Hello everyone! So sorry for the delayed updates. I have been diligently working on this story to wrap it up by the end of the year, and I must say I'm getting a little sad thinking about it ending. Lucky for us though, we've got some time before that happens. :)

His head dropped to the edge of the pillow, the boys' breath hot on his bare shoulder beside him, as little snores fell from their lips on the tiny mattress. The book in his hands slowly starting to slide off the blanket and onto the floor.

A low but audible drum beat filled the small room; the vibration causing the book to fall with a tiny thud - startling him awake.

Blinking a few times to register his surroundings, he shook his head quickly, searching for the device that was in his front pocket, pinned under the weight of his small legs draped across his knees.

Finding it, he pulled it out quickly and hit the screen, "... Hello?" He answered groggily, swiping a hand over his face. The other end of the line was filled with a sob, getting his attention immediately, "Amy?" His voice was slightly gruff from sleep, now sitting up straight against the frame. The sniffling continued, causing panic to rise in his chest at the sounds of their infant shrill shrieking in the background, "Amy - what's wrong? Is Emma okay?"

It took another few seconds before she finally answered, "I - I can't -" Amy choked, trying to regain her voice, "I m-made a - a m-mistake!" The shrieking got louder, a rough sigh following, "She hasn't stopped screaming in days!" Sniffling, "I mean every night she just cries and cries and I - I c-ca-" Her voice started to break, "... what am I doing wrong?"

Looking over to the empty crib on the other side of the room, Ricky sighed into the phone, "Nothing. It's just sleep regression." Rising to stand, "You're not doing anything wrong." He sighed again and ran a hand through his hair, sensing something else was bothering her. "... Anything else going on?"

She sniffled again, softer, "... like what?"

Now he definitely knew something was off, raising a brow, as he answered, "Um, I don't exactly know since I'm not there..." Pursing his lips, he expelled a breath from his cheeks, "How's your therapy going?"

"It's fi -" she answered quickly, cutting herself off with a swift pause - seeing no reason to shield him from the truth knowing it wouldn't do either of them any good. She took a shaky breath, "It's going... I don't exactly know how well though since I've spent almost every session so far sobbing into a pillow. So that's nice, I guess." Another hard sniffle, her tone lowering, with a sad chuckle, "Who would have thought that being forced to dissect every detail of your life would make you feel so awful?"

He returned the chuckle, nodding to himself, "Yeah, that's always the part that sucks. The venting is nice, but once you get into the guts of why you're there... it can get messy."

"Funny, you sound just like her - My therapist."

"Well, having been in it for almost a decade, I'd like to think that some of the crap they forced into my head, stuck." A loud, dry cry broke through the conversation, getting higher in pitch with each second that passed between them. Ricky heard her groan before the receiver became muffled and then replaced with a series of shrill, fussy whines - knowing she must have given in and picked Emma up.

Amy sighed heavily into the phone, "... Does it get any easier... the therapy?"

Nodding to himself again, "It will. But Amy, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it - it is going to be hell for a while. Absolute hell." He looked down at the snoozing tot with guilty eyes; the guilt of putting their kids in this situation, and the guilt of her thinking she was to blame for it. He swallowed back against the lump starting to form in his throat, "But think of it this way - we - you're gonna persevere and get through it... And when you come out the other side stronger, you'll be proud of yourself." A tip of his lip, "Who knows, 10 years from now we might even look back on all of this and share a laugh -"

That she couldn't help but snort at, "A laugh? Really?"

His lip tipped up higher, shrugging, "Never know." Their daughter's cries started up again, more restless, and he knew Emma was probably clawing Amy's face with her fingers, or kicking her small feet into her ribs in combat. Looking over to the crib again, he clicked his tongue against his teeth, "Do me a favor. Put the phone next to her..." Her lack of response and the pause between her sighs told him she was hesitating. Putting the phone to his other ear, he sat back down on the mattress, "Go ahead, it'll be fine. Just hold the phone to her ear."

There was another muffle before his little girl's squealy little whine of "Daaaaaa" filled the line.

Ricky's lips curled into a smile, hearing Amy coax their daughter softly, "Hey - hey Em - dada... yeah dada..." Another muffle, "Can you say hi? Hi, dada? Hi, Daddy..."

"Ah -" She gasped lowly under her breath at the sharp jabs to her ribs, taking a slow breath as she ran a hand slowly over her protruding belly, glancing over to him and their son on the other side of the couch, "I think he wants you to get louder -"

It was almost bedtime, John sitting between them, but leaning more over to Ricky since she was the size of two people. He was reading one of their son's many books - animating the story with various voices and expressions to appease the tot.

John looked up at her, his eyes blinking slowly before returning his attention, and his finger, to the page - waiting for the animations to continue.

With a small scoff, Ricky shook his head playfully, "If we keep going like this, I worry my voice will permanently be altered from having to do these voices for the rest of my life." He looked up, noting how she shifted uncomfortably against the cushion, pulling herself up to alleviate some of the discomfort in her lower back, "You okay?"

Nodding slowly, Amy took a shaky breath as another jab got her right in the spleen, "... yea... I'm just - I'm not that large to begin with and I worry at the rate in which this kid is going, they'll kick or punch their way out of me" Sighing, she slid back against the couch again, wincing.

Leaning over to his mother's side, John cocked his head and put his palm on her shirt, "Is - is my bay-be bwo-der jus s-eeping?" Quickly pulling back when he too felt the thump to his palm.

"No, they most definitely are not sleeping, buddy." Closing her eyes, she bit her bottom lip, "Ow!"

Putting the book on the nightstand, he gently touched John's shoulder, bringing him back over towards him, "Hey bud - why don't you go into your room and find me another book to read?" Without rebuttal, he nodded and leaped off the sofa, scurrying away and into the hallway. Waiting until he was fully out of earshot, Ricky scooted closer to her, taking her head in his and kissing her knuckles gently, "Is there anything I can do?"

With her eyes still closed, she dropped her head back with a rough swallow, and sadly chuckled, "Have this baby for me?" He pursed his lips, looking down at their hands, before lowering his head to her stomach and whispering against her shirt. Caught off by his sudden movement, "What are you -" She raised a brow at him but was cut off by a swift raise of his index finger, matching her raised brow with his own and continuing. Nodding to himself, he pushed himself back upright, a smirk appearing on his lips. "What was that about?" She asked, skeptical.

He shrugged nonchalantly, "Nothing." Leaning back against the cushions, his smirk getting bigger as he caught her moving her hands around her bump, "Is our little Incredible Hulk still giving you issues?"

With the quick and sharp kicks now softening to small hiccups as the being inside her settled, she sat dumfounded, lips parted enough to show her teeth, "How do you do it?"

He couldn't keep from chuckling, "A good magician never reveals his secrets, Ames." Opening her mouth to rebuttal, she was interrupted by the giggles of their son barreling back into the room and onto the sofa. "Did you get one?" He asked, hoisting John up on his lap who nodded, holding up the book in his hands with a grin. Raising a brow, Ricky read the title aloud, "Thomas and Friends Have A Race, huh?" Lowering his head slightly and shaking it in mock shock, "More voices... great..."

She chuckled this time, running her hand over his arm, a mock in her voice, "Go on, work some of that magic!"

Raising his head, he just scoffed under his breath and bit his lip before the tiny hands of their son were placed on his cheeks, forcing his eyes to look at the page while John's squeaky little voice demanded, "Rwe-d, daddy!"

The clatter of the device against the carpeted floor, snapped her back to reality, his voice muffled from below, "Amy? Amy, you there?"

Gathering her surroundings, she glanced down at her phone before shifting her gaze to her shoulder. Not even 5 minutes had passed since Emma was thrashing and screaming, and now she was struggling to stay awake on the edge of her shoulder quietly sucking her thumb. Ricky truly was magic.

Holding firm to their child's body, careful not to disrupt her, Amy grabbed the device from the floor, "... How do you do it?" She whispered, totally in awe of him.

He chuckled lightly, "Do what?"

Pausing for a second, her voice became soft, "Make everything better..."

Another pause before Ricky swallowed roughly and confessed with sadness in his tone, "Not everything..."

The tears were brimming in her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks as she shook her head slowly and stated through a wobbling lip, "No... everything." She heard him sniffle before she realized what she had said. So before he could respond, she blinked rapidly and quickly tried to cover up the break in her voice, "I should - I should probably get to bed before she becomes a little thrashing ball of rage again." He didn't say anything, just kept his breathing steady. Sighing, she started down the hallway, "Not to mention another fun-filled day of raking myself over the coals of a beige carpet..." Still no response. "Don't you have a test tomorrow?"

"Yeah - just got done studying before I put John to bed." He finally said, the tiniest change in his voice catching her attention.

"Nervous are we?" She teased, looking at the t-shirt under her bare feet.

"Not so much anymore," Another pause before he got quiet, "Get some sleep, I need both my girls well rested"

Amy smiled at his words, looking at the bed and imagining him lying against the headboard, "And if I can't... sleep... I mean?" A coy smirk made its way on her face imaging his dimples popping out of his left cheek while he tried not to grin.

