A/N: So. It's been a while, I know. Unfortunately, life keeps me pretty busy. As you've probably guessed, I can't really promise frequent updates at this point. However, I do continue to work on this story regardless, even if it might take some time to finish. For those of you interested, it might be a good idea to add this to your subscription list if you haven't already so that you know when new chapters are out. With that said, here's the next chapter at long last.

Rai sighed and lay back on the bed, putting the towel aside and staring at the ceiling. The bath had cooled him down quite a bit, and now he was regretting how harshly he had talked to Raine. It had all been true, but there had been no need to go that far. He'd lost his temper completely. He should probably apologize...but still, she had slapped him...

On another note, he felt more than a little incredulity as he recalled the conversation with Lloyd just now. It was true that the game had characterized him that way, but still...Lloyd was a seventeen year old boy. There was no way he was actually as innocent as he seemed.

It was kind of cute though.

Did you just say what I thought you said? Akira said gleefully. Rai sighed.

Not in a romantic sense, Akira. I mean that he's like a little kid.

...Oh.

In this life, Rai had made the transition to adulthood at around eight. This was pretty early, but he supposed it might have something to do with his half-elf nature. Since he was a mix between what must biologically be two different subspecies at the very least, he was bound to have some odd characteristics depending on how the different genes had ended up mixing. However, the process had been a bit different than it was for humans.

Although his voice had changed, he'd grown no body hair, not even on his face, and had retained the slender frame that most elves had despite the fact that many half-elves had more human-like physiques. He supposed it all depended on which genes one inherited from his elf and human sides, though he ached to test that. With so few half-elves to look at, though, there was no way he could.

He had grown quite a bit taller at that time, although he suspected that he still hadn't reached his adult height. Currently he was only about as tall as Lloyd at five feet eight. He'd also received a generous boost to his mana and his ability to control it, which had been a welcome change. And he'd experienced sexual development, of course. Due to his memories from his previous life, none of that had been particularly tumultuous for him. He had, however, been intrigued by the incongruity between his experience and his memories.

Now that he'd discovered Akira's presence, he was starting to realize that what he could remember wasn't determined by his current age, but by some other, less obvious factors. After all, he'd just remembered something in a nightmare from when Akira had obviously been in his twenties, and ever since had obtained even more random memories, often in his sleep but just as frequently while awake. He often wouldn't even realize when something was remembered; it would just come to mind at some point, and then he'd realize he'd never thought about that particular memory before.

At any rate, from what he could remember Akira had been pretty experimental sexually. Actually, he was beginning to get the sense that his past self had generally been a pretty messed up person, and although Rai hadn't admitted as much to Akira outright, he knew that the other must have some idea of his thoughts. Occupational hazard of not only sharing the same brain but also being the same person...

Akira had been so far ahead intellectually due to his near-photographic memory and quick learning that standardized academics had largely failed to keep his interest. He'd researched and studied at home, but resented the fact that he was forced to attend classes he considered unnecessary. He hadn't made a single close friend throughout his life due to his closed-off nature, and despite talking to many people, he'd never fully opened up to anyone. Rai suspected there might be some trauma rooted in his early years, but his memories of Akira's early childhood were sparse so far.

Although Akira hadn't been a sociopath - he hadn't been incapable of empathizing with others - his emotional capacity had been very small, and his childhood hadn't helped. It seemed he'd just never trusted anyone other than maybe his adoptive parents to some degree. However, Akira had experimented with how to act socially, faking emotions he didn't feel and playing games to see how far he could manipulate people. ...Which definitely sounded pretty sociopathic, but hey, who was Rai to judge? This was his past self, after all.

At any rate, Akira had dated many people and had bedded both men and women, often older than him, but he hadn't felt anything more than curiosity or a passing interest in a single one of those partners. After sleeping with them, he'd have nothing to do with them after. It seemed the only place where Akira could be himself had been the dojo where he'd practiced karate. The master there had been a Japanese man who was fond of Akira and had taken him under his wing. And on the subject of martial arts...

