emma was supposed to be napping while John played with some toys." Groaning again, Amy pushed the pads of her fingers into her eyes before running a hand through her hair, "I only closed my eyes for a second - shes been clingy and fussy all day and I haven't gotten a minute to myself until she finally went down for a nap-"
"I'm just messing with you, Ames." Ricky stopped her, his dimples showing as he grinned, "They're fine"
She pursed her lips, shifting her legs so he could sit beside her, "How's Jack? Grace got a call while I was making lunch and just bolted out the door without a word…"
Sighing, he took a seat, wringing his hands, "Not good. They finally were able to reach his mom and surgery took longer than they had planned." He blew out a breath, "It's bad, Amy…he's got a fractured skull, bleeding in his brain, 4 fractures in his arm, along with his leg… they had to stop surgery until he becomes more stable..."
Twisting his wedding ring around his finger, he paused, shifting his eyes to her sad face, watching a stray tear roll down her cheek, "But we don't have to talk about that right now" Taking her hand into his, he moved one of her books with his other hand, "need some help?"
"I'm fine you know" She mumbled, her eyes low, partially shielded by her falling locks of brown hair, "You don't not have to talk about this in front of me - Jack is my friend too."
He nodded slowly, swallowing, "I know, but it's only been 13 days… you're still in a pretty fragile place from everything that's happened in the last 6 months" Tucking her hair behind her ear, and brushing the pad of his thumb across her right cheek, "you don't need this kind of stress right now - I don't want to tell you something that might trigger you - we've been through enough."
"Clementine know that?" Her head shot up, blowing out a breath at his open mouthed expression.
Removing her hand from his and untangling herself from the bed, she made her way into the hallway, "She has balls to come here and flirt with you in front of me, that's for sure"
He sighed loudly, following behind on her heels, "She wasn't flirting with me…"
"Oh please!" She scoffed, picking up their daughter from the swing, "I can drive you, I'm going that way anyway" She mocked, rolling her eyes, "What would she be doing that way, anyway?"
He rolled his eyes this time, playfully, biting the tip of his bottom lip, "Do you want me to make something for dinner?"
Switching the fussy baby from her right arm to her left, and putting the pink pacifier back into her mouth, Amy shook her head, "We already ate. I just ordered a pizza - didn't really feel up to making anything, there's some in the fridge if you want it."
"Alright." Rocking on his heels, Ricky shot Emma a smile, putting his hands out as she started to wiggle in her mother's grasp.
Her lip tipped up at their daughter shoving her little fingers against her husband's lips, before her attention was directed to the toddler wrapping his small arms around her left leg.
"Why don't you finish up whatever you have to do, I'll take them for the rest of the night." Ricky offered, taking a slow descent onto the sofa cushion, lifting the baby over his head a fraction, wincing when she quickly and sharply tugged at his curls, "Has she eaten?"
Bending, Amy lifted John into her arms, "Not a lot. I think her gums are bothering her again, she's been really cranky today," closing her eyes as he cuddled against her.
"She's too little to start teething, right? Didn't John start when he was like 8 months or something?" He inquired, accepting the rag from his wife's hand, and wiping the drool running down her chin.
Hiking John up further against her side, Amy pursed her lips, "No, he started about this age too - he didn't get an actual tooth until he was about 6 months, but the sore gums and the excessive drooling was common for him at about 4 - 5 months." Ricky nodded in understanding. "Are you okay? You're being weirdly nice"
"Aren't I always nice?"
"Not really...Especially not last night." The last part mumbled under her breath.
"I'm sorry about that - about all of it." He sighed, "If today has taught me anything - it's that we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, so being angry, or being annoyed isn't good for anyone." He paused, patting the cushion for her to sit next to him.
Obliging, she situated John's frame against her body, running her left hand through his hair as he blinked back sleep; tipping her lip up at her daughter as she placed a rattle in her small hand - which went straight into her mouth
Shifting Emma's weight against his torso, Ricky closed his eyes for a second, putting his left hand out to Amy, and threading their fingers together.
"I'm sorry for being an ass -" He paused again as the rattle smacked the side of his jaw, taking the rag draped over his shoulder and wiping the baby saliva off, "I love you, Amy, and I love these two little mess makers - and I love our life together."
Leaning her head against the top cushion, Amy smiled tiredly, her eyes soft, "Me too."
2 weeks later
His breath was hot against her skin, as his lips trailed down her jaw and neck slowly, teasingly.
"Ricky", She moaned in a low whisper, tugging on his curls, and biting the bottom of her lip hard as his right hand crept up her abdomen, pushing his fingertips under her bra where her breasts met.
He could feel her body start to react on top of him, as he pushed his chest further into hers, and started to suck the skin of her collarbone; groaning and tugging roughly on the only barrier that kept her voluptuous and swollen chest from him after he'd tossed her shirt across the room during their lengthy, and passionate make out session.
Feeling the hard bulge in his blue boxers brush roughly against the inside of her thigh, a deep moan made its way from the back of her throat; breath increasing as her back arched a few centimeters when his hand took hold of her right boob and started to squeeze, gently kneading it as his lips met hers again and his tongue fought against hers.
The light cotton of her too-short shorts, tickled the skin of his bare leg as her hips started to grind against him, causing his boxers to become increasingly more tight against the lower half of his body, and a low, primal moan to escape his lips as she ravaged his hair with one hand, and dug her nails into his shoulder with the other.
With their lips still molded together, Ricky's hand traveled down her body, stopping at the flimsy string of her shorts that hugged her in all the right places, before sliding his fingers into the waistband, and attempting to pull them down.
A loud chime sounded from the nightstand, vibrating obnoxiously against the aged wood. "Ignore it," Amy urged, pushing her lips more forcibly against his. He shrugged, pressing on and smirked against her mouth.
The chime sounded again, this time in a continuous string of vibration that nearly fell off the table. He sighed, pulling away to begrudgingly catch the device before it toppled to the floor. "It's Ben…" His brow furrowed, holding it out to her.
She shook her head quickly, "Hit ignore- I don't want to talk to him", groaning when he tilted his head and held out the buzzing device for her to take. Rolling her eyes, she climbed off of his lap and pushed the button, "What do you want, Ben?"
"Hello to you too?" He spoke low, trying to gage her mood by the tone of her voice, "You sound kind of annoyed?"
"Yeah, kinda - why don't you just say what you want?" Her tone was pitchy, biting her bottom lip again as her husband dragged his nails slowly and tantalizingly against the sensitive skin at the very peak of her inner thigh, urging her to hurry up the conversation.
Ben swallowed loudly into the receiver that he had no idea was on speaker, before speaking again, "Ok, I guess I'll just get right to the point then…" he took a breath, "I decided to go ahead and tour the campus. I leave Thursday, and my dad offered to let me use the jet, if you wanted to go together so you're not alo -"
The line went dead as Ricky grabbed the phone out of her grasp, roughly tossing it onto the red comforter of their bed before kicking back a section of the worn sheet with his foot.
