The books mar with the vice of water and chakra. Its heftiness seeps through layers with confidence, infiltrating pages and merging lines of written ink.
He holds them firm, perhaps with more force than necessary, as if afraid they will slide into nothingness.
Between the emptiness of a vast alleyway, she halts at the call of her name.
"Honoka!"
His voice carries into the hollow atmosphere and resounds eerily against the blackened walls of neglected architecture. The space connecting them is a wide pathway that runs parallel into the infinite shadows.
When she turns, there is an odd expression that imprints itself beneath her very blank, subdued features. Her clothes are drenched with the heaviness of torment, but the trail of water that tracks behind her is undoubtedly deceitful.
"Shisui," she says vacantly, "how do you do?"
Behind her is that strange building that brought a questionable chill to his conscious since he first saw her emerge from it.
"Your…books," he replies uneasily, "You left them behind."
He does not question the titles. If perhaps this was the first time he met her, the intrigue may have pushed him to enquire. But his knowledge of her quells any further inquisitiveness stemming from books that teaches about 'how to hate someone' and 'coping with losing friends.'
She takes them from him without speaking, albeit her sudden proximity brings forth that same involuntary jolt.
"I'm sorry what happened back there. Are you okay?" He asks.
"Shisui, are you checking up on me to ensure that I am not hurt?"
Her blank features briefly morphs into interest.
"I…suppose so," he answers quickly.
"Yes, I am fine. Thank you for your concern and enquiry."
She gives an awkward bow that stems word for word from a book rather than the common sense of social etiquette. Regardless, the extreme politeness sits uneasily in the air.
"I wish you a goodnight," she says.
When she turns for that same building, the words leave him in a flurry of apprehension and curiosity.
"Do you need something in there?"
She returns his comment with a bemused watch.
"Need something? I do not. Lord Mizuku is just waiting for me," she answers.
His reaction stalls, as if he did not fully anticipate her blunt response.
"Right, your relationship with him."
"Relationship? I do not understand."
Even speaking of such topics, he should not dismiss Honoka's naivety towards complex social understanding.
"I never knew you had that sort of arrangement."
"Shisui, why do you look troubled?"
At this point, Honoka may have evolved to label the disconcerted expression permeating his features.
"Sorry, that was rude of me," he replies.
She stares at him for an unusually long time, as if she is searching for a specific non-verbal explanation.
"Are you perhaps troubled about my arrangements with Lord Mizuku?"
"I'm not going to question what you do in your private life," he answers swiftly.
He is renowned when it comes to withholding negative emotions and maintaining perfect composure, albeit there is a consistent common denominator that breaks this flawless self-control - Honoka.
His agitation may show but he is unaware of its extent until Honoka speaks.
"It is an order."
"An order?"
For the first time, he questions as if he does not understand, yet every part of him comprehended every letter.
"Shisui, just as you are ordered to complete missions, to spy, to infiltrate, to assassinate, all in the name of protecting the village, I too have orders and missions to complete in the interest of protecting people here."
"How does this have anything to do with protecting people?"
"Who knows."
Her short statement translates to an obedient worker who does not question authority.
"Shisui, I may have something that may assist in quelling your unease."
She pulls out a stack of paper from her bag and hands them to him.
"Please pardon the disorderly writing but I have been working very hard on this conundrum. I have come up with a hypothesis based on the circumstances surrounding recent events and the severing of our friendship contract."
Shisui has little time to grasp the numerous amount of numbers, graphs and charts before Honoka continues to speak in a very brisk and monotonous tone.
"I have noticed a trend, that the more I converse in close proximity with you, the further you distance yourself from me. This seemingly worsens with frequency. When I speak of the word distance, it means both physically and emotionally. You may also be wondering how I have come to such hypothesis," she gives a brief pause, then continues,
"Well if you look here on these charts," she points to a piece of paper with numerous columns, "this documents the amount of time I have counted that you have diverged from your usual self when we still had our friendship contract. The only issue is that I have only recently started recording the data, even though the issue started months ago. However, I have sufficient recent data to make up for the earlier ones. Regardless, it seems to me that these newly spawned feelings I have in your presence, and some other new uncomfortable ones, have been directly connected to the above circumstances."
At the conclusion of her explanation, Shisui is looking unexpectedly intrigued. He does not fault her meticulous attention to detail nor the flawless explanation that he finds so unquestionably accurate.
When he gives her an unintended smile that expounds a composure he does not recognise, Honoka's bland expression turns into bewilderment.
"Well then, what will you do with all this data?" He asks lightly.
As if unsure of the earlier meaning behind his smile, Honoka is looking slightly relieved at his question.
"Yes, I am glad you asked. If you look here," she shows him another piece of paper with numerous writing, "these are some possible solutions to counteract the newly spawned feelings based on my findings. As you can see, one of this is to restrict the amount of time in your presence, whether you are aware of it or not-"
She stops abruptly. There is an unusual look of paralysis spread across her demeanour, as if she has spoken something she should not have.
"-another measure is keeping the mind occupied with something completely unrelated," she finishes hastily.
She keeps silent for several moments before speaking again.
"Do not worry, Shisui. I will resolve this and I will find a solution to the problem. Please be assured that my impeding behaviour will drastically reduce in the coming weeks as I implement these measures. I have read some interesting theories that I may be able to convert into practice."
Honoka steps back and gives him a long bow of deepest respect.
Shisui does not tune in to her actions, rather it is one of those rarer moments where he remains unusually attentive to the scientific expository of her relationship experiment.
In that same moment, he can hear Itachi's forewarning of Honoka's needless actions to protect him. Shisui has not forgotten the ideology around her 'unnecessary suffering.' Even if he has suppressed those words for quite some time, it may be Honoka's incessant need to prove and resolve an issue with no definitive answer that has unravelled his desires to follow through with Itachi's suggestion.
"Sorry, Honoka," he says quietly.
He grips either side of her shoulders.
In that moment, Honoka sends him a look of reticent that does little to pacify the insidious motive behind his impending action. Her sudden faltering smile is like the infrequent moments of sun and rain, short-lived yet fascinating.
"Shisui, I believe this is the first time I have seen the Sharingan up close," she says surprisingly.
She stares at him before a frown suffuses her features.
"But, I don't think I have ever seen a pattern like that one before," she continues.
Shisui gives her a soft transient smile.
"Is that so?"
It is the first time he is in doubt of his decision, yet either way, regret will follow him.
Sorry, Honoka, a thousand times and more.