Disclaimer: Anything that rings a bell belongs to J.K Rowling
Chapter Ten: To Forgive, or not to Forgive: Part II
26th August 2005
Harry's POV
"Harry?" Ky poked her head out of my bedroom, and I glanced away from the rather dark book I was reading, my tummy flipped as I realised she was practically naked behind that door, her bare shoulder exposed. "Erm, do you have a shirt I can borrow? I don't actually have any clothes."
I frowned, "I thought Malfoy sent a bag?"
She sighed, rolling her eyes, "Narcissa purchased what she thought was clothes for me." Ahhh, well that explained the dress! I knew that wasn't something she'd wear.
"Why did she have to buy you clothes."
Ky shrugged and I had to look away from the motion of a lightly tan shoulder rolling up and down, displacing her dark locks, exposing skin that I knew to be both soft and sweet, "I didn't plan on staying with Draco for as long as I did. I promise, I'll give you all the details, but I'm kind of freezing here."
"Oh sorry." I jumped up, perhaps the night time fly after being drenched with water was not a good idea, even if it was summer. Though, it did wonders for our interaction, both of us letting our walls down a fair bit.
I flicked my wand, raising the heating wards for her comfort. "Erm." I cleared my throat and she stepped away from the door and I kept my eyes on hers as I entered my bedroom, not glancing down at her towel clad body.
I opened a drawer, taking out a plain white shirt, "Do you need pants?"
She laughed, "I'll take my chances with the ones Narcissa got me, surprisingly it's the only thing the woman and I agree on, who knew she'd shop at Agent Provocateur too."
I frowned in confusion trying to decipher her words, and then smiled, "I was trying to talk to you in your native language."
"Ahhh. American."
"Precisely." I then processed that Ky thought I meant pants like underwear, and tried hard not to imagine what kind of garments a shop called Agent Provocateur would sell.
"Well, yes please, do you still have those blue pyjama bottoms with the snitches?" I laughed, coming back to my senses, knowing which one she had been talking about, they were pretty faded but they were my favourite ones, and I handed it to her, "Sorry, I've been meaning to get around to shopping and I've just not found the time."
"It's okay." It was more than okay, I loved when Ky wore my clothes. She'd often climb into my shirt after we made love, and then it would smell of her all night. My eyes fell upon the picture of Ginny on my bedside drawer and my heart groaned.
I am the worst human on the planet.
"I'm going to jump in quickly." I backed into the bathroom, shutting the door and flinging off my clothes and trying to get lost in the heat of the water and not think about how Ky had been naked in here just moments ago.
Did seeing my teenage love actually turn me into a hormonal teenager?
No, if I had turned into a hormonal teenager, I'd have acted on the many impulses I had of snogging her face off every time she bit her bottom lip. Or concentrating on the feel of her nipples at my back when we were flying, which, being the adult that I am, I did't do. Or, noticing that her skin was just as soft as it used to be when we were holding hands back at the park.
Fuck.
I turned the faucet the other way, blasting my body with cold water.
A few minutes later I walked into the living room to find Ky curled up on the sofa, the book I had been reading earlier in her hands. She had tied her hair up, and my clothes were baggy on her but somehow that only made her sexier.
I walked over to my potions cabinet, and poured out a bit of diluted Pepper-up potion, which was good at preventing colds. I warmed it up and walked a mug over to her, "Here, can't have you dying on my watch."
She raised her brows at my words, but took the mug, "I think the shower did the trick but I suppose there's no harm in caution." She downed the potion and gagged.
"Hey, I happened to have brewed that myself!"
She continued with her hacking sounds, "Well, you were always shit at potions."
I gasped, "Well not all of us could have private lessons from the teacher."
"Well if I recall correctly private lessons were just wasted on you."
Her sentence hung in the air between us. Memories of her potions lab, of her skin wet with sweat that had nothing to do with fumes, of me on armchairs, and her on bench tops.
"So, dead bodies." She stated matter of factly, gesturing at the book, successfully pulling my attention away from our past, "You figure that's what the person wanted?"