"Well... then you know where I'll be... Night, Ames."

The smile got bigger, closing her eyes with delight at the flirtation laced in ushering her nickname, "Goodnight, Ricky..." Hanging up hesitantly, she placed the now passed-out baby inside the crib slowly, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, and moving a curl behind her ear, "We're gonna be okay, baby girl. I promise."

Grasping the device against his ear, he sighed and hung up, the tear silently rolling down his left cheek. Kicking his shoes off, Ricky glanced over at the empty crib and then at the boy, letting another tear roll down his cheek as he took three steps to the vacant spot where their baby slept. With a shaky hand, he grasped Mr. Blinky, a stuffed lion with big eyes sewn into its small frame. It was one of the stuffed animals he didn't pack into her bag for some reason. Stroking its slightly dingy mane that was partially covered in dried drool, he grimaced for a second and brought it to his chest, needing to imagine it was her if only for a second.

There was a small grunt from the mattress, John's tiny frame fighting to stay asleep as he rolled over. Glancing down at the toy, Ricky walked over to the bed and settled in, lying beside him, and listening to his soft breaths; the stuffed animal now clutched in his fingers and pressed to his chest like a lifeline. The tears slid down his cheeks again when his eyes rested upon his son's innocent sleeping face: the guilt weighing heavy on him again. "We're all gonna get through this, buddy..." He whispered, placing a soft kiss on his arm sticking out from the cover before settling next to him.

"We're a family and -" He stated loudly, a little agitation in his tone.

"We're broken, Dad! You, Mom, me, Ashley, and Robbie - we're a broken family!" She rebutted, wiping away a tear from her cheek, "Why did you have to cheat on mom... Was she really that bad? Did we make you that unhappy?" Her eyes were puffy and swollen from the crying she had done the entire session that day, as she looked at him for an honest answer.

George cleared his throat a moment before speaking, taking her hand beside him, "My mistakes were just that - mine. They had no reflection on you, or what you did. They didn't. You didn't do anything to cause the mistakes I made."

She sniffled, "Yeah... except get pregnant..."

He shook his head, "Not even that. Ames, you're not the issue for my walking out on our family." Sighing, "Your mom and I weren't happy. We weren't happy in our marriage, and we weren't happy in each other's lives."

"But George, Amy is asking why you felt the need to step out. Not if you were justified in doing it." Liv replied, tapping the pen along the notepad in her lap, "Amy, George is telling you it's not your fault and that it had nothing to do with you. Listen to that, okay? It wasn't about you... understand?"

They both nodded slowly, before he pulled her into an embrace, whispering, "It's not your fault, baby, it was never your fault." Shushing her cries as she came undone again and continued to sob against his shoulder.

It had been 2 weeks since Amy's arrival, and since the day she stepped foot inside the facility, it seemed all she did was cry.

Thankfully, George was there with her, and the "family therapy" sessions were helping to unpack a lot of resentment and hidden feelings unknown to even herself that she had been carrying.

George helped out in any way he could and was the only steady parent she could rely on since Anne had refused to acknowledge Amy had a problem, and refused to speak on her behalf - telling Liv that it was still too painful and difficult to divulge. This equated to the translation - She was still angry with Amy for choosing to come back to California and wanted to stick it to her daughter by refusing to entertain the idea of helping her get better. Refusing to answer phone calls was one thing, but to actually hear her mother's own voice tell someone else - a stranger who treated her like an actual person - that she got what she deserved... was too much. There had been fights before. Anne wasn't the warmest person after she had made the revelation that she was pregnant the first time, and even worse when she was pregnant the second time... but they had made up and were getting along. Her mother supported her going to New York - so why would she turn on her now? Thinking about it caused her too much pain, so she focused on righting another wrong - Ashley.

Since Amy got there, she had been trying to talk to her sister. To mend the rift between them after she left for New York again. Because Ashley was right, about everything, and it wasn't right of Amy that she said those horrible things to her. And given what she was told - what she kept secret - about her sister, it made the pain of her words that much more cutting. So when Ashley volunteered to speak with Liv and George in one of their sessions, it made her cry. Her sister was willing to bury the hatchet between them, because Ashley knew her sister needed help, and knew that what Amy did, and what Amy said, wasn't malicious... she knew she was struggling, and was happy she was seeking treatment.

And then there was Ricky...

Liv only included Ricky in two family sessions, everything else, was kept to the vest. Amy's relationship with Ricky was something she wanted to keep private as well. Her family knew things - but the deeply personal and private moments they shared, were not for their ears to hear. So they kept it plain and simple during those sessions - their friendship before John, and their co-parenting/friendship after John. How did Ricky fit into the chaotic family dynamic of them all?

It was after the first family session, that Ricky had devised a plan - have nightly video chats. This provided the kids the ability to see each other and communicate for an hour every night, which he knew they desperately needed. So every night after dinner and baths, he would get one of the many books littering John's room, and read to them both over the chat. Usually one or both would be asleep before the story ended, making it easier to put them to bed without a tantrum of having to say goodbye to the other parent.

But on the hard days... the days where both of them felt as if the world was crumbling down on them, or the absence was just too difficult, they would put the kids to bed and then sit there and talk. Talk about their struggles, or their triumphs of the day until they both struggled to keep their eyes open. Those were his favorite days because they seemed to strengthen them; no longer sheltering hard glances or bitter retorts whenever one of them walked into uncomfortable territory.

John on the other hand was struggling. In his sister's absence, he began to feel even more neglected and showcased this by shutting down and regressing - acting like a baby to get his father's attention, or acting like a terror because he had all these complicated feelings he didn't know how to express to anyone. Thankfully only one incident resulted in this - a small pinching debacle at the Preschool between him and none other than Trevor. Needless to say, Amy wasn't happy to know the boys were in the same class again and called the preschool to complain. It did no good though, they just separated the boys on opposite sides of the room.

Besides school though, John showcased his sadness by crawling into his sister's crib some nights after he would awaken from a bad dream, or just simply felt lonely. The crib was too small for him, so he would bend his knees into his chest and suck his thumb, craving Emma's small hands - he was so used to pulling away from him - to touch him. He even slept with her clothes one night just to have something of hers. That was the night Ricky found out what he was doing and carted him into the living room instead. It was then that John had divulged all his sorrows through slobbery, hiccuping cries, into his chest.

And it was there that Ricky realized the toll his and Amy's problem had taken on their young son. John knew his mother was getting help with her sickness. He also knew that his sister was helping Mommy get better, but it didn't stop the whys that always plagued his mind:

Why was Mommy sick?

Why did Mommy have to stay there?

Why did Mommy take Emma and not him?

Why didn't Mommy love him anymore?

"I-I-I w-wa-wa-wantttt m-mo-mom-mmyyyy!" John bellowed, repeatedly screaming at the window and up towards the stars, his shirt soaked with saliva, snot, and tears.

Ricky's heart was breaking, and all he could was bend to his level and let him collapse into him, burrowing so deep, he could feel the rattle of his son's cries in his bones as he whispered softly into his ear, "I'm sorry, John... I'm so sorry..." With a hard sniffle to follow.

9 days later

Her stomach tightened, trying to maneuver over the center console without hitting the shifter with her hip. Her hands were busy wrapped his hair and undoing the first four buttons of his shirt, slowly dragging his bottom lip down with her teeth.

A loud buzzing filled the car, their labored breaths fighting against the mid-morning humidity seeping in from the vents. The car was off, trapping the heat inside with it: not wanting to keep it idle and cause a scene if someone were to see them behind the McDonalds off the side of the highway.

The buzzing continued, and this time he answered it, grabbing the phone from the cup holder, his eyes scanning over it quickly. Her gaze followed, "Everything okay?"

"It's Bunny..." He trailed, quickly scrolling his thumb against the screen, "The freezer went out at the butcher shop... it's closing for the weekend for repairs."

She cocked her head, "Okay so what does that me -" Another loud buzz, cut her off.

He chuckled to himself, now reading whatever was on his phone, "Professor Rodriguez is out with the flu. No class today." Without a warning, he adjusted himself against the seat and moved her leg off the console

"What are you -" Clementine protested but was met with a harsh look

"This is the sign I've been waiting for!" Ricky stated, turning on the ignition and waving his hand to tell her to get off the console so he could shift the car into drive.

Her brows knitted together, "What sign?"

Without looking at her he took off, driving quickly up to the stoplight before taking a breath, "To take John and go to San Diego."

Her eyes became wide, "Why would a text and an email be a sign to do that? We were just making out - and now you think you need to go to San Diego?" Her voice rose, confused by this sudden declaration. He gave her another harsh look, his eyes steeled. She pursed her lips in thought before suggesting, "What if we spent the weekend together? We could take John on a picnic in the park? Or we could order takeout, maybe watch a movie... makeout some more... and maybe do more -"

He cut her off quickly, an edge to his voice at the stupidity rolling from her mouth, "Why would I do that? My son hasn't seen his baby sister or his mother in weeks! John's been begging for days to see Emma and Amy - now I have the opportunity to give that to him." He paused, waiting for the person in front of them to switch lanes, "I have the whole weekend off of work, and if I leave today, I'll be able to have almost the whole weekend with them... why are you so against me seeing my kid?"

