"But first," I held up a hand and did what I usually avoided, looking him straight in the eyes. People need that, don't they? "What's happening here? You go on about how annoying and human I am and then all the threats about killing me and stuff. And now you're…" I made a vague gesture in his direction. "You're what? Concerned? Curious? You're like a different person right now. That's a bit unnerving, you know?"

There was a slightly growing grin, one that could be cruel, but really wasn't. Who was the real Master? Would he actually answer that question? It was unlikely, but I still had to ask. And my answer came when he snickered, shaking his head. "Not telling."

Of course. I groaned, rolling my eyes.

"But," he poked my shoulder, "you are still a bother. And human on top, nothing not annoying about that. And still," his grin dropped and he pulled his feet up to sit cross legged on my blanket, "it would be to my benefit would you remember. So, if you want to do this, I'll need skin. Your hands should be fine for a start."

"Skin?" I raised a brow, still mulling over his non-answer.

"It's touch-telepathy for a reason. I told you all of this before, so if it works, I won't have to repeat everything. If not, I'll explain later."

Right. I pursed my lips, but still nodded. "Soooo… we just hold hands?"

The Master seemed to misinterpret my pouting, because he snickered again. "If you prefer more skin, we can do that too. But yes," he caught my hand that wanted to playfully smack his knee, "it's enough."

His skin felt a little rough, maybe from all the tinkering he always did. His fingers slid over mine, gently, slow, exploring every inch of skin and when he grabbed me, firm and secure, the sensation from before was back. A foreign energy bristled in my head, tingling, spreading. I gasped at the unexpected intensity and had to close my eyes for more focus. There was so… much. A warm and subtle energy flew through my veins like it belonged there, yet felt too strange, too foreign, too decidedly not me.

Follow me.

His words rang through my head, again feeling like my own thoughts, but not in my own voice. How peculiar. I wasn't sure what to do, so I allowed his mind to catch mine, to carry me along a path I couldn't even begin to describe. Deeper and deeper into the depths of what was… us? He was there too, and so was I, somewhere within his thoughts, his essence, his very being, although he managed to hide everything of interest from me. It all was a blur, nothing coherent, no images or real thoughts, only vague impressions that told me nothing.

I heard his sigh and felt a shift in his energy, his fingers drawing gentle circles on my skin. Why did he sit so far away? I needed more, more contact, more skin, more… more of you.

His thought, my thought. There was no way to tell. And then I was led away from that and we wandered somewhere else, deeper and not, farther and closer, into a space of light and darkness alike. Glowing golden particles swirled within thick tendrils of black smoke, intertwined, dancing, never touching.

A piece of the void. That was here before… But it's a lot bigger now.

In this space I had no eyes to see and yet could make it out as if I could.

Is that where my mark comes from?

I felt a hum. A confirmation. But I don't know what it means. I can't touch it. He shifted my awareness to the glow. This is your life force, by the way.

The dancing light particles vanished almost completely between the black. A small reservoir of golden energy. I could feel it singing, eliciting a sensation of happiness, contentment, hope. But it was only a drop where an ocean should lie. Emptiness stretched through the darkness instead and that was a familiar thing to me. My light almost completely drowned in it.

Doesn't look like much.

There was nothing but the tiniest flame when it was only the life force I gave to you. Just enough to barely stay alive. What you have now is more than sufficient.

One of his hands left mine and the connection lessened, the images becoming blurred and I wondered why he did that when I felt warmth against my chest, his fingers splaying over the mark under my shirt. From his mind came a sensation of almost… reverence and at the same time a sudden sadness, a twinge of pain that slipped through the cracks in his shielding. Only for a single moment, but I had felt it.

Suddenly I started to slip away. My vision darkened, pulse slowing. Was I falling asleep? My eyes got so heavy all of a sudden. Sudden? For how long had we been connected? Time lost all meaning, but my body couldn't keep up anymore, my thoughts slow and sluggish, dragging themselves through our barely holding connection.

The Master sighed and carefully retreated. He entangled the threads of his mind from mine and eventually let go of my hand. "Going so deep for so long is draining you."

"Mhm… noticed," I slurred. "'t least it'll make me sleep, huh?" I dropped backwards, glaring at the ceiling. Outside, the sun cast its orange glow into the room. Twilight. "Didn't know people have actual life force. That's weird."

"It's nothing surprising when you think about it. If you want to, I can dig a little deeper at some other point. We could try and tweak some stuff." He glared up at the ceiling as if there was something interesting. "Well, guess I can snoop around outside now. Seems like you're drained enough to not do something stupid."

He wanted to get up, but a sudden urge made me grab his arm. Inside my mind he could have done literally anything to me and even with all the things he managed to shield from my perception, there was still enough seeping through to paint a picture I didn't understand yet. But I knew one thing, and that for certain. He wouldn't hurt me. Not in a way that mattered at least.

"Stay. You wanted a nap too, didn't you?"

