Chapter 23: Snake Boy
A/N: That's right everyone, we get to see our favorite snake! I think aside from Blitzo and Jenny reuniting, this is the chapter I've been most excited to write. Since it's confirmed Sir Pentious will be staying at the hotel, this is my idea of how he decides to stay. I'm sure it'll be way different when the show airs but for now we'll just go with this idea. I also want to point out that I'm going by some of the facts and notes that I found online so not everything might be accurate. It's been said he's a warlord so I'm just going to go with the idea that he's like a step or two below an Overlord in Hell.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss; I just own my characters.
Enjoy!
/
Sticking his head out the laundry room, Blitzo scanned the halls to make sure no one was coming nearby. When the coast was clear, he gave Jenny a thumbs up as he stood guard near the door.
Grabbing a set of clothes from the dryer, she quickly hurried behind the towel rack and changed out of the clothes she was wearing with the freshly cleaned ones. With her new outfit on, she went back to the washer and put her dirty outfit in it.
"All good" she said.
Blitzo stepped away from the door and hopped on the dryer.
"Is this how you usually do your laundry here?" he asked.
Jenny shook her head as she put soap in.
"No. I usually have Charlie or Vaggie take care of it, and I just stay in my room until they're cleaned. But since Lue and Mei have decided to stay here, they've been busy getting their rooms ready and explaining the rules of the hotel. And I'm tired of smelling like a dirty hobo so I'll just do it myself."
Blitzo looked at her outfit. It was the one she wore when she arrived in Hell. Her other hoodie that she wore on Extermination Day was still stained with blood so that top was pretty much ruined.
"Haven't they given you more outfits to wear while you were here?"
"I didn't want them to spend their money on outfits since I was going to return home once I found you" Jenny explained.
"Angel did buy me a bunch of outfits, but my underwear covers more skin than what he picked out for me."
Blitzo made a face at that.
"Not to sound like a perv but…how do you wash your underwear when you're swapping outfits while you're cleaning them?"
"I'm not wearing them now" Jenny said as she turned the dial on the machine.
Blitzo's face went bright red at the thought of his best friend going commando. Even though she was fully clothed, he looked away out of respect. He tried thinking of various things to get the image of her naked under her clothes out of his head. She didn't need to know that her best friend was thinking lewd thoughts about her.
"I-I'll see if Loonie is willing to loan you some outfits until we get you home" he stammered.
Jenny sighed as she leaned against the washer. It had been a few days since Extermination Day. Things had calmed down a bit, but everyone was still on edge. Buildings still needed to be repaired and they had to tally up all of the Sinners that were killed during the cleanse. Not to mention her stab wound wasn't fully healed yet. Until she got the ok from Charlie, she was still stuck in Hell.
"Least I don't have to deal with the crappy weather that Salem is facing with right now" she said.
"Or those little crotch goblins that you called students" Blitzo joked.
Jenny chuckled thinking about her class. To be honest she did not miss her job or her students at all. She hated teaching but she went with it because it was a 'real' job according to David. Dealing with first graders for nine to ten months was not a real job, it was torture. She didn't get paid enough to hear bratty kids misbehave.
"I wonder what poor sap had to take over my class while I was gone" she wondered.
"I hope it was that Morgan bitch. Just because you won teacher of the year one year doesn't mean you get to brag about it for three years." Blitzo said.
"If it is Morgan, she'll have the pleasure of dealing with Jermy" Jenny said.
"Isn't that the kid who brought his mom's vibrator to class for show and tell?"
"Yep. Oh, and for Halloween he dressed up wearing an elephant mask that he found in his dad's closet-it was his 'special' underwear."
The two of them busted out laughing. Normally Jenny couldn't talk about her students like this with David because he frowned upon it, but with Blitz, she could vent and have someone to laugh with.
Her laughter subsided as she thought of her fiancée. It had been two months since they last saw each other. He must have been wondering where she went when she didn't come home from work. If Blitzo had been tearing the whole town apart trying to find her then David had to have done the same, right?
"Hey, Blitz?"
"Yeah?"
Jenny looked at her friend nervously.
"When you were looking for me topside…did you see if anyone else was doing the same?"
