RK & Wade's Night Out

by Clubhouse Treats

RK and Wade start becoming more distant from each other, but neither of them are willing to address the issue. Meanwhile, Jaylynn decides to make Jasmine jealous by having Esther pose as her new girlfriend.

Thank You, Heavenly

Theme Song: "Let It Roll" by Divide the Day

SEASON 10

EPISODE 9

Air Date: November 3, 2024

"RK & Wade's Night Out"

Special Guest Stars: Sadie Stanley as Esther

#TYH1009

COLD OPEN

Northgate Community Center

Exterior Entrance

Seattle, Washington

Fade in. Late at night, RK stands by Northgate with a white T-shirt and a Seattle Mariners cap worn to the side. He faces the camera.

RK: You're sitting on the couch, you're watching tonight's show, and your life is passing you by. You keep saying to yourself, "I missed the last election. I didn't know how to mail in my vote, they didn't tell me to do it early." Well, do it this time. Voting is important, dumbass. It keeps kids off the streets, it pays for libraries and roads that they never finish constructing. These people that run the election thingy, they're smart. They'll give you pens for free since you're too broke to buy your own. You can waste your time doing it before work, you can waste your time doing it after work, you can even vote on your lunch break and come back a half hour late. You spend all your time complaining about politics to your friends and family anyway. Why not do something that makes you feel smarter when you have no reason to feel that way? All you need to do is go somewhere and vote. Don't ask me for resources, I'm just here to tell you what to do so I can get paid.

RK starts to walk away, but returns and walks uncomfortably close to the camera.

RK (CONT.): And one other thing: Why are you making this so complicated? It's easy.

RK sucks his teeth, shakes his head, and walks away.

RK (CONT.): F*** me!

("Underdog" by Alicia Keys plays in the background)

A caption appears on screen that reads: "You better vote on Tuesday. If you don't, we'll kill you and no judge is going to convict us for it."

SCENE 1

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

Sparky, Buster, and RK are all on the couch together, but only Sparky and Buster are watching TV. RK sighs as he hears his phone ring multiple times.

RK: Come on, man, pick up.

VOICEMAIL: The number you're calling is unavailable. Please leave your name and number, and they will get back to you shortly.

RK hangs up.

RK: Why does his voicemail have a British accent?

BUSTER: RK, did you get replaced with an evil twin?

RK: No. Why would you think that?

BUSTER: Because you're not paying attention to the TV. I have to think it's only a matter of time before you go psycho and kill everybody.

RK: I'm just trying to see if Wade's available for lunch this weekend. But these days, he's harder to get in touch with than an Amish kid.

SPARKY: I don't know why, but whenever someone says "lunch," I think about peanut butter and jelly.

BUSTER: Me too. Why is that?

SPARKY: I think it's because peanut butter and jelly is the greatest sandwich ever made.

BUSTER: Of course. It's at least top three. What do you put on yours?

SPARKY: Jif peanut butter, always reduced fat. Put it on potato bread with some strawberry jam? Delicious.

BUSTER: I need to try that ASAP.

RK: Hey! I hate to interrupt your little cooking show, but I have real problems here!

SPARKY: Look, RK, just go to Wade's house and talk to him. Have you even been there lately?

RK: No. I haven't. Why didn't I think of that? Why am I not doing that?

BUSTER: Because you're here talking about it with us.

RK: Well, I shouldn't. Time to go to Wade's.

RK leaves the house.

BUSTER: So, what's your opinion on grape jelly?

SPARKY: Oh, that's a classic. But between you and me, in some cases, I've been known to use apricot.

BUSTER: You're insane.

SPARKY: I know, but I'll do anything for a good sandwich.

SCENE 2

The Saltalamacchia Household

Exterior Entrance

Seattle, Washington

RK marches over to Wade's house and walks towards the door, but stops himself before he touches the knob.

RK: Wait, let me practice so I can get this right. So...where have you been, Wade? Oh, you've been, uh...hanging out with your friends? I called you a couple times. Qu'est-ce que c'est, uh, voicemail not coming through? Are you avoiding me, smart guy? I have needs, Wade. I'm not getting any younger, I'm missing my buddy in action. Well, don't start crying, because I'll start...crying.

RK starts to sniffle.

RK (CONT.): No, no, this is too much, I can't do it.

RK runs away from the house.

SCENE 3

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

Cut to a shot of Wade's living room with the lights off, indicating that Wade was never home.

SCENE 4

Craig Bartlett Junior High School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

Jaylynn walks through the halls and sees Jasmine with her new friend from the end of "Jaylynn's Girlfriend." She looks disappointed as she sees Jasmine laugh. Jaylynn rubs her head and goes to her locker where Sparky and Buster are.

JAYLYNN: Guys, I don't know what to do. It doesn't get better, it doesn't hurt less. I want Jasmine.

SPARKY: Then go there and tell her that. She wants to know how you really feel.

JAYLYNN: It's too late, Sparky. I blew my chance. I had the biggest opportunity of my life just a couple weeks ago, and I'm not getting it back.

BUSTER: I know what you mean. One time, I was this close to getting Reese's ice cream, but I chickened out and I got Twix ice cream instead. I couldn't sleep for two days.

JAYLYNN: I don't think you know what I mean.

RK walks up to the guys.

RK: Guys, I've been thinking about things. It's time for me to transfer to FDA.

SPARKY: What? Why?

RK: Lots of reasons. I'm trying to expand my academic horizons. I want a new challenge. I'm ready to go for the gold.

JAYLYNN: We know you want to be closer to Wade, why bullshit us?

BUSTER: This is about Wade? You can hang out with him any time.

RK: Can I, Buster? Can I?

BUSTER: I...always thought you could.

RK: Not anymore. It's been going on for weeks. Every time we have something planned, Wade cancels. It's almost like he doesn't want to be around me.

SPARKY: That's a lie and you know it. Wade's just hanging out with people he sees literally every day. It doesn't mean he loves you any less.

RK: Sparko, does it give you a cavity to be so positive all the time? I'm looking for raw advice. Something gritty, something nasty.

SPARKY: What do you want me to say? You're a dirty street monster and Wade needs friends with his status?

RK: Exactly. That. Something that appeals to my insecurities.

JAYLYNN: Just so you know, Wade's not hanging out with us, either. So, it's not just you who misses him.

BUSTER: Oh no, we're dirty street monsters, too?!

RK: Jaylynn, it's different. Wade's my best friend. That time with your boy is important. You'll never forget it. But it's not Wade's fault. It's mine.

SPARKY: What did you do?