Closing her eyes, Amy blew out a long breath, "You already know I got the letter," pulling on his wrist as he tried to get up from the mattress.
Stilling, his nostrils flared, the veins in his neck starting to show, "how did Ben know?" His tone was icy, his glare causing her to shrink back a little.
"I may have mentioned it at school or something - I don't know -" She stared, flustered as she pushed some hair away from her face, "just come back to bed with me," and scooted closer to him, gliding her hand up and down his bare bicep, "the kids are still asleep and we can finish what we started…" The last part of her statement came out in a low, seductive whisper as she brought her hand to the back of his neck.
His eyes were angry, their chocolate brown fading into harsh, black orbs. Pressing his tongue against the inside of his cheek, Ricky shook his head, "I have a headache," removing her hand from his neck as he rose to stand, taking heavy barefooted steps down the hallway before disappearing behind the door frame
Clicking her tongue against her own teeth, she groaned into her palms against her face before expelling a long, frustrated breath.
The Next Morning
"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, I so owe you!" Her voice carried in from the hallway, the lilt of delight evident as she thanked whoever was on the other end of the call.
"What are you doing? Who are you thanking?" He asked, twisting off the lid of John's green sippy cup
Shoving a small piece of paper back in her purse, "My dad agreed to take Emma for us."
His brow furrowed, crossing his arms against his chest, "You're kidding, right?"
"No, now I can meet my mom."
"No, you can't."
"Um, yes I can. My dad agreed to take her" Amy pushed her bangs away from her eyes, giving him an annoyed look
"That's not the point!" Ricky's voice raised slightly, pushing his tongue into his cheek, trying to keep his frustration in check, "She's not his daughter, Amy, she's ours, and we're responsible for taking her to her appointments!"
Her brow rose, taken aback by his early morning aggravation, "Ok, well it's not a crime for my dad to want to help out, and he said he would - what's the big deal?" He shook his head giving a disapproving look.
"Mwr mlk!" John shouted through a mouthful of pancake, banging his cup against the table to get one of his parent's attention - as his sister began to whimper loudly from the floor - bringing their standoff to a halt.
Zipping up the diaper bag, Amy blew out a breath and walked over to their son, while Ricky sighed and took a spot on the blanket, giving his attention to their fussy daughter kicking her legs in the air.
After the abrupt interruption from Ben the night before had made Ricky kick back the sheets and stomp off into the bathroom, he eventually came back to bed: ignoring her, and putting a pillow between them as he rolled on the opposite side of the mattress, and stared out into the dark kitchen.
Their morning wasn't any better after Anne called while Amy was in the shower wanting to hang out for the day since Amy didn't have school and Anne was going to be in town for more than just a couple of hours.
"You wanna tell me what your problem is?" Amy spat, bracing her crossed arms tightly against her chest, glaring at him. He ignored her, moving the rubber giraffe quickly around Emma's face, making her giggle, which caused him to grin. She stood there waiting for him to answer her, lips pursed into a tight line.
After another few seconds of silence, Ricky sighed, "I don't have one, Amy."
"Say what you want to say" She ordered, raising a brow and tapping a foot impatiently. He sighed again, going back to their daughter. She stepped closer until she was close enough to touch him, her aggravation growing, "say what you want to say, Ricky"
His eyes shot up at her, glaring with a mixture of hatred, and sheer annoyance, "Why don't you just ask Ben what I want to say?" His tone was venomous, "Since, for all I know - you and Ben are boarding his jet for summer school together!"
"Oh please - You know that's not true! You're just upset that Ben got accepted too, and you're taking it out on me!"
"No, I'm not…" He scoffed, bracing one hand on the floor as he rose to stand, before grabbing his wallet off the bookshelf and shoving it into his back pocket, "I'm more annoyed that you would rather spend the day with your mother than take our daughter to her doctor's appointment - that I know you rescheduled twice already!"
"So? Your mom took her the last time, why is that any different?
"We were both in class last time - and it was different! You don't have school today, there is no excuse for you not taking her other than you just don't want to!" Turning on his heels, Ricky bent down to retrieve the dark gray backpack lying lazily against the bottom of the coat rack, "I gotta get to class"
"Yeah go - Go and tell your girlfriend about our problems." Amy hissed, gathering Emma up and putting her on her hip, wiping the drool from her mouth.
"She's not my girlfriend" he dropped his head, closing his eyes, and expelled a long exhale, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers, "you are my wife, Amy"
Ignoring him, and running into his shoulder, she opened the door for him, "Whatever" dodging his attempt to kiss her cheek as he hiked the bag onto his shoulder. He bit his bottom lip at her rejection, his eyes softening in hurt. "She's waiting…"
"What do you mean - you're selling the house?" She questioned, stilling the forkful of hash brown she'd taken off her plate
Anne shrugged, taking a bite of her omelet, "It's time. You've got your own family now, Ashley is living in Italy, and your dad is going to be moving in with Kathleen soon anyway…" swallowing, and putting her fork down, "Why not just sell it?" She paused, taking a sip from the glass to her right, "Unless… you and Ricky would want to live in it?"
Amy began coughing violently, choking on the water she sipped, "What?" Her voice was hoarse, trying to recover
Giving her daughter a look of concern, as she waved a hand at her telling her she was fine, Anne pursed her lips, "Oh come on, Amy, it would be perfect!" She stabbed her omelet again, "Nora could continue living in the garage and she'd be there to babysit whenever you needed it -
You guys would have a lot more room - and John would have a yard! You wouldn't have to go to the park all the time!"
Her eyes grew wide, lips parted, unknowing how to respond to her mother's statement. She took another bite from her plate before speaking again, "Mom, we can't take over that house - we just had a baby and I'm about to graduate high school -"
She put a hand up to stop her, "Exactly why it's such good timing! You're about to graduate and go to college, and Ricky is going to start his second year, and the extra space would benefit everyone - especially John and Emma who are probably always on top of each other in that tiny apartment." Reading her face, knowing that mentally she was weighing the offer, Anne folded her hands on the table, "Talk it over with Ricky - I'm sure he'll love the idea!"
"I'm not sure that's a good idea…" Amy trailed off, moving the fork around nervously, "Ricky's not exactly on the 'let's talk stuff out' mood right now."
"Why, what did he do?"
Letting out a deep sigh while toying with the displaced rubber lion, "I got another letter from Hudson - this one an invitation to tour the campus" Shaking her head, "He found it, and we got into an argument - and then Ben called to rub it in Ricky's face and -" dropping her fork against the ceramic, "now we're at odds with each other and aren't really talking unless it's about one of the kids - I don't know… " she sighed again, sinking against the back of the chair, and slamming her head against her palm a few times.
