A/N: Hi. Another chapter at long last! I know there have been formatting issues throughout this story (mainly by way of sentences that should be in italics but aren't, or a few missing returns between paragraphs) and that's mainly because I have to reformat all of that every time I copy and paste the text to upload to this website. Inevitably, I miss a few of those things when reformatting it by hand. It's probably happened with this chapter, too. If that's something you notice, I hope you can continue to look past it.

Now, on to your (not) regularly scheduled chapter...

"'Kaa-san, why are you marrying him? I don't want him to be my father..."

The ensuing slap resounded throughout the room, and the young child stared up at his mother through teary black eyes.

"Shut up, you ungrateful brat! You should just be thankful that he even wants to marry me at all, when I have you. And don't you appreciate that I've had the generosity to take care of you all these years? I should have just put you in an orphanage when your beast of a father ran out." The woman's beautiful features were marred with a sneer as she added under her breath, "You look just like Ryo, with that uselessly pretty face and those hateful eyes. You're his son, not mine. Even your name is his."

The child failed to stop his tears. Why didn't you send me to an orphanage, then? he wanted to ask but didn't dare. I would probably have been better off. Then, as the sound of heavy footsteps came from the hallway, the boy shrank back in fear. A few moments later, his new stepfather stepped into the room, his face contorted in an ugly scowl.

"Keiko? Is the brat giving you trouble again?" The man spoke in his native Japanese, but when he turned to the boy he switched to accented English.

"You need more discipline, no? Ryoichi?"

The boy shook his head frantically. No, no, no..."I'm s-s-sorry," he stammered. "I'll be good, so please, please..."

There was the click of the man removing his belt, and then the boy was caught by the arm as he tried to escape. His screams filled the air, and in a last attempt at escape he appealed to the other person in the room. "Okaa-sama! Please! Please save me!" He screamed. She stared back at him disgustedly.

"Your father is right, Ryoichi. You need more discipline if you're to learn not to question your parents."

"Please, Okaa-sama! I was wrong! I'll be good from now on, save me!" he sobbed, as the buckle tore into his back.

Keiko turned and left the room, ignoring her son's screams.

Rai jolted back into reality mid-sob, shaking uncontrollably. Although it had been a dream, the pain and fear had been real, as had the feelings of helplessness and betrayal. In his mind, Akira was silent, and so were most of the other voices, like they were too shocked to say anything. His surroundings were a blur and his ears felt blocked.

He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself and remember when and where he was. Telling himself that it had been only a dream didn't help, because he knew it hadn't been just a dream. It had been a memory.

That had actually happened to him in a past life, and he didn't know how Akira had possibly gotten through it sane. He hasn't, whispered a voice in his mind. Does he really seem sane to you?

As he gradually brought his breathing under control and his senses started working again, he realized with a jolt that he was pressed up against another person. Immediately he tried to pull away, but the arms wrapped around him put up resistance. Then the person stirred and the embrace loosened.

"Rai? Are you awake?"

He wasn't sure what to say. Why had Lloyd been hugging him in his sleep? Not only that, but why had Lloyd been present to witness another nightmare? Just his luck...shit, was Kratos in the room, too? He sat up quickly and swiped away the tears still on his cheeks. Upon cursory examination, it seemed he and Lloyd had been sharing a bed even though Lloyd had been supposed to be on the floor, and Kratos was mercifully absent. It was still dark outside, so obviously it wasn't daytime yet.

"Rai?"

The question reminded him of Lloyd's presence and he looked back at the swordsman, who was inexplicably shirtless. Oh, right, last night I took the shirt he usually sleeps in. I'm still wearing it for some reason. Get yourself together...

He coughed a bit, not trusting his voice. "Um...sorry. Wha - what happened?"

Lloyd ignored the question, moving forward slightly and inspecting Rai's face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he responded, a little awkwardly. "Look, can you please explain?"

"Oh, sorry. Okay, well...you woke me up at some point, screaming in your sleep. Seemed like you were having another nightmare, so I tried to wake you up, but you wouldn't wake, and then you, uh...started crying and, um..."

