****Disclaimer: The following is NOT canon the the main story****
What sort of gifts do you get for a monster girl? This was a question that I had asked myself a thousand times for the last few weeks. Why? Well, turn on any radio station, or watch any TV channel, and it was pretty obvious why.
Yes, it's Christmas time once again.
This year will be my first christmas with the girls, and I wanted to make sure that they had a great time. That means that I have to pull out all of the stops.
"Girls, i'm going out for a while. Watch the house until I get back okay?" I announced to the room as I put on my coat.
"Where are you going? Need some help?" Liz asked me from the couch.
"Umm…. nowhere. Be good! Okay bye." I slammed the door and quickly made my way to the truck in the driveway. Once I pulled out into the street, I made my way to the hardware store.
Alright, it's go time.
The store was playing the same christmas songs I heard every single year, but I still love listening to them regardless.
Let me check my list to see what we need for the house.
-lights
-garland
-tinsel
-holly
-silver bells
-one of those inflatable santas for the yard
Last but not least
-a big ass christmas tree
Check check check check check and check.
By this point, I had overstuffed my shopping cart, and needed the store clerk to help me carry all of this stuff back with me to my truck.
I spent the whole time on the drive home thinking of the look on the girls faces when they see all of these awesome christmas decorations. Oh man, it's going to be great!
Once the truck pulled back into the driveway, I got out and went inside the house. Everyone was still on the couch, but now they were watching the Philadelphia Eagles. Man, Ellie sure has turned into a real hardcore fan since moving here.
"Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas girls!" I announced it to them. They all turned and gave me a stupid look.
"What? Cole, what are you talking about?"
"What do you mean? It's christmas time! That means it's time for decorations! See, I got all this awesome stuff from the store to put around the house and~"
Priya interrupted me. "Sorry but what the heck is Christmas?"
I stood there in shock. "Are you serious? You don't know what Christmas is? Do any of you know what Christmas is?" The three of them shook their heads no.
"Oh. My. God. I can't believe this. Well, girls, gather around. It's time that you all learn an important lesson."
I walked over to the TV and changed the channel from the Eagles game to the hallmark channel. They were playing some cheesy christmas movie.
"Oi cunt why did ya fuckin' change the channel? I was watching that! Hurts was about to fuckin' score mate, they were in the fuckin' red zone."
"Ellie, this is more important. Besides, Philly is up 21-0. I'm sure it's fine. Now girls, it's time for you to learn about Christmas."
We sat there and watched the hallmark movie. I don't remember which one it was, because they're all pretty much the same.
"Awww Cole! Christmas sounds so romantic!" Priya was getting excited watching the ending of the movie. It's a hallmark movie, so you already know the ending.
"So is this some kind of romantic holiday? Like Valentine's Day?" Liz was confused.
"No no no! It's way more than that. Here, let's watch something else." I changed the channel to another network. They were showing the classic movie Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
Once that movie was finished, the girls were still confused.
"So you're saying Christmas is about some fuckin' magic reindeer cunts that fly and pull a sleigh full of toys? And some fat cunt named Santa Claus goes around giving away all this free shit because he fuckin' feels like it? But he only does it once per year? Yeah you're off your fuckin' head mate. This sounds like a bunch of bullshit."
"No it's not Ellie, this is a big deal, and I promise it's fun! Here, let's watch one more." I flipped through the channels and turned it on the classic christmas movie It's a Wonderful Life.
After we finished watching the movie, Priya looked like her brain had turned to mush.
"Okay now I'm really confused. So Christmas is about suicide prevention? Are you sure this is a holiday?"
"Ahhh dang it, this isn't working. Look, Christmas isn't something that you can simply explain. You can't really watch it either. It's something you have to experience for yourself. Especially as a kid. I remember growing up, some of my happiest childhood memories were from spending Christmas with my family. They're gone now, but I want you to experience the magic of Christmas too. Hopefully you'll learn to love it like I did."