Anne's eyes widened, as she set her attention on her granddaughter lying in the carrier atop the table they were all sharing, babbling and aggressively pumping her small legs as she fisted a green teething ring; sticking her tongue out, and using the tips of her nails to gently tickle the baby's tummy.
Observing the sight, Amy's lip tipped up tiredly, "If you're trying to get her to laugh, good luck - she only does it for Ricky." Scooting closer to the table, "You only laugh for daddy, huh?" She cooed, taking one of Emma's tiny hands away from her mouth so she could wipe the drool off, before handing her the rubber lion.
"So you're missing out on touring the school because Ricky is upset?" Anne asked, brow furrowed in slight confusion, "Why would you do that? There's no harm in just touring the campus, is there?"
She couldn't tell if her mother was joking or not, her mouth agape a fraction, "Um, yes. Yes, there is" wiping off her hand on a desolate napkin, and running a hand through her bangs, "Mom, Ricky is my husband, and it's not like I can actually go to school there -" She paused, tossing the napkin on her plate, eyes glancing over at the baby again, before shifting down, "Why even entertain the idea of touring the campus? If I can't go?" The last part a mumbled whisper, as she twisted her engagement ring on her finger
"Who says you can't go?"
"Mom, I just had a baby! I can't just ask Ricky to uproot our lives for me to go to school in New York! We have no apartment, or jobs, or daycare - or money - it's impossible!
Anne pursed her lips again, her tone changing as her features hardened, "Nothing is impossible, Amy.
A loud whimper cut through the tense silence, the baby getting restless. "We have to go." Amy pushed the plate towards the center and stood, slinging her purse and the diaper bag over her shoulder, taking the car seat handle in her hand, "Thanks for breakfast"
"I see you!" She giggled, hiding behind her hands, crinkling her nose playfully at the 5-month-old, smiling toothless; her eyes widening and legs kicking in delight at the game.
"You're not gonna laugh for mama?" Amy stalled the game, tucking a loose curl behind Emma's ear before hiding her face behind her hands again, "I see you!" Emma squealed loudly, blowing raspberries.
"Someone is a happy baby!" The blonde remarked, keeping the door ajar slightly with the help of her foot.
She picked her up, straightening out the pink butterfly onesie, "Don't let that smile fool you - Ms. cranky didn't have a good night last night."
Dr. Hightower nodded in amusement, taking a quick look around the room, "No John today?"
Amy shook her head, using her left hand to quickly swipe her hair behind her shoulders as Emma's grabby fingers started pulling it.
The phone in her pocket vibrated, sending a tickle up her back, "Excuse me, I need to take this." Bringing the device out, she adjusted the baby in her arms before sliding it between her cheek and right shoulder, hastily answering, "What? Yeah we're here - Yes, right now…" Her brow furrowed, "Are you picking him up afterwards? Ok. Uh huh. Bye" Removing it from her shoulder, she slid it back in her pocket, releasing a deep, slow exhale, "Sorry about that"
Dr. Hightower tucked a file folder under her arm, taking a small step forward, arms crossed over her chest, "Are you alright, Amy?" She asked, putting the folder on a nearby chair, "I haven't seen you for a few months...Are you getting enough sleep? Eating enough for the two of you?" She tucked a pen inside the front pocket of her white coat, removing the stethoscope from her neck to her ears, "I know your graduation is coming up, and it can be a really stressful time -"
"I'm fine." Amy cut her off, taking a seat on the table, adjusting Emma against her legs to sit up
"I'm so sorry about your grandmother, she was a lovely lady." Dr. Hightower moved the metal piece around a few times, "Mrs. Bowman tells me Reverend Stone's son, Jack is doing better: finally out of that coma and talking..." furrowing her brow, and removing the plugs from her ears, she glanced up, "Do you need to talk to someone? Have you checked in with anyone since being in the hospital? Anymore issues postpartum?"
Biting the tip of her bottom lip, Amy sighed tiredly, "No, I'm fine - really I am." Emma whimpered and began to cry upon the scope going inside her ear, prompting another small sigh, "I'm just tired." She tried not to give the doctor attitude as she was just doing her job, but she was starting to get annoyed with the influx of questions about her when they were there for Emma.
"It's been a very eventful couple of months," Gathering Emma back into her arms, Amy brushed the tip of her nose against her cheek, "and this little one doesn't like to sleep - do you?" giggling lightly when Emma grunted in response, tugging on the collar of her shirt.
Removing her hand, Amy brought it to her lips, kissing her little fingers, "honestly, I'm okay, you don't need to worry about me, alright? We're here for Emma, not me - got it?"
Draping the stethoscope back around her neck, Dr. Hightower pursed her lips, "Alright", taking a few steps back to retrieve the folder again, her brow rising, "I only wanted to ask because I have some concerns…"
Amy stilled, brow furrowed in a twinge of worry, her attitude disappearing, as she hugged the baby closer to her chest, "What kind of concerns?"
Changing the song, she tucked her hair behind her ear, adjusting the purple earbud, and tapping the pen cap against her chin before gliding it across the page.
The wooden door opened roughly, startling her. She jumped back against the cushion, quickly removing her earbud and laying her school materials down, speaking through a rough whisper, and cocking a brow at the person standing in her doorway. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong" Anne answered, in the same way as her daughter, "Why are we whispering?"
Waving her hand for her mother to come in, Amy closed the notebook in her lap, standing slowly and peeking over her shoulder at the baby snoozing in the swing. Her mother's eyes followed hers, nodding in understanding.
"I just got her down." She blew out a tired breath, pulling her hair into a ponytail, "it took me 2 hours of pacing this place relentlessly, until she finally dozed off - I'm hoping she'll sleep for an hour or two at the least." She glanced over at the swing again, before turning her attention to the redhead pursing her lips, "What's up?"
"I want you to tour the school." Anne stated hastily, her tone sharp.
Amy sighed at her, running her hand through her ponytail, "Mom, I already told you - I can't go to school there -"
Anne held up her hand, her eyes showing a hint of anger, "Stop saying you can't!" Her voice raised slightly, reaching inside her bag for a white envelope, "You can if you really want to go"
Uncrossing her arms, and taking the white envelope from her mother's outstretched hand, "What's this?" Her eyes squinted, biting the tip of her top lip with her teeth, confused.
"Before Mimzy died, she set aside money to be distributed amongst her grandchildren and great grandchildren" She spoke slowly, tapping her manicured nails against her arm, "Ashley got hers when she moved to Italy - this is yours - yours and your children"
Furrowing her brow again, Amy ripped the top with her left index finger, eyes enlarging greatly at the contents. "7,000 dollars?" She coughed, choking on her own words as she said them. "What - How - Huh?" Stuttering in pure disbelief as she looked at her mother, "Is this real?"