Rai could feel utter mortification and dread flooding him, but he forced himself to speak. "And?"

Lloyd sighed and ruffled his brown hair. "I guess I'll just tell you. You were... ah...calling for your mom, I think? At first, anyway," he added quickly. "Then you started speaking some other language, it sounded like, or maybe it was just random gibberish. Anyway, you just wouldn't wake up, and you were flailing around everywhere, so I kind of...grabbed ahold of you, to calm you down..." He coughed awkwardly. "Anyway, it took a while for you to stop, so I was almost asleep again by the time you woke up just now. Uh, sorry about that."

Rai sighed. He supposed he should really thank Lloyd, since it must have been pretty inconvenient to have been woken in the middle of the night and then have to restrain Rai, but part of him was angry that Lloyd had heard this at all. Still, that definitely wasn't Lloyd's fault, no matter how he thought about it. "What are you apologizing for?"

Lloyd blinked. "Um, I...for touching you without permission, I guess...? It seems like you're uncomfortable with it."

"You're not wrong," Rai admitted, "but you have no reason to apologize. Still, I..." How should I say this? "This...isn't something I wanted anyone to see. Could you keep it to yourself?"

"Of course." The swordsman looked uncharacteristically serious, his brown eyes intent. "I was going to do that anyway. I'm guessing this has something to do with your mysterious past? No, it's okay, don't say anything - you don't have to tell me what it's about. I won't ask, and I won't tell anyone else. But..." He hesitated. After he'd been silent for a few moments, Rai finally cut in.

"What?"

"I...I just want you to know that you're not alone. If you want anyone to talk to, you can always come to me, and I won't judge you. I know we didn't get along very well in the past, but that doesn't mean...well, even if I don't fully understand you, I, well...ugh..." He ruffled his hair vigorously. "Damn, why is this so hard to say..."

"It's okay, I understand what you mean," Rai said quickly, trying to diffuse the awkwardness. It was a cliché statement, but despite himself, he was a bit touched. He didn't intend to take Lloyd up on this offer - the less Lloyd knew about his past, the better - but it was a bit surprising that Lloyd was so worried despite how rude Rai had always been to him. And it wasn't even out of curiosity about his past - it was just a desire to help others. It was probably this same quality that had allowed Lloyd to befriend Zelos, and to trust him even after he'd betrayed the party. An interesting loyalty. "Sorry for waking you up."

He started to lie back down, and Lloyd made to return to the blanket he'd laid out on the floor. Rai reached out a hand to stop him. "You might as well stay up here," he offered. He'd feel bad if Lloyd had to return to the floor after all the trouble he'd already had to go through. "It'll be more comfortable, and really this is a two-person bed."

Lloyd glanced at him in surprise. "...Are you sure? I thought you were really particular about stuff like this."

"If you don't want to, then fine."

"No, wait, I want to!" Hurriedly, Lloyd scrambled back up onto the bed. "...Thanks."

"Forget it. Just don't hug me again and we'll be fine." He ignored Lloyd's spluttering and rolled over onto his side, facing away from the swordsman.

Sleep, no matter how long he waited, refused to return.

Raine swung her legs out of bed, alert and clear-eyed. Every morning, she woke at the same time, and had done so since she was a teenager. Genis seemed to have no such system; he was sprawled out next to her, mouth half-open and snoring slightly. Colette, on the other bed, lay equally insensible. Raine smiled a little before heading towards the washing area to carry out her morning routine.

As she splashed cool water on her face, blinking rapidly and inhaling at the sudden cold, she ran over today's plans in her mind. The group should spend today gathering information about the precise location of the Triet Ruins and how best to prepare for the trip. They also needed to stock up on supplies, and she supposed it wouldn't hurt for the children to get a day of rest so that they could resume the journey easily tomorrow morning.

