A/N: This chapter is part of two halves; the second part will be up shortly. Shout-out to Keko-the-Hybrid for her (or his?) review of chapter five.

Warning: The first scene may be disturbing, though I don't think it qualifies as M material since I purposely tried to make it non-graphic. Still, read at your own discretion.

Also, I'm a bit unsure of the formatting for this one. If the italics in the initial scene bother anyone, please let me know. It's relatively short, so hopefully it shouldn't be too off-putting.

The room was dark and the fear as suffocating as the thick stench of cheap alcohol that permeated the air. Some combination of these factors paralyzed his limbs and it was as if he were wading through blood. Despite the frantic racing of his mind, he...

He let it happen, as he had countless times before.

It was his fault...

No, it wasn't, it wasn't, he couldn't believe that, it couldn't be true...but he could no longer even remember why he had been so intent on believing that...
As the golf club came down hard over his shoulder, something cracked and he barely bit back the involuntary whimper. If he made any noise, the situation would only worsen exponentially. This he knew from painful past experiences.

please
no
stop

But as it always did, the sensations started to dull, like there was a disconnect between him and his body, like the boy being hurt was someone else, not him. He could almost imagine that this wasn't really happening. He no longer processed the monster's cursing and screaming, and nor was he keeping track of the unspeakable, but he was snapped out of his trance by a hard blow to the face that knocked him back several feet. His vision went white and red and the world spun so much that he barely knew which way was up. For a moment he forgot where he was.

"Answer when I talk you, boy!" the man bellowed in heavily accented speech, and it was only then that the boy realized he must have been asked a question. The sudden dread made him sick. He was fairly certain of what the question had been, but he didn't need to guess; the man was now repeating it.

why did you kill your mother
killed her
all your fault
murderer
filth

Words escaped him against his will. A broken sob. "I - I didn - "

The words died in his mouth as he collapsed under the ensuing blow, breathing heavily. No matter how much he just wanted this to, he wanted it to stopstopstop please no -

But he couldn't bring himself to admit something like that, even to himself.

...Especially...to himself...

"Wrong answer!"

"Please tell me the correct answer then, sir," the boy managed weakly. That earned him another blow, but the man answered him.

"You hated her, hated that she loved me more than you, so you murdered her."

murdered her

I'm only ten years old, he wanted to protest. I wasn't even there when she died. But he didn't dare.

Fury like never before filled him. It was a welcome respite from the horrified resignation and self-loathing he usually knew. This was wrong, what this man was doing was wrong, and the boy hated him for it. He wanted the man gone, he wasn't even a man, just an animal, just filth that deserved to die -

The resolution was empowering, different from the helplessness of being beaten and accused. The man turned to leave -

Either I'll die or he will.

the club dropping from his hand -

I don't care if it's both of us

reaching for a bottle of beer on the shelf -

DIE

Screaming, screaming. The boy didn't know who, maybe it was him, in his mind, or out loud, or the man-animal was screaming, or it was just everybody. But the warm red on his hands was real, it was spread all over, and the screaming was gone now, the beast was finally quiet

gone
dead
where he can't feel pain anymore...

The boy realized finally what he had done wrong.

Non-violence - holding back? It was utter bullshit, he thought as he repeatedly drove the end of the club into the beast's skull, that would only get you killed. Killing? Stupid as well, then they couldn't even feel any of the pain they deserved, what was the point? Giving them an out?

What a failure he really was.

The animal was a bloody mess on the floor now. Just a broken corpse, nothing more. The skull bashed in so horribly that its contents were visible.

This was what had been allowed to hurt him.

He had to be better than this. He had to be perfect, figure out the key to get people do what he wanted.

Only then could he put his enemies in the worst thing of all - a living hell.

The necklace lay on the table, finally completed. Lloyd let out a sigh of relief, glancing at the rays of early morning sun filtering through his window. He'd finished it in time for Colette's birthday; now he just had to give it to her, although it was less of an emergency now. After all, he knew for sure he was going along with her on the Journey. Surprisingly, it had been Rai who had convinced the Professor to let him come along. Although the half-elf hadn't mentioned why, Lloyd couldn't help but be grateful; he'd hardly stood a chance at convincing her on his own.

