Hangover we goooo.

Cover Art: Kirire

Chapter 124

The siege of the Containments Office came swiftly and without warning.

Ozpin's machinations, no doubt.

The first instance was a call from a pair of officials from a local government agency investigating what they called an "anonymous tip-off as to the use of underage labour". What followed was a routine set of interviews in which Jaune tried to explain that Ruby's role was part-time, high-pay, and that no, he wasn't abusing young people for cheap labour.

The way their eyes boggled out once they saw Ruby's salary was amusing, not to mention the obvious jealousy.

It took a whole morning and into midday to sort it all out, during which Ruby had to be called from Patch to speak to them and defend Jaune's practices in the face of some incredibly patronising questions.

"It's okay, you can talk to us—"

"I'm talking to you," Ruby deadpanned.

"We're your friends—"

"You're two random strangers."

"—did the man make you sign any strange documents or forms?"

"I know what a contract is! I'm fifteen, not five!"

Fifteen might as well have been five in the eyes of a lot of adults, unfortunately, and that went doubly so for adults from an agency dedicated to keeping children safe from unscrupulous adults. It was a shame these kinds of people had been content to turn a blind eye to Jacques Schnee, but it was what it was. Blake watched it all unfold with something halfway between amusement for how annoyed Ruby was getting, and irritation for how patronising the duo could be.

But eventually, it was sorted out. Ruby made it clear she knew what she was getting into and Jaune had to sign some forms agreeing to occasional checkups and that Ruby was to be given a new contract when she reached her majority at seventeen, and that she should have the chance to renegotiate or back out the company at that point. Ruby was then forced to take all kinds of cards, leaflets, brochures and more that would "help educate her on what her rights as an employee were and who she could reach out to for support". The poor girl stumbled under the weight of it all, teetering back before falling like a tree and scattering brochures everywhere.

Jaune let out a groan once they were gone, his head falling to his desk.

"At least that's over," Blake began, at the very moment someone knocked at the door. "Uh. Did they forget something?" She moved to open the door since Ruby and Jaune were in no position to do so. "Hello…?"

"Good day," the official and suited woman replied. "Is Miss Rose in? I'm from the Department of Huntsman/Huntress Development."

"The… what…?"

"It's a part of the Department of Education. I speak with young men and women who are, for whatever reason, feeling they have no option but to drop out of education. We can provide support, assistance and further training to show them they needn't abandon their dreams so early!"

"Because Vale needs them against Grimm…?"

"B—Because Vale supports their dreams!" the woman said, blushing guiltily. "So, is she in?"

Ruby whimpered.

Two hours later, the woman left disappointed that Ruby had cemented her choice to leave the huntsman roster and not throw herself in front of Grimm – Ruby had said it from moment one, but, of course, the woman demanded Ruby sit and listen to her every argument. From potential income to guilting her over how many lives might go unsaved without her. Ruby had almost cracked at the last before Jaune reminded her their own work was just as important.

Eventually, the woman left. Blake checked her scroll. "It's two in the afternoon and we haven't gotten a single bit of work done."

"Ughhhhh…" Jaune agreed.

A knock came at the door.

"No, no, no. Tell them we're not in. Tell them they have the wrong place.

Blake opened the door.

It was a police officer.

"Miss Belladonna? We've received anonymous reports that you may be involved in activities of a terrorist nature." The man held up a warrant. "We're going to have to ask you a few questions."

"Motherfucker…"

"We're going to need you to come down to the station with us."

/-/

"RARGHH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

It was two days later – two days of hell and bureaucracy later – and they hadn't gotten any work done. It had taken the better part of a day to foist off the police, and that involved some threats to big people in government from ARC Corp (from Jaune, really, but technically from ARC Corp). They had assured them the case would go nowhere, but that still meant there was a case for now.

Then there had been the department of health and safety with suggestions of dangerous working conditions – which was very much true – wanting to look over their property. Luckily, they didn't know about the facility, but that's till left Blake to smuggle Timothy out the office under a blanket and into her own apartment.

The spider had been excited at having a new home and promptly webbed her bed.