"It's real." Anne deadpanned, nodding slowly, "The letter inside gives all the details."
She put her left hand to her forehead, still in shock, her voice rising slightly as she took a seat back on the sofa. "I don't even know what to say… What Ricky is going to think…"
"Talk to him - tonight." Anne cut her off, adjusting her purse against her shoulder, "It's a decent amount to scout out apartments in New York with"
Amy glanced from the check in her fingers to her mother, eyes low as she clicked her tongue against her teeth just as a dry cry cut through the air.
Exhaling loudly, she set the piece of paper on the end table, and went over to the swing; cupping her hands under the restless baby's arms, and balancing her on her hip, she opened and closed her mouth quickly, unknowing what to say
"Talk to Ricky, Amy. Talk to him tonight. This is a great opportunity, and you shouldn't have to miss out on it."
She nodded slowly, "I know - and I will it's just -" Switching the baby from her right arm to her left as she started to cry more, "You act like it's so easy to talk to Ricky about this…" she sighed as the cries got louder, jostling Emma in an attempt to calm her, "It's not that easy, mom. Ricky has been very clear that he doesn't want to move to New York - If I bring this up again… he's going to-"
"Love and support you because it's always been your dream to go there - and he as your husband wants you to be happy?" Anne finished.
Finding a discarded pacifier under one of John's toys littered on the end table, and putting it to Emma's mouth, holding it there with her index finger and thumb, Amy gave her mother a disapproving look before taking in a deep breath, "fine… I'll talk to him."
Nodding and turning on her heels to leave, Anne lingered a few seconds, "You shouldn't have to give up your dreams", her voice was soft as she shut the door.
"There we go" her voice was soft, sliding the fussy baby into the bouncy seat on the floor, using her right foot to bounce it gently as she swiped a few discarded baby toys from the other end of the sofa, and handed them to her.
Placing the laptop on the coffee table, Amy opened it nervously, moving the top portion up and down until she got the perfect angle.
"You ready?" She cooed, stroking the irritable infant's covered foot, as Emma grunted and thrust a teething ring aggressively in her mouth. She giggled lightly, before giving her full attention to the screen, biting her lip nervously as a window popped up and began making a noise.
Tapping a button quickly to silence the noise, a middle-aged man in glasses and a burgundy sports coat filled the screen; his eyes squinted slightly as he moved to readjust the computer in front of him.
"Hello, Ms…" the gentleman started speaking, glancing down at something on his desk, "Juergens… I hope you're having a nice afternoon?"
She bit her lip again, straightening out her back to look more professional, "Yeah, hi, hello - thanks so much for meeting with me, this way!" Her voice squeaked a little, mindlessly running her left palm up and down her jeans, as she tried not to look away from the screen, "jetting off to New York for a weekend isn't exactly the easiest these days"
He nodded, unclasping his hands from atop a stack of folders, "Should we get started?" Pulling out a white sheet from the pile, he pushed his glasses up further, "I see here you're wanting to major in secondary education - teach high school?" She nodded, silently. "Why?"
A little whine sounded from the floor, causing her to bite the inside of her cheek as she discreetly maneuvered the fallen pacifier back into the baby's mouth, "Um, well I know how important high school is -"
He cut her off, "Is that a question?"
Amy swallowed, embarrassed, "No, um, sorry - high school is important and I think that my experience in high school makes me uniquely qualified to teach high school students"
His left brow lifted a fraction, "Unique how? Pursing his lips into a line, "because according to your transcript you haven't attended physical classes in quite some time - Why is that?"
She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by the baby's high pitched squeal-turned-whimper. She bit her lip again, exhaling quickly, "I was actually placed on medical absence…" as she tried to discreetly put her hand down and used her thumb to draw Emma's attention to her rings for the baby to grab.
"Are you babysitting, Ms. Juergens?" His eyes squinted again, causing his glasses to shift lower on his nose.
Emma's whines got louder, outstretching a small fist in her mother's direction; green eyes brimmed with real tears, as her little lip puckered inward. Sighing, Amy bent forward, gathering her into her arms, "I had a very complicated pregnancy… and my doctors thought it best to withdraw from strenuous activity -" She exhaled again, "which included attending school physically - I was on strict bedrest."
She watched his eyes go wide, his mouth slightly agape, "You have a child?"
Puckering her lips, Amy nodded slowly, "Two actually… my son is 3."
He nodded. Silence passed between them for several seconds, "which brings back your previous question - I believe that by having both my children while in high school - and getting ready to graduate on time - makes me a good fit to teach it. I've been where they are; I know what they're experiencing, and how they're trying to figure it all out."
She situated the baby against her body: snuggling Emma close against her chest to silence her whines, kissing her temple softly as she glided her nails lightly in small circles on her back. "And you know whether or not I get financial aid, can help me determine if I go to school there."
He nodded again, adjusting the rim of his glasses, "I'm sure you'll find something that'll suit your academic needs here."
Shuffling another set of folders, he clasped his palms back atop the pile, brow furrowed, "Ms. Juergens, you applied for early acceptance, correct?" She nodded, causing his face to contort in confusion, "If you apply for early acceptance, then you agree to come, if accepted - You applied, you agreed, ergo well, you're coming." He exhaled, clearly annoyed, using a pen to circle something, "And... you're eligible for financial aid, so you're getting financial aid." Holding up the circled portion to the camera.
Leaning forward caused the infant's little whimpers of discomfort to turn into fussy whines again, prompting Amy to squint harshly to see what was circled before sighing and shifting to stand, jostling the baby. "That's nice, but that's really just a big whooping student loan."
Taking the paper away from the screen, he placed it back into the file folder, "I agree. It's to cover the whooping tuition"
"Ok, well I'd really need to know where I'd be living before I talk to my husband and formally accept"
"You formally accepted when you signed the application"
Her brow furrowed, "Not really"
"No, really." His forehead creased, the aggravation clear, "There is a $2,000 application fee - it's very high because we want to make sure that the students asking for early acceptance are serious. It's non-refundable."
"Non-refundable?" Her face went slack, eyes wide as she took the statement in, swallowing back the lump forming in her throat, "I- I guess I didn't understand that."
"A summer course in reading comprehension might be prudent." He smugly responded, jotting down something with the pen in his hands, "As far as housing goes… most freshmen share a space- did you want a single, or a double? The doubles are more expensive."
"It would be kind of hard living in a small dorm with 5 people, don't you think?"
"Ms. Juergens… you'd only be sharing a space with another female student - children are not allowed to live in the dorms"
"What!" Amy's voice rose an octave, causing the dozing infant pressed against her shoulder to awaken with a cry. "What about my husband and kids?" She asked, patting Emma's back and peppering her cheek with quick soft kisses in an attempt to calm her as she squirmed and fussed, "Aren't there like family dorms or - or something?"