Wrapping the necklace in a clean cloth and tucking it safely into a pocket, he turned and glanced at the younger boy. Although Lloyd had offered the bed, Rai had insisted on sleeping on the floor. He was propped against the wall, but even in sleep his pale face was drawn and his arms crossed, resting in his lap. Lloyd wondered at the fact that he didn't seem cold at all; he'd refused any blankets, and his short black half-top certainly didn't do much to cover his skin.

As he was about to turn away, he paused at the sound of Rai's voice.

"...'s not my fault," the young boy muttered, so quietly that Lloyd almost missed it. He leaned forward, a little concerned. If it was a dream, it didn't sound very pleasant. Rai was quiet for some time, but his expression was troubled; he looked half like he was about to cry and half furious. It was the most emotion Lloyd had ever seen on his face.

Then Rai was screaming, so loudly that Lloyd could feel his own heart speeding in a startled thrum. He reached out to wake the half-elf, hand shaking slightly. Before he could, though, Rai jerked into a sitting position, his hands pressed tightly against his pointed ears.

Then he was fully awake.

Lloyd wasn't sure, but he thought maybe those green eyes were somewhat wet.

The expression was gone in an instant, though, and Rai was staring at him. He looked even blanker than usual, if that was possible. Then he said in a flat voice, "Sorry if I disturbed you. It's not appropriate of me after you were kind enough to lend me a place to sleep."

"Ah - no -" Lloyd held up his hands, half embarrassed to have been listening and half worried about Rai's well-being. "I was awake already, don't worry about it. Are you okay?" What am I supposed to do in this situation...?

"I'm fine. Thank you for asking." Rai got to his feet. "I -"

A blinding flash of light cut him off. Lloyd blinked as the room came back into focus and realized dazedly that it must be time for the Oracle. All thoughts of Rai were swept out of his mind.

Colette. He had to get to Colette and be with her for this! He grabbed his swords and dashed down the stairs.

Rai caught up with him outside, scowling and attempting to flatten his disheveled hair.

As they raced towards Iselia, Lloyd couldn't quite identify what he was feeling. Excitement and nervousness in equal parts, but also an odd sense of foreboding. He quickened his pace, ignoring Rai's annoyed exclamation. Rai was keeping up well; Lloyd hadn't realized how fast he was.

After finding out from the guards at the gate that the Chosen had already departed for the temple, they set off towards the back gate. Genis ran up as they went. "Lloyd, Rai! Are you guys going to the temple? Raine wouldn't let me come!"

Lloyd opened his mouth, but Rai beat him to it, voice sharp. "You might as well come, Genis," he said, "but hurry up. We might miss what's going on."

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Lloyd wondered why Rai was in such a hurry to get to the temple. But then, he had always been one for learning new things; maybe he just wanted to see what went on in the Oracle.

The three boys rushed out of the village, but had only gotten halfway to the temple before Lloyd realized that something was wrong. The definite noise of clashing swords was coming from the temple. His heart quickened with foreboding. As he started to voice as much to the other two, a sharp warning from Genis cut him off and he turned to face the large wolf bearing down on him. Two more wolves were leaping towards Rai and Genis.

As the one facing him snarled and went for his throat, he dispatched it with his sword as quickly as he could and turned to help the other two. He realized then that they were already dead; the Sage siblings must be more capable with magic than he had thought. He had seen neither of them cast for years.

After fending off more monsters, they finally made it to the temple and stared up the steps. Nothing looked amiss so far, but the sound of battle was obvious. "What the hell is going on here?" he wondered aloud. Before either of the others could respond, a priest came into view above. Lloyd raised a hand, about to call out to him, but his breath caught in his throat. Blood stained the pastor's white garb, spreading out from his chest, and as he struggled to make it down the steps, he lost his balance and toppled down. Lloyd rushed forward to help, heart sinking in horror, but wasn't able to get there in time to break his fall. "Pastor! Are you all right?"

Beside him, Genis stared into the man's face with tears in his eyes. "Lloyd, I think he's..."

Rai's voice cut in. "He's dead. There's nothing we can do for him now, but we should go see what's going on up there."

Lloyd felt the familiar stab of indignance at the utter indifference in Rai's voice, but he had to admit he was right. He scrambled to his feet and then, as an afterthought, turned halfheartedly to Genis. "You should stay down here - it's dangerous ..."