"I'm not!" She rebutted quickly, folding her arms across her chest, "I'm not asking you not to see Emma, I would never do that. But -"

"But what?"

"Is it a crime for me to want to spend more than 10 freaking uninterrupted minutes with you? My boyfriend!" Ricky cringed at that word, a sick feeling starting to creep into his stomach. "What if we all went?" Clementine blurted after 30 seconds of silence. His eyes darted over quickly as she nodded to herself, "We could drop John off at Amy's and take Emma for a little while, or take them both for a couple of hours. Get a hotel, and spend some time together once we drop John off and -"

"No." He cut her off again, shaking his head with a huff, "No, that's a terrible idea."

"Why?"

"Why? Clementine, John isn't just something you can toss aside. He's a child. A small child who can't just be dropped off somewhere he's never been before." Gripping the steering wheel, "He's 3, I can't just plop him on Amy's doorstep with a backpack and say 'Here you go, I'll be back later'. It doesn't work like that. I need to be there when he reunites with Amy. He needs to see that I'm not going anywhere just because his mom is there too." A few seconds of silence passed, his breaths becoming quicker as the aggravation was starting to fester, "And besides that, I haven't held my daughter in almost a month. I intend to spend more than just a few hours with her and my son. Like it or not."

Turning in her seat, her palm slapped at the console, anger in her tone, "Admit it - you're choosing her. Again!" He didn't respond, just made a sharp turn into a partially packed parking lot. "Why are we -"

Shifting the car into park, he threw off his belt and muttered, "I'm not arguing about this -" Grabbing his door, he put his left leg out, "I'm going to get John, so for now this conversation is over."

Grabbing his wrist, she seethed, "So you'd rather spend your free weekend with your bitch of an ex, than me? Great, got it!"

With one leg still inside the car, Ricky glanced between the front doors of the building, and her, her face contorting as she fought a tear brimming in her eye. He sighed, reaching for her, but settled with putting his hand on her knee when she recoiled at his touch, "It's not a weekend with Amy, alright? It's a weekend with my kids, together under the same roof again... Amy just comes with the territory. She's their mom. They're a packaged deal... okay?" Not waiting for her response, he put the other leg out and shut the door, sprinting to the large double doors at the front of the building.

"Amy just comes with the territory... they're a packaged deal..." Clementine mocked, flipping him off behind the tinted windshield, venom is her tone as she scoffed and rolled her eyes, "She's only a packaged deal because your dumbass couldn't bother to wear a condom - making her that way!"

It took all of two minutes before she saw them heading towards the Prius. The shrill voice of the toddler grating on her already aggravated nerves and giving her a headache. She rolled her eyes again as the door clicked and he clambered inside quickly; the questions already starting in jumbled and rushed strings of sentences that nobody really cared about.

"Why was she here?"

"Daddy, is Clementine going with them?"

"Why did Daddy get me from school?"

"Can I have a snack?"

"Is the special adventure gonna be fun?"

"Will there be bears?"

"Can Benny come too -?"

Not being able to keep her cool much longer as Ricky blatantly ignored his annoying son's 20 questions, Clementine clicked her tongue and shifted in her seat, "How about we play the quiet game?"

John cocked his head at her, raising his small brow, "Wat is th-at?"

"The quiet game is when everyone is super quiet. No talking or else you lose."

"Th-at is st-ooopid!" He protested, shaking his head and wiggling in his seat.

"Oops, you lost!" She replied smugly, getting a rise out of him.

"Nuh-uh! You did!" He shot back, pointing at her with a glare, and whining, "Daddy, Temn-tine jus -"

"You lose again. You're not very good at this game."

Her giddy only fueled him, his voice rising, contorting his face with a scrunched expression before sticking his tongue out, "Nuh uh you - you meanie butthead!"

About to respond to end the nonsense Ricky knew Clementine had intentionally caused, she put her finger to her lips and quipped bitterly, "It's quiet game time, remember?" Not wanting to make a scene in front of the boy, Ricky gritted his teeth, tightened his grip on the steering wheel, and took slow, anger combating, breaths.

"I just don't get why you have to go right now - can't you at least wait until this evening so we can have lunch?" She huffed, putting her hands on the top of the duffle bag perched on the table.

Closing the kitchen cabinet a little rougher than intended, he shook his head in disbelief that they were still having the same argument, "Why does it bother you so much - me being around my children's mother?"

Her eyes widened at that, "Why does it bother me?" He nodded slowly, one brow raised, waiting for the answer. She scoffed under her breath, taking a step closer, "Fine - you wanna know why you being around her bothers me so much? Because not only do you put 'Ms. Perfect', and her needs above everyone - above me - you also cheat on me with her and don't see a problem with it!" There was a scowl on her face, turning on her heel towards the refrigerator.

Ricky rolled his eyes, "I never said -"

But Clementine spun on her heels and shoved her finger into his chest, her eyes wild with rage, "The last time I trusted you, you betrayed me! I had to find out you slept with her AFTER I saw you two making out through the damn window!" Shoving him, "I'M your girlfriend, Ricky! Not her!" Her lip began to wobble, "Just once I'd like to be treated like I matter more than her! More than your ex who willingly abandoned you more than once! Don't I deserve that?"

He sighed, taking a step towards her, "Of course... but -" but stilled at the sound of little sneakers rushing into the room. Clearing his throat, "Hey buddy - you ready to go?" And smiling as he reached forward to pick him up. John nodded vigorously giving him a tight squeeze around the neck. "C'mere!" Ricky's smile widened, tousling his son's dirty blonde locks that were getting longer by the day, "We're gonna go to the gas station before we take Clementine back to the school, and then we'll be on our way, okay?" John nodded again, but lowered his head, his eyes glaring from under his furrowed brow.

Rolling her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that day, Clementine grabbed her purse from the couch with haste, "Don't bother, I'll call a cab. I really really don't feel like being around you right now." She glared at him with a clenched jaw, fighting back the words she really wanted to say on the end of her tongue. Fighting back to tell him that he was a no-good son-of-a-bitch who needed to realize that his ex is manipulative, and using him for free childcare for the brat they had together. But instead, she unclenched her jaw, and threw the door open, shouting, "Go ahead - go off and do what you do best... and when it bites you in the ass - because it will - I'll be here to say 'I told you so'." Slamming the door behind her, hard.

John looked up, unwrapping his arms from his neck, "Temn-tine jus say a b-ad w-ord, daddy."

Nodding, Ricky simply shook his head, annoyed by her behavior, and angered that she was acting so clingy and jealous. "Don't pay attention to her, buddy." Zipping the duffle up with one hand and slipping it over his wrist, "Let's go tell Bunny bye."

"A super special secret adventure, huh?" Bunny inquired playfully, knowing full well Ricky's plans for the weekend ahead.

John nodded, beaming and bouncing on the tip of his sneakers, "Uh-huh! Uh-huh! It a sa-pwise!"

She returned his smile, accepting his open-palmed high-five, before he sprinted away, "Well that sounds like so much fun!"

Ricky chuckled at his son's excitement, "Thanks for this - I - we, really needed it."

"Daddy! Daddy!" He shouted impatiently, still bouncing against the floor; the energy coursing through his tiny body like rapid fire.

Bunny chuckled, "Go on, have a good time - but not too good... you already got two little ones to wrangle -" wagging her finger at him with a rather suggestive brow rise.

Rolling his eyes, he scoffed playfully at her innuendo, "Yeah, yeah I get the jist." Giving her a nod and a wave before joining his over-eager child in opening the door and heading towards the sidewalk.

"They're happening again aren't they... the dreams?" Liv questioned, crossing her left leg over her right one, eyes narrowing on her.

Amy nodded slowly, keeping her gaze on the floor, the tears dripping from her cheeks, "I keep thinking they'll stop eventually but -" Sniffling hard, "But they seem to be getting more intense; almost like... I'm inside them for real... and I wake up in a panic, clutching my chest in fear that... I'm -" Her breath quickened, clutching her shirt as she tried to calm herself.

Putting her hand on her knee, "That's normal. It's your brain's way of unlocking repressed memories caused by trauma." She patted it gently, handing her a tissue, "What do you do when they occur? Are the deep breathing exercises helping, or do you walk around the room, trying to gather your surroundings and realize that that dream is not reality?" Her gaze dropped further, looking away guiltily. Liv pursed her lips, "Ah - I see." Nodding to herself, "You've been getting in her crib again... haven't you?"

"I kno -" Swallowing roughly, she hiccuped and brushed the tears from her cheeks, "I know I shouldn't... because Emma will be going back to Ricky's soon, and I'll be alone." Her voice started to break, "I know I can't use my daughter as a crutch, or a coping mechanism... but I -" Another sniffle, "They feel so real... I -" Closing her eyes and biting her lower lip as a strangled plea left her lips, "I need her! Okay, I need my baby!"