Rai sat back up, examining his pale, long-fingered hands. They were smooth and unmarred, but he knew they wouldn't stay that way if he started to spar with a sword. It might help that Akira had used a katana many times, but that would only be helpful with figuring out what to do mentally; the muscle memory would have to be developed anew, since in this body he had never engaged in that kind of activity. He really should also train directly in the style Akira had been so adept with, if his past self complied.

You're thinking about me a lot today.

He jolted a bit, startled at Akira's sudden presence. So will you help out?

It'll give me something to do, at least. It gets a bit boring for me, you know, just sitting around in your head with nobody to talk to but you...

Thanks, Rai said quickly, ignoring the jab. He didn't want Akira to get any funny ideas, such as trying to take over Rai's body just to assuage his boredom. That wouldn't end well.

You can relax a bit.

What?

I know you're worried about my being able to hear your thoughts, but the truth is I can't actually hear all of them, especially those you consciously try to hide. I can hear a good part of what the other voices say, and flashes of what you think and feel, but just now for example I didn't get anything from you except a bit of worry. It was something you didn't want me hearing, am I right?

Well...

It's fine. I definitely have thoughts I don't want you hearing, Akira said darkly. Rai wondered about that for a moment, then decided he didn't want to hear them.

Still, what if Akira was only saying this to lull him into a false sense of security?

I can tell you're still worrying. Stop thinking about it, brat.

I...whatever...Didn't that just make it even more likely Akira knew what he was thinking? This two-people-in-one-body thing was getting kind of annoying.

You know, that reminds me...you need to get laid.

...

That was definitely one way to change the subject.

What? Stop projecting that disbelief! I'm serious!

...I know you are, Akira. That's the sad thing.

No, really! It would help release stress, and maybe you wouldn't be such a pain all the time...

I'm flattered.

That didn't come out right...but anyway, come on, do you plan to just keep doing it for yourself in dark corners for the rest of your life? By yourself? Alone?

Dark corners? he thought, amused at Akira's dramatics. Look, I'm only fourteen. And not only that, but who exactly are you expecting me to proposition, Akira? My sister? Colette? Even you can't think I would consider that.

What about Lloyd?

Had Akira gone mad? Or - wait, he'd been mad already, right.

Akira, that's an amazingly stupid idea. Not only is Lloyd possibly related to me and male, he's also...wait, did you not pay attention to that conversation earlier?

The other sounded smug now. Who cares about what-ifs? We could take that innocent boy and teach him a few things.

Urgh.

Sometimes Rai genuinely worried about the mental stability of his past self, and what that said about him, considering they were supposedly the same person.

You're sick. Count me out of your ridiculous fantasies, he thought angrily after a pause of disgust. And stop calling him a child. He's older than I am, so what does that make me?

You're a brat, I thought we established that already.

Doesn't that seem a bit weird to you? You want... He paused in disgust, realizing what he was about to say. Actually, never mind, don't answer that. I'm done with this.

No, wait -

Rai stood up and stretched, refusing to acknowledge anything else Akira said, and after a few moments his past self subsided with a disgruntled air.

At length, it occurred to him that Kratos was supposed to share this room with them as well, but he was nowhere to be seen. That reminded him - his future voice had hit upon a possibility to prepare for his potentially sharing that genetic disease with Akira. It had suggested that if he could obtain a Cruxis crystal and become an angel, he might be able to prevent himself from aging and thus also prevent any onset of the disease. Not only that, but by stopping his body's internal clock, he could achieve near-immortality as well. And conveniently, he still had that favor to ask Kratos, so he could try to coerce the angel into procuring a Cruxis crystal for him.

He scanned the room for something he could put on, but his only choice was the black half-shirt he'd been wearing all day, and it was dusty and smelly. Then his eyes fell on a clean black tank top of Lloyd's. Hopefully Lloyd wouldn't mind if he borrowed that. Quickly, he shrugged it on and, after a short deliberation, threw on the black cloak he'd been wearing earlier and strode out of the room, ignoring the chill. The sun had already set outside, so now the desert town was uncomfortably cold instead of being unbearably hot, but he'd survive for a few minutes outside, long enough to find Kratos.