Genis was already cutting in, just as Lloyd had expected him to. "I care about Colette and everyone just as much as you, Lloyd! ...Besides, I can take care of myself."

"Don't get cocky," snapped Rai, "but at any rate, it would be foolish for us to split up at this point." He started up the steps. Lloyd opened his mouth angrily, but stopped when Genis caught his arm, shaking his head.

"He means well," he whispered, "and now isn't the time."

They reached the top of the steps, and Lloyd stared. It was worse than he'd thought. There was a full-out battle between what looked to be Desians and the people of the church - and it was obvious the Desians were winning. His knees felt weak with relief when he saw Colette standing in a corner with her grandmother, protected by a line of priests, though her eyes were worried and she looked as if she wanted to jump into the fray herself.

Beside him, Genis gasped in horror. "But - the non-aggression treaty - "

A tall Desian standing nearby turned to look at them. "Where is the Chosen?" he demanded, voice oddly accented.

Lloyd hardly heard him through the roaring in his ears. The noise of battle had faded away in the wake of the furious waves of fury crashing through him. These Desian bastards had not only killed his mother and kidnapped his best friend, but now they were attacking more people he loved - in violation of the treaty?! His whole body shook, and as he snarled and prepared to race into battle, he felt a surge of warmth from the exsphere on his hand. It was a bit idiotic, but he almost felt that somehow, through his mother's memento, her spirit was with him, urging him onward. He imagined that he could hear her warm voice, feel her embrace. Be calm, Lloyd, my son. Do what you have to do.

Emboldened by the warm mana running through his body, he sprang forward. The tall leader leapt out of the way, so Lloyd sliced off the head of the Desian who had been next to him, parrying the blow from his companion and stabbing him through the chest. He barely registered the gasps of the Desians as they realized something had changed; he was running on pure adrenaline and mana, slashing and whirling almost on autopilot, his muscles responding easily from years of training with his father. Genis's faint call reached him and paused, confused, trying to clear the haze from his mind; he glanced around and realized that most of the Desians lay dead and that the leader seemed to have retreated. Of the priests who had been protecting Colette, only two were still standing, firm as ever. Before he could decide how he felt about any of this, he realized that straight ahead of him was an enormous warrior, wielding a vicious-looking ball-and-chain weapon larger than Lloyd's head.

He charged with a roar of fury, even as Rai yelled, "Don't just charge in, you idiot!", and raised his swords at the last moment to guard from a crushing blow. Somewhere behind him, Colette screamed as he was flung almost ten feet, somehow managing to land on his feet. His arms felt numb.

Glancing back at Rai and Genis, he saw that both were casting, but that would take some time yet - wait. Rai had already fired off his spell, faster than Lloyd would have thought possible. Unlike the spells Genis often used, Rai's magic seemed to blast outward straight from his hands as it took shape. He sent a wave of fire toward the giant, and then about five seconds later speared him with a sharp spike of ice alongside Genis's wind spell.

The most astonishing thing was that for the second one, Rai didn't seem to invoke a single incantation.

Lloyd didn't have much time to marvel at this, however. The large Desian, although now bleeding from many places, still seemed unnaturally steady on his feet and was now dealing out more devastating blows. Narrowly dodging what might have been a fatal blow to the head, he slid under another mighty swing, only to be flung back by a third hit. He tumbled over several times and managed to bring himself to his knees, using his swords to support him, and glared up at the Desian, who was now advancing towards him again with a cruel smirk on his face.

At some point Colette must have rushed forward, because she now stood by him, her chakrams clenched in her hands. "Colette, get back!" he yelled, voice rough. "You're the one they're after!"

She fixed him with a worried azure gaze. He felt a pang seeing the usual innocence in her eyes replaced by fear and something else he couldn't quite identify. "But Lloyd, you - "

"I'll be fine, Colette." He looked at her, trying to convey his desperation. "Please. We can't lose you."

She stared only a heartbeat longer before running to join Genis and Rai, who were still furiously casting. The two boys had managed to cast three or four more spells between them, and were now joined by Colette throwing her chakrams with practiced accuracy. Unfortunately, all this served only to slow down the giant, though he did seem to be starting to tire. His breath came in heaving pants and blood poured from his large gashes on his chest and arms, yet he was still grinning maniacally as he staggered closer to Lloyd, swinging his weapon around his head like a whip. Lloyd gritted his teeth and struggled to stand, willing his muscles to respond, but he couldn't seem to regain control of his legs. Damn. This guy is tough.