He picked up his pen again, "I can put you on the waitlist if one opens up - it's about a year out-"
"A year?" She cut him off
"Did your guidance counselor talk to you at all?" He whipped his glasses off his face, tapping them against the folder on the desk, his eyes becoming more angry as he exhaled through his nose deeply, "Ms. Juergens… this is a very serious process. We want to make sure those who apply for early acceptance are serious about furthering their education with this University."
It became silent between them again, as Emma squirmed and whimpered while she tried to collect her thoughts. Exhaling, she closed her eyes, "Look… I'm sorry if I wasted your time… but I do have a family, and if you can't accommodate that… " she sighed, putting her free hand to the base of her temple, fighting back the tears gathering in the brim of her eyes as she swallowed, "I can't go to school there. I'm sorry"
"Then congratulations, Ms. Juergens, this school just made $2,000 processing your application - and some other deserving student didn't get in because you used the money they could have had." His tone was sarcastic, his harsh words slicing through as he abruptly ended their chat with a single click.
Letting the tears escape her lashes, Amy kissed the baby's forehead again, shutting the laptop and shakily bringing her phone into her grasp
It took all of one ring before the sound of O'Malley's chipper voice answered, "Hello -"
"Why didn't you tell me what early acceptance meant?" She cut her off quickly, the crack in her voice evident
It took a second for O'Malley to answer the question, "Um, I did. We went over the materials together, remember?"
"No, I don't." Amy retorted, pushing the phone deeper into her cheek, "I'm going to lose $2,000 if I don't go to school there!"
"Well, yeah, that fee is nonrefundable… you agree to forfeit that if you change your mind - it's right there in the application"
"Yeah - that you helped me fill out!" Emma whined, puckering her lip out as she began to cry into the receiver, prompting Amy to switch the device to her other ear, "I can't go to school there because I have family! And I can't get my money back because I can't go to school there!"
"Well they have family dorms - why can't you get one of those? Or I just assumed you guys would just get an apartment-"
"He can't afford an apartment - we can't afford an apartment - and it's a year waitlist for a family dorm."
"Well I can't imagine that you'd find something in Manhattan but I mean the dorm rooms are 15-20 thousand dollars a year so an apartment can't be that much more, could it?
"$20,000 a year...That's ridiculous!"
"Did you read any of the materials I gave you on Hudson University? It's expensive to go to school there! It's much cheaper to go to school in the state - especially since you and Ricky have a free apartment."
The other end was filled with a static sound before she heard O'Malley sigh, "Look, I helped you get into Hudson - your dream school - but I'm not a realtor, so figure out the housing situation and there you go!"
"There I don't go! You have to help me with this!" Amy shouted back, pressing the phone tighter against her ear, her lips parted enough to show her bottom teeth, as her eyes crinkled in disbelief.
"I did help you - I helped you get in!" O'Malley responded in that all too perky tone Amy absolutely hated, "I have to go", before the line went dead.
Groaning angrily, she threw the device across the room, burying her head in her free hand, as the infant's cries got louder.
Tucking a stray curl behind her small ear, Amy snuggled against Emma again, "Yeah, I'm not in a good mood either" she kissed the top of her head, wrapping both her arms tight as she hummed softly.
Shifting her leg higher against the arm of the chair, she giggled, eyes wide in amusement, "I used to fantasize about marrying you - all the girls in the house did."
"They did not!" He shook his head, chuckling under his breath
"Oh they did too!" She countered, unclasping her palms to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, "You remember I stole a lock of your hair when you were sleeping?"
Nodding, he tapped his knuckles against the arm of the chair, "Well that was to put some spell on me"
"A love spell." They both laughed out loud at her statement, before the buzzing of the device against the glass table drew his attention away. "Who's call are you ignoring?
Ricky's eyes cut away, clenching his jaw as he brought the phone into his grasp, "I have to go."
"You said that hours ago," the buzzing continued. "Amy again?" Clementine asked, her voice low as she fiddled with the apron around her waist. His silence answered for her. She pursed her lips.
Tapping the device against his left leg, he sighed, "Was I wrong to get angry?"
His question threw her for a brief second, shifting in her seat, "Maybe you should go - it might be good for you guys as a family to see what else is out there?"
"That's what I'm afraid of." He whispered, hanging his head a fraction, fighting back a tear, "What if Amy decides that she loves it there, and wants to go to school there? That she'd rather be there instead of here with me?"
His eyes locked on his wedding ring, inhaling, "we just had a baby - another baby - and she has the idea of going to a school 3,000 miles away with a toddler and an infant, when we have no money to do so."
He inhaled deeper, "and I don't want to even entertain the idea… so I'm the bad guy…"
"Have you talked about this with Amy? Told her how you feel?"
"Every time it gets brought up, it just turns into an argument," he bit his bottom lip, "I'm honestly so sick of arguing with her…"
Clementine nodded slowly, her eyes soft as she reached out and squeezed his forearm.
Feeling her hand on his skin, Ricky swallowed hard, "I - I should probably go pick up John…" She stayed silent, removing her hand as he rose to stand, before following suit, the longing in her eyes piercing through him.
His eyes were soft but stern, making sure his ring was physically visible as he gathered his things, "You know even though I get angry with Amy sometimes - I don't regret my kids, or getting married." And with that, Ricky turned on his heels, and walked away.
"Shhh, shhh, shhh" She whispered, jostling the restless infant as she paced around the room in desperation to lull the shrieking baby to sleep. With her back turned, the door opened roughly, serenading the small space with high pitched cries.
"What happened?" They shouted in unison, their gazes set on each one of their shrieking children.
"You first -"
Ricky sighed, "He didn't listen when I told him not to run on the sidewalk and tripped on a stick -" wincing as John shrieked when he moved to show her the barely bleeding scrape on their son's left forearm.
"M-m-mom-mmy" John slobbered, choking on the mixture of spit and tears starting to cover the top of his shirt, as his right arm reached out for her. His sister's cries competing against his.
Moving in closer, they maneuvered their bodies to slide John into Amy's left arm, while she slid Emma into Ricky's right one.
"How did it go at the doctor's?" He asked her after she'd situated their son on the base of the kitchen counter, running the faucet.
"Aside from them giving her more shots…" she trailed off, "it went fine, I guess," dabbing his arm with a wet cloth gently, the action eliciting another shriek. "She did say that she's still not at the weight they would like her to be though - which I don't get because she eats like 10 times a day -"
Stepping further into the kitchen, Ricky's brow furrowed in worry, placing a kiss on Emma's temple as he swayed gently, "What are they wanting to do about it?"