As he emerged from the inn, he suddenly remembered that Yuan had been in town only an hour ago. Was he still here somewhere? It was probably best not to come into contact with him, just for the sake of not changing the course of events...but could it be that Kratos had gone to meet him? The angel had probably noticed his friend of more than four thousand years, after all.

Well, of course he did, said Akira sarcastically. Rai ignored him.

He did, confirmed CO. I noticed him looking at him oddly when Raine was, though only for a split second. I reported it at the time, but you were ignoring me. This last was said pointedly.

If they were together now, where were they? They could be miles away by now, Rai realized; after all, both were angels and had wings, and flying was faster than walking, so even if Kratos was alone there was no guarantee Rai could find him. Not only that, but weren't angels unable to feel the cold? ...Or had that just been Colette? He supposed he'd look around Triet a bit just in case.

As he walked around the small town, he was very glad that his hair had already dried. The cold wind was unrelenting, and the townspeople who were still out and about were now dressed much more warmly. Obviously, the locals were prepared for the harsh temperature changes of the desert's day and night cycle. The marketplace was still open, although some of the stalls (mostly food vendors) were starting to close. He meandered by, looking at the wares. CO was giving him every detail, and he actually paid some attention to it for once.

...and there's a shop where you can get your ears pierced, with earrings that may have certain magical properties. The structure of the stall...

Wait, said Akira over CO's continued reports. Hey, Rai, look - you can get your ears pierced for free! Wow, it would be stupid not to do it!

Rai was about to reject the idea, mostly because Akira had been the one to suggest it, but his curiosity was piqued by the promise of magical enhancement. He supposed he could take a look at what they were selling specifically. He approached slowly, and the vendor noticed him and lit up with a smile.

"Welcome, young sir! Would you like to purchase any earrings or other amulets? With earrings, you get them pierced into your ears free of charge!"

Earrings would probably be best, since there was less chance of them being lost.

"What do you have?" Rai asked, leaning forward to look at the variety. "I'm considering earrings - anything that will enhance my magic?"

"Ah - you have...magic?"

Rai realized why the shopkeeper was uncertain and dropped his hood, revealing his angular features, pale hair and long ears. "I'm an elf, you see." It was useful to look nearly indistinguishable from an elf, especially since none of the humans here were very familiar with the difference. The only physical distinguishing factor between him and a full elf was his eye color; vibrant green was an unusual color found mainly in half-elves, and was somewhat on the rare side even then.

Excitement lit up the man's eyes. "Oh, I see! I've never met one before - I'd thought you were all extinct - oh, I'm so sorry, that was rude of me - "

"It's fine." Rai waved his concern away. "I suppose you don't have anything to enhance mana control, then?"

"Actually, I do! I happen to have a few things in stock, although they're a bit pricey, hard to obtain, you know...because they sometimes come looking for things, and I can hardly refuse them..." He laughed nervously as he turned to rummage with his supplies. Rai could guess that "they" was probably meant to refer to the Desians.

The man faced him with another genuine smile. "But since you're an elf, good sir, I'll give you this service for free! I never thought I would meet one of your noble kind in person!"

He felt an unreasonable spark of irritation, but forced himself to smile back at the man as he showed him the different earrings. Eventually he decided on a pair of silver ones that enhanced both his magical defense and attack by giving him enhanced mana control. He suspected the item was expensive, and he did have a few thousand gald stashed in the inside pocket of his cloak, but he certainly didn't want to refuse the chance to get it for free.

Five minutes later he left with both the new accessories and the man's admiring comments in his ears, feeling oddly like an imposter.

You're pretty much like an elf from the outside, so it's as if the guy met a real one anyway. It wouldn't have made a difference for him.

Rai's unease cleared. You're right.

W seemed to be protesting from its corner, but as usual he didn't bother to consider what it was saying, and after a few moments it subsided.

