Chapter 19

Harry closed his eyes as rays from the sun radiated against his paler skin. The term had finally come to a close and with it ending the craziest term he had at Hogwarts thus far. A loud whistle blew as Harry opened his eyes to Hogwarts Express that stood in yards before him.

As he stepped onto the train followed by the auror Sarah who was transporting him, he found himself the focus of many scowls, fearful glances, and hushed whispers as he made his way down the corridor.

"Here is fine," Harry said as he peered into an empty compartment in the back of the train.

"I'll be on the outside, Mr. Potter." Sarah replied stoically.

"It's just Harry. Just call me Harry."

Not that it mattered, as soon as they would leave the platform Harry had a plan for getting rid of Sarah, and Tonks would impersonate Sarah for any updates required of Tonks. Sarah gave a firm node as Harry closed the compartment, throwing his trunk on top of his seat, and plopping down next to the window seat.

Yesterday, Tracy had finally been declared missing; Presumed to be missing the same night Slughorn had gone missing. At this point, Harry could remember every detail of her burial site Daphne and Blaise had made for her. Like a ghost, her memory followed him and taunted him throughout the week with questions of who he really was? He couldn't get her off his mind nor could he answer the question that seemed to come as a result of it all.

Wasn't he going to feel just as empty after killing Voldemort?

The sliding of his compartment door came to Harry's attention as Hermione cautiously stepped inside his cabin.

"Hey," Hermione said quietly as she stood in front of the door. "Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah," Harry said as he lazily brought his attention toward her.

Hermione hesitantly came forward and sat across from him; her eyes gesturing toward the compartment door. Harry gave an off-handed wave of his hand toward the door before directing his attention back to Hermione.

"You're free to speak. She won't hear anything."

Hermione seemed relieved, "It's nice to hear the real you."

Her response drew a gentle smile from Harry, he had often forgotten how perceptive she could be. "Was it that noticeable?" Harry asked.

"Well, the intruder is certainly skillful, but uncharacteristically clumsy," Hermione admitted. " and Ron tried to make good on the deal, but you-I mean-they had no clue."

"Is that why you're here?"

Hermione shook her head, "No...I'll just get straight to the point. I know we're not exactly close, but I-I want in."

"In?"

"I have a lot of suspicions, Harry...about who you are and your importance to the wizarding world," Hermione began carefully. "For one, I've come to the conclusion Dumbledore raised you and trained you to fight Voldemort."

"Hermione-" Harry began cautiously.

"But none of them matter to me except for the one I mentioned," Hermione reassured. "I'm here because I want to fight with you and Dumbledore. In the secret organization he leads. That I assume you've been trained to be a part of."

Harry carefully studied Hermione. He could see the earnest in her eyes; she wasn't going to take no for an answer. For the most part, Hermione had been an annoying part of Hogwarts with her constant prying, but there was no denying she was someone he could trust, in both skill and action.

"Okay."

Hermione seemed bewildered, "It's... that easy?"

"At this point, I trust you know what you're asking to be a part of," Harry said as he brought his attention back to the flat landscape out the window. "Enjoy the holidays, Hermione. When it's time to fight, I know you'll be there."

"There's just one thing, If you don't mind me asking-", Hermione began. "Was...Tracy...was she…"

"Yes. She was," Harry admitted flatly.

"Did you-"

"Happy Holidays, Hermione," Harry said as he continued to peer out the window. It was quiet only for a moment before Hermione stood up.

"Happy Holidays, Harry...I hope It's restful for you."

"I don't know if I'll be able to contact you, but I'll try my best to figure out if there's anything I can decipher from the book within the weekend," Blaise whispered as he pulled his luggage from the rack. "You try not to have too much fun with Harry."

"Thanks," Daphne said as she rolled her eyes. "I'll try not to."

Truthfully, she had been nervous all week. Her thoughts had been carved between the worry of her sister, the loss of her Dad and her home, and her last encounter with Harry that night; even with the giant's toe worth of classwork she was behind on.

"You know, there's always room in Malfoy Manor," Draco said boastfully as he puffed his chest, arrogantly, which subsequently made Daphne want to vomit. "I'll show you some real fun."