"Yeah nah thats real fuckin' neato mate, but can you put the game back on? The Eagles are in the red zone." Ellie was not interested in this at all. Whatever. I gave her the remote and she turned back on the football game.
"Wooo Touchdown!" I heard her as I walked away from the living room. I was serious when I said that Christmas is something that you have to experience for yourself. When these girls go to sleep tonight, I'm going to turn this house into the freaking north pole.
X
The next day
It took all night, but this place is on par with santa's workshop. The girls woke up and started going downstairs. I was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee waiting for them.
"Wooaahhhh" Liz said as she looked around the living room.
"What happened to our house?" Priya looked on in astonishment.
"Bloody hell mate"
The three girls looked around and saw a true winter wonderland. The crown molding on the living room ceiling was covered in garland. There were silver bells over the arches in the hallway, and all sorts of lights adorned the walls. Last but not least, there was a huge 7ft artificial christmas tree in the living room. Covered in ribbons, lights, beads, and a big bright star at the top.
"Good morning girls. Welcome to Christmas!" I looked on with a proud smile. They couldn't believe what they were seeing. The house never looked like this before.
"Cole, did you do this?" Priya asked me. I nodded.
"You stayed up all night to set this up?" Liz asked too. I nodded again.
"Oi cunt, there's a fucking tree in our house." Ellie, why do you always have to ruin the mood?
"Exactly. Thats what you're supposed to do at Christmas time. Everyone puts up a tree in their house and decorates it with lights and stuff."
Ellie walked over and inspected the tree some more. "I don't get it mate. What does a tree in your house have to do with Christmas? Isn't it bad to cut down trees?"
"No Ellie, this one is fake. It's not a real tree."
"Yeah but still. This holiday still doesn't make any bloody sense mate. Tree looks nice though."
Great… all of that work, and they still have no idea what Christmas is all about. Looks like I need to try a different approach.
X
Later
The girls and I went out to the park to meet up with someone who I thought might be able to explain things better.
"Hey Cole! Good to see you again man."
"Ronnie, what's up dude?" I shook his hand and have him a quick one hand half-hug.
"Ahh you know, just getting everything ready for Christmas. This year is special, since it's my first one with the missus."
RIght on cue, Greta the Lich came out from behind him. She looked nice, wearing a heavy coat and a white scarf around her neck.
"Hello Mr. Casey. It's nice to see you again." She reached out and shook my hand after greeting me in her monotone voice.
"You too. Girls, you remember Ronnie and Greta?" Priya and Ellie and Liz all nodded. They were all wearing jackets except for Liz, who was right at home in the cold weather.
"So man, what about you? You guys ready for Christmas?" Ronnie asked me.
"Ehh not really. It's my first Christmas with the girls, and they don't really understand what the holiday is all about."
Ronnie laughed. "Hahaha ahh man why didn't you say so sooner! Look ladies, Christmas is the season of joy and good cheer! This time of year, we all give each other gifts, and sing Christmas songs, watch Christmas movies, and spend time with people we love."
"Yeah but mate, what does any of that have to do with trees in your house?" Ellie asked.
"Or suicide prevention?" Priya asked too.
"Or romance?" Liz asked as well.
Ronnie was starting to scratch his head in confusion too, since he didn't know what the girls were talking about. Greta put her hand on his shoulder. "Excuse me, but I think you are all missing the point. Ladies, do you want to know the true meaning of Christmas?" All of the girls nodded.
Greta cleared her throat.
And there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And Lo, an angel of the Lord came upon them, and they were so afraid. But the angel said to them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, tis Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign unto you: you will find him wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace and goodwill toward men."
Greta paused a second and looked back at the girls.
"And that's what Christmas is all about, ladies."
X
Christmas Eve
Here we go! This is it. The night before the big day. The house looked so great, both inside and outside. The yard was obnoxiously decorated, almost as bad as the Griswolds. Now all that was left to do was go to the store and get all the food ready.