RK: I predicted it. I was Nostradamus with it. The prophecy has been fulfilled.

JAYLYNN: Seriously, why do you say the things you say?

RK: Just roll the tape.

SCENE 5

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

A flashback is shown from the season seven episode "Back in the Second Grade..." with the on-screen caption reading "2018." RK is talking to Wade in the hallway.

WADE: Please, the day you and I aren't best friends, CM Punk will come back to the WWE.

RK: Shit. Then we only have five years left.

WADE: He's never coming back.

RK: They always come back. It's like a sickness.

SCENE 6

Craig Bartlett Junior High School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

Cut back to the present day.

SPARKY: Ouch.

BUSTER: Anybody could have guessed that.

JAYLYNN: I'm sorry, man. You called it, so I apologize.

RK: Eh, it doesn't matter now. I just have to figure out how I can save things before they get worse. In fact, since I have magical predicting powers, here's my next one: Not only will Wade and I get back to it, Sabrina Carpenter will win Best New Artist at the Grammys.

SPARKY: She's not a new artist. She's been making music for years.

RK: Nobody cares about that Disney Channel stuff. She's going to win because I said so.

SCENE 7

Space Needle Diner

Interior Booth

Seattle, Washington

Later that day, Jaylynn and Anja are eating oatmeal.

ANJA: I just don't know why they put pumpkin spice in everything.

JAYLYNN: It's seasonal, what do you expect?

ANJA: True, but take a breather. I like pumpkin spice, I don't love it. By the way, what happened with Jasmine?

JAYLYNN: What? Who?

ANJA: Jasmine. You never told me what happened with Jasmine.

JAYLYNN: I'm pretty sure I did.

ANJA: No, you didn't. I would remember.

JAYLYNN: Oh, you said Jasmine. I thought you said "Jazz, man." Jazz died years ago. I think K-pop took over or something.

ANJA: I'm really sorry she turned you down.

JAYLYNN: How do you know?

ANJA: Whenever you ramble for ten minutes, it's never good.

JAYLYNN: Well, she didn't turn me down. I turned myself down.

ANJA: Jaylynn, I'm patient, but I have my limits.

JAYLYNN: Look, I had this beautiful card picked out. I was going to give it to her, tell her how much I'm into her, maybe invite her to this place. But then I get to school and what do I see? Jasmine holding hands with Piper.

ANJA: Who's Piper?

JAYLYNN: Some girl from the other class. Apparently, there's a whole bunch of lesbians at my school now and nobody told me.

ANJA: You don't know for sure that they're dating. Maybe Piper's just a friend.

JAYLYNN: That's what Biz Markie thought. How did that turn out for him?

ANJA: I wouldn't know because I've never heard of that guy. Was he a friend from Portland?

JAYLYNN: Forget it, Anj.

ANJA: No, I won't forget it, Jay. Jasmine sounded like a really cool girl. You can't just let this pass. You have to find out what's really going on and fix it.

JAYLYNN: It's too late. She already moved on. I have to figure out another way.

Anja gets a text.

ANJA: Oh, Lynne just texted me back. She said you should make Jasmine jealous.

JAYLYNN: You already told her everything that happened?

ANJA: Yeah, she's been waiting to find out just like me. I can't hide anything from her.

JAYLYNN: I mean, that's not a bad idea. What do you do to get over someone? Find someone better.

ANJA: But Jasmine's the only girl you know that's into girls.

JAYLYNN: That's the beauty part. I just need to find someone that can pretend to be gay, and boost me up. We'll just act like we're dating and that will get Jasmine's attention.

ANJA: You don't think it'll make her more upset?

JAYLYNN: Maybe. But it doesn't matter. She moved on and I can't? That's not cool.

ANJA: So, who are you going to get to be your fake girlfriend?

JAYLYNN: I don't know. I have to really think about this.

Jaylynn rubs her chin, then raises her eyebrow at Anja.

ANJA: I love you, but no.

JAYLYNN: We don't have to do anything. Unless you think authenticity helps, but that's your call.

ANJA: I'm not an actress. I couldn't fake being lesbian if I tried.

JAYLYNN: I'm not asking you to be Jenna Ortega. Just do what you can to sell it.

ANJA: I'm sorry, man. You need somebody that can commit to it.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, but who?

Jaylynn's eyes widen.

ANJA: I'm not asking Lynne.

JAYLYNN: Are you sick in the head? I was thinking about Ashley. F***ing twisted, you are.

SCENE 8

Frederick Douglass Academy VIII

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

Wade and Kenny walk out of an unknown classroom.

WADE: I just need Rhiannon to focus. She could get A's in her sleep if she applied herself.

KENNY: Well, not everyone can be you, man.

WADE: I don't need her to be like me. I need her to be her, the best her.

KENNY: So, like the singer?

Kenny slaps his knee and cackles as Wade gives him a blank stare.

WADE: That was a horrible knee slapper.

KENNY: Are you kidding me? I've done that five times this week and you haven't laughed once.

WADE: Then give me something I can work with and you won't have this problem.

Wade feels a vibration in his pocket. He pulls out his phone and groans.

WADE (CONT.): It's RK again. He wants to know if I'm free to play ball.

KENNY: Are you?

WADE: Apparently not, seeing as how I just told him no. Smartphones are really fast, Kenny.

KENNY: I don't get it. Are you two beefing or something?

WADE: Of course not. At least I don't think so. But I can't be all things to all people. If I keep telling RK we could hang out and something comes up, I'm not sticking to my word. It's for the best if we both just live with what is.

KENNY: No, he's not. He's your best friend, you can't ignore him like that.

WADE: Hey, it's not one-sided. There were a few times I wanted to hang out, but he was busy with Anna or Buster or binge watching One on One.

KENNY: That's a damn good show, but see here. He's messaging you and he wants you to come over. You don't have anything planned. Just go over there and play some basketball.

WADE: Just like that. After I told him no?

KENNY: Yes. Surprise him and he'll be like "Bruh." He won't see it coming.

WADE: I guess it wouldn't hurt to meet him halfway. I'll go home, change, and go play with him.

KENNY: There you go. But before you go see him, remember one thing.

WADE: What?

KENNY: Ooga booga snot snot!

Beat.

KENNY (CONT.): That's from One on One, remember?

WADE: I've only seen three episodes. Maybe RK will appreciate that reference.

KENNY: Well, when you see him, quote that and let me know what he says. I'm serious.

WADE: Okay!

SCENE 9

The Jennings Household

Exterior Backyard

Seattle, Washington

RK plays basketball by himself.

RK: LeBron with the ball, passes it off to Bronny.