Liv handed her another tissue, leaning up further in her seat to meet her eyes, "And that's okay, Amy. It is okay to feel that way. She's your daughter and given the circumstances of what you both went through and the trauma you both suffered... I'd be more concerned if you didn't feel this way -"

A light tapping on the door startled her back to the present, head buried in her hands, wiping away the tears streaking her cheeks just in case Mickey and Taylor stood on the other side.

She hadn't seen them in 3 days - choosing to skip group by telling everyone she wasn't feeling well. It was half true - she didn't feel well. She felt like she was dying, bit by bit on Livs creme colored sofa; rocking back and forth while sobbing into the gray carpet. After those sessions, her disheveled appearance and unkempt emotional state weren't exactly what she wanted the other women to see: even though they too were going through it, the unconscious judgment laced in their eyes would have sent her over the edge. Again. She would know, she held it too.

The knock came again, a little harder, but still soft enough to avoid answering right away - whoever was on the other side, not in a huge hurry. Taking a slow deep breath, she groaned to herself and stood up from the sofa, tying her hair in a loose bun to indicate to her friends that she still wasn't feeling well, and gave the door knob a light tug - unprepared to see who stood on the other side of the wooden frame. Her hands immediately went to her mouth, eyes wide in both surprise and confusion, "What are you-"

Quickly putting his index finger to his lips, he stepped inside, careful of the boy's head lolled at the end of his shoulder, the smile creeping onto his face, gesturing towards the rest of the room with a flick of his head, as he whispered, "We wanted to surprise you - but he fell asleep the last few miles of the ride... can I -?"

Nodding vigorously, she rushed over and gathered all the scattered toys, bottles, and bibs from the cushions, "Oh, yeah, sure, of course!" Watching with admiration at the way he cradled their son's small frame in his arms, laying him down gently and giving his forehead a soft kiss.

Shrugging out of his jacket, he placed it over John, "The freezer at the butcher shop went out, and Bunny closed the shop for the repairs. I had the whole weekend, so... here we are! Surprise!" Clapping his palms together, his smile widening.

Without thought, Amy sprung into him, wrapping her arms around his neck, whispering with a lilt of giddy, "I'm so happy you're here, Ricky!"

Reciprocating her excitement, Ricky's arms engulfed her waist, squeezing her tight, "Me too, Amy... me too."

They stayed wrapped up in each other for about a minute before he felt a familiar spark rising to the surface between them, and dropped his arms. She sighed sadly under her breath at the action, taking a step back slowly to give him space. Looking around, he pursed his lips together, "So, where's our little princess?"

Amy bit her lip, giving a light giggle, "Napping." Grabbing his wrist and angling it to see the watch he wore, "But she should be up pretty soo-" The low, puckered, sleepy cry of the infant down the hall, cutting her off mid-sentence, causing her to click her tongue, "Impeccable timing, Underwood."

Ricky chuckled through a smirk, shrugging smugly, "What can I say - you Juergens girls can sense my presence I guess."

Pursing her lips again, she rolled her eyes playfully, before dragging him by the arm to follow her, "Funny. Follow me - but stay behind the door, okay, I want to see her face when she sees you!"

Without protest, he happily obliged, finding a spot just out of eye level, and stood there, watching with admiration as she went into the room and picked their distressed child up, cradling her gently and swaying slowly. Emma was always a quick riser like he was, never wasting much time to be up and alert to start her day of exploring the world around her. Unlike Amy and John, who took longer, and protested more, waking up.

Ricky continued watching them, his eyes glazing over with happiness at seeing them together; how Enma clung to her mother as she hummed softly, scrunching her dark curls between her fingers to quiet the little whines escaping her lips. He loved seeing Amy getting back to the way she used to be... and the view he was given wasn't too bad either; the black yoga pants Amy was wearing hugged her curves and backside nicely under the thin pink and white t-shirt. He bit his lip at the sight, smirking at the fact that even after all that they had been through, this woman was still able to take his breath away simply by walking into a room.

He stood there, head cocked against the frame, his arms crossing his chest, just watching her. He'd just returned from his parent's house, the emergency meeting about Ethan's over-involvement in Kathy's pregnancy and adoption, being the core issue. Amy skipped out, having been dealing with extreme morning sickness for the last couple of days, while also battling some rough days at school and work. So he took John with him so Amy could have some time alone.

And there she stood in a pair of leggings and a sports bra, face painted in the green alien mask he used to tease her about, her now visible baby bump pressing against the sink as she brushed her teeth.

Leaning to spit, she jumped back against the wall, startled, "Oh my - geez, you about scared the pee out of me!"

He chuckled, eyes staying put, "Sorry"

Regaining her composure, she raised a brow at him, "What are you staring at?"

"You... and how beautiful you are." He answered, stepping into the small bathroom and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Uh-huh, sure," She scoffed with a giggle, "What about all of this -" gesturing to her appearance, "Is enticing to you?"

"Well for starters..." He whispered against her neck, placing his lips just below her earlobe, "This -" moving down to her jaw, while his hands crept up to her sports bra, "And these..."

She moaned at his touch, her hormones kicking into overdrive as she turned around and grabbed the back of his head, bringing his mouth to hers. His hands grasped her hips, helping her onto the sink and aiding her legs to wrap around his waist, driving his body more against hers. Her tongue was fighting his, craving the gentle moan from the back of his throat. "I'm not -" She gasped lowly, feeling his body start to react against hers, and putting a hand to his chest, "I'm not having sex with you on the bathroom sink!" He paused, cocking a brow at the lack of conviction behind her statement - knowing full well that she would if there wasn't a chance John would walk in. Hoping off the sink, she bit her lip seductively and told him with her eyes to meet her in the living room.

Smirking at her innuendo, he gently slapped her butt and chuckled to himself, "I've never been ridden by an alien before... this could be fun..." and followed her down the hall.

"Da-da-da!" She gurgled, pointing at something across the room.

That was his cue, walking in slowly and proclaiming excitedly, "Did someone say... 'Dada'?"

They turned in his direction, Amy's eyes widening at their daughter as she bounced her on her hip, "Who is that? Is that dada?" At first, Emma blinked a few times, not quite sure what to do, so Amy pitched her voice slightly and pointed, "Emma, look - dada! Dada is here!" That got her attention, looking quickly between her grinning parents with a puckered lip.

Ricky's smile widened, reaching for her as she nearly catapulted out of her mother's arms, "C'mere, princess!" Squeezing her tightly against his chest, "I missed you so much!" Emma squealed in delight at his peppered kisses across her cheeks and nose, the drool dribbling down her chin. Amy couldn't help but smile at the sight, savoring the joy of their much-needed reunion, and selfishly reveling in the fact that she was the only person who got to witness it, before hearing her phone chime and sighing. His brow rose, "Something wrong?"

Shaking her head, she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear that came out of her messy bun, "No... I have to go to the group in 15 minutes - but you're more than welcome to stay here if you want. I mean you did drive all this way - " Emma squeal-screamed loudly against his head, grasping his lips with her tiny fingers.

Putting his finger into his ear for a second to make sure he didn't sustain hearing damage, Ricky glanced at her, "Group is where the babies hang out, isn't it?"

She nodded, "Technically it's the daycare next door, but yeah, they all have little play dates" Taking a step closer to them and touching her hand, "Did you know your daughter has a boyfriend?"

His eyes widened at the reveal, lips parting, "Excuse me...What?"

She nodded again, both girls giggling at his response, "His name is Jamie."

Lowering his head, he wagged his finger at her, "Emma... we talked about this. No, sharing your baby puffs until you're at least in high school -"

Amy scoffed, "Ricky, she's a baby -"

Cutting her off, and touching the tip of the baby's nose, "And no giving kisses to any boys except John and Daddy!" Emma snorted at the action, grabbing his finger and thrusting it into her mouth. "Boys are very yucky - remember that." Ricky kissed her temple, chuckling at the string of gibberish baby babble she retorted before she grabbed his head with both fists and pressed a big, slobbery, opened-mouth kiss on the bottom of his jaw, the saliva drenching the collar of his red dry-fit t-shirt.. They both couldn't help but laugh, "...Apology accepted," as he handed the drenched baby back to her mother and grabbed some kind of clothing article from the floor, wiping the mess with a tiny grimace, "Go on, I got some stuff to get caught up on for class, and hopefully by the time you get back, John will be awake."

Putting her on top of the comforter, Amy got to work, quickly changing Emma's diaper and her outfit, before putting her back on her hip, "Okay. I should be back in an hour or two, I'll text you when I get ready to come up." He nodded and smiled at Amy waving Emma's little hand at him, "Bye-bye, daddy, we'll see you later!"

Making their way through the orange-painted door, she saw Mickey and Jamie by the window and walked over to them. Immediately the babies caught sight of each other and started in, babbling and squealing in delight. Mickey giggled, watching Jamie blow Emma kisses with his tiny palm, while Emma snorted through a grin and waved. Both women chuckled, Mickey putting Jamie on the playmat inside the large octagonal playpen, "You look better - that bug gone? You okay?"

