Hermione kept casting furtive glances to the other side of the classroom. She hoped that Markus would notice her signals before the History class was over. She hadn't spoken to him for weeks and she really wanted to know how Augusta was doing now. Especially after her own experience with Lestrange, her guilt about what she and Tom did to that girl worsened.
At last, he seemed to notice her. She raised an eyebrow and he just nodded. Satisfied, she returned to her parchment and took notes of Professor Binns' boring lecture. She was still surprised every time she saw him alive. Part of her expected that one day he would simply appear as a ghost and continue teaching - as legend had it.
When the class was finally over, she took her time packing up and was the last to leave the room with Markus. All the other students rushed off to lunch, so they were unobserved, at least for the moment.
"Good afternoon, Mr Longbottom," she greeted him politely as he stepped to her.
"I wish you the same," he returned the greeting.
They stood in silence for a moment, staring at the other side of the corridor, before Hermione found the courage to start the conversation. "I've never been one for small talk, so I'll get straight to the point. How is Miss Bargeworthy?"
To her surprise, a smile appeared on his face. "Good, very good. She's somehow managed to find herself again. Or find a new self. At least she's just as confident again as she was before."
"And?" Hermione asked, clearly recognising from the boy's flushed cheeks that there was more to it than that.
"We're getting married this summer."
Smirking, she stood directly in front of him and folded her arms in front of her chest challengingly. "Can you repeat that please?"
"We ... we're getting married this summer. She's accepted my proposal. Our families are delighted and my mother is already busy planning with Mrs Bargeworthy." Embarrassed, Markus scratched the back of his neck.
"Oh, that's happy news. Congratulations on your life going so well despite everything!" Hermione was genuinely happy. Of course, she knew that Augusta Longbottom would have grandchild someday, but to see with her own eyes how this traumatised young woman was tackling her life and not letting it get her down felt empowering
Silence spread between them. Hermione would have loved nothing more than to ask how Augusta was coping with her terrible experience, but she knew that Markus would hardly want to talk about it.
"Miss Dumbledore," he suddenly began. "I find it difficult to keep my silence. I find it difficult to see you at Riddle's side when I know what he has done. Even though I don't know what happened, I've heard that you were also recently the victim of violence. Is he behind that as well?"
A shiver ran through her body, but Hermione forced herself not to give in to it. Whenever she thought about what Lestrange had done to her, it was as if a bottomless black hole opened up beneath her, wanting to swallow her up. She didn't know how to get out of it, so she was currently doing her best to push it away whenever memories came up. She shook her head resolutely. "It wasn't Tom. I don't like to say it, especially when I think of Miss Bargeworthy, but it was Tom who saved me."
She saw Markus clench his fists. "I find it hard to believe your words. I know what a monster he is." He swallowed and looked to the side. His voice sounded harsh as he continued. "If he could show so much compassion towards you, why ... why did he ..."
His voice broke and he fell silent. Carefully, Hermione placed a hand on his upper arm. "You don't have to change your feelings for Tom just because he was good to me, Mr Longbottom. No one is all bad and only does bad things. But that doesn't make the bad things he does any better. You can still hate him for what he did."
"I think I hate myself a lot more," Markus whispered, ignoring her hand on his arm. His gaze lay blankly on the deserted corridor. "I was there. I was there, Miss Dumbledore. I could have prevented it. I loved Augusta even then and I simply didn't do anything. She never blamed me. She even agreed to marry me. And I let her down in the worst possible way."
Hermione swallowed. She could understand where these thoughts were coming from, but of course they were nonsense. Resolutely, she put her hand on his cheek and turned his face towards her so that she could look him in the eye. "You were overwhelmed by the situation and didn't want to cause your good friend any distress. You didn't want to take her agency away and trusted Augusta's judgement. That honours you, Mr Longbottom. You behaved impeccably. You couldn't have known there was a spell on her and that she was being forced."