Even though she had already predetermined all the actions they could take, she couldn't shake her feeling of uneasiness. Things seemed far more complicated these days than they needed to be. None of her companions acted the way they should, and it was as if everyone hid secrets. Even Genis seemed reticent, which disturbed her because normally she could read him like an open book. Usually he talked to her about his problems, but now he avoided answering her questions and seemed unusually subdued. Colette kept to herself and hardly ever smiled, Rai was even more prickly and withdrawn than normal, and even Lloyd seemed to be worried about something or another. The group dynamic just felt off. Then of course there was Kratos, who got progressively more odd by the day - there he was, she noted suspiciously as she exited her room. He was already sitting in the lobby downstairs, his gazed fixed on nothing. How long had he been up? The sun had barely even risen. She made a mental note to ask Lloyd or Rai later if they'd noticed him leaving.

"Good morning," she greeted him as she approached. Kratos still said nothing. A vein twitched in Raine's temple. How dare this man ignore her?

"I said - " she began again, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

"I heard you the first time," he interrupted flatly.

"Then it's only proper manners to respond," she said coldly. "Are the boys still asleep?"

"I assume so. Perhaps you should go check up on them."

She didn't bother to reply, opting instead to turn away as she calmed herself with a momentous effort. Kratos seemed even more insufferable than usual. She hoped this wasn't an indicator of how the rest of the day would play out.

As she reached the top of the steps, she hesitated, remembering yesterday's argument with Rai. Was he still angry? She herself felt more sad than irritated. It was just so difficult to communicate with Rai in a way he understood; anything she did or said, he would interpret in the worst way possible. Not for the first time, she wondered what his early childhood had been like for him to be so distrusting, so determined to see the worst in others.

Well, standing outside the door wouldn't get her anywhere. She knocked softly several times, garnering no response, and then finally let herself in.

Taking a few light steps forward to avoid waking them if they were still asleep, she glanced at the bed and then froze involuntarily, barely holding back a gasp of surprise. Lloyd and Rai were both sound asleep - and both on the same bed.

Not that there was anything scandalous about the scene. Rai was on one side of the bed, facing away from Lloyd, and Lloyd was sprawled at the other end. No, the shocking part of this was that it was Rai. As long as Raine had known him, the young half-elf had never let anybody sleep anywhere near him. Even when he had first come to her at the tender age of four, he had insisted on sleeping separately, on a different mat or in a different room. He'd even refused to let Genis sleep with him, which had caused quite a few tantrums on the younger one's part.

She didn't know why Rai was so odd about it, but he had always needed clear boundaries. Sleeping in the same room was fine, though disliked, but he had always seemed to feel the need to keep at least an artificial distance between himself and everyone else in the form of having clearly separated sleeping arrangements. Despite that, in Rai's younger years Raine had often found herself jolted to wakefulness by her adopted brother's nightmares, which he used to have every night.

Still - how had this - ? The last time she had checked, Rai had strongly disliked Lloyd...since when did he trust him this much?

She shook herself out of her reverie. Now was not the time, but she and Rai needed to have words later. It wasn't that she disapproved of him being close to Lloyd - in fact, if he was going to trust somebody, Lloyd was probably the best choice - but she was worried about the extensive changes in him. He was hiding things from her, which was nothing new, but enough was enough. She was his guardian and to fulfill that role she needed to know the major things he struggled with.

That decided and filed away for the moment, Raine walked forward, deliberately reaching for Lloyd first, since he would be much easier to interact with. After she shook him a few times, he woke up surprisingly quickly, his eyes blinking open and focusing on her worriedly before his head snapped up and he glanced quickly at Rai, relaxing when he saw that the other boy was asleep.

"Good morning, Lloyd," Raine said archly, choosing not to ask. She'd let him do the talking.

Lloyd looked uncharacteristically grim. "Good morning, Professor. Look, uh, you're probably wondering about this - "

She said nothing, but fixed him with a gaze that probably left him with no doubt about what she meant.

"Yeah. Well, I don't know if you know, but - "

He trailed off. Raine's eyes narrowed at him suspiciously as the cogs visibly turned in his mind.

"Actually, uh...nothing. Rai just offered to let me sleep on the bed in case the floor was uncomfortable," he hedged finally. Raine closed her eyes briefly. Lloyd was a terrible liar, but it was probably best not to force this issue.