RK throws the ball in the air and catches it on the other side.

RK (CONT.): Bronny, with no coverage, looking for three!

RK shoots the ball, but it doesn't land in the basket.

RK (CONT.): Six three-point attempts by Bronny tonight, all failed. LeBron looks at him like the disappointment of a son he is.

KG walks through the back door.

KG: What the hell are you doing?

RK: I'm playing one-on-one as one. You see what I did there?

KG: Yeah, wordplay, but you see what I'm doing here?

KG holds up flashcards.

KG (CONT.): Going over some new material for the Laugh Machine. So, pipe down.

RK: KG, with all due respect, I need to do commentary when I play. It adds color and drama.

KG: Why not have someone else do it? Like a friend?

RK: Wade's not around these days. I can't just find somebody else.

RK rubs his chin.

RK (CONT.): Maybe I can.

KG: Great, you're figuring out a solution to your problem. Why can't we all be more like you? I'll be inside.

KG goes back inside the house as RK continues to rub his chin.

RK: Wait, who was I going to choose? I forgot. I guess that's why I'm in remedial class, am I right, bro?

RK cackles to himself, then looks around.

RK (CONT.): Oh, he went inside.

RK's phone starts to ring. He takes it out of his pocket, then picks up.

RK (CONT.): RKJ here, what it do? Hey Will. No, I'm just here by myself. Beat. Say, are you down to clown?

SCENE 10

The Jennings Household

Interior Backyard

Seattle, Washington

RK is now playing basketball against Will.

RK: What do you got? What do you got?

Will dribbles as RK stares him down, then tries to move past him, but RK blocks the shot.

RK (CONT): Curry blocked by James!

WILL: Wait, why do you get to be LeBron and I'm Curry?

RK: Because the other way around would be stupid. I said what I said for a reason.

WILL: Well, let's imitate other basketball plays until Wade gets here.

RK: He's not coming. And at this point, he's never coming.

WILL: What do you mean? You two always play together.

RK: Not anymore. He's moved on to bigger and better than me. Maybe I'm just in his way and he finally has the chance to break out.

WILL: You're being paranoid, man, just talk to him.

RK: I would, if my knees didn't buckle and I didn't start to feel diarrhea coming on. You never went through this with Manny?

WILL: I'm going through it now. But he's being a little bitch, so I'm giving him space.

RK: I don't know. You two are like frick and frack. You should reach out.

WILL: Okay. How about I reach out to Manny if you reach out to Wade?

RK: How about we keep balling and forget this conversation ever happened?

WILL: Fine with me.

RK: Fantastic. There's no shame in my game.

WILL: No shame in my game, either, let's go.

As RK and Will continue to play basketball, Wade watches from across the street in his car. He looks genuinely disappointed as he sighs, then drives away.

SCENE 11

Craig Bartlett Junior High School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

Jaylynn walks up to Esther.

JAYLYNN: Hey Esther, what's up?

ESTHER: Oh, Jaylynn. Still standing close to people, I see.

JAYLYNN: You really hate that, don't you?

ESTHER: I do. Please respect that.

JAYLYNN: I respect that. I just wanted to ask for a favor.

ESTHER: What kind of favor?

JAYLYNN: The make someone jealous favor?

ESTHER: I'm listening.

JAYLYNN: There's this girl I really like, but she won't give me the time of day. I want to make her jealous by going out with someone cool. And you're one of the coolest people I know.

ESTHER: Well, thank you, Jaylynn, but I'm not...I mean, I'm not really...you know.

JAYLYNN: Esther, gay people have been around since God wrote the Bible. Just say it.

ESTHER: I didn't want to be insensitive. Is "homosexual" a term you guys use?

JAYLYNN: If we were speaking in front of the president, maybe. But you don't need to be lesbian. You just need to know how to fake it.

ESTHER: Well, I did take some acting classes when I was younger. I was auditioning to be on Disney Channel, but I never got anything. Looking back, maybe that was for the best.

JAYLYNN: For sure. So, are you in?

ESTHER: I don't know, I don't want to do something I'll regret.

JAYLYNN: Okay. But you're also one of the few people that can do this for me and you still owe me.

ESTHER: Owe you for what?

JAYLYNN: From the time your psycho friends tried putting me and Buster in the hospital.

ESTHER: I bought you ice cream the next day!

JAYLYNN: Some things can't be fixed with a banana split, Esther!

ESTHER: Ugh. Alright, I'll help you. One date, one night. But I'm going to commit to this, so if you're cool with that, I'm ready.

JAYLYNN: Absolutely cool with that. If you want to be authentic, I'm all for the hugging and kissing. Seriously, you'll hear no complaints from me.

Beat.

ESTHER: Just let me know what the next move is.

Esther smirks as she walks away.

JAYLYNN: Absolutely! Again, authenticity is A-OK with me.

SCENE 12

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

RK walks into Sparky's house as Bitch Clock sits on the couch.

BITCH CLOCK: Hey Bullethead, where's Romeo?

RK: Beg pardon?

BITCH CLOCK: Sparky told me you and that Wade kid were having problems. What, did he realize you were a piece of shit and leave you high and dry?

RK: It's funny, I heard that's what your fiancée did to you right before your wedding.

BITCH CLOCK: Because she was scared of getting married to a real man with real issues.

RK: The only real issue your jobless ass ever had was deciding whether or not to have your champagne on the rocks.

BITCH CLOCK: That's a real debate in our community! How dare you?!

Sparky walks downstairs.

SPARKY: Bitch Clock, stop yelling, you're going to upset Santa.

BITCH CLOCK: I'm guessing this is the part where you want me to f*** off because you're about to talk to King Jackass over here.

SPARKY: Exactly.

BITCH CLOCK: Alright, I'll go to Oryon's. But remember what I always tell you.

SPARKY: I need to get better friends?

BITCH CLOCK: Exactly. Godspeed.

Bitch Clock taps Sparky on his pant leg and leaves the house.

RK: I swear, he makes the roof of my mouth itch. Why did you want me to come over?

SPARKY: I just wanted to know if you were free this weekend. All five of us need to hang out.

RK: All five of us? Wade will be making an appearance?

SPARKY: Yeah. That's not going to be a problem, is it?

RK: Of course not. I just hope I'm highfalutin enough for him.

SPARKY: Excuse me?

RK: I don't know if Wade has the time or energy to be around us right now. He's got Kenny, mountains of homework...Kenny.

SPARKY: See, this is why I wanted to check in with you. I had a feeling you would be uncomfortable.

RK: Hey, I'm not the one that decided it would be better to distance myself. We're all on our own journey and Wade's journey doesn't have me in it. It happens.

