This chapter is currently undergoing reconstruction. Potential plot holes, character inconsistencies and poor prose upcoming.
Mission felt both her jaw and her fists clench as Drea and Seth embraced. She felt like gagging at the way Drea pressed her body into his and ran her hands across his back, although the Twi'lek had done the same exact thing to him earlier, with her hands halfway inside his shirt.
She felt bile rise in her throat at how low Seth's hands were on her back, never mind that he'd gone down farther with Mission; his hands had found her rear on more than one occasion.
And she couldn't take any more of it when Drea pressed her lips to Seth's cheek, completely forgetting that he and Mission had spent entire nights with their lips entangled. The Twi'lek cleared her throat loudly. Seth and Drea separated, embarrassed. "Yeah," Mission said. "I'm still here."
Seth's face reddened. "Mission, this is Drea Namm. Drea, this is my best friend Mission Vao." Oh, so she was just his best friend, now?
Drea held her hand out politely for her to shake. "Pleased to meet you, Mission," she said sweetly.
Mission pretended not to notice the outstretched hand. "Ditto," she said simply.
Drea awkwardly lowered her hand, keeping an admittedly adorable sweet smile gracing her perfect features. "How are you liking Ahto City?" she asked cheerfully, careful to include both Seth and Mission in the conversation. Seth immediately began to ramble on about the ocean.
Already the Twi'lek was comparing herself with the other girl. And already she felt outmatched. Drea's skin was blemish-free, it seemed, while Mission was constantly worried about break outs and made sure to apply coverup every day on the off chance that Seth would be close enough to notice the tiny red bumps that occasionally spotted her chin. Drea had eyes as blue as the ocean outside, while Mission felt that her brown ones were too dull and boring to attract attention from anyone. She noticed the way Seth liked to run his fingers through Drea's wavy blonde hair, and her hands rose self-consciously to her lekku. No comparison there. Drea was Seth's own species, and there was nothing Mission could do about that. And of course, just within five minutes of meeting her, Mission could see why Seth fell for her during his training. Her personality was warm, kind, and infectious. Hell, the Twi'lek would have probably been grinning ear to ear at Drea if her heart hadn't just taken an abusive beating.
"Mission? Are you alright?" Drea asked, genuinely concerned.
Seth stepped toward her. "Is something bothering you, Mish?"
She shook her head. "You guys probably have a lot of catching up to do. I'll just let you do that, ok?"
He frowned. "You sure?" When she answered with a nod, Seth embraced her tightly, kissing the top of her head gently. "Thanks. But remember, dinner tonight. Six o'clock, at that cantina in East Central, ok?"
"Alright," she said quietly. She began to walk towards the door when Drea captured her attention again.
"It was nice to meet you, Mission." She gave a wide, genuine grin. The Twi'lek almost regretted the curt attitude she'd treated her with.
Mission attempted to smile back, unsure if she actually succeeded in pulling one off. "Likewise," she lied.
As she walked away, Mission forced herself to think about her conversation with Juhani. "He's going to dinner with me," she thought to herself. "Not her. He kissed me. Not her." But the pessimist within her couldn't help but add, "Not yet."
Seth massaged his temples, utterly lost in how surreal the moment was. He'd felt the pain of losing Drea, accepted the fact that he'd never see her again, and –admittedly after a few agonizing weeks- gotten over it. Yet here she was, as beautiful and lovable as ever, and Seth wasn't sure if his mind was playing tricks on him.
They were sitting on the railing of one of Ahto City's numerous ocean overlooks. He couldn't help but stare in awe at the horizon. Seeing the sky meet the water was breathtaking, and he silently thanked the creators for such beauty.
He felt Drea's eyes on him, however, and turned to look at her again with a smile. "What?"
"I keep thinking that this is a dream," she said. "That I'm gonna wake up back at the Embassy and you'll be gone again."
Seth grinned. "I'll pinch you."
She laughed quietly. "I'm good, thanks."
"Is it really that hard to believe?" Seth asked.
"Are you kidding?" she suddenly sounded upset. "I thought you were dead! First the Endar Spire was destroyed, and then Taris was wiped out! Was I supposed to expect that a fresh recruit survived all of that?"
"Well… I guess not…" he said weakly.
"Why didn't you contact me? A simple 'Hey, Drea, I'm alive!' would have done nicely!" Her voice was rising in pitch.
"Well, in case you haven't noticed, I've been kind of busy!" he snapped.
"Oh, yes, of course! The life of a Jedi is far too important to bother with former friends. Never mind that I cried for weeks over you. I lost sleep. I didn't eat. All while you've been mixing yourself up with Jedi and Twi'leks!"
Seth took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. Okay?" He touched her chin, tilting her head up to make eye contact. "I know it doesn't make things better, but I really am."
"It's fine," she sighed. "I shouldn't have gotten so worked up about it."