Blitzo knew right away what she was asking. Was David looking for her? He bit the inside of his cheeks to keep himself from saying anything. He didn't want to tell her that David really didn't do or say anything. He might have at the beginning when the news was on him but after that, it was as if he went radio silent. He never posted anything online or sent out alerts asking for Jenny's whereabouts. Maybe he was searching for her in his own way, but to Blitzo it seemed like he just gave up on her.
He knew couldn't tell her what he knew. She was dealing enough as it was with being stuck in Hell. So, he did what any good friend would do in this situation.
"To be honest, I was more focused on finding clues about you that I didn't even pay attention to anyone else" he admitted.
It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. The less she knew the better.
"Yeah, I guess that won't be on the forefront of your mind" Jenny admitted.
"Sorry I brought it up."
Blitzo felt the phone that was in his pocket. He still had her phone on him for safekeeping. He should have given it to her right away but if he did, she would have seen the lack of messages from David. He hated David with every fiber of his being, but he loved Jenny even more. He would do anything to prevent her from being sad, even if it meant hiding things from her.
He would tell her once they were safely back in the realm of the living.
The washing machine suddenly made a strange noise and rattled.
"Crap, the clothes must have bundled to one side and make it go off balance" Jenny grumbled.
She hit the emergency stop button. She lifted the door to see what was going on with her clothes only to get hit in the face by a jet of water. The water line fell off and started spraying water everywhere.
Jenny staggered back from the force of the water and grabbed her face.
"Jenny!" Blitzo yelled.
He rushed over to her and pulled her hands away to see if she was ok. Luckily it wasn't hot water so her face didn't get burned but the force of the water would have done something.
And something it did.
Due to the force of the water, it took off her make up and showed off her living face.
"Shit, we need to get you back to your room" Blitzo said.
"What's going on in here?" Alastor said.
The two friends panicked. If Alastor walked in, he would have seen Jenny without her disguise. They didn't have time to run out of the room without him seeing and there was nowhere to hide except the towel shelf.
Knowing there was no escape, Blitzo did the only thing he could think of.
Quickly he stripped out of his clothes until he was only in his boxers.
"Blitz, what the fuck are you- "
He shoved his clothes in her face.
"Unless you want to see more of me than you're comfortable with I suggest you don't take that down" he said.
He rushed over to the washer just as Alastor came into the room.
"What's all this noise that I-WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?!" Alastor yelled.
Blitzo acted like he was trying to stop the water. He gave the Radio Demon a shit eating grin when he saw how freaked out the Overlord was.
"Oh, perfect timing. This piece of crap exploded on us and now water is spraying everywhere. Give me a hand, will you?"
"Why did you take of your clothes?!" Alastor snapped.
"So, I wouldn't get them wet, duh? You going to help me or what?"
"I'm not going anywhere near you until you put your clothes back on! You're in the presence of a lady for crying out loud!"
"Oh please, it's not like she hasn't seen a dick before. Although she's planning on marrying a guy without one"
"Blitz, shut the fuck up" Jenny said.
Seeing that Alastor wasn't leaving, Blitzo decided to bring out the big guns.
"Crap now my boxers are getting soaked. Guess I gotta take these off too."
"Charlie! We have a situation here!" Alastor yelled as he ran out the room.
Blitzo zipped to the door and watched as the radio demon ran down the hall.
"Go, go, go!" He told Jenny.
Jenny took the hint and hurried out of the laundry room and made it up the stairs to her room.
Blitzo sighed with relief. Bullet dodged. That relief quickly went away when he realized something.
"Hey, you didn't leave my clothes behind!"
/
"We can't get a new washer until the stores open up again. And since some of them got destroyed during Extermination Day it's going to take a while" Charlie said.
"Can't Tony fix it? He was hired to repair the hotel" Jenny pointed out.
"I called him, and he said he's booked for the next three weeks trying to repair homes that got damaged" Charlie explained.
"So, what the fuck are we supposed to do with our laundry? Wash them in the sink like poor people?" Angel asked.
"There's this convenient place called the Laundromat" Vaggie said flatly.
Angel scoffed in disgust.
"I ain't taking my stuff there! Do you know how much money I paid for them? If I washed them at a cracked-out place like that, my clothes would be ruined!"
