"Love…equates to…" her voice echoes vacantly across the endless rows of empty library tables, "…the following elements."
She writes as she speaks. It is a habit that gets her mind working, and it is only of use when she is alone. That and to ensure she is not criticised for having imaginary conversations with herself. She learnt quite early on that such habits did not bode well in the vicinity of strangers. For Honoka, her social response is more of a trial and error – she simply cannot grasp what many people deem as 'common sense.' How is it that someone can blatantly claim that some actions and or behaviours are common sense when they have never trialled them before?
"Common sense is about sound judgement in manners that are practical and shared between people in society. For example, it is common sense to keep your voice down in a library."
The passage had evoked more questions than answers. She understands the concept of common sense, perhaps in a manner that pertains to rules and regulations. It is a ubiquitous rule that one must be quiet when in the library. But how far does common sense go? There are no hard and fast rules about social interactions. Individual responses are malleable depending on the situation and who they interact with. Speaking in the same manner on the same topic could evoke differing responses from two people. This is where the nuance of common sense comes in. But Honoka cannot comprehend such a fine distinction. To her, the idea of common sense does not extend to social interactions. If there are no rules and regulations to guide someone through their actions or behaviours, then it cannot be deemed as a shared sense between people. In other words, this would not be deemed as common sense.
Then why do they say she lacks common sense when it comes to social skills?
She does not wish to blame others. If they have no trouble interacting in a socially appropriate manner, or if they have never been called out for having zero common sense, then perhaps it is just her.
"…Care, protection, nurturing and…discomfort…"
She stares confoundedly at the last word. A contradiction of feelings that are more inexplicable than the universe itself. Yet she is still in need of a solution to her current dilemma. Shisui's blatant refusal to her suggestion has already churned a thousand new alternatives to the methodology. But so far, she has not reached an appropriate formula that would assist with her investigation.
For the next thirty minutes, she meticulously separates the two 'experiments' into distinctive notebooks. A solution to retract those uncomfortable feelings she has for Shisui and, to understand the meaning behind those feelings. She sets 'love' and its elements beneath the latter experiment and prioritises the former as a matter of urgency. Perhaps then she may be able to locate an answer for the other? The two do overlap in many aspects.
"Honoka?"
The voice has components of familiarity, but she may not be fully acquainted with its owner to immediately react.
Um…Honoka?"
At the second announcement, Honoka finally diverts her attention.
Nanami is watching speculatively, as if she is uncertain whether Honoka would recognise her.
"Nanami, how do you do?"
Her tone is impassive as ever, but there are traces of wariness that keeps the atmosphere heightened.
"I'm…I'm fine," Nanami hesitates, then speaks uncertainly, "Honoka…I'm here to…"
She breathes deeply.
"…I need to talk to you about Shisui."
Honoka's interest piques. And it may be to do with the topic rather than the person she is conversing with.
"Yes, what would you like to discuss?"
There is a momentary silence, as if Nanami is uncertain whether she should proceed. But she breathes deep again and speaks firmly.
"I…I heard that you and Shisui are no longer friends…I mean I was told so," at this point, Nanami is looking deeply uncomfortable, "so I am curious to know why you are always still…still...as if you are still…friends?"
Nanami's concept of friendship in this instance may have an ulterior meaning. But Honoka has difficulties understanding this nuance. Friendship is still attached to its literal meaning in her world.
"I am uncertain as to what you are trying to convey. My relationship with Shisui is certainly not on a friendship level."
According to her contract that is.
At Honoka's response, Nanami is looking displeased.
"Why are you always around him? Of course your recent mission with him cannot be helped, but it's been three days and you're still…even then prior to the mission I feel as if…you are too close," she pauses then breathes deep in an attempt to pacify a wave of contempt, "Honoka, I know I shouldn't be questioning your actions. You are free to do whatever you like, but the reason I'm saying this is because Shisui is uncomfortable in your presence. I care about his wellbeing, and these are the things I have been observing. Shisui is too kind to speak out against it for fear of hurting you."
"Causing Shisui discomfort is certainly not my intention," Honoka answers swiftly.
"Also..."
There is now a steely edge to Nanami's tone, as if her next argument comes down to more of an accusation.
"I know you are from Root. Danzo isn't very favourable amongst many villagers, particularly the Uchiha. You should know that there's been antagonistic friction between the two. What I'm trying to say is, I don't trust you. I don't trust your intentions as a Root member and your constant shadowing of Shisui. You may have trouble deciphering certain social situations, but even someone with social ineptness would understand that 'friendship' does not entail following the person around. You know that's stalking, right?"
She stares reproachfully at Honoka's vacant expression.
"Nanami, I believe you are misunderstood. The definition of friendship between Shisui and myself are written clearly in our contract," she rummages through her bag and pulls out a folder labelled 'Shisui - Friendship Contract,' and displays it before an incredulous looking Nanami, "if you look here," she flicks to page two and points to a long list of detailed paragraphs and its proceeding subsections, "the contract stipulates very clearly here the meaning of friendship and what it entailed for both of us. The contract sets out that once a week we would organise to-"
"Honoka, that has nothing to do with what I am trying to express," Nanami interrupts, "what went on between you and Shisui under that…contract…" she seems to have trouble expounding the word, "is none of my business. I am talking about the aftermath, that your behaviour is a cause for concern, and it is making Shisui uncomfortable. He may not have explicitly stated it, but it is obvious to everyone around who cares about him."
Honoka is rarely impatient, but Nanami's comment evokes an element of frustration that is covered only by a thin veil of monotony.
"As I reiterate, it is not my intention to cause Shisui any discomfort. I care very much for his wellbeing. In fact, I have been working on how best to evaluate and resolve these feelings I have for him," she points to a mass of papers lined with complicated graphs and charts, "and how it has for so long caused him unnecessary problems. Therefore, I feel my research is contributing towards a positive outcome and how it may-"
"Shisui is not a guinea pig for your experiments!" Nanami interjects angrily.
She stares furiously at the strewn paperwork across Honoka's table.
"He is a person with feelings and values. How dare you treat him as a research tool. Your own feelings should not be something that involves keeping him in an endless cycle of experiments. If you have feelings you need to resolve, do it on your own and stop dragging others into it. It is not fair on them. Stick to what you know around chemicals! Good day to you."