"I...see," she said slowly, making sure even Lloyd could pick up that she didn't believe him. She reached out an arm to wake Rai as well, but to her surprise Lloyd stopped her. She turned on him, astonished.

"Could you...well, I mean I think it would be best to let him sleep a while longer. He didn't sleep very well."

Raine would have asked how Lloyd could know, but then she made several connections at once and straightened up. Ah - so Rai had had at least one of those nightmares last night. Of course, that wasn't the whole story about how they had ended up on the same bed, but she now thought she had a vague idea of it anyway. She felt a sudden flash of worry. She'd been quite sure Rai had stopped having those nightmares. When had they started up again?

...Well, she supposed it couldn't hurt to let her brother sleep in, especially considering today was allocated for information gathering and recuperation.

"All right," she said aloud. "You seem tired as well, so maybe you should also sleep in, but try to wake up after a few hours at least. I'm sure the both of you have some things to get done before we leave tomorrow morning."

She would normally have expected Lloyd to give her a grin and an upbeat response, but he only nodded sullenly, unnaturally downcast. "Thanks, Professor."

The question was at the tip of her tongue, but she didn't voice it.

Raine turned and walked out of the room, massaging her temples and her good mood from earlier gone. Yes, she was sure of it now - this journey was definitely going to be far more frustrating than it needed to be.

Darkness enveloped all, leaving nothing to color his surroundings, nothing to assure him that any material thing existed. Still, Lloyd turned every which way, desperately searching to find something, some purpose. Finally, a person came into view - Colette. He opened his mouth to call out to her, hand half-raised, when the greeting died in his throat as he noticed the expression on her face. It was resolute, yet cold. She stared past him, unseeing. There was no acknowledgement that she even knew he was there.

A mocking voice cut through the silence. "You're useless, Lloyd. She's the Chosen, not you. No matter how strong you become, you cannot protect her. She has a duty, and that duty has nothing to do with you."

Lloyd wanted to respond, but found that he could not speak. Still, somehow the statement stabbed at his heart. Wasn't it something he'd thought many times? Dad always talked about finding a purpose in life, whether it was to achieve a goal or to protect your friends - but what if he had no goal and lacked the strength to help anyone?

Why did he exist?

Slowly, he turned to face the owner of the voice, even as Colette faded away into the darkness again. Rai's green eyes bored into his. The half-elf's grin was feral and sardonic - an expression more malicious than Lloyd had ever seen from him before. Still, he was unable to speak, and could only stare at Rai wordlessly.

"You know, for all your love of people, you seem to be really inadequate when it comes to understanding them," Rai sneered. "You try and try to be useful to everyone, to understand them and help them, but despite that you can't do a thing. Even Colette only humors you. You know it, so why do you keep trying?" He didn't give Lloyd the chance to respond, continuing, "And I don't appreciate your butting into my business all the time, Lloyd. I know I said I'd be civil to you, but that doesn't change the fact that in reality I hate you. I would kill you if you got the chance. And you know what? You don't understand me at all. And you never will."

Again, the words hurt Lloyd more than he was willing to admit. The insinuation was that he was only trying to help Rai for his own benefit, to have a purpose or to be needed. That wasn't it at all - it was because it was the right thing to do. ...Wasn't it?

Rai gave one final sneer and started to fade away.

"Don't forget. The first chance I get...I won't hesitate to stab you in the back."

"...Lloyd? Lloyd."

His eyes opened and he blinked blearily up at the Professor, who had apparently been trying to wake him. His heart was still pounding fast from the unsettling dream, and despite the fact that many of the specific details were already fading away, he could still remember his feelings. He had been helpless, betrayed, and alone. An involuntary shudder ran through him before he realized that the Professor was staring at him expectantly and realized belatedly what she was waiting for.

"Good morning, Professor," he managed. "Look - you're probably wondering about this - " He paused at her stern look and felt a wave of sheepishness. "Yeah. Well, I don't know if you know, but..." Oh, shit. Was I just about to give Rai away? He just told you to keep this a secret, Lloyd! he berated himself. Some friend you are. He glanced back up at the professor, who was still watching him. "Actually, uh...nothing," he finished awkwardly, cursing his lack of elegance. "Rai just offered to let me sleep on the bed in case the floor was...uncomfortable."

