VIII

GRACE

Experience – Ludovico Einaudi, Daniel Hope, I Virtuosi Italiani

Days passed in a whirlwind and somewhere after her fourth day in Narnia, Grace had stopped counting the rise and fall of the sun.

Every day brought the same routine. Wake, work, eat, sleep, wake, work, eat, sleep and on and on it went. It was hard to know where one day ended and the other began.

She longed for the feel of the gentle sun on her skin and fresh air in her lungs. Things she had been bereft of due to the state of her home, however, Casys would not take her outside of the Cair's walls.

Whatever King Edmund had said to him had ceased any thoughts of strolling the grounds in Casys's mind and Grace watched mournfully as the Centaur grew more agitated.

The lack of event in her life allowed her sadness and frustration to bubble at the brims of her self-control. The only peace Grace found was through her work in the kitchens, and even that was not enough to keep her occupied all day.

When they were free, Casys toured her around Cair Paravel. It was surprisingly big considering its name meant "lesser court" - A fun fact which Mrs Badger had let her in on. She wasn't quite sure what the court was lesser than, but the information was amusing just the same.

While they traipsed the spiralling corridors, Casys told her stories of Narnia. There was something about his smooth voice as it wove around the words. If he wanted to, Casys could have described the most boring plot and characters and Grace would have hung on to every word. It was a trait that she both envied and admired.

Over the span of three days she listened to his words, growing used to the gravelly tones of the Centaur. Her favorite story had been the of the minor god, Bacchus who had found a woman marooned by her husband on an island.

As time went on, however, their adventures became fewer and fewer. The areas to which Grace was allowed did not leave much to explore, nor did they offer anything worthwhile to pass the time.

The guest wing held many rooms but none were prepared except for the Ambassador's and her own. The Calormene Ambassador offered no conversation and preferred to stay in the company of the Kings and Queens. So much the better, Grace knew if she had to maintain a conversation with the pompous man sneering at her below his nose, she might just smack him.

The staff of Cair Paravel had begun to give her a wide berth, with all but the Kitchen staff looking at her warily as she passed them. Grace couldn't fathom the reason for this change and worse yet, she found it isolating and lonely. Only Casys and Mrs Badger truly spoke to her and even then it was limited.

In her tours of the Cair, She hoped to find a library but was disappointed to find that Cair Paravel did not hold one of any substantial value. Casys had told her that any books would be held in the Crown's personal studies. The production of books had been a slow since the Great Peace began. Many of the trees were sentient or tied to dryad spirits and so were protected by law.

Although Grace was disappointed with the lack of written stories to sink her teeth into, she was pleased to hear of a world that valued and saw to the protection of life in all forms. It was a refreshing point of view compared to the productive consumeristic views she was raised in.

Apart from the kitchens and the guest wing, there was not much else to be seen from the allowance King Edmund had provided her. The spiralling halls lead to many rooms meant for socialising and relaxing between appointments and events, neither of which Grace had lined up on her calendar.

Grace had sworn she heard music softly wafting through the hallways one morning on her way to the kitchens, but by the time she had finished work, the music was nowhere to be heard. She had not heard the music since.

Eventually, Grace grew tired of exploring the maze of castle walls and began to retire straight to her room from the kitchens. She felt guilty watching Casys shift uncomfortably on his hooves in the hallway and had to do something to get him outside. She figured if she didn't leave her room, the guards posted in the guest wing could watch her. This way, Casys was relieved of his duties for most of the day.

The problem with her room was there was too much space to think. It was finely decorated with furniture made of dark cherry wood, carved with endlessly beautiful images of Narnian scenery and its inhabitants. Grace had traced the images so many times that she could picture them in her mind in clear detail and if someone had asked her to redraw them, they would have thought she had been the original artist.

At some point, Grace had braved sleeping in the bed again. The bedsheets were soft, too soft. Since her escape attempt, someone had come and changed her sheets to something lighter. The colour and texture reminded her of the clouds that floated amidst the blue sky and hey were lined with silver silk ribbon at the edges which surprisingly didn't catch on Grace's body when she moved. There was no need for a doona as the room retained the pleasant warmth from the days sun.

All this comfort amounted to nothing when Grace realised she could not sleep the time away – or at least, not willingly. She tossed and turned for hours but found no rest. It was as if someone had imbued her bones with the energy she'd been long missing. In Grace's eyes, it was a sick joke.

She was awake and had nothing else to think about except for her situation which turned out to be a curse.

If Grace thought she had come to terms with what had happened to her, she was wrong. It was like her mind had put her thoughts and emotions in a box at first and taped it over fifty times with packing tape, but the longer the box was kept closed, the more it rattled. And it had begun rattling hard.

The more time passed, the less the rise and fall of the sun meant anything to her. She had begun to track time by her emotions. When she awoke and her cheeks were wet and salty it was morning. When she stared unseeingly at the canopy above and did not see her glowing sticker stars it was night.