SPARKY: So, are you going to talk to him about how you're feeling?

RK: I don't know, that's too invasive. The communication and whatnot. Does something to my legs.

Beat.

SPARKY: I want you to be here with all of us this weekend. Whatever's going on with you and Wade, you can fix it.

Sparky goes up to RK and places his hand on his shoulder.

SPARKY (CONT.): And you will fix it.

Sparky smiles, then goes back upstairs. RK looks dumbfounded.

RK: What kind of f***ed up threat was that?

SCENE 13

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

A few days later, RK looks through the curtain intently to see if Wade arrives. Sparky, Buster, and Jaylynn are standing by.

RK: I don't see anything. Maybe he's not coming. We must cancel this shindig at once.

SPARKY: RK, relax, he's coming.

RK: What if he doesn't? It will all be a waste. You put on your new kicks for nothing, all fresh to death and nowhere to go in them. Buster used his Binaca for what exactly?

SPARKY: We'll be fine.

BUSTER: RK, you have to be positive. It's still Wade.

RK: No, it's not still Wade. It's the globe-trotting, jet-setting, man of means Wade. Who knows what antics he's getting into at FDA? I bet him, Kenny, and them sit around drinking grape juice out of a wine glass, and spend hours quoting their favorite episodes of Frasier.

JAYLYNN: I've told you in the past that you needed help, right? I made that clear?

Wade walks in.

WADE: Hey guys, salutations.

BUSTER: Same to you, soldier.

Buster salutes.

WADE: God, I've missed this already. Where are we going, Ike's? Bang Bang Chicken? Maybe some random adventure will pop up?

SPARKY: I guess we could just drive around the city for now. Nothing wrong with that.

RK coughs loudly.

RK: Got a little crick in my throat there.

WADE: RK, is everything kosher?

RK: Course, of course. You know who I am? I just hope you're not lowering yourself for the common folk.

WADE: What do you mean?

RK: I mean, you feel in your element, right? Being in this house makes you feel...amalgamated with the hoi polloi?

WADE: What in God's name are you talking about? I don't feel like I'm above you guys.

RK: I would hope so.

RK winks at Jaylynn and gives her the thumbs up.

JAYLYNN: Again. Help. Seriously.

SCENE 14

Ike's Ice Cream Emporium

Interior Booth

Seattle, Washington

The kids are at Ike's with root beer floats, but RK is barely touching his and looks irritated.

SPARKY: You know, Wade, I was thinking of something that would go great with that root beer float.

WADE: What's that?

SPARKY: Nothing too out of the ordinary.

Sparky passes Wade a food item wrapped in paper.

WADE: Wait a minute. Is that what I think it is?

SPARKY: I don't know. You should open it and find out.

Wade opens up the wrapper to reveal a sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich from Dunkin Donuts.

WADE: Wow, I can't believe it.

SPARKY: That's right. Thought you could take it home as a doggie bag.

WADE: Thanks Sparky, I really appreciate it.

RK: Guy loses his mind over a f***ing sandwich he eats ten times a day.

JAYLYNN: Did you say something?

RK: Huh?

JAYLYNN: I said, did you say something? Just now?

Beat.

RK: You have some crust in your eyes, you better take care of that.

Jaylynn looks taken aback, then starts to pick at her eye.

BUSTER: So, Wade, are there any crazy FDA stories?

WADE: No, nothing new. The first year was crazier because of the transition. Wait, no, I think I have something. See, my friend Rhiannon was trying to get me to listen to Paramore, and I told her they don't have the effect on black people that everyone thinks they do.

JAYLYNN: I mean, it's open to interpretation.

RK: Who's Rhiannon?

WADE: Just some girl in my class. You don't need to worry about her. Anyway, we're talking about Paramore and I told her that they came to Jaylynn's for her birthday. She starts flipping out, I tell her what happened, and now, she thinks I'm a liar.

SPARKY: Why? You told her what really happened, right?

WADE: Yeah. She wants actual proof that I met Paramore. Why would I lie about a band I don't even listen to?

BUSTER: Wasn't it Ashley that got them to come?

SPARKY: I think. Next time I talk to her, I'll see if she has anything left over from that party. Emails or something.

JAYLYNN: From that long ago? I doubt it.

SPARKY: You never know. People are hoarders.

RK: Yes, like how some people love to hoard the conversation.

Beat.

BUSTER: Who talks now? Me?

SPARKY: RK, what's going on? Are you straight?

RK: When am I ever? I'll be outside.

RK leaves the booth and then the restaurant.

BUSTER: He barely even touched his float. This is terrible.

SPARKY: I'll go talk to him.

WADE: No, there's only one person that can get through to him.

Wade gets up from the booth and leaves the restaurant.

SCENE 15

Ike's Ice Cream Emporium

Exterior Entrance

Seattle, Washington

RK sits at the curb and plays with his fingers. Wade sits down next to him.

WADE: So, um...anything concerning you these days?

RK: I don't know. What do you think is concerning me?

WADE: RK, I'm a scientist, not a mind reader. Illuminate me.

RK: Lately, it just feels like you're not around. You don't come over, we don't talk on the phone, you're out here having all these big adventures with Kenny and Rhiannon and the others I don't know the names of.

WADE: Well, I'm sorry I've been MIA, but I'm not trying to ignore you. I'm just trying to have fun at FDA. Open myself up, talk to people. Last year, I didn't do any of that.

RK: And that's great, and I don't want you to be miserable. I just wish you remembered who your best friend is.

WADE: I could say the same about you.

RK: Come again?

WADE: The other day, I drove up to your place. I thought maybe we could talk about what's going on, have some fun. What do I see? You playing ball with Will. Care to explain?

RK: Look, Will and I hang out sometimes. We're both in remedial class, it's not a big deal.

WADE: Of course. See, because if you were studying or doing your homework, that would just be classmates helping out classmates. But shooting three-pointers together indicates a deeper bond, no?

RK: Hey, you weren't around! I was lonely and I didn't call him! He called me!

WADE: He called you? Oh, poor you.

RK: He made me feel like I mattered!

WADE: Oh. Well, I'm sorry I don't do that for you anymore.

RK: No, I'm...I'm sorry, man, I wasn't trying to-

WADE: No, you...you have to do your thing and I have to do mine. Maybe we just have divergent interests.

RK: Wade, don't be like that.

WADE: I'll just go.

Wade leaves the restaurant.

RK: Wade, bubeleh, I want to work this out. We can converge our interests! Converge them!

Sparky, Buster, and Jaylynn walk out of the restaurant.