"I would rather choke."

Draco frowned as he opened the compartment door, "You so want me, Greengrass."

Blaise snickered as he pushed Draco out the way of the compartment door, "You're the saddest human being I know."

Daphne rolled her eyes as she grabbed her own luggage and followed Draco and Blaise out of the compartment.

"At least, I am human, Zabini."

Blaise replied coolly, "Whatever."

As she exited the train onto the platform; it was quite empty compared to the amount of students and families that would usually be present. Among the families that were there, many had embraced their children tightly while some were even in tears. With the insulation of Hogwarts; it was easy to forget that many were dying in this war.

"Where are you supposed to meet him?" Blaise asked as he brought himself beside Daphne. "I'll walk you out toward muggle land."

"There's a...muggle...bakery a little ways down the street, apparently," Daphne replied as they moved toward the barrier. Why was nothing ever simple with Harry? Finally, Daphne admitted uncertainly, "Although, I'm not sure what kind pastries muggles eat."

"Interesting, I wasn't sure muggles had the luxury of bakeries?" Blaise mused as they went through the barrier.

"Muggles are so weird."

"They aren't the most resourceful creatures," Blaise replied as they stopped a little way's past the entrance. " I guess I'll see you later."

"Thanks for your help," Daphne said as Blaise gave a lazy wave of his hand as he entered back into the barrier. As she moved away from the platform nine ¾, Daphne felt a crushing realization that this had been her first time alone all week. Of course, being surrounded with the strange muggles was no relief.

Daphne reached into her backpocket to pull out the note; the fake Harry had given to her discreetly a few days ago. On it were the directions to this bakery, scribbled in what she assumed was Harry's terrible handwriting.

Carefully, she followed Harry's hieroglyphics and although the walk toward the bakery wasn't long, it felt like eons had passed as she finally saw the entrance to the strange shop. Her heart was racing as she approached; she wasn't sure if it was because of Harry, the muggles, or both. There was a pleasant smell of cinnamon and apple that confronted her as she opened the doors of the bakery. The muggles inside stood around eating various baked goods, or in queue for some, some she recognized like cakes and tarts, and others she had never seen before. Daphne sat her trunk off against the wall.

"Daphne, over here."

Daphne looked over to see Harry at a small table; off to the side. He flashed a brief smile as Daphne made her way closer.

"I didn't know what you would like, so I got you one of my favorite muggle pastries. A cinnamon roll," Harry said as he took a bite of his own.

"How do you know about this place?" Daphne asked as she sat down, eyeing the gooey looking pastry in front of her.

"The shop was opened by a muggleborn. The owner supplies pastries and such for the train staff, and there's a floo in the back." Harry said as he wiped his mouth, "It's also just a quiet place."

Daphne nodded vaguely as she poked the gooey looking pastry.

"It's not going to bite you; it's just a sweet," Harry teased as he took another bite of his own.

Daphne reluctantly picked up the pastry, before stopping, "Wait, aren't you supposed to have an auror with you?"

Harry casually pointed toward someone sweeping across the bakery. Daphne looked at the woman who was briskly sweeping the floor. She seemed happy as she swept all around the table, oblivious to the world around her.

"Sarah will be fine here for a while." Harry said vaguely. "It's being taken care of."

"Oh." Daphne said as she slowly bit into her pastry. The surprise must have been evident on her face as Harry laughed.

"What's so funny?" Daphne asked as she glared at Harry.

Harry shrugged jovially, "It's just funny seeing a pureblood out of her element. I'm actually quite surprised I didn't have to rescue you from the muggle street signs."

"It's not like you made it easy," Daphne said, "You have the hand-writing of an actual ghoul."

The insult must have come to a surprise to Harry as a sheepish grin fell on his face for just a moment.

"You still made it, didn't you?" Harry teased as he ripped into the last bites of his own pastry. "So the shop basement has a floo network that we'll use to get to our destination, but If you want I was thinking we walk off our pastry's for a bit? It's a nice day"

"Wouldn't that be dangerous...you could be spotted?" Daphne asked hesitantly as she wiped her mouth from the surprisingly delicious pastry.