"Aren't they already ruined with all the drugs you keep stashed in the pockets?" Jenny asked.
"Shut it, toots! This is your fault we have to wash our clothes like we're in the dark ages!"
"It was an old crappy appliance. It was bound to break down anyway" Husker argued.
Everyone bickered over the fact that they wouldn't be able to get their laundry done for who knew how long.
"Is there anyway we can fix it ourselves?" Mei asked.
"No, everything is pretty shot. We're just gonna have to figure something out" Vaggie said.
Loona came inside looked tired and annoyed.
"Ok, we brought it" she said.
Everyone looked at the Hellhound confused.
"Brought what?" Charlie asked slowly.
"The washing machine Blitz told me to bring over" Loona said dully.
"Wait what?!"
Seconds later, Lue wheeled in a washing machine.
"Damn, these appliances sure aren't light" he panted.
Blitzo popped out of the machine.
"Surprise!"
Vaggie freaked out when she saw this.
"Where did you get this?!"
"Some random guy's house" Blitzo said.
"I checked the obituaries this morning to see who died that lived nearby and snagged their washer!"
"We got a couple of other things too that we thought the hotel could use" Lue added.
Jenny held the bridge of her nose and groaned.
"Damnit, Blitz" she muttered.
Vaggie exploded.
"We are not stealing dead people's stuff!" she yelled.
"Why? It's not like the guy's going to use it again" Blitzo pointed out.
"And it's not really stealing if the person is already dead. This could be considered an open house auction" Lue added.
"Take it back now before someone notices!" Vaggie ordered.
"Do you know how hard it was trying to get this thing here?" Loona asked.
"I don't care, just take it back!" Vaggie said.
Blitzo ignored her and looked at Charlie.
"Hey, princess. This is your hotel. What do you say? You really going to pass up a free washer?"
Charlie sighed and rubbed her face. This was not how she wanted to start her morning.
"They already brought the washer here, so we'll use it. We need one anyway and who knows when Tony will be able to fix the old one" she said.
"As for the rest of the stuff you took, bring it back. We don't need to broadcast that we decorated the hotel with departed memorabilia."
"Can I at least keep the horse statue and stash of liquor that I found?" Blitzo said.
"…Sure" Charlie said.
Husker and Angel Dust perked up at the mention of booze.
"What kind of liquor are we talking here?" Angel asked.
"Not the cheap stuff, that's for sure" Loona said.
That sold it for the two of them.
"Bullshit if you think you're taking that" Husker said.
The two of them raced to the door and pushed each other out of the way to get outside.
"Hey! I found that stuff first, so I call dibs!" Blitzo snapped as he raced after them.
Lue cackled as he followed after the group.
"Damn, songbird. You sure do have some interesting friends."
Loona went over to one of the couches and pulled out her phone. Her job was done so now she was going to chill.
Jenny looked at Charlie and Vaggie with a sheepish grin.
"Sorry about Blitz. He means well" she said.
Vaggie sighed as she held her forehead.
"How are you friends with him anyway?" she had to ask.
"It's long story" was all Jenny would say.
/
"Well, we got this thing into the laundry room, so now what?" Loona asked.
It took Jenny, Loona, Charlie, Vaggie and Mei to drag the washing machine into the laundry room. Since the guys ran off to ransack that dead person's home and Alastor was a no show it was just the girls in the hotel.
"You think we can put it together if we follow a video tutorial?" Mei asked.
"Maybe but I don't feel like busting two machines in one day" Jenny said.
"I could always see if Tony can give me instructions over the phone" Charlie offered.
"I'll see where Nifty went. She's always cleaning so she must know how to put this together" Vaggie said.
The two of them left to see if they could get their washing machine working.
"What do we do now?" Mei asked.
"Nothing. We did all the hard work so now it's time to relax" Loona said.
"I'm actually getting hungry so let's go make something to eat" Jenny suggested.
They went into the kitchen where they put together a bunch of sandwiches.
"I've never been to a hotel that was so lax and personal" Mei said.
"It's like I'm living at home."
"That's kind of the vibe Charlie is going for. She wants to show Sinners there's more to Hell then just stealing and doing foul deeds. She wants them to see that people can change and learn from their mistakes. If Angels can come down to Hell, why not the other way around?" Jenny said.