SPARKY: What the hell happened? You guys were arguing?

RK: Yeah. I guess if CM Punk could come back to WWE, anything's possible.

RK shakes his head and leaves. The "Let It Roll" instrumental plays in the background as Sparky, Buster, and Jaylynn look at each other with concern.

SCENE 16

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

Sparky, Buster, and Jaylynn are on the living room couch together.

BUSTER: I know things are awkward because of RK and Wade, but I have a question.

SPARKY: Yeah?

BUSTER: Why is the TV not on?

Cut to a shot of the TV not being on. Cut back to the kids.

SPARKY: I thought you turned it on.

BUSTER: No, Jaylynn said she wanted to watch something, but she never got the remote.

JAYLYNN: You liar, I never said that. How dare you?

BUSTER: How dare you? How dare I?

JAYLYNN: So, you agree.

BUSTER: Huh? Sparky, I'm confused.

SPARKY: Look, how about we not go at each other's throats? We already have one problem to deal with.

JAYLYNN: This is simple. There's three of us and two of them, so we have to try and talk to them on their level.

SPARKY: Well, I could talk to Wade and Buster could talk to RK. Who do you want to talk to, Jaylynn?

JAYLYNN: Hmmm, that's a big decision. Let me think about it for a while.

BUSTER: You could always flip a coin.

JAYLYNN: No, I want to have power over who I talk to. The choice, you know?

Sparky looks around the room.

JAYLYNN (CONT.): What are you doing?

SPARKY: I'm just trying to see if Bitch Clock is around, eavesdropping while he's chewing on a mango or something. Then he'll come in and give bad advice about how I need new friends.

JAYLYNN: I don't smell cheap liquor anywhere, so you're good.

SPARKY: Oh yeah. He said he's hanging out with Jim today. Alright, cool.

Beat.

BUSTER: So, is anybody going to turn on the TV?

SCENE 17

Craig Bartlett Junior High School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

Buster and RK are at the lockers the next day.

BUSTER: So, that's why you and Wade should talk.

RK: Buster, you know you just spent five minutes talking about Power? You didn't say anything about Wade.

BUSTER: Wait, no, I messed it up. I-I was going to say..."Now that that's out of the way, let me tell you why you and Wade should talk." I was supposed to transition into it.

RK: Look, there's nothing to talk about. Like Wade said, we just have divergent interests.

BUSTER: Come on, man, that's ketchup and water. Wade's your best friend. You've traveled through space and time together. You both have girlfriends. You're like twins.

RK: I don't know. I think I hurt him when I said that Will made me feel like I mattered. If there's anybody that's gone out of their way to uplift me, it's Wade.

BUSTER: Talk to him, bud. Tell him you didn't mean it. You were high off the ice cream, you were just saying anything.

RK: I didn't eat any ice cream.

BUSTER: Oh yeah. Well, tell him you were just acting out a scene from one of those TV shows you watch. See, that's why I talked about Power. I wanted to get you all warm and fuzzy.

RK: I would love to settle this, but I think I blew it. It's that self-fulfilling prophecy crap all over again.

BUSTER: You mean, self-fulfilling prophylactic.

RK: Okay. Look, if you ever talk to Wade, tell him I want a sit down. Get it all out in the open.

BUSTER: Absolutely.

Jaylynn walks up to the guys.

JAYLYNN: Hey guys. I've figured out my Jasmine problem.

BUSTER: You're going to tell her she's the one and you two can start walking each other home?

JAYLYNN: Hell no, are you crazy? I'm going to fight fire with fire. Esther's agreed to be my fake girlfriend to make Jasmine jealous. She sees us together, being all coupley and whatever, and she's thinking, "Wow. Jaylynn's doing alright for herself. I missed out."

RK: Isn't she dating that girl from the other class? Why would she care?

JAYLYNN: Because I'm beating her at her own game. I see what she's doing. She's mad that I rejected her, so she's making me jealous by going out with Piper. If I do the same, she's going to get put in a corner.

BUSTER: Jaylynn, I really think you should tell Jasmine the truth. You owe it to yourself to have someone you really like.

JAYLYNN: I think it's great you're looking out for me, but I've already decided that pettiness is the only way I can handle this.

RK: Hey Buster, maybe Jaylynn's doing the prophylactic thing, too.

BUSTER: She is.

JAYLYNN: Doing what? Why are you guys talking about me like I'm not here?!

SCENE 18

Frederick Douglass Academy VIII

Exterior Entrance

Seattle, Washington

Wade walks out of school, then looks up when he hears someone whistle. Cut to Sparky standing by his car with sunglasses on.

SPARKY: Wade, my boy. Get in, we have things to discuss.

WADE: Sparky, what are you doing here? It's not Carpool Day.

SPARKY: I just thought I'd drop in, give you a ride home. Maybe pick your brain about important things in your life.

WADE: You decided to talk to me after what happened with me and RK, didn't you?

SPARKY: Wade, that seems like an accusation, doesn't it? I resent that.

WADE: Why? I'm not upset about it. I could also wager that Buster either talked to RK about it or he's planning to.

Beat.

SPARKY: Sometimes, I hate how smart you are.

WADE: That's what everyone says. Alright, take me home.

SCENE 19

Sparky and Wade are in the car.

WADE: It's just that...RK and I have been best friends for years. We've seen it all, done it all. Do you know how it feels to put years of work into a friendship, and then your friend makes you feel like it was all for naught?

SPARKY: Honestly, no. You guys never made me feel like that. I know Jaylynn felt like that with Gilcy.

WADE: Exactly. Warranted or otherwise, Jaylynn firmly believed that she had a great friendship with Gilcania. Then when things took a turn for the worse, she didn't know how to handle it. That's where I'm at with RK.

SPARKY: You guys just needed some space. It doesn't mean that the friendship had to end. But junior high is different.

WADE: That's what I thought. But not only does RK feel like I'm neglecting him, he's replacing me.

SPARKY: With who? Will? That's crazy.

WADE: Please, I saw the fun they were having with their little shootaround. Who knows how many times they've done that behind my back?

SPARKY: This is starting to get into a weird area.

WADE: Then let it. I know RK's talked about this a hundred times, but I haven't. I'm not getting rid of him. I hate missing things that you guys do. But I also want to live my own life.

SPARKY: I get it, man. It's complicated. I don't like the fact that I can't see Halley like I used to. But we try and hang out as much as we can.

WADE: What do you guys do to keep close? You know, now that you're in different schools?

SPARKY: We try to remind each other whenever we're together that it's important we have this. Because we're both worth it.