Still, it proved a good idea since the department for exotic wildlife appeared next on reports of unusual animals being kept in captivity. They found none in the office, but there was plenty of evidence of a spider of some kind – not just webbing, but bags of dried crickets to feed him with. They had left with veiled threats that they would be "watching them" for signs of keeping exotic wildlife, and the harm it could cause the local ecosystem if it escaped. Ruby asked what they would do had they found something, and then the man made the mistake of saying that such a hypothetical creature would probably have to be destroyed.

Jaune had apologised profusely to the man's superiors after the ambulance had come to take him with a keen case of crushed balls. They'd managed to fangle a deal to pay the man off and cover his bills, and it wasn't like they wanted to admit they'd been bested by a little girl either. Still, Timothy was staying in her apartment for the meanwhile.

But it didn't stop there.

Agency after agency, department after department, the Containments Office was barraged with checks and investigations and even a few elderly women who came from a local knitting club that had apparently heard Jaune was trying to surround himself with impressionable young women.

That had been an awkward one. Doubly so when she and Ruby had to sit down and listen to old women telling them to "have more respect for themselves" and "not let that handsome young man take advantage of them" all while Jaune got berated for the same by another.

"I can't survive another," Ruby cried. "I just can't!"

"We've gotten no work done," Blake groaned. "Give us a case. Brain-eating worms, I beg you."

Jaune was slumped over his desk. "I assumed he'd threaten us with exposure or try to kill us. I didn't expect Ozpin to go straight for the pettiness approach. That fucker!" He shook one fist weakly. "We're drowning in red tape."

Ozpin's gambit wasn't to go to war with ARC Corp. It was to wear them down until they decided it'd be easier to let Ruby go. Worse yet, it was in a manner they couldn't respond to. If Ozpin had gone big, they could have moved to unseat him, but if ARC Corp had the ear of the council, Ozpin had their other ear. As long as one side didn't cause trouble, Vale's government wouldn't hear of either being removed.

"How are things at home?" Blake asked Ruby.

"Ugh. Don't get me started. Dad is fine but Uncle Qrow has been trying to convince me and, when that doesn't work, he tries to convince dad to push me back into Signal and Beacon. He even got a letter from Ozpin saying I could be accepted a year early."

"What are the odds your father caves?"

"Not very. Dad lost mom to the job so he doesn't want to lose me, and he's always been big on letting me and Yang make our own decisions." Ruby looked happy about that. "So as long as Uncle Qrow can't convince him the job is bad for me in some way, it should be okay." She scowled. "But it's still annoying!"

"And Yang?"

"Upset but not making a big deal of it yet. Yang knew I wanted to work here and we already had our arguments about it after Mountain Glenn. I know she isn't happy, but we've said what has to be said and neither of us wants to start arguing again."

At least that was one side of the family they wouldn't have to deal with. Qrow hadn't come and pressured them yet, but it was only a matter of time until he did.

"What's our goal, then? Resist until Ozpin runs out of petty things to do, has to go bigger, and then we strike?" Blake groaned. "That could take weeks."

"I'm not sure what else we can do," Jaune replied. "He's working within the confines of the law, so we can't really do anything about him."

"Laaame." Ruby complained. "Why can't we use the law against him?"

"Because he hasn't done anything illegal."

"He's harassing me!"

"Yes, but…" Jaune trailed off, suddenly that much more alert. "Wait…

/-/

It took time to get approval from Jaune's family – time in which three more people came to do a welfare check on Ruby and drive them up the wall. Thankfully, ARC Corp approved it. Maybe they saw a chance to get further testing done, or maybe it was just to screw over Ozpin – even potentially kill him if they were so powerful. If the worm itself could be slain, there would be no further iterations of him in the future.

But even if he avoided death, it would still get him out their hair.

And, so, Anomalous & Sons LLP were called.

Exactly thirty minutes later – precisely to the second – a portal opened and a woman in a purple suit stepped through. She was inhuman in her symmetry, an uncanny-valley effect that shone not from imperfections but from perfection. She was not beautiful, nor was she ugly, but Blake knew that if someone took advanced measuring tools to her face and body, they would find not a single degree out, not a single micrometre of difference from one side to the other. Pale skin, black hair, purple eyes, purple suit. Perfect symmetry.

