A/N: Wow, I can't believe I managed to get this up with everything that's going on. Anyway, this chapter was a bit annoying for me - I was quite fond of the original version before it got deleted, but when I rewrote it I couldn't seem to get the quality as high as it used to be...Still, I think it's acceptable and gets all the appropriate points across.
Also, thank you to those of you who reviewed! One of you asked whether Rai is weaponless - it's true that he currently does not use a weapon. However, it's probably not going to stay that way, although I won't give away anything else.
I hope you enjoy!
Rai rested his back against the nearby tree and kept his eyes closed. One part of his mind was probing, searching around him for the slightest changes in mana. After all, he couldn't afford to be ambushed by some monster and be killed - it would be an especially ridiculous way for his plan to be foiled.
All the other parts were directed inward, occupied with various issues. In one corner of his mind, he pondered the odd memories of another childhood; in another, he analyzed the possibilities for his next, specific move; and in yet a third several opposing thoughts were locked into battle over the optimal way to join the Journey of Regeneration (without seeming suspicious, but that was a minor bonus).
The aforementioned first part was enveloped in memory. Memory of a time when he had been - Rai could explain it no other way - decidedly human. But it was more than that. Not only had he lacked pointed ears and magical power, there had been no mana in his body - actually, no mana anywhere. The air had been empty, dry, and stifling. Or maybe that was because he hadn't been able to sense mana?
It made sense, though, as he had concluded years ago, that there would at least be limited mana, because of the prevalence of what seemed to be magitechnology. Although from his memories, it didn't seem that it had been called magitechnology (technology, yes, but "magi" didn't seem to be in the picture, regardless of how much Rai had racked his brain searching for it). Not only that - if Rai's not being a half-elf hadn't been strange enough - he had looked different too. In short, he had been an entirely different person. With black hair, rounded human ears, and dark brown eyes, to be exact.
If the prevalence of magitechnology, or rather technology, had been the only thing he remembered (which it had been, for some years) he would have thought these memories were simply memories of his time up there, with Father, where there had definitely been plenty of magitechnology (although also plenty of mana, and Rai had been decidedly half-elven then).
But with all the major factors taken together, along with some other memories of things that just shouldn't be possible, and the fact that he remembered that there wasn't magic in that time -
Rai could only conclude that his memories were of another - specifically, a past - life.
Don't remember it, whispered a voice in his mind. It won't do you any good. Rai only scoffed. Even a two-year old knew that the past was important.
But, well...a "past life" wasn't technically the only conclusion. It was just the only one he was willing to accept. Even accepting that one was difficult, because he then also had to also accept unprovable concepts such as the idea of a soul being reborn, possibly multiple times. In different worlds, no less. And the other options, which included the possibilities of Rai being absolutely crazy, were not pleasant to think about.
There had been one other possibility which he had actually considered for some years, though. This was the idea that Father or another member of Cruxis had implanted such false memories into Rai's brain permanently (though he was unsure that it was possible) using magitechnology or some other art. But there was one thing he had eventually remembered which was so astonishing and ridiculous, he had been quite convinced that maybe he really was quite mad.
And that was the existence of a certain screen in the other world - a 'television' screen to be more exact - it had taken him years to finally remember those two terms -
A screen which had displayed a story, one that Rai had been able to indirectly influence by holding some kind of device that allowed him to remotely take control of characters inside the screen.
And not only that, but the characters inside the screen - and the world they lived in - were both very familiar. In fact, it seemed it had been the same world Rai was living in now.
Which was completely impossible. (Or so Rai had thought, but now he was starting to believe it; so far events occuring in real life - this life - matched exactly his memories of that simulation, if that was what it had been - )
And that was when he'd realized that if he didn't go with a certain conclusion for the sake of peace of mind, he probably would go mad after all. So he'd decided he'd go with the theory that these were memories of a previous life, and that screen had showed this world and what would happen in it, and that it was accurate.
He'd stick with that until and unless it was somehow disproved.
Then, under the assumption that what had occurred in that simulation would accurately predict what would happen in Rai's life now, there were certain things he knew.