Following in her lead, Amy put Emma beside Jamie, and nodded, "Yea, I feel much better actually.

Mickey nodded, but Amy couldn't help but notice her friend's demeanor, or the way her eyes looked sad. "Good."

Taking a half a step back, she crossed her arms over her chest, her voice soft, "Well if that's good, I'd hate to see what great looks like - why the long face?"

"You don't know?" Mickey raised a brow

Doing the same, "Know what?"

Looking around the room, she whispered, "Taylor left last night..."

"Wait - what?" Amy's eyes went wide, mouth slightly agape.

Mickey nodded sadly, "Yeah, apparently she got a phone call, packed up Felix and Asher, and took off. No goodbyes to anyone."

"But... she's been here since Asher was a baby why would she just leave like that?"

"Nobody knows. She told Jeanne and Traci and then just -" She paused, putting her hands in the air, "Everyone is in shock. Well, everyone who knows that is..." Trailing, she sniffled, "I just wish she would have said goodbye..."

Without hesitation, Amy wrapped her in a hug, reassuring both her friend and herself that their friend didn't abandon them on purpose, "Taylor must have been desperate to leave like that, Mickey. You know she would have said goodbye if she could have." Fighting back the tears gathering behind her eyes, "She's been talking to her mom more - maybe they finally made up and she went to see her? Or Felix and Asher's dad got back from Afghanistan?"

"... I just keep... losing people..." Mickey sobbed quietly, looking down at her son who kept his blue eyes on her.

"I know the feeling." Amy agreed, sniffling.

Pulling back from the embrace, her voice cracked, "Your mom -?"

"Nope." Shaking her head, a twinge of sadness in her tone, as she gave a half-hearted shrug, "It's for the best right now. I need to focus on myself and my kids. If she wants to be a part of that... well then... she knows where to find me." Wiping her cheeks, "But... that doesn't matter today - because I have something better!" Glancing down at her daughter whose green eyes were glued to her little best friend, Amy lightly giggled, "Ricky and John are here!" Mickey's eyes grew wide this time, her lips parting in disbelief. She nodded vigorously, almost bouncing on the balls of her feet in sheer giddy, "Yeh! Ricky had the weekend off and wanted to surprise me! They're in my apartment right now."

Linking her arm into hers, Mickey tugged her along, both waving to their children who were oblivious to their departure, "Well then what are we doing here? Let's get going so you can get back upstairs!"

When they got to the group, it wasn't the same. It was somber, and sad, everyone feeling the absence of Taylor's overabundance of extrovert energy. Jeannie had told them all why she had left - her finance was caught up in an IED - he's alive, but has some serious injuries. They flew him home yesterday and Taylor was alerted before dinnertime last night. Her mother arrived to pick them all up before midnight. She went on, Taylor was a light to them all, and her presence there will be missed, but she sends her love to all of her friends - in support of their healing journey.

Rolling the Hot Wheels around on the carpet, he huffed, frustrated at the wheels getting stuck and flipping over. He was on his stomach, trying to play with his toys while his dad typed up a paper, the place unfamiliar to him. Looking up, towards the ceiling he asked, "Daddy - wh-er is dis pw-ace?"

Without looking away from the screen, he answered, "We're in an apartment, buddy."

Rolling over onto his back, John lifted his legs and sock-covered feet into the air, "Is dis our n-ew hw-ouse?"

"No - we already have a house, remember?" Ricky chuckled under his breath, closing the lid of the computer, "This is... a friend's house."

"Is - is he jus go-in on the swuper fun ad-vencher wit us?" He looked over to him, his hair falling into his eyes.

With a slow nod, "I think so," he felt the buzzing against his thigh - Amy was on her way up. Quickly, Ricky swallowed and created a distraction, "Hey, buddy, could you go into the bathroom and find my ring? I think I left it in there," Hoping that his son didn't pay enough attention to his appearance every day to notice he no longer wore it.

Glancing around the room, John shrugged nonchalantly and scurried down the hall, "OK, Daddy!"

Not even 5 seconds later, she poked her head in slowly, "Is it clear?"

He nodded, rising off the sofa cushion to take the over-eager infant from her arms, chuckling, "Why are you whispering?" She gave him a look and put her index finger to her lips. He scoffed playfully at her, cupping his hand over Emma's tiny ear as he shouted out, "John! I found it, bud, you can come back."

Taking a step forward, she waited until the thumps of his feet got closer, leaning against the wall with a big smile on her face, "Did you find it?"

The voice startled him, momentarily freezing in his tracks before he gasped loudly and screamed with excitement, "MOMMMYYYYYY!" Catapulting into her legs with so much force she had to hold the wall to keep from falling backward.

Emma screamed too, flailing her arms and legs while blowing spit bubbles at seeing her brother. Ricky giggled, hoisting her higher on his hip, and nodding, "Yea, John is here!"

Squeezing his mom tightly in his grasp, John's eyes squinted and the grin spanned the entire width of his face, "Daddy, Daddy, Mommy is hwere!"

Putting the squirmy baby down on the blanket on the floor, Ricky nodded and stepped closer to them, running his palm over the back of his head, "I see that buddy - did you like your surprise?" John nodded vigorously, giving another, tighter, squeeze just before chicken pecking her cheek with his lips. Amy held him just as tight, ignoring the discomfort in her back at his heavier frame to shelter him in her embrace, not wanting to ever let go.

A loud, high-pitched sound erupted from the floor, her green eyes wide as she showed a big three-toothed grin, pointing aggressively up at them, "Jaajaaa!"

Wiggling out of her arms, John put his feet on the ground and quickly rushed over to his sister, cupping his arms around her body and picking her up just enough to drag her over to the sofa, using all the momentum he had to hoist her on the cushion against a throw pillow. When he got her situated, they just stared at each other, mesmerized that they actually got to be in each other's presence again. Emma blinked up at him, her eyes watery and tired, before snorting at his cross-eyed expression and lunging forward into his body, squeal-screaming with delight, and slapping her palms against him.

Caught off by her children's newfound affection for each other, Amy's brow lifted, "That's new"

Ricky did the same, chuckling softly with admiration in his eyes, "Absence definitely makes the heart grow fonder in this case."

Her heart was melting, watching them give each other kisses and makeshift hugs. She wiped a tear away, searching her pockets for her phone to document the moment. Coming up empty, she sighed, hoping they wouldn't stop before she got at least a blurry picture, "Hey can I borrow your phone? I want to get a picture of them..."

Without a second hesitation, he pulled it from his front pocket, hit the button, and placed it in her hand, "You don't have to ask." Maneuvering his arms and legs slowly with a low, animated voice over to them, "Me - Want - Tickles!" Before joining in on the fun.

She giggled happily, making sure to zoom in on the recording to capture their faces; the sheer, unadulterated bliss of having their father shower them in ticklish kisses, sending squeals and fits of shrieking giggles throughout the apartment. Filling it with happiness and love.

Amy let a tear roll down her cheek, stifling a laugh at John trying his hardest to push his dad away through the ripples of laughter coming out of his small body, and Emma chortling so much, that the saliva dripped from her mouth soaking another onesie, and the front of his shirt.

Inching her thumb over the still-image icon to take a picture from the video, the phone buzzed in her grasp, immediately showcasing a text that read, "I miss you..." She grimaced, her smile waning, swiping it aside to return to the video, before another notification came across the screen, and caused her breath to hitch in her throat.

Ricky paused their game, giving the tot a few minutes to catch his breath, and turned his head to look at her. Her brow was furrowed, an uneasy expression on her face. "Did you get some good ones?" He asked, taking a step towards her.

She nodded, but didn't look at him, instead putting the phone on the counter and fiddling with a dishrag, "Um...yeh... a few..."

Confused by the shift in her demeanor, he walked over to the counter and grabbed his phone, eager to see the smiles plastered on his children's faces. But instead, his eyes were met with the exact reason why she was beginning to shut herself down, and his face went slack. In a quick rush of frustration and guilt, he shoved the device aside and drew a long breath, "Amy, it's not -"

Putting up her hand, she shook her head, dismissing his need to apologize, "You don't have to explain to me. I know you're dating... her... I just didn't know you were doing... that -" The thought made her face twist in a disgusted expression.

His words were rushed, needing to put her assumptions to rest, "We're not! It's not like that - I have no idea why -"

"I do..." She answered lowly, her eyes lifting just enough to notice the tenseness of his jaw, "It's her warning to me."

His brow lifted slightly, "A warning for what?"

"To back off." She said it softly, a break threatening to seep through, "You're here visiting me - I can't imagine she took that well. That picture is her way of telling me you're not available." Her eyes lifted more, meeting his, "She's marking her territory..." before taking hold of a displaced orange on the counter and tossing it into a bowl with a sigh, "Message received..."