"I should have thought about you in the middle of it all. I didn't even realize what you might be feeling."
"You were preoccupied with trying to escape enemy-controlled territory and training to become a Jedi. It's alright. Besides, you have a new girl who's into your dorky charm anyways." She laughed.
"Who, Mission?" Seth shook his head and laughed. "She's definitely not into my," he raised his fingers to make imaginary quotation marks in the air, "'charm,' if you can call it that. Every time we get somewhere, I do or say something stupid to mess it up."
"So you do have feelings for her!" Drea exclaimed, grinning impishly.
Seth looked like a cannok caught in headlights. "I… Uh… I never said-"
"Relax, Seth. You can tell me this stuff. We were best friends once upon a time, remember?" She rubbed his shoulders comfortingly.
"I remember us being a little more than 'best friends,'" Seth replied.
"Is that what this is about? I'm fine if you've moved on and gotten interested in another girl. I've moved on, too. No heartbreak here."
"Moved on how?" He arched an eyebrow.
"Well… when I was transferred to Manaan, I was a total wreck. I thought you were dead, first of all. What made it worse was that the Silver Sun got into a little skirmish involving an on-board battle. The simulations and training never truly prepared me for the reality of combat."
"Yeah, I know how that feels," he added.
"Well, thank the Force I ended up with a posting on Manaan of all planets," she laughed. "Anyways, I befriended this guy at the cantina when we were off duty. About seventeen or eighteen, tall, curly hair, gorgeous brown eyes…"
"Sounds great," Seth said irritably. "So what then? You started dating?"
Drea shrugged. "Well… yes. I told him everything. That I was a Republic soldier, that I still had feelings for a dead man… well, dead to me at the time… But he didn't care about any of that. I think he truly cared for me. And if my hormones weren't deceiving me, I think I may have loved him a little bit."
Seth swallowed the bile rising in his throat uncomfortably. "Loved? As in past tense?"
She sighed. "My superiors didn't approve for… certain reasons. They forbade me to see him as soon as they found out. Sure, we snuck it a couple of times, but there are very few windows of time when we could plan to get together. Eventually, he and I agreed that it was best for our safety if we didn't see each other. I couldn't get caught with him, or I'd be screwed. That was over a month ago, and I haven't seen him since."
"Oh…" He shifted from one foot to the other, unsure of what to say. "I'm sorry."
"Anyways, the point is: I've moved on. Sure, I've still got some feelings for you, but I also have strong feelings for someone else. So it doesn't bother me that you're interested in Mission."
"But that's the problem. I care about Mish. A lot. But I look at you, and it's bringing up all those feelings I thought were gone." He touched her cheek, looking into her blue eyes with his own intently.
"Oh," she said quietly. "I didn't expect that."
He shook his head frustratedly. "Damn hormones…" he muttered. Seth turned to face the ocean, hoping the view would help clear his mind. The setting sun cast a soft orange glow across the cloudless sky, reflecting off the still surface of the water. It was breathtaking.
Suddenly, realizing the time, he cursed under his breath.
"What?" Drea asked, confused.
"The sunset! I was supposed to meet Mission an hour ago!"
"Uh oh," Drea said quietly. "I'm sorry!"
"No, it's my fault," Seth told her. "But I gotta go. With luck, she'll still be there."
He didn't even wait for Drea to say goodbye before he was sprinting through Ahto City. He received several angry shouts from Selkath warning him not to run, as well as a few degrading jeers from Sith troopers. He paid no mind to either party. He kept hoping that Mission wouldn't be angry with him, but he knew that it was a long shot. Not that he blamed her. He deserved every bit of her anger, and most likely a slap across the face… or two. That is, if he even deserved to be touched by her.
He made it to the cantina in just a little under ten minutes, and smoothed his hair before entering. He saw her almost immediately, and cursed at himself as she turned to look at him for ever thinking that Drea was more beautiful than the Twi'lek standing before him.
He saw nothing but hurt and anger in her chestnut brown eyes, and knowing that he was the cause of such pain felt like a knife to his heart. She walked up to him, biting her lip to keep the tears welling up in her eyes from spilling over. Raising a hand, Mission prepared to slap him, but in the moment Seth squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation, she dropped her hand and shoved past him.
"Mish, wait!" he called after her.
She whirled around angrily. "I've waited long enough for you!" she shouted. Every patron went silent at her words, and Mission simply stormed out, leaving Seth standing shamefully in the cantina.
The Ebon Hawk sat safely in her hangar, the extended loading ramp particularly inviting to an angry, upset young Twi'lek. Mission trudged up the ramp and straight into the one place she wouldn't be bothered: the Ebon Hawk's engine room. She ignored the inquiring looks of the rest of the crew, and was silently thankful that Zaalbar was there to tell the others to leave her alone. She hadn't given the Wookiee nearly enough credit for the good he'd done by her.