"And what are you supposed to be doing here? You acting as housekeeping?" Loona asked.
"No, that's Nifty's job. I'm supposed to be the life coach. I talk to the tenants that stay here and explain how they can change. And also talk about what they missed out on life when they were doing horrible things" Jenny explained.
"How did you get down here? You don't look like someone who did something horrible" Mei said.
"I was used as a human sacrifice for a cult" Jenny said flatly.
"O-oh" Mei stammered.
Jenny sighed and set her plate on the table. There was no point in being upset over that incident. Blitz, Millie and Moxxie killed the ones responsible for it so once she returned home, she wouldn't have to worry about running into them.
"Anyway, my goal is to help you see that you can learn from your past and- "
"AH, HA, HA! Finally, I've managed to sneak back in and have my revenge on this place!"
The three girls jumped at the new voice they heard and looked at each other. Getting up from their seats they hurried to the lobby to find a crazy sight.
It was none other than Sir Pentious.
"What the fuck? I thought Alastor blew you and your ship up a few weeks ago?" Jenny muttered.
Sir Pentious freaked out at the mention of Alastor and looked around.
"He's not here, is he?!"
"…No, I think he went out" Jenny said slowly.
The snake warlord sighed with relief then held up a blaster.
"Perfect! Now I can blow this place to smithereens and claim this area as my turf!"
Mei shrieked and hid behind Jenny. Jenny raised an eyebrow at the weapon.
"You sure you're supposed to be handling that?" she asked.
"Of course! I made it after all. No one can stand a chance against I, Sir Pentious!"
"Didn't she just mention that you got blown up by Alastor?" Loona asked.
Jenny looked at the blaster then back at Pentious.
"You made this?"
"Yes, I did! As well as my ship that I used to blow up the front of this building" Pentious said proudly.
The wheels started turning in Jenny's head.
"So…you're good at building things…and putting things together?"
Pentious grew a little puzzled by the multiple questions. Why wasn't this woman afraid?
"As I said before, yes! I'm a master inventor! There's nothing in the Pride Ring I can't create or fix!"
Jenny wore a shit eating grin.
Jackpot!
She went over to him and grabbed his hand.
"Come with me for a second"
She tugged him along towards the laundry room. Mei looked on in awe as she saw Jenny manhandling the snake demon.
"She's so cool!" she gushed.
Loona rolled her eyes and hurried after Jenny to make sure she was ok.
Sir Pentious was confused that the human was taking him further into the hotel. Shouldn't she be trying to kick him out?
They made it to the laundry room where Jenny presented him with the washing machine.
"Are you able to hook this up?"
Sir Pentious looked at the machine then back at her.
"I beg your pardon?"
"Can you put this together so we can wash our laundry here" Jenny said.
"Our old one broke down on us and we had to get a new one. Problem is the guy who is supposed to fix it won't be able to do so for a few weeks and since there is a bunch of females staying here, we have a lot of laundry to wash."
Sir Pentious gave her a disgusted look.
"You think I'm a handyman?!"
"You did mention that you put things together in the lobby" Jenny pointed out.
"I'm an inventor! I create weapons of war and destruction-not repair household products! I would never stoop so low as to- "
Jenny held up a wad of cash in front of him.
"Say no to a lady who asked for my help! That would be very ungentlemanly of me" he finished.
"So, you'll fix it?" Jenny asked.
Sir Pentious looked at the washing machine and scratched his head.
"Shouldn't be that complicated to figure out" he muttered.
He took off his jacket and hat as he went over to examine the machine.
/
"Here you go" Jenny said.
She placed a plate of egg sandwiches and a glass of iced tea on the dryer.
"O-oh, why thank you" Pentious said.
The snake nibbled on one of the sandwiches as he checked the lines for the machine. For someone who was grumbling about doing 'handy work' he really took his task seriously.
Jenny supervised the snake just to make sure he didn't turn it into a cannon or something. She noticed that his hat was looking at her.
"Can I ask a question?"
The snake sighed.
"Yes, my hat is alive. It's an extension of me" he said. Seemed like he was asked that a lot.
"Ok. Then can I ask another one?"