Silence took over for a brief couple of minutes between them, both unknowing of what to say to cut through the awkward tension plaguing the air. He knew she was right, and that Clementine was sabotaging his weekend on purpose: she knew what she was doing and figured sometime during their reunion, that Amy would pick up his phone and see the picture. He was disgusted by it, and couldn't help but want to throw the device into the trash, but instead promptly deleted it and opened his mouth to speak. But she beat him to it.

"I uh - I should probably get to my session... don't want to keep 'Ms. Happy All The Time' waiting..." Amy touched the base of her forehead, "You good here? I can call my dad if you want to go out for a bit?"

"I'm fine." Ricky responded, a little rougher than he wanted to, meeting her eyes as he drummed his fingers against the countertop, "Are you okay? You've been a little gloomy since you got back..."

"Am I?" He nodded, causing her to sigh, "My friend - Taylor - she left last night. Her fiance got hurt and had to be rushed back. She left in the middle of the night so no time for goodbyes..."

Taking a step forward, he touched her shoulders, "I'm sorry..." Sliding his palms down her arms gently, and roaming over her face, "What if I...went with you?"

Her lips parted just enough to show her teeth, staring up at him with surprise and a hint of unease, "Why would you do that? You came all this way for Em -"

Taking her hands, he cut her off, his voice lowering to just above a whisper as he confessed, "Not just Emma - you too. I meant what I said, I'm here for you too, Ames." Her lip tipped up at him, making the corners of his mouth lift just a bit, "I think this will be a good opportunity for us to talk - really talk about all of this. George will be okay for a couple of hours, and John has been dying to see him." Her forehead creased, mulling over the proposition in her head just as he threaded his fingers through hers, raising them to his chest, "We need this..."

"Okay..." Biting her bottom lip, she nodded and dropped her hands, poking her index finger into his chest playfully, "But you can't hold me responsible if you come back with snot and tear stains on your shirt!"

Engulfing her into his embrace, he chuckled against her hair, "It'll match the drool I have on my collar." They both laughed at that, him drawing a breath through a cocky smile, "The joys of parenthood..." She nodded at that statement, glancing at their children before squeezing herself tighter against his frame.

"Do you know how ridiculous you sound right now? I was there!" He shouted, balling his fists up on his lap as the frustration started to creep on. She was sitting beside him, a few inches of space separating them on the beige sofa. They'd been sitting there for almost an hour, delving into their relationship and the ramifications it took on everyone around them. He was defensive as her therapist went on the attack, poking holes in the fabric of their lives one question at a time.

Sniffling, she raised her head just enough to catch his eyes, "Yes, Ricky, physically you were there... but mentally and emotionally you were absent." Sighing, "Whenever I wanted to talk, you were busy, but whenever I didn't because I was overly exhausted or aggravated - you wanted me to let you in." Wiping a tear away, her voice starting to crack, "And for a time all you cared about was that we weren't having sex... you didn't understand why I didn't want to be intimate; you just felt like I was pushing you away and -"

He snapped, turning to face her, "That's not true! I knew you were having issues with how you viewed your body. I told you I didn't care about the sex - "

"But you did care, didn't you?" She cut him off, wiping another tear from her cheek, her head lowering to her fidgeting hands on her lap, sniffling, "All those times when I turned you down, you can't tell me you weren't hoping and envisioning a different outcome with... her..."

Liv cut in, tapping a pen to the notepad, "And how did you remedy the lack of intimacy?"

"Do we have to talk about this?" He retorted angrily, shaking his head at the glares he received from both women on each side of him, "What does our sex life have to do with anything?"

Ignoring him, she continued, "We had sex. A lot. Sometimes almost every night." A sob bubbled from Amy's throat, causing him to lift his eyes to her, "... but even when we were in bed together I could sense the disconnect between us... like every time we did it, we were sweeping something bigger under the rug."

"Were you happy?"

He answered quickly, "Of course we were -"

As she answered abruptly, "No." Turning to him, her lip wobbling, "You weren't happy, Ricky... and neither was I..." Another sniffle, "We were on a path to destruction - fighting all the time over everything. Stretching ourselves too thin and then blowing up at each other because of it." Her eyes lowered again, "Then she came into the fold..." her voice getting softer while she tried to keep composure, "We were cracking at the seams, and you let her drive a wedge between us! Your 'friend' that isn't so much of a friend anymore!"

Nobody spoke for several seconds until Liv crossed her arms and asked, "... When did the affair start with this friend?"

Ricky could feel the anger start to bubble in his blood at this stranger poking her head in territory he didn't want to speak about, spitting "It didn't! I've never cheated on Amy! Not then, not ever!" He took a deep breath, momentarily closing his eyes as he continued, "Nothing happened between me and Clementine. Our problems didn't stem from my friendship with her - you were the one constantly shutting me out and keeping me at arm's length while never wanting to share what you were feeling!" His accusation stung, causing her lips to part to speak, but he didn't give her the chance, "Clementine was just a friend - a friend who actually valued what I had to say and listened without rebuttal." He shook his head, his jaw clenching, "Even after she made her moves on me, and professed her love for me - I never reciprocated it. I never played into her advances, or gave her a reason to believe I'd ever go outside of my marriage." Turning in his seat, his eyes were wild, pointing at her with a hard breath, "You were plotting your escape to New York while I was pouring everything I had into trying to salvage something that was slipping through my fingertips because... you're right, Amy... I wasn't happy..."

The room turned silent, her face contorting in a mix of emotions - pain, anger, shock... relief - as she struggled against the sob trapped in her throat. His eyes were still on her, their light chocolate brown fading to a dark shade of borderline black.

"Ricky... did you ever have feelings for this friend of yours while you were with Amy?" Liv broke the silence, settling back in her chair, her glare set on him.

He took a beat to answer, mentally combing through what to say so the guilt wouldn't show. But the more he saw her cry, the guiltier he was, "... I didn't want to... but what choice did I have when the woman that I loved, didn't want to be in the same room as me?" A pause, followed by a sad sigh, "You didn't even want to kiss me some nights... you barely touched me..." his voice lowered, trying to prevent it from breaking, "We were growing apart. I knew that. I would push, and you would pull, and it just became exhausting; a chore." He couldn't stop the shaky breaths that followed, knowing now that he was guilty. This was his doing and he was lying about it. His jaw twitched slightly, the one lone tear sliding down, dripping onto his jeans as he sadly admitted, "So... yeah... I guess you could say that I had started to gather some feelings for someone who showed me affection and shared their feelings for me - but I never, ever, acted on them! Not once!" His admission, caused Amy to cry into her hands. Knowing all along the truth he sheltered beneath the surface. The hidden feelings he had harbored, but insisted weren't there. The anger he threw at her when she accused him of the exact thing he just confessed... All the nights he refused to look at her or blamed her for being a paranoid, crazy wife... made sense now. But it still didn't stop the pain of it. It didn't stop the overwhelming pain in her heart that the hope she carried was dimming with each second they were in that room.

His admission made Liv purse her lips, "And that's good... but your feelings towards this other woman, regardless if acted upon, is a form of emotional cheating." At this his eyes snapped to her, his hands starting to shake ever so slightly with anger. "Even though you never acted physically - the thought was still there. You were married to Amy, and just because SHE wasn't giving you what YOU wanted, you looked elsewhere. Intentional or not." Leaning forward, she handed Amy a tissue, "Cheating isn't just physical. Giving another woman - any woman who isn't Amy - time, attention, or making her feel as if she has a chance with you - a married man - is also a betrayal on your part - If you're committed to someone... you don't allow yourself to find perfection in someone else. Because once you do, you've crossed a line in your relationship." Taking the notepad back out, she jotted down a few lines before setting her eyes on him again and asking, "... Why did you think Amy didn't care about you or want to be around you?" His brow rose, confused. "You said she barely touched you some nights... why do you think that is?"

Ricky stared off to the side, focusing on a statue in the corner to avoid having to let his emotions show. Thankful for the drum beat filling the tension-charged silence. Taking his phone out to see who it was, he rose quickly, apologizing before stepping into the hallway, "I'm sorry... I need to take this -"

He pressed the phone to his ear, keeping a safe distance away from the closed door, "Bunny? What's up, is the freezer fixed?" Expecting the redhead to give him an answer, his eyes hardened at who actually was on the other line.

"Hey, you!" She replied, a bubbly lilt in her voice.

"How did you -" He snapped, shaking his head in disbelief and agitation, "You called me on the shop's phone? Why?"

Clementine giggled, "I picked it up when Bunny stepped out. You weren't answering any of my calls or texts... I figured you'd answer this one."

He couldn't hold back, now enraged that she deliberately was causing issues, "Are you insane? You took a naked picture and sent it to my phone - where John could have seen it!"

"Why would John have your phone?"

"He's a kid. He likes to play on it sometimes. That's not the point!" His jaw was tensing again, "That was a really stupid thing you did! I told you I was here for my kids and that I wasn't going to leave." A deep breath, running his hand through his hair and gripping it, "So do me a favor would you? Don't call me or text me for the rest of the weekend. I have a month of missed time with my baby to catch up on in just a short window of time. Don't screw it up by being jealous and clingy!" Hanging up abruptly, he had to clench and unclench his fists a few times to alleviate the surmounted rage threatening to unleash itself on the chair by the door to the stairway.