The problem was, he only had limited memories of his...previous life...although it seemed that they slowly increased. Rai had theorized that as he grew up, more and more memories were unlocked - since he was fourteen now, he thought he vaguely remembered what had happened up until the age of fourteen in that other world. This meant there were many things that he still didn't know.
However, one of the earliest things he had deduced was who Father was. More precisely - he could identify one of the characters in that simulation to have been Father.
And through more deduction, he had realized that the unknown organization he had been raised in was none other than Cruxis, the very organization that kept this false system of regeneration going to keep the balance between the two worlds. ...If his memories were to be believed.
He remembered the story as the characters had embarked on the Journey of Regeneration - the very Journey that would soon be starting - and could remember most of the details all the way up to the Tower of Salvation. He remembered the group discovering Tethe'alla, realizing there that Cruxis was not quite so benevolent as it seemed, and then almost being killed until they were rescued by a group of people that seemed to be Desians but weren't (but for the life of him Rai couldn't seem to remember what they had been called). After that, he remembered next to nothing. Yet.
Something from the little Rai did remember, though, was that the group had eventually traveled to Tethe'alla. And more importantly, he remembered the leader of Cruxis.
Mithos.
Mithos "the Hero", as Genis had earlier termed him in class.
It was one of the things that his mind refused to forget, although without knowledge of the rest of the journey, some of it seemed nonsensical.
It seemed Mithos the Hero was not only a half-elf (imagine that), but also now the leader of Cruxis. And mastermind of a scheme that would make everyone the same. A scheme meant to eliminate discrimination.
More interestingly, Rai could identify with that point of view. That was a little strange to him, considering that Mithos had been the enemy, was the enemy, considering what he was doing by stopping the development of magitechnology and knowledge. This, Rai definitely objected to - how could someone even think of sabotaging the advancement of science like that...?
And so Rai had endeavored that he would arrange for himself to go along on the Journey. Both so he could see if his theory about his memories was true and also so he could pull some strings. And to possibly find out the details of Mithos's plan. And because he didn't particularly want to sit around in Iselia for the next few years and wait around, wondering if it had really gone the way it was supposed to.
Not only that - he had another theory. Since he himself had not existed in the simulation as he remembered it, his mere presence could change things. At the very least he should go on the Journey - that way he would have the ability to at least try to steer things in the right direction, whatever he deemed that direction to be. At any rate, staying behind in Iselia would not be particularly helpful. And the world being destroyed wasn't a desirable outcome, since that would of course result in Rai's death.
It was with this in mind that he had gotten himself exiled from the village - it paved the way to his first plan to get himself taken along on the journey.
Rai sighed and lay back in the grass, blinking up at the treetops. Sometimes his mind felt so abuzz with activity that he wished he could just...turn it off temporarily, have a moment of peace. Having pondered Mithos a few minutes ago, some part of his thoughts couldn't help to return to that, wondering about Mithos's motivations and what made them so bad. After all, it seemed like maybe Mithos could be reasoned with, despite probably being insane. All he wanted was a world free of discrimination and to have his sister back - if Rai could come up with a way to achieve those goals without this accursed cycle of Regeneration...
Still, the age of lifeless beings didn't sound entirely bad - if you were the one leading it, and didn't become lifeless yourself. There was something to be said for being assured in your knowledge of how the world worked, being able to predict any outcome, being perfectly in control.
Rai grinned suddenly. ...Yes, this journey might turn out to be a lot of fun after all.
...
When Raine cautiously entered the clearing where she had agreed to meet Rai, her adopted brother was reclining against a large tree, his eyes closed and his breathing relaxed. She heard the subtle change in its cadence and knew that he had sensed her presence, and a moment later he spoke.
"So you've arrived. Please, feel free to have a seat. I'm sure you have much to ask me." It was a thinly veiled jab at her suspicions concerning his motives, and they both knew it.
She strode forward and folded her legs under her so that she was seated beside him in front of the tall oak. He seemed utterly relaxed, almost as if asleep, his long legs stretched out in front of him and his head tipped back. He was dressed in his usual sleeveless black half-shirt, which exposed the pale skin of his navel. She had yet to find out why he dressed in such an unorthodox way, but she found it hard to believe that he didn't have a reason. This was Rai she was talking about, after all.