WADE: Maybe RK feels like I'm taking him for granted. I didn't want this to happen.

SPARKY: Well, it has. And you and RK are too good together to let it get worse. It's hard for you guys to see, but you're both worth it.

Beat.

WADE: We need to talk about this. An open forum to trade opinions, and end the awkwardness for good.

SPARKY: If I know RK, that's the same thing he wants.

Beat.

WADE: You know you just passed by my house, right?

SPARKY: I'm aware, I just wanted this to sink in.

SCENE 20

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

Sparky and Buster are on the couch together.

SPARKY: So, good news. Wade is open to talking to RK about their problems.

BUSTER: Awesome. RK wants a sit down, and he wants it hot and ready.

SPARKY: Huh?

BUSTER: I'm sorry, I got distracted thinking about Little Caesars. But this is great, we need to set it up!

SPARKY: Of course, but where? It has to be a neutral location. So, not at RK's house, and not at Wade's house.

BUSTER: Ike's?

SPARKY: No, that's where they had the fight. Bang Bang Chicken would work.

BUSTER: I think RK said he's taking a break from that place. He said it's risking overexposure.

SPARKY: I can see that. What place do RK and Wade both love? We can take them there and it will make the conversation better.

Beat.

SPARKY AND BUSTER: Burger King.

SPARKY (CONT.): Two old friends catching up with an old friend.

Sparky and Buster high-five.

SCENE 21

Craig Bartlett Junior High School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

Esther is putting books away in her locker when Jaylynn walks up to her, albeit at a distance.

JAYLYNN: Hey Esther. Don't worry, I'm making sure I keep my distance.

ESTHER: You can stand closer than that. I just hate when people give me no room, with their eyes bugging out and their breath in my face.

JAYLYNN: Say less.

Jaylynn walks up closer to Esther.

ESTHER: Perfect. So, what's up?

JAYLYNN: You and I are going to have a double date with Jasmine and Piper tonight.

ESTHER: We're going out with them?

JAYLYNN: Not exactly. We're following them to this dance club. So, it's a double date in spirit.

ESTHER: We're spying on them.

JAYLYNN: Hey, you said it.

ESTHER: Look, I get you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend, but I don't want to do anything hurtful.

JAYLYNN: Relax, it will be fun. I heard from some people that Piper goes to this club all the time and she's taking Jasmine.

ESTHER: So, we just have to make it look like we're having a better time than them, and Jasmine will be upset about it?

JAYLYNN: Exactly. Do you know how to dance? Because I'm kinda shitty.

ESTHER: Trust me, I know how to dance. My friends say my moonwalk looks just like Michael Jackson.

JAYLYNN: Really? Let's see it.

ESTHER: Here? At school? No way.

JAYLYNN: Why? It probably looks crazy.

ESTHER: Jaylynn, I don't dance for free. You'll see it when we go to the club.

JAYLYNN: You can't dance, can you?

ESTHER: Okay, you took it too far. I'll give you a sample.

Esther takes a deep breath and begins to moonwalk, but stops herself almost immediately.

ESTHER (CONT.): No. Can't do it. I'll see you at the club...thing.

Esther almost runs into some kids as she leaves the hallway.

SCENE 22

The Jennings Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

That night, RK walks up to KG as he sits on the couch.

RK: Hey KG. I know you said to get lost on your day off, but I have a problem.

KG: Did Anna slap you again? Look, bro, no matter how mad a woman makes you, you never-

RK: It's not about what Anna didn't do! It's about Wade.

KG: Okay. What's going on with him?

RK: I'm meeting up with him tonight at Burger King to mend our issues. But I'm afraid it's going to go to hell.

KG: You can't think that. He's your best friend. You're both men. Real men deal with their feelings and handle them in a civilized manner.

RK: Right, I forgot. You're still trying to give me manly advice.

KG: Because it's important. What do I always tell you to do as a man?

RK: Aim south at the urinal to avoid splash back?

KG: No! I mean, yeah, but that's not it. As a man, whatever you think, you stand on it. Don't be afraid to tell your friends how you feel.

RK: So, whenever Rodney and Trevor piss you off, you tell them?

KG: Of course. You think I'm just letting them upset me and I'm like "Oh, uh...mister, could you not, uh, do the thing you're doing?" I have to tell them to cut it out. And they do the same with me.

RK: Right. Holding each other accountable. And Sparky and Buster will be there to keep an eye out.

KG: See? There you go. You have to have a winning attitude when it comes to things like this. It's the only thing that keeps you from crying on the toilet.

RK: You cry on the toilet?

KG: It's private, it's calming, and it's good for the ticker.

RK: Ewww. Don't talk to me about your ticker, I'm your brother.

KG: The ticker is the heart, you moron.

RK: Oh. So, let me ask you this. Between Rodney and Trevor, who makes you feel like you matter the most? You know, they take care of your manly needs?

KG gives RK a disgusted look.

RK (CONT.): What?

SCENE 23

Burger King

Exterior Parking Lot

Seattle, Washington

Sparky and Buster are sitting in Sparky's car near the Burger King entrance. Sparky looks through his binoculars and sees RK and Wade sit down.

SPARKY: Okay. They just sat down at the table.

BUSTER: Why can't we go inside?

SPARKY: I don't want RK and Wade to think they're under pressure. They know we're here, but we're not really here.

BUSTER: So, how do we know when to step in?

SPARKY: RK will text me and say he's choking on a meatball.

BUSTER: What does he say when he really is choking?

SPARKY: He says nothing and Wade saves him. Hey, you want to hit the drive-thru?

BUSTER: I thought you would never ask. Watching other people eat makes me hungry.

SCENE 24

Burger King

Interior Booth

Seattle, Washington

RK and Wade sit across from each other, not saying a word. RK looks around the restaurant and admires it.

RK: This place hasn't changed a bit since the last time I was here.

WADE: Wasn't that a few weeks ago?

RK: No, I just ordered from Uber Eats. I didn't actually come inside.

WADE: Oh. So, how's Anna?

Once again, RK looks around for a few seconds.

RK: She's good. Still the most beautiful girl in the world.

WADE: You mean, the second-most beautiful. At best.

RK: Okay, let's not get into a competition about who's hotter. We both know who wins.

WADE: Indeed, we do. Hey, remember when Buster set us up on those dates, and you were with Adriana while I was with Anna?

RK: Yeah. That was so strange, could you imagine us ending up with the other girl?

WADE: Don't have to. There's an alternate reality where we're doing exactly that.

RK: You're right. We should go there and tell our alternate selves what we're doing in this reality. And then they'll be like "Whoa."

Wade snickers.