He closed his eyes for a moment, then let out a long breath. "I know. Your words are right, and I know that. I say it to myself all the time. But I still feel guilty. I just wish it had never happened."
"Wanting to change things you can't change is the best way to become unhappy." A sad grin flitted across Hermione's lips. The sentence was so true, and yet she herself was guilty often enough of wanting to change things that were out of her control. She herself wished she could undo what Lestrange had done.
"I can't help it." The sentence came so quietly that Hermione almost didn't hear it.
She lowered her hand again and leant against the cool stone wall next to Markus. They should have both been on their way to the Great Hall by now, but Hermione knew this conversation was more important now. Sighing, she looked up at the ceiling. "I'm a bad counsellor for these things. When something bothers me, I usually bury myself in the library until I find a book that has a solution. But I don't know if there's a book that can relieve you of guilt."
"I'll be the best husband in the world." Markus looked determined as he said this. "I'll look after Augusta and make sure nothing bad ever happens to her again. I'll buy her a bouquet of flowers every day and tell her how much I love her."
Smiling, Hermione looked at him from the side. "You're already the best fiancé she could wish for."
They were both silent again, but Hermione had the feeling that he wasn't quite as agitated as he was a moment ago. She understood that. Whenever she felt overwhelmed and helpless, it helped her to make a concrete plan and get things done. Even if Markus couldn't undo the past with his future actions, she was sure that simply focussing on what he was going to do would distract him.
"Are you planning on becoming Riddle's wife?"
Hermione almost choked on her own breath. Eyes wide, she stared up at Markus, who in turn gave her a guilty smile. "Perhaps the question was too direct after all, forgive me."
Coughing, Hermione waved him off. "No, that's all right. Your candour is refreshing. And to give you an answer to your question: I don't know."
Of course she knew for sure. She wouldn't marry Tom because she would never get the chance. She would return home to her own time on the day of her graduation and she doubted that Tom would want to marry her in 1998. Not to mention that her goal was to put a stop to him - which meant that he would either rot in Azkaban for the rest of his life or, more likely, die.
Her time with Tom was drawing inexorably to a close. Not just here in 1945, but in general. There was no future for them in 1998.
"Do you think he'd propose?"
Hermione suppressed a grin and winked conspiratorially at Markus. "Maybe he already has?"
Now it was the Gryffindor's turn to stare at her with wide eyes. "You're not serious, are you?"
Laughing, she shook her head. "Let's just say Tom had the honour of speaking to my father, and my father is a rather headstrong person who makes others say things they might have preferred to keep quiet."
Markus tilted his head and furrowed his brow. Then he seemed to get her meaning. "Of course, the owner of the Hog's Head! I've never exchanged a word with him, but I wouldn't put it past him to get anyone talking. He's one of the reasons I've only been there once."
With a sigh, Hermione pushed herself off the wall and reached for her bag. "I'd better go to lunch. If I know Tom, he's already sent a search party after me. Which means he's gone looking for me himself."
"He seems genuinely concerned about you." There was no reproach in his voice, at most Hermione could hear astonishment.
She shrugged somewhat helplessly. "It would seem so. But I can only repeat myself - you don't have to change your mind about him just because he seems to be good to me."
She slung her schoolbag over her shoulder, waved goodbye to Markus, and then made her way to the Great Hall. She could understand only too well how confused the boy was. It was easy to categorise people into good and bad, black and white. It was easier to hate Tom if you just saw him as an unfeeling monster. That was how she had thought about Voldemort all her life.
Not for the first time, she wondered if, when she faced the real Lord Voldemort in 1998, she would still see Tom in him. Whether the memory of who he once was would cause her to falter. Because whatever happened, she would confront him. She would seek him out, show herself to him, and remind him that he had once almost been able to truly appreciate another person.
And then she would enable Harry to give him his just punishment - whatever that might be.
She would not waver. She would not hesitate.
Resolutely, she gripped the strap of her bag tighter. She could not hesitate. She was here to save the wizarding world, not Tom.