After waiting in silence for a time, it became clear that Rai was not going to say anything more, so she asked quietly, "Are you all right?"
Rai finally opened his eyes, and she was only half surprised to see them flash with something between amusement and annoyance. "Do you really care?" he asked. Although his tone was derisive, there was something more to it - as if at least a part of him honestly wanted to know.
"Of course I do," she responded, although she knew he wouldn't believe her. She kept her own annoyance out of her tone. By taking this avenue, he had neatly evaded her next move; there was no way she could reasonably ask about his possible ulterior motives for saving Genis now, not without being accused - and rightfully so - of favoritism. She had no choice but to move on. "What did you wish to discuss?"
An odd look passed across her brother's face for a moment. She wasn't sure if it was hurt, confusion, or apprehension; possibly a mixture of the three, but before she could decide, the lapse was over and his gaze was as inscrutable as always. "It concerns the Journey of Regeneration," he said finally.
She studied him, not giving him a response, and after a few more moments of silence he continued.
"Although I am aware this was almost certainly not in the original plan, it makes the most logical sense for Lloyd, Genis, and I to come along on the Journey." There was a faint note of defeat in his tone, so subtle that Raine would not have noticed but for her already aroused suspicion.
"Because it would be safer than being on your own, without the protection of the village," she finished for him. Then, before she could stop herself, she added, "So this is why you - "
The faintest of smiles graced Rai's face. "Of course you, with your intellect, would have noticed. Yes, my dear sister, you are correct. I planned to be exiled for this very reason - I wished from the beginning to come along on the Journey. I wouldn't be admitting this now but for a simple fact: your knowing my reasoning is not grounds to leave me behind, naturally."
"Of course." She sighed and leaned back against the tree. So he'd planned to come along on the Journey, but she doubted he'd give away his reasons.
After a short pause, she added, "You haven't fooled me, though. I know that wasn't your only reason for doing it. You wanted to spare Genis."
He looked taken aback for a moment, and as she had expected, a slightly defensive look flashed across his face before his expression was wiped clean. He smiled again and raised both palms in surrender. "You've caught me. Who could blame me, wanting to save my cute little brother?"
Raine narrowed her eyes at him. She knew, from the way he was trying to conceal his expression, that he didn't really believe what he was saying. Yet she also believed that he truly did care about Genis. Was it that he refused to admit that even to himself, and yet wanted her to think the opposite?
These mind games got tiring sometimes, she conceded, even when played with her little brother. He was admittedly quite brilliant, at least as much as she'd been at his age, but was also certainly lacking in the emotional department.
Rai's voice broke into her thoughts. "Continue staring at me that way and I might think you suspect me of something," he said lightly, jokingly. She wondered why he bothered to keep up the pretense when he knew that she knew he knew they were both pretending.
She laughed. "Far from it, of course. So was that all you wanted to talk about? I see your point about the Journey, of course. You and Lloyd have been banished, and due to your half-elf status you may be targeted by the Desians. As for Genis, he would likely be in danger if he stayed because the villagers have only been temporarily dissuaded; it is likely he will still face some difficulty, and if his identity is exposed more definitely he might be exiled as well, on his own this time."
Rai was smiling again. "Precisely. I wonder at how easily you mirror my thoughts, sister. I would add to that the fact that Genis is an accomplished mage - more so than myself, in all honesty. It is actually likely that I will need more protection than Genis." She didn't miss the slight, bitter edge to his voice here.
"That may be true," she conceded. "So is there anything else you wished to confide in me?"
"There is." Rai's expression turned serious. "I plan to obtain some exspheres from the Desian ranch by posing as a Desian. They will aid us greatly in fighting. I have already mentioned it to Lloyd; he can convince Dirk to make some key crests for safer use."
Raine felt a jolt of surprise. This she had not expected. "It's unlike you to do something so dangerous. What exactly are the capabilities of these exspheres? And how do you know of them?"