"I am Miss Purple," she said, unimaginatively. "And I shall be your legal representation." She set her briefcase on Jaune's desk, removed a notebook, timer, and more, and arranged them obsessively before her. "You shall be charged by the minute. Please explain your needs."

Jaune took charge. "This is Ruby Rose, my employee and the one you'll be representing. Whether I'm your client or she is doesn't matter to us. Choose which you prefer." The anomalous woman nodded silently. "She's legally opted to work for us and we're treating her as a full employee, but a rival wants her and has been swamping us in malicious compliance matters for half a week now."

The woman took the various documents left by various agencies, leafing through them at a speed that was factually too fast for her to read anything. And yet Blake didn't doubt she had. Anomalous speed-reading to better help with their legal duties. Were they the anomalies, or were they like Qrow – humans who had pledged to follow and so been empowered by another anomaly? The latter felt more believable, because that meant Anomalous & Sons had one who could empower, rather than lots of individuals who all happened to have similar and related powers.

"These are not illegal in their scope," Miss Purple said. "But I sense it is not them you wish me to act against."

"Not at all. Ozpin has been going to them, but he's also been going to Ruby's family – and that without her consent or approval. He's had her uncle pressuring her, and also pressuring her father, and there are concerns he'll go after Ruby's sister as well. We want to know what can be done within the confines of the law to get him to back off."

"Then you have come to the right people. Tell me, Miss Rose. Do the actions of this individual upset you?"

Ruby nodded. "Yes."

"Do they cause you undue stress?"

"Yes."

"Explain in more words, please. How do you feel going home each night?"

"Ugh. Kinda panicky to be honest." Ruby fidgeted. "It's like work is fine, but going home from work is the worst because I just know Uncle Qrow will be there having an argument with dad. It makes me not want to go home."

"I see. What do you think of Headmaster Ozpin for attempting to recruit you in this manner?"

She scowled. "I hate it! I mean, I didn't hate him before, but this is making me feel that way."

"Does he frighten you?"

"A little…"

"Again, please explain further."

"I'm not afraid of him hurting me because I'm trained and can protect myself, but I'm kind of scared that if he wants me this badly, what will he stop at? Will he hurt Yang? Will he hurt Jaune and Blake? And what does he want me for?" Ruby looked down at her hands in her lap. "I saw dad fall apart when mom died. I don't want to imagine how bad it'll be if he has to bury me as well."

Blake swore under her breath. It was easy to write Ruby off as recklessly brave, and she almost certainly was, but that didn't mean she was oblivious to the fact that more people than her would suffer if she died.

"Then allow me to summarise. This man causes you emotional distress, makes you physically and mentally unhappy to leave work and go home, pressures you in your own home through your family, and ignores your wishes as to your employment. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"I believe something can be made of this." Miss Purple linked her fingers on the desk. "In my estimation, we should be able to legally charge this man for stalking and secure a restraining order keeping him from interacting with Miss Rose. "

Ruby grinned. Jaune smiled.

Blake, feeling particularly evil, asked, "Assuming we won that, could we have the restraining order drafted by your company?"

"Yes. For a fee."

"And what would happen if he broke that order created by you?"

"Then, Miss Belladonna, he would be considered in breach of a contract bound to this universe, and he would be removed from it indefinitely."

"Perrrfect."

"However, such a contract would have to be written with enough room for him to act normally," she warned. "It would account for if he and Miss Rose accidentally came close to one another, or if they interacted as a part of his or her normal work operations – such as if Miss Rose attended the graduation of her older sister and met him there. He would not die in such a case."

"But it'd stop him being able to harass me about this?" Ruby asked.

"Yes. It would also cover asking others to harass you on his behalf."

"That might not stop your uncle," Jaune told her. "But I'm guessing you don't want him erased from reality anyway." Ruby violently shook her head. "Well, at least it'll deal with Ozpin. We'll have to hope Qrow calms down once Ozpin's hands are tied. How do we get this sorted?" Jaune asked the anomalous solicitor.