It was an interesting point, though, he thought as he walked. Why did he look so uncannily like an elf? If his parents were an elf and a human, that should be impossible, because half his genes had to come from the human. From what he knew about his parentage - no, from what he thought he knew about his parentage, it wasn't like he had any solid proof that Kratos was really his father - but if he was, then his mother must have been either an elf or a half-elf. If she was a half-elf, she must have been a very elf-like cross between two half-elves. But even then, with his mother being at most a pure-blooded elf, he couldn't see any possible way for her and Kratos - a human - to produce someone like Rai, at least not if genetics worked the same way here as they had in his old life. Something like body morphology was insanely polymorphic; if one parent was a pure-blooded human, there would be no way for Rai to escape at least somewhat resembling a human physically, because half his genes had to come from his father. Even just looking at something like height, a simplified model would be that half the genes came from the mother and half from the father and that the phenotypic effect was additive; the more 'tall' genes you got, the taller you were. But height was at least something that didn't matter for looking elf-like or human-like (because although elves were shorter on average, it wasn't unheard of for some of them to be tall). Other traits for body shape and stature were even more complicated. How could Kratos, a human, have produced a child that looked physically just like an elf? It seemed quite unlikely, if not downright impossible.

The more he thought about it, the more the feeling of dread inside him intensified. In annoyance, he directed his attention inward, wanting to figure out why he was feeling this way, and realized it was fear of not knowing. He didn't want to go from knowing the identity of one parent to having no idea about either; he hated not having control of and knowledge about his life. Realizing that something he'd believed was wrong would be stressful for him. Because of that, it seemed he didn't want to find out that Kratos wasn't his father. But that was stupid. If Kratos wasn't his father, that was what Rai should believe; conversely, if Kratos was actually his father, that was what Rai should believe. The truth was still the truth either way. Accepting it didn't make it any better or worse.

Okay, what were the chances that Kratos was his father after all? The only way he could justify that being the case was that either genetics in this world were drastically different, or Kratos himself actually wasn't a pure-blooded human. He had the impulse to reject the second possibility immediately, since he could sense Kratos's mana signature and it was definitively human, but he couldn't rule out the possibility that Kratos had some way to mask that.

There was no point in confronting Kratos about it immediately, however. He still had that favor to ask him, so it was probably better not to bring something like that up now, even though not knowing left an uneasy feeling in his gut. Even if he did ask Kratos, he argued to himself, there was no guarantee that the man would actually tell the truth. And if he really was Rai's biological father, there was the possibility of him being hurt by Rai's questioning of that, so he should definitely wait until at least after he cashed in that favor.

Either way, regardless of whether they were blood-related, it wasn't like he had anyone else. Kratos was the closest thing he had to a father, even if he had only raised him for four years.

He passed by a few stalls selling weapons and almost went to look at the swords, but decided against it; he should come back with someone more familiar with them, like Kratos, before he committed to a purchase. In fact he should probably also make sure he could convince Kratos to train him. Without the ability to use it, any sword he bought would only be useless dead weight.

At some point in his exploration of the city, he rounded a corner in an isolated area and stopped. Kratos glanced over from where he was reclining against a wall, then turned his gaze back to the sky without acknowledging Rai. After a moment of hesitation, Rai walked forward and slid into place next to him. "I have something to ask you."

Kratos still said nothing, so Rai continued, "I think I should learn how to use a sword. What do you think?"

There was an oddly charged silence. Neither of them moved a muscle, although Rai had no idea where the tension in the air was coming from. Finally the older man said sharply, "Are you sure you didn't already learn that from whomever taught you hand-to-hand combat?"

Somehow - stupidly - he'd forgotten that Kratos had been suspicious about that. "I told you," he said tiredly over CO's berating comments (I just reminded you two seconds ago!). "I have no idea what happened back - " He stopped, taking in Kratos's disbelieving eyes, and felt a wave of irritation. Obviously, the blind idiot wasn't going to believe the truth no matter how many times Rai insisted on it, so there was no point in trying any further. "Fine. Suppose I did secretly learn it from somewhere - no, they did not also teach me the art of the sword, and I'm sure you'd agree that hand-to-hand combat isn't very useful against monsters or armored opponents like the Desians."

"So you admit that you did learn a secret martial art style from someone?"