The Master didn't move, but he turned his head to look at me, too far away for me to make out his expression. But I could hear his chuckle. "And you freaked out at the thought of me sleeping here."

"Yeah, sorry."

"Ah, never mind. Being scared of me is never a bad option."

He laughed and got up from the bed, slipping out of everything but t-shirt and boxers. I didn't really look, couldn't even see much right now anyway. Sleep crept up on me faster now, making it hard for me to keep my eyes open and I must have slipped away already when the Master climbed on the mattress. The movement made me twitch back to the waking world for a moment. A moment that was just long enough to feel an inappropriate pang of regret, because the Master stayed as far away as was possible in the small bed.

.

He couldn't sleep. It was impossible and not because he, technically, didn't need to, right now. A nap every few days helped to keep the mind sharp, but there was no actual need for it. Aside from having some peace and quiet from the drums for a while.

No, he couldn't sleep because it was impossible with the raging storm of emotions in his chest. Being connected with his silly human felt too good and it had been so bloody hard to hold back and not sweep her up into his lap, holding her small body as firm as he could without breaking her.

Alive. Alive and breathing and as well as one could be in her circumstances. It was impossible. He didn't know how she could have come back. Nothing made sense. Nothing and least of all those stupid emotions that weren't supposed to exist in the first place.

They had almost overwhelmed him when he had seen her on the cameras, obediently following the soldiers into the building. She had come of her own accord, more or less, if you turned a blind eye to the Doctor and his pet sacrificing her.

Cowards.

He lay there, in the dim, fading light and watched the small, human form sleep. She didn't trust him, not really. It was almost like when they had first met, although back then she had been so broken that she hadn't cared if he would hurt her or not.

Guilt.

The drums agreed.

The Master's guts twisted. He hated this particular emotion. All of his life he had done his best to eliminate it from his mind, had once even been sentenced to death because the High Vectors had been unable to locate even a trace of it within him. And yet, in this very moment, it existed and did its best to torment him. Because if he hadn't decided to take back this stupidly tiny fragment of life force, Lumin wouldn't have "died". And if he hadn't more or less ran away from the situation he might have noticed earlier that she had been alive after all. Maybe the time he had left her frozen in place and stuck in some limbo had caused the whole damn memory thing.

And maybe, if he hadn't let his hurt about being forgotten spring to the forefront so much, he wouldn't have given her a reason to avoid and fear him. They could have worked on this together, as allies.

The Master hated everything about every one of those thoughts.

This wasn't him. He didn't feel like this. Not ever.

And yet… he did.

Groaning into the spreading darkness, the Master sat up and reached for the tablet he had left on the desk. It was no use to stall, there was nowhere to run to, nothing to scheme. The blue surface of a text field illuminated the room.

M: You there?

He waited, glaring at the message, not knowing if the number was correct or if the other one would even…

D: Master?

His hearts fell into an unhealthy rhythm for a few beats.

M: Who else? Unless you throw out that number to just everyone. Should I get jealous?

D: Where are you?

The message popped up so fast, the Master had barely finished. This had been a stupid idea, hadn't it?

M: Not telling

Oh, he wished he could see the Doctor's face now. Did he sit on the edge of a seat, grabbing his device like a lifeline? Was he alone?

D: I didn't know you have that number. Would have contacted you earlier then

M: What for? You told me everything I needed to know. I have nothing else to say to you than I did in the flames.

Fuck. The hurt burned inside of him. That moment had proven that there would never be any trust from the other one's side. The Master could turn into a literal saint and would still face the accusations. So why even try?

D: What did you do to Lucy? came the next message. The life signs are gone…

M: Oh please, Doctor. I found that stupid bug on her the minute she stepped in.

D: Is she… fine?

Next to him stirred said human and turned in her sleep, facing him. The Master couldn't help it, he stroked his hand over her cheek, happy to have her alive and mostly well. She smiled at the touch, a barely noticeable expression, but still there.

D: I don't want to believe you did something to her. Was that just a game to you?

M: Shut up. Ofc she's OK.

For a few minutes nothing else happened and the Master contemplated writing more. There was no use in telling the truth. The Doctor wouldn't believe it anyway.

It stung.

Part of him missed hearing the stupid excited voice babble on about some nonsense. By now they would have ended up in some messed up adventure again and the Doctor would, grudgingly, deal with whatever prank the Master would have thought of.

Pranks.

That was how it had been for some years, after all. No evil deeds. Well, none that were too bad, anyway.

A tiny grey font at the bottom showed that the Doctor was writing. Then it stopped. The Master held his breath, eagerly awaiting the messages that didn't come. The grey notice disappeared, then reappeared some moments later, only to stop again. And again. Was that morron writing a novel?

The Master sighed and pressed two fingers against his eyes. Why in the universe had he initiated contact? This was so stupid and useless. Nothing would come from it. Just accusations and a speech on morals and whatnot. He barely wanted to look at the screen again, but eventually did.

D: miss you

Nothing else.

The Master didn't write back. He didn't know what.