Harry gave a smug smile as he stood up, "I wouldn't worry, I have you to jump in front of any hexes."

Daphne threw her napkin down, "I should have let it hit you."

Harry laughed as he motioned toward the exit. It was weird..seeing Harry so relaxed and playful. As she looked around; she could understand why. There wasn't a wizard in sight; just muggles. There was no one glancing at their table, no one giving hateful looks, and no one with any expectation about what they should be doing. She had never really understood muggles, but maybe she didn't need too.

"Dumbledore used to take me down here a lot as a younger kid. I would play with muggle children or we would just walk around and let me ask a ton of questions," Harry reflected as they walked down the moderately-crowded pavement.

"Like?"

"Like if the ministry knew about all the dangerous animals they had," Harry said as he pointed to a strange moving armored wagon. There were quite a few of them in different colors and shapes, all moving after one another. She hadn't noticed them before.

"Did you...uhh…ever get the answer?"

"It's called a car. They're quite useful...the ministry has a fleet of them" Harry said to the surprise of Daphne. "It's hard not to look down on muggles, but they survive and flourish without magic and that's not easy. I know I couldn't."

Daphne folded her arms, "I never thought of it like that. They've just always seemed like... a different species."

At least she had always heard of them referred to in that manner. They were to be pitied for an existence without magic, and as she observed different muggles, as they made their way past them, she wondered if they would ever realize just how tragic life without magic was.

"It seems peaceful sometimes. A life without magic," Harry said as he looked over at an elderly muggle couple, chatting on the bench, "Sometimes...just briefly, I think I would prefer not having magic."

The statement was surprising to Daphne, at first. It felt heretical, but Daphne recalled that night when Harry spilled his emptiness in his drowsy rambles. Even a week later, she couldn't help but still feel particularly dirty from what she heard. She couldn't imagine the magnitude of what Harry felt, but it was enough to make someone think about giving up magic was a serious woe.

"Where do you see yourself in sixty years, Harry?"

"Let's turn around here," Harry said as they came to the end of a pavement. Harry turned stuffing his hands in his pockets as they turned around. "As for your question...I don't know."

"What do you like to do?"

"It's not that simple."

"I guess what makes you happy?"

Harry gave a dejected shrug, "I-maybe...Getting stronger...training."

Daphne gave a wintry look of disapproval, "You can't be serious?"

"What?"

"Harry, in sixty years, what would you be training for?"

"I told you it's complicated." Harry replied coldly, "It doesn't matter what makes me happy."

Daphne looked over at the elderly muggle couple they had passed earlier, as she looked over, they were absorbed in each other; content as the rest of the world passed them by.

"I think it does," Daphne said, "You remember that night on the tower?"

"Of Course. "

"Up until that point, I had been so jealous of you," Daphne said calmly. "How it was possible that you weren't falling apart from everything you had experienced when I could barely stop myself from crying every minute... "

Saying it out loud made her almost want to laugh; it had only been months but the memory felt like years ago. Daphne continued, "You were always composed, you were powerful, and you just seemed... invincible. Even the night of the attack, I felt so...safe with you even when you were the last thing I saw before I thought I was going to die."

Harry's cold green eyes focused on her as she met his stare.

"And when you told me that night...you ignored the pain...the darkness. I was devastated because then I knew you were just as broken as I was...probably more so," Daphne said. "but I refused to accept your solution and I came to the conclusion that we can't ignore the pain, but we don't have to let it swallow us."

Harry's eyes fell away from Daphne as he looked up at the bakery they had left from.

"Interesting, " Harry replied flatly to Daphne's dismay. His apathy filled her with a slight anger.

"Harry, I know it seems silly, but even through the pain of watching my father die, my family home burn down to the ground, and a girl dies all the same week." Daphne said. Her comments drew the concerned look of a random passerby. "I could smile...I could pick my head up and continue moving because my sister was alive, and I had friends that would risk their life for me, and I had stupid muggle pastries."