"Well, that's what the Knockturn Alley chatter said." I took the book from her, and opened to a random page, "This shit's messed up. How do people do this?"
She smiled, her widest one yet and I grew self conscious, "What?"
"Nothing, just. You. You're still so…Harry."
"And that is?"
"Noble, and good." She whispered, "Darkness doesn't make sense to you."
"And it does to you?" I whispered back.
She remained silent for a few moments, "I get that people don't make perfect choices when they're clutching at straws."
"Well there's imperfect choices, and then there's evil. They don't have to be one in the same."
She nodded slowly, "I agree with you completely." Her eyes fell on the table, which was littered with folders. I ought to have cleaned it up when she got here, most of these I was technically not meant to take out of the office.
"Sorry, I know it's messy. Dobby stops by to clean every week, he insists on it, but he knows not to touch work stuff." I scratched the back of my neck, suddenly self conscious of the evidently terrible work life balance I had on display.
"Don't apologise for loving what you do." She smiled, a dark lock escaping from her hair tie and I had to fight the urge to push it behind her ear. I had spent so much time defending how much I worked, it was nice not to have to do that for a change.
"Do you?" I cleared my throat as it caught a bit, and she raised her brows in question, "Love what you do? What was it, computer science? I don't even know what that means."
She laughed, "Nobody does, really. It's what I was meant to go to school for before Hogwarts, and I kind of went on autopilot for a while. And it was by the far the least magical thing I could do - computers, and I really wanted that."
I let that sink in. Ky wasn't just running away from us, and her past, she was running away from magic itself? An awful thought crossed my mind - did she regret it all? Did she think if she didn't find magic, her family would never have died.
I didn't voice the question though, not prepared to hear that answer just yet.
"I don't know, technology to me seems the closest thing to magic muggles have."
She laughed, "It's because you don't get the behind the scenes peek at how the sausage gets made. Believe me, it's pretty unmagical, very rooted in math and logic. I think you're imagining cool video games, and fun apps - I'm in cybersecurity which is pretty dang boring but I love it."
"Cybersecurity?" I raised my brows, imagining what that must mean, "Like…an auror but for the internet?"
She burst out laughing and then stopped, "Oh my god…yes."
I shook my head at the fact that even with Ky immersing herself in the muggle world she still had to be some kind of protector. "And you're in grad school for that?"
She nodded, "Yeah, at Columbia, I wanted to move back to New York after Boston. I got offered a scholarship for PhD, and I wasn't really sure I wanted to do it, but it actually involves a lot of teaching, which is surprisingly my favourite part."
"Well, it's in your blood I guess." The statement slipped out and her breath hitched, and I internally groaned, we had been doing so well at keeping things light hearted and I just had to mention her dead grandfather.
"I suppose being an auror is in your blood?" I raised my brows at her question. I had only found out that my grandfather had been an auror himself when I joined the department, he had been something of a legend in the place, but how would Ky know that?
She glanced down at the table, a slight blush creeping onto her cheeks, she finally put the escaped lock back behind her ear, "Like I said earlier, it isn't hard finding information about you lot. Even in the States."
"Well, I wouldn't believe everything that's been in the Prophet."
She rolled her eyes, "What, you mean you didn't cheat on Hermione with Gabrielle Delacour?"
I sighed, ignoring the painful fact that she called her Hermione, and not Mi, running a hand through my hair, remembering the article she was talking about, "Skeeter is a work of art, really. You know the whole Weasley family, and Hermione, was at dinner with us, but she managed to snap a picture of the one second I had opened the door for Gabrielle and that story ran for months."
"Clearly too chivalrous for your own good. I suppose you were just being chivalrous with Alicia Spinnet as well?"
My mouth hung open, I had very briefly, upon constant nagging from all my friends, dated Alicia. The Prophet made it seem like I had a different girlfriend every week until I started dating Ginny, and then they pivoted from painting me as some kind of ladies man to a neglected boyfriend, making Ginny out to be someone who cared more for her career than her partner. But how did Ky figure out, from all those false stories, that Alicia was the only real one.