Rai actually laughed, to her chagrin. "I'm sorry, it's just that I completely forgot I hadn't mentioned it to you before. I heard about them from...Dirk, but you may also have noticed that Lloyd has one; it's the gem on his hand, although he tries to keep it covered up. At any rate, although I don't know too much about them - "
Did she hear a hint of sarcasm in his voice, or was her mind playing tricks on her?
" - I do know they are gems that grant their wearer certain powers - or that is to say, they bring out one's innate power. To put it simply, they appear to ease the flow of mana through one's body, so that spellcasters' magic becomes stronger and even humans obtain the ability to use their own mana in a limited way. That is why Lloyd is able to pull off such impossible-looking sword techniques and jumps."
Despite herself, Raine was fascinated. "I see. I would certainly like to study them more. And the key crests you mentioned?"
"Well, as you might imagine, something so useful comes with a price. If an exsphere is equipped on the naked skin without any control mechanism, it eventually pulls one's mana out of equilibrium and ends up destabilizing it. You can imagine the result."
Raine shuddered. If Rai was right, such warping of a body's mana would be devastating. Survival for a sustained time would be difficult, and certainly the physical equilibrium would become warped in a way analogous to the mana. "...In short, one would become a monster..."
She hadn't realized she'd spoken aloud until Rai replied. "Exactly. That's why it's so important to use a key crest to tailor the exsphere, control it so that it meshes properly with the body's mana. Dirk is able to create these with the proper materials. However, I mean to try to find exspheres already equipped with key crests, if possible. Dirk's skills will be a last resort."
She found herself nodding as he spoke. "That is certainly wise. I probably should warn you against going, but on the contrary, I must ask..." Her cheeks colored at his knowing grin, but she plunged on: "...will you find one for me as well?"
...
The imposing structure of the Desian human ranch loomed far up, its sharp edges cutting the sun's arc neatly in half. Its construction was analogous to its dark purpose - menacing, gloomy, and composed of heavy grey brick.
Rai hated the sight of it, but not for the reason most villagers probably would. He hated it for being a pawn of an organization, in place only to propagate an endless pendulum of decline and ascendance. He hated it for deceiving well-meaning half-elves into gambling away their lives for, in the greater scheme of things, absolutely nothing at all. And yet he relished what he was about to do now.
Not only would it be a good mental exercise in acting and quick thinking, but it would also serve as a good opportunity to gather more information about the Desians, both to obtain new facts and to confirm those he knew from his memories. In fact, the promise of incoming information was almost seductive enough to wrench his mind away from his encounter with Raine earlier that day - almost.
Raine. He realized his fists had clenched without his realizing it and forced himself to relax. She was too smart for his liking. Genis was intelligent, sure, but certainly not a huge threat to anything Rai was planning - not yet, at least. But his older sister was a whole different matter.
Remembering the way her sharp eyes had seemed to pierce into him still made him prickle with unease. Why did she seem to be able to read him so easily? Not only that, but she had easily outmaneuvered him throughout their conversation. Never had she made a single misstep - it was always Rai who had to laugh and joke to cover up his unease, always Rai who had to direct the conversation away from his weaknesses.
Thinking about it was causing the familiar anger to bubble up again. Rai forcibly quashed it down, ignoring the snide voice snickering at the back of his mind, and directed his mind back to the ranch and his mission. He needed to pull this off perfectly, both to achieve his goal as efficiently as possible and to prove to himself that he was still capable.
That's assuming you can, said the voice. Rai ignored it.
A few minutes later he had snagged a disguise by assaulting an unsuspecting Desian on patrol. Although Rai was only two years older than Genis, he was taller, having already reached about the same height as Lloyd. This meant that despite still being considerably short for a male, it hadn't been too difficult to find a Desian about his height. The clothes were ill-fitting, but not suspiciously so.
He had reluctantly left his usual clothing behind a boulder. He would have to be careful in the Desian uniform; his magic could be weakened. He'd found that it was easier to channel his magic with as much of his upper body exposed as possible. Since he called upon his magic from the mana core in his chest, it was much easier to manipulate and unleash that power without all the layers of cloth in the way.
Now that he came to think of it, though, the difference in power would likely be relatively minimal now. When he had first dabbled in magic, it had made a significant difference, but now that he was more practiced he doubted it would be a problem. Still, he had gotten into the habit of his usual clothes; this uniform felt fairly stifling in comparison.