"I have an appointment with a lactation consultant tomorrow - they want to test my breastmilk -" Amy paused, stroking John's cheek lightly, before dabbing his arm again, wincing before moving away from the sink.
"Do you want me to go with you?"
"To the doctor's office?" He nodded. "You can if you want to." Shrugging, she balanced on her tiptoes, rooting around the small cabinet for the bandages, "From my understanding they're just going to have me pump into a bottle and then test it - nothing extensive."
Bringing the box back into the kitchen, she placed three Elmo band aids vertically on her son's arm before kissing it and gathering him into her embrace, turning towards her husband, "I made some soup if you're hungry, it's on the stove"
"Wanna talk about your day?"
"Not really. I think I'm just going to take a shower and get ready for bed. It's been a long day"
"It's 6 o'clock…"
"I know but I've got a ton of homework - my teachers aren't exactly being very easy on me lately" Her tone held a twinge of sadness, laying her cheek against John's hair, giving Ricky a small smile as their daughter took his curls between her small fingers
Ricky nodded again, "Ok. I'll get John fed, and then put them to bed -" removing the grabby hand from his head, "I can help you if you want"
Placing John to sit comfortably on the sofa cushion, Amy pushed on her lower back with her palms, before holding them out to take Emma from him, "You don't have to. I'm sure you have a lot of work too, with finals coming up"
With his hands free, Ricky shifted to remove his jacket before taking a seat next to his sniffling son, gathering him atop his legs, "One of my professors is out sick all week, and the other is just doing presentations - I went today" Swiping the hair away from John's eyes, Ricky kissed his temple, before reaching his other hand out towards her, "I can help you, Amy.
Guiding the pacifier back in, and adjusting the irritable infant against her hip, Amy softened, "Thank you," taking a few steps and threading her fingers through his in a moment of peace before their daughter started in again.
Expelling a deep exhale, she closed her eyes and removed her fingers from his. Accepting his invitation to pass their child to him, Amy leaned forward, making sure the baby was content on Ricky's lap as she handed her a toy, and stepped back, scratching the back of her head with her left index finger, "think you can hold down the fort so I can shower?"
Shifting slightly to accommodate both kids, Ricky smirked at her playfully, "I think I can manage.
Nodding, she turned and took the stride down the hallway.
Stopping in the doorway and catching a glimpse of her little family, Amy smiled in admiration at the way the kids were both snuggled up against him. Watching as their son held up his wounded arm to his dad, her lip tipped up when Ricky took the boy's arm without pause and applied gentle, quick kisses before pulling him closer to his chest. She smiled again at the sight, thankful for the little moments no one else gets to see, before shutting the door softly.
"Doctor Alby will be back shortly with your results, okay?" Nodding robotically as the tall brunette nurse exited the room, she shifted atop the table, adjusting the scratchy gown away from her sore and sensitive chest just as the door swung open again, his sneakers squeaking against the shiny tile.
"You didn't have to leave, you know." Looking up, she clasped her palms together on her lap, swinging her covered legs against the table.
Stepping further into the room, he whispered, "I know, but she was getting antsy - figured a few hundred laps around the waiting room would help," Emma's head shot up off his shoulder, "Or not", her fussy whines causing him to lower his head and exhale, "you okay?"
"Just a little sore," Amy inhaled slowly, leaning back a fraction, wincing, "getting my boobs vacuumed out wasn't exactly very pleasant…"
Jostling the baby in his arms, Ricky nodded awkwardly and moved his head away from her grabby hands, "did they tell you anything?"
Putting out her hands, Amy gathered the fussy baby into her arms, pursing her lips, and swiping some hair away from Emma's face, "Not yet, they're supposed to be testing it now." Taking hold of the gown and bringing it to her mouth, Emma started to cry, "is that teething thing in the bag?"
Pulling it over from the chair, he rifled through it quickly, sending a diaper and a onesie to the floor before sighing and putting it back down, "It must be in her car seat, I'll go get it."
Retrieving the fallen items and putting them back inside the polka dotted diaper bag, Ricky scratched his eyebrow, "I didn't really have much breakfast, want anything from the vending machine?"
Situating the squirmy, fussy baby on her lap, Amy nodded, allowing Emma to bite down on her bent index finger to alleviate some of her discomfort, "the usual, if they have it."
"Two snickers - with almonds - coming right up", he took the handle in his grasp, preparing to pull on it just as it flew open; the petite dark-haired middle aged woman nearly collided into him as her eyes scanned the clipboard in her hands.
"Sorry", Ricky apologized, taking a step back to allow her access as she stepped inside the illuminated room, grabbed a rolling stool from under a desk bolted into the wall, and took a seat.
Pursing her lips as she fiddled with the top page, she looked from him, to Amy, before tapping her manicured nails against her leg, "Should we get started?"
Stepping away from the door entirely, Ricky walked the 5 steps back to the exam table to be closer to Amy, resting his right palm gently between her shoulder blades as she attended to their daughter.
"Amy, do you know what hindmilk is?" Dr. Alby asked slowly, knitting her brow when Amy shook her head. She took a second before speaking again, "Hindmilk is the fat portion of breastmilk; the portion that provides necessary fat deposits for an infant's growth and weight gain." She paused again, gauging the young parent's faces, "When breastmilk is lacking significant amounts of hindmilk, the foremilk - the thinner, runnier, portion - takes over; producing more to supplement the nutrients, but not the fat deposits of the hindmilk"
Ricky was taking in Dr. Alby's words, trying to make sense of all these terms he didn't understand. "I'm confused" He paused, taking the baby from Amy again, his forehead creasing, "Is there something wrong with Amy's breastmilk?"
Amy's eye's widened in worry, "Is there?"
"Yes, and no…" the doctor answered honestly, standing up and taking a black tablet from a bin on the wall, swiping it a few times before taking a seat again, "You have what is called a hindmilk imbalance: your body isn't producing a substantial amount of fatty hindmilk, so you're not able to properly distribute it to your baby." Bringing up a 3D diagram, she used a pen to point out what she was trying to explain.
The model of a breast partially filled with fluid, was enough to make Ricky gag silently into his mouth.
"Basically, the reason your daughter isn't gaining significant weight, is because she's consuming more foremilk - the thinner, runnier, breastmilk - more rapidly, which is why she always wants to be nursed - the foremilk is leaving her stomach too fast" She used the pen to circle a spot on the model that showed a white substance, "Is she fussy, irritable? Prefer one side over the other? Does she spit up a lot after a feeding?
"You mean only everyday since we took her home?" Ricky answered quickly with a small chuckle, cutting his eyes to Amy as he heard her sigh.
Amy's lips were pursed, an unamused look on her face at his failed attempt to be funny, as she lightly grazed the baby's back with her nails, "She's always fussy, but she doesn't spit up nearly as much as she used too - at least not as much at night anyway… but she's partial to my right breast more than my left. Is that a bad thing?"