WADE: We should probably order something.

RK: Damn, you're right. I'm so used to menus and waiters now.

SCENE 25

Burger King

Exterior Drive-Thru

Seattle, Washington

Sparky and Buster are at the drive-thru. Sparky looks irritated.

BUSTER: So, when are you going to bring back the apple pie?

BK EMPLOYEE (V.O.): I don't know. You have to take that up with corporate.

BUSTER: I'm just saying, the apple pie was a classic. This is why McDonald's is beating you, by the way.

SPARKY: Buster, just order the Hershey pie. It's not a big deal.

BUSTER: No, that's okay. The Hershey pie never sat right with me. What's your opinion on the cookies, sir?

BK EMPLOYEE (V.O.): My opinion is that you should order them if you want them.

A honking horn is heard in the background.

BUSTER: Alright, I'll get the cookies. Wait, please tell me you have oatmeal raisin.

Sparky groans.

SCENE 26

Soda Pop Lounge

Seattle, Washington

("I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)" by Whitney Houston plays in the background)

Several kids are on the dance floor with their phones recording themselves instead of dancing. One of them looks bored beyond belief as they pull out their phone, then record themselves smiling and bobbing their head to the music, then they immediately put their phone back and look depressed. Another kid stands in the corner with a trenchcoat, looking like he's ready to kill someone. Jaylynn and Esther are seated and Jasmine and Piper are in their view. Jaylynn keeps stealing glances at Jasmine, and when Jasmine turns to look at Jaylynn, she stares at the ceiling.

JAYLYNN: Hey, you think they just painted in here?

ESTHER: The paint is chipped, I don't think so. Look, Jaylynn, we've been here for a half hour. When are we going to sell it?

JAYLYNN: I mean, if you want to kiss, that's okay with me. Like I said, I'm all for the authenticity.

Esther gives Jaylynn a bored look. Jasmine and Piper walk up to them.

JASMINE: Hey Jaylynn. You come here, too?

JAYLYNN: Once in a while. Just to get my groove on.

PIPER: That's funny. I've never seen you here.

JAYLYNN: Same. Small world, isn't it?

ESTHER: Jaylynn, how are you not going to introduce me to your friend?

JAYLYNN: Oh yeah. Jasmine, this is my date Esther.

JASMINE: How are you doing? You look a little...older.

ESTHER: Yeah, eighth grade. But Jaylynn and I have known each other for years.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, she lives in my friend Buster's building.

PIPER: Cool. So, Esther, I've never seen you here, either. What made you come?

ESTHER: Well, Jaylynn told me about this place and she insisted we dance together. She's so romantic.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, it might be a slow song. Maybe a ballad, but...I wanted people to know who's wearing my chain.

Esther kisses Jaylynn on the cheek and Jaylynn has a goofy grin on her face. Jasmine and Piper look at each other with confusion.

JASMINE: Well, enjoy your night, guys.

JAYLYNN: Same.

Jasmine and Piper leave.

JAYLYNN (CONT.): You little devil.

ESTHER: Please don't make it weird. I was good, though, right?

JAYLYNN: Honey, Denzel couldn't make that work.

ESTHER: I remind you of Denzel? I don't talk like him, do I?

Jaylynn has a blank look on her face.

("I Feel for You" by Chaka Khan plays in the background)

ESTHER (CONT.): Oh my God. Jaylynn, we have to dance to this!

JAYLYNN: I don't know, man, I don't have the rhythm like that.

ESTHER: Please, don't worry. Let me lead and we'll kill this.

JAYLYNN: You're the boss.

Esther brings Jaylynn to the dance floor and they begin dancing to "I Feel for You." The two start with a dance resembling the tango, then Esther spins Jaylynn, grabs her, and dips her. Jaylynn starts blushing.

JAYLYNN (CONT.): I love being me.

Esther picks Jaylynn up and Jaylynn tries her best to mimic Esther's moves, which include the Shorty George, Crazy Legs, the two step, and a hop in place. The kids start cheering and recording as Esther attempts the moonwalk, which isn't as coordinated as Michael Jackson's but passable enough. A "Go Esther! Go Jaylynn!" chant starts as Jasmine and Piper look at the girls intently. Jaylynn then runs towards Esther and Esther picks her up in a tribute to "Dirty Dancing." Jaylynn starts laughing as Esther holds her.

JAYLYNN (CONT.): That tickles!

Jasmine and Piper look unamused as Esther spins Jaylynn around. She makes eye contact with Jasmine and her big smile turns into a half-smile, then a frown.

SCENE 27

Burger King

Exterior Parking Lot

Seattle, Washington

Sparky and Buster sit in the car surrounded by Burger King wrappers. Sparky is once again looking through his binoculars.

BUSTER: Is there a cat fight yet? Should we step in?

SPARKY: No, they're still just eating and talking. RK hasn't started yelling, so that's a bonus.

BUSTER: Hey, what's Barry short for?

SPARKY: What?

BUSTER: I'm writing a short story for class and there's a kid named Barry who has to find out what his name is short for, but I don't know. I know your name is William if you're called Bill, but what about Barry?

SPARKY: Um, I don't know. I guess we could look it up?

Sparky goes on his phone.

SPARKY (CONT.): Okay, according to AI, Barry is short for Barrington, Bartholomew, and Barclay.

BUSTER: I don't like any of those names. You know what? I'll just write that his parents named him after Barry Bonds and forget about it.

SCENE 28

Burger King

Interior Booth

Seattle, Washington

RK and Wade are currently going through their meal.

RK: The Hi-C is great tonight. Excellent juice-to-ice ratio.

WADE: I guess that drink makes your taste buds feel like they matter, huh?

Beat.

RK: Right, the elephant in the room.

WADE: Look, RK, I know you weren't trying to be malicious, but that really hurt my feelings.

RK: Wow. That's the first time you've ever said that to me.

WADE: I know. And it's not easy for me to be emotional, but you're the closest thing I have to a brother. Nobody matters more to me than you.

RK: I'm sorry I hurt you like that, Wade. I didn't want you to think I didn't value you, but it's been hard. You're over there at FDA, I'm at CB with the other guys. I miss seeing you in the hallways every day.

WADE: Likewise. Kenny told me not to ignore you. That's why I went to your house to hang out, but when I saw Will, I just moved on.

RK: So, is that why you're more distant now? You were afraid that I would leave you behind, so you tried beating me to the punch?

WADE: I don't know. Maybe on some subconscious level. But it's not like I've been available like I used to.

RK: It's okay to be unavailable sometimes. We're boys. We're young, we're handsome, we're in our prime.