Why go to all this trouble for just 3 people? Well, because it's not just 3 people. I was throwing a Christmas party. Everyone was invited. Even the folks from MON were invited to come. Everything had to be perfect. This was the girls first Christmas, so everything had to be perfect.
Once I paid for all the food at the counter, the clerk made a little comment.
"That's a lot of food you got there. You throwing a party or something?"
"Haha yeah. A little Christmas party at my house."
The clerk looked a little sad when she heard that. "Must be nice."
"What about you? Got any plans for Christmas?"
She looked away and sighed. "No, i'm not doing anything. Didn't do anything last year, and probably won't do anything this year either. Christmas ain't really my thing."
I don't know why, but I felt bad for the poor girl. Maybe it was the spirit of Christmas, but I felt like I should spread some Christmas cheer.
"Hey, umm, if you want, you can come to my party tonight."
The girl at the cash register looked at me and smiled. "Thanks. That's really nice of you." Once all of my groceries were bagged, I grabbed my cart and left the store. Right before I walked out of the store, I turned back and I could have sworn she had horns on her head.
When I got back home, I went straight to the kitchen. After all, there were only a few hours left until the party. This food was not going to make itself
"Hey Cole, what's this thing hanging in the hallway?" Priya asked me. I walked over to where she was and saw what she was talking about.
"Oh that? It's the mistletoe."
"It looks nice. What is it for?"
"Well, Christmas tradition says that when two people stand underneath it at the same time, they have to kiss."
Priya's face got bright red, and then she smiled. "Well well well, it looks like we're both standing underneath it right now. Does that mean?"
"Umm..well not right now. I still have to finish baking and~"
"~no way! You said it yourself, we have to kiss now!" Priya lunged at me, but I was able to dodge it. The noise caused enough commotion to get Ellie's attention.
"What are you cunts fighting about now?!"
"Cole has to kiss me right now! It's Christmas rules!" Priya got a hungry look on her face and started chasing after me. Ellie swopped in, grabbed Priya with her talons, and threw her across the room.
"Like hell you are! No way i'm letting you kiss my mate right in my house. Christmas rules get fucked."
"Girls stop fighting! You're breaking the decorations!"
Priya got up and lunged at Ellie, but she was able to dodge her and instead, Priya ended up flying into the wall, knocking all of the stockings off.
"Would you girls cut it out!" Liz finally stepped in and tried to get a hold of the situation.
"Liz let go! I have to kiss Cole right now. It's the Christmas rules." Priya used her snake tail to strangle Liz. The big mama bear grabbed Priya and threw her across the room, but this time she landed in the Christmas tree. Smashing the ornaments, and knocking the whole thing over.
"STOOOOP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Everyone stopped and looked at me. There were tears in my eyes and I inspected the damage.
"All I wanted to do, was show you girls a fun Christmas. I worked so hard to put all of this together, and you ruined it. You ruined everything."
"Cole~"
"No! You know what, forget it. None of you cared about Christmas this whole time. It may seem like a stupid holiday to you, but to me, Christmas was one of the only happy memories I had with my old family. I'll never get to spend Christmas with them again, but I thought maybe I could spend Christmas with you three. How foolish of me. Turns out we don't celebrate Christmas in this house!"
Tears were flowing down my face, but dammit I was so angry. I grabbed my coat and car keys and stormed out of the house.
X
After Cole had Left the House
The party was supposed to start in a few minutes, and the living room was completely destroyed. Priya, Ellie, and Liz all stood around and admired the destruction they had caused during a fight that only lasted a few minutes.
"Wow, I feel like shit." Ellie whispered.
"I had no idea it meant so much to him." Liz walked over to the tree and picked it up off the ground.
**Ding Dong**
"Who could that be at this hour?" Priya slithered over to answer the door. She was shocked to see that it was the last person she would have expected.
"Merry Christmas!"