He was jerked out of his thoughts by a voice and realized that he'd reached the entrance to the ranch. "Returning from patrol?" the Desian asked, sounding friendly. Rai kept his surprise from showing on his face. It was the same man who had escorted Genis back to the village. At least, he thought it was, judging from the voice and what little of his face was visible.
"Do you happen to know what time it is?" he asked, avoiding the question. He faked a yawn and added, "I may have lost track..."
"It's a couple of hours until sunrise," the Desian supplied, then glanced at him curiously. "I haven't seen you before...new recruit?"
"Yeah, I guess you can say that. You've heard of the transfers recently, right?" It was a bit of a shot in the dark, but one he could easily talk his way out of if need be.
The Desian's face brightened. "I have, actually. From the Asgard Ranch, huh? Well, we could certainly need the extra help."
"Yeah, so I heard. Tough time, huh?" Rai made his expression commiserating.
The Desian shook his head. "You have no idea. Lord Forcystus is really cracking down lately." He looked around and lowered his voice slightly. "Ever heard of the Angelus Project?"
Rai tried to hide his interest. "Has something to do with making a stronger exsphere of some sort, am I right?"
"Yeah, that's it. What most don't know is that it was here that the prototype for it was lost. A female host body made away with it, and then, well, there was a huge scandal..." He sounded slightly nervous. "Anyway, it seems like Lord Forcystus got some sort of tip-off about it, because he seems to think somebody in Iselia has it. You know what happens next..."
A tip-off? Was this supposed to happen? Rai pushed away his disquiet and replied, "So the reinforcements are to comb Iselia for the exsphere, then?"
"Yeah, well...if we don't find it, the village probably won't fare well. Of course, we can't destroy it entirely with our current quotas, but..."
"Makes sense." Rai paused. "When do you think we'll be doing the raid, then?" he asked casually. "I'm curious to see Iselia."
"Probably not until next week," the Desian admitted in a low voice, "because we're busy with the...you know."
No, I don't know. "Ah - right, how could I forget," he said lightly. "By the way, may I ask your name?"
"Ah, sorry! Forgot my manners for a moment!" The Desian chuckled and held out his hand. "I'm Alai. You?"
"Yuu," he lied, taking Alai's hand firmly. "Short for Yuusuke. At any rate, sorry to cut you off, but I really should be reporting...ah, and could you tell me where the equipment room is?"
As he walked further into the ranch, footsteps echoing in the near-silence, he saw very few Desians awake. He'd gotten enough information for now, anyway - better find the stock room and hope there would be some key crests there. He hadn't dared ask directly for what he was looking for, lest Alai become suspicious.
To his relief, when he entered the supply room using the card he'd filched from the Desian outside, he found that not only was there no additional security (understandably, since there wasn't much of that much importance) but that there were four or five key crests along with a stock of exspheres tucked into a back corner. He swiped a good number of them into a front pocket and turned to leave, his mind now on what Alai had said earlier. Iselia would be harassed for the sake of finding Lloyd's exsphere - but it couldn't be found, as both Lloyd and the exsphere would be long gone by that time if it was true that the 'raid' wouldn't be until next week. They would be leaving the day after tomorrow, most likely. The Desian had implied that the village might be attacked if the jewel wasn't found - ...
He frowned in annoyance. He knew that most other people would feel like they had to help, or somehow warn the village, but there wasn't really much he could do short of turning in Lloyd or having him give up the exsphere, both of which were out of the question. Would it really matter that much if he just left Iselia to its fate? Alai had even specifically mentioned that because of the quotas they wouldn't be able to outright destroy the village. Iselia hadn't broken the non-aggression treaty this time, after all. It shouldn't affect the Journey of Regeneration, and since Dirk lived outside of the village he likely wouldn't be affected either - not to mention that he was a dwarf and could probably escape to one of the underground cities if he really needed to. Even if he tried to warn the villagers, they probably wouldn't believe him - and assuming they somehow did, what could they even do against the Desians?
It was in his best interest to do nothing. So why did he feel so uneasy?