But there would be time to give Zaalbar credit later. Right now, she needed to get her mind off of things. Her fingers clenched around the handle of her hydrospanner so tightly that her knuckles went white and the muscles in her palm began to throb from overexertion. She paid it no mind as she opened the hatch to the fusion generator; her hands slipped a few times due to the grease that was already accumulating on her hands, but she managed to gain access.
She tweaked several wires, reconnecting them to fix the hiccup that the crew experienced before the jump to hyperspace. Hopefully, the ship's reaction time would be improved by her efforts. The entire process only took about fifteen minutes, but it still wasn't enough time to dull the pain she felt in her chest.
Why? Why did she care so much? She was fifteen, and therefore Mission knew it wasn't love that she was feeling. But it seemed like so much more than a simple infatuation. This pain that she felt, this heartbreak –dare she say it- couldn't be the result of a one-sided attraction. It felt like utter betrayal. They weren't officially together, she knew that. He was allowed to spend time with any person of the opposite sex if he desired. But Mission had figured that there really had been something there; they were an item, albeit unofficially.
Mission sank to the ground resignedly. She could feel hot tears sting her eyes, and she angrily blinked them back. She would not, could not, cry over something like this. Mission bit down hard on the inside of her cheek to prove this to herself. The metallic taste of blood teased her taste buds, but she didn't care one bit. She glanced down at the hydrospanner in her hand for a moment before impulsively throwing it across the room. It clattered against the floor loudly, causing T3 to roll up beeping wildly in concern.
"The hyperdrive is fine, T3," she said curtly. "So are the engines."
He beeped again, this time nudging her with his front legs. The cold metal sent goosebumps up and down her arms, and she shrugged away. She had to drop her angry attitude for a moment and accept the droid's affections. "I'm fine, too. Just a little upset. I'd rather be left alone, though."
T3 let out a long, disappointed dwooo before rolling out with a subtle whir of his gears.
Softening up for T3 had broken her concentration on pure anger, however, and Mission broke down under the array of suppressed emotions. One lone tear welled up in her eye, spilling over and rolling down her cheek. She felt the wetness but made no motion to wipe it away, letting it splash onto the durasteel floor and mix with the dirt and dust that had gathered there. It ran between the cracks of the floor, a dirty brown color thanks to the dirty conditions of the engine room, until it fell through a metal grating in the center of the room. Realizing that she was shedding tears over the situation, Mission slammed her fist against the rough plating of the engine, throbbing pain coursing through her hand. She could hardly feel it.
"It's not worth it," she whispered to herself. She couldn't stop bouncing back and forth between a romantic relationship with Seth and a friendship. She had to stay on one side. And Mission knew which side had more stability.
She was done with him. He was a good friend, the best she'd ever had. But he had played her heart one too many times.
Her fists clenched with her newfound resolve, and when Seth had come onboard later that night, she didn't say a word to him.
It was awkward.
That was the first thing Seth had noticed with Mission when he finally returned to the Ebon Hawk. She didn't act angry with him, or upset, or anything like he'd expected. In fact, she went along as if he weren't there at all. She had brushed past him as soon as he'd walked up the loading ramp, walking into the women's dormitory without so much as a glance at him.
He'd called after her, knocked on the door, waited for her to emerge… nothing.
Later, he was fixing himself a meal to satisfy his never-ending appetite when she came in. He stopped in the middle of making his sandwich and watched as she fixed herself a cup of caffa as if he wasn't standing right next to her the entire time. The distinct smell of mocha invaded his nose, enveloping him in the sweetness that Mission often smelled like. Not an overwhelming sweet, but one that had just enough to balance the scent of engine oil she gained every time the Ebon Hawk had engine failure, which happened a little too often for the crew's comfort. She was wearing her nightclothes- a form-fitting white tank top that showed the muscles moving in her back as she prepared her caffa and five-inch black shorts that displayed long legs that were most often covered by her gray smuggler's pants during the day. Seth sighed inwardly. He thought that her anger hurt, but her ultimate dismissal of his existence felt like a knife wound to his heart, one that twisted the insides of his chest and brought him an emotional pain that could be topped by few things he'd felt before in his life.
"Carth, Bastila, and Juhani got the Sith spy to crack," he said conversationally. She knew this already, of course. She had been there for the debrief. But he had to start somewhere.
She stirred a small amount of cream into her caffa wordlessly. Seth took a deep breath and continued. "We're gonna break into the base tomorrow. You have my back, right?"
Mission looked up at him, brown eyes boring into his soul. She knew who else was going; it had also been mentioned at the debrief. Drea had been assigned to accompany Seth and Juhani. She shook her head. "Someone else already has it," she said bluntly, and retired to her room with the mug of caffa in hand.
The next morning, Seth left the Republic Embassy for the Sith Base, with Juhani on his left, and Drea on his right. A full squad. Yet to him, it felt completely empty.