"The imbalance is probably causing it because your body is off kilter. Somedays you may produce more hindmilk than foremilk: the days where she doesn't nurse as much as others, vs the days where your foremilk has a bigger presence - when you constantly have to feed because it seems like she's never full because she's digesting too fast, and the spit-ups are her body's way of trying to compensate for it - hence the constant fussiness."
He watched as her shoulders slumped, and a few tears rolled down her cheek, knowing she was blaming herself. "It's not your fault, Amy." Ricky whispered, pecking her temple softly.
"I don't understand - I was fine when I nursed our son…" Amy's voice cracked,
Doctor Alby's features softened as she used her feet to maneuver the stool closer to them, placing her hand gently atop Amy's knee, "It happens more than you might think. Lots of women have the same problem - it's just one of those things that you can't prepare for because every pregnancy is different - it's nobody's fault."
She bit her bottom lip before returning her attention to the black tablet, "There are options - you could pump more frequently: 10 minutes or so before each feed, to get your foremilk out faster, or pump into a bigger bottle and shake it for about 30 seconds- there are lactation aids like bars, cookies, and drink mixes - I also have a list of bottles and formulas you could try-"
"She won't take a bottle - like at all." He interrupted, jostling the infant trying to yank on his earlobe, "She just turns her head and cries louder, refusing it."
"You probably haven't found the right fit then - each nipple is different, and babies can tell the difference."
Standing up she took out a small pad of paper from the desk, scribbling something down, "Try this one, I recommend it to almost all of my patients -" pausing before pulling out a small beige package from a drawer under the table, "paired with this formula", and handing them both to Ricky, "If she doesn't like it, try something else like mixing some baby cereal with a few tablespoons of breast milk, or try pumping. Totally up to you."
Taking a step back, she clasped her palms, before gathering the clipboard up, "I'll leave you to discuss while I set up another appointment - if all is well, feel free to cancel - if not, don't hesitate to come back so we can figure this out, okay?"
Amy nodded slowly, sniffling as she swiped the tears from her cheeks. Doctor Alby took a step forward, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze "It's okay dear, I promise you're not alone"
Sticking his right hand out, Ricky thanked the doctor, as the fussy baby fought his one armed hold on her.
Waiting until Doctor Alby walked out the door, he moved closer, "still want those snicker bars?" The question was met with silence. Taking a seat on the edge of the table beside her, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, "Hey, you heard what she said - it's not your fault"
"I'm a terrible mother!" Amy choked, covering her face with her hands.
"No you're not - you couldn't have known you had an issue, nobody could have… " Ricky squeezed her tighter against him, "You're a good mom, Amy"
She sniffled twice, struggling against the lump in her throat, "Emma wasn't getting enough to eat, and I got frustrated because of it -" pausing, she looked directly at the docile baby in his lap, Emma's green eyes piercing her, as she broke down again, "I starved our daughter, Ricky!"
Giving her a few minutes to grieve, his eyes softened, "You didn't know. You didn't." He sighed, balancing the baby on his knee, Emma's little incoherent babbles echoing off the bright walls.
"Tell mommy, Emma." Ricky's voice pitched, pointing a finger at his wife, "tell mommy she didn't know, it's okay."
Sniffling again, Amy used her thumb to stroke the baby's hand, a sad little smile starting to appear, as she kissed the top of her head gently, "mommy's sorry, peanut. I love you." Emma responded with a wide toothless grin before flailing her little arms and blowing raspberries from her mouth
"See? She still loves you." He chuckled, watching his wife wipe the saliva off their child's chin with her gown.
Scratching his left eyebrow with his thumb, Ricky stuffed his other hand into his pocket. "So, what should we do? Think we should give the bottle another shot? Maybe try a few of them?"
Pausing from their new game of playing peek-a-boo, Amy sighed, "I don't know… I'm not very optimistic in her actually taking it… but -" She pursed her lips, wiping more drool away with her thumb, as she sighed again, "I hate breastfeeding."
Pushing her hair back with her hand, "I know that it's supposed to be this great bonding experience with the baby… but it's awful - unbearable at times even."
Swallowing, "I didn't enjoy it with John either, but he took bottles too. Emma doesn't, so I didn't have a choice. And now that I do… now that I can decide if I want to continue being miserable... I - I don't want to do it anymore." Sniffling, Amy glanced over at him, her eyes low, "does that make me even more horrible?"
"You're not horrible, Amy. You could never be horrible." Ricky's eyes shifted quickly to her wedding ring, up to her face, before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "promise."
"This one?" Holding the hanger out to admire the way the dress looked, Amy scrunched her nose, getting an uninterested reaction from her shopping buddy whining loudly inside the cart.
Putting the hanger back on the rack, she reached over, stroking the irritable infant's cheek with her thumb as Emma squirmed and fussed inside the car seat, "You're tired." Her voice was soft as the baby got louder, trying her best to keep her calm with the pacifier, as the onlookers near her began their judgmental staring, and whispers about how incompetent the stupid teenage mother was, and how the poor baby has to suffer for it.
Not allowing their rude comments to faze her, Amy took hold of the cart handle and maneuvered to the right, "let's go find daddy", cutting across the shoppers with her ring visible and a smirk on her face.
Coming into the department of the store they'd started at, she could see him in the aisle, his back turned as he shook his head.
"You're still not done? I left you here like 30 minutes ago!" She shouted a bit too loudly, startling him.
"Have you seen all of these? Why are there so many choices, don't they all do the same thing?" Ricky's face was puzzled, holding a box in one hand, and a plastic package in the other, as he held them up for her to see, "Like these, what is the difference between them? They look the same!"
"Just get the one on the piece of paper!
"That's what I did, but then I started reading the packaging, and then I got to thinking about what if this one next to it was better -" Putting the box on the shelf, he took a breath, "this shouldn't be this difficult!"
"I went all around this place, got the diapers, found the formula, and looked at an entire section of baby clothes… all while attending to a fussy baby" Amy took the box from his hands, stifling a giggle, "and you can't pick out a bottle! I would like to get home before John has to be picked up!"
"We will." He cocked his head sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Smirking when she turned her back, he grabbed something from the shelf, "Hey, Ames -" trying to prevent from laughing as he held the products to his chest, "Whatcha think?"
She turned, the sight in front of her causing her to snort, as he stood there pressing the bottle nipples against his shirt, smirking before bursting into laughter himself.
A cough came from the other side of the aisle, the older woman shaking her head and tisking at their childish antics.
Blushing in embarrassment, Ricky removed them from his chest and stuck them back on the shelf.