"We must first best him in a court of law as to the initial charges. Only if a judge finds him guilty will a restraining order be enforced, at which point we can draft it."

"Really?" Blake asked. "I thought those orders could bypass court."

"Only if both parties agree to them. They are often used in settlements to avoid lengthy court battles."

"And he'll never agree to that," Jaune said. "Fair point. The only way we'll get his signature on that paper is if we have a court enforce it." He sighed. "This is going to be expensive, isn't it? I don't suppose your rates for representing us in court go to by-he-hour, do they?"

"They do, yes."

Jaune perked up. "Really!?"

"Yes. Our hourly rates are sixty-times our minute-rates."

Ruby snorted.

Jaune sighed. "And a court case could take…?"

"Quite some time."

It was a good job ARC Corp had a lot of funds to spare because Blake had the sinking suspicion this would end up costing them tens of millions of lien. Did ARC Corp's desire to inconvenience, or even potentially kill, Ozpin really extend that far? Jaune made the call to his father while the solicitor waited, the timer ticking their lien away.

Jaune explained the case and the cost to his father over the line.

"And what happens if Ozpin breaches this contract?"

"To hear them, it's death. Or more. Complete removal from existence."

"Do it. I don't care how much it costs. This might be our only chance to ever be rid of that worm. The company's funds are fully unlocked to you. See this through."

Jaune ended the call. "We're in," he told the solicitor. "You've got the green light."

Miss Purple smiled for the first time. "Excellent choice, sir."

/-/

It would have been great to have Ozpin back off then and there but the legal forms had to be made, the charges laid, delivered, and then they would have to wait for a court date. All that was going to take time no matter how many palms ARC Corp greased to make it faster. The more immediate benefit was that Ozpin would surely take his own legal advice to defend himself, the most obvious of which would be to stop interacting with Ruby and give the prosecution any more ammunition.

Tha was probably why the fifth day saw them with no door knockers. Jaune and Blake spent the whole morning glaring at the door just waiting for someone to knock it down, only for the hours to tick by.

By midday, they dared to hope.

And then the knock came.

"What now!?" Blake snarled and yanked the door open. "I swear if this is—"

It was not Ozpin or another group sent by him.

It was actually Ruby's sister, Yang. Also, alter-Blake's girlfriend. That was a little more awkward than Blake wanted it to be, especially since her alter-self was so happy and so successful.

"Oh. Um. Hi." Blake waved awkwardly. "Welcome? Sorry about the shouting."

"Ruby has told me all about the week you've been having, so no worries."

"Right. Um. Ruby is in our office on Patch right now…"

"I know. I was hoping to speak with you and Jaune."

Blake held the door open and watched the girl as she walked by. Unbidden, her eyes drifted down Yang's back to her rear. She wasn't sure why since she'd never really had any interest in her before now. It just felt that, if her alter-self was dating her, then she could have her too if she ever wanted. There was a very real question in her mind as to whether she was missing out in some way.

My alter self gets everything after all, and I'm left high and dry.

Yang was goodlooking, that wasn't in doubt, but she didn't feel any rush of heat or burning attraction to her. That could have been dampened by the fact Yang didn't like them or what they did, or just by the idea that she didn't want to be chasing after what her alter-self did out of some sense of pride.

That if she mimicked what the other Blake did, she'd somehow be playing catch-up with someone she'd never match because her alter-self had managed to reform Adam instead of killing him.

"Miss Xiao-Long." Jaune nodded. "Welcome. I assume this is about Ruby."

"In a sense and call me Yang. Miss sounds wrong." Yang took a seat. "Look, I'm not here to cause trouble or get on Ruby's case. She's made her choices and I don't want her feeling like she has to avoid me because I'll crawl down her throat about it."

"I believe Ruby feels the same way. She told us she appreciated you letting her make her own decisions." A little paraphrasing, but Jaune wasn't exactly lying. "What's this all about, then? Do you have concerns for her safety?"

"Would you blame me if I did?"

"No. You know of what we do and what it's all about. You know how dangerous this is." Jaune waved a hand when Yang tensed. "However, Ruby isn't an active agent so she isn't dealing with any of that. Ruby's job right now is basically admin. And I mean that unironically. The worst danger she's in is writing cramp or falling off her chair."