"I admit nothing of the sort, if you'll recall what I just said," Rai said coldly. "But hypothetically, if I had such a teacher, I would not disclose their identity to you."

Silence.

"But why not?"

"Why would I?"

More silence.

Finally Kratos said, "I suppose you intend to make your favor to me about sword training, then?"

"Certainly not," he said quickly. "The favor is entirely separate. I only wished to ask your opinion on my learning to wield a sword."

"Separate? Then what could you possibly..." Kratos looked extremely tired. "Never mind. Well, I would usually advise you to become an archer, since you would probably excel at that, but that still wouldn't help you if attacked at extremely close quarters. You could use something like a spear, but since it's tricky to use and there are no lancers in our party to train you, I suppose a sword is best."

"Would it be possible to train with both arrows and a sword?"

"I suggest you stick to one for now, Rai. Once you become proficient with the sword, then you can turn your attention to other weapons."

He supposed he should take the expert's word for it. "Will you train me, then?"

"Why should I?" Kratos shot back at him, eyes gleaming. "I recall you saying this wasn't the favor, so I have no reason to agree."

Rai couldn't help but see this as unfair. Kratos had offered to train Lloyd in the game..."You wouldn't even do this much for your own son?" Even if I'm not his real son, he still has to pretend I am...

Kratos stared back at him impassively for a few seconds. "You can't use emotional blackmail for everything, Rai. But...fine, I suppose there isn't any reason not to train you - when I have time. Finishing our mission is more important."

"Why do you care how quickly we finish the mission? Aren't you just a mercenary who's getting paid to keep the Chosen safe?"

"Yes, so of course I want to finish this job in good time so I can start the next, since this is my living."

That...made absolutely no sense. Rai knew very well that Kratos wasn't really a mercenary, and Kratos probably knew that Rai knew that, but if he had been a mercenary he should have wanted to drag out the job for some time, since he was currently living on Phaidra's money for as long as he was protecting the Chosen. Not only that, but why would a mercenary want to finish jobs quickly so they could start the next job? That was circular reasoning, it was like they were hurrying through life taking job after job for no end reason. It would only make sense if they had some sort of quota of jobs to finish or something.

Rai knew better than to continue arguing with Kratos about it.

"Fine. Then can you help me pick one out tomorrow before we leave, considering I know next to nothing about swords?"

"...I suppose," sighed Kratos. "Why did I agree to this, again?"

"Because emotional blackmail tends to be effective even when the subject is aware of it," Rai said smugly. "As for the favor..."

"You want to ask it now?"

"If I remember correctly, you're one of the Four Seraphim."

Kratos glanced around warily. "I ask that you not make statements like that aloud in the future."

"So you should be capable of obtaining a Cruxis Crystal, right?"

The angel's gaze grew suspicious as he looked back at Rai, searching his expression. "Why?"

"Would it be possible for me to undergo the angel transformation? And what would be the effects on me if I did?"

Kratos's eyes widened in shock. "You would want to become an angel yourself? After - after he - "

Damn, this must have something to do with whatever important memory Rai had supposedly remembered but hadn't really. "I think it is best for me to face my weaknesses now," he invented smoothly, allowing a note of pain to enter his voice, "and not let them drag me down." That was vague enough, I hope...

Kratos was still looking at him oddly, but he said, "Rai, the angel transformation isn't something to be taken lightly. It's true that by use of a key crest you can avoid the loss of your soul, but not all the side effects are suppressed, and they vary to some degree from person to person."

"What are the common ones, then?"

Kratos looked a bit uncomfortable. "The angel transformation works differently for half-elves than for humans. For both, superhuman strength and the ability to fly is obtained, as well as extremely keen hearing and vision - note that these can be used against you as well - but the deleterious side effects are much more severe..."

"Yes, so like I asked, what are they?"

