A/N: You know me by now. I can't resist tropes.
And I guess this can still count as plot... somewhat. Fluff is more important
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"There's only one bed," I pointed out the obvious, namely the very single bed that stood in the middle of the small room.
There wasn't much else in there. A window, a small table, two chairs and a TV mounted to the wall.
"Right…." The Master shrugged. "I didn't ask about that… It's big enough though."
"That's one big hell of a fan fiction cliche."
"A what now?"
I laughed and turned away. "Probably better if you don't know. I'm out. This won't happen."
He rolled his eyes. "Don't make a fuss now. You never cared."
That made me stop each and every thought and action in an instant. "What?" It had sounded very much like a taunt, but also like a fact. "Have we shared beds before? Is that a thing we do?"
The Master paused too, gnawing his bottom lip until he stretched it to a menacing grin. "Who knows. Maybe we did, maybe I'm lying." Suddenly he was right in front of my face. "You would have to believe whatever I tell you. Do you really want that?"
"N… no." I gulped and my heart picked up speed the longer we were in such close proximity. Behind me was only the closed door and no way to escape. Thoughtlessly as I could get I had manoeuvred myself into the worst situation.
The Master stretched out a hand and I shot backwards, my back hitting the door with a thud. Maybe I could slip away if I let myself fall? But how to get outside? His hand landed on my cheek, warm, strong, a threat and able to do whatever and… and simply stayed there.
"Calm down, lil' Lumin. I don't want to hurt you. And I'm not going to touch you, you hear me?" He looked at me with such open honesty, no lie detectable in his words or demeanour. A small and warm smile. A little, cheeky wink. "Unless you want to of course."
The Master retreated and I could breathe again. How strange. "That's where you draw the line?" I murmured.
"Oh please!" He sighed dramatically. "I'm going to tell you a thousand times if I have to. I'm not an animal and I am not human. I'm better than to be a slave of some primal urges like you are. If I hurt someone then because I want to. And I don't need to be disgusting to do that." He wrinkled his nose. "You know what. I don't really need sleep anyway. Have the room for yourself. I'll get you in around eight hours or so. That should be enough, right? "
Right.
I huffed.
"What? Don't tell me you need even more. That's getting ridiculous!"
"No… 'bout what you said before that. It's just ironic." I walked the two steps to the bed and sat down, talking to my hands. "That makes you better than all of the guys I met before."
"That's because I am."
Smug bastard. But I couldn't help the smile.
In hindsight, being in here wasn't more dangerous than the days I had been imprisoned in the mansion. Had he really wanted to… well… he could have done that a thousand times already. It was that fact that didn't make me flinch when he followed and crouched down in front of me, looking up with a curious half smirk.
"I haven't hurt you, have I?" he asked and there was this strange honesty again. An openness I simply didn't expect from… anyone, actually. "Aside from your ego maybe."
There. Moment ruined.
I laughed and shook my head. "No. No you haven't. I just don't…" Why was he even down there? It was such a vulnerable position. "I don't get why. You threaten me all day long, but then you make sure I'm okay and everything."
"Oh, don't think about it too hard." This boyish grin would be the death of me one day, I decided. "It's just fun messing with you."
"But there is more," I murmured, trying to catch the fleeting memory and flinching slightly when I couldn't get the thought to manifest. The only result was a short headache. Pouting I rubbed my temple. "It's hidden and that makes me crazy. I want it back, whatever it was."
"Don't try if it hurts." The Master took my hands away from my head. "I know what I'm talking about. When I tried to push the drums away… all the centuries ago. It's not going to work."
I didn't care. Should it hurt all it wanted, as long as I could remember. What made him act like this? Why was he a total prick one moment and then like now just a second later? What…
"What did I mean to you?"
The question slipped out before I could think about it and now there was no way to take it back again.
"You?" The Master let out a laugh. "You're nothing, a distraction from the drums maybe, but that's it."
Wow, okay, that hurt. And there he was, making himself so vulnerable, sitting down there, the stupid grin on his stupid face. And I wanted to punch him and myself too, for being an idiot and… there it was again, this strange little feeling, instinct, call it what you want, but I simply knew.
"You're lying," I realised, dumbfounded.
The Master's face fell. For a single moment he didn't hide anything, maybe out of surprise. But it was enough for me, the final straw. I didn't care any longer. He wouldn't tell and I didn't want to be fed with half truths and non-information. Those memories had to be somewhere. I could always feel them, lingering, just out of reach behind a barrier of searing anguish. So I focused again, grabbed whatever I could hold, despite the headache. If I pushed through, if I ignored the pain in my head, then maybe, maybe behind it all, in that darkness, in that red fog… a voice called out to me.
"...p that! You're killing yourself, for fucks sake!"
Hands were on me, my arms got pinned down on the mattress. I saw red, so much red. More words that I couldn't understand and everywhere was pain. Did I scream? The room was in flames. I couldn't tell anymore what happened. The world drowned in too much. It burned in black and red and I fell, fell, fell so deep, there could be no bottom. Until… until something cool smoothed the waves, gently flowing through my mind, calming, reassuring, healing. Slow and careful caresses guided me back, upwards and into the light of the living world again.