"We went on like two dates. We didn't even kiss." She raised her brows at me, "Barely." I stood, not wanting to have this conversation with her, flicking my wand and summoning mugs, as I walked into the kitchen "And I'll have you know she asked me out." I don't know why this mattered, but I didn't like her thinking that so soon after she died I had been going on dates. "At George's wedding." I added, flicking the kettle on, hoping she'd know that was a full three years after she had 'died'.
"The gentleman doth protest too much." She laughed, joining me at the counter, as I made us a cup of coffee and cocoa.
"You know this is entirely unfair. You know all about my life, and I know little to nothing of yours."
I concentrated on adding heaps of cocoa powder to her mug, struggling to keep the spoon steady. Godric I wanted to know this from the moment she arrived, but at the same time I didn't want to know the answer.
As complicated as this whole situation is, as it stands, Ky, even with her different clothes and different hair and terrible decisions, was my Ky.
Did I really want to know for sure that she was with someone else? Because surely she would be, nobody stays single for seven years, and especially Ky. Merlin she was so beautiful she turned me into a complete teenager with just one night in her presence, but she went to college, was still in college, didn't that mean she had the whole muggle experience of parties and promiscuity…
"You're right. That's not fair. What would you like to know?"
I poured the boiling water into the mugs, pleasantly surprised at her words, "What do you do on Sundays?"
She raised her brows, neither of us expected my question. I didn't really know where it came from, but asking her if she was seeing someone right off the bat seemed a bad idea.
"Sundays…I try to spend as much time in bed as I can." She laughed and I tried to not imagine what that meant, knowing what that meant for me, and a confusing fusion of guilt at memories of Ginny and I in bed on Sundays, and jealousy at the thought of Ky with some statuesque man doing the same things I did with Ginny, tumbled inside me. "But I'm never successful because Padfoot wakes me up like clockwork."
"What?" That pulled me out of my head with a jolt.
She smiled, reaching for her mug, and I held it away as I grabbed a bag of tiny marshmallows from the snack cupboard and popped a few in it, her smile widened when I passed the drink to her, "Well, it felt the most appropriate name for a large, black dog."
"You have a dog?"
"Yup! Wanna see a picture?"
"YES!" I laughed, and she pulled out her mobile, flipping it open to the wallpaper. Of course she had one of those fancy new phones, "Oh wow, he looks just like him." It was uncanny, the big shaggy black hair. Sirius.
"Right! And I just stumbled across him as a puppy, he was lost but I couldn't find his owners so I just kept him. Anyway, he is a belgian shepherd and a ball of energy. The only reason I'm in such good shape is because I have to take him for a run what feels like twenty times a week. We usually spend Sunday mornings outdoors, hiking or jogging. Afterwards I usually have brunch with friends, just people I met during college. And then I get home fairly early so I can prep my lesson plans for the week." I was staring at her in amazement, our Sundays while worlds apart, were so similar, minus the canine. "I know, pretty boring."
"That's the last word I'd use to describe you."
Her stormy orbs met my own but I didn't look away, nor did I feel guilty at the statement. Her bottom lip snuck in between her teeth, and I clutched my coffee, holding the mug so my hands didn't do something stupid.
Would it be stupid?
Ky turned, and the breath I had been holding let out, and she walked back to the couch, folding onto it and I sat next to her.
"What would the first word be?"
"What?" I asked, lost in the memories her scent was dragging to the front of my mind.
"To describe me." Her eyes flickered up over the mug, bold and direct and my naval tugged.
Godric… she was flirting with me.
I smirked, "Consuming."
It was vague, but applicable. Ky consumed all my senses, but at the same time had the ability to consume everything she touched like a vengeful fire. She could both nurture me and make me feel satiated, but with that same power she could completely destroy me.
There was a glint in her eyes, as if she understood exactly what I meant by the word. I knew that look, she wore it when she would stare down at me as we made love, when she would control our pleasure, when I let her have all the power.