Kratos shot him a stern look, but continued anyway. "For humans, the ability to sleep is lost, as is the ability to feel most pain or extreme temperatures. Using a key crest usually suppresses the other symptoms, such as being unable to taste food, losing the ability to speak and of course losing one's soul and memories. It's fairly straightforward. For half-elves, however, it's actually quite a bit different." He paused, glancing at Rai's look of rapt attention, then continued, "Half-elves also seem to lose the ability to sleep in most cases, and their bodies are able to withstand more extreme conditions of heat and cold. However, they can still feel pain just as strongly as ever, though they heal faster, and they permanently lose their sense of taste regardless of whether there is a key crest. Also, the Cruxis crystal often seems to have some added mental effects which aren't fully averted by equipping a key crest. That part isn't very well understood, but from what I know it appears to rigidify one's natural thinking. A stubborn person will become even more stubborn, a selfish person will become even more selfish. It may cause other effects depending on the person. And although I have no proof for this, I have reason to believe that it affects happiness and stress as well."

"You're saying the angel transformation causes depression and mental rigidity in half-elves?"

Kratos didn't say anything for a few moments. Then, "I'm not saying it causes it, it's simply...something I've observed."

Rai mulled over this for a few minutes. It still seemed like the pros would mostly outweigh the cons, but it was a bit disconcerting that they weren't sure of the extent of the mental effects. He supposed as long as it didn't make you go insane...but then, wasn't Mithos a bit off? Although that could probably be attributed to being rejected by the people he had saved, splitting the world in two and becoming its god, and then obsessively planning to resurrect his dead sister for over four thousand years afterward. Rai had a feeling that anyone would be a little weird after all that. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

"Has the angel transformation ever been tried with elves?"

Kratos looked surprised. "No."

"Never? Not even as an experiment to try to figure out how it works?"

"No."

...He should have expected this. Of course he was the only sane person around, why should anybody else have common sense? Especially not four thousand year-old heroes.

"Were any experiments tried to get an idea of what the effects really are, what determines them, or why they're different between half-elves and humans? For example, do you recall any data about how the effects differed depending on the amount of elf and human blood an individual had?"

"No. A group of half-elves initially underwent the transformation, but since they're near-immortal nobody else has become an angel since then, and I'm not sure of their specific parentage."

"...So nobody wanted to, I don't know, test what these mental detriments might be? None of the leaders of Cruxis were perturbed at the idea of having their brains affected?"

Kratos was just looking at him unfathomably. "They've already become angels at this point, and they didn't know about possible mental effects beforehand."

Rai realized it was futile. How did these people even develop something like the angel transformation in the first place? "...Okay fine, moving on. Will the transformation just freeze my biological clock where it is now - that is, would I stay fourteen forever?"

The angel hesitated. Eventually he conceded, "I believe so. That is why I advise you not to take this path."

"How much would it slow my growth? Would it be frozen indefinitely?"

"It's not entirely known," Kratos said dryly, "but know this: I am still physically around twenty even thousands of years after my transformation."

Oh, right - this was supposed to be new information, how old Kratos really was. Rai's face showed shock, as it should have if he'd truly been ignorant. Then, after pausing for an appropriate interval, he asked, "Is there any way to temporarily speed up my development? It wouldn't matter if I underwent the angel transformation afterward."

"Don't you think your companions would notice if you suddenly aged several years?"

"Not if I made it just gradual enough to be believable. What's wrong with having a growth spurt? Oh, and one last question. Will it change my mana signature?"

"...Only subtly. To people who know you, it will seem slightly different, but they'll probably be unable to determine exactly why and may write it off. The difference is only obvious when you know what to look for."

"Okay. Will you look into this for me, then? A Cruxis crystal, its possible effects, and a possible way to speed up my development?"

Kratos sighed in resignation. "I'll...look into it. But why are you so determined to become an angel, Rai?"

He'd anticipated this question and decided that semi-truth wouldn't be too damaging in this case. "Why wouldn't I want to? Superhuman strength, flight, better senses, a hugely lengthened lifespan?"

"You're doing this for power?"

"If you want to put it that way...yes, I suppose. Maybe a better description would be...survival?" I'm actually telling the truth this time. Wow.

Gold medal for you, brat.

There was a short silence.

"...Why am I having a hard time believing you?"

"I have no idea whatsoever."