"Lily?! What the hell are you doing here?!"
The Lilim looked surprised to see the house destroyed like it was. "Umm I was invited here. Cole said he was hosting a party tonight, and he invited me."
The girls all looked embarrassed. "Sorry, but looks like the party is canceled." Priya mumbled. Lily was having none of it. She pushed Priya out of her way and walked inside the house.
"What the hell happened here?!"
"Umm we sort of got in a fight and fucked it all up." Ellie admitted. Lily shook her head.
"No no no, this won't do at all. Girls, don't you know that Christmas is a time of love and peace. You can't be fighting like that, not on Christmas eve! Where's Cole?"
"He stormed off and left a while ago." Liz replied.
"Okay, then have any of the party guests arrived yet besides me?" Liz shook her head.
"Good, we still have time. Ladies, if you love Cole like I think you do, then we're going to work together to clean this place up. With a touch of my Lilim magic, the four of us are going to turn this place into a winter wonderland."
X
Meanwhile
The night was cold, but the wind made it feel much colder. Since it was Christmas eve, there were no cars on any of the roads. I didn't know where to go, so I went to the park. It was the only place I could think of that didn't have any Christmas decorations.
It was dark and quiet. Just the kind of place I wanted to be right now.
I walked around and found some playground equipment. Thank goodness nobody was around, because seeing a grown man sitting on a swing set must look pretty pathetic.
All I could do was stare up at the sky, and admire how beautiful the stars looked tonight.
"What are you doing out this late?" A woman's voice called out. I looked around and saw a young girl sitting next to me on the swing set. She had a shrine maiden's outfit, fox ears and a tail.
"Tamamo. What are you doing here?"
"I live here, Cole Casey."
"At the park? But I thought you lived in a shrine?"
"All of the natural world is my home. Forests, mountains, deserts, and oceans are just rooms in a house to me."
"So then why are you here at the park? Talking to me?"
Tamamo frowned. "Stop dodging my question, Mr. Casey. It's Christmas Eve, so why are you out all alone in the park at night?"
Sigh. "Well, I had planned this big Christmas party at my house, to show Priya and Ellie and Liz what Christmas was all about. They have never had Christmas before, so I wanted to make sure that everything was perfect. The decorations were splendid, the tree was glowing, and the food was done. Just before the party started, Priya and Ellie and Liz got into a fight. They broke everything. The house was totally ruined. I was so mad that I just left them there. So to answer your question, I came here to be alone."
Tamamo looked at me with understanding that only a spirit could.
"Cole, my child. You say that these girls don't know about Christmas, but I'm afraid it is you who does not understand what Christmas is all about."
"W-what? I don't understand."
"You see, Christmas is not about having fancy decorations, or a big tree, or even fancy food. Christmas is about spreading love and peace to the world. You spent all that time and money on decorations and party supplies, but did you even bother to get any of those girls a Christmas present?"
Oh my god, she's right. She's absolutely right. I can't believe that I got so caught up in throwing a big party that I never even bothered to get the girls anything for Christmas.
"N-no I didn't. How could I have been so selfish? The whole reason I did any of this was for my own benefit, not theirs. On top of that, I yelled at them too. God, I'm such a piece of shit."
Tamamo stepped off her swing, walked over to me, and gave me a hug.
"Hey now, don't say that. Those girls love you, more than you can possibly imagine. You don't need to throw a big party, or buy them expensive gifts either."
"So then, what should I do?"
Tamamo smiled. "Remember what I said earlier." She's right. I don't need to do anything. This is the season of love and joy and peace on earth.
"You're right. All I need to do to tell those girls I love them. That's all they wanted for Christmas this whole time.
"Now you understand. But you better hurry, it's getting late, and Santa Claus is on his way!"
I looked over at Tamamo. "Thank you, but how do you know about Santa Claus? He's not real. He's just a myth."