"And mine?" I whispered, not wanting to get lost in fantasies of Ky.
She was quiet for a bit, but then she lowered her mug and smirked, "Snitch."
"What?"
"Not the kind that get stitches if they taddle, but, the golden kind." She laughed.
My face fell, she was joking, but I wasn't in the mood for it. I desperately wanted to have some idea of what Ky thought of me, and I'd rather her not answer than make some silly joke of me being a golden snitch. Her face softened, taking on an apologetic look but before she could speak my head snapped around, I stood.
There was someone at the door, I could see the shadow of their feet.
There was a knock, "It's me, Ridley."
I glanced at my sneakoscope, which was its usual white cloud colour, and opened the door, "Do come in."
Ridley nodded, his blonde hair in a tight knot at the back of his head, "Sorry for the hour, noticed the light on from across the street when I was doing a perimeter check, and figured it was better to speak in person. Dumbledore."
The slightly older auror nodded a greeting at Ky, who looked just as perturbed at the name, as I was. There will always be one 'Dumbledore' to us, but I suppose that title did fully lie with her now. "Ky this is Ridley Abbott, Hannah's older brother, and a fellow auror. Any news?"
Ridley Abbott and Callum McDougal were standing guard as extra protection for Ky tonight. I was planning on getting a de-brief in the morning when I got to the office and it can't be good if they didn't wait for then.
"Yes, actually." He glanced at Ky, clearly uncomfortable with talking about the information in front of a stranger.
She didn't move, and I didn't blame her, afterall, these people were after her, I'd want to be kept in the loop too. But, we had protocols for a reason, and it might be unsettling to hear just what people were hoping to achieve with her body. Though, she did have a strong stomach.
"I think it's best Ky be kept in the loop, she might notice a detail, a name, a place that may seem unimportant to us."
Ridley sighed, he was a stickler for the rules, but he was a pragmatic man and clearly thought that Ky could weigh in with the information he found. "I don't know how much you know, but I was the one that passed the information on about someone being after Ky Dumbledore's remains. I heard it from Hannah, who overheard it when she was waiting on a table in the Leaky Cauldron. The group at the table were on their way out though, and they wore their hoods up and she didn't get a good eye on their faces. She followed after them, which was stupid of her and I've had words about that, but they went down Knockturn Alley, and thankfully she saw sense and didn't pursue them further, and came to me. I went straight to Robards with the news, which led to the Dumbledores' bodies being moved for safekeeping, and the discovery that we were in fact too late and Ky Dumbledore's remains were already captured, which we of course now know to be incorrect. Davies has just been in touch with Mundungus Fletcher, who has been good about keeping us abreast with any potential nefarious plots in his network. Fletcher swears he hasn't heard anything about people being after Ky Dumbledore's remains before yesterday. That, in fact, he had done a bit of digging on his own, and five hooded wizards were not seen in the alley yesterday at all."
"Hannah said they were five of them? There were five at Shell Cottage as well."
Ridley nodded, "I read your report. I suppose they could have separated in the alley, people usually don't move in groups so they would have been conspicuous. But, what I thought was important enough to speak to you tonight about, was that Bill Weasley has just been to inspect the graves at Hogwarts, and he says that the wards were not disturbed before the Ministry got there. We were working on the assumption that the perpetrators had only gone to Shell Cottage after they found Ky Dumbledore's grave empty, but it would seem, they knew the whole time, just where the real body was meant to be. Did you tell anybody that you hadn't moved her?"
"No." I answered quickly, it was my most shameful secret. How could I admit to being so weak and selfish. "I even visited the Hogwarts grave on the anniversary of her death. And I'd always be careful about visiting the Shell Cottage grave, never leaving any tokens or offerings. And the house itself is well warded."
"The grave does fall just inside the boundary of the wards, where the protective charms should actually be the strongest, but the wards aren't an invisibility cloak. Do you think you visited it often enough for anybody to see you there, notice a pattern? When was the last time you visited it?"