He didn't want to show his weakness in front of his friends, but he could feel his mana running low, even with the help from his exsphere. Just as he was resigning himself to possible death - hopefully the others would be able to escape - there was a flash of purple in front of him and a loud clang as someone countered the giant's blow. Hardly daring to believe it, Lloyd looked up and saw a tall swordsman fending off the Desian with amazing dexterity.

He realized that the swordsman was now glancing back at him with annoyance in his amber eyes. He took a few paces back and extended his hand, yanking Lloyd to his feet. "Fight," the guy said shortly, after pausing to cast First Aid. Mana flooded back through Lloyd's body. At any other time, this man's arrogant tone would have annoyed him. Now he just nodded in thanks.

His frontal attack distracted the enemy, and the guy in purple used the chance to stab his sword through the giant's gut, moving insanely fast. Lloyd hadn't even been able to follow that with his eyes! Finally, the towering man collapsed, huge quantities of his blood seeping into the ground, and Lloyd knew he was dead.

Panting, he wiped his swords in the grass and looked around, trying to gauge the situation. The Desians all seemed to be either gone or dead, so he turned his gaze toward the newcomer. Phaidra, Colette's grandmother, had now come forward and was addressing the man. "You have my thanks for your help in aiding the Chosen."

She gestured to Colette, who had, along with Genis and Rai, come over to where they were standing. The man turned to look at them, his gaze calculating. "I see. So this girl is the next - " He paused, his eyes falling on Rai, and his gaze turned blank with shock. Lloyd glanced from him to Rai and saw that the half-elf was giving the man a furious glare.

He furrowed his brow for a moment, trying to figure out the odd tension between them, before that was driven out of his mind by something more important. He turned immediately to Colette. "Are you alright?" he muttered to her.

She turned to him, eyes glittering with some unnamed emotion. "Yes. Lloyd - I - thank you..."

The man now turned swiftly to Lloyd. "Your - your name is Lloyd?" He looked more shocked now, but covered it a second later. The expression was fleeting enough that Lloyd probably wouldn't have noticed it if he hadn't already seen the man's odd exchange with Rai. He wondered if there was something going on he didn't know about. Was there something odd about his name? Or had he just imagined the surprise...?

"Yeah. Yours?" he managed on autopilot, realizing he'd paused too long.

"I am Kratos, a mercenary. If you're amenable, I'll accept the job of guarding the Chosen." Kratos turned his head away and faced Phaidra again. Lloyd sneaked another glance at Rai and saw that although his gaze was still fixed on Kratos, it was now blank. The expression Rai had on now reminded Lloyd of how he'd looked earlier that morning, after he'd woken up screaming and seen Lloyd. What was that guy thinking?

He realized that while he'd been lost in thought, Phaidra must have agreed to Kratos, because she was now rasping, "The Chosen must make her way through the trials in the temple to the altar to receive the Oracle. Please accompany her."

Kratos nodded and began to walk toward the entrance, but Colette just gave Lloyd an uneasy glance. He immediately took a few paces forward and addressed Kratos. "Wait. I'm coming too. I want to protect Colette."

The man turned and gave him a condescending look that made his blood boil. "Lloyd, be a good boy and go home. It's far too dangerous for children."
Lloyd opened his mouth to give a scathing retort, but before he could, Rai had stepped forward.

"Kratos, is it? I think you should know that Lloyd, Genis, and I will be coming along on the Journey of Regeneration," he said. Lloyd shivered at how empty the voice was. What was wrong with this guy? "Therefore, we may as well come along for this first trial. I understand that it may seem foolish to allow children to come along, but I assure you there are logical reasons for it. If you'd like to discuss them, you may do so later with Professor Raine, as time is currently running short."

Phaidra looked surprised - whether at Rai's manner or at his news Lloyd wasn't sure - but said nothing. Kratos and Rai simply stared at each other, expressions indecipherable, while everyone else looked on curiously. Lloyd could feel the tension in the air - these two had definitely met before.

Finally, Kratos turned away. "Hmph. As you wish. Just keep in mind that this isn't a field trip."