Harry sighed, "Daphne, I wish it were that si-"

"Then make it simple," Daphne pleaded. She was speaking to herself as much as she was speaking to him, "Don't let it intimidate you from the good. From finding joy despite all the shitty moments in life."

Daphne could see his hardened expression lighten in consideration before he opened the door. As Daphne went through, Harry's response was barely audible but she heard it.

"I'm trying."

As Harry exited the floo, Daphne stood her arms crossed and her luggage on the ground. Her eyes betrayed her as Dumbledore stood in front of her. It was the common look many wizards had in their first time standing in front of one of the greatest wizards of all time; a dazed and starstrucked look.

"-the events that took place were unfortunate, and I hope you and your sister can find this place somewhat comforting," Dumbledore said softly before turning to Harry. "Welcome back, Harry."

Harry gave a reluctant smile.

"We have plenty to discuss, but I believe you should show to her room so she can see her sister. Too much time away from a sibling can cause severe earaches, and we mustn't have that. " Dumbledore said to the odd looks of Daphne. "Ms. Greengrass, I hope you understand the restrictions we will have to place on you and your sister. For the safety of both of us."

"Yes, Head-"

"Dumbledore is appropriate, Ms. Greengrass."

Harry brought himself in between the two, breaking the spell over Daphne. "Follow me; I'll give you a quick tour."

Harry walked past Dumbledore out of the door followed by Daphne; who closely walked with him. He couldn't help but feel strange that someone new was in the headquarters again; even living here for the remainder of the Holiday.

"So that's the door to the kitchen, Kreacher will bring you food occasionally." Harry said as they made their way into the hallway, "I'm sure you remember it from last week."

"So how much of a prisoner am I?" Daphne asked as they made their way through the hallway.

Harry sighed as he turned the corner up the stairs, "Just until tomorrow's meeting and hopefully, things will feel less like a prison."

Tomorrow. The Big Order Meeting. He was sure it would be eventful.

"Was the muggle pastry an attempt to ease me into this?"

Harry gave a curt smile, "Did it work?"

Truthfully, Harry hadn't anticipated being there that long but he had to be sure they hadn't been followed, but he hadn't anticipated Daphne to channel the thoughts he felt Tracy had began to haunt him with either.

"Slightly," Daphne replied as they stopped in front of a room. Harry knocked on the door three times before opening it slightly. It came to a surprise Astoria hadn't beaten him to it.

"Astoria," Harry said as he entered the room. It was small with two beds separated into the corners with a curtained window in the isle between the beds. The curtains were closed; which made the room very dark. An unmoving figure sat on the bed.

As his eyes adjusted to the dark; he could see Astoria more clearly, but she hadn't made an attempt to look.

"Astoria," Daphne said softly as they approached Astoria, "Astoria, look at us."

Astoria turned her head slowly to reveal a gaunt blankless expression. As he came closer; he could see her baggy eyes and unkempt hair. Harry had seen it before...recently. Astoria's eyes met Harry's and he could see the shame and guilt as she quickly looked away.

Daphne rushed to her sister and embraced her although Astoria made no motion in response.

"Please don't hate me. I'm so sorry," Astoria said sorrowfully. "It's my fault. I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me. "

"No, Astoria, It's not your fault, "Daphne replied as she comforted Astoria. "It's not your fault. Please "

Like a bad dream, Harry could anticipate Astoria's next words.

"It was my fault," Astoria began to sob. Harry felt the room become smaller as images of the basilisk, and the chamber flooded through his mind. He could hear Astoria's next word's.

"I love you, Astoria." The words were not Astoria's, but Daphne's. "I don't care about your guilt; you're all I have and the thought of you being gone...I couldn't bear it, you hear me?"

Harry blinked and shook his head as he slowly excused himself; creeping backwards until he was just beyond the door frame, pulling the door shut as he turned around. This brought him face to face with Dumbledore who smiled cheerfully as a twinkle flashed in his eye.

"Harry, I think It's time we catch up."

A/N: Thanks for reading guys! As always, if you have questions feel free to let me know. Chapter 20 is done and will be up in about a week or so. Chapter 21 is almost done. Occasionally; I'll be going through old chapters and fixing them up in the meantime.