"Right. Right. I already kinda knew that. Ruby told me."

Hopefully, she didn't tell her too much, but Yang knowing of the anomalous might give her some legroom. It wasn't like Jaune was as big a stickler for the rules as his family either.

"This is… well… the headmaster has been asking me to talk to Ruby." Jaune and Blake instantly scowled. "Which I'm guessing isn't a surprise to you two going by your expressions. Look, I'm not here to get stuck in the middle of this. What I want to know is why my teacher and my uncle are both on my back about talking to Ruby and why they're trying to guilt me into guilting her into coming to Beacon."

Jaune sensed an opportunity to put Ozpin in just a fraction of the hot water he'd left them in, and promptly leaned forward.

"You know what… let's talk. I think you ought to know more about the man your uncle holds so much loyalty to. It might even give you a few clues as to why your mother left."

"Summer—"

"Not her. Your birth mother."

Yang's eyes widened.

/-/

Ruby logged off the laptop and took her files along with the pen drive she'd been using to download documents from the other dimension onto. It had been a rare occurrence where alter-Jaune had been the one talking to her, and he hadn't even gone on about how their Jaune was a danger that needed to be dealt with.

Instead, he'd been chatty and happy to answer questions, and he'd even looked into his version of Ruby Rose, who was apparently still in Signal but slated to make her way into Beacon in two years' time.

Making her way back to the control centre, Ruby sat down at the main terminal and started typing in case entries. It was typical work logging in and making new files for the anomalies they sent over. Her permissions didn't let her look up existing ones – which was a shame since she'd have loved to spend her lunch hour looking up old cases – but she was able to make new ones, and that was her job.

To do it, she had her own laptop bought with company money, which she kept alongside the Interdimensional Chatroom to take notes on, and then she'd take that laptop back to the control room and manually enter the data. It was a security measure Jaune's father had demanded, as it meant any data from the other dimension couldn't reach an active internet connection. Once she had written things manually from her laptop to the terminal, she had to delete the files on her laptop.

"This would be boring if the cases weren't so interesting," she said to herself, as she typed away. "So many cool cases – it's like getting to ready sci-fi fantasy all day and being paid hundreds of thousands for it. Heh heh."

Ruby sipped her milkshake as she worked. Blake and Jaune liked their icky coffee, but she'd stacked the fridge in the facility with milkshakes and cookies. What was the point in being paid so much if you couldn't use it? The local bakeries on Patch had become very profitable all of a sudden.

Giggling at her good fortune, Ruby inserted the pen drive into her laptop and accessed some of the extra files the alter-world had sent over. Images that she'd been told she had to transcribe because they were key to the cases. Alter-Jaune had suggested she download them, but it was probably safer to take photos of her screen using her scroll and then download those instead. At least then it wouldn't get her in trouble for cross-dimensional contamination.

In my first week on the job, too. No thanks!

Ruby opened up the main file on the drive.

And her laptop screen went black.

"Huh…" Tapping her mousepad around, she tried to bring some life back to it, but to no avail. "What? But this is brand new—" The screen flashed back on. "Ah! Good!"

It was a black screen with green lettering typing across it automatically, throwing around some rather worrying words like "permissions", "access terminal" and "interdimensional contingency". Ruby watched in horror as her laptop began to boot and run programs without her control, opening thousands of files at once and scrolling through them both without her control and without an internet connection.

That last part probably saved her job.

That this virus wasn't running on the control terminal she was sat at. The control terminal that alter-Jaune had suggested she plug the drive into and access.

"Uhhh. I'm not going to get in trouble for this, am I...?"

Reaching over, Ruby pushed a button on the terminal. Instantly, an alarm began to sound and every door – including the ones to the room she was in – slammed shut and locked, with metal grates coming down over them. The alarm would go further than just the facility, alerting not only Jaune and Blake, but other directors as well. The entire facility was sealed off in a matter of seconds.

"And on my first week," Ruby whined. "Not like thiiis…"

At least she had a fridge full of treats.

Next Chapter: 25th November

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