Eventually she began to wonder if she was sleeping at all. Every time she caught her reflection, her eyes looked as though they had sunken further into her face.

Lucy had told her to play her part; Let her brothers see that she could be trusted and then she could go home. But how long did trust take; especially where King Edmund was concerned? She would be well past sleep deprivation by the time he came around. Seeing as she'd yet to meet King Peter; He was not a likely avenue to freedom, either.

Grace thought sullenly as she perched on her window in the mid-afternoon sun. If someone who went missing was not found within a few days, the chances of finding them dwindled. She was sure it had been almost a week, if not more. When she'd asked Casys what day it was that morning he had spoken a word in a language she had never heard so there was no hope of calculating time.

Three sharp raps tore Grace's eyes from the painted window frame. Still, she didn't move an inch.

Many days had passed with nothing to disturb her solitude. Why should now be any different?

She was convinced that she had imagined the noise until it repeated, only this time the noise was hollower, as if someone was pounding the wood with their fist.

"Come in," She croaked.

The door opened and Queen Lucy emerged from the shadowed hall. She shut it behind her with a quiet click and crossed the room; her simple dress of rich fabrics softly trailing behind her.

At the sight of her friend, Grace nearly sobbed.

"Oh, Grace," Lucy whispered when she reached her side.

Grace couldn't speak, her throat was too thick.

"Casys told me that you've been staying in here," Lucy continued, "I'm so sorry. I would have come sooner if I could."

Grace shook her head and closed her burning eyes.

Lucy sighed, "It's not right to hold it in, you know?"

Grace nodded; eyes still shut so tightly that her skin crinkled in uneven lines.

Lucy did not press her and Grace was grateful for a moment of silence to collect herself.

Beside her, Lucy had focused on retying one of Grace's sleeves, Grace had hardly noticed how loose the ties at her elbow had gotten, the clothes were tight enough that they stayed put without tying them properly.

"If you're feeling up to it, my sister and I would like to invite you to tea?" Lucy proposed.

"I don't know," Grace mumbled thickly.

Lucy sat down beside her, the wooden windowsill creaking faintly under the added weight, "It might be a good distraction."

"It might be," Grace allowed, "But I'm not worried about that."

"What are you worried about?"

"If I step out of line again, Casys would get into trouble and your brother would make good on his threat to lock me in here permanently," Grace said sullenly.

"Casys won't get into trouble, you'll be with me," Lucy smiled as she assessed Grace with knowing eyes, "As for the latter, how is that different from your current course of action?"

Grace stilled, "I guess it isn't."

"I wouldn't worry so much about Edmund. He seems stern and unforgiving but he is kind and understanding. The first is only his outer shell."

"I'm not questioning your brothers character," Grace grizzled, "I'm just acknowledging that a threat is just that. They should be taken seriously."

Lucy leaned back suddenly, her eyes darting around the room in search of something, then she stopped and smiled at Grace humorously, "I'm sorry, I thought my brother had entered the room."

Grace laughed, shortly at first like she hadn't expected the sound, then heartily when Lucy joined her. It felt good to laugh, although it was somewhat foreign after a week in silence. When the feeling died down and she could breathe again she said, "I must be taking this too seriously."

"I hadn't noticed," Lucy grinned.

Grace returned a smile, but it slipped slightly the longer she thought, "But I do need to take it seriously on some level, Lucy. I can't continue to sit in this room for hours with nothing to do. If I'm idle, there's too much space to think."

"What's wrong with thinking?" Lucy asked.

"Everything."

Lucy regarded her cautiously but Grace did not elaborate, "It is easy for us, I suppose. As Kings and Queens there is always something to fill our time. I've never thought of it from the perspective of a guest before."

Grace caught the way Lucy tiptoed around the idea that she was a hostage. If she were a simple guest and allowed to explore Cair Paravel, Grace was sure that she would be occupied for a long time. As it stands, a hostage cannot be allowed to wander freely for fear that they may intercept confidential information.

"We've reached out to all our good friends. I'm sure something of interest will show it's face soon," Lucy reasoned.

"We?" Grace asked, doubtful that anyone was putting more effort into this than Lucy.

"Susan and I have written some letters."

"Oh."

Grace was touched. She was sure that Queen Susan would have wanted to keep her distance, considering that she and Grace had not hit it off the way that Grace and Lucy had. Not to mention Grace's dismal address towards her when they first met. She really needed someone to teach her how to curtsy.

Grace took Lucy's hand and squeezed it gently, "Thank you."

She was rewarded with another easy smile.

"You should come and thank Susan too," Lucy quipped, "At tea."

Grace sighed, "I suppose."

Lucy took her hand as she began to lead her away from the window frame, "Good. I think I'll send for some sandwiches too. When was the last time you ate?"