Taking two long, deep breaths, he closed his eyes and took three steps forward, putting his hand on the knob just as he heard her voice start to break.

Liv tapped her pen again, adjusting the glasses on her head, "This is a complicated thing going on between you two. You haven't spoken much about it... why?"

"What's there to say?" Amy's voice was starting to break, the tears streaking her red cheeks, "I had it all - two healthy babies, even though one was born 7 weeks early, and a man who I loved... and what did I do?" Clenching her fists, she became angry, "I threw it all away for New York! A stupid town that housed a dream I thought I wanted... and now every time I think about it, I want to scream at the sky because of what it did to me!" Her lip was quivering now, knees shaking as she fought against the memories she didn't want to relive.

Not now.

Not when he was no doubt standing outside the door.

Not when she hadn't found an opportunity to tell him a secret so massive, it would break him.

Not when things were finally going well for a change.

Not now. Soon. But not now.

Her eyes lowered, unable to see clearly through the water blurring her vision, "... I'll never be able to let him go... not fully anyway." A tear dripped down her jaw as her voice became a whisper, "Ricky was the first guy I ever slept with; the father of my children; my first real love... I -" Unable to speak through the lump in her throat, she just sobbed into her hands. Liv handed her the box of Kleenex, nodding her head slowly, sympathetic to her pain.

After a few minutes, she sniffled hard and lifted her eyes, "I know he's with someone else now... and that I screwed everything up for us... but a part of me has a sliver of hope that one day - when he stops hating me - we might be able to try again... to love each other completely again..." After her admission, she scoffed sadly and fiddled with the tissue clutched in her palm, "... listen to me... I sound like such an idiot!"

Liv shook her head quickly, reaching a hand out, "No, you don't... you're in love with him. He was everything to you - all your firsts. That kind of bond doesn't just disappear. You can't snap your fingers and expect it to dissolve away. It's painful to feel a deep connection fading. You're grieving many things - one of which is the idea of everything you thought you'd have with him, slipping away... it's a loss too..."

Shrugging her shoulders sadly, Amy let her hair fall in her face, "I ruined his life... if I had never allowed him to care about me we wouldn't -"

"Don't do that -" He stopped her, making his presence known, "Don't blame yourself. Not now, not ever." Taking a step forward, Ricky knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his. His voice was rough, the lump pressing on his vocal cords, making it hard to speak without becoming emotional, "Amy... you didn't ruin my life... you saved it." Tears slid down his right cheek, using his hand to brush her falling locks aside so he could meet her eyes, "Before I met you, I was on a path of self-destruction. Girl after girl. Ruining my own life because I hated myself." Lip starting to wobble, "Y-you - you were the one who showed me what true, unconditional love was. By you having our son and giving me a chance to change. I won't be able to ever, truly repay you for that. Or for doing it again with our baby girl. Those kids are my world, Ames... and I have you to thank for that."

She couldn't prevent the tidal wave that washed over her; the silent ripping of her heart in her chest that felt as if she would die. It was becoming too much, keeping him from knowing the truth... the real thing that brought her to that place... the thing even she refused to believe, or acknowledge because making it real would cause the box to be opened, and the unknown to creep in and swallow her. He was on his knees, professing all these things about how she saved him. About how their kids were his world... How could she tell him after that? How would he react if he knew? Would he hate her forever? Wish he never had met her. Or would he break into a million pieces and wonder why something so awful had happened to them? Would he sink into the same hole that she did? Silently pleading in the night to die because when she closed her eyes she could still see the blood dripping from her fingertips; feel the pain of her body betraying her by discarding of something she never knew about, and didn't have a chance to say goodbye to...

Shaking her head vigorously, she cupped her hand over her mouth, and sprinted out the door faster than he could register what was happening, "... E-ex-excuse m-me..."

Liv leaned back, tapping that obnoxious pen he wanted to snap in half, "... Let's just give her a minute."

Watching the door, he hung his head, "What is the point of this?" Grasping at his curls with a deep, heavy sigh, "I mean really - what is the point of trying to salvage what we have whenever we both know I'll never be enough for her?" Closing his eyes, "I'm trying to be there, and understand all of this without letting my own feelings get in the way - But the truth keeps smacking me in the face -"

"And what truth would that be?"

He took a minute to answer, standing up now and pacing the patch of carpet beneath his sneakers, "Amy had all these dreams and aspirations ahead of her. She wanted to go to Julliard and play French Horn in the orchestra... and then I came along that one night and got her pregnant..." He swallowed roughly, pinching the bridge of his nose to prevent the tears from gathering in his eyes, "... So I tried. I tried so hard to make her life easier, and give her a little bit of freedom to pursue at least part of her dreams... but then I fell in love with her... and our whole world changed again." Lowering his hands, they started to shake, his voice breaking, "Two babies; two tiny lives created and sustained by two teenagers who weren't even of drinking age yet. We had more on our plates than we could handle. And her dreams got pushed aside yet again to cater to the mess that I made..." A sniffle, "A part of me will always wonder if she truly got over her resentment towards me... because I essentially was the one who destroyed her life... and now I'm the one clawing my way from the rubble to see if there's any way we can part ways without damaging ourselves - or our two kids lives - in the process."

Liv clicked her tongue, sensing a breakthrough was coming, "Why do you feel like that? That you need to move on?"

Ricky's lips parted, "... Because I can't be what she wants..." but a sad sigh and a soft sob were all that came out, "I can't follow her around like a lost puppy, begging for an answer when I'll see her next... kiss her next... feel her next..." Another sniffle, "If I allow myself to keep putting my heart on the line, just for it to be smashed... I'll die before I even hit 30. And then my children will be left alone."

Putting the notepad aside, she raised her brow at him, "Ricky... do you think Amy loves you? I mean, truly loves you?" He didn't speak, just wiped his cheeks with the back of his palms, staring off into the distance. "It's obvious you still love her, and I don't believe that'll ever change - especially given how vulnerable you're being... and the way you look at each other... there's still something there." His gaze shifted, now to her. "Going back to your earlier question - what does your sex life have to do with this... It has a great deal to do with it. You obviously keep sleeping together because there is a deep, connected, bond there. Sex is the way to keep hitting at that connection; burying the underlying heartbreak associated with being apart... When you have sex with each other, you fall back into the pattern of feelings before things went bad. You feel loved by the other again... which is why it's so hard to stop." Her tone softened, pointing to the closed door, "Amy is grieving for a lot right now, but she will get better. It's just going to take time -"

As if on cue, she walked back in, her eyes a red and puffy mess. Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her, whispering into her ear, "You okay?"

Gripping his shoulders, Amy nodded against his shirt, "Yeh..." a sad, weak chuckle followed, "I told you, didn't I?"

He returned it, "You did." Drawing back slightly, their eyes met, searching to find something they both couldn't place. Understanding? Sympathy? Anger? Love? He put the pad of his thumb to her cheek, brushing away the lone tears on her jaw, "... but really - are you okay, Amy?" Closing her eyes, she fell apart; a deep sob causing her body to shake violently in his arms. "Shhh, it's okay..." He soothed, holding her tighter, and planting soft kisses on her hair, "I'm right here, Ames. I'm not going anywhere..."

"Ah, this is great! Who knew this place delivered!" He cheered through a mouthful of his sandwich, letting the sauce drip down his fingers onto the napkin on his plate.

They had just reentered the apartment, their hands intertwined but quickly falling to their sides upon seeing her dad smacking his lips, and their son's wide, and curious eyes. She coughed to break the awkward staring, stepping past him, "I'm going to go use the restroom."

Silently, he took a seat next to George, only slightly grimacing at the remnants of his dinner splayed across his mouth. Watching him, he took one last bite, "So?"

"So?" Ricky repeated, pursing his lips, "This is a nice place...

George rolled his eyes, "Quit stalling - How did it go?"

Looking at the table, Ricky sighed, "It went..." tracing an imagery pattern into it, "George... do you think Amy is progressing... you know in her treatment?"

Furrowing his brow, he thought for a second, picking up the sandwich again, "I don't know... but what I do know is that I haven't seen her this determined at something since she started the French Horn. She's striving so hard to be better - better for John and Emma... and you..." Ricky nodded, glancing down at his hands, and the way his finger kept touching the space where his ring used to be. "The progress she has made in just this short amount of time speaks volumes to how much she wants to get back on track, and back to herself... and her life." Tossing the crumpled napkin onto the plate, George puffed out his chest and expelled a belch, "I'm probably gonna pay for that later - but it was so worth it!" Paying no attention to the the literal disgust playing on his ex-son-in-laws face, he slapped his palms together, discarded his trash, tousled his hair, "See you later little man" and headed out the door.