Idiot.
The word rang through my head as if I had thought it myself, but the voice wasn't mine. My body trembled, my heart raced and I panted, but I still managed to open my eyes again, feeling myself steadily calm. Above me knelt the Master, holding both of my arms to my sides, to cease any struggle. His look was restrained and somewhat distant and I felt… from the tips of his fingers, up my arms and through my veins, flowing through me like smoke… another presence. Another mind.
Dumbstruck I opened my mouth, but at the same moment the sensation carefully retreated. The Master sat back on his haunches and wiped a hand over his face. "Shit! Don't do something like that!" His voice sounded so desperate. "You could have died!"
"Would that be so bad?" I murmured. After all, he had threatened with it for days.
"Yes!" He only snapped at me.
My head still hurt, but it was only a remnant from the maddening pain that had been there before. Then, however, I noticed a different sensation and at first I thought it was my heart, but it was the chest itself, the black, ever moving mark on it that slightly pulsated. I decided to keep that to myself. The Master was mad enough at me.
I sat up, at a loss for any words, actually. The Master watched me for seconds until he wanted to get up. And it was then that something snapped in me, so I grabbed his hand.
"Stay."
He groaned annoyed and ruffled through his hair, seemingly uneasy and uncertain about the whole thing. "I'm not leaving anyway. After that stupid action I think I need to keep an eye on you."
"It could have worked." The defence sounded stupid, even in my own ears.
"Unlikely."
Why me? Why did I have to go through this? Hadn't my life been bad enough already? Abandoned, pushed away, beaten up and literally forgotten so many times I couldn't even count them anymore. I was a ghost. And now I didn't even have a past anymore. A past that seemed to be about a lot more than the Master was willing to let on. He plopped down on a chair, getting out some device to read, obviously ready to hold watch over me the whole night. Or at least until I slept.
No blame here. I kind of deserved that.
The awkward silence lingered for a minute more until I gave myself a mental clap to get up and undress at least my shoes and pants. Okay, the hoodie too. Sleeping too warm was uncomfortable, after all. The Master didn't even look. Good for him, I decided stubbornly, but also scolded myself for the short pang of… of what? Disappointment?
Whatever it was, I decided to ignore it and slipped under the surprisingly soft and comfy covers, closing my eyes and listening to the faint murmur of people out in the streets. It was still broad daylight, but I had been awake for the span of an earthen day. Roughly. It was hard to tell here. It was hard to breathe.
I needed to remind myself to actually take in air, my chest so tight it started to hurt after a while. My muscles were too tense, my jaw clenched. Minute after minute I twitched and turned and tossed around, not finding a single position to be comfortable in.
It just wouldn't leave me.
I needed to know.
And finally I sat up again, blinking tiredly into the room. Of course the Master noticed. His bloody sensitive senses picked up more than I was comfortable with.
"Can't sleep?" he asked. "Don't blame me. I'm not making a single sound."
No, he really hadn't. Maybe that was the problem.
"Help me," I whispered, before I could lose a second thought.
"With what?" The Master laid the tablet aside and rose from the chair, stepping next to the bed.
"Help me remember," I clarified, grumbling. "You're such a bragging sod, I bet you can do something."
He smacked his lips and nodded, but also shook his head. "I know as much about it as you do."
"And I'm supposed to believe that?"
"It seems so." There was hesitation at first, but after a bit of shifting and turning back to the chair the Master came to me and sat on the bed. "There is a way to at least take a closer look. You won't like it though."
And why did he care? "Tell anyway."
"I can have a look into your mind." He tapped against his head. "Telepathy, remember?"
Right, he had told me about it just hours ago. My brain was simply too full to process everything that happened right now. And there, when I had been dragged back from the darkness…
"Was it that?" I asked, half in thoughts still. "Just before. I… I felt as if I wasn't alone in my head and I heard a thought, but in your voice and then it was just… gone."
To my surprise, the Master seemed almost… nervous. He licked over his lips and looked across the room, his fingers twiddling and moving. Finally, he let out a frustrated growl. "I had to."
Strange. This felt like an apology. And that was the last thing I expected from him.
"Wasn't complaining," I mumbled.
"The Doctor was right. For once." The Master still looked into the room, somewhere, everywhere that wasn't my direction. "This isn't something to take lightly. I just never before… with anyone… never went much deeper than surface level. Just enough to twist some things a little, but not…"
"Not what?" I dared to ask.
"Forget it." The Master drew his brows together. Suddenly he seemed pissed. But the sensation vanished as fast as it had appeared.
"'kay. But will it help?"
He shook his head and, finally, looked at me. There was no lie in that look, no lie in his words. No, he reminded me of myself, in moments when I had been so completely lost that I couldn't keep holding on to my usual mask. When everything was too much and not enough at once.
"I don't know. And that's the truth. I don't care if you believe it, it's fact. All I can do is take a look and hope to find something."
I hummed, mulling over those words. In truth, the decision had long been made. "Let's do it then."