"I see," she said after a pause, but it was obvious she didn't believe him. Dammit, Rai is going to kill me, thought Lloyd desperately, which then reminded him of his dream. He felt an uncharacteristic wave of depression. Does Rai really think that way about me? No, it was only a dream...

"Thanks, Professor," he said too late, realizing he had missed whatever else she'd said. Something about letting them sleep in. She stared at him for a moment longer before leaving the room, but Lloyd's thoughts had already veered back to his dream and everyone's odd behavior.

Come to think of it, Colette was acting weird, wasn't she? He had tried asking her about it yesterday, but she'd only apologized and asked for more time, not wanting to tell him until she was ready. He'd said he understood, but he hadn't been able to help but feel snubbed. She had told Rai about what was bothering her, after all, and apparently the professor knew too. Why was Lloyd the only one she refused to tell?

Only Genis was more or less his usual self, but Lloyd had noticed that he seemed to be avoiding Rai. Why can't everyone just get along? he thought despondently. I finally get Rai to somewhat get along with me, and he falls out with Genis and threatens to kill me in my dreams. He glanced over at the half-elf in question, who still facing away from Lloyd, his breaths deep and even. For the first time, it occurred to Lloyd to wonder whether he was even really asleep.

"Rai?" he said softly. "I know you're awake."

He hadn't expected his bluff to pay off, but Rai rolled over immediately, blinking at Lloyd through tired eyes. He looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep at all, but his gaze was amused. "I'm impressed at your attempt at subterfuge, Lloyd. I must be rubbing off on you. ...But that wouldn't have worked if I hadn't let it. I could always have continued pretending to sleep, and you wouldn't have known the difference."

"You did end up responding, though," Lloyd pointed out, internally relieved at Rai's friendliness. Rai only stifled a yawn, his green eyes half-closing. Lloyd stared. He wasn't used to such a human gesture - bad wording, he's not human - but that doesn't matter - from Rai. Before this, he had mostly just acted like a block of ice around Lloyd.

"I thought you'd be mad at me," Lloyd admitted finally. Rai blinked his eyes open again, looking at Lloyd through an endearingly sleepy gaze.

"Why?" he mumbled. Then, without giving Lloyd a chance to respond - he does that a lot, Lloyd thought disgruntledly - he continued, "Oh. You mean your atrocious attempt at lying to Raine?"

Lloyd knew his silence was confirmation enough. Rai smirked a little. "It's okay. I hardly expected you to become a master liar in a flash. I like you better this way anyway."

...Say what now?

Rai took one look at Lloyd's stupefied expression and burst out laughing, though he cut it off almost as soon as he'd started, as if he'd remembered that he never laughed. "It's easier to to talk to you if I can always see through your lies," he explained. Lloyd could feel himself blushing.

"I...shut up," he retorted, knowing it was a lame response. Rai had already closed his eyes again.

"Well, I think I was almost asleep when Raine showed up," he said. "So I think I'm going to try to get a few hours at least...what about you?"

Lloyd hesitated. "You don't mind if I stay here? I mean, on the bed," he amended hastily. The Professor's reaction had reminded him just how uncharacteristic this was. Genis used to complain about it all the time.

"I'm starting to think you're the one with an aversion to it now," Rai yawned. Wow. He must be really tired. "I've already woken up once to you taking advantage of me, so I think I'm prepared for anything else that can happen."

"I wasn't - ! " Lloyd knew he was blushing again. Rai gave a tired wave of his hand.

"I know, I know. It was a joke, though in bad taste perhaps. You're so sensitive, Lloyd."

"I - I'm not! It's not my fault you never usually joke!"

"Don't I? Maybe I should do it more often. Your reactions are so entertaining," Rai murmured, already looking half-asleep. Lloyd just sighed, lying back down.

...Well, he supposed this Rai was still better than the cold, aloof face he had seen so far.

A/N: Thoughts?