She came back a moment later, slightly confused by her dad's exit, and raised a brow at him. He stayed silent, but held the white bag next to his hand, out to her. "Thanks - I'm starving" Amy took the seat her dad had vacated, keeping her focus on the pulled pork sandwich bursting out of its thin paper wrapping, and taking a slow bite, her eyes closing in bliss, "... Wow that is amazing." Her small moan made John's curiosity heighten, raising his head from the carpet before scurrying over to the table and opening his mouth for a bite. With a giggle, she put it to his mouth and watched as his eyes widened, "It's good, huh?" He nodded vigorously, waiting for another bite.

A fussy whiny cry erupted from the other side of the room, the infant pressing her palms into the carpet with a puckered lip. Putting his own dinner down, Ricky chuckled, "What's the matter? You feel a little left out over there?" Her response was another whiny cry, lifting one hand up and outstretching it towards him. Mid-bite, John quickly hopped over, wrapping his arms tight around her and hoisting her up to bring her to their father. Taking her quickly, Ricky tousled his hair and scoffed playfully at Emma's immediate reaching for his food; breaking off a tiny piece with his fingers and guiding it into her mouth. They both watched with a laugh at the way her eyes squinted, and her face contorted; the sour and odd new flavors penetrating her pallet before her breath quickened, and an impatient little shriek was released, eagerly lunging for more.

"So what do you usually do around here?" Ricky asked, pinching off pieces and giving them to her, "Seems pretty quiet - not many places around."

"Um, we usually just all hang out in the rec center, or up in our apartments." Amy took a bite, covering her mouth with her hand, "There's an ice cream shop up the road from here, and Taylor wanted to take the kids to the zoo -"

"I wan-na go to the zoo!" John piped excitedly, a smile creeping onto his face.

Emma shrieked again, slamming her messy hands on the table. He raised his brow at the boy, "Why? How do you know about the zoo?"

Taking a seat on his mother's lap, he started to sway, "Cuz Ms Bwook jus te-eched it to me!" A chicken finger from the bag nestled in his palm as he peered up at her, "Dey hav twi-gers, and lw-ions, rw-ight, Mommy?"

Amy nodded, taking a sip from the beverage on the table, glancing over to him, "It could be fun?"

Handing her another piece, "Yeah, or it could be a total disaster..." Ricky sighed, "These two - at the zoo - you sure you're ready for that?"

She shrugged, "The waterpark wasn't so bad... until..."

"I acted like a total ass -" He finished, pursing his lips, "You can say it, Amy. I'm over it."

Nodding, "Yes. Fine. You acted like a total ass." She giggled at the faces their son was making at his little sister, "Don't you think it'll be fun though? I haven't gone to the zoo since I was a kid. What about you?"

He shook his head, "Never went. Never had a reason to."

"What about school?"

"Most of the schools I went to were low-budget dumps who didn't have enough desks for the students, let alone busses to charter them places." Taking a bite himself, "Once I lived with a few of the fosters who took me in, I got to go to the nicer schools."

She smiled at him, touching his arm, "Including Grant."

He smiled back, nodding, "Yeah, including Grant." Blowing out a breath from his cheeks, and relenting a minute later, "Alright fine... we can go to the zoo tomorrow."

John's hands immediately shot up above his head, clapping, "Yayyyy!"

"Is th-is jus the zoo, Mommy?" He questioned, following her lead in the tall grass while trying to keep his grasp on her hand.

She shook her head, pausing when they reached a wooden fence, "No, buddy, this -" she shook his hand in hers, "Is Peanut butter."

A brown-beige American Quarter horse stood before them, sheltered behind the 4-foot wooden gate surrounding the rest of the acreage. The sun was setting, casting a shadow on its figure by the tree; its light brown eyes becoming darker as it peered up at them.

"A horsey!" John shrieked happily, standing on his tip-toes to get a better look.

Amy giggled, hoisting him onto the small crate by the fence to get closer, "Yeah, she's a therapy horse. She helps out a lot of the people here." Slowly, he put his hand out, afraid the horse would attack him if he got too close. She nodded at him, "You can touch her, just be gentle." Guiding his hand along Peanut Butter's long nose, the horse's breathing steadied, accepting the touch, "She likes you."

He giggled, patting gently, "Pee-nut bwut-ter is a nice horsey."

Several minutes had passed, and mesmerized by the gentle creature, he hadn't noticed she had taken a few steps back, her hands over her face as her body shook. She was crying. Taking his hand off Peanut Butter, John lifted his eyes up, softly asking, "Why you jus cwy-ing, mommy...?"

Unable to hold back, Amy let the tears roll down her cheeks and met his worried eyes, putting her hands on his face, "... because I'm so happy you're here, buddy."

Without a word, he wrapped his arms around her neck tightly, "Me too..." Blinking a few times against her hair, he sniffled, "Mommy... Is - is the doc-twors h-elp you get bet-ter?"

She kissed the side of his head with a nod, "They are. But I'll always be a little sad because I'm away from you." Letting him wrap his legs around her waist, she sniffled, "Emma is one thing, she's helping mommy too, but you're my first baby, John..." Hugging him tighter against her frame, his shoes dangling behind her back, "We grew up together. You made me a mommy, and I'll always have an ache in my heart whenever I can't hold you." She cried into his shirt, running her fingers along the back of his head, "But I know you're with daddy, and that you're becoming an independent big boy -" Sighing, "I just wish I had more time..." She swallowed roughly, closing her eyes "If I could go back and do it again, I'd -"

He pulled back enough to look at her, using his toddler-sized hands to brush the tears off her cheeks, whispering, "You can cwy... mommy..." and planting a kiss on her forehead, "Daddy s-ays we - we c-an be sad..." He kissed her again, "Daddy is sad too cuz Em-mas not hw-ome..." A tiny pain pierced through her hearing their son say that. It wasn't ideal, their situation. She didn't want it either. She wanted nothing more than to be a family again; a happy, loving family under the same roof, having dance parties, and movie nights while their children giggled over tickle attacks and fought over toys. She craved that.

But instead, the reality of the situation smacked her in the face. She had left, and blown up their happy lives. She let her issues fester until she was forced to come to terms with needing help. And in the process their kids were subjected to arguments, slamming doors, raised voices, and separation.

Ricky moved on with someone else. And she was trying to make herself better for herself now.

She just wished she believed it.

"But doesn't daddy have Clementine?" Amy asked after a beat, watching his demeanor change in one quick blink.

"Dey jus fw-ight all da ti-me!" John answered harshly, brow furrowing, as he angrily growled, "Me do-nt wike Temn-tine!" The brim of his eyes started to brim with tears, lip wobbling, "I wan-t you jus come hw-ome, mommy..."

Grasping him tighter, she kissed his neck, burying her nose in his shoulder, as she choked, "... Soon baby... I'm coming home soon."

"Hey, you two - have fun?" He smiled as they walked through the door. John jumped into the room like a frog, making her cackle as she kept her grasp on both his index fingers to prevent her from falling forward.

"Uh-huh! Mommy has a horsey! Her n-ame is pee-nut bwut-ter!" He grinned, sticking his tongue out at her.

Emma squealed, moving her feet quickly to get to him, their dad taking matched steps and keeping her balanced, chuckling, "Funny - that's what I wanted to name you."

Scrunching his nose, John made a face and promptly rebutted, "Nuh-uh!" Tucking his hands under his sister's arms to take her from their dad's grasp.

Helping him adjust her weight against his body, Ricky looked up at Amy wiping her left eye with her finger quickly. "You okay?"

Nodding, Amy sniffled and offered a sweet smile, "I love seeing this -" gesturing to the two, their son giggling at their daughter poking his face with a snort. "Seeing them... happy..." She sniffled again, laughing at how ridiculous she was being, and about to be, "Do you... do you think you could stay a little bit longer?" She asked hesitantly, shifting her feet, "It's just that - they're having a good time, and I... I don't know... it's nice having you here..."

He smiled at her, his dimples showing, "It's nice being here." Taking a step forward, "You want me to stay? Don't you want to have some time for yourself?"

"No." She replied quickly, swallowing, "I mean I do, but -" pursing her lips, "I want them to have as much time together as they can." He nodded at that, taking another step forward. "So will you stay? We can put on a movie and make snacks, or just play with them?" Looking at their children now on the sofa together, "You can sleep on the couch, or you can take my bed and I'll sleep out here..." Another step forward until he was just mere inches from her, his eyes scanning hers before impulsively leaning forward and brushing his lips to hers. The action took them both by surprise, but before they broke away, he felt her reciprocate the kiss; lingering in it a few seconds longer than she should have.

Amy's eyes met his, a softness in them, "So will you stay?"

Brushing her bottom lip with the pad of his thumb, Ricky nodded and tipped his lip up, "Of course I will. I'll do anything for you..." This time, she initiated it; her lips smashing into his until a squeaky little squeal broke them apart - their children's eyes staring directly at them.

"I think I should start that movie now..." She started biting her lip. He hesitated, dropping his hands, trying to hide the smirk at her nod and the blush of her cheeks as she went to join their kids on the couch, her gaze at him flirty.

;) Stay tuned...