"Sure"
"What time period is your outfit supposed to be? I'm getting 1900 vibes but I'm also seeing Victorian in it as well."
"It's a little bit a both actually. I was alive during the late 1800's but I also enjoyed the fashion of the early 1900's when I came down here" Pentious explained.
"Ah, I get it. You're so used to the clothing that you grew up with that you want to see what outfits were like from a different time" Jenny surmised.
"Exactly! While I do enjoy a nice dapper suit, I've found some of the modern clothing to be quite fascinating" the snake said.
"Oh?"
Pentious stopped what he was doing and fiddled with the wrench he was holding.
"I would like it if Sinners saw that I wasn't some old timer, I want to be modern and hip" he said.
He realized what he said and panicked.
"I-I never said that! Forget what you just heard!"
Jenny gave him a tender smile.
"Hey, I'm the same way too" she said.
"You are?"
Jenny nodded.
"I'm the opposite though. I've always wanted to be one of those movie stars from the early 1900's. They were always pretty and classy. Actors today are mostly famous for doing stupid stuff online but back then you were famous cause you had talent. My version of being hip is being classy."
Pentious looked at her in wonder. He had seen her face on the news when she was chewing out Katie Killjoy and when she went up against those exterminators a few days ago. She gave off this bad ass vibe to the public but in reality, she seemed pretty sweet. And now that he saw her in person, he noticed how pretty her green eyes were.
He blushed and quickly shook his head.
"Everything should be hooked up now. Let's give it a test run."
He turned on the machine. Like magic it filled up with water without spraying the room.
"Yay! No more dirty laundry" Jenny sang.
"Putting something like this together is a walk in the park for me" Pentious said smugly.
"Well, you saved me a huge headache, so I'll agree with you on that" Jenny said.
She handed him the money she offered early and shook his hand.
"Thanks for doing this. I'm Jennifer by the way but feel free to call me Jenny."
Pentious was stunned for a few seconds but returned the handshake.
"Sir Pentious, but I'm sure you already know that" he said.
"Kinda hard not to know who you are when you blow up the front of the building I'm staying at" Jenny deadpanned.
The snake laughed nervously.
"W-well, I best be on my way. I need to make sure my minions aren't breaking anything" he said.
"You have minions?! I didn't know Sinners could have those down here. I thought only Overlords did" Jenny said.
"I'm a Warlord, my dear. While I'm not on the same level as an Overlord I'm still above a Sinner" Pentious explained.
"Ohhh ok. Well, it's still an impressive title" Jenny said.
Pentious blushed as he followed Jenny out into the lobby. No one ever really found the title of a Warlord to be that interesting.
"How did that thing get inside the hotel?" Alastor asked.
Pentious screamed when he saw the Radio Demon by the stairs and hid behind Jenny. The human looked between the snake and Overlord.
"You finally came out of hiding, huh?"
"It was quiet, so I figured that Imp left" Alastor said flatly.
"I ask again, how did that thing get inside the hotel?"
Jenny looked at the snake's shivering body and shrugged.
"He fixed the new washing machine for us" she said.
Alastor raised an eyebrow.
"Did he now?"
"Yep. He knew how to put it together so he installed it so we wouldn't have to wait three weeks for Tony to do it. And this was his way of apologizing for blowing up the front of the hotel a few weeks ago" Jenny said.
Pentious caught on what Jenny was saying and poked his head from behind her and nodded.
"That's right! It was foolish of me to think I could go up against you and I wanted to make up for what I did!" he said.
When Alastor narrowed his eyes at him, he yelped and hid back behind Jenny.
"Why do I not believe in your story?" he said.
Jenny shrugged.
"You don't have to. Just like you don't have to believe that I managed to get a copy of the key to your office so every time you piss me off, I go in there and scratch one of your records."
To prove her point she held up said key.
"You really want to play that game with me, Miss. Firecracker?" Alastor taunted.
"I'm bored since you're keeping me locked in the hotel until I get better so sure" Jenny replied.
The two had a stare down to see who would cave in first. Alastor sighed and held the bridge of his nose.
"You're quite the handful, my dear. Very well, he hasn't done anything to piss me off so why bother hurting him?" he said.
"Just get him out of here before I change my mind."