I glanced at Ky, but she had been looking down at her mug, "A few times a year." I went every month. "First of August." Ky's eyes were on me now, as I knew it would be.
"Is that a significant date?" Ridley was a great auror and I was an idiot for being so specific, I should have just said a few weeks ago.
"It was Bill and Fleur's wedding anniversary." I muttered, "They were having a party. I snuck out." I furrowed my brows, "It was mostly family, nobody who was at that party would have ever used the discovery that Ky's body was still at the cottage for anything bad."
"I'm sure you're right, but it would still be good to draw up a guest list, and if there was anybody working there on the night. Someone could have seen you sneak out to visit the grave?"
I doubted it, I was in my invisibility cloak but perhaps someone could have noticed me missing, but none of my family and friends would ever want to hurt Ky. Though, Ridley was right, there were people working there that night.
"I'll draw up a list of people. Of course. I was coming in to see Robards in the morning, I'll leave it with him, I'm sure he will circulate it."
"Good. Well, I better get home. Sarah's relieving me, she's taking the next shift."
Godric that must mean it was 3am. "Of course, thanks again, Ridley."
Ridley Abbot and I were never very close, but I appreciated that he didn't wait for the morning to relay all this to me and walked him out the door.
My mind was still buzzing with the facts that were just given to me. I turned after shutting the door, making sure the wards were up, and caught sight of Ky who was giving a mighty yawn.
I couldn't help the smile that snuck onto my lips as my heart tugged at her sleepy face.
"Sorry," she said, rubbing her eyes, "I've barely gotten any sleep these past few days." She cuddled into the sofa, which was extremely comfortable, and my favourite piece of furniture. "Scorpius." She answered my question before I asked it.
"Ahhh." I said, somehow managing to push the facts that I didn't want to remember about her out of my head. Of course, she had been helping Malfoy these past few weeks with his newborn.
Her eyes closed but her smile glowed brighter, "He held my finger yesterday."
I felt guilty about my surliness at the mention of the baby. He was just a baby afterall. I liked that her eyes were closed though, because it meant I could look at her all I wanted, and I did, reclaiming my seat. "Is he sick? I don't know much about babies, but he sounded pretty premature."
She nodded, "Very. Astoria held on as long as she could, to give him a fighting chance. He is a fighter too. He is so tiny, and smells so good. New baby smell. He has his dad's hair, but his mothers eyes." She opened her own then, our heads were on the backrest of the sofa, but we were both facing each other, my breath hitched as I felt her hand at my cheek, "Just like you. Beautiful green eyes."
Sleepiness had always been like veritaserum for Ky, and it would seem like that hasn't changed. It dawned on me, that in this very moment, I could ask Ky almost anything and she'd answer it.
"Kyrianna, you should go to bed."
I didn't want to take advantage of her in this, one of her most vulnerable states. The many questions I have can wait till tomorrow.
"You have the bed, I'll have the sofa."
I laughed, apparently she had grown more considerate in the years, never before choosing to be the less comfortable when sleep was concerned. "No. Anyway, I need to work a bit more, so it makes sense for me to sleep out here. I'll get the bed ready for you."
I made to get up but she stopped me, her hand moving from my cheek to my chest, "Stay."
With the one word she had me frozen in place, but my body was anything but cold. Her eyes were aglow, heavy with sleep but more open than they had been all night. Her blinks grew longer, and I moved my hand to cover her own at my chest, knowing that when sleep eventually claimed her, it would fall, and not wanting that.
What felt like moments later, the sun blasted through my large living room windows, waking me up, to find that Ky's hand had disappeared, but was replaced by her head.
On my chest.
My arms were about her and hers about me, keeping each other warm. Her brows furrowed and I flicked my hand at the window, closing the drapes. My neck ached from the awkward position, but I dared not move lest it disturb her, knowing that every wall would be erected once she awoke.
So I let sleep claim me once again.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed that chapter! Let me know what you think of it - thank you so much for reading!
Have a lovely week ahead!
Kalina