Amy giggled again, before pursing her lips in thought, and pushing her index finger playfully into his chest, "I think… that you should use that brain of yours to make a decision, because if I go get all the groceries on this list, and you're still not done -" adjusting the blanket over the infant's legs, "we're leaving you here!"
The sand was warm against her bare feet, some of the water starting to trickle in from the waves crashing against the rocks.
Adjusting her sunglasses, she took a sip from the glass, and turned the page; scanning the text about how the guy was fighting for the girls affection.
"Mommmyyyy" a voice sang out, as a child ran into the peak of the water.
Looking up, she smiled and returned to her book, before the voice got louder and raised in pitch...
"Mommmyyyyy" His little voice whispered, gently starting to poke her with the tip of his finger, "mommyyyyy"
The tiny bit of pressure on her arm was enough to startle her awake, and with her face pressed against the pages, she twitched: eyes squinting at the way he was cocking his head; his little grin showing as he tried not to giggle. Letting the pen drop from her hand on to the floor, and yawning before her eyes fully opened to take in her surroundings.
"Tan you pway wit me, mommy?" John asked, rolling a pile of small metal cars around the table
Yawning again, Amy stretched before running a hand through her hair and picked up the pen, scooting closer to the table and pulling the notebook forward, "I've got a really important test to study for bud, why don't you ask daddy?"
His face fell, ramming a red hot wheel into her open book, "daddy in my woom!"
"Someone woke up from their nap" Ricky announced, jostling the fussy baby in his arms
"Ugh" She groaned, covering her face with her hands, "she barely got any sleep last night!" Moving the pen around between her fingers, "she needs to learn how to soothe herself so she can go back to sleep," sighing, "and that's never going to happen if you keep going in there every time she makes a sound!"
Tossing the pen against the table, she groaned again, "I wanted her to sleep at least over an hour - I have to get this stuff done before tomorrow!"
Ricky's brow rose at her irritation, "I'm right here. I can handle them," switching the baby into his other arm, "just do whatever it is you have to do - we're fine." Tugging on his shirt collar, Emma started to cry.
Unable to concentrate with John's cars rolling across the table, and Emma's shrieking, Amy blew out an aggravated breath, and gathered her things, brushing past him into the bedroom before slamming the door.
He stood there, annoyed, "or go into John's room - that works too, I guess" rolling his eyes at her dramatics, before situating the infant in the highchair he'd dug out of storage a few days prior, and stepping to the sink.
Emma watched with curious eyes as her brother moved the shiny toys across the table, making the noises with his lips: as the metal cars glided around and smacked into one another.
Reaching out, she grabbed one quickly and put it straight in to her mouth.
"NO!" John yelled sharply, grasping it tightly, and yanking it away from her, the slobber attached making him wrinkle his nose in disgust
Bucking her legs against the highchair, Emma let out a vicious screech, causing their father to turn around and look at John. But before he could say anything, the microwave beeped.
Taking it out of the microwave, and doing the routine he'd done do often with John that he nearly had it down to a science, Ricky shook the bottle with his index finger pressed firmly against the tip, letting it drip onto his wrist to test it's warmth, before sitting it on the table, and gathering the baby into his arms.
"Tan I have some mlk too, daddy?" John asked, rolling a blue hot wheels car around the bottle he was eyeing.
Shaking his head - which caused John to pout - he picked up the bottle, "this isn't normal milk, buddy. This is special milk for babies - little babies like Emma, who need it to grow big and strong like you are."
Tilting his head a few degrees, he gave his father a confused look, "Why dos Em-ma not g-et mommy's mlk ne-more?"
Giving the bottle another shake, he brought some of it to the infant's lips, "mommy's milk isn't enough for Emma right now, because she's getting bigger, so we are going to try this milk," letting her get a taste of it before attempting to feed it to her.
Putting the metal toy down, he reached out his hand, "tan I do it, daddy?"
Knitting his brow in confusion Ricky looked quickly between his wide-eyed son, and his daughter sucking on her fingers, "You want to feed Emma her bottle?" The boy nodded, "Are you sure?" He nodded again, causing his dad to crack a small smile as he gestured with his head to go to the sofa.
Galloping off in a sprint, John plowed into the sofa cushion, waiting impatiently for his dad and baby sister to join him.
Taking a seat, Ricky adjusted Emma to lay comfortably in between his right bicep and torso before instructing John on what to do. "I'm going to put the bottle in her mouth, and then you can take it - but don't go too high because she'll choke, okay?"
Nodding again, and positioning himself on his knees, John carefully took the end of the bottle into his small hand; watching in excitement and admiration at how his baby sister made little noises as she drank rather quickly.
About five minutes later the door down the hallway creaked as she stepped out, the purple earbuds dangling from her ears. Reaching for one of her books from the end of the bookshelf, she paused, eyes going wide at the site in front of her. "Is she-"
Nodding slowly, "John is a secret baby whisperer," he chuckled.
Removing the earbuds, Amy took a seat on the edge of the coffee table, "Can he use his powers to get her to sleep more than 2 hours a night?"
"I don't think his powers are that good - or we're that lucky - for that to happen." They both chuckled before Ricky took hold of the almost completely empty bottle and held it up, "I think we found our winner."
She smiled wide as John leapt off the couch cushion proudly proclaiming "I did it!", giving her a hefty high five.
Tipping his lip up enough to show one of his dimples, Ricky beamed at the boy, "good job, buddy," receiving the same hefty slap to the hand John gave to Amy.
Both their brows rose in complete surprise when John bent forward and quickly pecked his sister's cheek, before scurrying into the kitchen to play with his hot wheels again.
Amy stifled a small giggle at his antics, and scrunched her nose playfully, eliciting a squeal from the baby sitting up on Ricky's lap.
"You okay?" He asked softly, wiping away the drool from Emma's mouth, holding her out to his wife, "You've been a little... agitated since we got out of the doctor's office..."
Swiping the hair away from her shoulders, she sighed, "it didn't exactly make me feel great that I had a problem..." pausing, she put the purple pacifier in Emma's mouth, letting her rest her small head on her chest as she patted her back gently, "but..." swallowing, "at least we found out before -"
Reaching over and putting a hand on her knee, Ricky gave it a squeeze, his eyes soft in admiration at his wife cradling their daughter against her, "I know"
A loud buzzer sounded.
"Daddy!" John shouted from under the kitchen table, pulling one of his trucks back to have it zoom across the floor, "daddy!"
"Hey, what's for dinner?"
"Just leftovers I threw in a pan with some chicken." Standing, and pulling down the back hem of his t-shirt, he watched the tired baby yawn and rub a fist into her eye, "want me to put her down so you can eat?"
Glancing down, Amy closed her eyes and inhaled slowly, "No, It's okay, I got it," before placing soft little kisses on the top of Emma's head, smiling tiredly as she took in the steady rise and fall of the infant's tiny chest against hers.