"Aw, I knew you'd understand" Jenny cooed.
Alastor made a face and walked away. Sir Pentious looked at Jenny in awe. She talked back to the Radio Demon and didn't get torn to pieces. This woman was unstoppable.
Jenny looked at Pentious in confusion.
"You ok?"
The snake warlord snapped out of it and composed himself.
"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"
"Ok, just checking. I know Alastor can be a brat for fun" Jenny said.
"Anyway, if you ever wanna feel hip stop by. I'm from the most recent era and everything is hip. I'll give you a few pointers, so you won't be so cheesy."
Sir Pentious blushed when Jenny smiled at him. Not wanting to make a fool of himself, he quickly hurried out of the hotel.
Loona went up to Jenny. She had been watching the whole thing this entire time in case the warlord did anything.
"The fuck was that about?"
"No idea but at least the washer is working now. Let's go clean our laundry before someone breaks it again" Jenny teased.
/
The next day
"When I said to bring that stuff back, I didn't mean you could steal from other homes instead" Charlie sighed.
The guys returned with random stuff they found in the homes of those who died from the cleanse. Most was practical stuff like food and toiletries but there was the occasional money, jewels and pricy objects.
"Someone was going to do the same thing as we were so why let them have all the good stuff?" Angel said.
"The food would have gone bad at those places so we could use that here until the stores open up again," princess Lue said.
Charlie pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned. The hotel wasn't opened to the public yet, so she didn't have to worry about setting a bad example.
"No more stealing. We need to set an example if this project is to work" she warned.
All the guys grumbled.
Blitzo made sure Alastor wasn't around and gave Jenny a bag of clothing.
"I snagged some outfits that would cover most of your skin. This should tie you over until we get you home" he whispered.
Jenny took the bag in gratitude.
"Thanks, B"
"Just stay away from household products until we're out of here. I don't think I can get away with stripping again" Blitzo teased.
Jenny just snickered.
"While you were gone, I saw the most interesting character I've met since I've been down here. He kinda gave me Moxxie vibes" she said.
"Who the fuck would be like Moxxie down here?"
The door to the lobby slammed open as Sir Pentious came inside.
"Greetings, dear maiden!" he said.
He went over to Jenny and presented her with a bouquet of flowers that he made out of cogs and gears.
"Since you enjoyed classical things, I thought you would enjoy these" he offered.
Jenny looked at the flowers in awe.
"Did you make these?"
"Indeed, I did! I may create weapons of destruction, but I tend to make small trinkets every now and then" he said.
Jenny looked at the steam-punked inspired flowers and smiled.
"Aw, thank you! I never had homemade flowers before. Now I don't have to worry about them wilting."
Pentious's face went bright red at the compliment. Taking his hat off, he fiddled with it as he cleared his throat.
"Y-you mentioned yesterday if I wanted to learn how to be more hip, I could always come here, correct?"
"I did, yes."
"So, if I were to stay at this establishment, that would be possible?"
"Ummm, I guess? I don't think it's considered a sin to be hip. Now that I think about it, it would be funny to see a hipster angel" Jenny snorted.
Pentious grabbed one of her hand with his and squeezed it.
"May I stay here so you can teach me how to be hipper and cooler?" he asked.
Blitzo growled when he saw the snake touching her.
"Hands off" he growled.
Jenny blinked at the sudden request. She was not expecting that. She looked at Charlie and shrugged.
"It's your hotel, Charlie. You get the final say."
Charlie was just as dumbfounded by the situation as everyone else. But she wasn't going to say no to another tenant at the hotel.
"Sure, I guess" she said.
Sir Pentious's eyes sparkled with delight as he looked at Jenny.
"How wonderful! I do look forward to what you will teach me!"
He kissed the back of her hand like a gentleman. Next thing he knew, Alastor was right next to him with glowing red eyes.
"Hands. Off"
Pentious screamed and quickly ran away in fright.
And that was how not only did Charlie gain a new tenant for the hotel but how Jenny gained a crush.
/
A/N: So, this was my rendition of how Pentious joined the cast. Hopefully I kept him in character and made him a little funny.
Seems like Jenny is starting to get her own little fan club starting. Think we should add a few more people to this club?
Please review and tell me what you think!
Take care!