"Ha! So am I, but I can assure you, that fat old man is very real. He and I play fantasy football together!"
Somewhere off in the distance, I saw a shooting star across the sky. Tamamo stood there laughing, and I swear I heard the sound of sleighbells ringing.
"Here, I put some magic in this swing set. Swing as high as you can, and jump with all your heart." I did as she said, and once I got as high as I could go I jumped. Right before I landed I heard her yell out.
"Merry Christmas Cole Casey!"
And when my feet hit the ground, I was in my front yard.
X
All of the Christmas lights were turned off, and the house was dark. I don't know how late it was, but I walked up to the front door and turned the knob. When I walked inside, the house came to life.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS COLE CASEY!"
Oh my god, this place was a freaking winter wonderland. All over the house, the decorations had all come back to life. I couldn't believe my eyes. Even the tree was back, and it looked better than ever.
Standing right in front of me were my three girls. Priya, Ellie and Liz. Behind them were Ms. Smith, Ronnie, Greta, Chase, Charlotte, even the girls from MON were there too. Everyone came!
"G-girls, did you do this?" I started choking up. They nodded their heads no.
"We're sorry for ruining Christmas. We didn't know it meant that much to you, so we worked real hard to put everything back like you had it before." Priya smiled. "But we had some help."
"Who? Who could have done this?"
I felt someone poke my shoulder. When I turned, I saw a beautiful woman with white hair, red eyes, and horns.
"Lily?! What the~did you do this?"
She smiled. "Of course I did. When the girls told me what happened, I couldn't just let the party get canceled. After all, this was the first Christmas party I have ever been invited to."
Once again, my eyes started watering up.
"Y-you guys! You're the best." Priya, Ellie, and Liz all came up and wrapped me in a group hug.
"Uh oh, look up you guys." Lily was holding a mistletoe over our heads.
"Christmas rules say you have to kiss us now!" Priya smiled. She was right. Time to give the girls their Christmas gifts.
First I turned to Liz. Stepping on my tiptoes, I cupped her face with my cheek, and reached up to kiss her. I couldn't reach, so she wrapped her arm around my back, and bent down to kiss me.
"Merry Christmas mama bear."
Next I turned to Ellie, who was blushing furiously. "Uhh umm you know mate, you don't have to if you don't want to~mmppphhhhh"
"Merry Christmas mate."
Ellie was still blushing when I turned to the last girl. She was so happy, her smile reached from sea to shining sea. I cupped her cheek and leaned in close.
"Merry Christmas Priya".
The two of us shared a much deeper kiss than I had with the others. She even slipped a little bit of tongue in there.
"Hey guys, look outside! It's snowing!" Lily pointed out the window. We all stopped what we were doing and ran out into the front yard. Once we were all outside, we were blinded by the outside lights on the house turning on.
Oh my god, Lily even got this place to look exactly like the Griswold house. That cheeky devil.
Snow started falling as we all looked up at the sky. Everyone was so happy to see the frozen precipitation. Well, everyone except Priya. She doesn't handle the cold very well.
As I looked up at the sky, I saw that same shooting star again, and I could have sworn I heard someone saying Ho Ho Ho off in the distance.
AN: Bonjour dear reader! The beach episode ended up being much longer than I originally anticipated, so I thought I should at least post something to keep you guys entertained until it comes out. The beach episode will feature plenty of fan service, plot progression, as well as the introduction of our next girl, Olga the Orca. I plan to have it out before New Years Eve, but in the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this fun little Christmas chapter. Tis the season for love and joy and peace on earth. Wherever you are in the world , and wherever you are in life, I want you to know that I love you. It brings me great joy to know you all read my story, and I wish for peace to be with you this holiday season. On behalf of Cole Casey, Priya the King Cobra, Ellie the Australian Wedge Tail Eagle, Liz the Grizzly bear, and the rest of the cast of Everyday Life with Apex Predators, I would like to wish you, my dear reader, a very Merry Christmas.