WADE: I don't want to guess where this is going.

RK: The point is, we can't be around each other all the time. I want you to enjoy junior high and have fun for once.

WADE: And I don't want you to feel like I'm pushing you away. I mean, it's us.

RK: It's us. This is stupid, man, we're all we've got.

WADE: We all we got!

RK and Wade get up from their seats, hug, and start crying.

RK: We have to keep each other around, man! Or it's over, man!

WADE: I know, man! Friends get killed, move away, or they end up like Jaylynn and Gilcy!

RK: I don't wanna be like Jaylynn and Gilcy!

WADE: Nobody does! Nobody!

SCENE 29

Burger King

Exterior Parking Lot

Seattle, Washington

Sparky puts down his binoculars in shock and turns to look at Buster.

SPARKY: I...I can't believe this. They're ending their friendship.

BUSTER: How do you know?

SPARKY: They're crying and everything. They look really upset, we have to stop them!

BUSTER: Copied.

Sparky and Buster step out of the car.

SCENE 30

Burger King

Interior Booth

Seattle, Washington

RK and Wade continue hugging when Sparky and Buster run towards them.

SPARKY: Guys, guys! You can't stop being friends because you go to different schools!

BUSTER: RK, Wade, you're big boys. So, put on your big boy pants and settle your beef right now!

RK: That's what we're doing.

SPARKY: Huh?

WADE: We agreed that we're simultaneously shutting each other out because we're afraid of getting hurt.

RK: But we can't let that ruin our friendship, so we're going to get back to it.

RK wipes tears from his face and sniffles.

RK (CONT.): It's what best friends do.

BUSTER: Wait a minute, you guys are crying because you're getting closer again?

WADE: Do you take umbrage with that, Buster?

BUSTER: Um...

RK: Because boys cry also. We all know you cry every time SpongeBob and Patrick die under that lamp.

SPARKY: RK, it's cool. We're happy that you're resolving your differences.

WADE: Yes, but it's just presumptuous that society thinks crying is a result of negativity, not healing. Again I ask, Buster, do you take umbrage with that?

Beat.

BUSTER: That depends. What does "umbrage" mean?

SCENE 31

The Hernandez Household

Exterior Entrance

Seattle, Washington

Esther and Jaylynn arrive at Jaylynn's house.

ESTHER: Well, here we are.

JAYLYNN: Thank you. For everything. You're such a gentleman.

ESTHER: I'm a girl.

JAYLYNN: I thought on this date, you were more of the masculine type.

ESTHER: I had fun doing this. Don't make me regret it.

JAYLYNN: No, it's cool. I'm glad somebody had fun.

ESTHER: You didn't?

JAYLYNN: Well, you tickling me at the club was amazing, but I didn't get what I wanted. I thought making Jasmine jealous would make me feel better, but it didn't. I still want her.

ESTHER: You can have her if you really want her.

JAYLYNN: No. She's with Piper now. I was just scared. No girl's ever paid attention to me like she did. I pushed her away so I wouldn't get hurt, but I got hurt anyway.

ESTHER: Love is weird. I remember this one guy I was into, he told me he was into me, but I didn't believe him. I thought it was a joke.

JAYLYNN: What did you do?

ESTHER: I started treating him like shit. I didn't want to believe that he felt the same way, so I did what I could to keep him away from me. Then he started going out with someone else and he never found out how I felt.

JAYLYNN: Wow. No wonder you're damaged. You know, the whole personal space thing?

ESTHER: No, I'm just really claustrophobic, but my point is that you shouldn't be like me. If you really like Jasmine, you have to let her know. Before it's too late.

JAYLYNN: I'll think about it. Thanks Esther, you're a real friend.

ESTHER: No problem.

Esther kisses Jaylynn on the cheek again.

JAYLYNN: What was that for?

ESTHER: A kiss good night. The date's not over until you get out of the car, right?

JAYLYNN: Right. Good thinking.

Jaylynn gets out of the car and waves goodbye to Esther as she drives off.

JAYLYNN (CONT.): Buster's going to lose his mind when I tell him.

SCENE 32

The Jennings Household

Exterior Backyard

Seattle, Washington

Days later, RK and Wade are shown playing basketball together.

RK: What do you got? What do you got?

Wade pretends to go in one direction, and RK follows him, but Wade fakes him out and shoots the ball into the basket with ease.

WADE: I'll tell you what I got. Skills.

RK: Alright, we'll see how you do this time. Pass me the rock.

Wade passes RK the ball and RK tries to go for a shot when Will walks up.

WILL: Oh, you guys are playing together. Okay.

RK: Yeah, William, my boy, have a seat.

WILL: There's nowhere to sit.

RK: Keep standing. You and I have forged a bond these last couple months, what with us being in the same class. But Wade is my brother. And it's important, nay, it is vital to keep the friendship going because he is my brother. So, with that being said-

WADE: Um, RK, he's already leaving.

RK realizes that Will is on his way out.

WILL: I'll see you at school, RK.

RK: The nerve of that guy. I'm trying to drop some gospel and he can't be bothered to stick around for it? Kids these days.

WADE: Yeah, Kenny's the same way sometimes. It's like talking to a brick wall.

RK: I know. Alright, still my ball.

The camera pulls back as RK and Wade continue to play basketball. Cut to black.

("Blame on Me" by Jack Harlow plays over the end credits)

POST-CREDITS GAG

The MacDougal Household

Interior Kitchen

Seattle, Washington

Sparky and Buster are making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

SPARKY: So, I was talking to Halley about PB&J, and you know what she said?

BUSTER: What?

SPARKY: Her sister Annabelle? Let me tell you, she puts peanut butter on one slice, puts jelly over the peanut butter, and leaves the other slice dry.

BUSTER: Jesus, why would she do that?!

SPARKY: Because she's strange. I told you, there was something about her I didn't like.

BUSTER: You know what? I have to admit something.

SPARKY: What?

BUSTER: When I was younger, before I learned how to make my own PB&J, I would put peanut butter on both pieces, then put a little jelly on top of one piece.

SPARKY: I'm...I'm sorry, are you okay?

BUSTER: I will be. You're the first person I ever told about it. It's what my mom taught me. She said the jelly should never touch the bread!

Buster starts crying, and Sparky hugs him.

SPARKY: It's okay, man. You're here now. You're stronger for telling your story.

The camera pulls back to reveal Bitch Clock standing by the kitchen entrance, holding a banana. Sparky's eyes widen because he senses someone else's presence, then he looks over to Bitch Clock.

BITCH CLOCK: Whatever you guys are smoking, please give me some.

Cut to black.

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